Do I still have to pay child support while the kids are visiting me? 18

About: Child Support

Custody’s Affect on Your Child Support Obligations

Typically, child support payments are fixed amounts (with the exception of COLA adjustments and special modifications) that do not change, regardless of which parent currently has custody of the child.

This is because child support is intended to help pay for the basic living expenses, such as rent, utilities, clothing, insurance and the like, all of which remain the same even when the child is visiting the non-custodial parent.

That said, there are instances where the parties have agreed to vary the amounts during longer visitation periods such as summer break and extended vacations since the day-to-day expenses such as food and entertainment will shift from the custodial parent to the non-custodial parent during these visits.

This is strictly done on a case by case basis and must be approved by the court, either as a part of your original divorce decree or as a later modification of the decree. If you wish to modify your child support agreement in this manner, you should consult your attorney and also talk to your ex-spouse to see if the two of you can come to an agreement regarding the change. You’ll also likely need to show that the visits in question are truly “extended” and not just a few days here and there.

This type of modification must be granted by the court so you’ll need to schedule a new hearing and get the judge to sign off on your amendment. An agreement between you and your ex-spouse alone is not sufficient to allow you to decrease your child support payments, however most judges will grant this type of request when both parties are in agreement.


  • dana

    My son has been in a juvenile home for the last 5 yrs. Before that is paternal grandmother on moms side had custody of him. Question is: why am I still currently paying child support to her if my son hasnt been in her care for 5 yrs. He has been in a juvenile home in our state of CT and also in MA. The state takes my income tax return every year for what is considered ” back child support” . I also get a notice stating my balance on child support once my income tax is taken, but come the following year, my remaining balance has gone up drastically ( no less than about 5k). I currently pay child support out of my paycheck weekly for the amount of $91.00, which includes current and back pay. I am currently seeking modification, and was told I need to take his mom ( who doesnt have custody to my knowledge) to court for a modification because she is the one who filed a order against me years ago. I dont understand how to the following:
    — why my balance goes up instead of down after paying current and withholding my income tax check
    –also, why I have to take his mom to court if she isnt the last person who had custody of him,
    –, is it legal for me to keep paying for child support if he is currently in a juvenile home,
    — and lastly, if our sons mom has no custody of him, why am I the only one paying support and not her also.
    thank you for your time!

  • matthew stewart

    i was laid off, cant find another job yet, just living on unemployment, my child support payment was 500.00 a month. no way i can pay that now. had an understanding with my ex but now she’s in jail and my daughter is in foster care. they wont let me have her until they are sure she will be safe and taken care of. who knows when THEY will determine that. i live out of state (about 800 miles one way) and they want me to come there and stay for a while to she her until they thinks its ok. I told them i have no money and cant come there at all right now. so now they are trying to enforce my child support order of 500 knowing i don’t have money and they tell me to get a lawyer to modify the order if i cant pay it, but of course i looked and that cost a lot of money. lowest estimate i got was 2000. what i am suppose to do?

  • Gbrown

    It amazes me that non of you three men show concern for the child, all it is, is money who cares get jobs and take care of you child. Quit acting like lil shitheads and care for them.!!!

    • exploited father

      It is ok for a man to ask questions, and express concerns because he is being EXPLOITED financially. I know because I pay over $600 a month and my son never has clothes or toys (I always have to buy both for him) and he comes and stays with me for the summer as long as “You keep paying me the same amount of child support or I won’t let him go” as my ex says. The court won’t modify the order for visitation, or support for summer either, and I don’t owe a dime in back pay support. There are always two sides to each individual case, so don’t pass judgement on people that you really know nothing about and quit being be a biased bitch.

    • Robert

      Gbrown…Go Eff yourself. You obviously have never been in a situation where the child suppor inhibits your ability to live and survive. Some of these women just get knocked up to get child support. It is an abbuse and the current system punishes the good guys. Ged a clue dude…If I could see you I would punch you right in that stupid face of yours right now.

    • decentdad

      Gbrown, I pay $1300 per month for two boys 3 and 6 years old. If you have children, then you know that no matter what, the father loves their children and would never want them to suffer. It bothers me when I see comments like this about men, who are barely making it because the woman is taking half their pay. Meanwhile my ex is living in a different state and driving a nice car, living in a nice house. If I had it my way, my kids would live with me, and I wouldn’t even ask for child support. The man always gets screwed in child support. The woman gets to see the kids all the time and gets extra cash to blow on drinking, cigarettes, car payments, ETC…

  • The Ex-Wife

    My ex-husband and I have 50/50 joint shared time with our two children. He pays child support and in the last 6 months has quit paying for half of their incidental expenses because he says that is what he pays child support for. I am looking for legal code to give to him showing that he is still responsible for 1/2 of their expenses (baseball, dance, school supplies, etc.). HELP!!

    • Single mom

      He’s not responsible for ANYTHING other than child support. If he agrees to pay for part of other things, that is his decision.

  • Michele Kettl

    I have full custody of our daughter. This month the dad has had her for 16 days. 14 of those days were consecutive. She did come and visit but did not sleep over at that time. I still bought her clothes for school and enrolled her in high school and payed her fees. i live in Utah. does my x still have to pay child support? How many days would she have to stay for him not to have to pay?

  • Mike

    My x asked me to pay half of summer camp for the kids, and I was not able to do so. We agreed verbally that I would take kids for the summer 10 weeks and would not pay child support for that time. She agreed, now summer is over and she had developed Amnesia. She has filed stating I owe her child support. I am a great father, I pay her child support, I take my kids on my weekends. How can one do this. My mistake is nothing was in writting. My question is can I fight this, I pay $1000.00 a month for my two kids.

  • matt

    I had a question, Do I still need to pay child support if my children will be with me for 2 months straight? I’m very confused about this situation and can’t find answers anywhere if I have to or not. Thank you in advance!

  • lion

    I am paying child support right now to my ex-partner by sending her a check every other week.My question is that do I still have to send my ex-partner a money(child support) even though I kept my child in two weeks or during no school?just quick question.Is it legal while you receiving child support and at the same you collected welfare?

  • Meli

    Now I have full custody of my child how do I get rid Of my childsupport case

  • Father of One

    I see alot of comments about “Im a single mother, ex pays child support but i wont more” or “Im a father that has to pay this much for child support, while she goes our drinks, or drives a new car” You know, if you dont have the funds to get a lawyer, defend yourself in court. Use the internet to search for the laws, etc. and file your own court papers. Thats what I do. Yes, I pay my child support. yes, my ex doesnt spend it on my son. Its spent on a new car, her bf, weekend get aways with bf, while my son stays with her parents instead of letting me have him for the weekend. I live 5 states away. I get to see my son Saturday from 9a thru Sun 3p. I drive, get hotel room, pay for exps. etc.. while she doesnt pay a dime. Yeah it pisses me off. But the woman that do that to us MEN, that want to be fathers, have to do something about it. Stand up for what you want. stop complaining about it on this site. when you could be using the time on Mico Office typing up Modifaction of Child Support and Vistiation Court papers.. If she wont meet you half way, get it court ordered she has too, or has to pay for half of your exp when you go there to pick up your child(ren). Its a Law she has to do that.. Main purpose of this comment… STOP USING HIM OR HER for NOT SEEING YOUR CHILD(ren) MAKE IT HAPPEN!

    PS. if you fathers out there didnt know this as well.. If for some reason you are behind on your Child Support, and she tells you, youre not getting your visitations until you start paying child support.. take her ass to court for Contempt of Court… its a LAW that even if youre behind on child support, you still get to keep your visitations…SO DONT USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE EITHER!

  • Single mom of 2

    I am the non custodial parent and I have been thinking about letting my sons father start taking him for a week every other week. He pays me Child Support and that is how I take care of our son. I don’t spend the money on all the crap that some I have read are claiming. If I do start allowing him to will I lose Child Support?

  • The_real_deal

    Ok the truth is going to hurt…..STOP spreading your legs ladies! Birth control is available in MANY forms! Yes I am a female, who is also a single parent…no c/s here….clearly the reason I only have one child. Girls please grow up and start acting like women. Yes, you can take care of children all by yourself….I believe the word for the day is JOB ladies….get one! You ladies come across like a bunch of cry-sacing biatches…love your children, and quit whining about how YOU don’t get c/s. If you can’t take care of yourself financially, then kids were clearly a very bad idea…if it means you have to go begging and bitching about money, then you clearly can not even take care of yourselves, and that is pathetic, considering you are an adult. Ladies didn’t you all remember the rule: what goes up must come down….get birth control….know the man you are having sex with. Honestly, will he be with you and any kids until you die? Can that be a guarantee? This is why, as mothers, you should be aware that you are stable enough to support yourself, and any kids that come from a relationship.

  • DAD of 3

    wow… ive read through alot of this stuff and ive looked for a good while to help myself. but ive come accross all these issues and read through them. for people that need to modify child support call the county clerk office and ask for the assitance number for legal help. or some kind of assistance from legal help in your state. ASK the Clerk at your local court house.file for a modification of child support if u cant pay it and keep living expenses. but u have to look up whats your states guidlines to modification of child support. there are req there must be meet. state of SC req u to have a 15% deffrence in income etc…

    for you dads that are not able to see your children because of her being a bitch and all… look at FATHER OF ONES statement. its true its the law for her to see your children. and if she refuses u then it could serousely be a change of sercumstances id believe. talk to legal advice, there are free legal help everywhere. most lawyers give free advice.. mite not be what u wanna here but to be honest id stick to your gender as well. alot of women have bad tast in there mouth about dead beats and stuff. SOOO dont go to women if ur a man and dont go to a man if ur a women. its just how it is.. not fair but what ever. women are now haveing children for the ability to take care them selfs. its really sad and most men are wolloing in there on crap they cant help themselfs. look stuff up! stop looking for someone to help u like father one sayed and Guess what GOOGLE IT! lol love google. for u guys that are having problems with your ex, most devorce decrees state in there DO NOT aggrivate your spouse, well telling u that u cant see your kids is a mental aggrevation… if she does it on a voice mail.. its open to public and free to use in court just make sure u file a pition to the courts.. as u are late on your support call the inforcement agency and see what arrangements can be made! JUST DONT IGNORE IT! i made that mistake….and that goes to my qs.

    my children are wrapped up into a DSS case and ive intervined and said NO! im taking them and careing for them… ive had them for about a year now and the case with DSS is still open.. where waiting to go to court. my EX wife and I did infact have a custody aggreement in KY we both dont reside there any more.. i did not have to pay through the courts.. and want have too, but she threatens me about paying her over 10k dallors for the back child support i shortove owe her.. the aggreement is in KY and we both are here. she hasnt had the kids since last july. i Have so ive ignored the aggreement in KY till now, ive called the freakin people in KY they said get a lawyer… err lawyers are sooo expensive. my qs is what form do i file to make it go away?

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