How Can I Have My Child Support Order Modified? 650

About: Child Support

Getting the Court to Change Your Child Support Obligations

Courts will modify child support orders for a number of reasons and these changes can be temporary or permanent.

In the event of a financial hardship suffered by the payer, for example, the court may agree to temporarily reduce or suspend payments until the payer is financially back on his or her feet.

Other reasons for a temporary reduction or increase could include a medical emergency, illness or injury of the child, a medical emergency, illness or injury of the paying parent or a financial setback suffered by the recipient parent.

Permanent modifications require a substantial change in long-term circumstances of either the paying parent, the recipient parent or the child. These could include:

  • A medical condition suffered by the child that requires a different level of care
  • A permanent disability suferred by either the recipient parent or the paying parent
  • A considerable change in income by either parent
  • Changes in child-rearing costs such as daycare increases or decreases or health insurance increases or decreases
  • Increase in the age of the child (i.e. it costs more to raise a 14 year old than a 3 year old)
  • An increase in the cost of living

The easiest way to get a modification is to discuss the changes with your ex-spouse and come to a new agreement. This makes it much easier to get your modification approved. (It still must be approved by the court and the judge will have to issue a new order for the modification to be legally enforceable.)

If your ex-spouse doesn’t agree to the change, you’ll need to file a motion to modify and request a hearing where you can ask a judge to rule on your proposed modification. You’ll need to be able to prove whatever circumstances you’re claiming to support the modification so be sure to bring statements from your doctor, copies of unemployment filings, etc. to support your side of the story.

If your modification request is based solely on cost of living increases, you may want to request that the judge include a cost of living adjustment (COLA) in your final order. Many judges do this anyway to eliminate the need for modification hearings based solely on an increase in the cost of living.

Some jurisdictions have a streamlined process for requesting a child support modification, making it simple to seek without the aid of an attorney. Others do not. You should ask a divorce lawyer in your area about the process in your particular state and locality.


  • Kim

    Can you cancel a request for a modification if your finicial situation is back on track? I had requested it when I was laid off and am now back at work and can pay.

    • Yes, you should contact the court where you filed your modification motion and inform them you want to withdraw your motion. You may have to make this request in person.

  • Terry

    I am in Pennsylvania. My child will be 18 in 7 months. Can I have my support order modified for a reduction.

    • I was in the same situation until i ran across this child support guide on the web that i used to not only get my child support lowered, but i also got temporary custody of my daughter, because of her moms lifestyle and all i can say is whoever wrote this book had to have gone through the same thing in order to understand how to help other fathers get help with child support and custody issues. here is the link to take a look good luck man.

      • may

        u men r all alike.when it comes to paying child support it is always to much.

        • scott

          Not true May.My ex is the one who ran out on my son and I and tried to take everything because she wanted to go out with her friends and do what she wanted when she wanted. She pays us child support and now quit her $40,000 job and filed to have child support stopped.They know she quit her job and she even told child services she quit because she doesn’t think she should pay child support. We have a hearing in october,what do you think is going to happen? All men are not doing what you say.

        • leaha

          That is far from the truth in alot of cases. My now husband has been ordered to pay 900.00 a month for his 3yr old daughter. He was the plaintiff in the case because she told him he couldn’t see her anyomore being with me. We searched to find her. Started visitation and to our dismay she has spent nothing on the child, but you better believe when we pick her up mom always has her weave done and shades on. I thing this whole generalizing men as not wanting to pay support has to stop. I believe a good mother should be able to support herself and her child without the support and should use the support for THE DIRRECT NEEDS of the the child.

        • julie

          and it is a lot when there is other things he has to take care of like bills and rent esp if you can’t live off what is left out of his check that they are dipping into. its as simple as that and if the women paid child support they would think its too much too as much as they want to get they hair and nails done and look good its never a problem of “too much” for the person getting it now is it??? NO! cause lets face it some parents don’t use the money on their child bills or groceries but to clearly just get back at the other parent for the break up or they are just greedy.

        • Melissa

          I’m a single mother of 3, I wouldn’t dream of going after their father for child support. Why would I do anything to make it harder for him to survive financially? He sees them all the time, if I need anything he is right there. It seems most of these women go after these men out of spite. Get over it. When my kids are with their dad, I want him to have money to enjoy his time with them. Way way too many lousy women out there. The laws need to be more strict to prevent spite child support.

        • If you think men are bad, you should hear women howl when they have to pay child support!

        • ernie

          The statement (u men). Have you ever thought that the mother actually is the problem. They spend money on themselves and not the child. No consideration for the other parents family. Selfish greed to the point of you don’t deserve a child. Your blessing shouldve been ripped from you and given to tje father. Bet it would be too much for u to pay . Or are you a stsy at home loser leach

        • Jerald

          May that’s just not true. I used to be a stay at home Dad and loved it every single day. I took time off work to do it while my then-wife was also recuperating from giving birth. We both eventually went back to work but she cheated on me and claimed I was an unfit parent, and later said I was on drugs!. Then divorced me and took my daughter, put me on child support, and became a full on lesbian all within about 2 years time. Now my daughter is screwed in the head and guess what? I pay my child support regardless of how crazy her mom is. I even became homeless at one point after she took everything, lived out of my car and begged for money just to eat while she enjoyed the good life. Is that fair? Yeah to women like you thats what all men like me deserve I guess.

        • Lee907

          May… I like what Jerarld said. I work three jobs myself security barback Friday and Saturday nights Monday to Friday im a laborer/ Diesel aprentice.So up at 5am at work by 6am after 8*10hours I spend six hours hours washing garbage trucks. in Alaska we get payied good. They take 40% of check only 2nits. They garnish $1989.52 from my main job. Plus medical and dental. my wash job3-4 days aweek boom 40% gone. I cant save No money and im living wth me youner sister and her family.

        • Jimm

          I’m pretty sure it IS too high though when you have to pay more than you make. If you make $100 and they charge you $175, I’m sorry, but that IS too high. Seems there are just so many spiteful parents who don’t care WHAT the other parent makes, as long as they get a check. I don’t know how to tell you this, but when someone winds up homeless because the state is taking well over 100% of their income, employers tend to think it makes the company look bad when they are employing homeless people…and when they get let go, then there is NO money coming in for your support. Some people just need to not only think of themselves. Some people bust their asses to try to support their children, and the ex could care less if the other parent is out on the streets and starving as long as they keep paying every cent they make.

  • frank anderson jr.

    im a divorced father of 2 children,i have 3 support orders currently coming out of my payroll,a wage garnishment,and a salery deduction…..can the courts lower my child support payments

    • meagan

      my child support order for my 2 kids is a whopping $1000.00 a month I only make $1800-1900 a month I cant afford to live here anymore I may have to leave my job and move in with family til I get on my feet again. I already am on calendar for a C.S. Modification, will this fly in court? Or can the judge do a COLA for my current orders??

      • blue

        if you can not survive off that amount then you need a 2nd job. i get $323 a month for 2 kids and make $1200.00 a month income and make it just fine.

        • dadsrights

          Blue…you forget that often, a non-custodial parent may not be able to get a second job and still have time with the children. I work a salaried position at 50+ hours a week and still juggle 50-70 hours a week with my kids. A second job would make that nearly impossible. I, too, pay over $1000 per month in support alone. I don’t have money to spend on the kids when they are with me because it goes to them when they are with my ex. She can afford many more non-essentials than I can…ie trips to see family at current gas prices, hiring a pi to investigate ME when she was guilty of adultry, new clothing for herself while the kids get everything from Gma… How is there fairness in that? My guess is that you are a custodial parent. I don’t know your situation, so I wont judge…but try and remember that dads want time with the kids too…most of us feel like nothing more than a paycheck as it is. We are NOT just sperm donors, but are made to feel that way in many cases. Please, think outside the box. Most of us know that it IS about the kids…not the parents. As non-custodials, we want to be able to provide for our children when they ARE with us. Just contimplate, please?

        • jenean davis

          u said he need a 2nd job thats b.s childsupport is so screwed up and i am a woman saying this dont u know if he get another job his payments would be rasied so that mean his problem is not solvedhe is just more tired because he is working more with no reward

        • Jason

          If u get a 2nd job, she will come after u for even more money because you will make more

      • MJ

        My ex is a sub-contractor who works for his brother – makes it very easy to claim (or should I say NOT claim) his actual income. I know what contracts his brother handles – including a company that uses paint with real gold in it – and it is estimated that he makes a minimum of $75K. We went to mediation in June 2006 (he chose drugs and alcohol over his family and left the kids and me in March 2002 and never paid support) and they decided since I was working I couldn’t get alimony (I was a homemaker when he left…) and used my highest amount of money (varied OT) and his 2005 tax return when he had just started his business. They concluded I should get $424 a month for TWO kids and he should pay anything that Medicaid wouldn’t cover. Of course they never enforced that – I just paid $350 for a boot cast when my daughter fractured her foot. I became disabled in 2009 and by the spring of 2010 I could not work at all. I applied for a court review of the child support amount – which in VA you can do every 3 years anyway. It took from April 2010 until June 2011 to get a “change of venue” through the courts – his girfriend (enabler) bought a better house in a different county and I moved in with my parents. So, they had to move the county where the case is handled in. IT IS STILL HANDLED IN THE SAME OFFICE!!! Anyway, I just sent another letter and got a response that said they are working on a court date for the actual review. It is the end of October 2011. So far this process has taken a year and a half. Has anyone else encountered such a ridiculous delay and/or such unfairness? Is is hard enough for the kids to be rejected by their own father, but knowing he has all the latest expensive “toys” while we get clothes from Goodwill really makes me mad.

        • DESmoines

          Yes. These agencies delay delay delay delay. Bypass them and file a motion directly with the family court.

        • Jen

          You are not alone. My ex has not tried once in 10 years to contact his son.Our son is 10. I left him because he chose drugs over being a father. He only started paying support on a consistent basis this past year (which was great for my son…we actually bought cloths that were new) but my sperm donor has now injured himself and was able to get his support suspended for 6 months. He’s self employed. He was caught lying about his earnings but only because I was able to prove his earnings. We’ll start this process again with him lying about his earnings…I am permanently disabled due to heart problems and fibromyalgia, but hey..lets have another man shirk his responsibilities and not only never speak to his son, inquire about his son but now he doesnt have to pay a penny towards the care of his son and is probably having a high time, recovering from his injury. How is it that one parent that is permanently disabled is responsible financially but one parent who is temporarily disabled not have to pay a penny? I know there are men out there that actually care about their own flesh and blood but they are few and far between. Most live off women now instead of be and actual provider.

        • cvk

          Sure I have. Except the situation is reversed. My husband & I live in Tennessee, his ex & children live in Texas. Now please keep in mind he IS NOT A “DEADBEAT DAD”. This man hasn’t missed a lick since he has been paying child support & we pay for their medical insurance & 50% of anything that the insurance does not cover. We try to fly the boys up here for the summer (of course thats when she does not plan the whole summer for them). In the beginning he tried to have the child support modified according to Texas law which is 25% for two children and he was paying approximately 39%. They said they did not see a need for modification. We went through the Texas Attorney General’s child support office as we could not afford an attorney at that time. Several years have passed & he has one son who has graduated high school, he is 19, he is actually getting ready to graduate from basic training in the military, and will be 20 this year (2012) and we have hired an attorney, filed it with the courts, and he is still paing the same amount of child support. Because their mother decided she should hire an attorney and fight it out. We have done the math since the beginng. He has paid out almost $36,000.00 more than what the law says he should. Their mother’s response to that was ” Well I figured if they are going to give it to me, I might as well take it. They will figure it out later”. Now I am all about being fair and that the non-custodial parent should ALWAYS help in supporting their children (and not just financially). But these kinds of injustices make it is very difficult for my husband to spend much quality time with his children. So the only thing I can tell you is welcome to the world of red tape & BS. We will continue to fight for what is right, love his children, and always try to do the right thing. The one thing thats keeps us stable is God’s word. “The wealth of the wicked shall be stored up for the righteous”. We reap what we sow.

  • Christy Lewis

    I want to cancel receiving child support but my ex owes arrears, do i have to wait till the arrears are paid in full to cancel it?

    • You and your ex spouse can enter into an agreement that he will no longer make any child support payments, but will pay the arrears until they are paid in full. You must file your agreement/stipulation with the court. The agreement will not waive the arrears he owes and you can continue to collect on the arrears.

      • Jess

        I pay my ex $400 per month for our daugher who is 18 and still in school. She has since moved out and living with her boyfriend. I want my CS garnishments stopped but he WIFE is telling me no because I owe them 8K in medical expenses. By her own ommission she said they never persued the issue. Never sent me a bill or anything and now they want all the money. Wiil a judge make me pay them even after they are in violation of the court order and did not notify me when they were supposed to? They are going all the way back to 2004! And, I can’t afford to give my daughter much money and when she calls them for money they tell her no because I owe them 8K! Please adivse!

        • Debbie

          Are you currently paying for health insurance on your daughter? If so, in your divorcee decree does it state you and the mother are 50/50 responsilble for all major medical? Where all the procedures in your network? IF they weren’t you may not be responsilble. So you need to check on that. But the mother does have a right to collect half if it was. The court would look at it this way. You knew you daughter was having medical procedure, it would of been your responsilbility to ask for a bill or statement. What’s interesting is that she is no longer living with her mother and is 18 and living with someone. In a standard decree you are responsilble for support until the child reaches the age of 18 or graduates high school. Where she spends her time won’t really matter, unless she got married. Your child support is garnishment is mandated by your court order, not the mother. As far as going back 2004, that is really unlikely. Hope it works out for you. But it might be a good idea to spend a coulple hundred buck and talk with a attorney, one that deals with child support matters. I’m not a attorney just living through the child support nightmare with my husband!!

        • bone

          Medical expenses haved to be given to the other parent within 30 days of reciept. If that doesn’t happen this you are no longer responsible for the charges. They can’t just hold on to expenses until they build up to thousands of dollars.

        • Jennifer

          The answer is yes to the Judge ordering you to pay past medical bills. I have been through the same problem. Something to think about, there is a percentage of your child support that goes towards uninsured medical expenses annually. You should look into this.

          Good luck!

      • catrina

        my baby father took a dna and found out my son is not his. And to top it off he was the only one I sleep to my knowledge, but to find out later when I was telling this issue to my long time ex friend now. that he took advantage of me while I was sedated and that means the child is his and he will take care of him. Me and my baby father denied the DNA because we both knew it was just us. How do I go about appealing the court i am in houston texas and trying to get this messy straight… HELP!!!!

        • mike

          you can’t make a hoe a house wife, remember that one. next time you get sedated

        • James

          Mike why??? Things happen, no investigation no right to speak!

  • Trish

    My husband pays child support for 3 of his kids from his previous wife… we are having a hard time, almost lost our house now she is living in it. We have 3 kids now and another on the way, she got remarried and is wanting to quit her job. Is there anyway for his child support to be lowered? It would be different, but she doesn’t use the money on them, she mainly uses it on her. She looks like shes rich and they look homeless.. Please help???

    • cc

      I am in the same boat as u except every month AFTER he has paid his child support his ex is at the house talking about she need some more money cause her hair is looking whack and her nails need to be done…meanwhile the kids look like their shoes and clothes came from a garage sale and they always look dirty adn un cared for. We wentr back to court when my hubby got laid off from work to see if we could have his payments or agreement amended or suspended until we got back on our feet and they wouldnt do it. We were living from paycheck to paycheck then but when he got laid off we lost everything and now have to pay rediculous rent prices and get on food stamps just to make it by while she looks liek she is a million dollars driving a new car got a newer model home and always buying new shoes and clothes. I think that when child support is ordered it should be sent to the utility companies, and such to avoid them spending it on themselves instead of the kids. I get CS from my ex for 2 kids i out $200 in thier savings account for them and then i pay the light bill, water bill, and buy them groceries if i am out of stamps..if not the rest goes to their needs such as clothes and shoes it is turning cold here so i took the last bit of money i had and bought them winter coats since they outgrew the old ones.


      Before you go and have children with all these different women . you should know you are going to be paying for them.. you all like to say the mother is not spending the money on the kids.. hog wash.. if their living in the house it cost extra money for food electric , water, cloths, school, going to and from dr appointments any after school activites.. ect ect ect

      • Sherry

        I disagree. My husband is still paying for his daughter and she hasn’t lived with his ex wife for 8 months but the ex still spends that money and it is never spent on my step daughter. We have filed a motion to modify the support order but she keeps dragging her feet. The order terminates on it’s own next month but we are still out 8 months of money that went to her. Do you know how much 190 a week adds up to over an eight month period. Is there any way to get all that money back from his ex wife

      • julie

        i know plenty of ppl who doesn’t use child support money on bills and shit because they live with their parents so they don’t have to pay for ANYTHING and STILL doesn’t do for the kid so thats a bunch of B.S. and i think if you are getting FOOD stamps and cash assistance and you aork what they hell you need ALL the child support for and this is coming from a mother i just think child support is WEAK it shows u can not be a independent woman making enough money to provide for your child and jus as ,much as ppl want to tell a DAD if u cant pay for the child why make it tell the mother why open her damn legs just as well it takes two to tango i would NEVER put my childs father on child support because im strong enough. all that whining “its hard its hard” suck that shit up and keep it moving.

    • Travis

      A good easy to follow book to use in your situation is

    • sarah

      Child support is used for many things…not just the kids. The kids need food, water, shelter etc, so really you cant prove she is using it on herself. CS is for the support of the child/children whether its cloths for them or things already mentioned

      • Gary

        Are you even reading the post or are you just being a dull whitted idiot? The people said they have proof she is spending it on herself. Pay attention!

      • Jimm

        and what about when she TELLS you ” me and my parents spent it because we all needed cigarettes and they needed some weed”??

    • kids rights

      It is not your business as the ‘new’ wife to worry about what he pays to his children. What these fathers don’t think about is the custodial parent has the day to day expenses….and the new wife only cares about herself…you do not know what his ex is spending her money one and it is not your concern. If he cannot afford his first children then he should not be having another, putting his other children second. My husband up and abandoned two kids, doesn’t see them but keeps bringing me back to court to lower his support…all because of a new skank who is in our business…A father has rights..but a father has to remember to be a dad..not put kids last for his new found freedom…

      • Barb

        Really? Really? Listen, I have been BOTH a Divorced Single Mom who got very little Child Support, and now a StepMom. We pay an awful lot while she is able to stay home and live off of OUR income, and of course her Very Wealthy Orthodontist husband. It IS the New wife’s Business. I believe you may be a woman scorned? And I totally understand that too, but REALLY? Gee, I hope that IF you ever Bless someone with marriage again, you don’t have to deal with being the “NEW WIFE” and YOUR Money going to the EX who may be a “skank”.

      • Jamie

        I’m dealing wih the same thing right now and you have no idea what you’re talking about. His ex is out every night drinking and partying. And yes we have proof of that. While my step daughter is at home with her grandparents in their cigarette smoke filled house that you can’t even breathe in. None of her clothes ever fit her and then the mom goes on vacations all the time by herself. And then she lies about her income because she receives tips. A man is allowed to go and find happiness just as much as the baby mama is. Why shouldn’t he be able to have kids with someone else and be able to support them? You have no right to talk. Obviously you are a baby mama getting all the money from the ex.

      • Lisa

        Ya know what????? It IS the business of the new Woman……especially when the ex GF LIED, said she couldn’t have kids and 5 months after they break up, shows up pregnant. My Fiance NEVER even took a DNA test yet the court is taking over $300 of his money for some kid that was conceived out of a lie. He has never seen her and doesn’t want to since she is 3 and knows her step-Dad as her Daddy. My fiance received a letter from her claiming she wanted NOTHING from him but to sign over his rights and let the step-Dad adopt the child. Then the bitch filed for child support. We now have a baby boy…… CONCEIVED OUT OF LOVE……….not a lie. We struggle to raise him on the $600 left over after the child support is paid to his ex. My fiance is in school full time and can only work so much. I am going to keep trying till that damn support is lowered. It sucks………he doesn’t even know the damn kid. He was trapped. That should be illegal.

        • Sally

          @ Lisa, I understand your frustration, but do not let emotion cloud your perception. As adults, we are responsible for our own actions. Even if this woman lied, it is still your husband’s responsibility to use protection. It takes two to tango and, yes, he tangoed! If it wasn’t a child, it could’ve been herpes, HIV, syphilis, etc. You should not place all of the blame on the other woman, as he is partially responsible too. Whatever his excuses are, that is immature and deflection. He must take responsibility for his part. If they didn’t do a DNA test, then it’s his responsibility to demand one. Do not let him sit there and play the victim role. All of us have a choice in life, we can sit back and play the victim, so we can blame others for our problems and not take responsibility OR we can take charge and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Whether or not the woman lied, your husband had sex with her. Is he in elementary school and doesn’t know what the repercussions can be from that? I don’t think so! Stop letting him be irresponsible in blaming others and get him to accept responsibility for his part. If he has doubts, then it’s his responsibility to demand dna testing. However, if that is his child, he is responsible to support that child no matter what the circumstance of her conception. It’s not the child’s fault the mother lied and the father chooses not to take responsibility. I see a lot of anger coming from you, but none of this is the child’s fault. I know a lot of kids that have step parents, but that doesn’t make the biological parent any less responsible. Your husband needs to do more to take responsibility for his actions. What it sounds like to me is that he wishes he could erase that part of his life, but he can’t. We can’t run from our problems, as they’ll only get worse. What if that woman didn’t really lie to him and truly he’s the one lying? What if he one day leaves you with your child and decides never to see you again and gives the same story to the next woman that comes along pitying him? He’s a grown adult and he needs to take responsibility for his actions, regardless! It should be illegal to swing a dingaling in someone when one doesn’t want to take responsibility for the repercussions!

      • dmwatkins

        I was young, dumb and thought to be in love. Then she cheated, we broke up, she disappeared and a year and a half later I get a court order to show up for a paternity test, and request for child support. I turned out to be the father and child support was extablished. I’ve paid every penny, and the mother has only made my life a living hell. Eventually from all the problems, threats, her and her mother harrassing my family, I gave her what she wanted and gave up my rights, and kept on doing what I could to provide for him. I ended up having to drop out of college, to be able to earn enough to pay each month and still support myself, and defaulted on my loans, moved back into my parents’ house and have kept making trying to make it day by day, never making any requests from the court to take my own needs into consideration. Since 2005 when the order was established, she shows up randomly, telling me she wants me to be part of my son’s life, that she wants to make things work between up, that he is crying for his father, I show up and won’t let me see him. Just starts to want to fight and making demands that I have to be there for him, and that i’m neglecting him. But won’t let me see him. She’s moved cities and states eventually, and she has not allowed me to see him since before 2008 when she moved to another state. He will be 9 soon. Now that she found out that I am getting back on my feet, I have a great relationship with someone else and we had a baby last year, she showed up again while we were in the hospital having our baby girl, “so I could spend time with my son for a few hours”. I didn’t show up and stayed in the hospital. She ofcourse disappeared again. Then showed up again at my parent’s home telling them she moved back to Texas in March, because now she sees how important family is to children. Ironically enough, it was right around the same time I sent in the paperwork to have my case reviewed for all the thousands I’ve already overpaid and to include the support I am providing for my baby daughter. The judge slapped me with a rejection letter, telling me that what I pay will not be readjusted, not even to include the amount I’ve overpaid, the money I have garnished from my salary for my student loan repayment, or even considering my daughter. My income has not changed much since the last time my case was reviewed, at which point the amount I owed was increased. To make it even better, we came to find out that all these years she hasn’t even had my son with her. His grandmother has been taking care of him. She had another son soon after she had mine, with some guy who was underage at the time. He has 4 other children, and the last one was born while both he, and that other baby moma were in jail. When I spoke to the courts to see why I can’t even request a hearing to have my case reviewed, I was told she needed more assistance because she is not receiving support for her other son, and her change in income, even if it was increased from nothing to almost what I make is not enough to support her and her children’s needs. Really? I’ve done what I can for my son and followed her wishes, why do I have to provide for her other son, and the needs of my daughter not be considered…and why hasn’t the fact that she hasn’t had my son with her all these years not be taken into consideration that she hasnt even bothered to take care of his day to day needs, and tortures me that I’m the one neglecting him when she doesn’t let me even see him. Who knows if all these years all the money that’s been sent to her even been used for his needs. Why does the system not consider a case seperate from the next, and sides with the custodial parent regardless?

  • Brandi

    my husbands ex wife keeps taking us back to court to get child support changed…how many times can she do this in a yr????

    • Jeanette78

      I am in the same situation and my husband pays on time and we have a 3 hour drive one way to visit his son. She keeps him in turmoil. Did you find an answer to your question?

    • Brad

      I was wondering the same thing how often my ex could take me to court to modify child support, we havent even been divorced for one year and im going to court again today?

  • goddie

    i live in the state of georgia, my husband has two children one child lives with his mother and he pays childsupport for and one lives with him and does not recive support. now that we are married he is resonable for three other children. my husband hours were cut on his job and what they take out for taxes and childsupport he barley brings anything home. can he take nhis ex back to court to reduce his payments being the this situtations has changed

    • ColoradoKramer

      Your husband is financially responsible for only the children he fathered. He is not financially responsible for your children, that responsibility falls on you as their mother and their real father. While it is great that he took on the emotional responsibility to help you raise your children … that does not negate the fact that he was already financially responsible for other children before you met him and, I’m sure you were aware of that fact before you married him. While his financial situation may have changed regarding his work hours and that could result in a reduction in his child support, I think it is pretty pathetic that you think he should suddenly not support his own children because he should be supporting yours from another man.

      • cc

        I dont think she was meaning it that way and i can see where she is comming from. YES he does still have a responsibilty to HIS kids, but her kids live in the same household with him now so they are to some degree his responsibilty now. Their real father should have to pay child support on them. You have to think about it though he is BARELY bringing home anythign to support a household with 5 people in it. That means higher light bills water bills, and grocery bills. If he isnt makeing enough to pay for thoset hings then yes i think his CSP should be lowered since his work situation has changed.

      • Oregonmama

        I can relate! Divorced in November and me ex married 6 months later to a woman with 4 kids from 4 different dads all within 8 years. She has gone to jail for meth distribution and is wanted for domestic abuse/assault. Enough said.

        This woman recently threatened to declare bankruptcy so I couldn’t get any support. What kind of woman would want to be with a man who didn’t want to support his kids?

    • Debbie

      I a gree with you.

      Goodie, your children are not his responsibility finacially, that is your and your ex’s responsibility. These are not his children, even though you are married. He can help you support them since you are now married, but it is your ex responsibility to support them..I am appaled with you even saying that in your letter that now he has your children as finanaciall responsibility.

  • mani

    I have 3 children with the same father. while he was in jail he was sending his family to harm me and my children so when he got out from jail he will be able to have a new family with out having to pay childsupport. We called police many times. Finally we have to run but he said if he find us he will kill us all. so we affraid to exit on the system. I couldn’t work or in school for 5 yrs. finally I findout that I can get the state to correcting childsupport from him with out him know where we are. that was 9yrs. later. court of AK only award 3 of my children only $300 a month. it is not even enough for children to buy lunch at school. Here is my question. Can I get him to pay back childsupport that he did have to pay since we scare he will harm us for 9yrs. how can I get him to pay more. If I want court to modify the payment what kind of info or paper work I have to prepare? can you reply to me soon. I really really need help.

    Thank you for your kindness



  • Gary Triano

    I just lost my job at ups cause I had two major back surgeries and got perm work restrictions placed on me so I had to resign. I was making 30.00 an hour but their is no way I will make that kinda money every again due to my injury. I live In Colorado. Can they reduce my support while I’m out of work? When I do find work it will be way less then what I was making will they perm reduce or am I screwed?

    • You should file a motion to modify support in light of your present work situation. The court cannot order you to pay support if the amount of your income makes it impossible to pay a certain support amount.

  • Qortell Owens

    I now live in Nevada and have been out of work for almost 2 years. I have a child support case in Illinois. I have no problem with paying the child support, the only reason why it wasn’t getting paid is because I have been having hard time getting an employer to hire me. When I worked before, Back child support was being taking out along with current child support, No problem however, it was and is stopping me from being able to live ( I’m not expensive). I would just like to know how can I modify it. After all, she’s being able to live and pay her rent, I want the same (It’s only fair).

    • In order to modify the present child support court order, you will have to file a motion in Illinois. The court will take into consideration the amount of your income and mother’s income.

      • Diana

        Will the court look at your present income status or the past year or two for child support? What I’m getting at is, I’ve always worked 48+ hours a week and do to my health I just can’t pull more than 40 any more. So I need to modify my child support order.

    • Mj Johnson

      Lol u liar. u work off the books as a PC tech.u live with husband that works at bank of america. u remember y I put u on cs ? Cause u couldn’t give me 25 bucks a week for 2 kids.and now u only pay 178 for 2 kids. cause u keep job hopping.u still owe 30,000 n back cs and I will make sure u pay every bit of it.I mean its only fair. deadbeat turd

  • tony George

    I live in alabama my divorce was in georgia me and the ex had three kids together i was going to prove her unfit but her and her mom got a lawyer and through some charges on me so i would go to jail and she would have the upper hand in court.well it worked while i was in jail she served me papers put it in the newspaper and won everything,we separated in 2002 but our divorce was in 2004 my question without money to get a lawyer can i still modify my child support,also in 2007 the state took the kids from her for being unfit,her mother got my oldest who is 18 now,i have the youngest one with me and the middle one was in a half-way house but his mother got him back.ive lost my house and my car do to the hardship i now work at wal-mart but i get paid every two weeks and it is less than half of my pay please give me some great advice on what i can do

  • Shaynon

    If after 2 years of divorce, the parents reconcile, and they live together for 9 months and the father provides a place for his children and ex wife to live, with him, and supports them for the 9 months becuase she has no job, what can he do to have this taken off of his child support? the mother said she reported this to the child support, but, was lying the whole time. So the father supports them, while he is getting $600 a month added to his arrears. They are not together now, she up and left to go back to Alabama again, story of her life. But, he is now in arrears for the amount it would be for the 9 months they were together. Help, I need advice and direction on this.

    • Brenda

      He should of made sure he modified the order himself but since he didn’t he is liable. Unless she agrees to take that amount off which is probably not going to happen. I had my stepson live for us for a year with no support from the mother but as soon as he went back to live with her she went to the state for back child support. We had no recourse because we didn’t modify the order. You can take it to a judge and see what they rule but it may just be a live and learn case like ours.

  • Andrea

    My ex and I have split/shared residency of our 4 and 7 year old children in Maine. I recently lost my job due to budget cuts and the position being eliminated at my school. Is my ex legally responsible for increasing his current child support amount or can he deny to do so? I already gave him a modified stipulation to increase the support but he disagreed with my terms and now our lawyers are getting involved. What if I cannot find another teaching position nearby?

    • MikeC

      Actually they are your kids too so he does not need to pay more if he can’t because you can’t find work. At least it’s that way in Texas. I’m not sure in Yank Me states like you are in.

  • DO WHAT?

    Me and my ex lived in IL when we got divorced..we have 1 child,..we got divorced,and years later she slapped me w/child support..I moved to Tn and started workin and IL takin child support out of my check..few trs later she meets someone i Tn and moves in w/him…Now Tn child support is wanting to take over and increase my child support by over half ..200 to over 400// I was court ordered in IL,is this legal?

  • Fiona

    Hi. My ex is currently residing in a half-way house in New Hampshire where we live. He was not paying support and was on the run for the last few years.We have 4 children in common, 2 are still under 18. He has only just started paying support in Dec. 2009 and apparently works only part time. He owes us about $50,000 in back support. The payments have been varied, I guess based on his hours at work each week. ( They are not the original order amount of $200 a week, which was for 4 children at the time) They are directly deposited into my account. A few days ago, he sent me a copy of a motion to modify the child support payments, saying he has to pay his rent in the half-way house ($63 per week) and cannot save up enough to get an apartment with the current child support order. The amounts I receive have been anywhere from $27 to $171 and not always every week. I am supposing in his current situation he is fed and has few expenses, whereas I work no less than 6 days a week to keep my family going. I don`t know why he does`nt work full time. Do I need to file some sort of response to this action or need to be present in court? I haven`t received any other notice or court date on this. Thank you in advance for your help .

  • George

    My wife & I filed divorce and have an agreed child support amount which is less 20% by the state. Now my wife wants an increase in child support. Is it possible for her to go and get an increase in child support even though we have a final signed divorce…

  • Danny Bondo

    I live in Texas and was just informed by my ex that she’s engaged. We share joint custody with our two children. A few questions I don’t know the answers to completely:

    1. Do I have the right to know who the new husband is?

    2. Will this effect my child support negatively or positively?

    Thank you,


    • Danielle

      You have every right to know who will be sharing a home with your children. There’s no doubt about that.

  • Tia

    I live in GA and started receiving child support almost 2 years ago from Illinois. My daughter is about to turn 18 in less than 6 months and the current child support ordrer ends on her birthday. I would like to modify the child support to include her college years. Can you please offer me some advice on modifying the child support order?

    • JD

      Once a child turns 18 the child support stops but paying part of a college tuition will take another court order

  • Tina

    It took two days of endless searching to finally get some solid information. This site needs to be linked to every custody/visitation search made.

    I was very curious, the father has managed to have support of child terminated, and i want to know why and how anything could be modified without me recieving any notification of proceeding’s. Yet he still remain’s joint in custody. I however am the primairy custodiant care provider. Is there any way he may have changed all support without terminating his rights? Also the state minimum for child support is 60.00, yet baffled i was to recieve 10.00 a month and a statement of support garnishment had been reduced to 10.00. How is this possible?

  • Trying to understand

    I have been sperated from my husband for two years but not legally. We have two children and he has been paying $1,000 per month in child support which was a verbal agreement. He has a child from a previouse relationship and now she has file for child support. My husband told me he would have to reduce my support by the amount he has to pay her. My question is if I get a court order for child support before she does can my support still be reduced? We live in California.

    • frustration

      Yes your child support can still be reduced.I am appauled that you would even do that to your children’s father.he is doing the best he can for you and your children,obviously giving you what he can afford without breaking himself.Now that he is going to have another payment ,you are going to run to the court system because you think that beating her to it is going to benefit you.You are a very selfish woman.He seems like he loves his children and you at that.He will give you WHAT HE CAN WITHOUT PUTTING HIM IN THE POOR HOUSE.yOU BOTH CREATED THESE WONDERFUL CHILDREN TOGETHER.Yes he should help take care of them,but it shouldn’t make it soo he can’t make his bills either

      • catdog

        He shouldn’t have had another if he can’t afford the one he has…..

  • pete

    i lost my 5 yrs ago do to the ressesion they where garnishing my check for .I took a job as a cab driver I do not make as much as i did at my last job i have no proof of in come there for they will not give me a modification and they suspended my dl what can i do i was sending half of what they where asking for

  • pete

    what can i do to have child support modify if i have no proof of income?

  • R. Harris

    Non- custordial parent wants to modify the
    current child support order due to change in
    job. He stated that he is unable to pay his bills.
    He has not paid child support since Dec. 09,and
    he messed paying some months before this date.
    He is in arrears of 5000 or more without interest. He
    has not attempted to make not one or some type of payment.
    This is not the first time he stop paying, the last time
    was in the year 2007 he was found in comtemped
    of court for not paying. He was found in contempt and jailed. Right now I’m currently unemployed,
    will this hurt my case in court. We are in the state of Alabama.
    Please Help!!!!

  • elaine

    we live in georgia,my son can’t find a job. so i told him he should go to a tec school then he could a job. i help him and the children as much as i can. now the courts say that he is $2000 behind, i can’t pay it. If he is in jail how can he pay.

  • Stacey

    Hello I am needing to see what to do. I live in Texas near Houston. I have been out of work for about a year now. But now I have a job. But making allot less. How do I go about getting my child support reduced? I looked online but did not see how to. I really want to start paying my child support again. But I need to go to court to get it reduced. Please help me. Stacey

    • Jennifer

      If you want to start paying your cs again, go pay it. You will have to motion the court and ask for a modification. If you do this and have not made an attempt to pay your current cs order, the Judge will not like that.

  • Dave

    I live in the state of Ga. Two children were involved in my divorce. My ex wife was awarded custody of both. Our divorce states that I pay a monthly amount per child until they reach the age of 18. The divorce decree does combine this total but a dollar figure is clearly stated per child. One child reached the age of 18 and graduated high school. As per our verbal agreement ( Ex wife and I ) I continued to pay the same amount for one child which was double the required amount until I reached the total amount of money required until his 18th birthday and expected graduation from high school. I reached this amount 7 months ago. He will not graduate until the summer of 2011. After seven months have passed she is demanding more. What are my responsibilities?

    • crystal

      after they turn 18 you are not responsible for paying anymore so i dont even see how she can even ask for more….once 18 they are responsible for themselves…..not exact but in my case thats what i was told.

  • Dolores

    My daughter turned 18, but still goes to school. She has moved with me and I am the non-custodial party. I have filed for modification of child support since there is another child involved who lives with my ex. Can I stop child support payments to the other child until the court orders the modification?

    • Jennifer

      You should continue to pay support. You will appear the responsible parent that you are and the judge will notice that. As long as an order is in place, follow it until you get a hearing for modification.

      Good luck!

  • Rick

    I live in NY and I am on disability. My wife lives in Pennsylvania. She wants child support, and says that I can work. Does she have a right to have my doctor into court to question him?

    • Jennifer

      Who cares what she says! If you are disabled, call her bluff and tell her to subponea your doctor. She appears perturbed because you dont work a 40 hour work week. You could also tell her to grow up…ha!

  • Hello, My husband just got a letter from court that he has to be on 11/17/10 he stop paying child support because he & his ex made a verbal agreement, now he found out that she wants him to pay back child support , he owes more than $50000.00 he has been paying since 2006 upto now , but I do know what does he tell in court , also his 2 kids last name have been change to other last name . Can he ask the judge to make payment arrangements, because all the expenses will be a big burden for me . Please help me .

    • crystal

      first off I dont think she is even allowed to change the kids last name without his permission, secondly you can not make a verbal agreement with the other parent you should always go into a court and have a written agreement, because its not written you are probably going to have to pay that esspecially if its been a court order child support. my brothers ex tried a verbal agreement with him and he agreed to it then one time she got made and started hitting him up for more and he found out that even though they had a verbal agreement that he had to still pay all what she wanted from way back even though he had been paying her for a year, now he owes 15,000…never do a verbal always go through a court and have legal documents signed…

  • kay

    My boyfriend pays child support in Massachusetts and his child support is so expensive that some times he cant even pick up his son for visits because he cant afford to feed him when he has him. My question is can he get his child support modified and if he can does he need a lawyer to do so and if he doesnt need a lawyer does he have to pay to get it modified. Also his sons mother lives with her parents and doesnt pay any rent and only works 3 hours a week when she is capable of getting a full time job is there anything he can do to help his sittuation.

  • Cindy

    Please help. I am a divorced Mother of 2 boys. AT time of divorce, my x was living in a half way house and working part time at Walmart. The cout awarded him $250 a child for child support. Since this time, he is now working for his girlfirend in a very successful company. He states that he is making no money, although he travels in exotic places and is driving a new car. My monthly payments are, he states, sent to my checking account through an IDO. If he is not working wiht the company the IDO was first registered with, how does this work? The payments are very late, and he blames the IDO. I cant afford an attorney, and currently unemployed. Btw..he ran a multi million dollar hedge fund prior to losing his liscence for mail fraud. He has his masters degree, and is still tring to run from past responsiblities.

  • Felicia

    My husband pays out $201 a week he by the time he gets his check he only brings home $150 a week. We are at the point now where we could possibly become homeless due to child support. We were trying to fight it but when we get our paperwork from the state his kids live in its to late for us to do anything. We have two children together and he pays child support to 4 children(not Mine). I need to know what we can do. I just don’t think we should be scraping the bottom of the barrel having utilities turned off and on. We need to know what to do.

  • sodak dude

    I live in South Dakota and have four kids from the same woman. The oldest is almost 18 and lives with my ex-wife, she won’t be out of high school for at least 2 years. The other 3 live with me. I have a masters and my ex a bachelors. We have an order that says I have to pay her about $200 a month and she has to pay me about $300 a month, effectively she pays $100 a month for 3 kids in child support with the state’s 1st child rule. At the last modification hearing we each raised the issue that the other is underemployed, her working 20 hrs a week at minimum wage, and I haven’t had a job in 2 1/2 years.

    Now my ex got a job that pays more and I’m going back for over $700 a month, but at the same time the order is modified to take into account my income since it’s a joint order with all the kids on it, not just the 1 that lives with her and the three that live with me. What are the chances of a judge ordering me to pay more based on what I COULD MAKE compared to what I DO MAKE (nothing) simply because I have a masters.

  • Stacey

    Do I have to go back to court to get child support modified? Can’t I just ask the child support agency to review it?

    • Jennifer

      If only it was that easy!!

  • Barbara

    My ex owes over $100,000.00 in arrears and our youngest child is emancipated so no current support accruing just the arrears now. I have a money judgment issued by the NY courts accruing 9% interest. My ex is now divorced and paying child support for the children of that marraige. btw…all of the arrears owed to me were accrued during their marriage and she hid all of his assets. Now I am being told that her current child support order gets paid first and then if there is anything left it will go to me for the arrears. Is this true? Shouldn’t my court ordered money judgment for child support take precedence or at least equal weight to a current child support order for children of a subsequent marriage?

  • Rachel

    The AG’s office took my ex-husband to court for contempt, during that time they modified the order to include back child support and placed him on AG’s probation (which means absolutely nothing). 19 months later we went back to court, the AG’s was after him for not paying for health insurance so we went to court to modify the order. While there I asked to include half of extra curricular expenses (which are in the original divorce decree). The judge said no to the extra expenses, he claims that I should have asked for that the first time we were in court. Should I file an appeal?? Does the modification made to the payment about of child support affect the 50% of extra curricular expenses?

  • Italia

    My Fiance is currently paying child support to his ex for 1 child, we currently have a 5 month old and 1 on the way. Can his child support to her be reduced by support modification due to having 2 other children to support now? Also, He was on leave from work due to surgery but was NOT recieving workers comp so was he obligated to still pay those child support payments?

  • Italia

    My fiance is currently paying child support for 1 child from his ex. We currently have a 5 month old and are expecting again. Can he have his payments to her modified to be reduced being he has 2 more children to support now? Also, he ws on leave from work due to surgery but was
    NOT recieving workers comp, so was he still obligated to pay her child support?

  • beeku

    we are an indian couple. i have a 1 year husband is a doctor in USA. i am a dcotor but to practice in america i need to pass usmle exams, i have already cleared part of the exam. since i dont earn right now and my life has been made hell because i dont earn, i have gone ahead to read and pass the exams to be able to earn and take care of myself and my infant. i have had to gather lot of strength to stay away from my child and read. and more over my husband has disconnected my phone and he talks only when he wants and scolds and holds me responsible for all the problems in his life because he finds it hard to take care of the child and doesnt want to leave the too. kindly advice me how can i get my child back if the matters go to worse. i mean if i start earning can i get my child back from him?

  • Amanda

    My husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage. He pays $225.00 a week we just had a child of our own and are having trouble paying our bill.Can his child support be lowered?The ex works, Has a boyfriend(cousin) Who is has lived with for the past 6 year he wourks for the state . She get child support and collects welfare for only her and the two boys. Does anyone know if that illegal. THe kids are dressed in rags . We have to take them to hair cuts. Buy school clothes, Pay for school trip, Sports, and have to feed and care for them when there with us. It’s joint custody her 51% my husband 49% we have them every other day every other weekend,. Please help…

    • Jean

      No that is not legal! You need to immediately contact welfare and let them know what she is doing. You could probably get full custody.

  • mary

    I was in prison In the state of Virginia, and my x wife about 1 yr after I was in there desides to take child support out on me for my 2 children, I just got a letter in the mail a week ago saying I owe, 16 thousand on 1 and 17 thousand on the other, No one notified me that I was even going to be paying this, the mother knew what prison I was in she brought the children to see me. And I have been out a little over a year I am still on Parole and on house arrest, not allowed in the state of Virginia, what do I need to do? Or what can I do? I have just now today award’d my disability. And of course this could lead to a break in my probation and send me right back to prison for the rest of my sentence for 10 yrs..

  • tv

    Does the fact that I haven’t received a paycheck since Dec 15, 2009, but have still been paying my $2000.00 a month ( I AM CURRENT) for 3 kids plus have them 50/50 will do anything to help me in reducing my childsupport. I am working again but it’s barely above minmum wage and my ex makes way more money then I do now. Not too mention I have to pay a additional 1000.00 for COBRA ins. Please tell me it’s not hopeless. I have attorney’s working on my company bankruptcy and this modification but since august we haven’t gotten anywhere. I can no longer afford to pay this amount. BUT can’t afford to go to jail. Please help!

  • Sunshine

    I stop paying child support and I pay the house payments and utility bills of my ex spouse home we use to live in. Is that still consider child support?

    • jr

      no it doesn’t count you have to enter an agreement and get it approved by a judge or you will owe back pay.

  • Natasha Rudd

    I am a single parent with a 2 year old daughter. Last year DHS ordered the absent parent to pay 254.00 a month in child support and for him to have medical insurance. The absent parent makes 22.00 an hour and has 1 other child thats not in daycare. Since then I’ve had to move back home with my mother because thats just simply not enough. Daycare was 520.00 a month not including diapers and other necessities. I had no insurance on her from my job and the court order stated that he had to have insurance on her. In the meantime she had an injury and had to be taken to the hospital in which the bill is over 1700.00. This happen doing the time he was ordered to have her on his insurance. I am stuck making monthly payments. I asked him to help but he has refused. He will not give me the insurance card because he said it will be only used when shes with him. Its Nov. he has only seen her 4 times this year and 2 of those times he kept her for 3hrs. I am having to do everything for her. What are my rights in MS in concerns to this?

  • Grace Spoor

    My husband owes arreages from 35 years ago of 16,000,He was homeless for awhile. He is getting SSI and I am his payee, and their is a payee rep. account at Chase Bank. Can Sutter county support levy the bank account or garnish his check?

  • rosa

    My husband recently received a letter noticing him that the amount paid for his child support is not appropiate. That it will increase can he ask for receipts on what she buys for them because she never sends them with good clothing or good shoes. It seems like if she buys their clothes at yard sales… all torn and stained with clorox.. and shoes all dirty, torn and they sometimes don’t fit their foot. We also have to buy them shoes and clothes most of the time.

  • kristy

    I live in Georgia and me and the custodial parent agree to lower my childsupport with my giving a lump sum.. how can I legally get this done through the courts with out the attorney fees…do I need an attorney to get a mondification legally?

  • Stephanie

    My sons father and I broke up when I was pregnant. He got married and had 2 kids. His wife doesnt like that I get cs so they are always taking me to court. He has been a stay home dad the last 2 years and collecting unemployment. He refused to get cobra insurance so he decided to stop paying insurance for my son and is now taking me to court to get lower cs payments. Can he do this since he is choosing not to work? In IL is a father supposed to pay for health insurance or is he allowed to just decide not to do it?

  • Donna

    Indiana – we have an agreed signed order Sept 2010 with set support of 100.00 a week.Visitation per Indiana parenting guidelines. Should I pay extra each week thru the clerk for his athletics. The agreement states I will pay half of all agreed camps for 14 yr old. She also told r 14yr old he doesnt have to visit me and he rarely does now. What can I do to keep my child support from being raised if he rarely visits, afraid custodial is setting me up to get more support in the future…Tired of fighting

    • Jennifer

      Living in the state of Indiana, I have studied the guidelines many times. If you have a set schedule for parenting time and the other parent is not fulfilling their part, that parent can be held in contempt. Motion the court and address the Judge with your concerns, I dont think a judge will increase the amount of support when the other parent is in contempt and not encouraging your son to spend time with you. Something else to think about, if you motion the court and you have representation, your atty can get the other parent to pay your atty fees!

  • rosie

    my boyfriend has two kids from two different mothers.. the oldest he has sole custoday of the 2nd he has 50-50 custody.. well we havent seen the 2nd in 5 years and he pays about $900 a month.. we have 2 kids together as well.. can we have support modified due to alienation of the child.. and he just had to file for U.I in Ca.. does this make a difference.. please help.. all this support is taking from my kids and were struggling to pay our bill..i would really like some help on what to do..

    • Jennifer

      Do you get cs from the other child’s parent? As for not seeing the 2nd child, unsure of the circumstance but if you have 50/50 why have you not seen him/her? I wonder if you think that the mothers of his prior born children are causing your hardship. If so, maybe you should evaluate your boyfriend and his responsibility in all of this. His actions speak lounder than words you know! it is stressful when you are struggling to make ends meet but regardless, he is still responsible to his other children. Take charge of your situation and do what you need to do to provide for your children. You can modify the court regarding cs but you need to gain some insight on exactly what alienation is because it is more comlex than you must think. Make your boyfriend accountable for the responsibility of ALL children involved!

  • vanity20

    Im currently deployed in the military and finally got my divorce finalized, but i have three kids by my ex-wife which now i have to pay $1100 a month. Once i return home, my deployment pay will not be the same but i will still be paying $1100 a month. Is there by chance a way that i can go back to court and get my payments altered? When my divorce got finalized i was overseas and didnt get a chance to have any say so in the situation. I feel that i need a second chance because she doesnt work and i have supported my kids before all of this and now alot more.

  • Mrs. Davis

    I live in NY state and my husband lives in GA (he has a job) he is in the arrears of $32,409 and I haven’t received a dime!! Everytime I call child support, I’m told that they haven’t recieved a response from his employer and it usually takes 4 to 6 weeks. Meanwhile, I’m not receiving a anything. What can I do?

    • Jennifer

      Motion the court yourself!

  • Linda

    How to Ask a Judge for Back Child Support, if my income has lowered and my exs has increased 5 years ago but I never put in a modification and my support is ending in four weeks? Can I file to get back pay on child support because of change of income? or is it too late ?
    I live in New york

  • D.G.

    When I was first placed on child support, I was making 30,000 a year, and I was order to pay 411 a month in child support for one child. Since then I have lost that job, and now I’m making about 15, 000 a year. I had my child support modified, and the courts ordered that I pay 228 a month. It’s been a month, and I still haven’t seen I decrease. I am still paying 411. What can I do about this? Who do I need to direct my questions to?

  • Tina

    Im paying support for my son who now lives with his mother who does not work and hasnt work much her whole life. My son lived with me from the age of 5 til he was 14 when he wanted to live with his mom. I pay a large amt of money a month ($725), I also pay for his Health insurance, deductibles and co-pays. This has put me in great finanical distress. I recently found out that my son’s mother received a large amt of money from a car accident that she was in (more than I make in 3 yrs), can that be counted that she does have money now to help out and my support be lowered? I 100% believe and want to pay support for my son. I pay her alot of money, plus the money she received and she gets welfare, in the meantime i am having a hard time paying my bills for my family.

  • Rob

    I need to leave the country for a family emergency but I owe arrears and they will not issue a passport unless it is under 2500.00 and I owe 4970.00 . Can my kids mother go into court and say she does not want the arrears and have that satisfied and still keep the current order of weekly support I pay the way it is or is arrears there until they are paid and the state is happy ?

  • lcol

    My ex-husband owes me back spousal maintenance in AZ. He no longer pays spousal support, just the amount that is in a arrears. Due to his financial hardship, I am wondering if I can have the judgment nullified, so that he no longer owes me any money? What do I need to do? Please reply. Thank you.

  • alicia

    GA resident…single mom of 1 with court ordered custody and child support. Dad filed complaint for modification of support due to unemployment since last year and provided copy of unemployment benefits page. After original order, he became convicted felon several counts (for stealing money from comp he worked for) with extensive probation terms. One being he must (added handwritten addendum by judge and DA) work no less than 40 hours per week at gainful employment. He found a job after conviction but lost it. (unknown reasons) He’s certified and attested to violating his own probation by serving these papers. He’s shady so I dont really know if these unemployment benefits are accurate or forged. What’s my first move and how do I respond?

  • Gina

    How can I pursue ex-husband to pay child support arrears when I live in Florida and he lives in Alabama. Spoke to the DOR and they said they have exhaused all they can do to collect. They have verified his address but no employer information. They will request the State of Alabama to enforce the order but how long does that take and what could I do to expedite this process. He is consistanty late. He pays once every 3 months. The modified court order in 2008 was reduced just so he could pay his arrearage, which I agreed to do, but he also was ordered to pay health insurance from the beginning (1994) and never has and this was also supposed to be enforced on the modified 2008 order. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks!

  • I live in maine and have 100% custody of my son.. my ex has filed , but not completed a motion to modify child support payments, .. i filed a motion to enforce the child support per the divorce agreement, since she did not complete her filing… i suspect she has since completed her filing… Will she be liable to pay the full amount owed on the back payments before the courts rules on both motions, since both motions will be put together on the same hearing?

  • DavidF

    I live in South Dakota and my ex moved to Nebraska almost a year ago taking our son with her with out my permission and has been hiding him since then from me. This State don’t have the parental kiddnapping law, so I did get a hold of a lawyer out of Rapid City see what I can do legally. I was told that I don’t need a lawyer to make a motion or modification to the custody order that has already been set for us. Which is we both have equal joint custody with neither of us paying child support and to follow the guideline for the visitions. So the lawyer only charged me 100.00 to draft up the legal paper work needed to be filed and informed that I could take it to the court house and file it on my own, but will have to pay a fililng fee as well as a fee to have the shierff serve it. So I went to the court house to do this and they lady told me that I needed a lawyer to do this and it can’t be down.
    I guess what I am asking is if this is true and also if there is any other way being I did get injuried and don’t make the money I used to hire a laywer and on top of that, SD legal aid can’t help due to the fact that she used them to get joint custody as I did have full custody.
    Other then that I would be very thankful for any advice on this matter on what I can do about this.

  • Amy

    my child support is being lowered and I just found out the judge set the date for November 2010. My ex-husband wants backpay, do I have to pay him this?

  • melodie

    me & my ex husband share joint custody of our 3 yr old daughter. there is no order for support but he helped with daycare while i go to school fulltime. he was first ordered to pay support but i agreed to the joint custody as long as he helped with her. i should mention he only keeps her every other weekend. recently i moved to a town 20 minutes away & he told me that he will no longer help with daycare or anything financially. that it is my responsibility as long as she lives with me. he makes $2500 a month. im not working while i go to school. i graduate next month. can i have the court order changed to ask for child support?

    • Jennifer

      Yes you can!

  • Monika

    My husbands divorce was filed in Idaho where he was ordered to pay child support because his son was living with his ex wife. Now his son is living with us in Ohio. His ex wife no longer lives in Idaho either. My question is, we need to modify the support order. How does he go about doing this when the divorce was filed in Idaho. Does Ohio have juristiction now that none of the parties live in Idaho any longer? How do we file for a modification,do we need a lawyer to do so?

  • jackie

    walfare took my kids i pulled my sons heairl he was running away from me first thing i grub i now i should off and here s marks on my one sone its from him climbing and stuff and my house waz a little mess how do i get them back they say just for the week end i been over welm

  • Travis

    I didn’t know that there are so many situations where the baby daddy gets taken advantage of by child support services. You need to know your rights and how the system works. I downloaded this book and it shows step by step how to handle your own child support case without a lawyer. I recommend it to anyone on child support. Check the book out at

  • carla

    my question is i have a court order for my daughters father to pay child,he lives in a different state and has since we got the order…he has not paid in over a year,how do i go about this so something will happen???

  • Steph

    My child is 12 now and for the last 10 years of her life a court order has been established for 800 mo. He hasnt sen her in 10 years and I have never recieved a full payment! Meanwhile the father has remarried 2x and made a total of 6 children. Now that the recent baby is here with the lastest wife he is trying to get the order modified. He is in arrears 60K and I may recieve about 600 a year. Can it be lowered even if he hasnt paid anything and keeps making more babies…Is that my childs fault he has created lives he can not afford? If it gets lowered will he be forced to finally pay something? This makes no sense how I have to be draged to court for something he isn’t even paying anyway. Can you advise?

    • Jennifer

      You appear perturbed about your ex not paying his court ordered support. Why have you not done anything about this? No, it is not your childs fault that her father is irresponsible! He may get his support lowered but his arrears still remain and yes, he should be ordered to pay something. Arent you glad that you are no longer married to this man?!?!

  • @ tone

    Do I have to pay Child support if my doctor say I cant work for medical reasons ( In writing ) ?

  • sal

    im maried with 4 children we were having money problems i was working minum wage my wife found out of some helping progams for low imcome families we were getting food and money every month to be honest we could see clear i was self emploide for a few months after i was able to work for a company without notice 3 pay checks were retained because i owed child support i recieved a letter saying that my driving license was on hold because i owed child support my wife and i went to the office of child support i explain that it was a mistake that my wife and i were still married and living together with my 4 kids the clerk looked at my wife and said you never told him right the clerck had my wife sign a paper saying no more child supprt we worked on a payment of 50$ every paycheck but they also gaurnish my imcomtax money now im out of work because of that my license is on hold its taking a turn for the worse what can i do

  • Jill Childers

    My ex.(an attorney) and I signed a divorce agreement stating that I am to receive 7% of his net salary. He recently lost his job and he now says he owes me zero because he has no salary. We have three children and I don’t know what to do . Please help. Thanks so much .

  • monica

    I want to cancel child supported and back arrears order against my son’s father. He did a dna and found out he is not the father. How do I go about this?

  • Gio

    my boyfriend wants to modify his child support he has to pay to his x because his income has dropped ALOT what forms does he need to do? him and his ex agrees to a lower payment so they already have agreed now what do he do????? PLEASE HELP

  • Alex

    My husband pays for two kids, and we have two issues right now:
    1. He lost his job in February 2010, it took him five months to find even a parttime job, and he now has 3 parttime jobs. His income is about half of what it was. THe support is not in arrears thanks to help from his parents.

    2. The oldest child turned 18 in December. He is severely autistic and was put in a home by his mother in March of 2010 without our knowledge. We want to get this child off of the support. Since he’s not going to be living at home anymore or supported and taken care of by his mother, can’t he be taken off the support order?

    Please help. We’ve petitioned the court ourselves, have NO money for a lawyer, we live in another state and also have no money for traveling.

  • Carrie

    If my new husband adopts my children because, their father has abandoned them. Will this have any effect on the amount of child support he pays for his kids?

  • Tony in GA

    I am still paying support for a son who is 20 because divorce decree has pay per child & does not indicate what age to stop Does this mean I could be paying as long as he lives with his mother? I need to have this modified, I now have 2 other children. What does the law in GA say regarding support ending at age 18 and we have never modified anything. I really need help.

    • Shelia

      Hi Tony,

      You need to go to court to get a court order to stop the payments for your 20 year-old, if not you will continue to pay. Also, if you are not with the mother of the other 2 children, you need to get it adjusted through the court also. But, the bottom line is that you need to go to court.

  • Sue

    My question is: My son is 19 just graduated from high school. My ex doesnt have a job and hasn’t worked for a minute. He is taking me back to court to get more support. I am from Indiana, Will the court turn the payments over to my son if requested? He is supposed to start college this fall.

  • Mindie

    How often can you take someone back to court for child support modification in the state of Wisconsin? Every year, every 2 years??

  • stepmom

    My husbands x gave temporary custody of their daughter to her mother, we went back to court at the beginning of june just showing the he was paying his child support – everything went well, he did however get mad at the gma because when he asked where his daughter was she said with her mother – who has no rights right now!that day his x brought his daughter to us, so now his daughter who is 4 has moved in with us we are LOVING it! however we are NOT loving the fact that we are paying $515 in child support divided between 2 people who do not have his daughter! what can we do about getting the child support disolved? we do not want her back with her mother/grandmother BUT cannot afford court cost because we are on a very fixed income and paying child support along with our OWN bills – we do not get foodstamps like her mother (who is claiming the child) or anything else! PLEASE HELP with some advise!

  • Man, I just got out of this situation with my daughter mother and I was still paying her child support for over 3years. my wife found a ebook with step by step instructions that should me how to go about filing the right papers for child support modif and i was seen before a judge again within a short time. not only did i get child support dropped, but i have full custody because of this ebook that was for us fathers for a change. here’s the address read it and apply everything like it says and you’ll have a fair chance and winning just like i did!

  • Taelar

    Im 16 and my moma gets child support checks for me but she uses them for drugs and i dont live with her . Is it any way that i could get the child support checks in my guardians name ?

    • jacie

      I’m sorry for your situation, Taelar. Yes, you should reach out to a state-sponsored child advocacy agency/official. Not sure what state your are in, but start in your hometown (or the county courthouse). Call the information desk at the courthouse and asked to be transferred to a child welfare advocate or advocacy office. They should be able to help you.
      You might also try asking your guardian to initiate these steps, as well.
      GL! ((hugs))


    I pay child support to my ex who raises our daughter, I am now remarried and have another child and am expecting again. Could my payment possibly be lowered now that I have other children to take care of also. And if i do apply for a modifaction will they be taking my new husbands wage into consideration as well?

  • mommatothree

    My kids were born in Utah and I was divorced there. I then moved with my kids to Washington state. My ex re-married, adopted her child and had another. Now he wants a CS modification. Which state’s child support guidelines will apply?

  • dk

    Can anyone help with this one? My boyfriend has 3 kids mom left when the kids where 2,4, and 6 . He had a support order put on her she has never really worked so he has received little of the support. He had all the kids up until last year when she took all of them the kids are now 14,16 and 18. He gives the kids 100.00 each a month and pays for sports and other school things..The state now is trying to hit him with over 800.00 a month in CS .. Yet he hasnt received what is owed to him . Can they do a seperate agrrement and get state out of it?

    • jacie

      I don’t fully understand your question, but if BOTH parents agree to an arrangment, they can have their respective attorneys draw up this agreement and as long as both parents sign off on it, they can present it to a judge/court and that would limit the state’s involvement.

      I know a mother who never asked for child support, because she wanted her child to have the best, possible relationship with the dad and did not want all this fighting and courts and attorney’s involved, so the state was never involved – ever.

      Of course the mother didn’t use any excuses (she had NO child care), but managed to work really, really — i mean REALLY hard to support her child — hired a live-in nanny when needed – sent her child to private school and did all kinds of sports and the child got a partial scholarship to one of the TOP schools in the country and is absolutely remarkable!! Well-adjusted, happy, etc…..all because the parents didn’t fight about child support, etc.

      The dad did contribute some, but it was not court-ordered. He also had to help with the college. But after all that time, it was no problem.

      Anyway, you can keep the courts out of it. Sometimes that can be best for the child and the parents. GL!

  • Beth

    Can an order modifying (increasing) my child support be made without me being present or heard?

  • jessalyn

    i have one child im at the three year mark im with him 93% of the time, even in a shared custody thing, im a single parent, i get 216.00 monthly i do not work due to taking care of the child have no other way to get to work no sitter and honestly wouldnt want to leave him with one, he is going to school but i still have a daughter who knows where her dad is.. anyways, i live with my parents and they work, so should i request this review? he takes the yearly income taxes bc i dont work to be able to recieve them yet, he does not hardly pay 50% of his living expences nor his medical which is still being taken care of by dhs. what should i do your advice?

  • jacie

    State of IN: custodial parent had her own home and job for several years. Custodial parent quit job and left home to be foreclosed.
    Now lives in gov’t subsidized housing.
    Custodial parent collects child support from multiple fathers (has more than one child).
    Custodial parent does not look for work and spends days doing a specific leisurely activity (think going swimming everyday, tanning beds, laying out in the sun and going to the gym 5-6 days a week for several hours).
    Doesn’t even seem like there is any child-rearing involved. I bet the kids can’t even read. I know they needed a tutor for one of the kids, so the parent doesn’t even work with their own child doing basic skills – just drops them off at the gym’s babysitter. (so sad)

    Custodial parent makes no effort to find a job and may be receiving additional monies from a relative (who is somewhat of a pimp — ie: think anna nicole smith and the 90-year-old guy)
    Custodial parent may also be receiving gov’t services for free childcare items and child health/medical care.
    The question is: Is it legal for this custodial parent to quit a good job for no reason, foreclose on a house and move into gov’t subsidized housing so they can collect as much child support as possible?

    The dad’s are very low-middle class — barely getting by themselves.

    Isn’t that double-dipping?
    Aren’t they required to at least…..look for a job and contribute to the income?

    They are constantly going on trips, buying clothes, going out to dinners, etc. and living a very leisurely lifestyle, while the gov’t and taxpayers are helping to foot the bill (never mind the child support and fathers).
    As a taxpayer, is this legal?

    If so, where do I sign up?

    All around me I hear of people struggling and the economy in a shambles, yet this person seems to be living high on the hog off of taxpayers (help w/housing, food, medical care)

    If you are receiving child support, what state or federal funding (translate — taxpayer funding) are these people entitled to?
    I work hard to support my own family and children, and we are barely making it, so I don’t see how someone without a job is doing it.
    It’s not my business about the child support thing, but I feel it IS my business if they are ALSO getting to live in gov’t-taxpaer-funded housing at a greatly reduced price and getting free health care (because ours is SUPER expensive) and so I would just like to know why I am supporting these people, too?

    I just don’t understand how they can be so blatant about it and in this economy with EVERYONE struggling, something is not adding up and doesn’t seem right.

    Who should be contacted?
    Is there someone/agency who can and WILL actually look into something like this?
    Thank you

    • Jennifer

      You have created this situation to be something bigger than what it is. Do you support a child with this woman? If you do, get over it and if you dont, get over it!

  • Karen

    My husband has 2 kids ( 14 and 16) from a previous marriage. We have the kids 50% of the time. He still has to pay child support to his ex who is remarried. I also cover their medical and dental insurance through my work. Why does he pay if we have them the same amount of time and she if fine financially. ( She has gone to Europe 4 times in 4 years as well as many other trips we can’t afford to go on). He makes less now than he did when they divorced in 2000. He just wants to split everything 50-50 which seems fair.

  • Martha

    I have a 14 year old daughter and my ex has stopped paying child support and moved out of state. The DHR in my county tells me they can not find him and when they did he had stopped working where they found. We have been divorce for over 9 years and he did not have a job then. He was driving a truck last I had heard. What do I do to get him to pay and can I make him pay more since he drives a truck now and makes more money?

  • Good dad

    Hello, I’ve been paying child support for 9yrs never late and county made some errors like income tax deduction error $1000 and another time for $1500 went to ex for reason. Which i got CREDIT if i ever loose my job, awesome. Well now after 9 yrs i got laid off and now my credits are taking actions. I’m trying to find a job as quick as possible, because i as well have kids with my new spouse. But of course here comes angry X wife which hasn’t received anything for 3 weeks. She called telling me she’s taking me back to court and I’m gonna have to pay more!! Is that true ? ?? I have no income now….i probably won’t find a job which made like i used too before… and now i have 2 kids with my new spouse…I love all four kids equally … Just saying ,now i got 2 more in the picture…what happens now??

  • Mark

    TN.. I Just receive a letter in the mail that I have to go to court in Oct. but I need to reschedule till next year because I have no vacation and will miss work and loss of income for that day ( can’t afford to miss work ) also it costs me money just to go up there. I now live in Ga. Any advise would be great.


  • Shaun

    i was unemployed for several years.. however i have back cs of 10k the gov. has taken my taxes which is fine. however my 4 children are 25,24,23,22.. recently my job in Florida received an income verification form to my job. my question is are they going to garnish the same amount as they did before when i have an much higher paying job? also, how can i get them to modify payments so i will be able to afford it with this current budget i have?

  • skye

    I see my son equal amounts of time as his mother. she gets Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday. We split half of Thursday; and I have him Fri,Sat,Sun. Our parenting plan is set like this based on my work schedule and her not working. She has applied for state assistance from the state of Washington and now im getting hit with child support. Since she does not work I have Bought All diapers,wipes,clothes,toys,formula,baby food, the list goes on. I can not understand how I still am getting hit with child support if I do all of this and still continue to see and be an active role in the childs life. this is completely unfair as im not a dead beat dad and have been there for the child since day one. I could really use some help/info as to why this is happening and what i can do to stop it as long as i still continue to see my child and support financially on my own accord.

  • ylsis

    Hi, I am currently receiving an amount of $78 a week for my 7 year old son, the last time I saw the judge was about 4 yrs ago and my son is getting older every year is there a possibility that if I go and ask for an increase they might lower the amount? But I have no communication what so ever with the father of the child so I don’t know if his pay is more or less I’m just concerned on the fact that they might lower the weekly amount when I actually need more to maintain a 7 year old child.. Please answer AsAp thank you

  • Leigh

    My X said she will agree to end child support if I file for Modification to end child support but the ONLY option to end child support in NJ at least is to file for “EMANCIPATION” which she says she doesn’t want to do and I googled EMANCIPATION and it said it can not be done unless the child works and doesn’t need support or they turn 18 and will not attend college ,is there a way to end child support without emancipating our child if my X will be working with me to end the child support order ?

  • Bree

    Hi, I just talked to my ex today and he said he was going to try and lower his support payments. I am in Colorado. He is supposed to be paying $446 per month, plus covering her insurance (he gets $150 a month credit for insurance). The support order hasn’t been modified since December 2007, despite his many pay raises at different jobs (started at $16 an hour and went all the way to $22 + commission without reporting it) and lack of holding insurance on our daughter. He recently was fired from his last job and was offered 2 jobs. He took the lesser paying job because he wanted to be his own boss and now wants to file for a decrease. He said he in now living out of his cab and selling his car because the payments are draining him. A few weeks ago he said he was making “bank” and bought a new phone (one of the really high end ones). At this moment, he is two payments behind ($446 is what he owes me). He also still owes me almost $600 dollars from the first time he lost a job and I went easy on him and told him to make it up when he could. That was 3 years ago and he has made no attempt to catch up. He is also not seeing his daughter as often as the court ordered (every other weekend). If he decides to pursue the decrease, what are the chances of the court going ahead with it with all things considered? And if they do, about how much would the decrease be?

    Thank you in advance for any help,

  • Jesse

    My current child support is a lump sum at $850 for two children. No single amount was stated in court order for each child. My daughter graduated from HS and also turned 18. I submitted a motion to modify child support since I now have only 1 child under age and to deviate from the presumptive amount. In NV we have a presumptive maximum amount of $693 per child. The judge denied my motion to modify child support and to leave it at $850 even though the max amount is $693. Judge referred me to district attorney office to make any changes regarding children turning 18. The district attorney claims they cannot make a change to child support unless they have a court order from the judge. Not sure what to do!!! Please help.


  • Jilliam

    I have two children (7 and 4) and I am currently receiving $3,000 a month in child support. My ex husband has a good job and makes about $7,000 a month. We lived a higher lifestyle and decided to allow the children (who live with me) to continue living the same lifestyle… so the child support is greater than it could be. He decided he wanted to lower the payment because he is going into debt and can’t afford to pay that much anymore. Keep in mind that he hasn’t lost wages or anything, in fact he now has a car payment which he didn’t have during the divorce, spent a few $1000 on a different used car. Can he change the child support? I know without good reason he can’t but I am receiving more than I could and I am worried. Thank you!

  • mommatothree

    I think it depends on what your divorce decree and child support order state. He can request a modification every three years, but unless he has a substantial change (like loss of income), I doubt it will be changed if he agreed to keep your children at that standard. Most states expect the childrens’ lifestyles (private schools, lessons, etc.) to remain at the same level, despite a divorce. Good luck to you.

    • Jillian

      Thank you for your reply. The court order states that he shall be required to pay $3000 until the children turn 18 (really it’s $1500 per child). It upsets me so much that he turned out to be such a selfish person.

      • Jennifer

        Let him be whoever he wants to be….YOU and your children are receiving a substantial amount of support!! Maybe make some suble changes with your lifestyle, humble your children and yourself a little? Remember, everything changes and ends eventually, be happy that this man is supporting you.

  • Guy

    How can I figure out what I need to pay in child support? My childs grand mother has custody of our child. I was in the military at the time and could not get back for the hearing and the childs mother was found unfit. I have paid support for 17 years without fail but recently have started going to college full time using my GI bill but do not have a job. The childs mother to my knowledge has never paid any type of support for the child. I am also going to take care of her college when she graduates. How can I go about getting my support payment modified for a full time college student without a job and have the childs mother start paying like she should have been all along?

  • Kenny

    My child has been livin with me for about a long do I wait to stop child support payments?

  • Catherine

    I live in Florida. Do I have to write down on my divorce agreement that I have the right to seek child support modification anytime? or that’s a natural right I have as a Mother/ Primary custody parent and I don’t need to set it in the agreement?

  • eva

    I have a question. My husband has a daughter and pays childsupport by check. There isn’t a court order. She is now 8 years old and he ex stated she going to take him to court and have him paid the past 8 years. Can his ex do that? He paid with a check and can show she cashed every check.

  • Tammie

    If I owe back child support and I want to have a civil marriage, not the same sex, will my spouse have to pay?

  • Cheryl

    My husband and I have a 7 year old and a 5 year old together.His oldest child from his first marriage is 17,and lives with us.
    We just found out this 17 year old is not even his through dna testing!! 🙁

    We are supposed start paying child support again on his 15 year old daughter that lives with his ex wife starting when the 17 year old graduates!

    Since he has paid child support for 10 1/2 years(the 17 year old has only lived with us since Feb. 2011) for two kids and only one of the kids are actually his,will he have to still pay for the one that is his.He has way over paid and was tricked from the beginning by his exwife that never lead on that the 17 year old was not his!We still love him and nothing relationship wise has changed,but to pay her any more after all this seems CRAZY!! Our two children together deserve for things to be better.We have struggled for years because of the exwife’s big secret!

  • Summer

    I have a six year old son and I just got a letter saying I could apply for modification. I’m in MS and he is in LA. I’m considering applying for the modification because now my payments from him fluctuate between 100 dollars monthly up to 245. I am aware that the enforcement amount can be decreased which makes me very weary of applying for the modification. Since my x started paying child support, I have remarried but both my husband and I (I’m a full time student.) are unemployed and on state assistance. My x and his new wife both have full time jobs. Do you think I’m a good candidate for an increase? I know for a fact that I cannot take a decrease!

  • Summer

    I forgot to add that my x husband has SIX children, three of which he has custody and he pays support for two of the others.

  • Mike

    I’m in the middle of my divorce right now and my ex wife has had multiple affairs on me, I just had a dna test done and found out that my 6yr old daughter is not mine, I can’t turn my love for her off!! Is there a legal way I can still see her? My ex says no way….

  • Mike

    I have been married for 20yrs, I’m going through a divorce right now, I just had a dna test done on my 6yr old daughter and found out she is not mine. My question is, is there a way I can still see her? I can’t just turn my love lawyer doesn’t think so, but there has got to be a way..i am the only dad she knows..

  • Tommy

    I have a 5 year old little girl who I love very much, her mother and I were together for 6 years, this is are 1st brake up. It’s been 2 years now and we have a good relationship, actually the past 6 months she has been telling she has feelings for me etc. etc. It’s basically been off an on this whole time. I lost my job 2 years ago cause I missed 2 many days going to court over this, my child support was set at $600 a month I have been paying with unemployment and a part time job. Well unemployment just ran out, can I get my support lowered cause technically I’m only making $150 a week? I do have a small mortgage business but she doesn’t know about it, all the paper work goes threw my dad’s name an I take my half under the table so it doesn’t exist.

  • marie

    my ex husband had custody of our child when we divorced bc he lived in their school district so we agreed to that. He moved away and I moved into her school district so she wouldnt have to change schools. He helped out financially at first, but it was never stable and routine. If he got mad for whatever reason he wouldnt send anything. So, I applied for assistance and thru that child support services became involved and he now pays tru his wages being garnished.
    He has recently moved back, but she has not moved back into his home. She goes on weekends and maybe one day a week. He has petitioned the court to drop child support payments. Can he do this? My financial situation I incurred to keep her in a stable enviroment has not changed.

  • marie

    wish I could afford even the 49 dollars for a reply from a lawyer, unfortunately, this check I received today was only for 52 bucks….not sure why it wasnt the normal amount…

  • Everyones Momma

    We live in Arizona. My boyfriend and I have a 7 year old daughter. He also has a 15 year old living with us. I have 2 kids of my own from a previous marriage. He has 2 others as well that he has a CSO for. The original order was set 8 years ago and he hasn’t made but half the money since than that he was making that 1 year. Each year after that his pay decreased with the same company because they changed commission structure. For the last year he has been trying to find steady work but it isn’t going well. He also has a mental disorder which he has had since an accident 20 years ago, that prevents him from functioning normally at times. He is trying to get on disability because he is actually getting worse. Over the last couple of years I have sent his ex child support when I could but now things have become really bad for me too. Finances are crumbling. And I cant pay my bills. His ex is threatening to take him back to court. Will he be arrested for not paying? He spent a month this year in a mental hospital trying to help him but with his issues, and the fact that work is hard to find right now, it isn’t making things any easier. Also, his ex has had another child with another man who she has not gone after for support. And she has not worked since they split up. Does that effect anything?

  • Kim

    Can you request a modification in your support if the child is no longer in daycare on a full time basis? When the divorce was done the court used the “standard” visitation order, but we both have equal number of overnight stays with the child. ie mom has on Mon takes the child to school on Tues. I pick up on Tues, take the child to school on Wed, mom pick up on Wed take to school on Thur and we alternate every other weekend. Can I also request a modification in the child support?

  • Dutchezz

    Im sorry Debbie I cant agree with that. What type off woman would even be happy with a man if he feel like he marry her but the kids are not his responsibility. Yes you are right those are her ex and her responsibility. But at the same time he knew what he was getting into when he married her. Once they got married by law that made him a legal guardian therefore also his responsibility. I would feel less of a person being married to someone and thinking those kids are not my responsibility financially. And if yall read Colorado comment correct. She didnt once say he should stop taking care of his first kids. She only saying that they got to live too. And i dont care what anyone say, child support is not for anyone to pay their bills with. Its meant for the kids and solely for the kids, and thats not something i made up. I actually got that from the judge mouth. Most people use child support as a sole income to keep your bills paid. You are the adult so its for you to provide for the kids and not spend their child support. And you also cant say those kids are not his responsibility financially, cause if she get a job child support add her income in with his and they will be paying more child support. So you can say how you feel and what you heard, but by law those kids are his responsibility financially now. And if you think I’m bs-ing you, once you finish reading this post look it up.
    tired of ingnorant comments.
    p.s. I really think yall should do some research on info before you pass it to someone else, cause that lil info you give them may steer them down the wrong path.

  • Shay

    My husband and I got divorced in September, He lives in Colorado, I live in Missouri now. In the divorce we set it up that he will pay me. Can I change it to be paid through the courts? If so, how? And will it cost a lot?

  • ROSE

    My husbands ex-wife had requested a modification for their one child. They mailed to him the work sheet of the mother and fathers income and his ex-wife failed to report her social security disability income to the child support agency. The paper work has already been signed by the judge. What should we do?

  • Kay

    I am from Tennessee, and I am paying $280 a month for one child. The situation has changed drastically since the payment was set. When the payment was set, neither her mother nor I were working. Now we are both working, and I am now providing her insurance. I was wondering if this would lower my payments if I were to make an appeal. My money is not going towards my daughter. Her mother pays no bills, has no responsibilities, yet my child doesn’t even have clothes that fit for the upcoming winter. I am really disgusted with the system and strongly feel that this amount is too much for a three year old. I am not sure what I can do about it.

  • jesse

    I have a daughter that turns 18 in a week. In the past I was paying childsupport through the state. Two years ago my ex stopped the case and wanted me to send her the money direct. Well today I recieved a letter from the state of california they want to review my child support case. What happens now? And my ex moves so much my daughter has to go to night school to finish school. What are my rights in this case? Thx

    • v

      A couple of things, one is in your decree does it have an agreement as to when child support will end. When a child turns 18 or graduates is pretty typical. Two do you have documentation that you have been sending payments to the mother. I would be worried that if you don’t, your ex may be able to get back child support. Good luck!

      • jesse

        Im not sure we had decree. If we didnt what happens?

  • Jim

    Hi, I am thinking about getting my family support which I pay to my ex reduced but I’m not sure. The changes that have accured in the last 3 years are: 1. My ex’s income has gone up 40% from $29k to $41k and 2. when we got divorced there were 3 minor children and now there is one. Do you think this is enough of a change to go back to court and see if I can get it reduced? I do make a lot more than her but my income in the same time frame has gone up 3%. I appreciate your time,
    Thanks Jim

  • MJ

    Hi Jim ~

    Google “child support calculator” for you state – chances are you can get a basic idea of what your obligation should be under the current curcumstances.

    Take Care ~

  • CNN

    My husband and his ex wife were divorced in NY in 2006. Since then she’s remarried [as has he] and we all live in Texas now. Her and her husband [along with my husbands son] have lived in South Texas for more than 3 years, and we’ve lived in Central Texas for almost 3 years. My question is, do we have to abide by NY child support laws still paying until his son is 21 or since we’ve lived in Texas for almost 3 years do we pay until he’s 18 or out of highschool? I ask because this woman will do anything she can to financially hurt us as long as possible. His son turns 18 in less than 2 years and will graduate high school at 19 years old.

  • rjexc

    My childrens dad left the state 6 mo. ago to go work a very high paying construction job in various states. He has not willing sent what very little support I agreed to get from him for our 2 teenagers. At the time we divorced he had a lower paying job and he got evicted so I felt sorry for him, so upon signing the divorce agreement, I settled for a low end child support payment.. Now he only has visited the kids 2days out of 6 months. Is making 2000.00 dollars a week, and when child support enforcement finally tracks him down, his wages get garnished and I end up getting around 500 a month.
    I would like to leave the state and return home to my family in Illinois where we are all originally from, Since he left the state and does not help take care of the kids and I have no other support here and cannot hardly make it financially. He will not willfully agree to anything, so do I have a good chance of a modification and the judge allowing us to move?

  • maria

    i live in nyc my exhusband was ordered to pay child support has made no payments still todaynow he states he has high blood pressure my question is can my child support be lowered

  • moguy

    Thats not true.i have a younger son in missouri and the older son is in illinios. the missouri child has had a court order for 5 years. just found out and had a dna test on the child in il. they didnt take the missouri child support into consideration. they gave her 20% of my net income. my wife and me make 55,0000 a year her and husband make. 1000,000 a year. they made no considertion of her income.

  • Emily

    You sound like a bitter second wife. Who cares what you think. You are not the child’s real mother. Do you live with her and know where every dime is spent? Get off your high horse b1tch and let the father do what he is suppose to do.

  • Terri

    Has anyone ever heard of an x-husband being ordered to pay health insurance on an x-wife if it was not in stipulated in their divorce? He has to obtain health insurance for his daughter, this I understand, but the x-wife?

    • Liz

      No in most states he does not. You can get Cobra but you will pay yourself.

  • Stan

    I pay child support for two children, one living in Tennessee and the other living in Oregon. I am in Oregon and the Tennessee order was recently switched to being enforced in Oregon. I want the other order to be set up in Oregon as well. The thing of it is, the mother had agreed with me to sign off or do a nonenforcement of the order as it would be easier for me to help them out this way than depend on the state to send her the money. Now my daughter gets disability and whenever I would discuss the nonenforcement issue now the mother brings up that the disability will be discontinued because it shows they won’t need it if she signs away child support. Does anyone have any information on the truthfulness of this statement?

  • carl

    fu you c$#l women use men for money and take advantage when they have kids to extort more

  • GB

    At this time I have non mandatory visitation rights of 13%. My X husband has turned my two sons ages 11 years, and 14 years against me because we lost All our assets to attorneys and blames me , so as a result its been over a user and a 4 1/2 year battle in court. He gives me no access to them so I continue to have to pay $551.00 monthly, yet I haven’t seen them in a year. If I give up all my legal rights to them will I still have to make child support payments?

  • bill

    My child support payment is $1000.00 per month in New York State I am on temporary disability , andneed my payments reduced for 3 months down to $600.00
    When I am back to work at the end of 3 months will I be required to pay back $400.00 per month that was reduced?

  • Tired of the Drama!!

    I live in GA, but my divorce was in FL… my ex is trying to take me back to court for modification of child support. The CS order is enforced through GA CS enforcement, but they said they can’t help. I can barely make it on what he pays NOW…. How do I answer the petition? Do I need an atty in GA or FL? I don’t even have money for one though!… I drive 6 hrs (half way) once a month for my daughter to visit with her dad… the cost of that takes up at least half of the support I get each month… If they do award the modification, can I request a change in the visitation order? I

    • Jennifer

      Instead of asking for a change in visitation, come up with a win win solution to where you both benefit from a change that could possibly come sooer than you are prepared for, financially.

  • Rebecca

    My 2 children have always lived with me since my husband and I separated. They NEVER have lived with him since. He originally got the court to award him the right to claim the kids on federal taxes. When I challenged this, I was told that if I claimed them then the court would recalculate his support and he would pay hundreds less every month because they would no longer be his dependents. Is this true? I did not have a lawyer at the time and he did. We are in Pennsylvania.

  • Michael

    After reading all the comments, having been through the divorce process in VA and having my son held hostage for more alimony and child support in 2003. At first I was order to pay $3800.00 per month for six years. Now I pay $1095.00 a month. I’m throughtly convinced that the only ones that benifit here are lawyers. All the hoop-la about “Protecting Our Children” is Bravo Serria and Political hipe. I have no problems paying child support. I voluntarily pay for his medical insurance because mine is far superior to hers. When we devorced she claimed she made $20k a year from a cash business. When I know she was pulling in $100K. She has since become a school teacher and makes $50K, and still has the cash business. She claims our son on her taxes because she says she pays more then 51% of his support. but the truth is she knows I can’t afford to pay a lawyer $2k+ to file a motion to request modification. Plus if I did she’d just make our son suffer and claim shes broke all the time. So for all the frustration we feel…. I’m with you on both sides!

    This is why I hate politicians, lawyers and our government system. How can the court rule I pay $1095.00 a month for one child ( I make $70K a year, she makes $60k+ at least), another person pays $1000.00 a month for two kids, and then my friend receives a court ordered wopping $235.00 a month for two children? The manipulation and perversion of our laws is a joke. Doesn’t matter what state your in, It’s all broken. When how much lawyer you can afford ( cause trust me… for all the talk of nobility just they are gonna get paid) dictates how much support you get or pay, it’s broken. Oh BTW… my friends ex-husban makes $100K+ a year…. and he pays $235.00 a month for two children? That’s totally sound and rational right? Ugh!!

    • james

      hi michael i see u got reduce the childsupport and alimony i would like to know how u did it ,how much didi u pay for a lawyer or can u recomend a lwyer for me please? i dont have enough money but i can do an effort to make it happen u can read my case down there.i will appreciate ur help.bye

    • Jennifer

      I agree the judicial is very unfair and the lawyers involved are not looking out for the best interest of the child. They are there to take your money. It appears that your ex is motivated by dollar signs and a strong desire to come out on top regardless of anything. If you can afford the support right now, just pay it and dont let her shit on your parade. It is only money, it comes and goes all the time. If you findt a time that you are up for an attempt at a modification, maybe with you filing the motion, your attorney can request that your ex wife pay his fees!! That would really make her angry! Remember, people who dont feel like they are in control, lose control…

  • Christofer

    If the custodial parent changes daycares and the cost is extremely different, $1000.00 less per month and it would drop the non-custodial parents support payments by $600.00 a month. Are they obligated by law to inform the courts, especially if there is a joint custodial order including educational decisions to be made jointly and they where hidden from the non-custodial parent?

  • james

    hi , i need some help i hope i can find it here…well i pay 2,000 per month in childsupport for my 3 kids plus $600 for alimony in total 2,600 dollars per month but is not just that i also pay the debts we gain with my ex,i agreed with this amount 3 years ago because i didn’t think about my future, now i remarried and my income have changed now i am making less money because i change my job, i want to go to court to see if i can decrease the child-support and alimony i don’t know if i have possibilities to win the case i wanna discount 800 dollars of the total amount i give every month and i wanna ask for my ex to pay some bills also because she doesn’t pay for anything. i don’t know if you can give some suggestions.and how i can hire a lawyer without paying a lot of money or how i can do the process for my own. thank you very much .

  • Briana

    I’m a mother of two… I have been taking care of them by myself for 3 years bc their dad was in prison… In Jan I took child support out on him so he can help me take care of our kids… When we went to court in April he was ordered to pay 311 and 14 for arrears a month bc he had no job… He was paying which was great but in October he quit his job and filed to have his child support modified…. Now since he quit I have recieved less than 90 dollars in 3 months…. His put in the paper the reason he wants it reduced was bc he has the girls more than me … He has no money to spend on them when he has them (both lies) and he has to pay his lights and rent ( I too have bills which I’ve had to get two jobs to make ends meet and take care of our girls) My girls live with me and see him on the weekends bc my things is can he do this? Can he get out of paying what was awarded to me and my girls? He says he has no money but him and his girlfriend always has something new on but my kids look like they are needy when they are with him… I need some advice I go to court Thursday…. I’m doing all I can and have since they were born and he hasn’t … If he is paying something even if its not what was awarded can he put in jail? (by the way we live in TN)

  • Shannon

    My question is: Me and my future husband and I live in Florida and he pays child support to his ex of $1,100 a month. They got the court ordered when she was 1 years old. She is now 6 and a half and he still pays that amount. We were thinking of modifying because she now is with us 50/50, he pays her health insurance/dental, and she doesn’t go to day care now. The reason I ask is because she has another baby now with her boyfriend, and she is always spending money on the newborn and my step daughter comes to our house with holes in her shoes. The money is not going towards what it should be. Any advise?

  • Melody

    I would like to file for a modification of my divorce and i have been a resident of TN for more than 6 months, can I file here in the state of TN? also i am trying to remove custody of one of my children from my ex husband completely because he is not the father… can I do this? he has been there for her for the last 3 years but it is too much confusion for her now and I would like for him to not be in the picture any more if i can get away with it.

  • RyJak1

    In aug2011 i was orderd to pay 110.65 a week for my daughter.i have a wife and two kids that live at home with me.since the order i cant pay my bills on time or in full.i have had to ask family to barrow money bc i just cant do it all.i work a full time job and live 2.5hours from my daughter who i pick up and drop off every other weekend. can i get my suport lowerd so i can pay bills and feed my kids at home? i had to go apply for food stamps just to feed them.and if i get a 2nd job they will just raise my support.? HELP!!!!!

  • Trez

    I was paying $550 per month for one child. My ex-wife sent my daughter to her parents home in Georgia to live August 3rd, 2010. I brought her back to California on August 17th, 2010 and she lived with me till October 5th, 2011. I never modified the court order. My daughter is now a student with job corps living on campus in San Diego. Can I fight the arrears if my ex files a motion for it. Oh, by the way, she just filed for a continuance of current support althought my daughter does not live with either parent.

  • emotional draind

    My boyfriend and his ex wife have been divorced for 7 months now. In his court order he has to pay $185 a week and pay half of their extra sports and things up to $500 a yr he gets all 4 kids every weekend as per court order,he’s never missed a payment or failed to get them every weekend. She quit her job or got fired im not sure cause she lies so much,but anyway she is always harrasing us about wanting more money and now she is threating to take him back to court to have child suport raised,Can she do this if he hasnt done anything wrong?

  • Tooty’s mom

    Will the judge lower child support if you have another child to support?? My husband and I have a 2yr old but for the past 2 yr he has been paying child support to his ex for their son and he has not mentioned at all about our daughter when in court. He seems to think it doesn’t matter that he has to provide for her too. He told me it would only matter if he was having to pay child support for her separately. I beg to differ.

  • Kelly

    My ex wants to petition the courts to allow him to stop paying child support on the grounds that he re-married and now has a step daughter to support (no special needs, just a regular kid in public school). Can he do that? Is that a valid reason to stop paying child support to his kids?

  • asb1219

    Ok, i have a question about stopping child support. My boyfriend of 10 yrs. has been paying child support to his ex, for his son, but his son has lived with us for 3 yrs now. She (the ex) has been saying for the last year and half that she is working on getting it stopped, but we havent seen any changes or anything showing us that there is a change trying to be made. I want to know, does he have to get a lawyer to get the modification, or can they settle it between them with a judge? She (the ex) has been claiming the child on food stamps for this entire time as well, i think that is one reason she hasnt tried. We do not want child support or back child support from her, just want to stop paying to her shild support for a child she does not have nor support in any way.

  • a little mad

    there is a family of four living in the same home (mother, father, and two kids) plus the father has two kids from previous relationships that he pays support every week to two different women. The father is the only one who works because the mother stays home with the children because they are having medical issues, but the mother also attends college. The family of four also recieves TANF, Medicaid, Food Stamps, Section 8 Rental Assistance, and HEAP. The father is obligated to pay a total of 34% of his pay check every week to the previous women (they both get 17%) Is there away for this amount to be lowered because we are not making it with the tiny amount of money we have. Its not enough to pay our bills and we have two kids in our home we have to support too. Its really depressing seems how we never have money to take the kids anywhere fun or even out to dinner. I just dont understand why we have to pay so much money when the one previous women makes double the amount of money the father does. please give me ur suggestions.

  • What can you do

    My husband and I recently got married. He is retired military. and pays over $750 bucks a month for one child. since the order decree for this amount was over 7 years ago and since then the father has paid it every time… but he has had a job change and changes to his status as he now also supports a family in addition to his son. He would to get a modification of a decrease … would that be possible . he is not even making what he used to make. When this decree went into affect she lied and said she was not working yet she works.. She also now has a one bedroom appartment which she has 2 sons and 2 fathers she collects child support for … I dont even think this is legal taht she can stay in a one bedroom with a boys that are 10 and 16. His son looks ragley every time we see him. We have bough him clothing in addition to the child support , given him shoes , brought him sneakers and so on.. as when we see him he is wearing his school uniform on the weekends, hungry, and in need of a hair cut every other weekend when we see him.
    The mother has also mentioned placing him in a boading school… can she do this ? If she does can he get him out ? If he is living at a boarding school that she doesnt pay for does she still recieve child support for a child that only comes home on holidays and some weekend visits…
    What can he do. Previously he tried to have the order modified but they said she doesnt work. Which she did. Shes also claiming the boys on her taxes.. If she doesnt work then how is she claiming the kids this legal… What are his rights as the non-custodial parent in this case.

  • GivePraise

    My husbands ex-wife has been giving us problems since 2008. After their divorce, they agreed that he pay the babysitting fee each week of $75.00 instead of just paying her and her not even working. They equally had the children. They rotated every two days and every other weekend. Right before we married, he told her that he was not going to pay the babysitter for her to take them and her not working on welfare. So he started paying her directly. Of course at the time that he I got married, he moved where I was, 15 miles away from them and she started her physical custody duties. She takes it upon herself to pack the kids up and move them out of state without okaying it with their father. So now we have to drive 20 miles further than we were to pick them up and we shouldn’t have to. The children have been moved 4 times. 2 times coming back to the same place which is a shop. . The “home” does not even have bedrooms for the children. They sleep in the same bed with their mother (ages 7 & 9 boy and girl) and the bed is in the open. It was just last year I believe that they got plumbing in the “home.” Aside from living in the shop, 2 other times living with a temporary boyfriend, and they have gone on vacations with other boyfriends, not to mention one that they didn’t even know his name just last year. My SS never wears decent underwear, they are either bleached out or way too small, no socks in the winter or coming without a coat on. They usually look like they fell out of a goodwill store. Now the ex wife has another baby to care for. Yet still has not found a decent job. She has begun complaining about how much it is costing to raise the children and we need to adjust her child support according to his raises. And she needs a cost of living raise for the children. I will honestly say, he NEVER once had a raise. We pay the money biweekly. We together have two children and my husband also was laid off from his job in October due to doing away with his job. Luckily found a job within a month but also took a HUGE paycut and longer commute considering it was hard enough living on the previous jobs wages. But we do it WITHOUT welfare. She believe that he was constantly recieving raises and assumed he was making over 1.50 more an hour than he actually was at his previous job. He has never had a raise the whole time we have been together. We are both in school. I am in law school so I do not work. Now she is taking him to court for a modification if we don’t come off of some more money. To me she is not supporting her part of the children by not working. The list of things she is saying the kids do and need to do is beyond crazy for someone who doesn’t work. Dance, football, cheerleading, baseball, softball, trips. Christmas just passed and the following week she messaged saying the kids needs new coats and new shoes while she claims to have taken a loan out from someone to buy them new Nintendo 3DS instead of what they need. They already had regular DS game systems. Is it just me or does someone else see a problem with this. I never once complain about paying the child support but her begging all the time is disgusting.

  • Sara G

    I was divorced in Florida. I lived in clearwater and so did he. He moved accross the state in Palm Bay. I was told he was not allowed to move more than like 60 miles away. He saw the kids twice after he moved. I moved out of state in July and now he threatens me with kidnapping charges. Is that accurate? He has given me 180 in 3 years. Do I have to go back to Florida to modify my parenting plan or can I do it in the state I live in?

    • GivePraise

      Sara, From my understanding from my lawyer, you will have to go back to court in the court your papers were originally filed. Im still waiting on this moving away deal to see what can be done. We see his kids every other weekend and get them during the summer.

  • Corinne

    My Ex-Husband remarried and combine their collective income is huge. Can I take him back to court to increase the child support?

    • atlastwhits

      @ corinne. It’s women like you who make a man life not worth a shit. No her income doesn’t count. Did she bare these children? No, you and him did. So get a job, accept what you get, raise your children right so they will never have to go through this crap. Don’t raise them to live off a man. My mother didn’t and I am glad she didn’t. Maybe things would work out for some parents if women would just stop being so cavemanish and be independent.

  • kblue

    I live in Nevada and was wondering how do you unfile child custody when the parents reconcile? We are wanting to try and make this work. We still love each other and are willing to do whatever it takes to keep our family together, counseling, parenting classes whatever. Anybody know how this works in the state of Nevada? I have called numerous numbers for help and I just get the runaround

  • Rudy A

    You bitches need to get a fucking job. Most of the child support don’t even go to the child. It goes to the bitches expenses.

  • BM 3

    My baby father has 5 kids including mines. 1 before he got married 3 with his wife and now my son and his wife’s last baby girl for him is 2months younger than my son. She has him on child support for his 2kids with her and I am about to put him on child support for my son. He lives with his mother and she lives with the kids I guess they are suppose to be separated but she found out about me and email me informing me that she just found out about me and what to let me know I am messing with her husband and that they are still together! Lets bare in mind she told me that she placed him on child support because he left her to be with someone else…….. Now she says they are back together and me and her was pregnant at the same time its a messed up situation because I didnt think I was signing up for all this headache I dont need being that this is my first child! I was told that if the court found out they reconciled and that they had another baby her child support will stop is this true? ((Bare in mind he is not providing for my son like she should.)



  • You Think


    Sounds like he is working his ass off!!
    I suggest you DO THE SAME!!
    He is paying what was ordered…

    • amanda

      I believe you should try harder for a job. He has a life too and dignity. He works so hard so his life is worth it. You getting childsupport, you should be happy with what you are getting.




  • GivePraise

    Corinne, usually unless court ordered due to the father not working, the new wife has no responsibilities to your child support. It is based on yours and your exhusbands collective income during your marriage.

  • amanda

    My fiance has three children that live with his ex. She never complies with the court order of visitation. Hr doesn’t make very much money a month either. He also contributes to the bills and he gets food stamps. He is also going to school to get his GED so he can get a better job. We recently recieved a order for modification of child support, insurance and visitation. Will they make him pay more? He really is feels just crappy bringing home 88 dollars a week. They take half of his paycheck every week. We don’t have any children and his ex lives at home with her mother and like 10 other people. What can we do? We know the girls in poverty but their Mom also isn’t working and has another two kids with someone else. What can we do? He feels as though he is losing his girls because she won’t let him see them and he still is also paying child support. The kids never want to visit either. She has them so messed up in the head. Why arent their any assistance for the fathers? He refuses to just be a sperm donor but she makes him out to be one.

  • amanda

    What do ya’ll children have to do with her money? She probably makes good money and you want to tap into her resources? Thats just flat out evil. You seem into it for the money. Luckily her money should have nothing to do with the payments so please stop trying to boost your play money and realize you aren’t going to tap into that poor ladies funds. Are you working? Do you let your kids visit heir father?

  • aw

    We’re in a shared custody, 50/50. My ex took our son and I our daughter, so there is no support involved. Neither of us are employed but have remarried another. My ex is filing bankruptcy and I’m concern for our son. Will I be able to claim support if I gain full custody of our son?

  • RT

    My children are late 30/31; I have arrearages unable to pay and half my check taken, can’t hardly live. They laugh about it. I have hardship to pay and want to know if there is relief for me. Mother married living on ranch in Oregon. I live in Fl, case is California. I also have a 16 year old in another CA county, and need help desperately.

  • mitch

    My ex bought a duplex and is recieving atleast $600.00 a month rent, We both make the same amount at our jobs. Is that $$ considered income for her and could it change things when she starts nickle and diming me for extras? She claims the child on her taxes and gets all the money. I pay child support, half the daycare, half medical.

  • Nique

    How often can u file for a child support reduction the state of louisiana? Court ordered child support was November 2011 and he filed for a reduction on January 2012.

    • Nique

      And also how soon can u file?

  • Phil from S.Carolina

    I am going to court on Thursday Feb.2,2012 after just being served Jan. 26. Here is my delimma, last year I was working for 2 different companies not at same time one from business being closed then 2nd I was fired. I am now working for a diffrent company making a substantial smaller amount of money now all documented on check stubs. I am a self employed truck driver and in my industry pay flucuates weekly and is all documented . The 1st company I worked at in 2011 I amde an average of 650.00 per week for 3 months we got a new account and I got paid 3500.00 but it ended when we lost the account. I increased my child support ( by the way we are not legally divorced but have been separated for 2.5 years due to her not wanting to agree and things and money for attorneys) but I have always paid her cs everyweek). We both agreed on an amount when I was making good money in those 3 months I gave her extra and also paid for all 3 boys school clothes, shoes, book bags ,school supplies because I ahd the extra money. All documented of course. My youngest child needed turoring which cost me 600.00 for the month which I paid on top of regular child support I also gave her 800.00 to help her move in a new townhome because she didn’t like old apartment on top of regular cs. When the company Iwas working lost the account I could no longer pay the larger amount so I went back to paying the amount we agreed together. She and I discussed doing uncontested but she wouldn’t agree to stuff so that’s why we have put off for 2.5 years I don’t have the money to pay for contested but she has made the choice and I was served. My question is my 2011 gross income shows 107,000 after legal deductions for my truck( taxes, fees, fuel, maintence etc..) my adjusted gross came to 41,000. I no longer work for that company and I am working for a company where I make 650.00 weekly. So how do they figure what my cs paymnet will be I have court date Thursday Feb. 2,2012. This is our first court date. All my statements show how much I make, my reduction in pay came way before I was served and i didn’t know I was being served thought we were gonna try and work it out. She has a live in boyfriend for a year now I have proof and pictures. I don’t care about that I am happy for her. Im just hurt and scarede;are gonna use my last years tax retrn but I no longer work for same company.Can anyone tell me how it works in South Carolina Like I said we have not gone to court ever we agreed for ourselves until she just served me. And she is asking for alimony ahahaha

  • Tee

    I live in FL but my divorce was in GA 4/2010. Initially my CS was $700/month he filed modification about 8/2010 months later stating he was unemployed. His modification was approved to $360. How long do I have to wait to request increase in CS. I think he is either working again or is receiving social security disability. He stated end of November 2011 his unemployment would end in Decemeber 2011. He has been paying the lower amount in January. How is he paying if unemployment ended and he says he is still unemployed. Apparently he has income from some where.

  • kevin

    I need help I pay 460 for cs 250 for before and after school daycare, plus all the extras, this is for 1 child. the issue is i have two other kids at home and we are living paycheck to pay check and now she went to family maintenace to get more. which if she gets her way ill have to pay another 450. if this happens we will lose our house what do i do.. not that it matters but she has lots of money and she keeps sucking the life out of me and my other kids. not to mention this was a one night stand and she never told me about my beautiful boy till he was 7 months old… im scared and lost and honestly cant afford a lawyer

  • Colesmilez

    Me and my husband had a child in May 2011. After finding out we were having our own child my husband’s ex took him for child support on his 16 year old daughter which he has been paying for support for all her life without the court system. My question is now that we have our own child how can we get the support reduced??? Please help! Thanks **This is the for the state of PA and we live in NC

  • kimberly

    if im getting remarried will that effect my child support im receiving from my ex? we live in southdakota

  • Jennifer

    my ex is trying to modify his support beyond the petition date and ask the court to wipe all the arrearage away. i read that it can’t be done , is this true?

  • NYer

    I live in New York State. My ex-husband did not agree with the new amount the judge told him to pay so we are going to trial next month. In the mean time, I have the opportunity to file my income taxes but I am concerned that if I do, the judge will use that to determine his CS payments. Can that happen?

    • mitch

      Your going to pull in ALOT of money when you claim. Are you planning on splitting it with him??? If not they may very well look at that.

      • NYer

        I do not have to split it with him… in the divorce he can claim 2 of the children as dependents every other year..this is his year… on top of that, he sold his house in December. If anything I should ask the court to make HIM split that with me!!! But I won’t. I only want what is legally fair for the children. Don’t always assume that the woman with the kids is the one impoverishing the man who helped create them. He took everything, has been making twice what I make and paying only enough for 1 child cuz he did not report the increase in his income to the court, nor to me LAST SUMMER. My only concern was that he was going to get away with paying less than what our kids deserve. NO HATE OR PREJUDGMENT REPLIES PLEASE… I am looking for someone who would have experience or advice in this NYS support matter.

  • Jesse

    How do I try and modify child support payments if I no longer live in the state it was originally granted? It was granted in Illinois but I live in Florida now..

  • matt

    I live in Oregon. My son turned 18 and graduated July of last year. He was poisoned by his mother and basically wants nothing to do with me. I am a good guy and have always tried to let him know that. I pay my support on time, send him things in the mail for birthdays, christmas, etc. Anyway, Last year I notified him that I would not continue child support until he provided me with proof of his college attendence. This is in accordance with ORS 107.108 – He ignored me. So after 30 days I cut the child support off. It is now feburary of 2012. He has FINALLY sent me a letter 7 months later saying he is in school and I have access to his records. I have 2 questions. – 1) when do I begin making the payments again, – immediately or do I start in March? – And 2) Am I responsible for back support from July of Last year? – I am thinking that I am not since he did not follow the ORS which states that support can be suspended until proper documentation is received by the Non-Custodial parent.

    The sad thing here is he went through Oregon’s Child Support Services rather than just provide me the documentation. So it’s obvious they told him the same thing because I finally got something in the mail.. But what sucks is now I THINK (?) I have to pay CSS directly and they take some of the money out of what he gets as SERVICE FEES…..

  • Mike

    Look it is what it is. There is nothing fair in this business in the courts. My ex-wife was a compulsive gambler with a mental disorder documented by several mental health professionals. She ran my business into the ground, destroyed by previous miltiary career by gambling, shop lifting, credit card fraud, check forgergies, etc….!!! But guess who has the children – ain’t me. Talk about justice – do you think that served the children’s best interest? What does that teach the children? I am sorry for you but frankly – not too much.

  • James

    I want to forgive my ex arrears of child support, which is through the DCSE in Virginia. She has struggled taking care of her two other kids as a single parent for many years. She also suffered medical issues, which lead to her being unemployed for many years and the arrears stacked up. I don’t want her to pay back all the arrears and I want to close the case. How can I close the case and get the arrears waived? BTW, we both now live in Florida, but the case is still with DCSE in Virginia. I read somewhere that I would need to write a letter asking for the arrears to be waived. Can anyone tell me what exactly the letter should say and any other information that should be included. Thanks!

  • feeling hopeless

    I’m struggling to make ends meet working as a CNA. I was hired as “full time” but have come to the realization that to this place full time may only be 25 hours a week. I have 3 children 2 if which live with their dad. I have sol custody if the 3. I’m lucky to bring in 1500 per month the x makes over 6000 & wants 500 cs. My daughter & I live with my folks & can barley make it. The court where cs was filed refused to “visit” my case in 09 when I became unemployed, just stated I needed to go where i could get full time employment to fullfill my obligation. I ended up having to move almost 800 miles so I could do this & am still unable. Is there anyway to get this reduced without a lawyer, because I know my ex won’t agree to ANY reduction.

  • wondering

    my child’s father is 17 and i was wondering if he will be made to pay child support ? he is a great father and does alot for her & i feel as though he shouldnt have to pay child support cause he’s in her life & do help me support her. we’re in the state of tennessee

  • Laurie

    I got divorced in California and have resided in Florida for the past 7 years. My ex is not making payments timely and I can no longer afford to send my daughter for visitation 3 times a year (what I agreed to in order to leave California). Can I get this take care of in Florida without going to court? I cannot afford an attorney.

  • Samone

    My names Samone. My father was ordered to pay child support awhile back but he lost his job about 2 years ago ever since then he hasnt gotten another job and refuses because the state automaticlly takes money out of his checks and ever since he stopped working he has been running the streets and is on drugs, I recently got married and im 6 months pregnant and im no longer in the care of my mother. Im now 17 ill be 18 in November. Basiclly my question is, is there anyway I can take him to court myself when I turn 18 to get the money I deserve. This man has put so much emotional stress on me and I dont want anything to do with him because of the pain he caused.

  • Rolen

    More than 5 years ago, my son’s mother took me to court for more child support. I wrote up all my finances, went to the judge, and he didn’t bother to even look at my expense report. Not only did they increase my payments by about 150%, they also put my son on my insurance, which bumped me up to the family plan, which was also about a 150% increase in health insurance. I couldn’t afford an apartment so I had to move out, and stay with friends & family. Being this broke has taken a huge toll on me and put me into severe depression. I work hard every day, have a decent job, make decent money, yet I’m homeless, and can’t afford to fix my car. She on the other hand has no intentions of finding a job, and just plans to live off child support with her expensive new car, new 2 story house with expensive furniture, 60-something inch flat screen TV, a ton of pills & party drugs, and likes making a habit of sleeping until 3pm every day. She also had another child with another man and she took him to court for an increase in that support as well. I cant even afford a place to live, but I need a place not only for me, but for my son when I have him. I desperately seek advice on what I can do to lower my payments! I can’t live like this! I’m the one that has the job, yet I’m homeless! She hasn’t worked in years and lives like a queen!

    • GivePraise

      FIND A GOOD LAWYER! Take notes, keep a journal, and take her down! I’m a woman myself, but I have learned more single women USE their children for money and won’t get off their lazy rear ends and contribute to the support of their children also like they are suppose to. My heart goes out to you men who have to deal with these situations.

      • GivePraise

        Let me point out that I did NOT say ALL single mothers.

  • wondering

    My husband has a court order to pay 28% of the difference between his salary and hers. We have shared custody and have the kids truly 1/2 the time. She now wants to change it to the straight 28% because she states due to health issues she cannot work full time (which is a crock) Can this really be altered?

  • Rennea

    I have tried working with my ex to readjust child support sometimes we can and agree and then we don’t. Our last modification was over 5 years ago. I have two children ages 10 and 12and my oldest is permently disabled. My Ex is in the military and has not lived in the same state as us for over 7 years now. I have not gone through with filing a modification because everytime I propose it to him he does not agree and as he is married to a Lawyer he automatically says let’s go to court… I do not have the financial means to pay a lawyer. I am a single mom with 2 children and everythinig I have goes into making a good life for the 3 of us. Now he is getting ready to Deploy overseas for a year… this was a voluntary deployment. Recently my financial hardship has become increasingly more difficult to resolve and I am not getting anywhere trying to work directly with him. My question is if I start the process of modification now and it is not able to be resolved until he is back from Deployment 1 year from now, will he have to pay me back pay for the difference in child support for the last year? Currently he is paying me $1200 which may seem like alot but I pay $900 a month to Daycare just so I can work fulltime, when I used the Washington State Child Support Calculator online using my paystub and his pay information from Military pay charts it says that he should be paying me $1687 which includes his portion of the Daycare. Please help… I don’t know what else to do, I have spent the last 10 years negotiating with him because he says he cannot afford it or I am just money hungry… However he drives a $50,000 truck has a brand New motorcycle and just built a new home with his wife and I am still driving the same car I have had for the past 7 years a used Toyota 4runner with over 200,000 miles with oil leaks and other maint. issues I cannot afford to fix.

  • marlee

    I have an 8month old son. his father at the time of me filing for child support for him did not have a job and we were on bad terms. now our court date is in a couple days and we are on much better terms now and he has a job. I was wondering if there was any way to cancel having him pay child support? or what do I do when I go to the courthouse and what do I tell them? any help would be appreciated.

  • aljackie

    My daughter’s father has not visited his daughter in four years and does not pay in Indiana. Now he wants to all of a sudden start visitation again and it was him how stopped showing up in the first place. She doesn’t really even know him and does not want to go for visitation, she is 12.

  • Jan Nobody

    God ,I wish that book was free,I am sick of my fiance’ getting the shit end of court hearings,all she wants is more more money,she don’t work,my stepson is 16 and we are going back cause she wants more.We are struggling as it is,barely making rent.I think the system is corrupt and bias to only one party.Thanks Travis,going to look into that book

  • David

    I am paying over a $1,000 in childsupport for one child and i have three other kids in my house hold and make less due to a move from one state to another i have continued to ask for modifications and its like im being force to pay this out standing amount.

  • frustration

    Unfortunately the system doesn’t care about “your” bills,they feel that the child ‘s father should pay pretty much for everything,enough that it keeps a roof over their head and food on the tablwe.even if the mother is a lazy piece of work,doesn’t work,collects off the government and doesnt do anything for her child herself.Sorry going through the same thing and it’s very frustrating to bearly make ends meet,have a child of our ownm we are supporting,willing to have my stepson come live with us.And she just seems to get everything handed to her.Going back next month because she wants to up the child support again.should just try working herself for a change.I work 40hours a week,have health insurance I pay $110/week on,which covers shit and she collects a ssi check,child support,food stamps,mass health and brings home more than me a week,after all my taxes,health insurance is taking out.Good Luck.You find a way in between all the corrupt loopholes in the system in helping you and your family out.Let me know,because I am sick of being on the losing end

    • love my kids

      wish i found a judge like husband keeps having his support lowered..and never ever sees or helps with his kids……

  • N8DGR8

    Ok, I have a good question. I live in Virginia and my mother and ex have 50% physical custody of my son….. myself and my ex pay my mother Child Support, soon my ex will have full physical custody. We have an agreement that I will have my son for the summers and pay for any school related things and during the next insurance enrollment he will be added to my plan. we both want to stop the Child support payment through the state. My point is hope can we do this? I have no issue paying the arrears in full but we just do not want to deal with the Department of Child Support Enforcement.

  • mauricio

    Can I request that 50% of each child support payment i make, be saved by the Child Support Office for my Childrens College? Why is there not a Child Support College Fund created by the Attorney Generals Office of Child Support?

    • kids rights

      College expenses are paid above the basic child support amount, so you are allowed to use that child support now. you can file a petition to ask the other parent to pay a share of college on top of basic support

  • Jenna

    I have been divorced for 12 years from my 3 childrens father. 2 years ago, my 15 year old son decided to go live with him. His father got an attorney to handle the child custody and support changes. Now, it appears the child support was never modified (he likely never finished paying the lawyer) and is now insisting to have it cancelled for my son. I have no problem with that as I had already agreed to lowering the amount from $370 to $200 a month to help with my other 2 children still in my care. However, now he is wanting to cancel the support obligation for my son and modify it for the 2 girls because he owns his own business and hides his assets (hasn’t filed taxes in the last 3 years) while I work 60 plus hours a week and have increased how much I make by completing my degree and so forth…. which he sees as a great opprotunity to get out of paying support all together since the court will review BOTH of our incomes now. All this is happening because he hasn’t paid anything in 8 months causing a contempt of court hearing to be set. He is afraid that he will be going to jail again (would be the 3rd time for nonpayment). I feel like he is going to claim he doesn’t make anything, his business is ‘failing’ which I know it is not (my mom lives a block away and sees the traffic coming and going from his business), he lives with his mom and on again off again girlfriend to avoid paying rent, I called the IRS each year that I recieved nothing because I am sure he is not paying taxes correctly — which then leaves me with no proof of his income BUT he can prove mine….which will make the support go WAY down while allowing him to continue to get way with not supporting his children. Since I have not signed the ‘suspension’/cancellation letter, because of the above issue, can I avoid having to provide my income? Is there a better way to prove his income? I want to be fair and be able to look at our incomes apples to apples verses the cost of living for each of us and try to come to a common ground on what he should pay (since he has one of our children and I have 2) but I don’t know how to be fair when he is hiding his assets?

  • Colleen

    I was divorced and child support agreement in Indiana. I received permission to move to Illinois over 7 years ago and have been living with my children in Illinois for now 7 years. I would like to know if I would like a modification in child support should it be Illinois or Indiana?

    My ex was out of work and I lowered his support to $200 a month to help him out. He has been back to work now for 2 years and will not increase it and I do not have the extra money to take him back to court in Indiana. Illinois is a flat 28% which would be a great help to me.

  • Jennifer

    My sons father has requested an adjustment (he is allowed after 3 years) but at the same time he JUST switched from a good job to a job making around 6 dollars less on the hour. While calculating the modification will they take into consideration the fact that he deliberately is taking less money? He was not fired or laid off. This is in Ohio…

  • help in Louisiana

    my children’s father and I were together 7 years but were never married,we had 2 children. he was in an accident and we were both out of work which put a strain on our relationship, also his family were causing problems as well. they convinced him to end our relationship and evict us. he returned to work after his injuries had healed and we went to court for child support he pays $1300 a month for the kids, the support order is not enforced through state agency he gives me a personal check twice a month for the amount.We stayed split up for a year but communicated frequently and decided to attempt reconciliation. I became pregnant with our 3rd child and we moved back in with him we never had the order modified and he continues to give me the money in which i use to pay for all the childrens needs the electric bill phone bill and groceries and household items and my car insurance. I do not work because the cost of daycare is so high it is cheaper for me to be a stay at home mom at this time with a 5 y/o a 3 y/o and now a newborn. recently we have begun to have relationship problems in many area but he states the biggest issue is the court order and he cannot continue the relationship if it isn’t dropped. I completely understand where he is coming from and would have no problem dropping the order. my concern is how do i go about doing that and what happens if i drop it and things don’t get better for us and he asks us to move out. will i be able to request a reienstatement of support for the older children along with an increase to include our third child or is there a waiting period if you suspend the court order. I’m just trying to find a solution that will help my try and save my family but if that doesn’t work not put my kids and i in a bind financially.

  • tim19

    My girlfriends exhusband had agreed to stop recieving her CS when her back CS was caught up. It has been repayed and he agreed to give back her income tax money. He has since changed his mind. We have text messages with him telling her that he would give it back. Is there anyway legally to get the money back or are we screwed?



    • THINK


  • Lisa

    I must say I’m loving these “woe as me” stories from all these custodial parents. Hey, I got an idea for the CPs…if you can’t take care of your kids then get a second job!!! (what??? you can say it to NCPs all day long!) if you can’t afford to take care of your kids then give them to someone who can, like maybe the dad you all complain about who’s supposedly so well off! And for the disabled complainers, kindly remember you’re NOT taking care of your kids either, tax payers like the ex you incessantly complain about are taking care of them! And last but not least, if single parenthood is so tough then do one of two things: stop being so dumb as to marry a loser OR stop getting divorced!!! Oh yeah, and by all means, feel free to stop complaining out of one side of your mouth about how hard having full custody of your kids is, while on the other side you’re begging borrowing and stealing to keep it! Your body your choice!!! DEAL WITH IT!!

    • kids rights

      what do you mean taking “us” back to court….you have nothing to do with it and should stay out of it- these guys think that they pay support…that it is all kids need…

    • kids rights

      some us of do not marry deadbeats, or want divorce..but the dad decides he is bored with a family,leaves, and doesn’t want the kids to have what they used to…and keeps trying to have support lowered..many of you say the moms keep wanting more…my husband received a raise, my pay was lowered, and i never took him back to court…yet he took me to court in december and february to lower his measly payments..all of us women are not the same..and I never thought all men were the same…only the ones who leave and hate paying for their kids

  • mama

    i must be doing something wrong because I am the mom, full custody, dad doesn’t see or help with them…and he somehow got child support lowered in december and temporarily again in february…I work full time and so does he….so, i wish i could find these judges that side with the women…i havent’t yet…and he is the lieing cheater who abandoned his family…

  • mama

    must be doing something wrong because I am the mom, full custody, dad doesn’t see or help with them…and he somehow got child support lowered in december and temporarily again in february…I work full time and so does he….so, i wish i could find these judges that side with the women…i havent’t yet…and he is the lieing cheater who abandoned his family…

  • JerkedAroundDad

    I am ordered to pay support for 18 yr old child as long as she is a full time student until she graduates highschool or turns 19. Two months after turning 18 she withdrew herself from school. The school claims they have to wait (anywhere from 2-4 weeks depending on who I ask) for another school to request transcripts before they can issue a paper declaring the change in her full time student status. From what I have read on similar forums it would seem that the court considers her a full time student as long as she “demonstrates intent” to enroll again in a timely manner. How long does she have from the date of her withdrawal until she can no longer claim she is trying to return to school? She has already failed her classes this year by skipping classes and exams and not turning in her work. She recently signed an apartment lease with no job and seems to think that as long as she says she intends to go back to school in the fall to repeat her senior year that she will continue to get support until she turns 19 even if she is not in school between now and September. Her mother wants nothing to do with her since January when my daughter mover out, and the mom simply forwards the support money to my daughter.

  • Nikki

    Personally, I do not believe in child support. I was a single mom for most of my daughters years at home, not once did I ever ask for child support from her dad. I didnt want his money and I didnt want him having to be forced to do the right thing. I looked at it as he knows what the right thing is to do, if he doesnt do it then he doesnt. I didnt think it was fair to me or my daughter for him to be forced into paying child support and having her respect for being forced to do it, when at the same time I was breaking my back with 2-3 jobs for my daughter and earning the respect from her that I rightfully earned. He only helped us 2x from a lifetime of much needed help. With me not forcing child support from him, my daughter seen his true side for herself and how hard I worked to make up for his lack in his responsibility for her, to this day she has no respect for him for not helping. Now if he was forced to pay, then she would have have this fake person and he would have had her respect thet he didnt rightfully earn..As you can tell I do not believe in child support, I think it is unfair and wrong on every level. I know someone now who pays child support, his older son he pays but the boys mother doesnt work and put in her share of the finances, all she does is have kids by different men, collect child support from them all as she just sits home and lives off of her kids money, now really, what kind of responsibilities is she teaching all her kids? what kind of example is she setting? She should have to work and help with the financial support just as much as the father has to. This whole child support thing is all one sided, one parent has to pay while the other can just sit back and keep collecting and living off her own kids money.. How is this even right? its not. If it was up to me, I would totally shut down child support all together. If a parent wont work to help raise that child, then they dont need that child, give the child to the parent who can financially support the child and who will teach it some morals, responsibility and set a good example..If the one receiving child support is disabled and cant work, then they probably cant do much parenting either, think about it. Again, this who child support thing just makes me sick. The real dead beats are the ones getting this support and leaves their life at that, but when the other parent cant pay, there are consiquences. Where are the consiquences for the parents collecting this support and not putting in their fair share of the financial responsibilities living off their childs money?

  • Nikki

    why force him to pay anything? do you want your kids to respect him if the real him wont pay? I was a single mom, never wanted child support from her dad, I figured he is old enough to know what the right thing is to do, if he chooses not to do the right thing on his own, then our daughter will see her TRUE dad and know what he is really about. He has no respect from her because he chose to to give us a penny, now if he was forced to pay child support, then she may respect a man that didnt rightfully earn her respect and he would be at the same level as me when i have proven myself to her that i was more of an adult then him and my life was about her.



  • yolandaq

    I am 15,000 dollors in thwe hole I went 8 years not knowing i owe child support. i found out almoast 3 months ago. They have now transvered my case to interstate child support. are they going to throw me in jail

  • Annette

    my fiance went to court today over getting insurance on his kids….nothing about an increse was brought up by his ex to the AG. but the AG scheduled an increase court date. can they do that? i thought the other parent had to request it?

    • Brad

      AG represents the children, not the parent so they can do anything they want, regardless of what the parent requests. If you can avoid it, I would never step foot in AG court. Hire a lawyer and stay out of AG court.

      • Annette

        thats kind of hard for him….she bribes the kids to ask him where he works and what he makes… they say it has to be atleast 3 years before an increase….i swear every 6 moths she tells him shes taking him back for more cuz she knows he get raises….i think it’s BS….. my ex tookme to court to have his 258.00 paymet lowerd with his new better paying job telling them he had stuff at home to catchup on ,and when they incresed it…to 800.00 he all of a sudden doesnt work as much hours. Go figure!!!!

        • Brad

          My ex told me how much I make and I said none of her business since we aren’t married anymore. She said her lawyer said she could ask me anytime and I would have to tell her. I told her to get another lawyer.
          She decided to play a sneaky move and get AG involved. Doesn’t cost her a dime plus AG court is pretty much a slam dunk no win situation for anyone who has to dole out CS. I decided to get a lawyer and file for CS change. I have the kids 50% of the time and already pay a nice chunk and she doesn’t work (gets paid off the book) and that won’t fly when we got divorced. It’ll show she does make money off the books.
          What I didn’t realize is that AG can take you to court anytime, I was told it didn’t have to be 3 years.
          Also it’s not three years from divorce or when you were last in court over CS, it’s calendar year. It’s best then to fight it out earlier rather than later in the year.
          Hopefully by forcing my ex to pay $ for a lawyer it’ll teach her if she wants to sneak through AG court then I’ll end up taking her to real court where she has to pay $.
          We shall see, never know what a judge will do. Hopefully my worst case is nothing gets changed so then I’ve got another 3 years until it can be modified.

        • Annette

          my ex wants half of my retirement… so he can pay me back what he owes me in back childsupport. ive had the same 2 jobs for 13 years.hes had 7 different jobs in the 10 yers we were married….and the last 3 years of our marriage she didnt work at all…..he sat on his behind and bummed off my family. When i wouldn’t give him money to party with his friends he beat the crap out of me and at one point i suffered a busted jaw, 2 black eyes and a broken rib…so i gave in and gave him money to leave me alone….so honestly i dontthink he deserves crap.

  • Brad

    I don’t know where you live but in Texas they see it a community state which basically means what you make is 50% his and what he makes is 50% yours. So while I (or you) can be the only one working legally half your paycheck is your spouses. What’s mine is yours and whats yours is mine. If one spouse doesn’t work that doesn’t matter probably because for many years typically the woman stayed home. It’s a silly law since now more women go to college and are in the workforce but as I’ve learned is that while the court system says it’s all about equality in most cases the women get treated as helpless. The guardian AL recommended I have majority custody of my daughters but the judge went ahead and ruled a joint custody. What if the guardian had said my ex should have majority? I know the judge would have granted that. If I had pulled the stuff my ex did I would have had to probably live in a card board box but because she’s the mother they can get away with being emotional, lie and basically do anything and chalk it up to “being a woman”.

    Life is not fair but hell since I’ve been single I couldn’t be happier. Do I think I need to pay child support to someone who has as much income (her’s is hidden) as I do? No but I look at it as a piece of mind. If I was given a choice to pay nothing but be married to her and live with her and the kids I wouldn’t trade it.

  • baird

    i live in ohio my son dad pays his child support sometimes he gets be hind he pays me 158 and are sons 5 he has two kids that are 12 and 6 with another women pays her 450 a month and has another thats 16 months he pays her 300 i tryed to get them to lower it for him he only makes 150 dollars a week and works 45 hours a week he still getting behide because they cant take it all from his check he living on the streets can pay rent to live i no its his job to take care of them but he should be able to live to i dont understande why it so hi for the other two and mines lower and im married to him what can i tell him to help please he lives in ohio

    • Brad

      first in line probably gets the most amount of money is my guess

      So have one child and make x amount of money they’ll take y amount

      Have second child now he makes x – y (take out CS from first child) and they base it off that to get z

      Have third child now base amount off of z

  • Theresa

    My fiance and I just had a baby that is 4 months old now. He has also been having to pay child support for his 10 year old daughter since she was born (never married the ex and about $400/mo.) Last may 2011, child support was raised to $725 plus $75 arrears a month cause he got a promotion in his job but I was also pregnant at the time but his attorney said that didn’t matter. Anyway, he was finally able to get visitations going again last august 2011, and we found out that the child doesn’t have any new clothes, doesn’t get to do/go anywhere, and has never been to the dentist! The ex is now re-married and has 2 additional children in a home owned by her mom (grandma.) The ex only works 3 days a week and the husband hasn’t worked in 2 years! So basically, my fiance is supporting their whole family with his $800 a month in child support. My question is: Can he go back to court and lower child support because we have a baby now and our mortgage raised $250 a month? And since my fiance makes 4 times more than his ex, the child support for one child is $725?!? Is that correct??? How come his daughter isn’t getting proper care and clothing with all that money given to the ex each month? We want to help give things to the 10 year old daughter but can’t afford it cause of child support. How is this legal?? Please help.

    • Brad

      As soon as you realize that CS is pretty much a scam then you’ll be able to move on in life, I did. Not only do I have my daughters half the time but I also pay 1k a month in CS. Does she spend it on clothes, school supplies, etc on the girls? Heck no! So not only do I have to pay for my girls clothes and stuff when they are with me I pretty much have to double pay since my ex won’t hold up her end of the bargin.
      It’s tough to PROVE that mom doesn’t spend $ on clothes, etc on the kids. Words don’t mean anything in court. You’ll say she isn’t while her lawyer will say of course she is, you just want to lower the CS payments! She’ll she she pays cash for clothes, etc. for the kids and turn it around on you. So, lets say you are a judge, how do you know who is telling the truth? You don’t so in that case a judge won’t RISK the chance of lowering support and therefore hurting the children in the long run. Just pretend for a moment the ex isn’t lying but telling the truth and judge just decides to not believe her w/o proof, that will hurt the children.
      The system for the most part sides with the mom. Divorce courts are pretty much the last institution that doesn’t view women as equal. They need help from the man, they don’t earn as much as the man, not educated as much of a man, got stuck in life because of a man, etc. so the men must pay! Of course it’s proven more women than men go and get degress from college and are more in the workforce now than men but the courts will need another 15 or so years to catch up to that.

      What I do is think “Would I rather give 1k a month to my ex or nothing but I’m still married to her OR she’s ALWAYS calling me screaming for money?” I’ll take the 1k and leave me alone Alex!

  • frustrated

    HE can get his child support lowered because she married.Now they will go by both their incomes.Read up as much as you can on the child support system and process,it really helps and for the fact you are here,shows u already started.The other thing when you go to court ,bring your renters receipt on how much you pay a month,what you pay if your child goes to daycare,ect.Unfortunately it really doesnt matter that your have a child together(im in the same boat) the 1st child that is “without”the father is all they”the system”cares about.File for a motion to decrease as soon as possable because it takes awhile for your court date to appear.Also on another note(I am engaged as well) if you get married,she is also entitled to an increase in child support cause they go by both your incomes,unless you are lucky enough to be a stay at home mom,then it wouldn’t matter because you dont make any money ..
    Good luck,the system as pretty much put us in a hole,i hope it works out better for you.I believe in paying for your children,but it isnt suppose to make it so the dad has a hard time paying his own bills(because he restarted his own life too).just saying

  • SickAndTired

    I have a couple of questions, and am totally fed up with the system
    First a little back round. I pay child support in excess of 1300 per month for my two children. We have joint custody, but placement is with my ex. First I must say that both my kids don’t want to stay, and most of the time they don’t stay at my ex’s house. Even when they do stay at her house, they don’t go over there until 9:00pm, and they go there just to sleep. When they get out of school, they come straight over to my house. I pay for all clothes, any extra money needed, and basically anything my kids need. Now, I’m not complaining about them coming over by any means, and actually I’m quite grateful of that. But, it does increase the financial burden on me. As I have to supply the extra food, and not to mention the time of taking care of them. Can the child support be adjusted, just on this alone, but my story gets worse. My ex doesn’t work, I have to pay for her health insurance, and on top of that she has a live in boyfriend that doesn’t work, and is actually going to school. It seems as though my child support is to support him going to school. My ex doesn’t have a phone, no internet, and no tv, and the only way to get hold of them is to call the boyfriends cell phone, which I’m paying for …. Probably….. not to mention, I pay for cell phones for my two kids…. so that I can get hold of them…… On top of all that I pay all marital dept…. When the split happened which wasn’t pretty….. my ex maxed out every credit card I had. She was court ordered to pay me monthly for the dept owed, but I haven’t seen a dime, and I must pay off these bill’s which account for another 200/300 dollars per month.
    Here come the questions:
    1- Since my kids rarely stay at my ex’s, can I get some relief from child support, or any other kind of relief…… meaning placement…
    2- My kids child support should not be used to keep a roof over her boyfriends head, so that her boyfriend can go to school.
    3- In the divorce settlement, she was entitled to half of my 401k’s. Which I thought was fair. But, my ex still hasn’t taken the money, and my fear now is that it is growing; she’s going to get the current value and not the value at the time of the settlement.
    Keep in mind, I don’t want to keep my kids from their mother, and welcome her to see the kids, but I shouldn’t have to pay for everything for her or her boyfriend…. I’m only asking that she go her way, I go mine…. And let me I continue to take financial care of my kids… as I do now…. but only better… as I only make so much money…

  • Barb

    Does the Support order ruled in Indiana (until the age of 21) remain the same if the child (3 children in this case) hasn’t lived in Indiana for almost 10 years? Meaning, is it still ruled until the age of 21? Custodial Parent moved kids to Michigan in 2002.

    Also, one child is going to a Major University for a “Medical” degree in the Fall, in Michigan of course. We were told and Custodial Parent has threatened Court proceedings if we do not pay for at least half, and maybe more of all College expenses on top of Child Support. This is not in the divorce decree by the way. Non-Custodial parent still resides in Indiana with limited visitation, due to Custodial Parent prevention.

    From what I understand, Michigan does not require until the age of 18, nor require Non-Custodial Parents pay for College.

  • Barb

    Sorry for the type-o

    From what I understand, Michigan does not require until the age of 21, nor require Non-Custodial Parents pay for College.

  • Miss Elaine

    Kids Rights?
    It is every bit of a new wifes buisness on what expenses are going where. My husband had his child support set up very high because he recieved mineral rights…roughly 400 a month for one kid who’s mother makes almost 20 dollars an hour after he payed all of her college ,which is what she gets because the oil check is always there, so now that the oil is gone we need to have it reduced. Sounds like your one of those gold diggin ex ho’s whos exhusband is doing you Realistically, a man shouldnt have to live pay check to pay check so ex can live comfortably. If you believe so than your just another selfish bitch. His ex even has the audacity to ask for more money for school clothes and supplies…really? What the hell is the chil supprot for because it for the childs expenses not the mother’s.

  • Hanging In There

    Coming from a mom and a stepmom, don’t spend all of your time worrying about what the other parent is doing with their money, what they are driving, or how they are living. You were ordered the amount of money they judge found fit for the care of your child(ren). If that does not seem to be enough then take on another job. It is not the kids that are high maintenance, it is the parents that make them that way. Some of you, if the other parent gets behind one week on C.S. you are quick to call the law. Don’t! You are not the only ones with problems. Remember I am on both sides here so I understand it all. But what you CP’s don’t understand is the NCP has to put a roof over their childrens heads, clothe, feed, provide shoes, toothpaste, underwear, socks, shampoo and utilities also. Just because the cost of living is going up, doesn’t mean that there is a whole lot of “cost of living” raises happening. The economy is bad, that means if you can’t make it on what you are given, CUT BACK. In case some of you missed the meaning of child support, it is to help you provide for the children. It doesn’t mean “Spend it all and ask for more”
    No one can tell me it takes 700-1000 a month to take care of a child. Unless the n.c. parent is behind on their child support and they are out blowing money on new vehicles and trips and additions to their homes, don’t worry about it because you are only hurting yourself worrying about it. Sounds to me that they care that their children are taken care of if they stay caught up. Those who have ncp’s who are behind. I wrote mine off a long time ago. If they are thousands behind, chances are we are never going to see it, so I never even think about it because I know I have done a great job for 10 years taking care of my daughter WITHOUT help and never complained one time.
    For the ones who are wondering about the ncp marrying into money…unless the ncp is not paying their child support then the spouse will be the responsible one to pay based on the ncp income. C.S. is based on the cp and ncp’s income. Not ncp and their new spouse.
    Young children do not require much. As they become teenagers and become involved in more, then try for it if it is possible go for a raise in child support to HELP YOU cover the extra camp and uniform costs on the activities like football, cheerleading etc. Girls are the most expensive! Modifications every time you turn around does nothing but make you appear unable to provide for your child. The rest just seem to have personal issues with the other parent that you should really overcome because you will feel a huge amount of weight lifted off of you when you do and just won’t care about the small stuff anymore.

  • MAS

    I have full split custody. According to our decree, everything is split 50/50, except when I went to mediation I was told by my lawyer and the mediator (a retired judge) that I would have to pay childsupport. I offered to pay insurance and my ex spouse said no. She is a teacher and I am an assitant principal, so because I make $13k more than her, I pay $550 per month to “equalize” our incomes. Is this common?
    To make matters worse, I am thinking of a drastic career change and I want to go to law school. If I do that, I can’t pay child support. My initial offer was to keep splitting medical bills 50/50 and I would sign over my disability check from the VA to pay half of my kids (two) insurance and she said no. Now, if we have full split (week on/week off) custody, would the court make me pay if I am going to school full time and working maybe part time?

  • A27610

    My wife and I have an order of support for three children from her previous mairriage. Two of the children we support recently turned 18 and are due to graduate in May from high school in May. Under VA law (where the children live with their dad) child support can be stopped when a child turns 18 or when the graduate from high school. My questions is do we need to hire a lawyer to change the order to only supporting one child or can we do it alone through the courts?

  • Carol

    Our son is 18 in April 2012. Child support is ordered in our state till child turns 19. Recently my Ex filed for modification of CS. He was laid off. Which makes sense to modify, I am agreeing with him. But I filed a Response to his Motion to Modify. I asked for proof of income for the new job he was working. He found a new job 2 months after being laid off. I also asked for proof of his severance pay from the job he was laid off.This is where it gets a little confusing. I filed for Emergency Motion to Modify CS in 6/2010. He was ordered to bring in his last 3 year of tax returns. He never showed up to court. The judge raised it $400 a month without him in court. I am disabled I have stage 4 Ovarian cancer and I am terminal, 3 years ago my Oncologist said I had about 6 months. Well here I am still fighting the cancer using chemo as a bandaid. I am very ill. My Response to Modify CS asked for the last 3 years to be paid in arears although I have no motion in effect his tax papers state that he has been making $350,000.00 instead of the $222,000.00. His wife makes more than him, they live a very lavish life. And they should its their money. But he needs to pay what he is suppose to. Instead of hiding his real income. No wonder he did’nt show up to court in 2010 he obviously didnt want to reveal his real Income. My Income has been $1022.00 a month since I became ill. Not a penny more. He pays currently $1764.00 a month for our one child. We go to court in 2 days. Do I have a chance of getting the arrears? My son and I live on tight budget because my prescriptions and medical bills are very expensive. I dont qualify for any medical assistance. Im mad but not bitter, I wont be around much longer but will do what it takes to get this money for our sons college. Adleast I hope! So do I have a chance for arrears?

  • Dee

    My soon to be ex owes over $16,000 in arrears. When my children turn 18 will he still be responsible to pay?

  • nicolette

    WOW, you are a greedy individual!! Why don’t you get a better job and show some appreciation to the man who’s been giving you that much support for your children. Be thankful you receive anything at all. It’s people like yourself who need a reality check. Hopefully this smart, hardworking Dad will take you to court and not only have the support lowered but possibly suspended for a few years. My fingers are crossed for your x.

  • Need help FAST

    My ex and I have decided to reconcile and the kids and I are getting ready to move to another state, where he is, and I need to know how to temp stop child support payments. He owes arrears and knows that he is still responsible for that money but I need the currents payments to be stopped. How do I do it? I don’t know what I need to do to stop those? I need it to be done fast he is in the hospital and possibly may need surgery so I may be having to leaving in the next couple days

  • Becky

    I’m in FL. My husband told me 2 months ago that he wanted a divorce. He left to be with another woman, and her 2 kids. He just bought her a ring, and plans to marry her as soon as our divorce is final, papers haven’t even been filed yet. He plans to adopt her son to get his child support lowered for our 5 children. Can he do that?

  • It is what it is!!

    At the end of the day, child support has replaced the feminization of poverty with the masculinization of poverty or the poverty of family since in most instances the male is the breadwinner. Child support renders a man in many cases unable to support his current family at the exspense of the old one. I wonder if Clinton would have ever signed the child support enforcement act if he thought there was a chance Hillary may have filed against him for Chelsea after his infidelity.

    What really eats me is the misplaced anger and rage I feel with the overall situation which spills over to my kids. I know what I am about to write is wrong, but this is the reality of the situation.

    I pay child support and I am current, $0 arearrs, however I can’t remember the last time I spoke to my kids. I used to work with men who owed child support and witnessed first hand the debililtating treatment they receive from authoritative agencies and the demeaning treatment from child support whose interaction with these men is always tense because child support is alway threatening them, even the ones who are current, with snactions such as suspended licenses and jail time. Who would want to do anything under those conditions?

    I told the mother of my children, while we were still together that if our relationship didn’t last for the long haul, and she decided to file for child support against me, that I would sever ties completely with her and the kids. The inevitable happened; at first in the beginning, things were ok, we had a verbal agreement for me to pay her $400 a month. That lasted for a few years until I started another relationship. Once that happened, erratic behavior insued, as well as jealousy (by the way, she re-married prior to my newfound love).

    Even after her marriage she would make inappropriate statements. To make a long story short, she began not letting me see the kids when we agreed and would make it difficult for me to speak to them on the phone putting time limits on our conversations and things of the sort. It got to a point where my interactions with her became so tense that I just stopped calling her and the kids. She refers to the kids as “her” kids and only allows them to call when they some sort of financial need.

    I find myself getting angry with the kids because they are a reflection of her. I know its wrong and I shouldn’t be angry with the kids, but I can’t help it. Anything associated with the kids mother is totally tainted to me right now including them, and I want nothing to do with them anymore. I will pay for this later in life, I know, but child support sure ain’t making nothing easier. I was cool with the whole situation until the threatening letters from child support started coming. I don’t really think child support helps with regard to attachment and bonding. The sole focus on financial support which benefits the mother the mjority of the time has the potential to put a wedge between alot of male parents and children. This is the impact that child support has had on my relationship with my children. I pray that I’m able to overcome my frustrations. But for now, the way I deal with it is through disassociation and out of sight out of mind.

    • ML

      Friend. I can tell you that i pay child support. $900 a month.

      Child support and child time of possesion are two separate things.

      If you can not see your children because of problems with the other parent, depends on how much you care for your kids and what your really doing about it to improve the situation to have time with your kids, and, how much you really care for the Ex.

      There is a Childrens Bill of Rights, for the kids that both parents have to follow.

      Both parents have the right to take each other to court if one or the other is not following a court order or utilizes the kids as tools. You have the right to a court hearing on anything you feel needs to be decided by a Judge in Court of Law.

      Spend time outside the kids house, along as you dont step a foot on their yard or property. Kids have the right to see you or come outside to see you, etc

      Oh, and if you are already with another mate, that my friend is another issue you need to resolve. Because at any given minute your new mate might nit even want you to spend time with your kids.

      I believe in that child support should be used in the best interest if the child. Of each payment, 50% to their daily needs and 50% to a child college fund account.

      Look it up on face book and join the group if you believe:

      Child Support College Fund Account

      Objective is create a group that can push policy maker to addjust law to have the Child Suuport Office to create accounts under each childs name where money can be saved for them utilizing portions of their child support payments, which can be dustributed at the time they turn 18 and or enrolled in a college.


  • It is what it!!

    Also the thought of someone telling me how and when to interact with my children, and forcing me, under duress to pay a specified amount every week is frustrating. The mother of my children didn’t go to child support because she needed it, she went because she wanted to stick it to me where it hurts, and that’s the bottom line. I admire the women who are able to deal with the father of their children without the Nazis.

    • Barb

      I feel for you It is what it!! and guess what?! I AM a Mother who got child Support only sometimes… But I also am a Step Mother and we are living with very little….she by the way is remarried also to a Very Well Paid Business Owner HIMSELF a Dental/Dental Surgeon..So, of course the kids have to keep up appearances with our $$.. I just want them around as much as possible, and to be able to bond more with their Dad, but it is also getting very ugly now too…..

  • Nunya

    I live in the Mid-West with my husband. Immediately after his ex-wife left, she moved with the two kids out of state. I believe he agreed to this at the time. She has since remarried and moved again, to another state. My husband pays 100% of the travel expense to have the kids fly here at least twice a year. Four round-trip tickets per year, minimum. We are thinking of making a major life change that would affect his ability to maintain the current amount of child support he pays (at least for a while), not to mention the travel expenses. The question is: Does he need to seek an attorney in the state where HE resides? Or one in the state where his CHILDREN reside with their mother? Thank for any advice!

  • DaddysGirl

    My ex-wife moved to the West Coast and I got custody of my daughter during the school years (Sep to May) while my ex-wife has her during the summer (Jun to Aug). Our divorce agreement is I pay here child support (20% of my net pay) during the summer while she does not pay me anything. This seems unfair to me. Can I have our child support agreement modified. I was kinda forced into this agreement so I’ll have majority custody of my daughter. Thanks.

  • jennifer

    My fiancee pays child support to his exgirlfriend for 2 kids,but one the kids does not live with her and she is 15,(she is currently living with her stepdad,her mom and him are going thru a divorce).I just want to know if she is not living with her mom then should he not have to pay support for her??I understand that he made his bed and now he has to lay in it,I just don’t see the point of him paying support to his exgf if their daughter doesn’t live with her mom

  • Theresa

    Hello, I have a question I am hoping someone can help me out. My husband put in modification papers months ago to have his child support lowered, because his income changed dramatically and also we have a 2 year old baby. Right now he is paying about $ 800 a month and he doesn’t even get to see his children (mind you that he has a court order stating he is to have visitation with them and split the holiday / summer / etc between the two parents). I called the Child Support office and I asked for status on the modification forms and they stated that the mother is currently moving into a different county and has to wait for the address change to set in, and then the entire modification process has to start all over again. Does that make sense? They advised if I did not how this is being addressed to contact a lawyer to have the paperwork process moved faster. Also, how does my husband go about getting a record of how much he really owes (he lost his job he had for 10 years and didn’t have an income for awhile so he is now paying back child support as well) ? We also think she has a friend in the system that is helping her as well, which is something that needs to be addressed. Can I contact the attorney general or will we need a lawyer? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you

    • Mauricio L

      I believe that children should have the right to 50% of child support being provided and that they should have the right ti save that percentage for college. I believe that the non-custodial parent should have the right to make this request. We are all tired of judges not making the appropriate descision to the best interest on rhe children. That legislation is not in place and its needed now, in this modern world. Have you state senators and legislators submitt their Bills to congress. “Hear our voice”

    • ML

      Too all of you with paying too much child support. Look up your states district representatives and look up your states senators. Send the letters or emails if your concerns. Let your voices be heard and stop crying, and do something about. It may take a while, but at least you opened some eyes and did something for what you believe is wrong…

  • Momof3

    My husband has 2 children from a previous relationship. We recently went to court and got custody of 1 of the 2 children. The court then said they would modify the order which they did he now pays for 1 child instead of 2. What do we do to get order stopped completely.

    • Jen

      Why shouldn’t the other child have support? I dont understand what you mean when you say you want to get an order stopped completely. The only way to stop the order I would imagine is to take the second child away from the Mother, which I’m assuming she isn’t a fit Mother if her first child was taken away from her. If she has custody of the second child your Husband is responsible for both his children no matter what.

  • Concerned wife

    I live in a very pro woman state…… and yes for the record I am a woman! I was a single parent for years, and the father of my children was ordered to pay child support but did I recieve it was another matter. I worked 2 jobs to support my 3 children because thats what should have been done, for heavens sakes I help create them! Moving on….. I am now married to a wonder man who supports 2 children from a previous relationships…… This one welfare mom and mother of his youngest (whom is 11) is 36 years old and works at a low paying fast food job…… ok whole story her lawyer 10 years ago told her to do this because she would receive more in child support that way! WOW REALLY!!!! My husband has never been behind in child support and I can go as far as saying that he has never been a day late! So she takes him for a modification stating that she just cant make ends meet on the $324 a month she receives from him……. seriously she works less than 20 hours a week and testified in court that she is well bodied to work full time but just doesnt see the need! So the court is wanting to up his child support by $500 a month that make his total obligation $1200 a month for 2 children….. he only makes 500 a week…… I am concerned that if this increased we may lose our home. Ok lets all get real it DOES NOT take $800 a month to support an 11 year old child……. so your telling me that this is suppose to be 50/50 so it takes $1600 a month to support 1 child! HAHAHA well come arrest me because I have 3 children and I dont make $4800 a month to support my kids!!!!!! Seriously if you are married we all know that it doesnt take $1600 a month to raise your child!!!!! Shame on all you greedy moms out there that think that the father should give give give maybe you should think about moving your butt and providing as much as you say he should!!! I would love to see you match what he brings into your home to support your child! Shame Shame Shame…… this discrimination has to STOP!!!!!

  • Nikki

    CONCERNED WIFE….I coulnt agree with you more. Thats what I have said all along.. But however on the same note, I just dont believe in child support period. I too was a single mom, at one point I worked 3 jobs, never once did I ever ask for child support, I felt his true colors would be seen through the eyes of the child. If the other parent pays on their own, then they rightfully earned their childs respect, and if they dont pay on their own, then the child or children knows what that parent is really about. Forcing people to pay is not fair. If my ex was forced to pay, then he would have been just as respected as me when I earned it. Him not being forced, he didnt give us a penny, so now he is not at the top of respect as I am.

  • Brad

    If you are looking to get a second job try and get one that’s off the books, if not, then your ex can end up getting more, that is, unless they are already getting the maximum allowed.

  • Concerned fiancee

    My soon to be husband has 13 yr old daughter. He has been divorced from her mother for 10 years. Although there is a court agreement, he pays his ex directly. Because of this there is no record of his payments with the child support office. Since we have been together (4 years), I have made sure he has kept all reciepts, deposit slips and so forth proving what he has paid. But the 6 years before that could be a he said, she said and I’m sure the court would believe the she said. Anyways, if we get some sort of document together that his ex signs will the court accept this? As the court shows, he owes 35,000 in back child support, but he has paid that and more. We only have receipts for about 18,000 over the past three years. His ex is pretty amicable, could she say something to the court that would help?

  • Mommy1

    I was divorced 10 years ago. I have three kids. My ex is making 25k more a year then when we were divorced. My child support obligation according to calculations is suppose to be over $600 a month than it is now. I’m not a greedy person but dang these kids are getting expensive and COL is going up. He sees them once a year and never calls them. I already share the tax exemption with him even though I don’t have too. I applied for help through texas oag but not sure if they can help me modify the child support. I also have been accepted into a nursing program and am now not working so I can attend that come June 4th. Can he use that against me as a reason it should not go up?

    • Brad

      According to your calculations? You’ll need to contact a lawyer who will tell you if you have a solid case or not.

    • ML

      To the person about the nursing programs, kids and child support.

      Kids do not necessarily need to live with you. Parents with custody of the children get greedy. Kids have the right to live with either parent. If you have are having personal issues with your own life, ask the other parent if the kids can go live over there for a while. Just make sure that it starts during he summer so you do not interrupt the school year. Judges do not like that.

      Whether its in town or out of town, kids have he right to live withe either parent. We as parents are so evil that we utilize kids as tools in order to pay child support or get child support. The truth and reality is that it doesn’t need to work the law says. The law is there for parents who can not come up with agreements, thus affecting the kids way of life.

      Now, at the age of 12 kids can decide in court where they want to live. At the age of 14, kids can pretty much decide where they want to live, go and not tell you. Although your still resposible for their acts since they are under age. Normally when that happens, the kid or the other parent fills out a form and submits it to the court, gets signed and that it…

      I pick up my kids, pay child support and go to school. So i do not see how you have a problem.

  • MamaBear

    If you were divorced ten years ago, it may be high time to have your support order modified. Also when the kids turn twelve, as they do get more and more expensive. A judge may look at your lack of income and impute income, which means they will hold you responsible for an amount you could be earning if working, but likely your support would either increase or stay the same. Good for you for going to nursing school, that is a valiant profession, and you will earn a nice living to support your kids, when you are done. I certainly don’t see that as “having personal issues with your own life”… Sheesh! A dad that never calls his kids and sees them only once a year may not be the best parent for them to live with. I don’t think a jusge would hold it against you that you are trying to better yourself by getting an education, this will help your kids in the long run. Good luck to you and ignore the haters!

  • MamaBear

    If you were divorced ten years ago, it may be high time to have your support order modified. Also when the kids turn twelve, as they do get more and more expensive. A judge may look at your lack of income and impute income, which means they will hold you responsible for an amount you could be earning if working, but likely your support would either increase or stay the same. Good for you for going to nursing school, that is a valiant profession, and you will earn a nice living to support your kids, when you are done. I certainly don’t see that as “having personal issues with your own life”… Sheesh! A dad that never calls his kids and sees them only once a year may not be the best parent for them to live with. I don’t think a judge would hold it against you that you are trying to better yourself by getting an education, this will help your kids in the long run. Good luck to you and ignore the haters!

  • Michelle

    Me an my kids father have 7 kids to take care of.He had a real bad alcohol problem and now has a soon to be 2 year old whoe is paying chil support for.The lady that is getting the child upport for this baby is not her legal guardian.The child mother uses dugs and has several kids and recently had the last one.However,he is paying $102 plus all medical bills through his job.It has put him to the point to where he can’t help me take care of our kids and barely help with bills.One check a week can’t even pay a cilco bill.The lady that the baby is living with has income.Our boys can’t gt their hair cut or nothing no more that will make them look decentgoing to school.This lady my fiancee’ has the baby by,has kids and then just lets a family member take them and they get the child support for the kids and when se needs some money,they give some of it to her and she doesn’t work.His job requires mand atory overtime so it is impossible for him to get a second job.I hve been taking my oldest childs’ income and pay for bills,rent and such an I am looking for a job because I had to have surgery a few months ago and didn’t get a chance to get LOA Papers.What can we do I know this is not right?…?…My kids by him are suffering and we only get $548 in foodstamps we don’t get welfare.

  • MamaBear

    You could try to get custody of his baby if you care about the child, but it doesn’t sound like you do.

  • chris

    If the ex-husband is ordered to pay child support for two children and the condition it would change, is either the oldest is turning 18 or end of graduating school year. Then he would be responsible financially for one of them for the next three years. Who’s responsibility is it to set hearing for a modification of child support and when ? The ex-husband has still not done this. It now is 10 months later. A hearing date is now set. The ex-husband adivised his attorney that the wife did not want to modify it and to take her to court. The ex-wife did not do this. The ex husband was lazy and waited to long to set hearing date. Is the ex-wife responsible for paying back the extra child support monies for the past 10 months ? If so, does it have to be paid in full at hearing date ?

  • If you are in need of guidance in the legal system and pro-se litigation services for divorces, custody issues, or modification of child support, give me a call, I am here for you .

  • Esmeralda

    If my exhusband is a General Contractor with multiple Licenses and has a non profit organization . He has the ability to generate more than 1200.00 a month as his income He is taking me to court requesting a child support modification and reduction. Can the judge believe that he is only making 1200.00 a month and lowered his payments. He is supposed to pay me $300.00 a week and this is $1200.00 a month since last year he voluntarily reduced and only started paying 600.00 a month for three kids.

    • Brad

      Able to generate more money really is your opinion. Heck you could generate more money, anyone can. What the court wants to see is proof of income, not “I think he/she can earn more and so should pay me regardless of what his income is stated!” If that worked then why not say he could earn 10 million a year and you want CS to reflect that?
      A judge can believe it if his tax returns and bank statements reflect only making the amount he is saying he’s making. Meaning, the tax returns could say he’s generating 1200 a month but if his bank records shows cash inflow from somewhere else then that probably won’t fly.

      I’m on the opposite end, my ex had multiple degrees but uses her mother as a source of income since she’d rather get more $ out of me from CS than get a job and get less or none. What she doesn’t realize yet (going back to court soon) is that getting money from parents is income and does count.

  • Marisa

    Based on our support order, my x is responsible for health insurance. If I waive this and handle medical costs on my own, will that change increase my support payments?

    • Brad

      I don’t see why since increasing it will be the same or more he has to pay out vs. just paying for the kids health insurance.

  • Mauricio

    In regards to health insurance: in joint custody cases, Both parents are responsible for providing medical insurance. If not one, then the other. Courts rule depending pn was sideof employment offers the insurance. Either parent can make a claim to the other parent regarding any extra out of pocket costs. Now, it may be different from state to state and it may also be a different regulation under the attorney general guidelines.

    Are you preffering to get your own insurance for the kids or is the ex asking it to be taken off in order to save some cash?

    Either way, law requires both of you to have medical insurance on the kids, regardless if you make a big ordeal or not.

    • Brad

      I pay health insurance for my kids and at least on my health plan paying for just myself vs. myself and kids is minimal so I would assume your ex would fight having you start paying it PLUS basically having him foot the bill with increase CS.

      Pretend your ex is paying $500 a month for his and his kids coverage and on his health plan for single coverage is $400 a month. He will save $100

      Now if his ex demands more than $100 why stop paying for health insurance? Plus the ex only comes off a greedy and ultimately is using this to garnish more $$.

      Finally since the ex husband has been paying to this point he’s got a great case to just continue to pay (more stable, always paid, won’t change, etc.)

      Now if the ex wife wants to do the fair/right thing and simply wants to now cover insurance for her and kids since her ex has been for a number of years I am sure they can work this out easily but something tells me this is a sneaky way to get more $ which I can’t see working.

  • Marie76

    the father of my 5 year old son very rarely pays the court ordered amount of 200. a month,
    he owns his own business as an outfitter and has quite alot of women who stay at his home and in his bed whom he meets online as “clients” (that’s why i left him, he cheated with married clients and was physically abusive to me) he still wants visitation for this summer, that normally would be a good thing yet our child is mostly non-verbal (autistic) and only once before did dad have him alone, read somewhere in these posts that a parent should know who is in the house. the father of my child didn’t even let me know last time he had left our then 3 year old son with some “client” from europe that he barely knew, was court ordered to have liberal phone contact w/ my child during visitation so he could hear my voice and know that mom did not abandon him, when calling last visit got “f&ck you b*tch!” by dear ol’ dad, now i know
    even though he’s as deadbeat a dad as one can be (he can afford new horses,dinners out,vacations though not 200. monthly for son) he still has the right to visitation just think a mediator is needed since he is so verbally abusive and a liar worry about our little boy, want the state to get the support from him also since he attacks me verbally and hangs up when i ask if he is sending the court ordered child support sadly the court states he is to pay directly to me the custodial parent so he gets away with not paying and whining that i harass him over it, NEVER agree on payment directly to you it always gets messy!

  • Concerned wife

    Child support is BS……. its pretty darn sad to see I want “more” I need “more”. Furthermore sad that when my husband went for a modification because the mother of his son requested it after 11 years of paying on time payments that the court uses MY INCOME as income into the household and then says he is a single man!!!!!….. ok people I am a step mom sorry I have a college degree and I work and she is able to sit on her @$$ and collect welfare…. she already gets $324 a month for one child! I have three children and dont receive CRAP but thats ok I provided for MINE! But to have to pick up a second job so I can support a child that is NOT mine so she can live on the couch is BS!!!!!! I think that child support should just be thrown out all together and stop your crying you so called “moms” get out get active and work as hard as everyone else does, if you cant make ends meet then get rid of the TV, internet, and all the crap that is not NEEDED to raise a child and MOVE ON and stop trying to ruin everyones lives around you because your miserable!!!!!

    • Marie76

      “Concerned wife” you sound like the miserable and insane one!
      You need therapy for your rage and a reality check if you really are a parent complaining that another parent “already gets 324. a month for one child” pretty sure you’re a disgruntled deadbeat, some of the posts on here have a good reason to be upset about over paying the custodial parent and being treated with disrespect, yet you sound like a nasty hateful beast, and being a full time parent to a small child is more “work” (although the most important,rewarding job a woman/man could have) than any 40 hr a wk “career” women that drop their kids off at a daycare are not harder workers than women that home school and commit to being full-time moms, never have i seen the mythical bob bon swilling couch hog so many deadbeats whine about,

      also a second wife needs to understand that the child he had before he met her will always come first.
      if you don’t like that then don’t remarry a man with prior obligations.

      • Concerned wife

        @Marie76…… #1 can you read? #2 do you have children? #3 I am willing to bet that you are one of those moms who sits on their @$$ thinking of ways to suck the life out of the father of your children!
        I HAVE THREE CHILDREN OF MY OWN!!!!!!!!!!! THAT I SUPPORT!!!!!!!!!
        So let me give this to you in a way a welfare mom such as yourself can understand!!!
        #1 – MY income should not be used to calculate child support for my husbands child (only welfare whores like you think that way!)
        #2 – I have an education and am damn proud of it…… stop being so jealous (I can support my own children)!!! what a nice feeling not to have to be dependent on someone!!!!!
        #3 – You cant compare a shiny red apple like myself to a dull orange like yourself!
        #4- YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT OUR SITUATION!!!!! Oh I forgot to mention that she uses the child as a tool, lies, and manipulates the poor child (but for a welfare mom like yourself thats all you know!!!)
        #5- Before you speak and call names sweet heart you better think
        But its ok I understand that you have to support your kind on the path to destroying all fathers….. heres a thought DO FOR YOURSELF it might actually make you feel good about yourself THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN TOO DO YOUR PART HAHAHAH!!!!!!
        P.S. talking like you did makes you sound like a welfare mommy who sucks the life out of the father of your children…. I will pray for that man and for your children!

        • lol!

          Lol! “Barb”….no, i cannot read or write (or walk /talk)

          never been on “welfare” though it is wrong to attack others who are going through rough times who need that assistance to feed/shelter their children. in my eyes noncustodial men and women who do not support their children are welfare queens since taxpayers pick up the tab.
          just my humble opinion.

          fyi, we have four boys, my eldest is in college (a real one, not the online one you got your “degree” from) .

          shiny red apple? hee hee, dull orange? ha ha!

          can’t say what your rant makes you sound like,
          my being a lady an’ all, though you might look into getting a mental health evaluation, for the sake of your “children” and “husband”

        • lol!

          ..sorry this was for “concerned wife” not “Barb” apologies “Barb”

    • stunned mom

      wow “concerned wife”!!! How educated are you exactly? I am a single mom, I have an AMAZING education & an AMAZING career. I make over $100K a year & I can provide just fine for my child. HOWEVER the last time I checked, it does take TWO to make a child, therefore it should take TWO to support the child. Who are you to judge if someone is on welfare, or assume they are on welfare? I, myself have never received any type of welfare or government assistance, but I have a sister with 2 girls, a good job but a deadbeat for an ex-husband who would rather stay addicted to pain pills than get a job to support his children. You claim to be a smart individual, well if that were the case you would #1. never stoop to the level of name calling like a child that you did & #2 you would see the economy isn’t the best right now. Some people are not able to get good jobs whether or not they have a good education or not. Even though I have a degree in technology education & I am a technology entrepreneur, there aren’t a lot of jobs available in my career like many others. I am lucky & I found a career in my field. However I know people with MBA’s that don’t have jobs & are struggling. I also know people with education only going thru high school. Like I said before I have an amazing job with an awesome salary, however 14 years ago I had a child & I didn’t make her by myself. YES I do expect my ex to help pay for our daughter. I don’t know where you are but in Texas, courts only require that the non-custodial parent pay between 20%-35% of his income based on the amount children he fathered, My ex does have to pay 20% of his income towards my child but I pay 100% of everything she needs….computers, make-up, iPods, iPads, Miss Me jeans, name brand shirts, shoes, cell phones, cheer leading, extra activities, nights out with friends, driver;s education, a car in two years, colleges in 4 years & all that on to of food, electricity, water, shelter, television, school supplies…etc. In case you forgot, NONE of those things are free. To look at your child and tell them no because you can’t afford it because you’re not getting any help from a person who calls themselves mom/dad…is difficult I am sure. I hear people say “well kids don’t need all that extra stuff so don’t spoil them”. Do you know what it is like to be a child in today’s society? Kids can be mean & kids can be cruel. To even suggest that you don’t need child support from the non custodial parent is INSANE. It’s laughable. If they didn’t want to pay child support, excuse my language, keep your dick in your pants!!! Don’t go sleep with someone unless you are prepared to PAY for the outcome. I guarantee if the non custodial parent had custody of the child/children then they would expect help from the other parent. It is natural. You don’t go buy a pet then let them starve, leave them outside in the cold & let flees eat them up. Well when you have sex, you take the chance of having a child. YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM. For you to say child support should be outlawed is uneducated, pathetic, immature & to be frank, shows what sort of parent you are. Your comment is laughable & I sure hope Maria didn’t take offence to it. I want to provide the best lifestyle for my child, as most good parents do. You can’t do that if you don’t have the support of BOTH parents, both financially & emotionally. I am guessing your husband still wants to see his children & take the credit of making them, well like it or not, he needs to help support them. If he doesn’t or doesn’t want to then yes, that makes him a deadbeat & yes that makes you married to a deadbeat. Deal with it & don’t be so defensive. Remember that your personality is what you teach to your children. If you have a daughter that had a child & the dad didn’t want to take care of them & expected your daughter to raise them by herself I would hope that you would do what you could to help your daughter get the support she needs to raise your grandchildren. Something tells me when the shoe is on the other foot, your opinion of the matter would drastically change. Grow up sweetheart, you said you have kids, so you need to make sure they are around positive influences that can grow up to be a positive thing for society.

  • Barb

    AMEN! This is so wrong! What about the Woman who “NEEDS” more from My husband for their kids HE Adopted as his (her kids as a Single Mom)..He pays over $1500 a month for 3 kids and She NEEDS more for THEM.. She is married to a SURGEON with his own business, bringing in anywhere from $600,000-$1,000,000 a YR! Why is is that she is ALLOWED to sit on her A_S and live the High Life with a BRAND NEW Mercedes and Chanel Sunglasses.etc., etc.?? YES i am 100% Honest.. how is this Fair? We live on less than $70,000 and that is BEFORE Healhcare, and Child Support as well as our own expenses (Mortgage for those kids to have a Room also), my serious health issues, my own kids that are left in the dust?! WRONG WRONG WRONG! Something Must be done about the VAMPIRES who RAPE the System and these Men! Men with Wives who must work to pay the ex to sit on her A_S while wearing her Chanel, $300 Jeans and drive her Mercedes?!! You GOT IT! I am Angry! and by the way, I am a MOM who didn’t get much child support, BUT I was fair about it too..

    • txgal

      I have to completely agree. I have 3 children and only receive 400 a month But that is what I agreed to! Now my husband now is going to making six figures to making 45,000. But the court would not lower his 2k a month in Cs. He also has his kids 50/50. This is why I am in school obtaining my law degree. So sick of tbd system looking at fathers as nothing more then sperm donors and a paycheck!

      • Barb

        Good for you! When you get that Degree, let me know would yah?!

  • Concerned wife

    I am not attacking those who are going through a rough time….. seriously! I am attacking those who use their children as TOOLS for 18 years to live off the state! Next your gonna tell me thats ok?
    Secondly my husband has paid child support for 17 years and has paid faithfully….. never a day late!
    Moving on….. your telling me that the court should be allowed to use my income to calculate his child support? When in return I don’t receive child support from the father of my three children and have to support then alone (which i am proud of)! Forcing me to have to work harder and spend more time away from my babies…. so the other mother can stay home and spend all the time she possibly can with her ONE 11y/o child…… I suppose thats ok in your eyes too? I believe that you are missing my point!
    I want nothing more than to work my 40 hours a week and come home and snuggle my babies and make them supper and put them to bed myself! My husband is gone 5 days a week and works 50-80hrs a week the way it is….. plus on the weekends tries his hardest to spend family time with all of us and think of ways to make a little extra cash…. but I suppose he’s horrible in your eyes too! I have an autistic son who requires my full attention but your right he deserves to spend more time at daycare so this other mother can be home! I was diagnosed 5 1/2 years ago with a brain tumor and have horrible migraines and have even lost my vision twice….. but I still get up every morning and go to work because I love my family! She testified in court that she is well abled to work just doesnt see the point in doing so….. so we have to pay her more! After all this….. what I am trying to say is….. My income should not be counted into what she receives for child support….. I just want to work my 40hours (not this second job ontop of it) and spend more time with my babies! CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!?!?!
    FYI I received my nursing degree from a very accredited university!
    I don’t think you understand our situation….. she receives $324 a month….. but we buy ALL of his clothes, shoes, school supplies, toys, ect….. he comes to our house in jeans that are to short and has holes…. isn’t child support suppose to help with those things? NO…. we get text messages that we need to buy those things because she is broke (no crap get a job!)….. SO WE DO! We attend all his activities and pay the fees so he can play! On court ordered holidays that we are suppose to have him EXAMPLE fathers day…. he isnt allowed to come because the fair is in town! We live approx an hour and a half from his child and it is court ordered to meet halfway…. we do ALL the driving, thus more of a financial strain with the price of gas…. but we do it because we love him and want to spend all the time we can with him! Can you understand my frustration? I am not at all pissed that we buy things for him
    Lastly I will do what I have to do to make sure that all my children (including my step son) has what he needs….. but dont you think that his mother should be held a little accountable for the child as well?
    I think I am allowed to vent a little without being bashed!

    • Concerned wife

      That was for lol!

  • marie76

    “concerned wife”
    reading your last post shows the pain of what your family is going through, YES i completely understand your frustration, it sounds bad, especially bad for the poor child!
    we are praying all works out for your family,am sorry to hear you have to deal with a life threatening condition on top of all this!

    maybe you and your husband can petition the court for custody? it sounds like child neglect on her part, at eleven years it is humiliating for a child to have shabby clothing that doesn’t fit, and yes the support you all are paying should cover clothing that is new and fits.
    pretty heartbreaking, that child must feel terrible!
    being a nurse you can repair some of the damage for this child, am praying for you and your family, happy mother’s day, marie

    • Concerned wife

      I would love to go for custody, but live in such a pro woman state it would never happen! This child has trouble in school, she emails us and tells us how uncontrollable he is (pushing her thru the store, telling her to do things, etc….) also that she just cant provide for him. Other than the fact she refuses to work, legally she does nothing wrong. I told my husband that with the trouble he has in school that maybe we can try to get him fulltime during the school year and her have every other weekend visits….. then in the summer she would have him fulltime and we get the everyother weekend visits…. make it more of a joint thing. I fear that will never happen, like I said she has legally done nothing wrong 🙁 Maybe by denying the child to see his father (ex: the fathers day stuff) the court will she that she doesnt have the best interest of the child at heart…. she also tells the child that they are so broke because his father doesnt pay child support (I write the check and mail it I know its paid and ON time!) thus trying to break that bond between father and child and once again not having the best interest at heart. I pray that the court would take those factors into consideration. Well have court in the morning again for this modification stuff I hope we can settle this and be fair to all parties involved… prayers are appreciated thank you! Happy mothers day to you as well!

  • Peachy

    I honestly don’t have any clue how child support works in this country, part from what I know from my fiancé telling me. He pays his x wife $1400/month in CS. I did like many others on this thread wonder what that money was spent on because I often hear the child (9 years old) say that he doesn’t get new things. She will call my fiancé and tell him she needs money for new clothes, shoes and whatnot for the child. And my fiancé gladly gives her however much she asks for.
    I understand the whole thing about that the CS is also for housing, food and such, and I would never argue anything or that he should pay less, because he can afford it.
    So, the child will be going to live with his parents over the summer becaus she will be working and he is too young to be home alone all days , I’m basically just wondering if my fiancé need to pay her the $1400/month or if he can pay it to his parents so that they can take care of the child? I don’t think it makes sense that he should pay her all the CS money when the child isnt there AND pay his parents money for the child being there.
    Like I said, I don’t fully understand the CS process so please correct me if I’m wrong.
    And please no nasty comments.

    • Brad

      CS can work a number of ways, most states have laws where the parent who has the children more than 50% gets automatically a percentage (20% for one child / 25% for two in my state) of gross less any health insurance.
      In my case I have the children half the time and still have to pay since I made a considerable amount of more money than my ex at the time.

      CS is paid directly to your ex so if he wants to pay it to another family member definitely he will need to go to court.

      Unfortunately CS should be spent on the children yet it’s pretty common for mother’s to simply take the money and spend a lot on themselves. There’s really nothing a father can do about it.

  • Overpayer

    For about eight years, I increased my monthly support payment because my income increased a little more than my ex-wife. My son is now 18 and I just learned that his mom’s income approximately doubled starting when he was 16. Can I go after what I consider to be a year or two of substantial overpayments?


    • Brad

      If you went to court and she produced documents showing she made less and as a result you paid more then you probably have a good case. If this was done between you two then she could always say you wanted to pay more so the judge would need proof she wasn’t honest with you about her income, not just a she said he said situation. Finally you have to figure in the costs of hiring a lawyer which may be more than what you realistically would get back.

      • Overpayer

        Thanks for the answer but I’m confused by “she produced documents showing she made less”. Did you mean she produced documents showing she made MORE? I have emails showing our history of exchanging W2’s. How can I force her to produce her recent W2’s?


        • Brad

          She didn’t have a job at the time and had transferred her 50% interest in investment properties that she co-owed with her mother all to her mother. So filing taxes she had “zero” while I had “x” from my salary/job.

          Was she lying? Yes and that’s part of the reason why the main issues with the divorce was she wanted to move the kids away from our county and have them majority of the time (so the 25% from my gross less health insurance automatically kicks in mandated by the state of Texas) but she lost on moving them and lost on majority custody, it’s 50/50 now. Given that she lost on the two main issues my lawyer and I believe the judge was “throwing her a bone” thinking that soon after our divorce she’ll get a job and at least be happy with the amount I am shelling out.
          I would have spent many more thousands to dig deeper but we both felt that the judge would still show compassion and give her a nice chunk of CS thinking a ‘happy mom is a good one regarding the well being of the kids when they are together”.
          Fast forward three years later she recently got a part time Teacher’s assistance “job” even though she has a master’s degree, her “mom” bought her a nice car and nice condo in the nicest part of the city, she takes vacations but of course she thinks I make even more money now so she wants more. She contacted Attorney General Court and they sent me a letter saying for me to show up. This doesn’t cost her a dime and I was told it’s the worst court to go to and rarely do people who go through it pay less or the same so I contracted my lawyer, we filed and now going to the legit court.
          It’ll be tough now for her. She lives in a nicer neighborhood, has shown she doesn’t need a job to survive, will have to prove all income every month, even from her mother which counts. Even if her job she gets paid little it’ll be better for me than when CS was issued since at the time she reported she made ZERO.

          You can force her to produce all bank statements, any money market and stock accounts and W2’s if you hire a lawyer and they submit in court. My ex currently won’t produce anything but that will only validate what my lawyer will argue that it’s clear she gets as much income as I do so no need at this point after three years to continue to pay (or at worst reduce it significantly). My lawyer could even over inflate what we think she pulls in a month but she won’t be able to back it up with proof since she won’t produce the documents we requested. That’s a clear red flag to a judge because the only reason why one wouldn’t produce something ordered by the court is because that will hurt their case.

  • MAS

    I have my kids 50% of the time as week (week on/week off) and I have to pay. The catch is she demanded to pay for their insurance so I pay CS. Unfortunately for her, we are both educators (she is a teacher and I am an administrator) so insurance goes up every year in Texas without a doubt. Personally, I believe if she had a soul we should split insurance, no support, and split all activities but she is too greedy I guess.

  • Brad

    I also have my kids 50% of the time but have to pay. Why? Because at the time of the divorce in court she reported that she didn’t earn any income (hid assets through her mom), couldn’t find a job, etc. I had a tax return and job so it was clear how much I made. Now that it’s 3 years later I’m going back to court since it’s no way she can pull the “I have zero income” bs excuse since she’s lived very comfortably since then. My lawyer and I are very confident the CS will get reduced, even if she barely makes any money that’s reported that’s still more than zero at time of when the judge determined CS. I am also in Texas.

    The problem is expecting your ex wife to have a soul or use logic probably won’t work. Hell my ex says I’m cheap / need to “give her more” while I provide a lot of money a month in CS. So while it’s frustrating I’ve learned not to get upset about it, why cause it’ll only make you toxic. If she doesn’t want to adjust given the increases I would talk to a lawyer and see what they think. Perhaps you guys can split the kids on your insurance?

  • MAS

    At the time of our divorce, I made $13,000 more than she did. Her parents bought a $390k house, let her use their Mercedes, etc., but she had the nerve to ask for child support. We didn’t go to trial, and though my attorney is good, I think he could have fought for more. As of now, I am biding my time for a year or so. She never takes off when they are sick, won’t pay co-pays, wants me to pay for all extra curricular, etc. Not to mention SHE had an affair with a parent of one of her students… I will just wait
    She will hang herself. When I had to take my 3 year old to the ER for an ear ache she didn’t call, text, or show up at all.

  • Brad

    Bide your time. If your ex is living somewhere and she doesn’t pay that still counts as income which is good for you (and me in my situation) and it’ll count. Meaning I couldn’t have my parents buy me a house, live rent free, and expect that doesn’t get factored in as income because it will.
    I would document EVERYTHING especially costs where you picked up the tab and she didn’t.
    Unfortunately her having an affair doesn’t really mean anything since in court all they care about is your children. Your ex could bang everyone in town but unless she’s having sex in front of your kids and you can prove it (not a he said / she said thing) then judge won’t care, if they did, then a lot more father’s would have majority custody:)
    Her not calling, texting or doing anything when you take your kid to the doctor probably won’t mean much as well. She could say she didn’t know (couldn’t find my phone) or come up with an excuse.
    Document everything and make sure to not act similar to her over the phone or in e-mails, if you do, then a judge is simply going to find you both at fault. Women are generally bitter after a divorce, they never get enough, etc. so they will try and push your buttons. Bite your tongue, suck it up and just show you are the better parent by not playing her games.
    She doesn’t want the kids? Take them and document it
    She writes a horrible e-mail to you? Don’t reply and save it
    She doesn’t pay co-pay? Document YOU paid the full amount because you are more concerned about the kids health.

    So a judge sees you paid for stuff regarding the kids and she doesn’t shows proof she is putting her needs over her kids.
    Anything verbally said basically never happened in the eyes of the judge because they weren’t there and can’t believe one side over the other but if you have enough damning evidence either taped phone calls or e-mails you’re side holds more water.

    Be glad you aren’t stuck living with your ex everyday living a miserable life and instead have a new lease on life. And while it’s hard to deal with a horrible ex (I am in the same boat) take comfort you don’t have to live with her ever again.

  • Rebecca

    My husbands ex wife got re-married over a year ago and her husband makes a lot more that what was shown on her income at the time of the child support calculation. Would it be in his best interest to have the support modified?

    • Brad

      I don’t know where you live but in Texas what your ex’s new spouse makes doesn’t factor into child support payments. What if your husbands ex wife’s new husband lost his job and she claimed as a result she should pay less? That wouldn’t work either, again, that’s just what I know in the state I live in. Makes no sense for this new husband to have to take care of your husband’s children in CS. Not his responsibility or duty. Just like it’s not yours if your husband’s ex wife wants more money because you got a raise.

  • Stacy

    My husband has a total of 5 children. 3 are with me and the other two with his ex-wife. A year ago she was able to take him to court and have his support DOUBLED. He pays his support, he always has. He’s not late, no arrears. She has not allowed him to see the children since 2004. We have tried to take her to court to keep the visitation they had in their divorce decree, but she drags it out. The last time, she managed to make the court dates last 3 years before we finally had to drop it because we couldn’t keep taking time off work. She uses every excuse (she’ll request a guardian ad litem, change lawyers, come up with 4 year old receipts she never submitted to him – she is supposed to submit within 7 days, etc). At this point, what can we do? The courts don’t seem to care that he is doing everything he is supposed to, but between support and the insurance he has to carry, he doesn’t even bring home enough to support HIMSELF. He brings home less than a third of his paycheck and the courts don’t seem to care that he has other children that he happens to actually live with and are not in the court system. I’m barely keeping us going, but soon enough we will end up losing our house. Is there something we can do? I’m not trying to deny them child support, but I don’t think it’s fair that they see more of his paycheck than we do when he hasn’t seen them in 8 years and he has a family to provide for.

    • Brad

      You nor your husband can’t deny CS from his children from a previous marriage unless he’s willing to risk getting thrown in jail.

      Hire a great lawyer is the only thing your ex husband can do, again the court doesn’t look into your husband getting remarried and having more kids, that was his choice and they won’t deduct CS because he got remarried and had more kids. I’ve always half kidding joked that I’ll never remarry because I can’t afford to (the reality is I no reason to and love my single life).

      Unfortunately the system usually favors dead beat women which there’s a ton because denying them less money means less money for the kids who’ll end up suffering. If a dead beat mom doesn’t want to work there’s nothing a court will do because it’ll affect the kids.

  • Stacy

    But he’s not a dead beat dad. He has ALWAYS paid his support, but despite having a court ordered visitation, he hasn’t been able to see the kids in 8 years and the courts won’t enforce it. And because he can’t even support himself, he certainly can’t afford to hire a great lawyer. I’m a mom, who is in favor of child support, but I do not believe that a dad should be forced to live with his parents because the courts aren’t even allowing him enough to support himself. He doesn’t even bring home enough to cover 2 of our bills. I always joke that maybe I should take him to court and get our kids into the system and then they might actually take them into consideration.

    • Brad

      If he can’t afford to hire a good lawyer then he’s screwed. The system supports deadbeat mothers since by making them happy they assume the kids will be happy.
      What you believe is immaterial just like what I think should happen doesn’t mean anything. What’s important is what the judge believes from your husbands ex and from your husband and proof to back it up.
      He hasn’t see his kids in 8 years? Prove it by e-mail or recorded phone messages. Show all financial records to show how much he makes, etc.

      Unfortunately the first deadbeat mother reaps the most reward off men. It’s not as if they will reduce the payment simply because he decided to get remarried and have more kids. The court sees that as his responsiblity to make more money and provide for CS plus his new family, if not, get another job or two.

      I don’t subscribe to any of this just telling you what judges and the courts think…what I or you or your husband thinks should happen doesn’t matter.

      Save money, gather evidence and find a good lawyer.

  • Trish

    How can I find out how much money my ex husband makes? I have not changed child support in 14 years and have not clue what he makes. I know he wont show up to court so what do I tell the judge?

    • Brad

      1. Take them to court

      2. There are some security companies for a huge fee can pretty much find anything about anyone

  • Dawser

    Divorced 5 years in TX. Me, earning $92.5K her, $44K. Present Day I am earning $78K she is making $53K. We have joint custody 50/50. I was threatened with custody battle unless I paid $1K per month which I have fathfully done. What should I really be paying? Can I modify? What is cheapest way to proceed?
    Thank you kindly,

    BTW I pay half medical and dental bills, all dental Ins. and she covers health Ins.

    • Brad

      I pay the same in CS in TX but make a little more than you but at the time of divorce my ex wasn’t working and “didn’t any any income”. So the gap “officially” is much wider in my case and can’t see why you won’t get yours reduced. She set up me 3 years later to go to AG court (attorney general) which is free of charge but I knew better, hired a lawyer and filed against her. My lawyer is quite confident that I should be paying much less given I have the kids 50% of the time and pay all their covered medical costs and the kids are older.

      You could modify either hire a lawyer (speaking to them is free and you can get a feel if it’s worth it) with a usual 5k deposit.

      Another option is sick AG on her but I was pretty much told it’s a nightmare for father’s so don’t go that way.

      You could have your ex agree to lower CS and get it filed in court. Good luck with that.

      Change in income is one of the valid reasons why you should go back into court and don’t let her lawyer or her threaten or scare you into giving her more money.

  • Darius Giurar

    I am paying 348 a month on one child i believe that this is way too much after all my bills are payed I’m left with about 300 dollars a month? what if you feel your wrongly charged a high amount is there a way to fight this?

  • KB

    I was divorced on 2005 and cs was settled for my son, we got back together and now have a 2.5 year old, he again decided to cheat….so he is out of my house for good For the past 5 years that he has been living in my house the only expense he has cared for of my younguest is daycare………I was wondering are they going to make cs retroactive to the day he was born, and also would it be the same amount he is already paying for my 12 year old or will it be based into his new income….he owns his own company now so I have no idea how will that work?

    • Brad

      why would you get anything retroactive? You guys lived together for 5 years which is common law marriage.

  • KB

    because he didnt pay anything for him, andd let me correct that, we were back together for 5 years but he has spent 2 of those living at my house

    • Brad

      Unless you can prove he didn’t spend a dime in all those years I can’t see why you can get anything retroactive. Any decent lawyer will paint you as a scorn woman who is trying to get back at him because he cheated. If he comes up with proof of paying for meals, spending money then he could argue he should get that back since you now want past CS payments. Also will argue if you needed CS to survive and provide for the kids why did you make your kids suffer through that period? His lawyer could probably paint you as a jealous and selfish mother as a result and wants $ from you since he paid for childcare, etc. I think it’s best to contact a reputable lawyer and they’ll give you good advise. Don’t go to a cheap lawyer since all they care about is making $ off you and will tell you what you want to hear.

  • KB

    and I just checked there is no common law marriage on the state I LIVE IN

  • Brad

    Honestly, you come off as a woman who is ticked that he saw another woman, sacrificed your children by not taking CS and greedy now that you want it. If he gets a good lawyer he’ll paint you that way or even worse but you need to contact a good lawyer.

  • KB

    My idea of posting my question was to listen an objective opinion and is not to know what I am comming across to you, and my kids aren’t suffering for one second because I am self suficient, all the years he has spent here without giving anything else he has put that money back on his own business and I’ve just taken the load….not that I cannot live without his money but shouldn’t financial responsabilites will be splitted into each other’s earning power?, if so…..he does owe to me and my son…

    • Brad

      Don’t follow, if you are self sufficient then why does your ex own you? If he was ordered by the court to pay CS and he doesn’t then simply hire a good lawyer and take him back to court.

  • Robe

    My daughter recently turned 18, graduated from high school and moved out of my home. I have been recieving Child Support since I got custody when my daughter was 7. My ex has been ordered to pay the Support until June 30th,(which she does not agree to since my daughter has moved out). The thing is, she lied about her income from the beggining. Is there any way to have a motion filed in court to have an investigation for the proper amount to be paid for the past? She only pays $111.23 every 2 weeks!

    • Brad

      “Is there any way to have a motion filed in court to have an investigation, for the proper amount to be paid for the past?”

      You’re kidding, right? Courts don’t investigate that’s why you hire lawyers and you pay the costs to prove it. Also you could have gone to court every three years if you thought your ex made more.
      At the time of divorce a CS amount is put into the decree. Lying about ones income from 10 years ago, so what, you won’t win and will only come across as bitter and tied the gravy train has ended.

      • Robe

        Wow, Brad, I’m surprised they let you do these comments on this site! The “gravy train”! Really?! I spent the last ten years working 2 jobs and raising my daughter, providing her health insurance and being her fatherr and mother, just because her “egg doner” mother decided she didn’t want to be a mother or a wife. She has had one good job, getting over on her daughter the whole time. I dealt with every problem, and every boy that knocked on the door while she lived at the other end of the state with her boyfriends. It has been nothing close to a “gravy train”! you sure know how to hurt someone when they are down. I was hoping I might be able to do something to help my daughter, being out on her own and struggling with her own financial burdens. Thanks for the great help Brad!

        • Brad

          Sorry Robe, I don’t mean to kick you while you are down. In terms of investigation I can’t see how the court is going to cover the cost on that and that’s done through you and your lawyer. But lying about her income, was that income stated in the decree? Usually it’s in the decree on how much, if she made more then you could have gone to court every three years and try to get more CS, doesn’t mean you will though. I think the best bet is to contact a reputable lawyer and tell them what your situation is and if you can get back payments because she made more. I’ll be surprised if you can since her lawyer will give excuses about more costs or whatever and why didn’t you fight it in the past?




    • Brad

      So your ex is paying the amount of CS that the court deemed he should pay? That’s all that he’s required, he’s not entitled to keep funding your bank accounts. He’s moved on, I suggest you do the same. The amount he’s providing seems reasonable to me but I have no idea what you and your ex is making. Unless you have your ex tax returns you have no idea either how much he makes.
      If you want child support raised then you’ll have to hire a lawyer and take him to court. That’s the only option. Of course the court could also lower CS if he’s got a good case.

      My ex thinks I am making tons more that I did three years ago and actually I’m not. She and I are going back to court and she’s going to be in for a surprise when CS gets lowered.

  • Confused Father

    Im going thru a nasty problem. My ex-wife put me on child supoort t times an dropped them with no back pay. Now she playing with my life an wanting to put me on child support again. What I supposed to do?

    • Brad

      I don’t follow, your ex wife can’t put you in CS, only the courts can.

  • Emancipation

    I was divorced in Maryland. My divorce agreement states that I pay support until my son turns 18 (I never missed a payment). He turned 18 in the middle of the month and I made my final payment for the full month. I’m now paying his college tuition and giving him spending money directly. I filed a motion to modify (terminate) support and a hearing has been scheduled. As I understand it, this is a scheduling hearing and the purpose is to establish a schedule for the completion of all proceedings, including services, mediation, and alternative dispute resolution. Am I at risk of paying after he turned 18? Since this is only a scheduling hearing, I don’t plan to hire an attorney. I’m hoping it goes no further.

    • Brad

      My divorce was in Texas and once my children either graduate HS or turn 18 (meaning if they turn 18 but haven’t finished HS I pay until they graduate HS) then once you go back to court everything is terminated. My ex at the time of divorce wanted to have in the decree that I pay half of all college but I declined for a number of reasons.
      I don’t see why you’ll have to pay anything once your children are 18, they are legally adults. If you want you can certainly agree to pay whatever but my opinion why be forced to? Courts can’t force you once they finish HS to pay anything towards your children, at least in Texas they can’t.

      • Emancipation

        Thanks! He was 17 when he finished high school so I paid through the month of his 18th birthday but that was more than six months ago. Do you think I’m at risk to pay the months between his 18th birthday and the day I get back to court?

        • Brad

          If you’ve waited or won’t get a court date before hand I believe you’ll have to keep paying, I am not 100% sure though and you may want to contact a lawyer (usually they will give you a free consult). Do you pay directly to your ex CS? If so I would think you could just stop given what the decree says. If you are having your $ taken out (like I am) and it’s paid to your ex I don’t believe you can just call them up and tell them to cancel it. If you do pay more than you are supposed to I am sure the court will make her pay you back anything that fell after what the decree states.

  • Emancipation

    I paid her directly.


    • Brad

      good luck and let us know the outcome, while I like having $ taken out of my paycheck directly so I don’t have to write one out every month I’ll have to go back to court once they are out of HS to get my payments to stop I believe.

  • Theresa

    I am not saying paying support is a problem, supporting our children is not the problem. The problem is that $ 800 is way to much esp when they are taking payments from good job thatmy husband did have. My husband has since lost that great job, and is now making half of what he was. He also supports me and his 2 year old daughter as well. That is why we put in for a modification. The child support office is lagging on this and it has been almost 5 months now. Everytime we call they say it is pending. I do not know if we should just go to the General Attorney and tell them what is going on. My husband ex girlfriend doesn’t even let him see his children and his children are very afraid of going against their mother. She is in contempt of a court order that states that my husband has rights to see his children. It is just a mess, and right now we want to have this money modified and then move on to the next steps.

    • Alma

      have you called the police to notify them when she doesnt let him see them on the scheduled days? if this happens more than 3 times in in three years with a police report he can take her to court and even get full custody of them for contempt of court!

    • Brad

      According to the final decree 800 is not too much. If income has changed and can be proven in court then you should hire a lawyer and go back to court to modify.
      If he can show he’s making half then a judge should modify it. Going to the GA is a waste of time.

      Alma – unless the police see actual violence then calling them can actually hurt you and it be turned against you. Calling and filing reports where the cops don’t spot anything won’t hold water in court and the other side in fact will say “See, it’s proof my ex is trying to ruin me by calling in false reports”

      Getting full custody will only happen if there’s absolute proof a child is endangered by a parent. 100% proof, not he said / she said. You call the police and they see nothing then you’ll be made to be the bad parent by having police show up in front of your kids.

  • Alma

    my husband has two kids from his previous marriage, he has a visitation plan that allows him to have his kids for two weeks of each month during summer vacation (which are usually 3 months) my question is does he still have to pay the full amount even if we are going to provide the supprt for half the month? their ages are 9 soon to be 10 and 7 soon to be 8, and it is getting expensive to provide all their necessities yet alone still pay fulla mount to the mother when shes only going to have them half the time during summer

    • Brad

      Yes he will unless it’s stated in the final divorce decree that payments are reduced in the summer. It should be clear in the decree how much he pays per month and until when.

  • Zena

    I recently went to court and agreed to receiving a lesser amount that my child’s father is responsible for paying than the court ordered amount because he is unemployed. Now he tells me that he will file for joint custody I believe to reduce his payments. Will the amount that he has to pay be reduced? Will the court notify me once he’s working again? Will I be able to file for a modification to receive the court ordered amount that was offered to me in the begininning?

    • Brad

      The amount will only be reduced if he’s making even less and your income hasn’t changed.
      The court will not notify you if he gets work again, makes more money or makes less money. If you think he’s making more then it’s up to you to file to modify and then through your lawyer you can request his taxes, bank statements, etc. and go to court.
      Once you are divorced you don’t have to share any financial information with your ex. ONLY by going to court will they have to show through financials why they shouldn’t pay more.
      I also assume you are making the same or less than the last time modification was implemented in court, if you are making less or the same and he’s now making even less then he may end up paying less.

  • needabreakv

    I’m in texas and I was divorced back in 2005, because I wanted 50/50custody of my 3 daughters I agreed to 2k a month, paid their private school and health care. I was making 90k yearly. I lost my company almost 2 years ago and went to modify my support. After over a year in court the judge said no change! I now make about 48k a year!! I am now paying 2350 a month because of arrearages. I started my new job only 90 days ago! My attorney who is pro bono cannot believe this happened. Now my ex has poisoned my girls against me. I’ve filed for bankruptcy, forclosed on my home. Do I have a chance in appeals to overturn her ruling? I had proof of over 70 job applications but I dont have a degree , still tried to sent what I could every month not to mention still provide for my girls half the time.

  • TOM

    NJ- Haven’t seen my two children in four years, now ages 12 and 14. Ex has brainwashed them to hate me. I would like to know if i put in a motion to surreader my rights to the children if i would have to countinue paying child support?

  • JS

    Can the Court modify child support orders without agreement by both parents?

    • kb

      Yes, you have to file a modification or support with the courts

  • Rex

    I just finish the guardianship court hearing last Thursday, and the court let my son’s grandparents take the guardianship, now i become the non-costudial party. I have got the department of child support services sent me the income-expense form to fill in May before the guardianship court hearing, so i would like to know now if i need to fill up this paper, then they will send me the child support order?? does the child support services required to submit my monthly income and expense after the child support order amount confirmed??

    I have no job right now, i am really afraid the child support order amount will kill me, i dont know how much they asked for me to pay because i just at the beginning right now, i think i will be a homeless guy soon.

  • Concerned Parent

    Ok I have a son who is incarcerated, Can he have his child support temporarliy stopped while he is incarcerated, if so how does he go about doing so for the state of TN.

  • kb

    We live in Maine. My husband currently pays support for his 8 year old daughter. At this time he has some arrears that he is payin on also. However we have her all summer and many weeks durning the month. We have come to an agreement with her mother that she would write a letter to DHS stating that she wants them to stop collecting on the current order because we have her so muchand he will still make payments toward the arrears. We took the letter signed by her down to DHS for this to be done. The worker told us that is she does this than even the arrears thats owed to her would become 0. He told us he would check into this and instead he went to another office and called his ex and told her they would stop collecting the arrears as well so she wouldnt follow through with the agreement. I have never heard of this to happen and I have a feeling he is lying so they can keep collecting whatever they get for the child support payments also. I thought they would have to stop collecting on the current support if she signed this letter and only continue to collect on the arrears.. Is this the case?? Is this worker lying to us about not being able to stop collecting?

  • One PO Mother!

    One question! like most of you i have baby mama drama!
    my husband ex doesn’t let my husband talk, see or let him know about his 1st child! but she love the money! anytime she gets a chances she’s there! unfortunately my husband got behind on his child support! so like a good wife i help out everything way going well! TAXES come around we do them together but i sing the “injury to spouse” but to my surprise! because he was so behind they took my share! so they send me a lovely latter explain
    “we will forward the money taken from your Federal payment to the Agency to be applied to your debt balances; however, the Agency may not receive the funds for several weeks after the payment date.” WHAT? can they do that? that was for my children (2 girls) i worked for it!
    so come to find out! my husband has the right to claim her 1st child on his taxes! so my question for you is! Can we send the IRS to get her??? for claim her child when my husband has right over it!

    • kb

      He would have to file and amendment to his taxes first. It will show that the child has already been claimed and the IRS will respond with a letter to both parents asking why the child was claimed on both taxes. Once the information is received its up to the IRS on who would be able to claim the child. If she still refuses in the future you can file a motion with the court that she is in comtempt of the order

  • Marie76

    Wanted my son to have a good summer with his father,(read our situation above/may 2010) bent over backwards to get along, assume goodwill since visitation expired in 2009 dad promised to bring him back before start of school year, told him i would call our son OR he could dial the phone for our son so i could tell our 5 year old child “hi!” ‘love you!”, pretty short conversation and provide security since he understands what others say yet is basically non-verbal, it was court ordered i have liberal phone contact w/ him and to know his whereabouts, a week goes by, had asked dad to give us a call so as not to bother if he were driving, no word, started to worry, no message on his cell and phone turned off, call hm phone no answer, getting more concerned they were driving over 4 states away, call his parents leave message.
    finally use”bluff my call” so he answers, my exact words” please let me speak to (child’s name) dad’s screaming reply: “F*#K YOU B*%ch!!!” me:why can’t i talk to him?” BECAUSE YOU”RE A FU*%ING BITCH C&NT!” i hung up always go out of the way for him to talk to his son, never denied him access, later he tells a kind yet gullible woman i know when i asked her to make sure all’s well that i was allowed to talk to him, meaning that child was right next to dad after hey yelled insanely and after i hung up he gave the phone to our child. he’s jealous nasty to me and had wanted to get a hotel room w/ us when he came up, i was polite yet refused seems he’s using our child as a pawn in a sick game of revenge since we left him. if i go back to court stating he has completely cut off communication will everything in the court order be addressed? his non-payment of ordered support which i have not pursued thinking extending good will would make things easier on our son, now dad is saying the exact opposite to others, while my child is there can i get an emergency order stating exact time he needs to be returned since dad is stating he won’t to others now?

  • Rene

    How can I adjust my child support? I am a student and the amount I paid for my child was calculated when I used to work 90 hours a week and before I started going to school. Now I work 40 hours a week and go to school full-time and I don’t get any financial aid. I am having hard time paying all those fees for school and pay child support. Is there any way I could adjust the amount for child support for deduction. Thank you

  • jay rose

    i only get $12 a week for my 2 boys. ive tried to object it and nothing, i pay child care, rent everything on my own. is there anything i can do??

  • Tim

    My girlfriend had her CS modified 2 months ago. They are still taking the same amount of money from her checks as before the modification. My question is does the father have to pay back the difference since the modification? Or is there nothing we can do about it.

  • globner

    My daughter turned 18 in June she was enrolled in a regular high school for the year of 2010 and then she got kicked out of high school and she deceided to enroll in an alternative high school for the last two years. She was scheduled to graduate this year 2012, but she didnt because she only has 9 credits out of 22 to graduate. She has been in truancy court 2 times for not going to school. She does not go to school but since she is still “enrolled” and not scheduled to graduate now til 2014 support enforcement says that I still have to pay my full support until she graduates, which would put her at the age of 20. I have all of the doucuments to support my findings with her attendance and grades and two questions are do I still have to pay child support if she does not go to school but is enrolled? and secondlly if I would still have to pay can there be a modification to the amount since when she does atternd school she only has to go for 2 hours a day instead of a full time student?

  • Amanda

    My husband has two children from a previous marriage. One is 19, so we would like to have the child support modified. When completing forms to have child support modified, I know we have to use the same case number as the last time it was modified; however, if my husband is the one requesting the modification, would he now be the plaintiff if the case, or does the ex-wife still remain the plaintiff as in the original case?

    Also, when the second child reaches the age of 19, do we have to go through this modification process again?
    Thanks for any help!

  • kb

    Nope, one the defendant always the defendant. Once the child turns 19 it should automatically stop. Guess it depends on how fast the courts are, I would pay attention and give them a reminder when you get closer to the birthday

  • Jill

    When my ex and I got our divorce we got our child support order at the same time. I got the choice of sending the money through the state or just having him hand it to me. To be honest, I wanted him to start paying through the state just for security of both sides. BUT ever since we did it that way it has been a HUGE headache. For example, he got paid last week, child support was taken out, usually I get it the next week. It is now Friday and I have not received anything (it’s direct deposit to my bank account). I want to modify it only so that way he can start handing it to me for less headache. He did it for 3 years while we were separated and never had a problem. How do I go about it and is it going to cost me an arm and a leg? We need to do something else. I need something that is more reliable..

  • Tucker

    In Oklahoma, if they levy your bank account for 4500.00, will they accepted a lower amount and clear your back support to 0 if you pay that amount? Kinda like a credit card company would!

  • Powekl

    I have to pay $200 in child support. I am not working and the only income is my son ssi check. Also he does not have custody of our daughter she is in foster care. I dont understand why I must still pay him

  • shacca1

    All this childsupport stuff is rediculose I am a women and I dont really believe in it. I have custody of my 3 cousins their mom is on childsuport but we havnt received a dime, but honestly I would rather her give me a break than to worry about the support. What i dont understand is that a women can choose to have a baby wheather the father agrees or not. Then when she feels she cant take care of them she files for support. Well I know in most states cs is based on both parents income. So if mom cant take care of the kids and the state feels like dad should contribute a sum of his income, why not let the dad be custodial parent?

    My husband has 6 kids and on cs for 3. the middle ones mother everytime she feels like it if support aint ontime or whatever the case ay be runs st8 to the courts and file a contempt or child abandonment. The child has been stayin with us since the begingin of Dec. Mom sisgned a paper giving him primary custody and waived his obligation for support while child was with us. Mom denied it saying she has always provided solely for her 3 kids, the other 2 father has custody of them. But how you doing that when the father is contributing financially? Anyway she picks the child up for the summer and exactly a month later she goes and files a child abandonment warrat…go figure!! But the whole time child was here she never contributed a DIME!!! not even for the gas I used to take child to visit her or what not!! its some money hungry females out here. And funny thing is the support obligation isnt that much and is getting modified because he is married and 1 of his kids who is older mother passed the beginning of the year so this child survuves solely of our income!!

  • Dina

    I have my child support through the divorce decree in Centre County PA. I have custody of all three children and we have lived in Lehigh county since the divorce. I have been downsized out of my job since 11/11 and have been on unemployment which has decreased our income by over half. My ex husband is not sending child support on time and has made reductions to the child support a few times over the years. How/Where can I get the child support to go through Domestic Relations and NOT the divorce decree since I want the support changed and ENFORCED. It is always late and ALWAYS a mystery at how much he will pay. We also have an sutistic son who has just been given a Mental Retartdation diagnoses. He is severly impaired, even before the new diagnoses. How can I change this without a lawyer. I am in overdraft currently and have no money to spare for a lawyer. Please help, Lehigh county told methat they will not modify and remove the child support from the decree because I need a lawyer to do it. I don’t know what to do and I now live 200 miles away from Centre county where the decree was issued. What are my options?

  • stunned mom

    REALLY????? This is to Lisa…who are you to call the child a “damned” child??? You may be the new wife/girlfriend but you are basing you OPINION off of what the dad is telling you! I cant believe you would come onto a public site & make the comments that you did. Who are you to go blasting this kind of stuff online when all you know is the BS sap story he is telling you. What if one day you guys split up & he plays the same “feel sorry for me” story to his new GF about you & your child that you say was conceived from LOVE. He did have sex with this girl correct? I dont think it was her intentions on getting pregnant & not having a father to help raise her child. You said ur husband/boyfriend didnt request a DNA test….shouldnt that tell you something???? I would think that if i was in the same situation I would definitely request the DNA test. He sounds like he knew all of the risks when unzipping his pants & planting his love stick somewhere unprotected!! I dont care if she told him she couldnt have kids or not. He should have taken precaution against other things like STD’s. I still cant believe the comments about the first child being conceived out of a lie….my jaw dropped. Who are you to say?? I am sure the baby they had was just as precious as any other baby born. You also said he didnt want to see or know the child from the previous relationship. What does this say about ur spouse or let alone you?? You support a guy who doesnt want anything to do with a child that is 50% of him. I have been a spouse of someone with a child from another marriage & I have been a mom of a child of a failed marriage. I encouraged my spouse to pursue some sort of custody rights to his child & I would never deny my ex access to our child. You sound stupid, uneducated, insecure & like a complete TRASHY idiot. You have a child that has a sibling out there & one day they may find their way to each other & will have a conversation about their parents based off of what they have heard from their parents. Dont you think it would be easier if they already knew each other & the positive things about their parents cause they have been able to establish relationships with each other based off of the maturity from ALL ADULTS INVOLVED. Yes that includes YOU, ur husband/boyfriend & the mother & stepfather of the first child. If your child is a girl & she was put in the same situation as the women who mothered the first child, would you want the father to be a DEADBEAT the way you are supporting your spouse & his actions with his first child? Believe it or not, your husband/boyfriend can be a father to BOTH children, not just yours. My child’s father is a GREAT father to her & his new children all at the same time. Get over your insecurities & deal with the fact that your spouse slept with someone other than you & that child was made out of love just as much as yours was. And before you make comments about a “damned” child, imagine someone calling your child “damned” because as quick as this deadbeat dad is telling you his feel sorry for me story he could tell some other girl the same story about you…..your standards of men are pathetic. You should really look into that!!!

  • Blanca

    If My Ex Bf Pays Childsupport With His Previous Gf And Now I Plan On Putting Him On Child Support, Does The Previous Gf Get Less Child Support Or Does He Get More Taken Away?

  • Sarah

    And then again there are some fathers who make $60,000 more a year than the mother who also works full time, goes to college full-time, and is not getting any state aid. There are these fathers that are trying to use every trick in the book to get their child support lowered. These fathers who agreed to 100% of medical and dental expenses in the original court agreement 3 years ago now saying he wants half of the cost of braces a year after the braces were put on. This father does not pay for rent, mortgage, heat, electricity etc. This father sends his kids off to his moms for the majority of his weekend visits. This father who has a company vehicle with all expenses paid 100%. Lets not just dump on the mom’s. There are some dads out there that are trying to play the game of wanting more play money too.

  • Taffany

    Can you ask DHS to provide you with the wages from employer if you feel you should have gotten more?

  • ashmee

    i went to court 2 months ago for child support n i was paying $272 every 2 weeks and the increase my payment to $436 every two week n they suspend my lincense ? why ? and can they do that?

  • Jodi

    OK I was in a relationship with this screw up for 6 years, we did have 2 beautiful children who are now 12 and almost 11. We broke up because he went to prison and I ended up remarrying. The kids were 4 and 3 at the time this happened. I have married to their step dad for over 7 years now. The real dad has been in and out of prison and jail many times for just about everything (drugs mainly). To make a long story short I ended up filing for child support and when we went to court he decided he wanted to become domiciliary parent. I of course won, but he had to take a court order hair follicle test which he never took and upon a negative showing he had supervised visitation with his mom and dad watching them. Well he never once called to say “hey can my mom or dad go pick them up”. It was always him asking if he could go pick them up. I of course said no because I didn’t want to be held in contempt and I spent $1500 on an attorney. It’s been over 4 years since he’s seen them. he owes $16000 in child support and he even went to jail for non payment. He is only supposed to pay $392 month. He has paid a few times but thats about it. i got a court order for court to go so he can get child support modified. He’s saying he is involuntary unemployed and stuff. I just don’t see how they can even modify it because it was based on 0 income I believe. He wrote my sister asking her if we would call him so we can settle this out of court. I just think the whole situation is crazy and honestly don’t want any more to do with him. he’s 36 years old and will never grow up. I don’t know what to do. My kids say they don’t want to see him because they don’t even know him.

  • bbro

    Can I have custody modified if my ex, who is the custodial parent, is leaving the kids with me most of the time? I am only to have 6 overnights a month and so far I’ve had at least half the month if not more. There have been times that I have not heard from my ex for 4 days. This is mostly on a weekend when they are supposed to be with my ex, not me. The custody arrangement just started on July 1st and since that time the kids have only been with my ex 14 out of 46 nights so far.

  • Tom

    I signed papers for my sons mothers husband to adopt my child and have his last named changed, it’s been about 3 months now and she is still receiving child support from me. Is this right? Or am I entitled to have this money back?

  • Robert Taylor

    I have had my children in my custody and living with me since may 27, 2012, they are enrolled here in school , the mother called and said she could no longer take care of her children at this time time, due to becoming homeless, she has possesion of the mastercard my payments continue to go to her and she spends it frivously, How can I get these payments to stop and find out if these payments can be added to my arrears, which is approximately 4,000.00

    • Anonymous

      Get a family lawyer and then set a court date. Trust me. Start with the courthouse.

  • Hope

    I recently got married and my wife and I child was born 2 1/2 months pre mature. Can I request to have my child support from my other son modified because of this change.

  • Leanne

    My husband has 2 children from a previous relationship with his ex girlfriend. A 17 year old girl and a 12 year old boy. We have 3 children together. My 17 year old stepdaughter came to live with us over a year ago because the mother was emotionally abusing her and stole 1500 from my stepdaughters bank account. My husband always paid child support and spent time with the kids. We took her back to court because of all of the abuse and to modify child support. Well she goes in to court as the loving mother who lost her job and the judge doubles the child support. Not only did he double it he ordered the 17 year old to have visitation with the mother. We are now paying her to visit with her own daughter. The judge did not let my stepdaughter testify and he would not let her therapist testify. Clearly just made his own assumptions. We have an amazing attorney who had plenty of evidence to the emotional abuse and the judge did not care. The mother now is getting 2,000 a month in child support and has section 8 housing and food stamps. Where is the justice in the world! The money doesn’t even go to the kids. I have an emotional 17 year old who is a wreck.

    • Anonymous

      Sounds like the mother has some pretty bad calloused knees if you get my drift, and probably suffers from lock jaw as well.

  • amber

    if the custodial parent moved too far away for you to attend a hearing what can you do?

  • Gene

    My son turns 18 in November. He graduates from high school in June 2013 and child support ends on June 30,2013. My son has been living with me since June 2011. I have been paying child support to my ex since 2008. This year my ex and I entered a verbal agreement to continue paying her child support as long as she puts food in the house. I want to end this when my son turns 18 in November but she does not want to do this. My question is without having to go to court can my son at 18 declare where and who he is living with? If he calls and proves to child support he lives with me will that end child support? We live in California.

  • Hanna

    My current husbands ex wife is currently working full time and lives in Va. She just informed us that she is going to request an increase in child support because she will only be working part time starting the 1st of the month in order to care for her live in boyfriends disable child, his current care giver has quit. Can she get an increase because she has decided to work part time to care for a child that isnt hers?

  • Lila

    ►My ex now has a new family including a new baby. Is this a reason to have my child support and or alimony lowered? I am in New Jersey

    • Andrea Lynn

      I don’t know the legalities, but as a woman with two kids and an ex-husband who is CONSTANTLY demanding that I kick back a portion of the state-ordered child support he owes for his two children that I care for – one of whom is Autistic -, I will just say this. His obligation is to his first biological children first. Now, because our court system is so screwed up, the court will probably lower your support and alimony because he has a new baby to support, because we first wives are always wiping up the crap these guys leave behind for us to clean up when they leave, but if I were you, I’d get a lawyer. A good family law lawyer who can give you a free 30 minute consult so you can get the legal answers you need. Write down your questions on a legal pad, don’t make small talk, use every minute getting good legal advice. And if he or she seems to have their brains packed in properly, keep their card so you can hire them when the time comes. Good luck to you. I hope it all works out in your child’s favor.

      • mike hankins

        As a single father of 3 children from 2 women .One I’ve had since age 3 now 19 and in college. The other 2 since birth,I’ve never gotten a dime in child support and women who constantly seek child support disgusts me.I consider my children enough compensation for my relationship I personally think if women didn’t exhibit so much hate towards ex spouse’s and use child time as weapons most men would be more willing to help .

        • Melissa

          Clearly you are someone who is the non-custodial parent. Cute. Nice try pretending that you are the one paying for everything and caring for them 100% of the time since birth. If that were true then you would not be saying shit about how you are disgusted by women who seek financial support for their children from the other parent who is doing nothing.

          • mike hankins

            Clearly your reading comprehension skills are lacking as it says I am the 100% custodial parent with both mothers living in other states paying nothing which is fine with me,but what is clear by the way you took offense you are one of those women.

          • Melissa

            You betcha. I am the primary caretaker of two one year olds and i work two jobs. If you find it is disgusting that I am seeking financial support from the father so that I can provide for OUR babies then you are either A. Delusional or B. Have always had your mom helping you and your children out (which has been my experience with any men who claim to have been sole caretakers of young children) so you know nothing about poverty or needing child support. FYI the child support is for the children, so if you were in a position where you couldn’t provide for your kids and refused to ask for support, then they would be the ones to suffer over your “pride”. Way to throw your kids under the bus for your ego.

          • mike hankins

            Actually my closest family is 400 miles away and I work 1 job that allows care for my children my parents do however keep my children 2 weeks in the summer but it’s nice how you assume to know my situation,but you’re right I don’t know about poverty because I chose to be in a position mentally and financially to care for my children before having them.I have no problem with child support I just think women who always want more and more take it to far,if you choose to have children with a deadbeat when you were incapable of providing for them solely then that’s on you.So maybe your the one who’s actions were delusional.Your position that only women can raise children is definitely delusional.

          • Rakae Romm

            Wow Mike! First off that’s great that you have “one” job that allows you to care for your children and not needing or wanting any help from the mothers. You are very blessed and cudos for stepping up and being a father! I am a single mother of a 5 year old and work 40+ hours a week and receive NO STATE ASSISTANCE. Have received $40 of child support in the last two years! Half my check goes to daycare plus and then clothes, food, etc and I live off credit cards by the end of the month. The father hops from job to job- formed a fake llc to filter money through- been caught red handed working under the table but NOT ONCE HAVE I stopped him from seeing his child. I’m trying to do what’s right for my son (that means having his father in his life regardless of his selfishness) Please tell me how it’s wrong to get help supporting my son? It’s not fair he buys new cars, goes on vacation, tattoos and me? What do I get? More debt that I can’t pay? I hope you never know what it feels like to constantly struggle to get by everyday raising your children. Maybe if you walk in my shoes you would be feeling a lot different

          • mike hankins

            I’m not denying that single parenting isn’t hard or that people shouldn’t pay there share .There are scumbag parents of both genders.I was just answering Melissa’s charged that based on my gender I’m incapable of being the sole provider of my children.As a single dad of remarkable children I take offense to the notion that dads are only good for paying child support.I’ve raised a 19 yr old who is excelling in college and I have a 6yr old kindergartner who has reading and math with 2nd graders.My original comment was about women who continually seek more money often times just to spite the father but I was immediately told I’m just someone who doesn’t care for my kids or that I wasn’t capable of doing it on my own.

          • Rakae Romm

            I believe fathers can do just as well as mothers can raising children. Like I said cudos to you for doing it on your own and I respect you for that. I just hate the whole “women, are just after to child support etc etc” I work very hard raising and supporting my son- Always being the bigger person and swallowing my pride in regards to my sons father gets exhausting but I do because nothing will change the fact that he is the father of my son. My son deserves to know both parents. Just wish that guys or girls would just stop and realize what we do or say or for that matter don’t do- ultimately hurts our children.

          • Melissa

            Your original comment said that women who seek child-support disgust you. Verbatim. That’s an extremely charged statement to make, Mike. I would recommend being more specific and clarifying what you mean in the future because there are a lot of women on these forums who request support so that their kids can eat. I’m sure it’s not very useful to call us disgusting.

          • Melissa

            Absolutely true! Nothing that displays society’s ignorance more than a guy who happens to be doing well financially shaming women who are struggling to support their kids with little to nothing.

          • mike hankins

            Society’s ignorance?Shaming women?No doubt humans are stupid but I’m shaming no-one just responding to your ignorant assumption that I don’t have my children 100% of the time or am incapable of caring for them without my mother simply because I’m a man.Your starting to sound like a feminist so this is probably a losing battle.So I’ll leave you with your victim mentality,good luck with it.

          • Melissa

            Again, it sounds very likely that you are the non-custodial parent since you are shaming women who seek child support. I don’t think this because you’re a man, I think this because your views don’t add up with your supposed circumstances. For example, why did you “choose” to have children with a deadbeat mom? Now your children will never have the joy of having a loving or fulfilling relationship with their mother because you decided to sleep with someone who didn’t want anything to do with you or them. ***see how ridiculous and counter productive that perspective is given that I’m a single mom? Anyway, you most likely don’t get it and will continue to spew your hate. That’s fine.

          • Missy K

            Wow ladies lighten up, he is simply saying what’s good for the goose.. I am a widow with 5 kids, only 1 my late husbands. I’m owed over45k by the other father. I had to step up and be the provider. I didn’t at any point depend on support. Yes we struggled so I changed to a better job. Mike is able to provide for his family with just his income, good for him. I’m sure he played his dues in college to be where he is. I tip my hat to u Mike,

          • Melissa

            You can’t even maintain your own viewpoint. Originally you said women who seek child support are disgusting. Now you say you have no problem with child support but think it can sometimes be taken too far. Hopefully you realize how the latter is a normal person view point and the former is completely radical and sexist. Next time, don’t go posting extreme radical things on forums if on most days that’s not how you really feel. By the way, the child support obligation is established by the courts and meant to keep the children above poverty level so there is no factual basis to the statement that people “want more and more take it too far.”

          • mike hankins

            “Have always had your mom helping you and your children out (which has been my experience with any men who claim to have been sole caretakers of young children) “<—- sexist statement.

          • K.d.

            I am one of the moms of the supposed children that he raises on his own. He lives at his parents and my son has been there this last year because of circumstances. However before that we cared for him as a joint effort or we resided together so I am clueless as to why he would lie just to rant online to you . I find it so ridiculous that I don’t even need to chastise him. Accolades to you for being a great mom. 🙂

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  • PDS

    I have baby twins with my second wife, can I request a modification to my other child downward since my expenses are much greater?

  • John

    I have 4 kids that I pay for and I am barely surviving but I am not complaining. She is getting mad because the child support is not coming to her right now because CYS took the kids because of neglect. She got the kids back but the system sees them in foster care by their computer. She sent the 2 oldest to a boys and girls ranch because she can’t handle all 4 of them. She wants to put the 2 oldest back in foster care but I will take them. Can she put them in foster care if I am willing to take the 2 so they do not feel abandoned?

  • Xavier

    What should I do when my child support payment is higher than an actual paycheck?

  • Danny

    What if you filed the support papers by hand and not with the online calculator .. And made a mistake with the math and it showed her to get child support for a certain amount for her? I was recently asked after about 8 months why I’m paying so much if I’m covering the healthcare for the kids so I went on and was able to get to the online calculator and it shows she should owe me… I’ve made payments on time I just want it to be fair?

  • Brenda Hughs

    ok here is my station my ex had custody of our oldest son and i have been fighting for my son for many years and was getting tanf (temporary assistance for need families) and all the time that he had custody of my son his mother was raising my son but claiming that he had him and lied ok so now i have custody our son and the arears are at 2400$ and i just cat pay it i have 3 kids im taking care of and cat take are of them and py that at the same time with no help.. so now child support enforcement is threatening to take my liscense unless i pay 600$ now.. and i just cant i dont have it.. im soo stressed out i dont know what to do, she said i an py 300 now and sign a paper that state that i willmae the payments on time starting in feb.. but i do have court in jan to go back infront of the judge to see if the judge will drop it all so im wondring if i sign that paper if it will hurt me in court if the judge wants to drop it all?

  • Joe

    I relocated to the state of Tennessee… My CS order is originally from NY… How do I go about modifying the CS order? I can’t be traveling to NY all the time due to work is there a possible way I can file for modification in the state I live in?

    • Ranger

      Do a phone session with the courts.

    • Thangs

      I’m in a similar situation with multiple states involved. The appropriate way is to report the change with NY; have it sent to Tenn., and revisit the master. I am a defendant and live in PA, worked in NJ and the plaintiff and my son are in DE. I am currently unemployed, on NJ unemployment, and now the plaintiff is working. Last work day was Sept. 30th, received unemployment & severance all of Oct. & Nov., then found out that the garnished unemployment funds were not because of Severance, but because of child support. So I paid 2 months too much into child support and am trying to understand how to get this money back; then understand if it is worth it filing for a change in support payments. PA said they distributed the money to DE and I can either wait until the child is 18 next August, or work it out with his mother too get the money back sooner. Though the mother told me that she was not distributed the extra money. So I need next, to call DE child services to find out where the funds are and how to get this back. It’s a complete mess going through multiple states. If I file for a change in income, I will probably brake even since she is now working. Though am afraid that this will bite me in the ass because when I begin to work again, she will probably request a lot more money then the original “agreed upon’ child support payments. She will not help at all either. It’s a sticky situation because we are somewhat civil, but not completely. She is bi-polar, married to a new guy (for over 10 years), and they are financially stable; but in PA all that matters is mom and dad’s income, plus the money chart. Before you think this is the correct approach to demanding my money, put this into perspective: In PA, Mom & Dad were together for 10 years when they got engaged. Then 2 weeks after accepting, mom says she no longer wants to get married; so there is no need to further the relationship. Son is 2 years old at this point in time. She then is going out with a new “rich” guy 6 months later. They get a new house together, in DE, after a year. Dad contributes child support to her monthly (which winds up being the same “agreed upon” amount of support in the long run). Then mom gets knocked up again. Since she can no longer work, she decides to file for child support, without notification. I, Dad, take offense to this because she does not communicate this to me. Plus the second child has nothing to do with me. So my child support wages are garnished automatically from my paycheck; which is cool since I never have to see this money or use up stamps lol. Though I get my son every-weekend; there was never a custody agreement in court, so becomes official when we went before the master and the master asks if custody was ever established. We both informed her, No, but I do pick him up and drop him off every weekend. So the master says that Now, child support is established.Our “civilness” takes a dive because of all of this mis-communication, and the over-all situation. So it is best to not talk to her. In the meantime, Mom gets knocked up again. So this pro-longs the time for her to return to work. Like me, she likes to work. The difference is that she gets bored with life and work, so she cannot sit still with one job. After ten years, she decides to start working again. Mom and Dad are somewhat civil; Dad even goes to Mom & Step-dad’s house for son’s b-day parties. Mom’s parents miss Dad lol. Step-dad makes 120k per year. Dad makes 50K per year. Mom makes 2k per month. Then dad gets laid off from work Sept. 30th, but is promised severance until the end of November. Dad files for unemployment income. NJ asks dad to report severance, but never asks about child support. When dad receives unemployment income, there is money garnished; so Dad assumes this is because of severance income, and would need to re-visit the claim when severance runs out. Dad finds out the last week in November that the garnished income was because of child support. So Dad gets child support taken from both severance and unemployment income. At least the garnished child support from unemployment was the same amount taken from severance income. Dad gets overwhelmed throughout October & November, then becomes severely ill the first 3 weeks of December; and just sick to recovery the last week in December. So not much of all gets done in the month of December. Now January, 2017 comes, and Dad starts to work out all of this mess. $1000 in child support was over-paid. PA tells me that they will not request the additional money back from DE as a “safety precaution” in case I go in arrears again. They said that I can either work it out now with Mom’s side, or wait until the child is 18 (which is a year and a half away). Note: Back in 2008-2009, when child support was established in the courts, PA ordered my employer in NJ to automatically take the child support funds from my check. I would get paid every 2 weeks from work. Delaware cannot comprehend that I would not pay the set monthly fee each month since I get paid every 2 weeks. So I would “automatically” be in arrears after six months, but this would get paid by the end of year and automatically work out at the end of 12 months. So DE would contact me (and illegally contact my employer) to make me pay the arrears amount. I said it is out of my control, it is an automated system, and it would automatically work itself out by the end of year. Though would have to get embarrassed, then pay the amount anyway because DE would not stop harassing me. That is embarrassing having everyone in a corporate work place know my personal life. Though I would not lie or make up stories. OK back to DE owing me money: Mom says that all money in the bank account which gets the child support money automatically deposited from DE, was correctly distributed; which means that she only received what was expected. So next on my list is to call DE to see if they are banking the money for interest. Can anyone tell me if this is legal??????????? Then I plan to go to my courthouse to file for change in support since I am not making enough to live on. Plus I am paranoid that my unemployment income will run out before I get a job; got 3 months left (I think). For some odd reason it seems that Oct. & Nov. was easier getting bites for jobs then December & January. Although my consultant tells me that Dec. & Jan. is a big time for companies to find hiring prospects. Anyway, I need some help. What do you people think? I am thinking that if I report the change in income, and states that she works, PA will declare that I owe nothing for support, and brake even. If she wants, when I am hired again, that she will find out and take more than the 450 per month in child support. Do you think that I should just do what is right for me, file for the change in income/child support?????
      Do you this is fair for me???? think that I should be paying support????????

  • Edwin

    My situation is a bit different. I use to have well paying job offshore making almost $1500.00 per week. After the BP oil spill, I was affected by a company wide lay-off back at the beginning of this recession of 2009, out of work, couldn’t find a job nowhere, not even McDondalds. Eventually went back to court, was incarcerated for 7 months for not “complying” with the court order in contempt. Many might believe that once the so-called “deadbeat” is in jail, they pay, not the case though. While in jail, I worked everyday picking up paper on the streets and highways, and not earning ONE PENNY, it is called “deadtime” because there is no fine to be worked off. And no, the child receives nothing, only thing that was accomplished was that my ex had the satisfaction of watching me being carted off to jail…just out of spite, but remember, God is watching YOU too. I since have found a job, and no, not out of fear of going to jail, for you see, I served in the military 2 tours and survived jungle survival, so jail was nothing, but a big waste of time when I could have been looking. as always, for a job. Anyway, I recently went back to court for a follow up hearing, and had the chance to have my child support reduced, but I kept it where it was ordered because I know that God will bless me to take care of my children because He knows my heart and my love for my kids. So you see, I’m not being bitter about the whole situation because they are my kids and my responsibility. Women have it so twisted now, saying, “my kids”. The ground cannot bring fourth fruit without the seed, but a seed can flourish without the soil. A womans womb is just empty space without the seed of a man. When God CREATED man, there was no woman present. When God MADE woman USING a rib of Adam, man was present, that’s why she is called WOman, for out of the WOMB or Bosom of man did she come. Men were created, in the image of God, WOman, in the image of her male counterpart as a weaker vessel. Men, keep your head up, keep your faith in God and do the right thing, you WILL be blessed, no matter what obstacles the spiteful ex throw in your path. Be blessed.

    • Jared

      Thank you Edwin I needed the encouragment. God bless you and your family.

    • JD

      AMEN brother

    • Alex

      ur a masochistic idiot

      you seriously believe that men are more than women because of some story you read in the bible? just because you’re mad at ONE woman who screwed you over, don’t take it out on the rest of us with stupid stories and excuses. I’m 29 years old, no kids, been with a man for 7 years who has a crazy baby mama, and he is a great father to his son and i will always support him and stand by his side and never lower myself to her standards. A WOMAN would not screw you over, she’s a piece of sh**, don’t judge all other women based on her.

      • Ranger

        You can’t fix stupid. Edwin is a tool. A good woman today is worth a ton of gold! There are good women out there, and when you have one, you better recognize it.

        Sadly, there are a whole lot of nasty rude mean vindictive women mixed amongst them.

    • Caly213

      ( I wasn’t planning on it being this long, I got carried away) * You don’t need to read it, I just needed to direct it some where !Please don’t bring the Lord into this, you may hear or read it like that from men, but remember women were created by God from Adam’s rib, for him,for companionship and multiply, don’t blame us, God has given us the pain every month, & the pain of birthing a child, don’t get me wrong it’s a blessing, not a punishment, very painful punishment, I could argue this all day with you, but won’t. Yes Eve messed up she was only human, haha ,Maybe just an easy target ,Adam shouldn’t have left her there in the garden and guided her. Anyway, every woman is paying the price, for her sin. I will tell you this you came from a woman, not sure if you know that, and before you turned into a man during moms pregnancy you were a female so to say, Scientifically speaking! I am Christian, my life has been tough, single mom with Stage 3 Thyroid Cancer I had for 10 yearssince 18 & didn’t know it, Radiation, 2 Radical neck surgeies, all at 28, I have the chance to see my son turn 19 this Dec. The Lord has saved me a few times, for that I am greatful! at the end of the day, Not sure saving me this time was a blessing or for torture from the agony I live in everyday, miss my job in Cardiology and the elderly patients, I so fell in love with, the pain is unjustified, if I new this is how it would go after surgery, I never in a million years would have had it! The depression & pain is mostly unbearable, but being so young and beautiful & unable to go out or Socialize I could no longer leave the house from Depression, It’s not the way it was suppose to go, I lost everything & ended up moving back to CA from AZ to top it off, My father married a Phillipino woman that is very devious, only he doesn’t see it! She is very jealous of any time I spend with my Dad, so he doesn’t show any affection toward me ever, He has always had money, and spent it on me with no problems, until he married her! It’s almost like a competition with her, I hear her or hear her talking bad about me from the past, she remembers the bad no problem, but absolutley dissregards all the good, in front of my father, but I’m not 18 anymore, I’m a grown woman w a son that is 19, I feel soooo ashamed & embarresed in his house he bought for her! I don’t need to be here because we despise eachother, he of course acts as if he doesn’t know, but he does. She thinks that it’s her house, of course she made sure to repeat that to me 1,000 times anyway, let her think it! I told my father what she does or says when he’s not home, & then it completely stopped . This woman left 4 of her kids in the Philipines to come to California, & 1 was a baby! Who does that? Sorry for venting about my life, didn’t mean to go this deep , guess it’s time to finally talk to a therapist! I have always been suspicious of her, somehow she got him to marry her by saying all her friends think he is using her for what the youngsters call it ( BOOTY CALL) he owns apartments by huntington beach, in Orange County & just bought 24 units in Fresno, so you see how I can be worried for him, he worked so hard all his life, with his poor hands, even when he was off, he was always doing work, I don’t want him hypnotised by her. She knew how to play him, said all the right things those Philipinos are smart! I’m hip to it, even if my dad is not, I can’t stand her voice & won’t for long, I will keep an eye open,my dad told a friend of mine not to worry, because he’s not a stupid man, when it comes to his money, I should not worry so much, things are taken care of, One time a long time ago when they first started dating, she told my Grandmother to tell Tanya (me) that everything is hers, that made me hate her even more, she didn’t say in front of my dad, he was drinking inside , how can I not worry or be suspicious of someone who plays sooo sweet for my dad, then her other personality with a mission talks like that but my son is grown now into a wonderful young man, so I finally can meet someone that will be forever! I just don’t want to leave him yet, I was 17 when I got pregnant then 18 when he was born! I can’t believe he is my age and didn’t do all the wrong things I did! He’s my baby, I can’t imagine him having a baby so young…So I praise God and thank him for my son, I could have never left my 4 children across state lines let alone another country! I will never ever understand that or except it ! I don’t think she cared, she wanted Hollywood and money, but she married the cheapest man in the world my dad Hahaha. Even the birds say cheap, cheap , cheap when they fly over him.LOL I’m writing all this and thinking that maybe God played a part in her destiny with my cheap dad, maybe she is being punnished for leaving her kids, & saying what she said to my Gma, who knows it’s his will after all! Soo Sorry so long!

      • Ranger

        Do you even realize what a train wreck you are? You are the exact type of woman that men run screaming from!!!

        • Diann

          She, Tanya, aka Caly213, is mentally unbalanced, and in need of serious therapy! I feel so sorry for her son. It has got to be hell having a mother like her!

          • Gaby

            fuck you and ur bald ass. don’t feel sorry for anyone no one needs your loser ass pity. here is a good question, why are you contributing to other fat slobs ummmmmmmmmm cus u happe. to be one congrats u won best blow job for successfully blowing some dude named ranger

          • ☆Shaine☆

            Well, thank you! I have been told I have the most amazing blow job skills by all the men I’ve blown.

          • Gaby

            your welcome now blow me and fuck off

          • ☆Shaine☆

            Go see a therapist. You’re psychotic. I feel so sorry for your 3 kids having a nutcase like you as their mother. You’re emotionally scarring them for life with a mentally imbalanced tortured mind.

          • Gaby

            wtf are u talking about u fat bald middle aged man. who said I had kids u worthless tub of Monkey spunk. I need therapy well you need weight watchers…..take the balls out of ur mouth and stop embarrasing yourself

          • ☆Shaine☆

            Maybe try some schooling as well. You’re definitely amongst the dullest tools in the woodshed.

        • Gaby

          man you are a true jackass no wonder nobody will fuck you….poor poor dirt bag you are probably some fat slob getting knob jobs from filthy diseased hookers. Good job jack off you won the award for best slob job of the year

  • Jenn

    My husband was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and is now permanently on 2 forms of insulin because his pancreas is not producing insulin at all. We are paying $200 a month on medications AFTER insurance. Would this be grounds to have child support reduced? He and his ex each have custody of 1 child, but my husband makes 4x what his ex does so he is still paying $150 a week. It wasn’t an issue until he found out he had health concerns.

  • rob

    I am currently in the military but will be medically retired and put on permanent disability. The disability amount is less than half of what I was making. Can the support I pay for a child be reduced because of this.

  • pam

    i have two chilldren and one is disable and i get 384 a month in child support from their dad he just got a settlement do you think he would want to pay more not he bitcvhes about the stock market and whats going on there instead of wanting to give anymore money to help with his kids.

  • Kimmie

    Can you have an original decree modified if it states child support can never be revisited if I didn’t have any legal representation? My ex is making a considerable amount more and still only wants to give me $400 just as he has for the past 13 years.

  • kathy

    I was recenttly in car accident. Off on MLOA without benefits that are pending. My 4 children are grown. I’m still getting what was ordered back in 1991= $280 /month that just started in 2010. I need an increase as soon as possible. Where do I go from here? I live in Detroit Mich

  • Georgina

    I was married for 14 years and had one daughter who was 10 years then. During all these years I was practically supporting him while he was still trying to pass his graduate exams as MD. Unfortunatly he became disabled after a brain surgery and lost the use of his left hand, so I continued supporting him and our daughter. Four years later he stated teaching part time and filed for divorce. He got away with half of what I owned which was a two flat, and 200K cash, and half of my 401k. He claimed he was not making a lot of money and get away with not paying child support also due to his disability. Six months later he got remarried and within 4 years he had 4 children. His wife is a stay home mom and she can’t even drive so he does all choruses. He was supposed to pay for the daughter’s college but is refusing. He keep saying that he they can barley eat and that he has no money and live on government support. I am sure he is getting some money but I have no proved who is helping him. He is doing a good job at hiding where he is coming with the money. If he did not pay child support for my daughter is it legal for him to bring all these children? He claims he loves my daughter but he can not afford to help her. He rarely even gives her birthday gift money. My daughter is old enough now and thinks if he cared enough about her he would done anything to help her and not relying on just on me. He is getting mad because she is frefusing to talk to him and thinks I am teaching that. I will want my daughter to feel loved and that her father cares for her and I am not selfish to use her for my personal gain. I could care less about him and thanks God he is out of my life. He occasionally shows out at my door and I am sure his wife doesn’t know he is coming to our house. I tried to not open the door for him over and over but he never gives up and yet he is refusing to help our daughter. I am getting I am lost and doesn’t know what is wrong and what is right. All I know is that I raised such a good daughter and I am proud of her. I will give my life for her. Is that enough or she still needs a father love.

  • Just curious

    I’m receiving child support. I have added child care which he was order to pay. My child father took me back to court request more information on why I needed child care and request to stop child care order until next order date. The judge gave him his request. A year and 4-5 order case later the judge order back my child care. ( it took a year because either him or the judge had to reschedule ). My question is will I get my back pay of the child care expense from the they stopped until now?

    • go fuck yourself

      greedy biitches like you

  • rsnation

    My ex-wife and I have attempted post divorce modifications for child support and other topics that are not typical.(religion, corporal punishment, among others.. ) Needless to say this has not gone over well. After 8 hours of mediation that did not prove to provide an movement, she has requested discovery on all of my financial information, my house, my life insurance, my retirement, etc… Can I quash this? What about the outright lies she has been telling her attorney? What can I do?

  • Susan

    I am in Maine. Can my Child Support Enforcement request to protect my work bonus related to a financial hardship?

  • k

    Seen a lot of things one is dated a girl for couple of months and then find out after 9years and almost 800.00 dollars a month in child support
    And a d.n.a test , that I have a son, how can you have a relationship with a kid the you don’t knnow you and I don’t know him , the only thing I don’t get is the judge didn’t even ask me any questions just what I have to pay ( how can a father and a son have a relationship, if you don’t know each other after 9 almost 10 years

  • benny

    what i have to do to get my child support modified

  • Lil Mike

    He deserves what he gets but we all are not the same

  • Rob

    I pay 265 per week. My ex has been living at her parents house for the past four years. She makes a great living.She is an excellent mother. I get my 2 boys every other weekend,. a day during the week. My industry is going slow. I can barely afford to go see them sometimes for their games. I will have to get a second job to make ends meet now. Behind on everything. I couldnt even afford Easter things for my sons. With a second job I would pretty much see them about 6 days per month. I dont see a win. Recently I lost the extra income, which wasnt much, from the woman who was living with me. When I tell you the stress from the financial drain is insane. I wake up at four with my mind racing, dont eat and dry heave almost every morning. Does a judge even care, how many guys either disappeared or jumped from a bridge? Til 21 and college too? I cant even start another relationship because I cant afford to go out. My ex just got passports for the boys, went to Cabo to “relax”. I have no problem with that .I need to adjust this. its killing me.

  • lisa

    Can I get the child support modified in the state of Ct. The order was put in the state of NY but I live to far out in ct to go back. he sends the check through the state. I’m requesting more money.

    • Ranger

      Why not just get another job? I guess it’s far easier to dip in someone else s’ pocket?

      • sindirty

        You mean dip into the person pockets who is not there to take care of his kid? Let me guess you are a deadbeat dad that hate’s to pay child support to a kid you don’t even see. You just want to run away an call yourself a dad, maybe make a phone call, send a gift once every couple years. Most these absent parents, never spend a day taking their kid to an from school, doctors visit, or any kind of daily things necessary to raise a kid. They should be lucky money is all they have to do, for 18 years, other then that they can live their lives like they never had a kid.

        • lild0lly

          Maybe there not dead beat dads maybe the mother is selfish. She likes to keep the children from the dad,and the dad is miserable not seeing his children. He cant do anything about because the courts favor the women. Before you judge the so called dead beat dads walk a mile in there shoes first .

          • sindirty

            The majority of the time their dead beat dads an that’s the truth. Not only are they dead beat dads for not even trying to see or spend the right amount of time with their kids, if it was up to those guys they wouldn’t pay shit they only pay because its taken from his check.

          • I hate assholes

            Wrong there, they’re* you proved you’re (not your, fyi) an idiot in more ways than one.

        • Shelley

          I agree with sindirty

      • autism mom

        what the what Ranger Dik

      • Shelley

        You sound just like one of those dead beat dads that chose to comment on posts to demand that your child’s mother take complete responsibility of him/her because it’s her fault she got pregnant. You are a true disgrace to this forum.

  • Jerry

    Since my original order I have had 3 additional children. My child support was increased due to cost of living about 4 years ago. Now just the other day I found out I had another child that I was forced to pay child support for also. This brings me to 4 children. I have suffered possible evictions recently. Are these bases that the court will consider reducing my child support?

  • Jimm

    Kinda funny how there are so many women on here saying “its his fault, its his fault! im helpless!” Look, YOU spread your legs didnt you? Unless you were able to impregnante yourself, you’re both at fault.

    Trust me, I take MORE BLAME than she does for my daughter. And it seems most are only hard up for the money because they want to be.

    What about when she has a child with another man fought to make sure he didn’t pay child support because “HE doesnt want to see his child, so I’m not going to make him pay.” but was filing the paperwork on you before she even had the baby because u wanted to be in your kids life.

    What about when she tells you on more than one occasion “I need $ for your daughter to have shoes, clothes, a new backpack for school.” “What happened to the $ from child support?” “My parents and I needed cigarettes and my parents wanted a bag of weed so I got that for them too.” You all want to say how child support goes to expenses….when the fuck did grandparents needing to smoke pot become essential to the child’s well-being and being raised?

    • colernx3

      No one should b smoking ANYTHING around the kids. My daughter gets child support after leaving an abusive relationship after she got pregnant. He had to fight in court to see the baby n w all the proof n the paper trail of abuse she had…he got visits…SUPERVISED VISITS for the first yr. No overnites until she was 3 and reevaluated n yes…20% of his gross income. He’s grown up a lot..had some ups n downs..but actually does contribute to the child’s extra curricular activities occasionally. Preschool..parties..he buys clothes n essentials to keep at his house. He got away w less c.s. than he was supposed to pay because greedy attys kept it in court as long as they could n she could no longer afford them. They both agreed to dismiss their attys n she received $40 per wk less than she was entitled to for her daughter. She attends college to better herself so she can get a great paying job to raise her child. He actually gave up 2 nights saying it was taking up too much of his time getting her that extra night per week. Its not always money hungry bitchy women. In this is half a deadbeat dad! He may pay the lower amt (not quite the 20%) but a dad who doesnt want to see his child that often. So sad!

    • fedupwithsorrymen

      All of you are egotistical, narcissistic jackasses. My daughter’s father lost his job back in november and told a friend he wasn’t going to find another job so he wouldn’t have to pay child support. So within 2 weeks I found a job so my daughter would have insurance. All he has done is buy his new illegal immigrant girlfriend a car, remodeled his house, take her on vacations since being laid off but wants child support reduced because he’s broke. I don’t know who some of you think you are but I know where all of you can go!

      • pumpkin

        Say that again!They can go to hell!

  • Ryan

    My ex wife and I divorced and have 2 children together ages 13 and 7. The 13 year old has lived with me in TN for more than a year now, I have actual custody signed by a judge. The mother lives with the 7 year old in Fl. I still pay child support for both of the boys. I do not mind paying cs AT ALL. Thing is, now that 13 yo is living with me and I pay for everything concerning him, he could use that extra money that I am paying to his mom. How do I file a modification? Do I have to get an attorney? Will they under TN laws or FL laws? I had an attorney in order to get the custody order drawn up for my older boy and to make sure everything is legit. He was supposed to see me through the mediation and child support modification process but nothing has been done for over a year and with him being in FL and me being in TN I cannot just go to his office and can never get him on the phone. At the very least, he helped me with custody of my son and I am grateful just need to know where to go from here. Thanks

  • BeeBee

    I worked a job for eighteen years, paid child support faithfully. The job went bankrupt, I had a few surgeries, was told by the doctor that I would have change my career and lifestyle. I had a disability lawyer, because disability was one option, because more surgery was possible. I asked the judge for child support modification because previously my wages was $14.93 per hr. now $210.00 per month, his response, was to make adjustments after the determination of my disability case. So my support started to rise while paying $200+ per week, while getting $210 per month. My disability was denied, the lawyer no longer represented me, child support exceeded $30,000, days in jail while schooling to change my career. Thank God, I recieved my degree, did not get a job in my field, but I did get one ($8.20 per hr.) to pay my support. Again, I tried for a decrease, but once again, because it was said that I have the potential to make the same type of income. Is there really a such thing as hardship in New Jersey, I did not quit my job of eighteen years, they just went bankrupt. If it is, WHERE?

  • ace

    my ex husband is such a duchebag, and i know there are fathers out there that would love to have every bit of their child’s lives in their hand… however i get the minimum child support from him and he could care less if they are alive….anyway i had to move and the place i moved to i have to pay more for rent and it is seriously putting a wrench in my life cuz now i have to work so much that i barely get to see my babies. is there a way to get it raised knowing that he now has another job and making WAY more money than i, to help with the cost of living, or do i just go to the court system asking for a adjustment with COLA???

  • arica

    i was working when my boyfriend and i when to court for child support, i lost my job 4month after that. 2 week after i lost my job he filled a modification asking the judge to decrease the payment and backpay.i still have to pay babysitter cuz i go to school in the afternoon.what do you think well happen?by the way i pay babysitter in cash

  • Molly

    I would like to know what i can do because i recently almost was evicted. I didnt know my right as a tenant an now i have almost 2000 in court fees. My sons father has been trying to find an accuse to lower his child support and since the last time we were in court for visitation they told him he needed to be leaving on his own and haveing a hard time living to lower it he applied before evening trying it out an filed a motion to modiffy to lower the current order and he owe back childsupport

  • Molly

    continued i wanna know if he can do this he picked an apartment out of budget knowing to lower childsupport

  • Brittany

    Okay I’m currently living in baton Rouge Louisiana and mynow boyfriend pays 494 for his son and his monthly income is 800 dollars after taxes we have a daughter together and since he doesn’t have the money for the things she needs it have to ask my parents to help us from her on down to our bills that’s we can’t pay. We’ve fallen so behind we got put out our apartment and we’re homeless for almost 3 months and with in those three months he lost his lost and has fallen behind in child support now his ex the mother of his son is asking him to pay daycare fees and want let him see his son because she doesn’t want her son around me i wanted to know could she ask for him to pay daycare fees and keep his son away from him and why is it that he pays so much after she got a job and the amount never reduced.

    • emilie

      My ex isn’t remarried has an awesome job and somehow manages to get his support reduce to ONLY 200 which he only pays when he feels like if. He lives in an expensive house with brand new cars while the courts just don’t care. What can I do

      • Ranger

        Get a better job and make more money, and be responsible for yourself. Stop spending your life figuring out how you can get more money from someone else.

        • MissLady

          And you are the reason why there are babies without daddies. I forgot it only takes one person to make the baby now. “Don’t commit the crime if you can’t do the time,” honey.

          • Ranger

            Try keeping your legs closed. I know it’s tough for you whores out there, but it can be done.

        • sindirty

          The same could be said for the Dad, be responsible for seeing an taking care of your kid, if you can’t do that why have a kid. An if you do have a kid don’t cry like a baby when your child support goes up. At the very least you could have stood in the kid’s life an got joint support or close to it, let me guess you don’t ever see the kid an just wish your responsibility was nothing more then a birthday card. Now you come on here an think your bitterness will change something, lol it won’t you still have to pay for what your running away from.

        • Caly213

          Hey,Stranger danger Ranger, your an asshole, your not just an asshole you’re the whole ASS! We are not looking to scam random people especially the father , if you can call them that, I prefer to call it like it is, I can’t even call him a sperm doner, because this is my childs blood, that vowed to always take care of his son, but betrayed us both with lies & cheating, he ALWAYS put his toys & himself 1st, never had a bank account, never paid Taxes has a toy hauler, RV, Corvette, black Chrysler 300 w lamborghini doors, a nice black Hummer, and a Ford 250 lifted custom limited edition Harley Davidson truck, he went on to have 2 more kids with 2 different woman. He does not pay or see his daghter he had w the other woman ,after our son. He knew how to always stock me for 15 years, somehow he always showed up with my son if he had him that day, or weekend I would let him go! but, he would come to restaurants that I would be, and for absolutely no reason at all, he was in a relationship, and still tried to see me & always used the excuse I’m just driving by. I did try again for the sake of our son, mind you my son was only 2 months old when I left him, my son was 11 or so when we tried again, As much as I love my son, nothing felt right about the situation, me knowing everything he did to us,just disgusted angry with my self that I allowed this Loser to manipulate me into being a “family”, never the less he was a master at getting what he wants, when he wants, finally there was a court order for him to pay, but he lied and said he doesn’t work & had an attorney, if you don’t work how can pay for an attorney? It is what it is! I was a certified Medical Assistant working in cardiology, making only 14 or 15.00 bucks an hour, I had no help and my son had been run over by a car needed both of us, but dad didn’t do what real fathers do, he went hm, didn’t ask if we needed help, nothing! back to the court hearing they wanted this man to pay 75 $ a month for child support, I took care of that with pictures of all his things & toys, he ended up paying 300.00 , but, big but his attorney was scum & told my sons dad he could pay 1 month skip 2 months, because it takes 90 days for a state to issue a warrant! so this is how it went for only six months, then he stopped all together, I could have used his help, I was 28 just found out that I had Stage 3 Thyroid Cancer, had to have Radiation 2 Radical neck dissection’s and out of work for 3 months. I forced myself to go back to work when I had no voice, I could only whisper to the elderly patient’s. It was life altering, to top it off, I ignored him at my door 1 night my son was with me, we were hiding in my Apt peeking out the window, hoping and praying he would leave it was 9 at night, then I see him knife 2 of my low profile tires that cost my dad 600 dollars, I called the police they made a report, but how am I going to take my son to school & go to work the next day? You tell me if that is a man that loves his son or someone besides himself? He was my high school first love & my sons father so he begged me to drop the charges & not go to court, so I did. He promised to buy new ones but never did, I guess I’m just a fool for thinking he might of actually thought he was wrong for what he did! “To make a short story longer” he is not right in the head, & only looks out for himself. I guess he is a Sociopath. I don’t know how else to explain it, that is the only logical reasoning to his behavior, as a man, as a father, my poor son, I did everything, I was mom and pop only sick! So it upsets me when your on here talking to these woman like they are nobody’s & looking for handouts, because YOU WILL NEVER BE WHAT A MOTHER IS or know how much we sacrifice, to teach our kids Love ,Respect, Honor , and most importantly taking care of your family! You guys move on so fast , but I waited for my son to be 18 with a job, car, and the good HEART , & head on his shoulder’s when I decided I would date serious or get married! I swore I would not ever get married, but now I feel different about it, maybe Life happened just the way it was suppose to! I’m greatful for still being here to see my son turn 19. I’m now 36 and wiser, I won’t make the same mistake twice! I learned my lesson! So please think about what comes out of your mouth, before it actually does!

          • Ranger

            Wow , that was a long diatribe. So, he left and lied and all that stuff. So you spend your waking hours tormented about the past? Why not move ahead and be a better person? People do stupid crap all the time, but to allow what another person does take over your emotions and get you so angered only serves the other person well, not you or your son.
            I didn’t have a half an hour to read that novel of babble, so if I missed your point, I really don’t care.
            Stop relying on others for anything, even the father of a child. You suffer the consequences of your actions.

          • Alvarez Cat

            True momma always tought me to never depend on no on especially on a man.. Why worry about what your ex is living …that’s very dumb and u can’t force someone to be in ur child’s life

        • Burgy

          I really like this Ranger person…

          • Ranger

            I like you too.

        • Mike

          Fuck you

          • Ranger

            Heck no, you’d probably get pregnant and want child support!

          • Alvarez Cat

            Ahahah to love off $$$

          • Shelley

            WOW! What a terrible thing to say! You are a horrible person.

          • Ranger

            Guess that’s why you are where you are at in life. Nice talk from an adult.

      • Caly213

        emliie read my post scroll down to Caly213, there is 2 of them! I was ok last night, but the one today was more for my self, since my gaurd is always up when it comes to men?

      • Father

        Your a fckn bum and an asshole. Go make a life for your self and your child.

    • Dennis Louviere

      Brittany I’m living in Lafayette the more he sees child say 50 percent time they will have to drop support but he needs a 50 59 custody order if he hasn’t lost his writes I see this is 3 years ago but

  • Bread winner

    Amen barb! I hate when people say its not the ‘new wifes’ business. You two share your life. Every thing that affects him affects you also. Not only you, but your children also! My man let’s his ex walk all over him. He pays a crazy amount of child support going off income from an old job! He is even out of work due to back surgery and hasn’t even made a call to the courts! She collected her support and he brought home a 100 paycheck. Now, the bills are all up to me. AGAIN! We are not even married! I would never say ‘I DO’ to a man that can’t handle his issues. We do have a child together. I dont regret my child but I wish I would have payed more attention to his life choices before I agreed to having his baby. He made it seem he had it all under control. Now, he can’t survive without me. I feel stuck and he does Nothing to make this life better for us. I do want his other children to live well and get what they deserve. But, only what he can afford. They are not my children!

    • Ranger

      When you lay down with dogs you get fleas.

  • Amy

    I live in Reno, Nevada and filed for child support for my three month old son because I was pressured in to it by my mother. Is it possible to not receive child support at all anymore?

    • Tacrok

      No. A child’s right to receive support from his or her parents is inherent and can’t be waived. Basically you can’t waive your childs right for support.

    • Ranger

      Amy, Tacrok doesn’t have a fucking clue what they are talking about. That opinion is another angry uneducated sour grapes idiot.

      The custodial parent who receives child support can at any time they wish petition the court and drop the entire case and all monetary orders will cease.
      Remember that YOU took the non-custodial parent to court and ASKED for the order. The court did not come to you and force you to arrange for child support.

      Any Family Law Facilitator can explain exactly how simple the process to end a child support case is.

      Amy, keep in mind while on this or any other site that these are vindictive and pissed off people. They spew opinions and feelings, and know nothing about the courts or the law except for what their sleazeball lawyers told them about their cases. Lawyers do not want you to know that you can extinguish and order. They don’t make money when there are no cases.

      YES, you can end the order with a phone call and a request to quash the current order and dismiss the case.

  • litttlesnuggler

    I have been payin child support for a years now on my 16 year old son recently my husband has got sick and can’t work and I have 4 others kids and getting ready to have a baby any day and they are trying to get me for contempt of court cause I can’t afford to pay it anymore what can I do

  • Joe

    My ex and I have a 15 year old son, she has primary physical custody. She recently was fired from her job because she kept calling off due to headaches. She apparently took so much time off for this that she exhausted her FMLA. She is now seeking an increase in support. I need to know if they will really base any increase on her 0 income now, or if it will still be based on her potential income since she was fired with cause. My wife and I have 4 other children and I’m concerned that this is really going to adversely affect us.

    • Ranger

      The courts love these cases! All they see is Mo Money Mo Money! The courts don’t give a hoot about kids, or how much any side makes. They will look at both, and which ever derives more income to the state, that will be their ruling.

  • ariel

    Most of these welfare ass bitches getting child support don’t spend it on the child they use it for there personal needs .these female’s are lazy they don’t wanna work just wanna live off people.the mothers that are using the money for there kids kudos to you

    • will

      I pay 800$ a month child support for one child and her mother and I had a one month relationship, never married. She told me couple months after the child was born that it was mine. She is 6 now, and we just got done with a custody battle and I won with 50/50. yeah you heard me right won with 50/50. i paid 6000$+ for my attorney and 3000$ for her attorney, yes they made me pay her attorney. We met to school together, she got her BS and stopped, and i finished my masters. She went on to do nothing and have two more kids. Yeah good job. i was able to demonstrate that she has the ability to earn minimum wage. But she could earn more with her BS, she is just lazy and wont work. I guess its my job to find her a job. That would help my child out the most. Everybody works.

      • Wildbeast

        800 a month? You must make some serious cash! Calc says you make 200k, I’d hire a better lawyer and get full custody.

        • Heather

          What state do you live in? What makes you think he makes $200,000???? My ex pays $189 a week and makes $50,000 a year. And this is in NY

          • LL

            Wow, my boyfriend pays $1435/ month for (2) kids and only makes $37,000! We are in Georgia. It’s ridiculous. Mom is unstable, has moved 3x since April court with kids and had 3 jobs just this year alone in which she has gotten fired from all 3 within months. She has taken them out of daycare which is in CS worksheet for dad to pay 70%. Courts only tell him it is to remain and didn’t even care about kids situation going from random house to random house and mom not working. So much other petty drama from her but don’t have the time to discuss. Just sad all around.

      • Anonymous

        Excellent observation. I think a past, present and formal relationship stays should be judged and determined depending on wether or not the father should pay for a lawyer. In that case. A 1 month relationship is not enough say so in the father paying for her lawyer. That’s insane. In my opinion the past, present and formal relationship determination should be more evaluated. It just seems fair for both parties when being judged for who gets what.

    • Wildbeast

      Nope they don’t. I pay my xwife for two kids, “she lives at home @ 32 years old” She has a brand new car, always getting her hair and nails done, constantly pawning off the kids to go on dates, but has no problem asking for money saying she’s broke and needs food for the kids.

  • Doris

    In California, if the the man married the children’s nanny, does the non custodial, ex-wife have to pay child support, if the man insists he is still paying the nanny (his new wife) to watch the children?

    • Wildbeast

      In California if you are male you are fuked in a custody battle. Notice that cute lil CSA agent helping you out, yea she’s not your friend, and it will always be a woman.

  • Reginald Harris

    In the state of Georgia I gross 2400 a month pay 495 mo support 75 arrears and 300 mo insurance isn’t that high how can I get that reduced?

    • Wildbeast

      Get a job that pays lower, have your payment redone. Leave said job, don’t tell the x because you know them and money, find yourself a new job..

      Pretty sad when you google non custodial paying child support fathers and it pulls up tons of links about these guys finding any way they can to stay a float while paying their x’s. Because my X wanted to live with her parents, i’m not stuck paying for her life for many many years. Apparently courts are cool with 30+ year old “kids” living at home with mommy and daddy their whole life while raising their own kids.

      If you advance in life or pay in anyway, and she finds out, she will milk you!

      Gives you real reason to want to better yourself and continue on your life.
      Best fathers in the world get treated like trash in this Women’s Child Support System.
      1 out of 1000’s of fathers will have custody of their kids, and that’s because she’s either in jail or 100% proved to be unfit. If there is a 1% doubt, kids will go to her. Avoid California if you ever want to have kids, and don’t want to live there, as soon as you leave the state, you loose all your rights.

      If you look at statistics, women who are non custodial are 93% to not pay child support where males are at a ever low 34%. But guys will always be the dead beats, even the ones who pay in any single mothers eyes.

      • angry women

        I agree and m a women my husband is paying child support and we have 3 kids of our own. I’ve paid for everything for our kids because his money goes to his ex who has everything under sun from the state. Then on top of that every time they come out I’m the one with them doing everything while she sits around and complains I dont do anything. She also has another child from someone else and wants us to take that child as well. All my money goes to my kids and bills and I have nothing left which I’m not complaining because those are my kids. I just don;t get how its fair that she gets cs plus money food stamps section 8 health insurance and we pay for everything and get nothing.

        • Pumpkin

          Lol its funny how you women/wives sit up and bitch about your so called husbands paying child support to the mothers of the kids that they had way before your sorry asses showed up,saying things like child support takes away from our kids that we have at home and we can barely make ends meet,Honey im sure you knew how many kids he had before you said i do,i mean,what did you think was gonna happen??? Bet you thought you could just forget about his other kids and focus on yours,my answer to you is If you got a problem with your precious husband paying what he owes to his children GET A DIVORCE ,you thought you would have it made thats all now look at you!

          • Heather

            Spoken like a true jealous bitch. What happened? Your man left you for someone better and you can’t let it go? You are absolutely right…why should any man have the opportunity to start over in a new life after making mistakes and getting involved with the wrong person? They should all be stuck and held prisoner by nasty jealous bitches like you? Dumb ass ignorant bitch!

          • pumpkin

            Yoy mad lol bitch probably not even married,Dumb hoe! Shout out to his kids mother! Hoe you dont matter! Wife??? Da fuck outta here!

          • pumpkin

            That’s the cost you pay when you marry a MF with kids dummy,now go sit ya broke ass down somewhere with ya husband,because i dont give a damn how much you hate it but he’s gonna take care of his kids slut one way or another,your checking account or his

        • IamReallyBored

          I just have one thing to say here. All of the women here are going to get pissed, and I really don’t give a fuck because it’s the truth and it needs to be said. Angry woman, I agree with you. I am having a similar problem. I’m not married to my current partner but he does have a child by a woman (I say woman loosely) back in his more desperate days. I used to think he was exaggerating when he told me about her, until I met her. She is a monster. She keeps his child from him, and never has enough money that she always needs child support. Hilariously enough, she always has the money and time to run to the court house to keep filing because guess what? He doesn’t make enough to even qualify. She is selfish, vindictive, and angry that hes moved on. How do I know this? Because this ALL started when I appeared. Literally. He had to get a visitation order because she refused to let him see her unless he was at her house. Why? Because it was never about the child. She wanted him to spend time with her. And when he paid too much attention to his daughter, he was immediately thrown out for “being rude.” Now that she’s finally realized after her many attempts at trying to seducing him(yes, while we were together, she is very disrespectful), calling in the middle of the night, and all around just being immature, she’s not getting him back she’s doing everything she can to remove him from his child’s life entirely. Since she can’t have him, there’s no reason for him to be a father anymore apparently. Although she has no problem with him being an atm. Look, I’m not mad about the kid. People fuck up and have kids. Hell more than HALF of my generation isn’t supposed to be here. I’m the ONLY person I know that was actually planned for. I also have no problem with the true mothers out there, that are out there day and night busting their asses to provide for their children and I have even more respect for the ones that do it alone. Yes alone, with no support. Not all women are my bf’s ex, but a lot of them are. I have been saying for a long time that CS needs to be changed. First of all, no more blank checks. They get a certain amount allocated to them by the state in a state bank account, which they need to access to get things for their child. AND keep receipts. No more baby mamas spending all of their kid’s money on themselves. It’s ridiculous. And that’s another thing… (here comes the hate mail). Enough of women with this logic. “He shouldn’t have had a baby if he didn’t want to be a dad!” Let me tell you something. Men don’t have babies. Women do. You can use condoms, birth control, spermicide, AND plan B and still be unlucky enough to get someone pregnant. Rare, but it can happen. And when it does, the man has no say whatsoever in the situation. I’m not saying that men should be able to tell us what to do with our bodies. What I am saying is that we shouldn’t be able to control their lives because of it. We as women have power over life. Us. Not them. That means that if one of us gets pregnant (Here come the flamers), WE bring that child into this world. Not him. WE are most responsible. Yes, he made it. But YOU made the decision to carry it for nine months and have it. Or keep it if you don’t believe in abortion. Children have become a weapon. Immature girls get pregnant and think that having a baby will keep their man. When it doesn’t work, they turn into monsters. Having a child doesn’t fix, your relationship. It destroys it. Statistically speaking a guy is supposedly 50% MORE likely to leave you if you get pregnant. And then they want to be mad at the world when they are alone with a baby. It’s stupid. I’m not saying that he shouldn’t be a man and take care of his child. He should. SHOULD. If he doesn’t, he’s a dead beat loser with no sense of responsibility, however… his entirely life shouldn’t be ruined if he decides to be that loser. Because when you really break it down… He had no choice in the matter. He never will. Because it’s our body. So while I may lose respect for a man who walks out on his kid, I’m not going to judge him for it. Some people aren’t ready for kids, and some never will be. Maybe if more people were smart enough to realize that we wouldn’t have so many bad kids running around because of bad parents. Don’t make the choice to have a child if you aren’t ready to handle it yourself. Even if you don’t have to, you should always be ready to. A person should always be ready to stand alone. If you don’t believe in abortion, there is always adoption. If you “don’t have the money” for an abortion, then go find it. Because I assure you, that few hundred or more dollars now is FAR FAR less than you will spend when that child gets here. Here’s my philosophy. If you are incapable of caring for yourself, whether that be financially, emotionally, mentally, or otherwise… you are not capable of caring for a child. If you can’t handle your own life, why fuck up theirs? It’s just irresponsible. Now, to end my rant, I say to each their own. Everyone has their own opinions and choices. I personally am just tired of seeing everyone attack these men for something that honestly, only a select few bad people at there actually do. Not every guy is a dead beat. Some just don’t have the money. Some just plain aren’t ready. Some ARE trying and just have a crazy ex who’s pissed off that he’s moved on, and it’s not fair. Stop attacking these people when you don’t know their story. And one more thing. In my opinion, NO unemployed woman without a disability has any right to demand child support. Get a fucking job like the rest of us. Until you start contributing to the mess that YOU started, don’t go demanding for help from someone else. Stand on your own before demanding a crutch. Good day to you all, I will be around to respond to my hate mail in the coming days. 🙂

        • Ranger

          I smell bullshit! What do you mean “everything under the sun from the State”?
          Nobody, including any whore with a kid in any State, can receive Welfare and get child support.
          How do I know? My ex took my daughter out of state without permission for over 10 years with no contact or knowledge of their whereabouts. She showed up asking for her child support of 10 years ($35,000 at the time). I took her to court, and my attorney proved her to be in Nevada, California, Oregon, and Denver during those years, and getting welfare and food stamps.
          The Judge in Los Angeles County Court/South Bay District told her she CAN NOT receive welfare and child support. The Judge ( a woman) threw the case out and allowed her $0 settlement.

          She then 6 months later, left and never was seen again. I never saw my daughter until she was 23 years old.

          You’re lying or omitting information.

    • Ranger

      Conduct an Operation Breitbart or Operation Hastings.

    • Pumpkin

      So your saying you $15 an hour right??

    • Ranger

      If you listen to wildbeast below, you’ll end up in a mountain of trouble, maybe even incarceration. You can not quit your job in order to get a lower wage job to reduce support. It’s illegal!
      What you want to do is locate, interview and set up another job. Keep your current position and get FIRED!! That way it is the company you work for releasing you and then you are legal. After that, you can request a modification of support.

      Some people give bad advice and don’t understand the courts and sometimes the law.

  • will

    I pay 800$ a month child support for one child and her mother and I had a one month relationship, never married. She told me couple months after the child was born that it was mine. She is 6 now, and we just got done with a custody battle and I won with 50/50. yeah you heard me right won with 50/50. i paid 6000$+ for my attorney and 3000$ for her attorney, yes they made me pay her attorney. We met at school together, she got her BS and stopped, and i finished my masters. She went on to do nothing and have two more kids. Yeah good job. i was able to demonstrate that she has the ability to earn minimum wage. But she could earn more with her BS, she is just lazy and wont work. I guess its my job to find her a job. That would help my child out the most. Everybody works.

    I have a friend starting a business and he would pay her 15$ a hour with her credentials. I know she won’t take it (I wish she would), Regardless if she takes the job. Can I have her hourly income changed from minimum wage, to 15$ an hour?

    Because a 6 year old does not need 800$ a month from me, when she is with me half the time.

    • Wildbeast

      All they care about is money, and they see big $$$ signs floating over your head when a kid’s involved, it don’t matter if she abused you, lied to the courts, you will pay!

      • Ranger

        Truer words were never spoken. In the eyes of the Judge and the Court you are a case number and a revenue source, nothing more, nothing less. They could care less about anyone’s bratty snotty nosed cute little kid, or any mother or fathers concerns or complaints. They want the MONEY!!

  • Wildbeast

    And women are all alike in being money hungry weasels. Pretty sad when you can lie and use a guy, get kids out of him, them milk him for it for the next 20 years. Can’t wait for child support laws to change, no reason anyone should pay for your lifestyle.

  • baby girl

    I have a question.. my friends ex husband got remarried had a new baby and my friend also got remarried and has a daughter with her ex, he refuse to visit his daughter, took a letter into child support stating he can only work part time due to heart issues, now my friend gets no child support and her daughter never sees her father, please help she wants him to either help support his daughter or sign rights away and he refuses to do either one, what can she do? lives in Georgia

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  • jude

    My husbands daughter which he pays child support for has moved out of her mothers in with her boyfriend..she doesnt turn 18 for 3 more months..what do we do? Can we have them modify the case n start paying arrears?!?

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  • huck

    My daughter turned 18 in September 2013 and my employer received termination of income withholding for support. In April 2014, my employer received request papers for income withholding for support again, same employer just so you know. My question is where Did the $2000 principal balance they are saying I owe come from, because I was current when the paperwork was done in September? Why Did they cancel in September and then send it back again? My daughter basically graduated high school now and it seems someone made a mistake in September by cancelling it due to her turning 18 so Why am I being penalized for someone else’s mistake? What can we do??

  • emilie

    My daughter is still in college and still child support age and she was emancipated ?? And my son support was not only reduced but the judge allowed him to pay even lower without explaining why? Do???

  • lin

    how can I get my ex wife’s proof of income to modify my child support

    • Ranger

      File a Modification of Support Order, and she’ll have to produce her income to the court.

  • Mandy

    I’m going thru a divorce and my soon to be ex-husband wants to give less child support because he says the child support my 1st husband gives for my first 2 children ( my first 2 kids are w my 1st ex) should count with my income..?Rhode Island

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  • teixeira

    Father of 2 kids tried to got share custdoy but judge let the mom take away with it and now judge ruin my life for have pay child support ever my children still live here with me full time and the court haven’t yet confirm til aug
    any help here?

  • brisa

    My ex bf is sending me late child support by mailing them can I change it so state can deduct it from his check instead

    • Ranger

      Try not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

  • im 19 in nyc how can I get my mother to transfer over my child support payments that my dad makes every month? I dont live with her Im dorming at a college dorm and when im not I stay with my dad.

  • michael

    I’m getting a divorce and my soon to be ex wife has an RN degree but quit her job a month ago. Will this make me have to pay more child support?

  • Nana

    The mother has problems can not afford to care for child . So she agreed for the child to live with me permenantly. How can I stop the child support payments?

  • Norm

    My wife has primary custody of my 2 sons. She has not been with them for 2 years, having them live with her mother in AlPaso tx while she lives with her sister and works in Dallas, Tx. I live in Houston. She wants to raise my child support. Isn’t she partly responsible for their expenses? I pay $1000 monthly, never missed and family medical insurance for the boys for about $600 a month. She was not working and living with her grandparents when the support was set in court 3 years ago. Why should my child support go up without her putting a financial obligation toward my sons also? And she does not even have them with her but in AlPaso, Tx with her mother? She even collected them as a deduction on her taxes but they Have not lived with her for a year and half?

  • gabriella

    We have filed for modification of child support. My husband is court ordered to pay 780 a month. He only makes 22,000 a year. We have not been able to make it on this amount after taxes and child support and health insurance has been taken out. We filed for modification back in April of this year, they never contacted us. We called them consistently for the past two months hoping for an answer since on the forms it says can take up to 180 days. It has been this long. We just found out today that child support services has been waiting on his ex’s side of paperwork and they just received it and that it will now take another 180 days. Is this truly correct? I am so confused. We have three children at home with us as it is, and we filed for taxes this past April along with Injured spouse. We filed for the Earned income credit for my three children. However, since i was not working due to neck surgery in December they said that he made more than me and therefore over 6000 dollars went to his back child support owed. I was allotted almost 1000 dollars of my childrens earned income credit. We have paid over 10,000 dollars in back child support over the past two years along with monthly payments of 780. Back in 2011 he owed 12,000, after we paid 10,000 it states he owes 17,000. We can not afford a lawyer. We can not seem to get out of this hole. I do not understand why it keeps going up instead of chiseling away at his debt. We are so broke that it is very hard to put food on the table none the less buy my children school clothes. The doctor has not released me to go back to work due to the extensive surgery done on my neck. I am to be very careful. I can not even drive. Is there any help out there for people in our situation?

    • Deana

      We are in almost the same situation you are. My husband is still paying back child support on 3 of his kids that are fully grown and have families of their own. He doesn’t even owe the state, DHR says its just the mother he owes. He also pays child support for another teenage child that he didn’t even know about till she was 13. He went on workman comp for almost a year and they didn’t take the child support out and so he got behind. Now for the last 2 years they have taken our taxes and they split it up between the two so it makes the one that is more current stay behind. I don’t see how they can take his tax money and give it to the mother of his kids that are grown when he doesn’t even owe the state the money or isn’t even as far behind as they say. I have two children of my own and the only reason I can file injured spouse is because he claims them on his taxes and gets child tax credit. We want to have a child of our own together but he had a vasectomy a few years bac

      • Deana

        back before we got married. We have been waiting on the money from our taxes to get it his vasectomy reversed because insurance doesn’t pay for this. Since they keep taking our taxes we can’t get the surgery done so we can have a child together. The surgery is expensive and we can never get caught up to even start saving any money.There is no justice when it comes to the government or when it comes to child support. We do need help very badly.

      • sindirty

        You don’t see how they would tax his money lol, he’s a deadbeat dad with four kids he didn’t raise. Who else do you want to pay for them the government, the mothers by themselves. Now you want to have a kid with a guy that has at least 4 kids he didn’t take care of lol good job women your on the right track I bet you will love to file child support against him in the near future.

      • Pumpkin

        You sound dumb,Big ups to the kids mother,hope she contines to drag his bomb ass back to court!

  • Sheri Cutler

    Such a mess – when the ex takes advantage. I’ve been on both sides of the support so I know she is wrong. The original case was filed in the state of NY, she moved without telling my husband in 2005 – he lost his job and filed for a modification. That was when he found out during the call in hearing that she had moved and the state of NY dismissed the case stating neither party lived in the state and they could not modify it. They knew when he called an asked how to file – and kept his $100. So, we had no idea where she had moved to – the case worker said they didn’t have to tell him even though the had joint custody. So by mailings and phone calls, we found she had moved them to VA. We visited them three times – at which one time the mother asked that he sign papers for their last name to be changed to hers that it would be easier on the girls in school – the girls agreed that they wanted this, so he agreed. What she had up her sleeve was unknown. He bought them a computer so he could keep in touch on the internet with them. So, the contact stopped and a letter was returned, no longer at this address. So the hunt begins again. I happened to get the oldest to be my friend on FB where I noticed

  • sean

    my ex is supposed to inform me of changes in child care costs. she is not doing so and I am continuing to pay the full amount even though it has been cut in half. Can I request a modification just for the child care?

  • chris

    My ex partner took child support off we went thru an attorney and did the whole thing thru the courts everything good 100%…..this was 2 years ago…..I now have a better lifestyle and fixed my life according to this new lifestyle……last week she said that she wants to reinstate child support…….can she do that…I am in Texas

  • Elisa

    I am in South Carolina. It will be a year since being awarded child support. However, my ex received a raise on his job and the needs of my son have increased. He is also denying my son. He declined a dna test before. What can i do?

  • tcast33

    Okay my husband has been divorced from his ex since 2010. They had 2 kids and when they went o court (in Mississippi) they wanted to do joint custody so neither one had to pay child support. Well the judge said they could not do it like that. So after jumping through many hoops my husband was made to pay child support while the ex remained with physical custody of the kids. Well it wasn’t long after the divorce when the kids were back living with us and they were still taking child support from my husband. He called them and told them what was going on and then they told him to prove we had the kids for the time we had said. Which we did with school documents, doctors visits, and other government documents. They then after all this told him there was nothing to be done. Well the ex went to prison for drugs all while my husband was still paying child support (we had the kids full time by this point). While in prison and out of prison she barley had any contact with the kids phone, mail, or otherwise. We kept records of every visit and call. Well my husband finally left the job he had been working just to make it stop. The youngest had went back to the mom for like 2 months before we decided to move to another state. The day before we went o leave she told the youngest one that he had to go with us because she couldn’t take care of him (she hasn’t had a stable home, job, or anything since divorce). So he came with us along with the oldest one she barley had anything to do with. Since being here she hardly called them yet again and when she did it was to only talk to the youngest one. She would tell them she sent them things and when she was told they didn’t get them I was blamed for it. I would never take something from their mother that’s just sick as I am also a parent. Well the youngest has went back to his mom but the oldest stayed. Now she is getting the full amount of child support ordered by the judge for both kids for just the one now. We are not getting anything from her on the one we have. Now the one that lives with her is smoking, drinking, quit school, gotten tattoos, has gained a massive amount of weight, etc…. When he needs something he calls me or my husband and we send HIM the money to get what he needs. We just want to know where we should file for the child support modification at? And if there is something we can do about the other with her lying to the government. And wouldnt it balance out with her having one kid and us having the other? We just dont know what to do as we can not afford an attorney to fix this for us.

  • robr

    I’ve got one for ya!! My ex girlfriend and I separated four months after our daughter was born. Her choice the grass was greener. I knew it was for the best because she was nuts. We separate and she asks for $300 per month child support. I agree and pay my child support basically as hush money and then proceed to but my daughter whatever she needs on top including clothes, food, anything including private school in the later years. She never works but does however go on to have two more kids with two different dads. For those of you slow at math that’s 3 kids three different dads. She is on food stamps, medicare or Medicaid forget which is which and gets everything free plus whatever guys shes with provides her a place or she could have been on section 8 housing who knows. She plays a ton of games not letting me see my daughter when I refuse to give her child support weeks early just everything under the sun to make my life hell. Not really my life hell but hurting my daughter which in turn hurts me. I hate selfish people!!! Well years go by I meet someone and have another baby. At 9 years of age she decides she wants more money and files for back child support. I tried to offer her everything under the sun but she loves the drama and off to court we go. My lawyer strings me along and tells me because we had a verbal agreement we can fight arrears. Then come the day of court he tells me I’m going to have to pay back child support. They say because I made more money than her I owed like 32k in back child support. Didn’t give me a dime of credit for pre k through 4th grade private school to the tune of $4000 per year. They said that was a luxury. Then during one of the hearings her lawyer said you expect me to believe “he actually paid for the things his daughter needed.” Took everything I had not to lose it. I wanted to say who else would have done it your client doesn’t work and never has. Long story short I agree to $24k in back child support and $550 per month plus $125 in arrears. My question is how can I owe someone for something that they never paid for. How can I owe her for taking care of my daughter when she never did and clearly would not have done with no income. My daughter has never wanted for anything. I’ve given her everything that she could possibly need or want. Eats me up that I have to pay for something I’ve already paid for. Oh and on top of that she fought to take my daughter out of private school so she would get more child support instead of some of the money going to our daughters education and won! WHERES THE JUSTICE

    • Pumpkin

      Her having two more kids and being on foodstamps and medicare has nothing to do with you,she shouldve took yo ass to court in the first place instead asking for support on her own,thats half of these men problem,yall feel like yall are taking care of the mother,and worried about what she doing and how many more kids she got,when it aint none of your damn business,paying her $300 a month for an infant and you feel like youre doing something,when in reality that aint shit to pay for a 4month old.

    • IamReallyBored

      I know it’s late but… there isn’t any justice. Not for men in the family court system. It’s gotten better but it’s still extremely flawed. : Better off getting anything and everything in writing and trying to get all this stuff in orders and shit like that. Otherwise you’ll keep getting the run around and no one will give a damn. At least with orders and writing you can metaphorically slap her when she acts up. You know… through the court system.

  • frustrated

    I am in Iowa and had requested the child support be be reviewed when my oldest child turned 18 but then withdrew the request before my ex turned in any financial info. My child is now 19 and living with me instead of his mother who continues to get child support for him and the review was requested again and the child support office is refusing to review it. It has never been changed, can they really refuse when the request is filed?

    • Pumpkin

      Thats back pay so it doesn’t matter if she’s living with you now!

  • Albert

    I can’t work doctors have give paper work stating my problem I’m in Alabama

  • MKTY

    My ex has apparently quit her job, and been unemployed for the past 2 years. She has never notified domestic relations or myself about this, yet has been collecting the same $115 a week in child support the whole time. Would it be worth my while to bring this to the attention of domestic relations? I’m in PA.

  • Gary Miltimore

    I split with the Mother of my three wonderful kiddos two and a half years ago, where we relocated (separately) back to the Portland,Or area where I believed we would take a break to fix things.
    According to Child Support Case documents I requested, it Seems 3 days after getting back she applied for State Benefits: Food,Healthcare,housing assistance( her daughters 2 Bdrm apartment was small, but was fine for them to stay, and I visited every moment I could).

    I assume she wasn’t happy with the backlog of people waiting for housing. A week after her initial app. Case File documents show my name next to “Claim of Risk” , again a month later on another Case History page, then once again a few weeks later on a Case Action Log. The Support that came was based off of a solid $60k-70k wage I earned before the life change, and now I had accepted a basic less than stellar position to begin getting my life back on track.

    The nearly $1000 a month support order hit me like a freight train, only recently had I began a relationship with my current Fiancee, and we agreed to work through the curve ball, until our new addition came into our lives. Right away a modification was requested, now nearly 11 months ago, and was November when I got my first call on this, I informed it was an amount I could still make work, not leaving a ton, but more than the crippling 50% of my check.

    Since December I have called, left the VM, called and called requesting the modification status, it then was amended once as I agreed to a $80 increase only to keep things moving forward. and finding the EX is then requesting hearing after hearing, which looks to me like dragging it out for a few more paydays for her. It seems that this “Claim of Risk fabrication”, along with different procedures(Hearings….etc.) are kneecapping me, and the ability to support my new family. I have struggled with paychecks I would have never imagined would have to support one person, let alone three.
    Sorry for the Novel, but I am overwhelmed, and outgunned.

  • Jill Davis

    I have a question. I live in oklahoma and I have 2 children and only get $52.42 a month for both kids combined. the kids ex gets $85 for their daughter. I dont understand how that works why for 2 kids do we get less. I have tried researching it but no luck.

  • KLT

    My fiancé has two children, 13 and 16. He has been divorced for about 10 years. His Ex has primary physical custody due to his job requiring shifts. He has always paid his child support on time and on many occasions earlier at his ex’s request. His ex left her job approximately 6 months ago and then filed for child support modification based on substantial change in circumstances. Her last job paid + – $30k year, at her new job she makes about $10k per YEAR (minimum wage part time). This was her choice, she resigned from her job of 10 years. For his kids, my fiancé agreed to modify the child support based on her $30k yr salary and his current salary, as admittedly he has had a raise since the last modification. She refuses to accept this and wants him to pay child support calculated on minimum wage x 40hrs per week which will add almost $200 per month ON TOP of the increase he already proposed. He loves his children and wants to provide for them, what he takes issue with is being made to in effect make up part of the difference because she doesn’t want to work fulltime anymore??? How is this fair??? The scary thing is that his Attorney said that a Judge might actually grant her this. I’ve scoured the internet in hopes of finding some advocacy or case to stop this madness. Her monthly expenses have not changed in 3 years, same house, same car etc., She made this job change, it was her choice to become underemployed. She worked in a doctors office, if she was unhappy, she could have gone to another doctors office or even an administrative job in a regular office and made as much or more money, she just decided she didn’t want to work full time anymore and that even though she has a new Husband and child by him, her EX Husband should pay for her to be able to do this. I understand there are parents out there that do not financially support their children, but my guy isn’t one of those, all he wants is to be treated fairly by the court system. If she is successful, two full weeks per month of his salary will go to child support. His monthly child support contribution will exceed the amount she contributes per month to HER entire household.

  • leah

    my Ex has a limited company and earns about £100k however he pays himself a salary and has had his accounts done showing £38K. He is basing maintenance contributions for our son on the £38k and his maintenance will only be a small proportion of the costs attached to our son and it is going to put a lot of financial pressure on me. Are there any loopholes

  • Tee

    I was laid off last year in August and I filled the modification on september 2014, but the judge denied it saying the termination letter was not acceptable and unemployment letter approval for unemployment was not acceptable to her. The child enforcement agency terminated my driver’s licence because after I was laid off there was no payment received and now nobody will hire me due to that and they sill want me to pay the same amount they do not care how ones get the money even if you are not working is this legaly fair

  • Anne Field

    I have a question on this. I have a court order to get payments. I DON’T WANT THEM!!!! Due to domestic stuff want to get rights taken away from him. We have moved out of state without his knowledge and does not know where we are. Can I give the child support payment card to him or is there a better way to refuse payments to me. I don’t want to do anything illegal.

  • Siriuslydi

    We live in NH, and my husband has two children from a previous marriage. He was let go from his job on January 21st, and the company was kind enough to pay him and extra month’s severance. We continued to pay child support weekly through the additional month of severance. Unfortunately he didn’t qualify for unemployment and just started working at a new job on April 1st. This happened two years ago and the court had him pay $50/month (the minimum allowed by the state). We began to pay $50 a month at the end of the additional month’s severance – I think around the first week of March. We duplicated the revised order the judge had approved two years ago, which changed his monthly obligation to $50/month with the CLEAR stipulation that he was to search for work and notify the court when he got a job to change support. Which we did back then. So we duplicated the paperwork and asked her to sign it so we wouldn’t have to pay to reopen the case and go to court (NH has a fabulous child support calculator on their site). She refused to sign it and is causing a big stink that he is delinquent. It seems she is deliberately trying to sabotage him by not agreeing to change the order for the month + he was unemployed – or at least agreeing to the amount the online calculator calculated. I mean, his income was $0 for a month and the court would back him if we had to go to court – but we really don’t want to pay the $250 fee to reopen the case for something stupid like this. She is also not willing to sign a revised one for any less support than we paid before – even though his hourly wage is $1 less than his old job and the calculator has reduced support by some.
    My question is – is there a way to get this done without having to pay to reopen the case? I feel like she’s putting it off so that she can go to Child Support Services after two months and say he is delinquent. Technically, I know we are because the order hasn’t changed, but she’s forcing it to be that way by refusing any changes at all. What irritates me so much is that she will not gain anything from this. If we went delinquent on other bills to pay her the full child support during the month+ – we’d just end up paying her nothing for a number of weeks after the court came to the same conclusion.

  • mary

    Can I get help when my daughter turns 18? She is under treatment for depression and her medical bills are significant. Her father CAN’T WAIT to stop paying.

  • Tiffany Phelps

    My husband wants to adopt my daughter, Will she loose her medicaid?

  • Sarah

    Can my husband get his child support lowered because he supports my daughter? She is not his biological daughter. They have him paying $500 a month, which barely leaves us enough for Bill’s & my prescriptions and I’m not working because I had a liver transplant

  • j jones

    I pay $445 a week,but I’m laidoff every winter from 2 months to 4 months here my.The judge will not lower my support for those months while I’m receiving employment benefits.He told me to save and plan for those months,and try to live as well and be 85% responsible for unpaid medical bills.

    • j jones

      That’s ny

  • chris

    if my 17 year old child goes to basic training for 9 weeks do i still pay support during this time?

  • Ang

    I’m wondering if anyone can relate or has experienced something similar.

    My concern is in regards to how earning potential is calculated (in PA) if the parent that typically receives support is diagnosed with health problems (Chronic Kidney Disease Stg3, tumor in head- pituitary, uncontrollable hypertension, and hypothyroidism), likely making the patient/parent disabled to the point that he/she cannot work a typical job (though would not likely be approved to receive federal disability benefits). Will he/she still be held accountable for the earning potential previously establish?

    If documentation is needed from the doctor(s) treating the patient, what kind of documentation would be necessary and with what kind of detail, such as physical/mental limitations? Does a doctor have to state that the individual cannot work and use the term “disabled”, or just the expected symptoms the patient would experiences? e.g. nausea/vomiting, daily headaches/migraines, extreme fatigue, mental confusion, joint pain, dizziness and fainting, etc.

    *Side note: Does anyone know if there’s some kind of work that does not require you to be somewhere at a certain time, is fine if you call off *at least* once a week, doesn’t mind if you lie down for an hour or so at any time, and has no problem with an employee experiencing a constant state of “mental fog,” has a poor short-term memory, cannot stand for extended periods of times, and sometimes even has problems speaking? I’ve been searching for jobs online but I’m not qualified for most legitimate positions that are performed remotely. Just to clarify, I want to work. However, I do not want to get a job just to be fired immediately because I was coming in late or missing work because I’m trying to cope with all the symptoms of the awesome things my body is putting me through. And let’s not forget the side effects that come along with the 8 prescriptions I’m currently on. But seriously, back to the legal question. How is earning potential calculated in a situation like this?

  • Reece

    I recently went to child support court. My son’s father was carrying him on his insurance, but dropped him a month before we went to court. He lied to the judge stating, he was carrying him. I added him to my plan of insurance. How do I get my case re-evaluated? (I’m in Texas)

  • Jennifer Butler

    I have a question. My ex husband and I divorced 3.5 years ago. He was ordered to pay $880.00 a month child support (in NH, two kids and he makes 125k per year – we agreed on such a low amount because I could not afford to keep battling in court and he kept saying he could only afford $300 per month support). The day our daughter turned 18 (over a year ago) he cut the support in half to $440 per month. Is this ok or is he supposed to be paying a different amount based on his salary and only one child?

  • Dr Lopez

    I am a disabled Veteran receiving SS of $1390.00. My ex-wife lives in a half a million dollar home. She remarried twenty-four years ago. I have had seven surgeries in the last five years with two auto-immune diseases. I was diagnosed with crones in 1980. I have had sever crones disease and also have a cocci Fungus . I had my right kidney removed in 10-14-2014. My ex-wife is $receiving $300.00 a month for arrears. The arrears has predatory interest rates built in from the past. Because I have been severely ill for years I have never been able to hold a down a full time job. All these medical claims are heavily documented by the VA. I want this case dropped and my money back from her that she has been receiving for the last three years. She did everything possible to keep me from my children and knew I could not work because of my chronic diseases. I have not seen my own mother who lives in Mexico for ten years because I can not get a passport. I am the one who has been tortured and has suffered. from all this. She lives in Lake view Texas. My youngest and oldest daughters are married with their own kids. My son is 30 years old. I never received one medical bill from her and or receipt despite her claims my son has severe problems. Please help if you can. I am sixty years old. my wife is a CNA and makes only $15.00 a hour.

  • Brooklynn Nikki Gibbs

    Recently, my boyfriend’s baby mama has put child support on him. She lied and said that he’s only given her 350 dollars in the last few years. It put his child support up to nearly 500 dollars even though he only brings home around 800 after taxes. He scheduled a hearing. While he wasnt smart at first and gave her cash, we have proof that he’s given her nearly 1000 in the past year and a half.
    They refused to look at his pay stubs and instead inserted an amount they felt he should make, and let her get away with pergery. They only knocked 20$ off of his payments and about 2k off of the back child support. Now we cant make ends meet, and the child support people refuse to listen to him. I’m not sure what to do. I’m pretty certain that what they did was illegal.

  • Jenny Ellis

    My ex husband and I are now divorced for over 4 years, he is a ER Physician and I was a a stay-at-home mother caring for two children, one of which is his biological child. Since our divorce, he has only visited his daughter once, and this was shortly after our divorce and that was it. It’s like he died. I had to fight to make him pay child support which last year I won, and he is now paying. However, I goggled his name and his NEW Wife’s name (my paralegal filled me in about his new marriage via tax return) and I found that they had just invited their first new born into the family…unbeknownst to me or my daughter. He is an ER DOC and his new wife is an Anesthesiologist, meanwhile I am a full-time student, single mother of two girls(btw, he was there for both pregnancies as well as births and apart of both children’s lives up until the ages of 4&5, even though only one is his biological). I also am a nail technician trying to make it happen for me and my girls. I pay for all activites, health insurance…EVERYTHING…while him and his wife do lavish vacations and expensive gifts, yada ..
    Something is wrong here. How can he bring Nother child into the world when he does not acknowledge the existence of his true first born? I believe that he should pay more child support since his salary as well as his new wife’s can afford? Why should I be completely shafted when he never even paid me alimony? See the scale? My daughters have no father. He goes and creates more with his doctor title..:where is he justice in here? And how can I fix this?? His income increases every three years and he also has the backing of his anesthesiologist wife??

  • taneshia

    my childs father pays child support every week but the state of tennessee never send the money to me. Does anyone else have this problem.. where is the money going and why are they keeping the money

    • Ashley Flowers

      If you get any kind of assistance the state keeps the child support as back pay for all the assistance you are receiving

  • Connie Aguirre

    If my step son lives in Hawaii and we are in Gorgia do we have to go to Hawaii to get child support lowerd and more visitation

  • Dennis Louviere

    Would I be eligible if daughter was diagnosed with autism and SSI was then given to child but mother put it in grandfather’s name since he doesn’t collect any government checks they didn’t catch 4 years then mothers recent incarceration, grandmother wanted to be payee and claimed she had raised my child all along I denied grandmother as I’m a fit parent and I want to raise her so when grandmother took me after mother dropped support that’s when she slipped and told me child was getting SSI once again grandma did not report this income on her application I reported it and I was found to no longer be obliged while she collected SSI however now I’m fightin custody battle as grandparents are fraudin through their teeth but my support case being closed I only have till this March when my year is up and mother is still in state prison ?

  • Kate Morgan

    I got married three years ago, and then it was sweet’ in the beginning after a year and few months, I gave birth to a male child, at that moment I started facing spiritual falsies in my life, along the process automatically my husband changed his attitude coming home lately and all sort of meaningless things. After a while he said he can’t live under the same roof with me and he left the home. my life was in hell starting from the day my man left home, he stopped picking my calls he blocked me on his Facebook account. And i had no other option than to seek for spiritual assistance because sometimes i use to watched some magical things on movies. Finally i found a restoration centre were I seek for help! After getting to one week, I seek help! from restoration home my husband found way back home peacefully. I’m so much grateful everything has finally settled. i sheared my testimony to everyone whom needed assistance to restore marriage. here is Dr obodu email..

  • Jeannie O’Conor

    My ex husband deducted over $200 from my child support check this month without my permission because he feels I owe him money because he paid to have some of my daughter’s belongings shipped home from her boarding school. Is this legal?

  • Karen Kesby

    Good day to you all of you my name is Christopher Miles, I’m from USA, Texas, am very happy as am writing the testimony how i got my loan from this loan, i believe God has a plan for me, after i was been scammed of my money by many so called loan lenders, i was deceived and almost thought to take my life, but God has a purpose for me, if you want to get a loan from any company you have to chose Mike Johnson Firm, when i was first started with him, thought he was like the rest, and to my Greatest surprise i got the loan of $69,000.00 in my account and that was the Exact amount i applied for in his company, and you that is feeling that there no hope for you? is a lie because if you interested in getting any type of loan, you can contact him via email, his email is:, God Bless you like he blessed me with Mr Mike Johnson by getting my loan after been falling in the hands of scams.

    Christopher Miles.

  • mike burns

    When I had a divorce, the lawyers set up support to come out of my check. My son was in daycare. We have 50/50 time and she is the custodial parent. Almost 2 years has passed and my son isn’t in daycare anymore, I have a new child, and a 2nd job. I want my payments adjusted mainly since he is no longer in daycare. She’s not been paying daycare in over a year. My support was based on that. I can not get her to help me redo the support. I have little money for a lawyer and am getting aggravated. I’m in Indiana if that helps you help me 🙂 thanks

  • danielle

    My ex makes mpre money then he told the courts at first. N the courts have it down we have them 50/50 on which he never has them at all. I have my children 365 days a yr for the past 3 yrs i would say he has seen them a week. How can i get child support to change n can i get back support on what he should have been paying me for lost time?

  • John

    Thank God there are people who know what is really going on.

    Always thought that child support was for deadbeat dad’s that want nothing to do with the child.

    Have seen that almost every person I have know that got a divorce had to get attorneys and always one got the kids and one paid child support even though both were good parents.

    It would seem that the best interest of the child would be that they get to see their mother and father as equal as possible.

    After seeing how the federal government matches the funds that the States collects it is pretty easy to see why one parent gets the kids and the other parent pays child support. My father told me to always follow the money.

    I hope the work you and others are doing will eventually have an impact on this terrible scheme that is tearing kids away from one of their parents for the profit of the State.

    When I divorced my first wife she was vindictive and hired an attorney and said she would take me for everything I had. She did get most everything including child support, health insurance, tax write-off and my son.

    Every time my son comes over he says that he wishes he could see me more or he wishes he could live with me. When is is 14 I am going to petition the court for him to move in with me.

    My second wife and I divorced and we worked together so our son would have equal time with each other and no child support through the State. I can say that our son seems more secure than mine son with the first wife.

    I do not make a lot of money and pay 20% pre tax of my salary for child support which is really like 25% plus pay health insurance. If my second wife went and got a attorney then I might be paying another 25% of my salary. That would leave me with 50% of my salary which would be $25,000 a year. And if either wife lost their jobs the state would step in and help them with food stamps or housing but if I lost my job and could not pay health care or child support the State would first drain my retirement and then put me in prison. It just seems wrong to me, I would never take the kids away from their mothers and then ontop of that force them to pay me money. The whole system just seems so unfair and sad to me. I cannot see any reason a young man would ever want to have kids because the whole system is stacked against him.

  • Matthew Tischer

    I live in Maryland, my twins in New Jersey. I became medically disabled 2.5 years ago and have furnished proof to NJ constantly over the past 2 years. They keep refusing a modification because I am “not employed”! Maryland has since refused to enforce NJ’s order because of my proof of disability, proof of no benefits, and the behavior of the”judges” and “hearing officers”. My arrears are roughly $18k…arrears that should have NEVER accrued, according to 48 states, and Social Security (they oversee child support at the Fed. level). Until I became disabled I always paid my child support, except 1x in between jobs. There is no way for me to contact them other than filing for modifications… I have tried EVERYTHING. The way NJ’s “judges and hearing officers” treat non-custodial parents is IMMORAL, UNETHICAL, and (most importantly) UNCONSTITUTIONAL!
    At my last hearing, the hearing officer denied me a modification AND visitation because “zero is not a workable number”, and (to qualify for “changed circumstances” based on time off) 15+ months is less 12…. I was denied based on case law Lepis v Lepis…a law specifically appropriate for protecting my rights!
    NJ is trying (and succeeding) to criminal indebt me.


  • teresa

    ok here i go. my husband pays 300 for child support 150 the basic payment and another 150 for child care expenses. supposedly her sister in law and his ex are live together under the same roof. with her parents and now her new boyfriend and shes pregnant again. and the sister in law takes care of the baby in the same house with her own daughter. we think that she doesn’t even pay childcare expenses since they are family. all the sister in law gave the court , is a hand written note that she takes care of her &&& we just found out that the place she works had closed down for about 2 weeks. what can he do? because she obviouslty is not paying rent. lives in her parents. and her boyfriend lives there too and they are having a baby together now. can his payments go down? i care for this daughter to be in a good place and be safe. but i just wished she didnt lie so she can get her own benefit. anyway is there anything we can do to lower these payments? since she isnt working and obviously no babysitter is needed since she has been home these past 2- 3 weeks. and hasnt reported it.

  • Joanna Johnson

    My child was placed in my full custody months ago but as of yesterday i got a notice saying they will be taking child support out of my checks. Can they do this even though he is in my custody?