You hear your friends joke about it. You may take a ribbing at your bachelor/bachelorette party. Your parents may even ask about it in secret. It seems to be on everyone’s mind. The unspoken words that are on most engaged couples minds: “Prenuptial Agreement”. *GASP*

Often called a “pre-nup”, most people have a preconceived notion of what a prenuptial agreement is. It has the reputation of being a marriage killer. Many questions arise such as “Don’t they trust each other”? Or statements like, “Well that marriage won’t last—they got a pre-nup”. This is an entirely outdated way of thinking. There are many purposes of a prenuptial contract that this article will discuss.

Definitive Statistics?

We have all heard the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Are these statistics true? Where are these stats coming from? Is marriage not taken serious in this day and age? The bottom line is….it depends on many factors–sources of information, the regional area you reside in, economic situations, and many other circumstances. You can find an enormous amount of different statistics on any of these questions, but a better question would be “How many of these couples have a prenuptial agreement in place”? Or “How many of these couples planned for asset security with a prenuptial agreement”?

Purposes and Protections

There are many advantages for entering into a prenuptial contract before a marriage ceremony. The first reason is for the simple basis that couples do not want the law to dictate who gets what if the marriage dissolves. People want to feel in control of their personal assets as well as the splitting of their finances. A properly executed prenuptial agreement can safeguard assets, provide security to loved ones, keep a business in the family, or simplify divorce proceedings. Nowadays it is considered smart planning to have a sound pre-marriage agreement in place. This document should be as important as your Will, Power of Attorney, or any other legal document.

Second, a prenuptial agreement usually makes sense if a person remarries. Legal and monetary concerns are often very different than in one’s first marriage. You may have children from a previous marriage, support obligations, and own a home or other significant assets. In the event that something happens to you a signed pre-marriage agreement can make sure all assets are divided according to your requests.

Third, it can avoid Michigan’s Inheritance laws. Michigan law provides a spouse certain rights that can override the terms of a will. For example, the surviving spouse has an absolute right to elect against a will that does not provide for him or her and receive instead approximately one-fourth of the deceased spouse’s estate. These laws can get tricky, but an experienced Family Law attorney can help guide you through.

Fourth, if the person you are about to marry has substantial debt; it can protect you from the new spouse’s previous debt if the marriage falls apart. Many times a court does not determine which party owes what obligations when divorce proceedings occur. A proper prenuptial agreement can resolve these issues before they begin.

Finally, the most important reason for a prenuptial agreement may be to avoid alienating your children with a messy divorce. Many times parents, intentionally or not, end up using their children as leverage against each other. A sound agreement can help eliminate the factors involved with legal custody issues concerning children. Other grounds for a pre-nup include protecting earning potential or current earnings, ownership of a business, and saving legal costs. Plachta, Murphy & Associates always recommends counseling as an alternative to divorce. We do recognize, however, that some marriages ultimately dissolve and having a prenuptial agreement can help alleviate the stress that comes with this particular life transition.

Pre-nups are for Millionaires!

Wrong! Prenuptial agreements are for EVERYDAY people. They may be important to integrate into your estate plan. Family treasures or heirlooms that are near and dear to someone’s heart should stay in the correct family. Increasingly, middle class couples looking to start their life planning for their future have a reliable agreement in place as one of their important legal documents.

Caution Ahead?

The question on most people’s mind is “How do I approach my partner without coming off as someone who doesn’t think our marriage will last”? These are very cautious waters to navigate. Chances are your partner is thinking the very same thing. It is smart planning to have safeguards in place. Start talking about putting a prenuptial agreement in place as soon as wedding plans start to form. Being open and honest up front makes this touchy subject entirely manageable to not only approach, but get the ball rolling as well. Moreover, Plachta, Murphy & Associates can provide you with a checklist you may want to use as a discussion starter.

According to Family Law attorney Miles J. Murphy,

“Every effort should be made beforehand to prepare for a long lasting marriage, and that includes establishing mutually satisfactory rights regarding assets and debts to avoid future problems”.

Miles J. Murphy III, with the law firm of Plachta, Murphy & Associates, P.C. located in Grand Rapids, Michigan has more than 20 years of Family Law experience. He represents individuals and families in court throughout West Michigan. He is also a former member of the Kent County Family and Children’s Coordinating Council. Please feel free to visit us at www.pmalawpc.com, contact Miles directly at mmurphy@pmalawpc.com, or call 616-458-3994.

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2. Prenuptial Agreements and the Amount of Support
3. Postmarital Agreements

Statutes: In Arizona, Family Law is actually called “Marital and Domestic Relations” (Title 25 of the Arizona Legislature). Title 25, Chapter 1 is where you can find the Arizona Marriage Code and all relevant sections, which describe in detail the laws that affect marriage in Arizona: azleg.gov

• Arizona Uniform Premarital Agreement Act (Title 25, Chapter 2, Article 1): azleg.gov

Also See: Arizona Divorce Laws

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After you have changed your name legally with the court, you’ll also want to contact the Social Security Administration (SSA) to request a name change form – for tax purposes (because the name you use on your tax return should match the name on your social security card).

Once you submit the name change form to the SSA, they will issue a new social security card with your correct, legal name. They will also notify the IRS for future tax filings.

If you haven’t already done so, you’ll also want to make sure that you change your name on any other legal documents, such as your bank accounts, credit card accounts, mortgage/property deed and driver’s license.

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Most states allow a little flexibility in determining who can legally conduct a marriage ceremony. This allows individuals to choose an official that best matches their personal beliefs and needs. In general, a wedding is considered legal if the official is certified by the state to perform such ceremonies.

This certification is usually extended to legal officials such as judges, magistrates and justices of the peace as well as religious leaders such as ministers, rabbis and priests. Many states also allow the county clerk and/or mayor to perform a wedding ceremony as well.

To locate an authorized official, couples may start by asking their local clergy, even if the couple doesn’t belong to a specific church. Many clergy members are willing to perform wedding ceremonies for parties outside of their congregation however, the ceremony will be done in accordance with the clergy’s specific religious affiliation so try to get as close as you can to your personal beliefs.

Couples that are not religious or that follow a non-traditional belief system (pagan, spirituality, etc.) may have difficulty finding a clergy member willing to perform the ceremony, and may prefer to have a legal official officiate their wedding. In this instance, couples are advised to contact their local government for help in finding a suitable alternative. Ceremonies performed by parties not certified by the state will be considered invalid .

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With the recent changes in some states regarding same-sex marriage, many gay and lesbian couples are hoping that these new laws also mean some new protections for their spousal rights.

The truth is, though, there is still no federal recognition for gay and lesbian spouses. Your only recognition or protection will come from the laws of your state and, because these laws differ so much, there is no answer that can be applied nationwide.

For example, while New Jersey does not have laws that specifically legalize same-sex marriage, it does offer civil unions that provide state-level spousal rights. Other states such as South Dakota, Texas andOklahoma provide no rights at all for same-sex couples and do not recognize any form of legal union among gay and lesbian couples. Still other states have not enacted laws of their own to address the issue but they do recognize same-sex marriages that were considered to be legal in the state they were performed.

This raises some serious questions for same-sex couples. Without protective laws in place, they cannot be guaranteed the normal rights and benefits enjoyed by heterosexual couples. The right to make medical decisions for their spouse, for example, or the right to inherit if the spouse should die – these are important life issues that need to be addressed and if the state has not provided laws to establish these protections, then the gay and lesbian couples must do it themselves.

The first step in making sure that you and your spouse are adequately protected is to know the laws of your state. Find out if your state recognizes same-sex marriage and, if it doesn’t, dig a little deeper to determine if it provides for alternate types of unions such as domestic partnerships and/or civil unions. Currently, only a few states allow same sex marriages – though the law in this area is constantly evolving.

Additionally, you’ll want to know what types of rights accompany these unions and what laws are in place to ensure that you receive them.

You may also want to read this book on gay and lesbian medical rights as well as this book on gay and lesbian divorce for further assistance in this area.

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Currently, there are only a handful of states that recognize legal marriage between same-sex couples.

In those states that do allow legal same-sex marriage, same sex couples are entitled to obtain a civil marriage, a union that subsequently entitles them to all the rights and benefits that heterosexual married couples receive from the state, including the right to medical decision-making for partners as well as dissolution procedures akin to a traditional divorce.

However, this is where the rights and benefits end. Federal law does not recognize same sex marriage and in fact, indirectly prohibits it through the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). The Act also relieves state governments from honoring a same sex marriage deemed legal in another state.

This means that while you may legally obtain a same sex marriage in some states, the federal government will not honor it. Same sex married couples will not have access to any of the federal benefits extended to heterosexual married couples. This includes joint tax exemptions and credits as well as any spousal claims to governmental programs such as veteran benefits and social security.

In addition, DOMA also allows other states to ignore your legally married status so if you were to move to a state that did not recognize same sex marriages, the state government is not required to honor yours even though you participated in a legal marriage ceremony.

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Traditionally, marriage to a U.S. citizen enabled foreign spouses to petition for permanent legal residence in the United States. This benefit is not extended to lesbian or gay couples as immigration laws are regulated by the federal government.

Under federal law, specifically the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a legal marriage is defined as a union between one man and one woman, excluding all forms of same sex marriages. This means that any rights and benefits that would normally be extended to heterosexual married couples under federal law are not afforded to couples of the same sex.

Because of this, the federal government, and thus federal immigration law, would not recognize a same sex marriage as a legal union, regardless of who performed the ceremony and where the wedding was held. As a result, the Department of Homeland Security, Citizenship and Immigration Services would not allow the foreign spouse to petition for residency on the basis of same sex marriage to a U.S. citizen.

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1. Does The Federal Government Have to Honor Legal Same Sex Marriages?
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While most states still prohibit same sex marriage, a few states do recognize same sex marriages as legal unions.

The court rulings and legislation which allow same sex marriages in those states do not, however, require religious organizations to recognize same-sex marriages or perform the ceremonies as all religions have the right to establish their own requirements for what constitutes a religious marriage.

States that allow same sex marriages have simply established the right to marry under civil law. This marriage can be performed by a Justice of the Peace, Judge or other civil official depending on state law. That said, there are a number of churches that have opened their arms to the gay community and are performing traditional weddings in the church for same sex couples. A marriage performed by such a clergy member would be considered legal as well.

See The Complete Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings for more information on same sex wedding ceremonies.

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With most states still prohibiting traditional, legally-recognized marriages for same sex couples, you might think that a private, “unofficial” ceremony is the only option left.

But you’d be wrong.

In The Complete Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings, K.C. David and the experts at GayWeddings.com take you through all of the many aspects of planning a full-blown event, complete with attendants, flowers and even registering for your wedding gifts.

This unique book provides a detailed comparison of the various legal forms of same-sex marriages such as civil unions and domestic partnerships while explaining the steps you need to take to protect your rights and assets as a formal couple.

You’ll also find tips for locating gay-friendly vendors, such as florists, caterers and clergy as well as newspapers that run same-sex announcements. Learn the best ways to notify friends and family of your wedding and use the vow-writing exercises to craft your own unique service.

“No matter what anyone says, we all do have the right to believe in the dream that we can have a life partner, a marriage and even kids if we with all of that said… let’s plan a wedding!”choose to have them,” says David. “So, with all of that said… let’s plan a wedding!”

And plan you will.

The Complete Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings walks you through the process step-by-step from the engagement to the honeymoon. Learn about everything from legal planning issues to seating arrangements,

including:

• How to choose the perfect location from a wide selection of gay-friendly venues
• How to create your own “wedding style” to make your ceremony truly yours
• Sample menus that will please even the most finicky eaters
• A budget worksheet to make sure you’ve got money left for the honeymoon
• Tips for notifying friends and how to deal with hesitant guests

Guest lists, invitations, dress or tux? It’s all in this invaluable book. Complete with music ideas, traditional wedding customs and traditions as well as a handy wedding checklist and a nice collection of resources and recipes, The Complete Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings is a must for any same-sex couple wanting to make their wedding a day to remember.

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Although there are a few states that have recently begun to recognize same-sex marriages, most do not (see: Where is Gay Marriage Legal?). Of those states that don’t however, some do recognize domestic partnerships, including those partnerships formed in other states. This means that while your marriage may be considered legal in your current state, other states may or may not respect the marriage even if you participated in a traditional wedding ceremony.

Because legal rights and benefits are so questionable for same-sex couples under the current state of the law, it may make sense for you to obtain a domestic partnership even if you are legally married in a state that recognizes same sex marriages. The domestic partnership could provide protection of your rights as a couple should you decide to move to or visit a state that recognizes domestic partnerships but not same sex marriages.

In addition, because the laws surrounding same sex marriages are constantly changing, it certainly doesn’t hurt to have as much protection in place as possible.

This would be especially true in the event of a divorce/separation or death of one of the spouses as these are new and unchartered legal territories without solid rules and regulations in place.

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1. Domestic Partnership
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