Strengthening Your Blended Family
Many blended families see adopting a stepchild as a way to strengthen the new relationship. And in most states, stepparent adoption is a relatively easy process.
Unlike outside adoptions by unrelated third parties, a stepparent adoption doesn’t typically require the same scrutiny such as home studies and lengthy hearings. There is still paperwork that must be completed and the adoption must be approved by the court but much of the initial investigation is often waived.
As with any adoption, consent must be obtained from the non-custodial biological parent. If the parent refuses consent and has strong ties with the child, the stepparent adoption will likely be denied.
Before pursuing a stepparent adoption, you should consider whether it is truly the best thing for the child. While you may see it as a way to bring your new family closer together, keep in mind that the child may not want to sever his ties with his birth parent. By adopting your stepchild, the biological parent will no longer have any parental rights and all legally allowed visitations will cease. If the child and parent maintain regular communication and continue to have a strong relationship, be aware that the adoption could cause emotional and psychological harm to the child.
In these cases, it may be best to remain a stepparent and allow the child to continue his or her relationship with their biological parent. Everyone’s situation is unique, but use your best judgment, and always consider the welfare of the child.
You may enjoy this book on the overall adoption process.
10 Comments
Any idea what the procedure is like if the biological parent has no contact with the child, and can’t be found to give consent?
You have to prove that there has been no contact or support. You also have to prove that there has been no attempts at contact. If the other parent has tried in any way, even indirectly to make contact or provide support, or even if they have not but they show up to contest the adoption, a judge will deny it. The slightest bit of interest is all a parent needs to show to retain their parental rights. The biological parent must be found to notify or you will not be able to go forth.
My 15 year old son has been with his step father since he was 15 months old and does not ever remember a time without him. That is truly his dad, but he does speak to his biological father on occassion but is developing a strong need to be adopted by my husband so he can belong to him, the man who is truly his dad. His biological hardly ever comes to see him or try to attend any of his activities or recognizes my son on holidays. His love is very conditional. My question would be what are the chances of an adoption if his father will not sign?
If the other parent will not consent, your chances are 0%.
what if the biological parent has hardly been there and the child really doesnt know his bio parent, and another man wants to adopt that child and said child has a strong tie to that other man, but said biological parent refuses to sign away there rights?
You must have consent. Any attorney that tells you that you can go forth without consent is not telling you the whole truth. The whole truth is that anyone can file for anything in court, but you will not win without consent. The attorney will take your money and tell you they really thought it would work. A judge will not approve an adoption without consent.
ok but in the state of oklahoma if a parent has not made contact in 14 months weather or not they pay childsupport its still abandoment so, their for the cusdodeol parent they could get abandoment charges pressed agiasnt the bio parent, than have his parental rights yank, than have another person adopt said child. in oklahoma no matter if the bio parent is paying childsupport or not that is not a form of contact. due to it is garnished out of bio parents pay checks. unless bio parent calls or pysically comes by to see said child it is abandoment
Yes, all states have similar provisions, however, the other parent must be notified and have the right to contest an adoption or termination of their rights and there is no law that forces non custodial parents to visit their children. However should it be that they risk losing their children and contest an adoption, they are no longer considered to have abandoned said child(ren) because they are showing interest by opposing termination or adoption. Non-custodial parents have free will to assert their rights when it is convenient for them, not their child(ren).
All the non-custodial parent has to do is show up and say that they wish they could have a meaningful relationship with their child and they plan to in the future but that right now the custodial parent makes it too difficult so they’re waiting until the child is old enough to come to them, that they are the biological parent and they wish to remain so.
Trust me, my ex had literally abandoned us, didn’t hear from him for over 4 years! No support either, he was in hiding, no legit job. I had welfare agencies on my side and everything. His rights could not be terminated until we located him for notification. That’s what they kept telling me. Someone finally located him and he was notified. I thought it was a done deal, everyone assured me of it, my attorney, child welfare, etc. Well he showed up at the last hearing contesting it. All he said was that he still wants to remain on the birth certificate and that he didn’t know how to get a hold of me. The judge said that just the fact that he showed up was showing enough interest in parentage that his rights should not be terminated.
I tried in two more states over the next 10 years without contact, each time he showed up. Each time in between, no contact.
I wasted a lot and time and money trying to get a step parent adoption. Now 19, my son and my husband have done an adult step-parent adoption. Bio father still has no interest in my son. He just didn’t want to be shamed by having his rights terminated.
Over 19 years of his life, when he was 2 months old his dad left us high & dry. When he was 4 I first tried to terminate his rights. We moved to another jurisdiction, when he was 10 I tried again. We moved to another jurisdiction and I tried again when he was 15.
19 years old, the only contact his bio father ever made was 3 appearances in total to stop step-parent adoption. Every time, those appearances were assertive enough for the Courts.
I’m telling you, get consent or forget about it. It doesn’t matter what the law says, it’s what the Judge’s do.
Ok my situation is, I have 100% custody in the court he even said his life style isn’t well enough for a child and said he doesn’t want custody give it to me. Now how would that work against me to get my husband to adopt my daughter?
Sounds like he is willing to consent. Have him notarize consent to step-parent adoption and relinquishment of his parental rights.
If he will not sign, be careful.
The bio-father in my situation said the same things to me, but when I asked him to sign the paperwork and have it notarized, he agreed, when I sent the paperwork, he ignored them, and never sent them back.
We decided to go to court anyway, our filings said that he does agree wants to consent, but that he had not done so yet.
I, too, had sole legal, sole physical custody.
It went to court, and at the final hearing he showed up and said he didn’t know how to get a hold of me, but he doesn’t want his rights terminated.
Even the laws in that state, and prior supreme court rulings showed we had all the right to win regardless of his last minute wishes, but the Judge denied the adoption anyways.
Adoptions are very expensive, get consent. Don’t count on the other person to let you win by default, it’s too risky.
Once you file once, if it is denied, any future chances you have are greatly diminished.