The idea of divorce brings out strong emotions in most people. Feelings of failure, regret and fear all make the idea almost unbearable. On top of the pain of a broken marriage you now must deal with the emotional and financial stress of divorce. Many of the preconceived ideas we have about divorce focus on the few cases that actually go to trial. Over publicized celebrity divorces and TV shows rarely reflect the truth about a typical divorce. The truth is litigating a divorce can be outrageously expensive, but very few divorces will ever make it to trial.

The court does not have the time or resources to fully understand the intricacies of your family so they encourage private settlements. The court will likely order you to attend mediation, co-parenting classes and numerous hearings before you case may proceed to trial. Many people have embraced this trend toward private settlements and have hired attorneys and mediators to help them reach a settlement without court involvement. By choosing this path you can reduce the costs of your divorce and decide for yourself what best suits the needs of your family.

In recent years mediation has been used as an effective alternative to litigation in numerous areas of law including family law. I understand that during a divorce emotions are running high and sitting down face to face to resolve your marital issues may not be a pleasant idea. However a mediator can provide you with a safe environment to openly discuss your concerns and help you work toward a mutual agreement. In addition issues like child custody may further benefit from your willingness to mediate because your children are unique and decisions made by you can take into account their special needs.

Collaborative law offers another cost effective alternative to litigation. Collaborative law generally refers to settlement negotiations when both sides have agreed not to involve the court. With collaborative law each spouse may be represented by an attorney who negotiates on their behalf. The cost is higher than mediation but still may be significantly less expensive than litigating your divorce. Collaborative law may be appealing because each side may benefit from an attorney’s representation but it removes the threat and expense of litigation.

As a family law attorney I understand that there are many stresses put on families and marriages during these economically challenging times and often these stresses play a major factor in divorce. My goal in this article is to help those considering divorce and provide them with the information they need to resolve their family law issues. By fully exploring your options you can decide on an approach to divorce that fits your needs.

This article is meant only to provide information and is not intended as legal advice. If you have questions concerning your particular case you should make an appointment to talk to an attorney or mediator about your options.

Keith Dysart is a Family Law Attorney and Mediator in Santa Cruz, CA
http://www.dysartlawfirm.com/

Related posts:

1. Mediation
2. Mediation and Collaborative Divorce
3. Book Review: Divorce Without Court: A Guide to Mediation & Collaborative Divorce

When the marriage appears to be failing, many couples choose to separate first while others seek a divorce right away. What’s the difference?

The most distinct difference between separation and divorce is that a divorce legally and permanently terminates the marriage. Once the divorce is final (and subject to any waiting periods establish by the laws of your state), both parties are free to remarry someone else without any repercussions.

A separation, on the other hand, does not terminate the marriage and does not give the parties the right to remarry without first getting a divorce.

Other aspects of the split – such as child support, property division, custody issues and alimony can all be addressed through a legal separation just as they would be in a divorce and in many states, the legal separation agreement can later be converted to a divorce at the request of one or both of the parties.

So, what’s the point of getting a legal separation?

While there are a few different types of separation, a legal separation will protect your interests as well as that of your spouse while the two of you decide how to proceed as the separation is documented with a separation agreement or court order. Often couples find a way to work things out and choose to reconcile. With a legal separation, there would be no need to remarry as the marriage was never terminated. For some people, their religious or cultural beliefs prohibit them from divorcing. A legal separation would give them all of the legal protections of a divorce, without the divorce.

And in the event that you do later decide divorce is the right choice, that decision is likely made with a clearer state of mind as you’ve allowed some time for the emotions to settle. In fact, many states require that couples separate first before granting a divorce to be sure that the divorce is really what they want and not just a decision made in the heat of the moment.

If you would like to learn more about legal separation, you may be interested in this book about “controlled separation” as well as this book about separation management techniques.

Related posts:

1. Legal Separation
2. Divorce and Legal Separation
3. What's the Difference Between Divorce and Annulment?

Most people are confused and misinformed about how the California courts calculate spousal support. Spousal support (alimony) is payment from one spouse to another paid during or after a divorce and is based largely on need, ability to pay and the marital standard of living. Below are some of the biggest myths about Spousal Support:

Myth #1: Spousal Support is ordered for one-half the length of the marriage.

Many people believe that if spouses were married, for example, for ten years then spousal support is automatically ordered to be paid for half the length of the marriage, or five years. There is no California law which provides that spousal support must be paid for half the length of the marriage. While this can serve as a rough guideline, the court takes many other factors into consideration and this guideline should not be relied upon.

Myth #2: Infidelity of a spouse will be taken into considertion by the court when determining spousal support.

California is a no fault divorce state. Therefore, infidelity by a spouse will have no relevancy in a divorce proceeding and will not affect the amount or duration of spousal support ordered by the court.

Myth #3: Once spousal support is ordered it cannot be changed or modified.

Spousal support can always be modified (unless the spouses agree that it will be non-modifiable). Some events which may trigger a modifcation of spousal support are the payor’s loss of a job, a significant change in the custodial timeshare (amount of time allowed with children) or possibly a substantial inheritance received by the payee.

Related posts:

1. Spousal Support / Alimony
2. Prenuptial Agreements and the Amount of Support
3. Tax Treatment Of Child Support And Alimony

No Fault Divorce software from Standard Legal contains all of the background information, detailed instructions and fill-in-the-blank legal forms necessary to prepare and file an uncontested divorce — commonly known as a “No Fault Divorce”, “Uncontested Divorce” or a “Dissolution.”

If there are no children involved in your marriage and if you and your spouse are agreeable to the split of assets and other financial issues, then you can file for a “No Fault Divorce” and avoid the expense of a lawyer.

Download Divorce Software
(from Standard Legal, $49.95)

The forms provide by Standard Legal are the most up-to-date, legally accurate, and easiest-to-use in the industry. Some other providers sell forms that are poorly formatted, out of date, or simply filled with inaccurate instructions. But the following 13 points explain why this divorce software is the best you can buy:

Qualified Attorney Authors:

All of the legal forms within each Standard Legal Software product are carefully researched and written by a highly-qualified, experienced, licensed attorney.

Up-to-Date Legal Content:

All of the content and instructions are updated any time a state or federal law, statute or administrative requirement changes. Our legal forms content is in constant review.

Step-by-Step Instructions:

The comprehensive instructions are written for use by ordinary, everyday people! If you can answer clear, specific questions and follow written instructions, you can complete these forms. The format of this software truly is “fill-in-the-blank”.

Get Started Immediately:

Use the software immediately after purchase! Get encrypted links to the software download server and password-protected online access within seconds after the transaction. Links are provided both on-screen and in an email confirmation.

Easily Downloadable Forms:

Standard Legal’s forms can be downloaded in total within one Zip file, or individually from the online forms server! No .exe file installation required. Both versions are identical in content and functionality, and both are included as part of the purchase price.

Works With Any Computer:

Mac or PC, Microsoft Word or a simple text editor, dial-up connection or a T-1 line — no matter what type of system you have, you can use Standard Legal Software. True cross-platform, multi-program legal forms options.

Free Technical Support:

The support staff at the Standard Legal Network is trained to help its clients download and access the software effectively. While we cannot provide legal advice to you, our staff will gladly assist you by email in obtaining and using the forms.

Secure Payment Processing:

Feel confident in making an online purchase, as we provide 128-bit encryption of your transaction data and personal information using the latest payment technologies from Authorize.net!

No Shipping Fees:

Because the products sold by Standard Legal are provided in downloadable software format, there are no fees for handling and shipping a printed package of paper. Print out only the forms that you need!

Free Attorney Referral:

All customers gain free access to our attorney referral site. If you decide that handling a situation yourself might not be the way to go, you can log on to our attorney referral site and find a qualified attorney to help you with your case. No charge to post your case!

Legal & Valid in All States:

The forms provided by Standard Legal are valid throughout the USA. Whenever necessary, state-specific language or forms are provided to cover all districts and territories:

Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | Delaware | Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire | New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island | South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennessee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | Washington D.C. | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming | U.S. Territories

Save Money on Legal Fees:

Bottom line, when you use forms from Standard Legal, you can quickly and easily create the same legal documents for which a local attorney would charge hundreds — or even thousands — of dollars. The net result can be a very substantial savings!

100% Money Back Guarantee:

Standard Legal guarantees that all of the documents provided within our software will be acceptable to the appropriate court or government agency, and will refund 100% of the purchase price should a document not be accepted due to our error.

There are some specific requirements for using the forms contained in this No Fault Divorce software:

• First, both the husband and wife must agree on ALL of the issues surrounding property division and spousal support (if applicable);
• Second, the husband and wife must live separate and apart for a period of time as required by state law (see STATE DIVORCE REQUIREMENTS for details);
• Third, the signature of each spouse is REQUIRED on all of the documents to be filed with the court, showing that each spouse consents to the divorce and its terms;
• Fourth (and somewhat obviously), the whereabouts of each spouse must be known, as both persons must consent to the terms of the divorce and must be willing to sign the documents. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR ONE PERSON TO FILE A NO-FAULT DIVORCE ON BEHALF OF BOTH PARTIES, since full agreement and cooperation of both persons is required!

DO NOT BUY OR USE THIS SOFTWARE IF ALL OF THE ABOVE CONDITIONS CANNOT BE MET! If total agreement cannot be reached by both persons involved on ALL of the issues related to ending the marriage, then a “no fault” divorce cannot be completed and legal representation should be sought.

Related posts:

1. Divorce Forms
2. Is A Do-It-Yourself Divorce Right For You?
3. The Divorce Process

While some divorces result in lengthy and sometimes ugly court battles, many divorces are actually quite civil and even mutually sought. These are often referred to as “agreed” or “uncontested” divorces, meaning that both sides have come to terms and just need a court to sign off, approving the agreement and granting the dissolution.

In addition, an uncontested divorce can also refer to cases where one of the spouses does not raise any objections. This can mean that the spouse agrees with the terms as mentioned above but it can also include cases where the spouse simply does not respond to the subpoena either because they can no longer be found (see “Missing Spouse Divorce” for more) or just because they have no interest in fighting the divorce. In the last example, the uncontested divorce would likely result in a default judgment for the petitioner.

Many uncontested and agreed divorces are relatively simple and don’t involve complex property settlements. For this reason, they can often be filed without hiring an attorney by using one of the many do-it-yourself divorce forms.

Related posts:

1. How Do I File for Divorce if My Spouse is Missing?
2. The Divorce Process
3. Is A Do-It-Yourself Divorce Right For You?

When a couple chooses to marry, any property they acquire after the wedding is considered to be part of the marital estate, with a a few exceptions. If the parties divorce, the accumulation of marital property ceases and any property acquired thereafter is considered to be separate property.

But what happens when the couple is separated? Is the property community or separate?

That will all depend upon the type of separation you have and the laws of your state but generally speaking, any property acquired during a legal separation is considered to be separate property and not subject to the marital estate.This “separate” status would remain true for the property in question after the parties reconciled as well since the property was acquired while the marriage was legally “suspended”.

However, it should be noted that separate property can become marital property through a process called “commingling “. Essentially, this occurs when separate property is mixed with or used to acquire marital property and the distinct separate ownership becomes too muddled to sort out.

In the event that you are legally separated and considering reconcilation with your spouse, you may also want to consider drafting a post-nuptial agreement to identify your separate property acquired during the separation and protect it from becoming part of the marital estate should the reconcilation not work out.

A post-nuptial agreement can be an inexpensive alternative to battling it out in court later and don’t require an attorney to create. Click here to learn more about drafting your own post-nuptial agreement .

Related posts:

1. Property Acquired After A Separation
2. What is Marital and Non-Marital Property?
3. Can Separate Property Become Community Property?

Whether the issue of fault will play a part in your alimony award depends solely upon the laws of your state.

Many people assume that a “no-fault” divorce also means that fault will not be a factor in deciding alimony however, this is not always the case. While some no-fault states do apply the “blameless” process to alimony proceedings in addition to the divorce itself, other no-fault states will in fact, consider misconduct when determining alimony, even if the divorce was based upon a mutual “no-fault” agreement between the spouses.

The same is true of states offering at-fault grounds. Some may consider misconduct during alimony decisions while others will not, regardless of the misconduct in question.

Typically, most states also rely on other factors as well, such as current incomes of the parties, the ability to sustain your current standard of living, future earning potential, current expenses such as college tuition for a full-time student or a mortgage payment and of course, any previous arrangements that may have been made in a pre-nuptial agreement.

Related posts:

1. What is No Fault and At Fault Divorce?
2. Spousal Support / Alimony
3. Types of Alimony

When a couple decides to divorce, there are laws to define the process and protect their rights. But what happens when the couple is gay?

Most state laws don’t recognize legal unions between gay and lesbian couples and as a result, there are no laws to define a divorce either.

But in The Complete Gay Divorce, Brette McWhorter Sember shows you how to make the legal system work, even when you’re ending a non-legalized union.

Divorce is a big business in the United States. There are thousands of divorce attorneys, huge state systems set up to deal with the large volume of cases, marriage therapists and more books than you can count about divorce. Yet somehow, gay and lesbian couples have been forgotten in all of this.

At 203 pages (excluding supplemental material), The Complete Gay Divorce looks to be a quick read but don’t let its size fool you: inside, you’ll find that its full of invaluable information.

How do you divide property and debts? What are your rights when children are involved? And what’s the difference between a legal parent and an emotional parent? These are just a few of the questions that a divorcing gay couple will face. Where state laws provide the answers for heterosexual couples, gay and lesbian couples seem to be left on their own. But the truth is, there are answers to your questions – even legal resources to help you through the process and fortunately, Semper takes you through them all.

In The Complete Gay Divorce, you will:

• Identify the signs of a struggling relationship and make an informed decision about how to end it
• Learn how to negotiate the end of your relationship without a lengthy court battle
• Discover how to create a spousal support plan that works for both of you
• Get advice about child support and visitation when you’re not the legal parent

Sember’s straightforward manner gives you all the information you need to start moving forward from a breakup. From legal and financial concerns to the emotional drain from ending a relationship, The Complete Gay Divorce addresses all the issues that a gay or lesbian couple might face during a breakup or divorce.

When your relationship ends,” she writes, “it’s a divorce whether or not your state recognizes it. When you are married in your hearts, you go through the same emotional steps a couple married in the eyes of the law goes through. The label for what you’re going through doesn’t change the impact is has on your personal life.”

In addition, you’ll also find support information, websites and state specific information, makingThe Complete Gay Divorce a rare valuable resource for gay and lesbian couples enduring a separation – or “divorce.”

Related posts:

1. Book Review: The Complete Adoption Book
2. Book Review: The Complete Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings
3. Book Review: The Complete Guide to Protecting Your Financial Security When Getting A Divorce

Although there are still a good number of couples who march right into court without a second thought, more and more divorcing couples are turning to mediation and collaborative divorce processes as an alternative.

Why?

There are actually several reasons that divorce mediation could be a good choice for you. The most important of these is that, in mediation, you have an unbiased third party who is trained and willing to walk the two of you through your divorce as painlessly as possible.

Granted, no divorce is easy and you’ll still have some adjustments you’ll have to make but, with the right mediator, you can avoid or at least lessen many of the painful aspects traditionally associated with divorce.

Less Stress

Because the primary goal of mediation is to help you and your ex come to amicable terms, the environment is one of negotiation rather than confrontation. As a result, there’s (hopefully) less animosity and less stress. After all, you’re now working together to find a reasonable resolution instead of attacking each other trying to get the upper hand. Mediation is also cheaper than going to trial, so your pocketbook will be less stressed as well.

Happier Parents Means Happier Kids

The less stressed-out you are, the less stressed-out your kids will be as well. Mediation benefits everyone in your family, not just the two who are actually doing the mediating. By coming together as a team, you can work out a solid parenting agreement that minimizes the disruption to the family unit when it comes to spending time with your kids. (For more, read about the effects of divorce on children.)

The Skeletons Stay Hidden

Regardless of how it may appear in open divorce court, no one really wants to air their laundry in front of strangers. Mediation helps you keep you private life private by focusing on moving forward in a positive manner instead of digging up all the old dirt you might have on each other. Forget about who’s at fault – focus instead on how to move on.

Higher Satisfaction Rate

In a traditional divorce, your fate and the fate of your ex (and even your children) is left up to the judge. That’s not always the best solution and there’s a good chance that you’ll both walk away feeling less-than-satisfied. In mediation, however, the divorce agreement is the result of negotiations between you and your spouse, the very two people who have the most knowledge and understanding about what it would take to create an amicable agreement. Is it any wonder then that mediations have a higher success rate and a lower chance of re-litigation than traditional divorces?

You may also want to read this book on mediation and collaborative divorce to decide if a divorce alternative is right for you.

Related posts:

1. Mediation
2. Book Review: Divorce Without Court: A Guide to Mediation & Collaborative Divorce
3. Mediation and Collaborative Divorce

While collaborative divorce has good success rates, there will often still be times when couples just can’t agree on something. Does this mean you’ll have to give up on a collaborative divorce as an option?

Not necessarily. If couples are having a difficult time agreeing to anything then, yes, you may end up having to secure new attorneys (you can’t use the same attorney in a collaborative situation as in a contested situation) and go forward with litigation. However, depending upon the issue in question and the overall state of your negotiations so far, you may be able to submit a single or limited issue for third party consideration by a judge.

The key is whether or not this type of move would disrupt the collaborative process. Sometimes, for example, couples do really well in collaborative divorce as a whole but struggle with just one or two issues. If the couple can agree to allow a judge to rule on these specific issues without letting the ruling affect the rest of the collaborative negotiations, then it is very possible to allow the judge to decide just a particular issue and incorporate that decision into the collaborative agreement.

For this to work, both parties must agree that submitting an issue to a judge will not impede the collaborative process and they must also agree to abide by the judge’s ruling.

For more information on collaborative divorce and mediation, you may want to check out Katherine Stoner’s book on the subject, Divorce Without Court: A Guide to Mediation & Collaborative Divorce.

Related posts:

1. 5 Reasons Collaborative Divorce Might Work For You
2. How Can I Be Sure My Partner Won't Hide Assets in a Collaborative Divorce?
3. Collaborative Divorce