Custodial Interference 821

Obstructing a Parent’s Rightful Child Custody

Custodial interference (also called custody interference) refers to the taking or keeping of a child from the custodial parent with the intent to interfere with that parent’s rightful physical custody.

In other words, when a non-custodial parent does not return his or her child to the custodial parent from a scheduled visitation, or when the custodial parent refuses to allow visitation with the non-custodial parent in violation of the court’s order. It can also occur when the parents have joint physical custody – in this case, even though the parent taking the child has physical custody rights to the child, he or she is still interfering with the other parent’s scheduled custodial rights.

Charging a Parent with Custodial Interference

Custodial interference is a crime in most states and can be punishable by jail time. Depending on your state’s laws, different circumstances can bring varying charges and different penalties. For example, some states treat custodial interference as a misdemeanor unless the child was removed out of state. In that case, the charge becomes a felony. Other states have additional penal provisions for taking the child out of the country. In certain situations, custodial interference can escalate to a state or federal charge of parental kidnapping.

Defending Against Charges

Many states also allow certain defenses to custodial interference. Imminent harm, for example, is a commonly accepted defense. In this instance, the parent removing the child claims to have interfered with normal custody rules because he or she fears for the child’s safety. Other defenses can include mutual consent and the belief that, if he or she did not take the child, the other parent would remove the child from the court’s jurisdiction (i.e. out of state or out of the country). Failure to receive court-ordered child support is not usually a valid defense against a custodial interference charge.

Some states also recognize the child’s wishes, typically when the child is at least 14 years of age and may waive the charge of custodial interference if the child states that he or she did not return to the other parent on their own accord.

Still other states will not apply the interference charge if the child is sixteen years of age or older and there are yet other states that will not file charges if the child is returned before the arrest warrant is issued.


  • Danielle Ritchey

    I was wondering how long a non custodial parent keep a child due to the living conditions at the custodial parents house with out it being charged as a kidnapping?

    • Monica

      Any time the non-custodial parent keeps the child beyond the visitation period provided in the court order, the non-custodial parent is in violation of the court order. The custodial parent can take a copy of the court order to the police and they will enforce the order.

      The non-custodial parent is not entitled to keep the child beyond their court ordered visitation period without obtaining an order from the court modifying his or her visitation.

      • Denise Branch

        What if there is no custody agreement. can the father still keep the child if he is not the custodial parent?

        • Monica

          If there is no custody agreement then there is no official “custodial” parent. If you are the parent with all or the majority of custodial time, then it is best to obtain a court order to “make it official.” Only a court order can legally provide that you have sole physical custody or the majority of custodial time.

      • Angela

        No the police will do nothing about it unless the court order says that police can get involved or enforce it. It has to be plainly written out. Most police will tell you “Take it back to court”

        • Sandy

          Thank you!
          It’s called Enabling Clause!
          gives the appropriate officials the power,to implement and enforce the law.

        • trk387

          That is not true, here in NYC the NYPD private storm troopers for the woman (sorry) do not mean to sound misogynistic, ( I am not really ) they will enforce this violation. I had a court order of protection and the police came down and attempted to remove the children. The ONLY thing that stopped them was it was a Friday night and they couldn’t determine weekend status (visitation) so I won that one. My ex her family shuffled back to Suffolk County empty handed. But here in NY they will do everything and anything for the woman up against a man. trk387 PS: To all the feminist out there, you can’t demand EQUALITY if your not willing to ACCEPT everything it stand for. EQUALITY is not pot luck, accept all it or receive none of it. The next time your dealing with a man TELL THE WORLD YOU GOT IT! Demand your ex husband have EQUAL rights to BOTH your children. Don’t cry to get your way, PROVE you really want it and it will come. The ONLY reason you don’t have it is because of what I said herein. FATHERS ARE NOT JUST DOLLAR SIGNS AND SPERM!

      • Brett

        What if the custodial parent never comes to get the child/children when they say they will or were on their way. Parenting plan states that childrens daycare is means of exchange unless daycare is not open. The times when she has not picked them up (numerous times, all documented ) the daycare has not been open. I have always been very open with communication when she has not picked them up, many times she never answers her phone/s or responds back.

        • Barry A. Pugh

          based on what you have stated, and my experience. If you have visitation of a child and/or children and the actual custodial parent does not come to receive the children you should call the police and get that documented (to avoid beng charged with kidnapping). On the very next business day go to court and file a charge of abandonment with family court. In the paperwork attach a copy of the plce report and request immediate temporary custody. Abandonment, in most states, is not only grounds for custodial reversal but also grounds for criminal prosecution. The main thing is the protection and best interest of the children.

      • MARK HANDY


        • A Tibbs

          I agree to that

      • A. MetgeMcDannald

        Police actually will not get involved, rather will tell you it is a civil matter, go file a contempt charge. Although there is a criminal statue, they don’t like to get involved and any time their father has violated the court order that happens often, and does not stick to the parenting time schedule, the police say they can do nothing. They are usually very reluctant to get involved.

        • FrknDisgustedBrlngtn

          Angela and Metgel, You are ABSOLUTELY SO CORRECTO. THE COPS DO NOTHING. WHAT THE HECK do you go to court for and pay THOUSANDS of dollars to attorney after attorney after useless attorney who basically do nothing but mubmle jumble talk behind their hands, lol, and ask for a 2000 retainer. YEP. I have spend 20,000 in 10 years to 7 differnt attorneys who all buckle in the end. I cant do it anymore. …and the cops, the sheriff, the court, the da all say we cant do anything? wtf? WHERE DID MY MONEY GO??? do you mean to tell me a redneck can buffer all these people? shakes head in disgust.My Long LaborDay weekend stolen…he walked into the school and took them 5 states away.

      • sherri

        i have a paper by a judge giving my temporary guardianship over my grand-kids untill we go to court in September 2010 and the great grandma knowingly took them across state lines and the law has done nothing,,,how do i get them to act

        • Angel`s dad

          ABOUT FrknDisgustedBrlngtn`s opinion. This person is damn right. I already spent more than $30K for attorneys(5 already) in last 4 years for nothing. I have visitation but the bitch keeps denying me half of them. I called the police many times. I sent multiple reports to DA, in court judge told me I didn`t file the right motion for contempt`s form. WTF!!!! This is it: mother can do everything,she is ABOVE the law. Dear fathers: Please, do NOT waste your money for attorneys! Keep it for your child/children for college. When they grow up they will find out who loved them and who fought for them. Do not keep any hopes to win custody because of visitation violation or something else. I lost any hopes. I see my child only when she allows me. Law,police,court orders,judges, DA-they all are full of shit.

        • sweetcajun

          If u have a court order signed by the judge you need to request the police department enforce the “parental kidnap prevention act “,a.k.a. pkpa. Then they will have to do something and they can’t be bias. Look it up and research it.

        • CAL

          Sweetcajun, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but what eutopian socity do you live in? Angel’s Dad is 100% right!

          There is no piece of paper that wil enforce visitation, but miss a child support payment and you rolled an “advance to jail card.” It all looks great on paper, but that is all it is.
          I have been fighting for visitation for almost 3 years and honestly having “joint custody” is nothing more than a feel-good comment. When my ex left the state of Florida 2 yars ago the juge aknowledged she broke the law. Did he do anything about it? Of course, he said you are a bad girl but stay where you are and dad you can see the kids according to the scheule your ex has made (once a month for 3 eight-hour days) at your 100% expense that is after I take awy half of ALL of your money and give it to her for child support. Sorry I just made your life SUCK but know you did an excellent job as you are the runner up and loose everything to her.
          Now a year after given that order I have seen the inside of a court 3 times as much as I have my children as she has dragged me into court in Chicago now to ask a judge to not give me ANY visitation or communication ever again only on the grounds of abiguous commentary and accusations. all of this after seeing my children only 3 times in the past 2 years as she has refused to obey a court order.
          Angel, your right the attornies are out for themselves, the courts are out for the mother and the father is fighting for the best interest of the children and left holding an empty bag. We are better off pulling our resources, going to congress and changing the laws to send any violator of a court order to be punished for their crime as a misdeminor at the least.
          Trust me Sweet the police don’t want to touch a child custody case with a 10 foot pole. I have been told that many times from those I have tried to get to enforce a court order as well as friends in law enforcement. The laws do NOT allow them to get involved unless a physical altercation happens.
          Note: I have spent to date to defend myself over the past almost 3 years about $15,000 and I am broke because of it as my ex has spent about $30,000 to demonize me and keep me from the kids. Even with what I have spent with attorney fees I have had only one of the attories ever show to court as I have had to deal with all of the court cases on my own. The worst thing about it is THIS CASE to be held in Florida under UCCJEA laws, but again this does not matter to a single court. So much for the paper the laws and court orders are written on. So the question is Who is playing Whom?

        • Jaydes Daddy

          To all dads,
          4 years ago I was divorced and immediately served with an order of protection spent my daughters birthday in jail because I called her mom to ask to meet an hour later than previous scheduled and before I new it probation and classes when the only violence I’ve ever exerted was at 12 yrs involving a BB gun and a bird that still bothers me, my ex had every court tactic you can think of and my court min are the longest in the state of Arizona anyone has ever seen and after pumiling me to a severe depression she then tried to terminate my parental rights all together. This is when I was awaken and became proactive after winning my rights back she fled to South Carolina the mother state where the judge refused to recognize UCCJEA law and told me he wore big boy pants didn’t need to call another judge after I flew 2000 miles with custody paperwork next I reported her missing worked with local detectives and da to get my daughter and the national list of missing children and a warrant for moms arrest and though she remains a fugitive after 3. And a half years I now have my beautiful little girl and I’m the most proud father in the world and on her 1 st day in her new school of 1 st grade it wasn’t her the cried as she told me its ok daddy and ill tell you yes there is 100 thousand mostly funned by family and that sucks because even now I want my daughter to have contact with her mom because that’s her mommy ofcourse not right now and yes I have anger but I know that’s nothing to due with my daughters right to know her mother but I can definetely say this as a fatherless child myself there is no dollar amount you can ever put on missing your kid grow up so to the dad who is giving up you will live to regret it and if your conscience lets you do that then you probably wouldn’t have been a good dad anyway but for a dad who and my story is way more crazy then I had the breathe to put down here but I’ve never met anyone that’s been closer to death several times and though unfounded her mother had hired a hit on me and thankful he was arrested before he got to me and I kept on believing and willing to fight and kick and tell everyone I could and I made it and I tell you as my tears start to roll as I say this it was worth any pain or heartbreak or blah blah but right now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I will never stop being my daughters daddy and to you other dads don’t give up on your baby because love and I say LOVE will win in the end

      • Jessica

        I have went to the police many times about this and they don’t enforce anything in Johnson County Kansas and the DA’s office in that county said its not interference with parental custody if he is not hiding the children form me and I know where they are.

        • Jim

          Johnson County Kansas Sherriffs office wont enforce Sh*t. Had a paper from a judge that stated ANY Sherriff or law enforcement agency is to enforce the parenting plan from Johnson County kansas court and they still wont do ANYTHING. The Judge used the word ANY for a reason so ANY POLICE AGENY in the USA would be bound to enforce her ORDERS what an FN JOKE they are stay FAR away from this county trust me…

      • Grandma

        So what do you do when the Police REFUSE to enforce the order? They say it is a “Civil matte” and they will do NOTHING!!

        • You get online, print out the statute for “interference with custody” which is a CRIMINAL OFFENSE. The ORDER is Law and when the Order is not followed, it is CONTEMPT – but if the other parent is NOT bringing the child when the Order is clear they should – IT IS INTERFERENCE WITH CUSTODY. If you don’t say “interference with custody” they will say it’s a civil matter. If they don’t help you, call the FBI and report a kidnapping, because when an Order says the child is to be there and they are not – it is considered kidnapping!! And tell the local police that is what you will do as well and that you will call the media and get an “amber alert” that your local police REFUSED TO DO!!! That’s if you don’t know where the child is. If you do, the police will call the parent – the FBI will go there.

    • catherine wyers

      law inforcement said I had to wait to days, then get a court order from a judge, and I the psyical custodian. We do have joint custody. My 9 yr,. old is in inimint danger

    • Joy Smith

      how can a mother who has not seen her daughter or talk to her in 7 months now what her ex to follow the divorce order. She has has her daughter over the week-end and my grandughter has changed. What can my son do? The courts always go on the side of the women. They never hear his attory words. She has not payed any of the doctor bills even if the divorce said she is reponsible for 33%. MY grandaughter has changed to be after 2 days with her mother. I do not talk about her mother. Grandaughter is 16. Does the judge ever talk with the daughter. I am afraid her will go into the wrong direct at 18. HELP
      Attoryney seems to never get thru to the judge and money is gone.

  • Paula Pathe

    If a custodial parent denies the non-custodial parent his rightful, court-ordered visitation, what recourse does the non-c parent have? Will law enforcement (police) go with the non-c parent to claim the child for visitation and enforce the order there and at that time? Or will the custodial parent have to be charged and brought to court? This is very urgent for us considering Christmas is around the corner.

    • The police department can enforce a court custody order. However, in reality, some departments may be hesitant to do so if the order is not specific clear enough.

      The non-custodial parent can also “bring an emergency motion” (submit a formal request) in the family law court to have the order enforced. Usually motions filed on an emergency basis are heard by the court the day after they are filed. You may wish to consult with a local family law attorney or at least check the rules in your county for the specific filing procedure.

      • em

        if custodial parent does not go through with the visitation plan (he is out of state)
        is it grounds to lose in maryland. need to be here 10 days after school out. he is ordered to purchase tickets 60 days prior to then. what if is kate or what if he cant afford it?? is it possible for me to get kids back??

        • Monica

          If a non-custodial parent does not exercise his or her visitation, it may be grounds for reducing that parent’s custodial time.

        • DaisyPedals

          This question wasn’t answered – The question was a “CUSTODIAL” parent – why does everyone jump on non-custodial parents. CUSTODIAL parents are the biggest criminals!

        • misty

          i agree!! everyone jumps on the custodial parent side.. THERE ABOVE THE LAW!!! me and my husband have been fighting tooth and nail for my step kids.. there mother my husbands ex is the custodial parent but yet she gave them to us weve had one child since nov. 2007 two children since april 2010 we all live in franklin ohio the kids grandmother (who has no rights to them AT ALL) lives in cali. so why in the freakin world can my husbands ex and her mother fly them to cali (thier mother didnt go just sent them by themself) to someone who has no court documents no insurance or anything on our kids but my husbands ex has an investigation on her for interfernace of custody! the non custodial get screwed everythime no one will help us no one cares about the childrens best “intrest” if they did that bitch woulda been locked up by now and we would have our kids back!! ROOT FOR THE UNDERDOG AND PRAY SHE RECIEVES JUSTICE AND OUR KIDS RETURN HOME SAFLEY!!!!!

    • Barry Pugh

      even with joint custody law enforcement has stated to me that they do not enforce visitation issues. hey referred me back to family court. If the matter is urgent and you believe the child is in danger you can file with an order to show cause. That will expedite the court date.

    • Wanda

      No they will do nothing but make you spend more money as to what we are about to do again spend more money!

    • cc

      in u live in tn. they wont do anything. ive been on both sides non custodial parant and costodial x has our son she doesnt bring him on my weekend visition and they wont do nothing. my daughters mom is the non custodial parant and all the sudden shes in charge bull sh*t. shes supposed to have superived visition. but she gets away with it because she a paralegal really

  • Sheila

    I am filing for a divorce and my sons father want joint physical as well as legal custody of him. We live in two separate cities less than a 100 miles apart from each other. I have agreed for my son to visit his father 3 out of 4 weekends out of the month, as long as he can afford to return him at the end of the visit. I drop my son off, and he is responsible for the return. Point is those 3 out of 4 weekends, a few holidays and a week in the summer does not constitute equal time which equals joint physical custody. Plus I’m the primary provider for all of his expenses. I’m afraid that if I bend to his demands the custody agreement will be null and void for the above mentioned reasons. I also worry that he can take my son whenever he chooses to if I agree to his terms, however he feels that I will do the same if I don’t.

    • Monica

      It’s important to know that joint physical custody means that both parents have custodial time, but does not necessarily mean that the custody arrangement is 50/50 (see: types of custody).

      • Retired Judge

        Monica is correct when she states that joint custody does not necessarily mean that the custody arrangement is 50/50, however, when their are two fit parents who unconditionally love their child(ren) then it is the parent’s moral responsibility to allow said children unfettered access to the other parent and to continually foster a relationship with the other parent.
        Time and time again I see that children will, eventually, reject the parent that interfered with their relationship with the other parent. DO NOT do this, even if suggested by your family law attorneys as being in your best interests as it frequently NOT in the true best interests of children.

  • Cculpep

    I’m currently involved in a custody battle for my 10 yo daughter. Her father refused to return her to me. He drafted the paperwork & had an attorney put his name on the paperwork. He’s a criminal attorney in Michigan & has a hx of drafting paper work then expecting me to sign it without representation. He did this in the past with his current wife. Unfortunately, my attorney did not file a response to his motion of parental interference. I have not seen my daughter since May. Get this, he has a hx of domestic violence towards me & his current wife. Domestic reports are available through Jackson City sheriffs Dept & there are 5 child support cases including mine where he payed substantially less than his actual income & remained in arrearage multiple times. I made sure that River would be my last & only child from him.

    • yuenkwai

      I dont know where you live, but I am a father who has custody of 2 girls. I have been in court in Arkansas 2-4 times a year over my case since 2008,so I have picked up a little knowledge. I would do a search under state statutes or code, during my search at your expense you can request that the criminal background check be done on any adult living in his home and this can be included in the case for custody because you are concerned with the safety of your child.

  • Damion Hunter

    I have joint legal custody and the mother nas sole physical custody of your 8 year old daughter. The mother left the state and moved to Texas, taking our daughter and ignoring my visitation schedule. I filed an ex parte stating that she cant leave the state of CA, granted my the judge, and she violated that order. Is this considered to be Custodial Interference?

    • Monica

      If a parent moves out of state with a minor child, it can interfere with the other parent’s visitation. However, the real issue here is that the move is in violation of a court order. If you have a court order which provides that mother cannot leave the state of California with the minor child, then you should file a motion to enforce that order and request that you have primary physical custody of your daughter.

  • Kay from GA

    My ex-husband has joint legal custody but hasn’t exercised his visitation and moved out of state without telling us. He is also in violation of his child support order. He bodly now calls since he moved out of state telling me that he won’t pay but I am in violation if I don’t let him speak with his son twice a day.
    In the order, he is supposed to have reasonable access by phone but every morning before I go to work and every evening before we go to bed is excessive. The child is 3 yrs old, and he is trying to control my whereabouts by enforcing that I be home every single day for his call.

    I will be going to court soon regarding his contempt of no support, can I also ask the judge to remove his joint legal custody right since he hasn’t been active in his life beyond calling him and he just moved out of state without giving us his contact information?

    We have joint legal and I have (full physical custody, join legal with breaking authority). Can I get his passport without his Dad’s signature to go on vacation out of the country? The divorce settlement states I have breaking authority under the joint custody right- I don’t know how much power I have.

    • Monica

      If you want sole legal custody you will have to make that request to the court. If you are granted sole legal custody you will have the ability to make decisions about your child’s health, education and welfare without having to consult with father. Father’s move out of state may be a factor in the court’s determination to award you sole legal custody, but that fact alone is not determinative.

      • Kimberly

        What can we do if the non custodial parent keeps sneeking around and seeing the child. She also helps the child lie to say she is one place but then goes some where else. To meet her mother.

    • Sharon

      Regarding phone access…

      Reasonable is more like Monday and Wednesdays 7-8 pm. (Been there, done that.) Don’t let him interfere with your morning and bedtime routines. That’s invasive.

      It amount to stalking (or in the least controlling) if you believe you are “required to be there 24/7” and wait for his calls. Or stop what you are doing to take the call. Sounds like forced contact to me. She’s three. I think he really wants to talk to YOU twice a day.

      Don’t buy his threats. You set a “reasonable” schedule for him.

  • Rae

    In this case, the father has sole physical custody, and the mother keeps refusing to bring their son home although it clearly states in the custody decree that she is responsible for transportation both ways. After she refuses, the father has no choice than to go and pick him up, which was all she wanted in the first place. The father is finally fed up and let the mother know that he is going to enforce the decree from here on out. There is no question that she will not heed the warning and attempt to manipulate and control the situation this weekend by refusing to bring him home again. My question is: If the mother lives across the river in another state and he has to get the police involved, is it possible she will be charged with a felony even though from our house to hers it is only 30 miles? And how long should we wait to call the police after he is not returned? Immediately? He’s not scheduled to be back before 8pm on Sunday. What if she just threatens all day that she will not bring him home, trying to intimidate the father and emotionally traumatizing the son? Is that cause for anything in the future, possibly to get her to have supervised visitation?

    • Monica

      Mother will most likely not be criminally charged. Your best option is to file a motion in family court and notify the Judge that mother is consistently refusing to comply with the transportation provisions of the court order. It could be grounds for reducing mother’s visitation.

    • kristi

      where did you get these orders or rights for phone calls? My ex and I divorced 6 years ago, They have always had a cell that I provided in order for him to call them or them to call him anytime they want. MY oldest is turning 13 and decided he wanted to live with his dad. Hes been gone a week. They took the cell phone from him as they were leaving my driveway it has been off since. They WILL not let him have the phone I pay for and REFUSE to answer my calls to speak to him. Even threatning to change their phone numbers. How do I get to at least check in on my baby? Im not asking for excessive…. just a txt saying “have a great day I love you” in the AM and a “How was your day?” call in the evening. Ive had to go from constant 24 7 contact and carre to NO contact except my court ordered visits once a month (we live more than 100 mi apart) How can they keep me from speaking to him when it costs them NOTHING and I have NO DESIRE to leave messages on their phones any more than they want to recieve them………….. Please HELP

      • Christy

        What is the answer to this question? My son is 12 and I provide him with a cell phone as well and pay the bill. My ex husband refuses to let my son and daughter who is 5 to call me during the night. Says that I am not allowed to call them either.

        My ex and I have joint custody with me being primary residential custodian.

  • brandon

    My son is 8 months old..the mother had our son while in jail..she also was doing narcotic pain pills throughout the whole time being pregnant..just now getting out of jail only being able to see her son through glass at visitation expects me to just let her have the baby back in the drug one has custody of our son..I’m afraid if I give her our son she will not bring him back after all his belongings our with me and the people that’s been with him throughout his whole life..he don’t even know his mom??? She has brought the cops to my house and they won’t do anything for I don’t have to hand our son over to her if the courts are not in it correct?

  • Damon

    Does something of this nature apply if your divorce decree states you have “liberal parent time with a minimum of (insert state code) state ordered visitations”? My ex has sole physical custody and I have visitation/parent-time with joint legal custody (I know, pretty much the “system” standard), and the transportation arrangement is that we provide reasonable shared transportation for visitations. My ex has moved to where she lives 120 miles from my residence, and I picked up our daughter for visitation and asked that she meet me half way for the drop off. She refused, so I kept our daughter for a week per it was Christmas holiday and I was scheduled to have her the first half of the holiday period per divorce decree also. She told me later she had contacted the Police and filed a complaint… but I have not heard or seen anything from the Police since. Just curious if “liberal” parent time overrides the interference clause.

    • Monica

      A parent interferes with the other parent’s custodial time when that parent impedes on or prevents the other parent from exercising their court ordered visitation. If your ex spouse has moved and the move has caused a change in the visitation or transportation arrangement, the new agreement should be reflected in writing or you should seek a new order from the court.

  • Debbie

    My son needs to know if he has to let his daughter(she is 8 month old) go with her mother if the mother comes to pick her up for her timeshare when the mother is accompanied by a registered sex offender?? We live in florida and dont know the laws about this.

    • monica

      Your son should seek an order from the court immediately which prohibits any registered sex offender, namely the person in question, from being present during any visitations.

  • aylissa

    My ex has “temporary custodial” rights to our 22 mo old daughter until his protective order is out of affect come this february. Now no papers have been filed in the terms of a parenting plan. If no papers get signed by the time his protective order twards me is up can i take my child back without facing criminal charges? Or will he still hav custody? Please help someone.

    • Monica

      Once the protective order expires you should file a motion in court seeking visitation. Without a court order it will be very difficult for you to exercise visitation over Father’s objection.

  • jon

    my question to you is my brother is a sex offender. he seved his time and paid his debt. he has 50/50 joint coustody withhis ex spouse one child lives with him and the other with mom. now mom want to stop visitation of
    child that lives with mom can that happened what can i do to help my brother out?

    • Monica

      Your brother’s sex offender status will be a factor the court considers when it determines custody and visitation. The court will also consider the nature of the offense and any rehabilitation efforts your brother has made. It is possible that the court may ordered supervised visitation. Supervised visitation is where a court appointed supervisor or family member must be present during the visits and reports back to the court.

  • Elizabeth sage

    I live in NJ and would like to do humanitarin work with son who is almost 16. Asked X who moved away to another state for letter to get passport and told him about trip openly. He is refusing saying I am making him do it and wont sign. I looked at divorce papers and no mention of what to do if child needs pass port to go abroad. we are definitely coming back. I think I saw that when he is 16 he only needs 1 parent present- but I do not want to do it that way, but will if need be. my son is upset with his absent father . What can I do ( i have tried reasoning with him) to avoid financial and emotional stress? I would be going along with humanitarian group, too. We have NEVER co parented. I parent he sends the required support. thats the way it has been. Please advise.

    • Monica

      If you and Father have joint legal custody (legal custody means decision making about the child’s health, safety, welfare and education) you will need his consent to take your son out the country. If Father does not consent you will have to file a motion in the family court in your county seeking permission.

      If you have sole legal custody but Father has visitation which will be affected by the trip outside the country, you will also need to obtain his consent or a court order.

      If Father does consent to the trip be sure to get his consent in writing!

  • I’m a father of two girl. I have Joint custody. My ex-wife has Primary custody. Can I file a complaint that charges her with Custodial Interference? I have a court order to have custody 3 day a week and everyother Sunday.Since July I have seen my girls 11 times today is Jan 25

    • JohnC

      Recently dissolved relationship, we have a beautiful 8 month old daughter. Initial custody hearing pending, she filed complaint for sole custody not parenting time and I filed counter-complaint for sole custody 50:50 parenting time. I have been active father since birth, I was there for her first breaths, she held my fingers like handle bars while breastfeeding…I have shared equally, if not a majority, of all at home care. I had the baby solo every other weekend while she worked and we shared all other times. She states to this date, even her lawyer stated it, I am a wonderful father. Her filing for sole custody likely has to do with desire for more money for support.

      Nevertheless, heres the lowdown:
      She left for her parents leaving me with our daughter. She returned 48hrs later and we signed a parenting time agreement that laid out dates and times as well as our agreement for shared legal and physical custody of our daughter that we would follow until mediation. Next business she was in court filing for sole custody. Court pending later this month.
      We followed agreement until last week when she wanted to change. She sent text, agree to this new schedule or I will not transfer custody on your scheduled day. I said no since it reduced my time by half. Next day she refused to tranfer custody, I called police, they confirmed her refusal but could not do anything since no court order. It has been 9 days now. Attempted to file Order to Show Cause but judge would not hear since no imminent physical danger. Emotional damage of being denied access to parent that baby had close to day-to day relationship since birth does not count.
      I know I can file a criminal complaint per N.J.S.A. 2C:13-4(a) Interference with custody (including Parenting time) under 2. After being served with process…prior to the issuance of temporary or final order determining custody or parenting time rights to a minor child…

      I know I can file complaint, the Question is: Has anybody ever done this and do they actually prosecute?

  • George

    I live in Az and have temp physical custody of our three kids. I have a OP against my wife that states she is to only text me when she needs to communicate with me.. She gets limited visitation by way of curb side pick up and the visitation states that the times are to be strictly followed. She however refuses to show up on time and then just keeps the kids extra to offset the time that she was late… I dont want to make things worse but im not sure if not going to the police for custodial interferance and violating the OP by calling me constantly, will help.. on the other hand i fear not doing so will weaken my case in court.. Im just trying to get suggestions on if I should go to the police and then also file for enforcement.. or would just fileing with the court be just as effective? Also she is not allowed to have any achohol 12hrs prior and during but i found out that she has been. Is there a way to try and prove it or am i powerless if she simply states that she has not been?

    • jumix

      You are smart enough to get OP against your wife. In other words, you know how to take advantage of our legal system in your favor.

      What’s your point asking here?

  • james

    If there is no court order or custody agreement in play can you still be charged with custodial interference?

    • george elson

      At least not in Arizona… I had to get a court order to have anything dealt with.. The police and courts did not care about anything and stated that neither of us (my self or my wife) had any leagle recourse against each other untill there was a court order in place.

      • james

        I live in NM, there is no court order in place yet. My ex fiance filed for custody of the child but i have yet to respond so it hasnt gone to court yet. I have the child and she called an officer we have spoken to whom called me and said that he is going to file custodial interference on me.

  • george elson

    The best thing i can suggest is to file a response as soon as possible.. technically you both have rights to the child so if you compleatly deny accsess to the child there may be an issue. what I did was agree to meet a chucky cheese for visitation. They put an armband on the child that matches up with you and the child cannot leave unless you are with them. that way she will get to visit and you dont have to worry about her taking off with the child. If she has ever been violent then you can file for an order of protection that will also make it easier for you. Do not include the child on the OP if there has been no violence towards the child though.. that will just look like your abusing the system.. best thing though is to get a lawyer at this point.

    • niki

      I found out earlier this year my ex has been abusing my daughters, cps told me to file a motion to restrict and po which was Granted for 60 days and which time my youngest is suffering from ptsd bad she has panick attacks 3+ times a day her school personall and therapist and pediatrician all are saying it will make things worse if I allow her to go back. So I filed a motion to extend the p.o. And attached affidavites from her school and therapist stating she is in emotional destress, and the judge denied it stating “no athority”!! I then filed a motion to restrict w same documents to have an emergqncy hearing and that was denied and she wants us to do hearing for motion to modify!! Well my daughter is due to go back to him tomorrow and were all terified he told her he would hurt her if she told!! I’m scared hell hurt her or worse run away w her!! If the judge denied all these can I have a good cause to keep her??!! Help I’m so scared

  • chris

    I am considering moving out of massachusetts to upstate New York with my daughter who is 16 yrs old. The absent parent her father hasnt had any contact or visitation with daughter due to his visitation taken away 7 yrs ago per order of the court. I am finding it difficult due to the cost of living in Mass to make ends meet.I am considering a Prosperous job offer in NY and have looked into a Reputable school for my daughter to finish her last 2 yrs of highschool and have also found a great college for her to attend after High school..Do I need the absent parents permissin to relocate or do I need to go into the Family Probabte court and get a judges permission? Any help you could pass along would be appreciated.
    Thank you for your time, Chris

    • It depends on what the most recent court order regarding custody and visitation provides. If the last court order provides that you have sole legal and physical custody and that father has no visitation, then you may not need a court order. However, if father has any court ordered visitation you will need to seek an order from the court that modifies the visitation order considering your new location.

      • Melynda

        I have planned to take my daughter on vacation to hawaii for 16 days in april i have sent 2 certified letters to her father and he refuses to sign for them or pick them up at the post office. I have sole custody and have given him a full itinerary and how he can call me and what visitations days he will miss and that he is can make them up if he wants. He has supervised visits one day a week so he will only be missing two days. Can i still be held in contempt

        • Melynda

          I live in the MASS

        • Melynda, I would also send it to the supervisor of the visitations. Perhaps also put in the letter some verbiage that “non-objection to this request is consider consent”. Doesn’t usually matter if the receiver signs for certified mail, so long as you have the receipt it was delivered, don’t ask for return receipt or a signature for them to leave the mail and you just send certified (not return receipt requested). Then, he will either reply or your covered with plenty of notice. If he files a contempt, you can show you did everything in your power to notify, negotiate and follow the Order. You have to be in WILLFUL contempt to be found in contempt. Consult an attorney or the law on your own. In my opinion, have fun in Hawaii, but do one more certified letter with that verbiage and to the supervisor of the visitations – they do need to be notified as well. I’m not an attorney. Aloha!

  • Steve

    My ex wife is refusing now to bring my son half way for my visitation time. Which is in the final decree. Claiming she can’t afford the gas.

    What can I do?

  • Chris

    What if the child wants to stay where they are by their own choice and has been given permission by the custodial parent to stay where they are (and has proof via a text message/email)? Can the custodial parent still charge the non custodial parent with interference?

    • george

      yes.. Some states do not care what the childs wishes are. Some consider their wishes depending on their age but what the court says must be followed. If the custodial parent wishes to change things based off of what the child says, then they need to go to court and use that as part of their argument. Keep in mind text, email, and such can be forged. Also kids do not always know what is in their best intrest…

  • jay

    pls help i have a 10 month old son me and my ex have joint custody but when its time for visitation she will not give him to me and she wont give up the car seat what can i do is this aginst the law in arizana

    • You should bring an action in family court to inform the judge that mother is not complying with the court order. The court may give you more time if it finds that mother is not cooperating and is alienating you from your son.

    • Sharon

      Buy your own car seat! As a parent, it is advisable to provide certain things for you own household, of your own accord, for your child’s safety, needs, and welfare. Given the child’s age, diapers and formula would be appropriate to have on hand too. Show you have a good home for the child to visit and are educated on baby care.

  • Chris

    Hi Jay
    If there is an established Court Order for you to visit your child then your x may be in Contemp. She has to abide by a Judge’s order or she can be put in jail or possibly have her custodial rights taken away.I would document the days you didnt get to visit with your child and I would go file a contemp order against her if she doesnt let you see the child on the next scheduled visit. Good Luck to you.

  • Britney

    What about a grand-mother who has gaurdianship over a child but makes the mother (whom still has full-custody of the child) believe that she (the grand-mother) has all of the authority over the child, is that custodial interference?

  • Georgana

    My husband are legally married but reside in separate homes due to physical violence that required surgery to repair a broken bone in my face. We are not legally separated yet, and were each residing with our 13 year old daughter one week at a time. Due to continuing mental and emotional abuse I have told my husband that she will remain with me until he can get his act together, and she can feel safe with him. I only live 5 minutes from him and have not said he can’t meet her somewhere other than his house. Have I broken any laws in Arizona?

    • You should seek an order from the family law court immediately. You should inform the court about the domestic violence and emotional abuse. Be sure to present copies of your medical records which show your injuries. You should request that the court issue an order that either provides that father has no visitation or has supervised visitation.

  • Michele

    I have 3 kids with my ex who lives in AZ. He has not seen the kids since July 08. He has a girlfriend who said she showed our then 2 yr old how to touch himself, falsified charges, threatened to have me put in jail when the father and I were fighting. The father falsified a restraining order and after I was off of probation from falsified charges from the girlfriend, I took the kids and went back home to NM. He was abusive, left kids in dirty diapers till I got there to change them before false charges were done, I had them 75 to 80 percent of the time, he locked them in their rooms, had the bigger twin hit the smaller twin, put them in wrestling moves at age one for punishment, never admits to any wrong doing and has all of the signs of Narcassistic personality disorder. he was abusive to me, and threw me twice, once when he was mad and I was pregnant with a second set of twins and at 5 months pregnant after miscarriage, his step sister tried to punch me and he threw me on the couch instead. He has two older daughters who live in NM and he has nothing to do with them. he is mad because the state made him pay child support so he pays around 700 a month for 4 out of 5 kids. He says he will see them and wont, has no vehicle, lives with the child molester who is bipolar and has another friend who is bipolar and I copied her blogs to show her mental illness is not in control. The father has severe man boobs meaning his weight is severely, severely over weight and so is his girlfriend, making him a walking heart attack. In 2007, he had his mom and step dad take kids for one week and it ended up to be a month. they disconnected their phone, and i cried day in and day out, called cops to do a welfare check and told them to bring me my kids since the father didnt want to take care of them and now that i am back in nm, they are an hr away. i have told them to either be in their life or stay out and seem it is ok just for birthdays or some holidays to come around, but can go on a 3 plus hr drive to see first grandchild. Mental games are always played. I was so distraught over what she said about my son and all that had happened, I had to see a psychiatrist, and the twin that was forced to his the smaller twins had anger bursts and had to have him evaluated, which said due to father’s chaos, put kids behind mentally. They do not like their dad, are mad, and do not want to see him. I have told him I do not want nothing to do with him because it is his mental BS that is nothing to be desired, he refuses to get mental help, loose the worthless people in his life, move back and be in all of his kids lives. I was told that if I do not have a court order and I dont, that I could not keep the kids from him UNLESS I have mental health prof, to back me up on his behavior and I do. He literally got mad at me in real life because he had a dream I killed him. He said his girlfriend is a better person because she fixed her daughter’s rapist breakfast…it was from he was a client that is retarded and she still went around him. There is just so much abuse, neglect, and more than I do not want to communicate with him. It is nothing but a non ending battle and his phone calls to the kids are a minute or less, and he will go without calling for days. The kids do better when there is no communication. I do not teach them to hate their dad, I tell them the truth in the past when they asked about him, but now they do not ask for him and the children are just 5,5, and 4. Oh and he would have them swim for hours in the AZ heat to tire them out so he would not have to deal with them, exposing them to future skin cancer. Am I doing the right thing by telling him to leave us alone? I told him to take me to court that I do not care and I have no worries for I have sole custody of my first son and I do not let the father see him for he is Antisocial personality disorder and in prison.

    • Sharon

      He assaulted you while you were pregnant? Why do you not have a domestic violence restraining order? Is he a danger to the children? You need to talk to someone. Call your local domestic violence organization and get an advocate to help you.

      I would file for sole custody in my state since that is where the children reside. Limit or deny visitation if he is dangerous or living with a sex offender. It sounds like him giving the children to the grandparents with no contact is custodial interference, but you don’t say if there are any custody orders or not. Get an attorney and make it legal and concrete. That will give you peace.

  • Matt

    My estranged wife relocated our two kids, 10 & 9, to AZ from NJ in August of 2009 without my consent or a court order. We met with a court mediator to try and resolve custody/visitation in November. Mediator sent our case before a judge because we could not agree on custody and visitation. We had court on Feb 9th, 2010 and the judge ruled that NJ had no jurisdiction since the children had been away for almost 6 months. I have since filed paperwork to establish a custody/visitation motion in Maricopa County, AZ. My wife has stated that she does not want the cvhildren to visit me this year because she wants them to get used to living in AZ. What are my options at this moment? Can I file for criminal custodial interference when there has been no court order issued yet? Since the children moved to AZ, i have taken up a job in MD. What state would I need to file for Custodial Intereference?

  • grek

    My sister lived in hawaii, i flew her over here to me in Washington because she was being abused by my parents. Now they’re calling it custodial interference which is a felony because i flew her out of state. I thought it wasn’t considered custodial interference if she was in physical danger. Now the police department in hawaii is saying Washington police will arresst me if she isn’t returned. But my parents have already agreed to sign custody over to me. What are my next steps?

  • Gin

    My cousin left the U.S.A. with his child 10 years ago from Arizona in good faith with a notarized agreement between his ex wife and himself allowing father and child to live out of the country for 3 years and renewable every 3 years. Right upon leaving the U.S.A. his ex wife filed malicious charges against him- threatening to take the child out of the country and he lost by default. The court awarded her full custody of child. My cousin is still out of the country with the child and never returned back to Arizona because of those malicious charges. Child in now 15 years old. Divorce decree assigned father as residential parent with joint custody allowing mother to have visitations on weekends. Father has been wanting to return to Arizona with child but he is afraid of the consequences. Mother told his son over the phone just to go back to the States when he is already 18 years old. My cousin is not a U.S. citizen and his ex wife is a U.S. citizen. Will my cousin be jailed if he returns to Arizona? How long will he be in jail? Will he be deported after serving time in jail? What are the chances of father winning this case?

  • barb

    i am the custodial parent of my 6 yr old son his dad gets him everyother wkend but wen he picks him up he spends a cpl hrs with him then leaves our son at his partents and goes over to his girlfriends for the night so i think its pointless for my son to go with him and my son hates goin i was going to not let him take my son on his visitations anymore but i don’t want to get in trouble. is there certain guidelines for visitations like if he’s so many minutes late i don’t have to let him take our son. or is there something else i can do i feel i shouldn’t have to force him to spend time with his son. i don’t know the laws here in nebraska

  • Tamara

    My son is 6 years old. His paternal step-grandmother has had custody of him since he was 10 months old. She got me to sign a paper giving her legal custody which she told me as temporary custody. Anyway since 2007 I have been going to cour fighting for custody. First I had to have visitations at a supervised visitation center.

    Then after I completed that I got every weekend visits. Then we went back to court last year and I got to have him for standard visitation where I get him every other weekend and some holidays. For about 5 visits in Total I have not had transportation to go pick him up. I just got a phone on and told her that my son Bryce (who lives with me) grandmother’s spouse is in the hospital with lung cancer and he was my ride to get my 6 year old Braden. She said that she is stopping all visitations.

    Can she stop visitations if I do not have transportation to pick him up? (greene county ohio court has given me visitation rights and i told the judge that I can see if I could get someone to take me to get him and bring him back but my ride is an old individual and now he is in the hospital)

    Can she stop the visitations because of this and if I don’t have transportation to get him how do I get to see him? She refuses to bring him to me. And I owe child support for him and they put a block on my license.

    • Tamara(more added)

      More information: The step-grandmother has moved around in the past two years to 4 different places. 2 which have been counties away. She lives in Greene county now which is one county away from Montgomery but has had 3 or 4 different men in my 6 year old’s life. One of those men with which she is living with for the past 6 months+ is her own flesh and blood daughters ex boyfriend whom my 6 year old is old enough to realize that the daughter was with him before. She also has said she is stopping visitations because he is wetting the bed, having trouble in school now, and seeing a psychiatrist because he supposably was in his room trying to tie a rope or something around his neck and was asked how he was going to kill himself when he threatened it to her. Why would you ask a 6 year old that question. She said he isn’t supposed to be around my two older sons 8 and 10 because of their behaviors (they live with their paternal grandfather whom i get along with and is not the same grandfather as my 6 year old) She is making my kids, even my 3 year old who lives with me out to be monsters when they are good kids. What kid doesnt act up or have a rivalry with their siblings? I can’t keep my kids from not knowing there siblings it is wrong. She has made my 6 year old out to believe that she was his mom and his grandfather was his dad since he could talk and there was no mention of me or his real father to him. When we got along prior to her moving again in 2007 I was always to be refered to as a friend when she would bring him to visit even though she told him who his brothers were. And she would bring him to see me or I would take the bus and she would pick me up at the bus stop. Now that I filed for custody/visitation in 2007 she refused to let me see or talk to him and when we went to court she refused to do the transportation with the bus. i’m trying to make an effort here but the bus only goes so far into fairborn. and she wont bring him to the bus stop she says im supposed to have a ride to and from her house which i was till my ride got sick. Now she wants to stop all visits per the doctors/school (supposably that’s their recommendation) and wait a year or two for me to get my visits. I don’t have the money for a lawyer and had drawn up the court documents myself for custody and visitation and a friend’s lawyer helped me get visits but can’t help no more. What can I do to get my visits and get my son back?

      • Sharon

        You could modify the visitation orders to require grandparent to provide transportation due to distance of move which interferes with your seeing your son. You could also request longer visitation times for summer and holidays.

        If you want custody, provide the stable environment. I don’t think her repeat moving (and revolving boyfriends) shows stability. She may be blowing smoke on school recomendations, I would contact school and keep informed of son’s academics and progress. Be involved and be “in the know” when it comes to your son, especially if she is alleging behavioral problems (and blaming you, but that might not be truthful). Request access to school records through the court if you get denied.

  • Mom

    My ex and I have been divorced for over 3 years now. He asked for a military transer about 1.5 years ago so that his new wife could get a job in another city. His new residence is 3.5 hours away. He is entitled to visit his children every other week and only sees them once every other month or so. I had met him half way several times and EVERY time he was 30 min to 1 hr. late with no call (no, he does not have a cell). Transporation is not listed in the divorce decree and I have tried to express that I too have a life and think it is very inconsiderate of him. He laughs and says I have to leagally meet him half way because he is military…and it was a military move. Is this true? Mind you…he put in for the transfer…not thinking about how this would affect HIS children… only thinking about his new family…

  • A Father

    What about millions of Fathers who are MIA because of the family court system? Political figures often discuss the welfare of our children but never discuss the problem regarding our family court system, unfair visitation laws and how those laws effective fathers who want to be part of their children’s lives.

    There is a Child Support Enforcement agency in every state but not a Visitation/Parenting Time Enforcement Agency. Why?? This needs to be an issue addressed at the federal level and not decided by the states because the system at the state level is not working. Most states call the time Fathers spend with their children as “Visitation” instead of calling it what it is “Parenting time”. Parenting time is a time to be a parent to your child. Visitation is what the family court force on fathers, as they want fathers to become an occasional visitor. Family courts wants fathers to settle for becoming a ‘Disney Dad,’ one whose role is nothing more than outings to theme parks once or twice a month. Why can’t the family courts grant time to fathers in a frequency, duration, and type reasonably calculated to promote a strong and loving relationship between the child and the parent? The standard visitation which is four days a month is not enough time to be an effective parent to your child. The family courts very, very rarely enforce visitation. Here, the prejudice is against fathers and their parental rights. The congress refuses to acknowledge the injustice, cruelty, brutality and inhumanity of denying the love and companionship between a father and their child. Divorce from a spouse is not a divorce from your children, nor should custody decisions be used as a punishment. Joint custody can benefit the children, the divorced parents, and society in general by having both parents involved in the child’s upbringing.

    Fathers are systematically eliminated from their children’s lives. Father’s parental rights are systematically terminated by family court judges who have a deep seated gender bias against fathers. Termination of parental rights is both total and irrevocable. Termination of parental rights is the family law equivalent of the death penalty in a criminal case. The primary casualties in our Domestic Relations courts are our children.

    Courts are supposed to approach cases of child custody, support payments, and visitation rights in a gender-neutral posture. It sounds fair, and it is fair. But it is a myth. Judges are not enforcing these gender laws fairly, and few seem to care. Unless you have been forcefully removed from the everyday upbringing of your child by the Court, you can not fathom the emotional distress. To discriminate against fathers because of their gender in this day and age is no different than telling a person to go to the back of the bus because of their skin color. With sole or primary custody going to the mother in roughly 90% of cases, claiming custody is not based on gender would be like claiming hiring is not based on race if 90% of a particular race, though equally qualified, was unable to obtain employment. This was missing from the Obama’s Father’s day speech. What about millions of Fathers who are MIA because of the family court system?

    • Tamara(more added)

      It’s not just about Father’s fighting for parenting time/custody. It’s about mothers too who have wrongly had their kids taken from them from manipulative grandparents. not saying all grandparents are manipulative but my sons step grandmother is. So I am fighting for the same injustice as those fathers you talk about and mothers.

    • Cari

      what about the mothers going through this my kids dad has refused me all visits for four years. My daughter recently found me again on facebook { her dad has had my address and phone number since I moved to utah} He has allowed me to speak to her on the phone now he is threatening after my daughter has told of abuse in the dads home that if she mentions him or his wife in anyway, He is going to stop the phone conversations again. He kicked the 17 yr old out when he was 15 and never told me. The 17 yr old now lives with me. He refuses to allow me access to the 11 yr old in anyway shape or form telling me my 15 yr old and my 11 yr old we are to pretend he is adopted. My daughter has asked me to file for custody which i am in the process of doing, Aside from the abuse told to me in my daughters letters and phone conversations… Do I have grounds for parental alienation. He has told my children bad things about me and they have told me of it. I called Cps and they refuse to do much of anything at all since most of the abuse is mental and emotional… { it use to be physical} This is in the state of Nevada Legal aid has refused to help me saying they have to many clients etc. An attorney in Utah told me this could take $25,000 to win. I don’t have that kind of money I need all the advice… help an pointing in the right direction I can get. Thanks

    • Angel`s dad

      You are right for everything, but 90%. It is 99%. I cryied while I was reading your comment. Check my story which is a few stories above yours.

      • Disgusted Dad

        I’m a dad as well, and your comment made me emoitional while reading it!! Kudos, well written. I just wish there was something i could do. I lack empathy for any woman claiming “what about a mother’s rights, i was blah blah blah”, to me, these women are missing the point. What’s happening to them on very rare occasion, is happening to father’s everywhere, all the time! In my opinion, there should be legislation set forth and fully enforced. I think most women reading this don’t understand the issue. If they did, they would understand that any laws made to support our fight as father’s would support cover them as well. It’s disgustingly sad when a person can read through everything that “A FATHER” <—the author, wrote…and come back with a "what about me" statement….no understanding, no empathy.

        • Stepmom of 2

          I totally agree about this father right’s thing. I like the women’s rights for the sole purpose of true domestic violence cases in which they have special circumstances and need the extra help. BUT my husband’s exwife says everything is domestic violence, that is her method to regain physical custody of the boys 3 and 6. She did this almost 3 years ago judge told her to get off butt and get a job and her own place then they would talk more about custody issues boys were to remain with us… Ya 2 days later we were slapped with an order of protection my husband supposedly mentally abused her and kicked her out of the house…Umm judge did that. We could not see or talk to boys for 30 days nothing to appeal the false allegations. By times judge realized what she was doing it was 3 months later and 3rd judge. All while she got evicted from house for failure to pay she could not afford had no job. Then a homeless shelter, hotel, a drug house, and back to another homeless shelter. We finally got custody back to us. And had them for 2 years. This weekend we dropped them off for visitation normal weekend on fri to sun. Heard nothing which was very strange boys dont like going usually get called to come get someone early. Go to pick them up Sunday they have vanished no contact no nothing… Monday heard from 6 year olds school transcripts are being requested to a new school half way across the country We were told that we could take them just the way she did they free willingly get in car it is ok… But get there and find out she has done it again she told a judge that I (step-mom) nearly beat her to death, there is no police report, no medical records, because it never happened. Plus she looked really good for almost being beaten to death, no marks.. She was granted primary custody… We could not bring them back and soo sad telling them we could not take them. 6 year old grasp too much of the situation that it is sad… Why did mommy have to go to judge and say I cannot be around you guys I told her I wanted to??? Not only did she lie about her beating but she lied about the enviornment she placed the children back in 6 year old was sexually abused at the house th previous summer on visitation. Come to find out she told police she was custodial parent and dropped his sexual abuse case it was against his cousin her nephew… Now they are telling him to say it never happened but too late there is a dvd of his disclosure… They also said his cousin is better now it wont happen again… They told the judge that it was safe house no child abuse cases no wonder she closed them… Well before we left got it open again real wide…. They are looking into how she took the kids this weekend… Boys are not allowed to be near me per her saying I do not have the right. Ya but I raised both of those boys more than she has the youngest has lived with me more than her and the previous weekend she sent him home right after he got there he threw up on her. Their dad was talking on the phone to her and heard her yelling at him for throwing up on her… She never asked later or next day how he was doing or if he was better… Just towards end of weekend “guess I don’t get to see him” I am a female and totally hate these women’s rights. If this situation was reversed my husband would be in jail the minute he was found

    • Ben

      I am a father I have a13 year old daughter, your civil rights have been taking away from us most of all your GOD giving rightts have been taking away because of mothers games and the judge being bias.The mother has used my identity to get in my bank account in my verizon account.shes getting away with it. I havent been able to see my daughter in a year because of mother and judge.I mis my daughter very much I want to be in her life for the rest of my days,I say I wont give up but sometimes I feel likeit.Fathers like us need to get toghter and stick toghter and GETER DONE

    • pk

      A father you are awesome. My husband has gone through so much and still does with his ex wife and kids she uses them to get back at him and is a horrible mother, and nobody will do anything about it, because we live in a america where the mother does what she pleases period…….Argue all you want but as a women I know this to be fact…. And its shameful and pathetic. These kids need both parents and I think if one I dont care who plays games they should lose all rights. If you look at all the stuff on here it’s all the same, this person doesnt do what I want them to do, this person isn’t following it edzactly do you have any idea what it’s like to watch the man you love cry because his kids are treated like crap and we dont have the money to fight his ex because she gets it all. Things need to change and people need to wake the heck up.

  • L R Edgar

    My brother has full custody of his 7 year old daughter. The mother lost rights because she did not want to take a Physicological examination for the courts. Its been 5 years since the mother had any contact, up until 2 months ago. My brother allowed her to visit with the daughter. The last time my brother heard or seen his daughter was 2/7/2010. He went to the police and spoke with his attorneys as well as his daughter attorneys and they told him that this is considered Custodial interference, the judge issued a RIT, and the mother has until 4/6, 2010, to return the daughter. How is that possible?? Is this how this situation is to be handled? His daughter needs to be in school, not to mention the mother is mentally unstable and she does not have a place to live. What should we do at this point?? please help,

    Renea E.

  • Stephanie

    My husband is in the Military and the judge stated that if we went overseas we would be reliabe for 100% cost of the airfare for my son to see his biological dad. Is it the law of Texas that we are reuired to pay roundtrip if I follow my husband in the military?

    • TRACY

      I can only yell you that when my daughter’s father moved over 475 miles away to the Dallas, Texas area that the Texas judge told him the same thing… You (the father) moved and so you (the father) must pay for all of the transportation fees. It is not reasonable to expect to burden one parent with HUGE travel expenses just because the other parent moved. So, typically, the parent that moves further away is the one who bears the transportation expenses… at least in Texas.

  • elduwena

    I was wondering if the custodial parent puts a lot of restrictions on the non custodial parent and its stressing the non custodial parent. can that non custodial parent file a suit against the custodial parent for causing emotional distress? Will it affect the court oder that exist? Will that be a consideration for the judge to award physical custody to the non custodial parent?

  • michael

    I have joint custody with child mother, but i am primary custodial parent. i had a dispute with my two teenager and the 11yrs old son did not like me when i blew my head gasket, but nothing was said toward him. i had threat to kick 17yr but when turn 18yr of age. so now the 11yr old wants to live with his mother. and that we are not a happy family. that what my 11yrs old had told grandparents and his mother. so the mother insistence on keeping him even thought i am primary custodian.

  • nash

    I live in VA. My husband moved our son to Louisiana without my knowledge. I was at work and when I got home all my husband’s thing were gone and when I went to my son’s room, his stuff was gone too. I called the school and the teacher said his dad picked him up at 10:30 that morning. We are still married but had problems in our marriage. My husband is a lieutenant in the US Army and accepted orders to work in Louisiana until Sept. He wanted me and the other children, not his biologically, to move with him but I did not think it was in their best interest to do so especially in the middle of the school year. Is this legal? I have filed for custody. What are my chances of getting sole physical custody seeing that VA has been our son’s home since he was born, he just turned 7. He is doing good in school. He has 3 brothers here and all of my husband’s family is here. they have no family in Louisiana except my mother in law who is an alcoholic. My husband brought her with them to care for our son. He also does not have a permanent job

  • Cindy

    I was wondering something my ex husband has full custody of my child and has been indicted on 3 charges of manuf,sell and distribution of a drug substance what steps other than filing for full custody can I take. he keeps post poning our custody case until after his drug case has been heard. What can I do? I fear for the safety of my child.

    Cindy in Virgina

  • John DesRoches

    My daughter was taken from Page,Az.I am the Primary caretaker,My ex-wife has done this before.The local Page,Az police refuse to help me,What can I do legaly??

  • Carla Fields

    My daugther’s friend skipped school and was with my daugther and another friend. Her mother and stepfather kept calling me at asking me if i knew were there daugther was and i said know i have been at work all day. They asked me to call my daugther to see if she had heard from their daugther so i did and my daugther said that she went with a friend to the health department and i called them back and told them what she said. And they continued to call me at work saying she was at my house and i told themn that my daughter was the only one that was suppose to be there and that she my be gone with my sisiter in-law. And now they have served me papers and charing me with Custodical Interference. But I have witnesses and proof that i was at work all day long. What can i do.

  • Norma

    I currently have a restraining order against my ex boyfriend. We have one child together. At this time, I am granted temporary sole custody due to the fact of the restraining order. My ex’s attorney and I came to an agreement on custody and parenting time just a week ago. The order has not been signed by a judge as of today.

    This weekend was my ex-boyfriend’s weekend with our child. The only contact we are allowed to have due to the restraining order is via email. I have emailed him several times and he is refusing to respond. He only does this when he has our child with him. He emails me throughout the weekends and weeks that he does not have the child and I respond to him.

    Basically, I’m asking what rights do I have as the custodial parent to compel to him respond to my emails when he has our child with him? Is he breaking any laws where law enforcement is required to respond?

  • Shanna

    My neighbor has a 4-month old baby and was living with the baby’s father until a couple of weeks ago. He filed for custody and took the baby, against the mother’s wishes, to the next county to his mother’s house. My neighbor called the police, and the officer that came told her that this was not illegal. I think the officer is wrong. We live in VA and my understanding is that VA does not give preference to either parent when custody is pending, and that neither parent can remove the child without the other’s consent. Am I right?

    When my neighbor went to the grandmother’s house to retrieve the baby, they told her the baby was not there, and that he had been taken across state lines to NC. The father of the baby has brought him back a couple of times to let her see him, but always removes him again under threat of physical violence if she doesn’t comply. She is young, 20, overwhelmed, and thinks she doesn’t have any rights. She has since also filed for custody but the hearing is not until June.

    I have spent hours searching the net and can’t find a definitive answer to this. I have found lots of info re: when custody has been awarded, but very little pertaining to situations in which custody is pending. Is this custodial interference? Is it parental abduction?

    Thank you.

  • Elizabeth

    I have been living apart from my husband for 9 months now. When I left him originally it was due to abuse, I had an OP and he filed for divorce. We had set up visitation of every other weekend. We ended up canceling the divorce and the OP because he wants me back, and I don’t have the money to pay an attorney. Now my husband has been caring for them on weekends that I have to work, and 1-2 days during the week when I have to work late. There is no real set schedule for visitation. I would like to take them for a long weekend out of state which I discussed with him previously that he did not object to. Now he is stating that he is going to have me arrested if I go and I will never see my kids again. He is saying he makes more money than me and he has more familial support than I do. This weekend when I went to pick them up he made me stand out in the cold and rain with him for 2 hrs before he would let me take the kids home. I would like to know if the previous arrangement is still valid even though the divorce was canceled, and can he prohibit me from taking the kids on vacation?

  • jaylee walker

    i live in alabama and currently going thru divorce with my childs father who is incarcerated on sodomy of a 15 year old and assault. He is in prison right now and will be out in another year. in my divorce papers it says i have sole legal and physical custody of her,however will he have visitation rights since he is a sex offender? or will it be supervised? also he has sent threatening letters by mail and threatened me over the phone, his family is crazy and they have no respect for me or my child,i am a good mother and have taken care of my child since day 1….what do you suggest and in alabama what are the factors that are considered when it comes down to visitation rights with the noncustodial parent?

  • John Davis

    My stepson has just been released from prison on parole after two years of a five year sentence. His wife sued for divorce at the time of his incarceration, and was granted joint conservatorship as primary custodial parent, with my stepson as non-custodial parent. He contributed his entire 401k account to three year’s advance child support. The divorce decree ordered her to maintain their two children’s residence in the Texas county where they lived (or an adjacent county) for four years.
    However, in January of this year she wrote my wife that she had lost her job in December and without even seeking another job here, moved with the kids to Topeka, Kansas secretly, without permission and without giving notice to anyone, including the children’s father or the Court. She has family in Kansas, but had no job there when she moved. My stepson cannot leave Dallas as a condition of parole, and cannot afford to pay for the children and an escort to bring them here for scheduled visitations, nor can he afford to pay an attorney. Is this a case of custodial interference? And how should he go about securing his rights to see his children? He does not want to force his ex to move back to Texas, or be fined or jailed and is willing to substitute electronic visitation for many personal visits. He obviously cannot at this time seek to become the custodial parent. He would like for the Court to order his ex to pay for the difference in cost of travel for visitation (the kids have a great relationship with their grandmother and me, and can stay with us), and order her to provide for weekly electronic sessions on video iChat or Skype. These requests, although expensive for the mother, seem reasonable in consideration of her disregard for Court Orders. What are his options?

  • Jennifer

    My ex and I have joint physical and legal of our 4 children. We share visitation 2 1/2 days per week and every other weekend. I have recently been awarded a different timeshare because I am moving from Northern California to Southern California, the judge has granted me permission to move with the children with liberal visitation to their father. This custody doesn’t go into effect for another month. My ex is very manipulative, puts the kids in the middle constantly and has made his feelings known about his disapproval of the move. Today was one of my days for visitation. After I dropped off 2 of our children to walk to school, one told the other she was taking a new way to school, long story short, Father orchestrated for her to walk to a pre determined location and be picked up and brought to his home without my knowledge or consent. After my other daughter realized that her sister didn’t make it to school, she became worried and upset and called me saying her sister was missing. Police were called, father was called and asked point blank if he had spoken with or seen our daughter and he said no. At some point he called and said she “showed up” at his house- He lives 25 miles away. He came up with a huge story that he told our daughter that she needed to stick to, however the police talked to both my ex and our daughter. My ex was asked- did you set this up? he said NO. Our daughter was asked what happened and came clean that her dad set the whole thing up. Has he violated any laws?

    • Father did not violate any laws, but his behavior should be brought to the family court’s attention. However, it will be hard for you to prove that he orchestrated your daughter’s return to his home.

  • Teri

    My question is: I live in Az but my 2 boys live in Ga with there dad. Our visitation has not been modified since I moved. I visit every summer for 2 weeks. Can he keep me from seeing my kids?

  • Beverly

    My son is incarcerated for a year and wants to write to his son and call an talk with him, he has visitation rights already in place. The mother refuses to let anyone know where she lives. I am the grandparent and I have made numerous attempts to contact the mother (custodial parent) and she refuses to answer.My son and our family have no idea where she lives and has cut off all communication. My son feels like his son has been kidnapped by her. He has been involved with his son now for 6yrs and not being able to contact him he feels his bond with his child is being cut off. Does he have any recourse towards the mother? He does not want to lose contact with his son, when he comes home he wants to continue with his visitation rights and be involved with his son. Please tell me what we do? Also we have (grandparents) been involved with my grandson since his birth, even raising him for awhile, do we have any rights to see him, the mother has cut us off completely too.

  • Carline Gholeston

    My hubby’s ex-wife refused to return their 9-year old daughter last year from Summer visit. Hubby (primary custodial parent) had to file an emergency order to drive over 6 hours to retrieve child. They have NOT been to court so the ex-wife can answer for what she did. Hubby has stated that although he is not trying to keep child from her mother, he will not allow the child to return this Summer until there is a response for ex’s actions. He told the ex she is welcomed to come visit child due to lack of trust with returning child. I should also add there was NO communication with his daughter while she was with mom. Child missed 1 week of school last year as a result of mom’s actions and felt as though she would not be up to par in school because of mom’s actions. Mom currently has no telephone and hubby is afraid all communication with daughter will cease if he sends her with mom. Will hubby be held in contempt of the court order?

  • Linda Johns

    I am having trouble with the state attorneys office signing off or following thur on a arrest warrant for interference with child custody of a 20 month old child. The police report clearly states the facts, but I was never contacted by state attorneys office after numerous calls until I recieved a letter that no action was goiing to be taken because child was returned after getting clerk of court and sheriffs department envolved. within 48 hours. and had no physical injuries, which they do not know because they did not check into incident. The child has been diagnosised with acute post traumatic stress disorder, she cries and tries to hold on when dropping off at school and does not want to be put down at home and will only let her mother and grandma hold her, she is just a different child. She had never been away from her family and mom over night. How do we proceed to make the law be upheld by our state attorney’s office. PLEASE HELP How are we to protect our children if the laws are not enforced. We do live in a small town but the laws are written for a reason. Thank you for your help.

  • Sarah


    Two years ago my husband and I decided to seperate, I moved out of the marital home and we made a verbal agreement to share custody of our daughter who was under my care during his 2 deployments. A month went by and I still hadn’t been allowed to see her, I contacted the police and was told they could do nothing. I went to get her myself and the situation resulted in my arrest and was charged with domestic assault. A COR was put in place by the state of Tennessee stating I could have no contact with the victim (my husband) directly or indirectly. He filed for divorce in Dec 2008, I responded explaining I contested but could not afford a lawyer at present. When the COR was dropped I contacted him via phone on many occasions asking to see my daughter, he denied any form of contact between us, even speaking over the phone. I went to the marital home several times in hopes to just talk person to person and maybe work something out but he was never there or wouldn’t answer the door. A few months later I was told he had moved. When I asked him where he had moved to he would not reply. He finally let me start talking to my daughter over the phone after 7 months of no contact at all. I spoke to police and Army officials who either refused to help or simply couldn’t locate him based on the information I gave them. Finally almost 2 years later I found that he had dropped the divorce in April 2009, changed his last name and moved with my daughter to Washington a short time later. I am not a wealthy person by any means, I live paycheck to paycheck and struggle to make ends meet and cannot afford a lawyer. Our legal aid does not help in divorce or child custody cases. I simply don’t know what to do anymore. I have yet to speak with a lawyer who has any hope of me gaining any form of custody of my daughter due to the domestic assault, my financial situation, and the fact that it’s been nearly 2 years since this whole nightmare began. I took a plea bargain for the domestic assault and completed the 11/29 probation and anger management required. I have a steady, reliable job which I have been employed at for 2 years. I provide well for my infant son (not the product of the marriage) with a stable home environment, education, and health care. I can provide financially for both of my children, it will be hard, but it is possible. When it’s all said and done I feel so helpless. I am quite ignorant when it comes to legal matters and in this situation he always seems to have the upper hand. What ARE my rights? Can he legally move her out of state without my knowledge or change his last name or deny me visitation? If and when he allowed visitation what if I cannot afford to travel the 3,000 plus miles to see her? Is it considered child abandonment on my part because it has been 2 years, even if he is the one denying contact? Someone, anyone, please help me.

  • Patty

    My ex has custody of our two teenage daughters in arizona. Our divorce papers say we have to give the other parent our vacation days on or before may 1st with his choice in even years and mine in odd years. I did not recieve a vacation schedule from him so I gave him my days in june. Now hes telling me I cant have my vacation time Because it wasnt given to him by may 1st. Can he do that or can the cops make him give me the kids for my vacation?

  • jumix

    I am separating with my wife. We have a 3 years old son. We had a separation agreement that she will have the primary custody but I will have visitation for every Saturday. We had the agreement public notarized without a lawyer.

    She recently start denying my visitation right and I had to get the police involved. According to police, they cannot prosecute her if there’s not an official court order. However, they helped me filed a complain. The police office made a phone call to her and my ex told the office that the separation agreement is invalid and if I want to see my son, I have to go to the court to get visitation order, or she won’t let me see my son. The police documented this in the complain.

    I surely will go and get the order. Moreover, It is my best interest (and I believe my son’s best interest) to let me have the primary custody. I did some research over the internet and I am aware this could be a good ground to modify the custody. And the only document that I can use to against her is this document and my own testimony.

    What should be my strategy to increase my odds to get the custody? My ex wife is very emotional and abusive. If she didn’t get what she want from me, she will abuse me through my son, knowing that I love/care my son so much.

  • Abbee

    My husband has joint legal custody of his 2 young sons’. The courty order doesn’t state any specific time he can have them. Just states under reasonable times. But it does say they are to have them 50/50. They were never married though. Back in January of 2008 she took off and moved from Wisconsin (where they lived) to Florida without letting him know anything. We recently found them back in March in South Dakota. We now live in Arkansas. She gave us the kids for 1 month and she told us we had to bring them back July 5th. We are afraid to take them back because she has already threatened us that he will never see them again. Is there any way we can get it where we legally wont get into trouble for not taking them back? Our other problem we face is that we are getting the runaround from the courts and the lawyers. We can’t go to court here in Arkansas because the kids dont live here so we have to go back to wisconsin if we want to go to court because that is where the court order for joint legal custody was signed. But we are just getting the runaround about court and things like that. And we wont be able to go to court by July 5th because thats only a few days away. And by the time the court would happen she could be long gone already. She may not even show up in court in the first place. Is there anything we can do before this all happens?

  • Suzanne

    My husband’s ex has not exercised her 6 week summer visitation which clearly states it begins June 15. yesterday she says she is getting him today for her 6 weeks. I am thinking he should come back home July 27 if we go by the signed documents. she disagrees and is now saying the custody aggreement is null and void b/c they were living together at the time the papers were signed.
    We do have an appt with his lawyer but not until Thursday (lawyer out of town). We also have documented times she has skipped visitation (every other weekend) and when she ask for extra day and we agree but she nevers comes to pick him up.

  • CC

    At our final custody hearing, my ex husband was given 3 weekends a month with our daughter. Also he was ordered to stay out of trouble and that hasnt happened. She is involved in sports and hates going to his house. He has no driving priveleges and can’t take her anywhere. We were went to court 4 years ago and a lot has changed. Is it possible to let her choose? As she gets older, school functions and sports activities are all on the weekends. What should I do?

  • karaokefun

    My son has just filed for custody of his 2 girls that live in Illinois, we live in Iowa. Their mother has been charged with neglect and abuse and tested positive for drugs. The state is involved as well. They were never married, but his name is on their birth certificates and has been paying child support for both girls. My son does have a felony record for drugs, but has cleaned his self up and followed all the rules and regulations that his probation officers had put on him. He has even got with a great girl and they just got married a few weeks ago. I feel my son is the better parent and not just because he’s my son. He he was back with the mother of his children and the way he was then I would never of helped him come up with the money to file for custody and he knows that. I feel the best place for the girls to grow and be loved is with my son. How hard is it when one parent lives in one state and the other lives in another.

  • Jessie

    I have lost custody of my daughter last year due to my substance abuse problem. I did not show up in court so custody was awarded to the father. Since last year i have completed a 6 month treatment I am currently in couseling and i have maintained sobriety after treatment for the last 6 months. However my child’s father moved to South Carolina after he gained custody I can’t afford representation but i know i have rights as a mother

  • sunshine

    My ex-spouse withholds visitation even though our divorce decree states we have joint custody. She used to live in New Jersey and we were notified by the courts there she was trying to take my custody and I have no contact. The judge ruled in our favor and said she had no right and if she wanted to change the custodial rights she would have to go back to Texas where we were divorced. However, neither one of us live in Texas anymore and she still withholds visitation. What should I do? I don’t want to give up but I am tired of fighting with her? It clearly states in our divorce decree we are to share holidays and breaks but she has my daughter thinking she dictates when she can come or not.

  • mary anne alldridge

    What happens if my daughter runaways at 17 with her 16 year old boyfriend they decided to drive his truck to washington by following us. The kids told me that they were never coming home i never drove them from oregon. Boyfriend drove my daughter to washington with my 18 year old son to go to montana Boyfriend and my 18 year old son drove. I never drove. my 18 year old son asked the boyfriend if he had enough money to drive to washington. They have charged me with Custodial interferance in the First Degree in linn county in oregon im wondering how they can charge me for taking them inticing them and removing them from oregon when i never drove.

  • Concerned step-mom

    My husband and I have physical custody of his three children ages 17, 14, and 12. His ex-wife took us to court for the second time last December, trying to get custody back from us. We won again, she immediately contacted the schools that the kids were going to and told them we were out of district. She has proven many different times and many different ways that she does not care about the well being of the children. She is more concerned with having power and control over them. She is also very jealous of my relationship with the kids as I am very involved with their lives as well as my two children. Since court she has made it so difficult to have them go with her as she will not bring them to the meeting sight, she will not work with the kids so they can do things. My husband has to refuse to send them for them to do any activites that are scheduled by other people that land on her visitation time. She took them three weeks ago and is now refusing to let them come home. My husband has contacted the police departments in her town as well as ours, both have stated that they can do nothing until we get the court paperwork from the judge that she is in contempt of court. I am very worried as the kids told my husband that she is getting a new house. How do I protect the kids and get them back? How do I get the police to see the severity of the situation? It will take some time to fill out al lthe paperwork and get the judge to sign it. What do we do until then?

    • FrknDisgustedBrlngtn

      you dont.
      and why are you writing this instead of dad
      methinks thee protesteth too much
      let Mom love her kids. SHE is the MOM!!!

  • Maggi

    When my ex-husband and I divorced in 1999, I had physical custody of the children, and he was listed as primary residential parent. He ended up getting the children from his mother while they were staying with her over the summer vacation. This was 10 years ago…I have not seen my children since. I have been searching and searching to find my children as he moved from Florida after getting them. I FINALLY found where my children are, but now supposedly his second wife filed for adoption (I never receieved any court documents regarding this) and when they got divorced she was awarded custody. There were 180 reports on file in Leon County Florida for Domestic violence filed by my neighbors–which is why I left him. What legal recourse do I have and how can I get my children back? Any help is appreciated on this..all I want is my babies back!

    • FrknDisgustedBrlngtn

      WHAT~!?? I dont understand
      HOw is that possible?
      If you had legal custody how is it humanly possible if you have been looking for them police? sheriff? courts? systems? huh? This would be CRIMINAL if you had LEGAL CUSTODY of ??HOW MANY KIDS? and would be considered a kidnapping or “MISSING/case
      Go file another case!~!!!!!!!!!! Got fingerprints? Pictures?? Legal Documents? Social Security Numbers? GO GO GO GOGOGOGO NO ONE can adopt your kids if YOU are alive and have custody unless you have been considered menatally unstable,neglectful or abusive or whats that word? abandonment? Research. Do some research. Unless theres something you arent revealing , I sure to hell wouldnt be doing without MY CHILDREN in a million years. Im fighting tooth and nail NOW for them . THEY BELONG WITH ME not their LUNATIC wanna b “dad”

  • I can’t Win 4 losing

    Is summer vacation and reg. visitation scheduling the same? I was giving paper work saying I was to abide be summer vacation sch. untill school resumed in august. We would each have a week for 4 weeks in the summer alternating. His Lawyer made the schedule for him and sent it to my lawyer and said unles I apposed it that is what we would go by, so I agreed. Well come to find out the reason he made the summer sch. is so he would be able to get her each time I had her on my week he had scheduled for me. So I would have to drive her back and forth to him. Well I didn’t understand it at first, It was Fathers Day, and who would keep their child away from the dad. So I said No prob. you are her dad. Next It was memorial day , It was a little aggravated at this point but she wanted to go so I let her go with him. Well The 3rd week came, I had really big plans for us to go to the lake and see a huge fireworks show, go jet sking, cook outs night time fires for smores & marshmellows and hotdogs. Well that Friday in his home town they were putting on a show and a parade. So out of the goodness of my heart I let her stay Friday till Saturday afternoon. I done this so she could spend time with him on 4th of July.(I also let him have her on thanksgiving, christmas and other special events because I want us to be in both of her life even though we no longer are a couple, also so she would never feel like she was picking one or another.) Well as i picked her up on Saturday afternoon, he replied” I will see you guys tomorrow at nine in the morning”, I turned to him and gave him a funny look. He said,” that is my day to have her on the 4th of July according to reg visitation sch. I said, “You know I have had this planned for weeks to go to the lake” and you made this Summer visitation sch. and said you done it so she could go on vacation and bible school on the weeks you choose. YOu have have had her 1 day of each week of my summer weeks. So I will have to call you and let you know something then. Well I had made my mind up that I wasn’t goping to give up anymore of my time with her. I called him at 7 o’clock on 4th of july to let him know She was going to be staying with me. He was furious. I called the police and expland the sit. they said he just had his panies in a bunch or wad and not to worry about it. So we went amongest our day having a great time. I returnred him 2 days later after going grocery shoping and the cops pulled in behind me and arrested me in front of all my neighbors and my family and m9ost of all my children. The handcuffed me like i was some kind of crimnal. I had to stay in jail for 26 hours before bond was set at 2,500 dollars. I used our familys vacation money to do so. I went the next day to file a report againt him. my county said I should never have been arrested and that i would have to go to his county to file a complaint. Which I tried. I went to the police station, clerks office, dispatch office and finally the sherriffs office. No body would do anything for me. As i walked out the door they said you are no better then him if you do the same thing he has done to you. I replied,” I have paper work saying I am suppose to have her this moment and you are telling me there is nothing you will do. YOu didn’t have a prob. letting him fill an eport against me and talking me to jail for 26 hours. I said if you will not help me I WILL CALL 911. As I started to walk out the door they came at me and my friend shouting and screaming with fist in the air. There was 2 off duty police officer sitting on the bench outside as we wisk our self away from the sit. They got on {walk-talkies} and started saying CODES I guess for us to get arrested. Well We went back to our home town and i haven’t seenmy daughter in over3 1/2 weeks. We have joint custody but he has primary custodianship. What can I do. He told me to sign my rights over and he wpould never bother me again… He has been doing stuff like this to me for the past 4 or 5 years when he gained primary custodion. He told me when I left him i was makein the worst mistake of my life, and that I would never have any peace. { this all started when i meet some one else, He tried to get me back then , I told him I was pregnat, and he said he didn’t care we would raise it as our own. I refused and he has tortured and harraised me ever since.. please someone help me!!!!

    • FrknDisgustedBrlngtn

      Dont GIVE UP darlin
      Because thats exactly where he wants you

      I know how you feel, I am right where you are
      But If you let him beat you, then he won. DONT let him kick you while youre down because hes laughing at you while youre hurting. !
      Keep Tryin!

  • johnny

    Can a custodial parent refuse contact with the children from the non-custodial parent for no reason other than he moved states? I do have a court orderd 24 hour stipulation but can not affored a lawyer to help with my rights.

  • JNR

    I live in Virginia and my 3 year old son is visiting his dad in Michigan. Per our divorce, I have sole legal and physical custody with him having “reasonable” visitation. We agreed on 3 weeks this summer and that ends this weekend.

    I have heard from his mom he does not intend on returning my son this weekend, and he will not return my phone calls. (It is also in the decree that the parent shall have phone access at all times to the child.) What can I do? Even though I have sole custody, visitaion times are not spelled out..I can already see him telling the police that it is still his time..ect.. I want my son returned.

  • sherri

    called the law when i found out they were not bring them back to the dad for visit that they were taking them to Montana, the sheriff called them telling them he had in his hands a paper saying i have guardian ship of them do not take them, they said the girls weren’t there , the sheriff was suspicious and went out to home and found them loading the kids in the vehicle and waited for them to pull out fallowing them he stopped them for speeding and seen the girls in back he talked to the girls and told the great grandma once again that i have custody i said no and she said she didn’t care what i said,, the sheriff did not retain them for supplying false information and let them go on, i have called police, FBI, everone and cant seem to get help….

  • rosanna

    My situation is like this my ex boyfriend had custody of my children and he passed away and his mother got custody of them how and what do I have to do to get them back.See it like this they live in Florida and I had to move to South Carolina how can I do everything in South Carolina and it still be valid in Florida?

  • Jason Alessy

    What if the custodial parent continues to plan activities around my court ordered visitation with my daughter intentionally? The child now does not want to go with me because she doesn’t want to miss going to six flags or soccer games, or friends parties. Ironically all of this is occurring during my every month’s visitation. i still go to get my daughter however she is no where around. I go to the police and they end up getting a hold of my daughter. Her being 11, she tells the police she doesn’t want to go with me today because her relatives are now coming up and she doesn’t want to miss them. I figure I’m just gonna have to get her for contempt however now I’m not sure what I can do. This has been going on for months. Her mother even emails lies to me about her concerns for my daughter’s well being when she is with me. This is another way I found she can get out of a contempt charge since my daughter says she doesn’t want to go due to lies from her mother. I don’t now what i can do. Her mother makes up lies in writing to me about her concerns of the child’s well being when she is with me even though its all lies and there is no proof…mediation in the passed has taken us nowhere. what can i do to stop this from happening and get my daughter.

    • FrknDisgustedBrlngtn

      People are so mean!! I have an Ex just like her
      Mine went to the school today and picked up my kids and took them to Minnesota for 10 days on MY Labor Day weekend (already preplanned and paid for/its our court ourdered holiday EVERY year)

      Whispher in her ear you’ll take her to Kings Island and she can take a freind or something else fun one time. Watch her face light up….(or something else she enjoys. Skating? WaterPark?

    • Irelatetothat

      I am a father dealing with the same nonsense. Jason, my question to you is your separation recent? The Mother of my children and I have been separated for almost two years but she has never found any new significant other, consequently I am only dealing with her bitterness and ire.

  • Teri

    The father (never married him) and I established paternitiy/child support in 2000 in Marion County, Fl. On the paperwork it states that I am the custodial parent. My 16 year old has rarely spent time with the NC (non custodial) father. I recently sent him to Fl to visit his father ( I am on the west coast). It has not even been 2 weeks and my 16 y/o says he wants to stay there. The ticket (NC parent bought) is round trip and my 16 y/o is supposed to be back late August; the agreement NC father and I made. NC said that since my child wants to stay in Fl then he will not send him back to me. *My concerns are 1. Does NC have the right to do that being that only paternity/child support (which he’s way behind on) was established and not actual visitation? On my paperwork it does clearly state I am the custodial parent and child physically lives w/ me. 2. Does the fact my child is 16 y/o have any say in the matter? –A little backstory: the NC is a substance abuser (marijuana). My 16 y/o needs a LOT of help w/ school and NC is not the sharpest tool in the shed. I received text messages just recently from another relative living in the same house that I need to “get” my 16 y/o now because NC does drugs every night and every day and goes into fits of rage. I called both NC and his local police dept. By the time the police got to his house everything was okay ( I should not have called NC first to let him know I’d call the police to check him out- in essence, all I did was give him a ‘heads up’ that the police were going to come knocking on his door. Being that NC and my 16 y/o are in Florida and I am on the west coast, what type of action do I need to take? By the way, all of this happened on a Friday evening, so I can really do nothing until Monday which is so very frustrating. (Which is why I am surfing the net and came across this site). Thank you so much for your time.

  • Jenni

    My 4 year old step son’s mother is out of control. There is a court order for visitation but no specified times. The mother thinks its my fiancees responsibility to pick the child up and drop him off even though she lives a mile away and the judge told her she can do one way of transportation. She claims she has no car and its the fathers responsibility to do both ways. Anyone know the state law in Michigan about this if it isn’t in the court order?
    And the mother has a history of violence. My mother in law is pressing charges against his mother for destruction of property and simple assault. She has 2 warrants out for her arrest in Livonia. She also managed to get the child kicked out of pre-school in January 2010 for his absences when she was to take him. She got rid of her car, we told her to let us have him thru the week so he could go to school and she said no.
    The child was seeing a play therapist until early April when she cancelled to take him to another therapist to get the new therapist to write a note stating the child poops his pants bc of his father (which he does the same at our home).
    She also has a rx pill problem. I ran a Meds and found she is getting 3 different scripts from 2 docs for pain meds and depression pills. I need some advice if this is enough evidence to gain custody of the child.

  • Robin

    I have sole custody of my 6 year old son. He went to visit his father for family vaction. His father had emailed me requesting an additional week. His father and I have always agreed to compromise. That extra week was going to do no harm ( so i thought). I told my ex that i would be down on the 6th to get him after his additional week in the response back to him. (again i am nice and if he gives me the money i will drive the 4 hours to get my son). He called on the 4th and asked me if my son could spend the school year with him. I told him no. I reminded him I’d be there on friday the 6th. He said we see about everything and talk. He has never been to my house, even though there is always and open invite for him to see his son. My Ex’s parents havent been here in 2 years, and my family hasnt been here in 4 months. However after i got off the pphone with him on the 4th my sister calls me accusing me of being an alcoholic (not true) and says I need to move down there. (where my ex lives). Random call, since she hadnt called me in over 3 months. I let it go. Friday the 6th comes around i pack my car and other 2 children up to go pick up my son, and i have a voicemail from my ex’s attoney saying that my ex was awarded emergency custody due to endangerment of alcoholism. I dont drink! So I know he had no proof.

  • Ben

    I am in Florida. In March of this year I was contacted by DCFS in Illinois about sexual abuse to my daughter by her mothers husband, I was given custody of my daughter at that time as her mother was charged with neglect. It has since been reversed according to her mother, but I have not been notified by DCFS or the courts and the mother is now requesting that I return our daughter as in our divorce decree she has primary residence. She is threatening to take legal action if I do not return her, my daughter who is soon to be 15 wishes to remain with me. Do I have to return my daughter? What action can I take to allow her to remain in my custody?

    • Jenni

      You do not have to return her unless the courts have served you. And they can not conduct a hearing without notifying both parties. Your daughter is old enough to say in court who she wants to reside with.

  • Frustrated in AZ

    Have joint custody. Have court ordered visitation for 5 specific weeks in the summer. Mother has primary custody in CA (where the court order was issued). Mother failed to put child on plane to AZ and sent email she would not send her in addition she has been denying court ordered webcam visits. I filed for contempt of court against mother. What should I expect at the hearing? and would I be justified in asking for a motion to change custody?

  • NINO


  • kelsey

    I (Mother) have custody of my son, just recently my sons father gave me 30 day notice for his vacation time but i have family coming in to town that doesnt see our son very m uch the time he wants to take him i suggested another weekend besides that one but he said he wanted that weekend now he gave me a paper stating that if i didnt comply with his request he was going to notify the courts that i am in violation of the court order.

  • Joy

    Is there a new law that was passed in July 2010 that says unmarried parents who are not living together that which ever parent earns the most income shall compensate the other? They have joint custody with the Father having primary custody and full financial responsibility. The mother is on welfare and is now suing the father for full custody and child support. Now we hear that after living together for 6 years and she decided to move out last Dec., that she is entitled to compensation. The father bought her a car, paid 3 months for an apartment for her besides taking care of his little boys financial needs and also making sure the visitation was agreeable with the mother! Please let us know what this new law is all about????

  • Marisol

    My 17 year old daughter began spending a lot of time at my dad’s house. My older sister lives there as well and spoils my daughter and encourages her to ‘babysit’ my elderly father while she goes out with friends and on trips.
    Now my daughter refuses to come home.
    I have sole physical and legal custody of all of my kids.
    Any advice?

  • Patrick

    I have joint-custody of my daughter. I am the custodial parent and her mother refuses to return her. the police won’t enforce the order. they say it is a civil mater. i know there are ways to file to have them enforced but can’t find the forms. I have a lawyer filing contempt order but he is dragging his feet and hasn’t returned my call. It has been 10 days already and will be over a mth before this is resolved I would like to get her back before that. what is the best way?

    • jnr

      Patrick- Good luck with the papers.. (go to the courthouse and ask the clerk for the forms you need.) I just did that to get my 3 year old back. It took almost 3.5 weeks to get him back b/c you have to file them, then serve your ex, then get a court date. I was going out of my mind for those 3.5 weeks. To top it off, it cost me $2500 in a lawyer as I had just started a new job and did not have time off to do the paperwork myself. (Plus I felt it was to risky not to have legal representation.) I had to file a motion for return of the child. (It was not a contempt of court b/c our custody agreement said liberal visitation even though I had primary physical and sole legal.)

      Needless to say, visitation will not occur again until we resolve the visitation schedule to be exact dates and have an enabling clause for law enforcement if neccessary. I will not make that costly mistake again. My son was very upset and keeps telling me he would cry at daddy’s and want to come home but daddy would say no. When I showed up he hugged me and wouldn’t let go..not even to hug his step siblings or dad goodbye. All he kept saying is “I want to go home to Virginia”. I think it was rediculous to make a 3 year old wait almost 4 weeks for a hearing. The first week home he refused to talk to his dad on the phone and would curl up in a ball when I would put his dad on speaker phone and try to get him to say hi. Now that he knows he is home and not going anywhere he will talk to him again.

      I just don’t understand how you can keep a child away from the only home they have ever known and think it is not going to hurt them. Had his dad ever made an attempt to visit him here, maybe he wouldn’t be so scared..but he will not put forth the effort and then wants a 3 year old to be happy to come and stay for months at a time with practicly a stranger (He only sees him at Christmas and summer when I bring him to Michigan).

      When he picked him up from my parents, my son ran in terror into their house..screaming and crying that he did not want to he just strong armed him into the car. My mom said she will never again have his dad pick him up from her house b/c she felt like she was the worst person in the world when he was crying for grandma to keep him because he did not want to go.

    • FrknDisgustedBrlngtn

      JNR i feel ya
      My X takes mine every holiday…..and weekend, I barley have seen mine all summer! After raising mine 6 days a week for 10 years he suddenly decided he needed farm labor….except hes always took them at random on holidays and not returned them of course his momma had christmas he never did.
      I went to the school to pick them up for our Labor Dayu drive to my folks (5 hours away ) and find out he had picked them up YESTERDAY (he had them from yesterday from my house from school) and took them to MINNESOTA!!!! 15 hours away!!!! I AM TICKED!!! I have to hire an attorney another prob couple thousand…ive already spent 22,000 in 10 years on this jerk for what? ? Why ? IF they cant do anything why do we have a decree? it makes no sense. THE USA LAW IS A FRAUD

  • Amber

    I lost custody of my now 10 year old daughter in April 2007. I had moved out of state without permission. In the last 10 years, I have had to call CPS 3 times for accusations made to me by my daughter of physical abuse by her step-mother, her unusual behavior and describing ‘sex’ acts she had seen. (?) Out of all 3 of these investigations I received letters stating that ‘no evidence was found.’ On several occasions I have also, within the past 2 years, had to call our local Sherriff to order my ex to obey the court order for my weekend and summer visitations . My daugther’s Principle has also had to contact the Sherriff because I came to the school to pick up my daughter on my schedueled court ordered visitation and my ex was there to stop me from doing so, stating that it was Halloween and he wanted her. Because Halloween is not a State Holiday and is not in our Court Documents, I was given my daughter for that weekend. I have taken my ex to court 2 times within the 3 three years. Once because I was not allowed to have my daughter for my court ordered summer visitation, (I filed this motion on my own) the judge ordered us to go to Mediation, we did so and I won my case. The secound time was because they wouldn’t allow my daughter to ride the school bus to my home. After attempting to Mediate, to no avail, the judge ordered my daughter to be allowed to ride the bus to my home on my court ordered visitation days and weekends. I have finally HAD ENOUGH!! On my last visitation, 2 weeks ago, I had to, yet again, contact the Sherriffs office because my daughter’s step-mother had taken my daughter out of town (knowing ofcourse that it was my weekend). The Deputy contacted my ex at work and ordered him to have my daughter back right away. After 4 hours I was on my way home with my daughter for my weekend visitation with her. However, she spoke to me in such a tone as she had never done before, screaming at me that I “ruin everything” because she and her step-mother were going to stay at a hotel and were going swimming! She also screamed at me that I was a “liar!” My daughter and I have always been very, very close. Now, it’s as though she does not want to be around me! I filed a Motion to change custody 2 months ago. Today I received (from a different judge than we’ve had in the past) an Order Denying Prima Facie Case For Evidentiary Hearing. CPS has also been called by my ex, stating that I have told my daughter to lie, am calling the Sherriff went it is not necessary and abusing CPS. My daughter had previously told a CPS worker that had come to my home this last summer (after I called them) the same thing she had told me, my husband, both of my sons, her aunt, grandmother, cousins and 2 of my friends. This was that she (her step-mother) spits in her face, slaps her face and hits her with objects. Again, I received a letter stating that no evidence of obuse was found. Now, my ex has called CPS, accusing me of telling my daughter to lie. And now my daughter is telling CPS that she lied and that her step-mother never hit her! I have gone online and found a man (also a police officer) that gives Polygraph tests. I know that they are not admissable in court. However, CPS has agreed to accept it. The bottom line here is this: With all that has happened in the last few years, why did this judge deny my motion? And what should I do now? My daughter desperately needs help, but no one seems to care. She needs to get out of that house! I have no idea what she is being told (this I am sure is for the most part her step-mother) or what is happening with her. I don’t sleep and I am terrified of what will happen if she remains with her father. Thank you so very much for your prompt time and consideration.

    • FrknDisgustedBrlngtn

      My Heart goes out to you!!!! I so so so feel you
      I almost feel your heart beating in mine
      My 13 year old daughter comes from her Daddys house the Princess her sweet smile downturned, into a skowl, her attitude so hateful to me, her sweet tender touch jerking away from me ….i dote on her every move, i spoil them both rottten, (hes 11 and loves electonics)…hes not quites so bad but hes turning from sweet Mommy boy into selfish selfcentered me me me daddy. it hurts my heart

    • Rita

      Im so very sorry,and this is just yet another example of the system failing you.You just keep on fighting,I was told,get as many police reports as possible,your child could be appointed a lawyer and heard in court.My son is only 9 years ols and thats my next step….I sympathize with you,and I understand how horrible it is worrying for your childs safety..Please just dont ever give up!

  • U’ve made some decent pts in this post. I lookeed on d net for this and found most pple wil consent with your perspective.

  • Kim

    My uncle was awarded sole custody of his 5 year old son and mother was awarded supervised visitation. The court appointed her boyfriend as the person to supervise the visits. It has come to our attention that when his son is with the mother and boyfriend they are fighting in front of the child. He refused to let him go with the mother and she called the police on him. Now they are saying he could be charged. What can he do if he feels that his child is not safe with them?

  • Jim


    I have joint 50/50 custody with the mother of my 4 year old son. She attempted suicide 3 weeks ago, and did not take her custody time with our son since then, which was fine by me. However, the reason she gave for not taking him was her “cancer treatments” and “she had the flu”. She took him for the first time yesterday and says she’s taking him at her alloted time Monday. I don’t think it’s safe for him to be with her. Can I legally keep him?

    • Rita

      I was issued a citation for Interference,when I went to court it was have to have some proof of her suicide attempt though.

  • Rita

    I have joint custody with my sons father.I have interupted his visitation twice brfore due to his current wife trying to commit suicide in their house.My child was not there at the time but I was issued two citations.I went to court and they were thrown out.Yesterday I had to interupt again due to a threat that my sons father made to my son.He told him two days before his visitation weekend that he was going to come over and beat his ass.My ex is an alcoholic and I have many motions and judgements set forth in out custody papaers to where he is not allowed to drink at all when my child is there.also the wife is not to be present.Yesterday I told the police upon them calling WHY I felt it was unsafe for my child to go to his regular scheduled visitation.They disagreed with me and demanded I dress the child and get him ready ,and that they would be over to pick him up.when they got here they said to my son get your shoes on ,he started crying and was hysterical,he ran and locked himself in the bathroom and wouldnt come out.The police office continued to harass me with threats of going to jail.he said I have two choices,your going to jail or your going to jail and your son will still go with his father.after I aasked to speak with a supervisor ,he had another tune,he decided to issue me a citation instaed and apologized for his bad presence.I felt visibly shaken,my son was absolutelt hysterical for an hour afterwards.he said I didnt know what do to mommy,I didnt want to go to daddy cause he would hit me and I didnt want you to go to jail…Please someone tell me first of all if this is even an arrestable issue or was the cop just strong arming me.second are cops allowed to torture a child and myself to any degree?

  • Jenny

    My ex has sole custody and guardianship, although I do not know why the court gave the natural father guardianship. I have a criminal background although I am doing good now and have been clean for two years. My ex refuses to let me see our 13 yr. old son. He will contact me, tell me I can see him, and then three days before I am going to drive 400 miles to see him he tells me no. He even has gone so far as to tell my probation officer that if I go see my son he will have me arrested. If I DO NOT take my son out of the county where he lives, do not tresspass on his fathers property and my son WANTS to see me, can he stop the visit? There is no order saying I can’t see my son, the judge left it up to my ex. Can he really have me arrested just for spending time with my son?

  • Mik

    I have sole custody of my daughter, There is no court ordered visitation for the non custodial parent. Will I be in legal violation if I keep the father from seeing my daughter due to his neglectful behavior?

    • Jenni

      If you have sole custody, and no court order, then you make the decision.

  • Aaron

    If you are married, your spouse went to visit family in another state, then refused to come back and let me see the children. What are my rights?

  • jknopp5258

    Hi. My son is 6 years old and I have joint custody with his father. I am supposed to have visitation and be part of his healthcare and education. Just recently he has moved him to another county, another school, and another address without telling me. I found out through my mother. Is this custodial interference? Because he attempted this once before by taking him to the other side of this country and the judge ordered that he not take my child out of the county (or state) again. He does not have sole custody. Can I get physical custody if he took him unlawfully? when is it considered kidnapping?

  • Franklin Randall Bai

    In 1991 my husband went through a divorce before we got back together. In the divorce my husbands ex wanted them to put in the divorce that he would never contact her or anyone in her family ever again. In response my husband had them have her sign an affidavit saying that there were no children between the two of them. We found out about five years later there was a child and the child was already born when the affidavit was signed. Before the divorce was even final. But we thought we were gonna handle this like adults. We saw the child (Dylan) about 4 times and gave her mom a check each time we saw her. Her mother then decided to not let my husband (Randy) ever see her again and hand wrote a letter to tell us that. A few years of trying to find her we got a letter from the courts saying that we owed the state for child support because she had received government help and named him as the father. We went to court for four years over and over again before she finally showed up. Claiming she was ill and that’s why she didn’t show. I was on Chemo Therapy and I showed at every court date. There was never a warrant for her. Randy had hired a lawyer and asked first for visitation. After four years she had done nothing about visitation. So Randy fired her and got a court appointed attorney. She also says she can’t get him visitation. Now the child is 18 almost 19 and we still don’t see her. Her mother has convinced her that Randy is an awful person. One time we ran out of court after her just so he could tell her he loves her and she acted like he was a monster. Now the courts want us to pay 40,000 dollars to a woman who has hide the child all these years. I have been married to Randy for 18 years and he has been a wonderful father. She has put this whole family through hell over this. She has put Randy in jail 3 times. The last time in court we came in with 600.00 and the judge said she was gonna keep him for the other 620.00. When I had my check book and could have written a check for the 620.00. They told me to go and wait until he was transported to the jail and then I could get him out. It was 10 till 4pm when they said he was there. He was not released until10:30pm. And come to find out all I had to do is take the money orders to the court and they would have released him but his lawyer told me to do otherwise. She is not helping him at all and I wonder how long she has been a lawyer because she doesn’t seam to know much. But, this is the way he has been treated the whole time. The judge just recently realized he had never gotten visitation. We requested visitation for four years with one lawyer and for another three year with another lawyer. Neither of which has even told us what to do. Even the judge. Is this justice? No! Is it legal for one parent to kidnap a child from the other parent and refuse to let them see each other? No! What have we done wrong? Why are we being punished for what she did?
    We can not afford what we have been told it will cost to get this corrected and justice be served. And Legal Aide will not help us.

  • Randy

    In 1991 my husband went through a divorce before we got back together. In the divorce my husbands ex wanted them to put in the divorce that he would never contact her or anyone in her family ever again. In response my husband had them have her sign an affidavit saying that there were no children between the two of them. We found out about five years later there was a child and the child was already born when the affidavit was signed. Before the divorce was even final. But we thought we were gonna handle this like adults. We saw the child (Dylan) about 4 times and gave her mom a check each time we saw her. Her mother then decided to not let my husband (Randy) ever see her again and hand wrote a letter to tell us that. A few years of trying to find her we got a letter from the courts saying that we owed the state for child support because she had received government help and named him as the father. We went to court for four years over and over again before she finally showed up. Claiming she was ill and that’s why she didn’t show. I was on chemo therapy and I showed at every court date. There was never a warrant for her. Randy had hired a lawyer and asked first for visitation. After four years she had done nothing about visitation. So Randy fired her and got a court appointed attorney. She also says she can’t get him visitation. Now the child is 18 almost 19 and we still don’t see her. Her mother has convinced her that Randy is an awful person. One time we ran out of court after her just so he could tell her he loves her and she acted like he was a monster. She even went to Randy’s mother and told her that Dylan didn’t have grandparents now and she wanted Randy’s mother to have a relationship with Dylan but she didn’t want Randy to see her.

    Now the courts want us to pay 40,000 dollars to a woman who has hide the child all these years. I have been married to Randy for 18 years and he has been a wonderful father. She has put this whole family through hell over this. She has put Randy in jail 3 times. The last time in court we came in with 600.00 and the judge said she was gonna keep him for the other 620.00. When I had my check book and could have written a check for the 620.00. This is just an example of the way we have been treated. Randy can not work right now and has been out of work since February and has the papers from the doctor to prove it. She stood up in court and stomped her foot and wanted to know why he could not go to work at McDonald’s or Pizza Hut! Its like they totally ignored the fact that he has one heck of a ruptured disc that he hasn’t been able to get surgery on because his insurance was cut off. It will be reinstated on Nov.1st and he sees the surgeon on Nov.5th to schedule surgery. Because of this delay in him getting surgery he may have permanent nerve damage, we will not know until after surgery. But, right now he is in too much pain to even stand more than five min.

  • Randy

    They told me to go and wait until he was transported to the jail and then I could get him out. It was 10 till 4pm when they said he was there. He was not released until10:30pm. And come to find out all I had to do is take the money orders to the court and they would have released him but his lawyer told me to do otherwise. She is not helping him at all and I wonder how long she has been a lawyer because she doesn’t seam to know much. But, this is the way he has been treated the whole time. The judge just recently realized he had never gotten visitation. We requested visitation for four years with one lawyer and for another three year with another lawyer. Neither of which has even told us what to do. Even the judge.

    Is this justice? No! Is it legal for one parent to kidnap a child from the other parent and refuse to let them see each other? No! What have we done wrong? Why are we being punished for what she did?
    We can not afford what we have been told it will cost to get this corrected and justice be served. And Legal Aide will not help us.

  • Phillips

    There has been petitions and responses filed in my state (New Mexico). The only order issued by a judge is an order to attend mediation (since intitial filing I have yet to sit in front of a judge). My ex-girlfriend refuses to let me see my son until a final court determination is set by a judge. According to NM statute 30-4-4 this is custodial interference even in the absence of a court order. She uses her petition and shows it to police and tells them that it grants her sole custody until court hearings are complete and they accept it and ordered me to giver her the child and also ordered me not to contact her asking to see the baby without issuing me anything in writing. Then when i went to press charges for custodial interference with the state police they ran my ID and a warrant had been issued without me ever being served a single document or complaint for phone harrasment because i had preveiously texted her and asked if i could see my son. I’m emotionally exhausted and don’t know what to do. I make enough money to not qualify for legal aid while not being able to afford an attorney. All i want in the world is to see my son even if for a minute but she won’t allow it. What do I do?

    • SharonKay

      Get a mediator. (Phone book or court referral is a start on learning about how this works. Their fees are typically set by court, so it’s not like hiring an attorney.) Set a date. Then mediate. Include visitation issues. Then together draft a reasonable plan for a regular schedule that takes into account the age of the child, etc. Sign document and it becomes a court order. You might request regular short visits to start, then agree that at a certain age, these turn into overnite stays.

  • lilly

    I am the legal and residencial custodian of my 3yrs old daughter, her dad has been giving parent right, she has to sleep over his house every other weekend,and also see her every wednesday, My question is, does this mean he has shared parenting with me, and also do i need child services to inspect his home, to ensure my proper accomondation for the child? Will i be in toruble if i cancel her sleep overs till i have his house/ apartment is inspected? this wasn’t included in the court ruling, so what measures can i take, to ensure, my child’s safety?

    • Jenni

      Yes, he does have parenting time. You can request the court for a home inspection. If you hold visits from her father, he can file contempt against you and the court will grant him make-up visits for parenting time lost.

  • eileen

    My ex and his new wife have a child of thier own. She comes up with excuses periodically to prevent my son from seeing his father. My son is 12 they’re son is a year old. Can she be charged with custodial interference?

  • jody from miami

    i have 5o 5o custody or time sharing, court ordered. my husband will not bring me my daughter and if i go get her he tells me she dosnt want to b with me. this is court ordered wit child support. he has taken her from me not to have to pay me. do i call the police and make a scene or believe in the system at trial, dec 9

    • Jenni

      The police are not able to do anything. They say its a civil matter. I suggest you document everything. From phone calls, texts, the days its your parenting time and you dont see your child. Take it all with you to court showing you have evidence that you are not able to see your child because of the other parent. Make sure you have a parenting time order with days and times also (include holidays & birthdays). If the other parent keeps holding the child from you, file a contempt motion. If enough of these motions get filed, the court will see red flags & possibly change custody.

  • Brenda

    I need to know what my ex husband can do if anything if i have moved. We have joint custody i have physical custody and he has visitation, he has not excersized his visitation in three years or had any contact with the children in the last 3 months. I am suppose to share information with him but here in lies the problem He will not give me or the children any contact information for him He contacts them on and off every 3 to six months. We moved and i had no contact information for him. I did contact child support enforcement and his grandma and gave each of them my contact inofrmation and consent to pass the infromation along to my ex. I was just wondering what he could do about it?

    • Jenni

      He could petition the court, and the court could tell you that you can only live within a 100 mile radius of him. But since he has not seen the children, bring that to court (have specific days & times documented where he missed his parenting time). Keep documentation of everything, and he may have his visitation rights terminated.

  • Nereida Ioime

    Once you have been charged and found guilty of custodiaol interference can you receive joint legal custody of your child? How can you meet this objective in the state of ct.

  • Brandon Rosenow

    I was wondering that if my Ex and I have Joint Legal Custody if she can change daycare without me knowing and then tell me afterwards and is this vialating my custody rights? And is this a form of custodial interferance?

  • Tamecha

    I have two bi-racial kids. Their father lives with his parents. His mother doesnt like me and degrades me to them. She calls me the N-word to them. She questions them about who I am dating and who keeps them while I am at work. As for who keeps them she already knows this. But to punish them is completely unfair to them because they wont tell her my personal business!! They get yelled at and placed in time-out for 30 mins at a time. My nine year doesnt want to go anymore because she says it makes her feel bad to hear her grandmother call me that and she doesnt like being punished all the time. He has visitation rights and has threatened to take me to court if I dont make them come!! What am I supposed to do?? I feel bad for them, and I dont want to send them. But I dont want to end up in jail if they cant make that decision on their own to not want to go!!! But I feel like that are being emotionally and mentally abused!!

  • Jodi

    What if you are the non-costodial parent? Can a costodial parent not give you access to your child with a court order of visitation? If they don’t place a child on a plane on the designated date of the order when they always had before?

  • Danesha

    My chidren’s father filed for joint custody as the custodial parent because he was keeping the children while i worked in another city for about 3 or 4 months. I have raised my two children since birth and never relinquished my parental rights. The joint custody papers were mailed to me and they had the wrong lastname on the visitation and child support aggreement so can this order be appealed in order for me to be the custodial parent since the children do live with me eventhough we have joint custody?

    • Jenni

      Look into your state guidelines to see if you can appeal. Here in Michigan, there can be joint custody, but whomever the minor resides with most, is the custodial parent. In most states, joint custody is not both being a custodial parent. Joint custody, is 50/50 physical and legal, therefore keeping the noncustodial parent in the loop, such as schooling, doctors, behavior, etc. The noncustodial parent does have a say in those areas, and the court can enfore those things. I hope this will help you get started.

  • shinobi

    I live in Alaska and I am the custodial parent of my 3 year old son, he has lived with me since he was born an when his mom an I split she had her mom kidnap him I got him back in 2008 I have temp custody. the courts have given me temp custody about 3 or 4 times an child services has done the same once.our case has been going on since 2008, but what can I do to end it all fast since she keeps changing the time that she is coming to pick him up (every time)she starts fights an so does her boyfriend, on 12/28/10 I had to call the cops because they showed up 2 hours early an tried to make their way into my home by force. I have filed child abandonment papers against her and allot of other papers and she is using an attorney that she has been to court against .ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP. thanks

  • Al’s mom

    Im still married but working towards a divorce soon. My husband said that even if we are married and I take the child out of the house (even just for coffee around the corner) without his consent or without him knowing where we are he can charge me with kidnapping and abandonment. Is this true? I know it sounds like a stupid question but I want to be sure that he cant take my child away from me. thank you!

    • Ariana’s Nanny

      Your hubby is a moron, honey! Unless he has a court order stating that HE has sole physical and legal custody, you can take your child wherever you want, whenever you want! Good luck!

  • My daughter is 13 (or will be in 30 days) and I’m the non-custodial father. I live in New Hampshire, but the mother left the marital home with my daughter and relocated to Florida.

    My daughter is consistently left at home alone unsupervised by my ex 5 to 6 days out of the week, My daughter hates it down there in Florida, and wants to remain here with myself and her brother (split custody).

    She is traumatized by the prospect of going back to Florida, and refuses to get on the plane. There’s always an adult present at my home so she would not be unsupervised.

    Despite many attempts, The ex refuses to discuss the matter. She does not care that our daughter is troubled about living in Florida and just wants me to “put her on the plane”.

    I, in all good conscience, cannot force my daughter to return to Florida anymore. But I fear running afoul of “Custodial Interference” and where this may lead.

    I intend to petition the court on this matter, and maybe even contact local law enforcement to give them a “heads up” on what’s going on. What are my chances of a positive outcome? A negative one? I feel the daughter is in constant imminent danger of some creep taking advantage of the situation. Do I have a chance here? Or am I doomed to failure?

  • bonnie

    im in ohio

    i have custody of my 8 yr old son my ex husband asked a few weeks ago if he could take our son to disney over christmas break (it was my year for christmas) my son was excited about disney so i agreed .he was supposed to be back sunday evening the ex called suday saying he wouldnt be able to get back untill monday morning that turned into monday night now its tuesday morning.if this turns into some other time do i have an legal avenues? police ? courts? he has visitation but not for this

  • Lioness

    How about this: I was granted an order for protection against my son’s father (we were never married) after he assaulted me with a gun while telling me about these pyschotic dreams he had of killing me and he also raped me. I was granted the order and he was allowed supervised visitation with our son (while his mom was supposed to supervise).
    About a week after the order was granted, he and his mom took my son from daycare and refused to return him to me. I called the police multiple times and he was finally returned to me about 13 hours later.
    After the first visitation, my son was only 4 at the time, he came home and called me all kinds of foul names, spit on me, punched me, and told me of various and graphic ways that his dad was going to kill me.
    Then 2 weeks after my P.O. was granted, my ex-boyfriend filed for full custody and support of our son (even though he was ordered to pay child support through the protection order); as well as filing to get my protection order dropped.
    I had to take my son to counseling because he began to wet the bed, have terrible nightmares, and behavioral problems. Finally, I ended up moving to another town about 1 hour away and when I went back to my house to get the rest of my belongings, my ex was there and had destroyed my things and threw my personal items out into the driveway.
    I got an attorney and she never even showed up to court after I paid her over 3 grand. I had to get another attorney that turned out to be a complete A-hole and was incompetent as can be. He even told me that the opposing attorney, the judge, and even he thought I was crazy!
    I also had to make several reports to CPS and the cops. The first report I made to CPS was because my son said his dad was letting him sleep in bed with him and 3 of his girlfriends watching them have sex. You know what CPS told me? That even though it was “inappropriate, it was not illegal”, you have to be freaking kidding me. Indiana my dear friends, go figure.
    I called the cops to report violation of my protection order repeatedly. Specifically, to let my son tell them that his dad had threatened to “write your name in blood all over the walls” and on another occasion, that his dad intended to wreck me off the side of the road when we had visitation exchange, stab me, cut off my eyelids, cut out my tongue so “no one could hear you [me] scream” and then kidnap my son so no one could find him. In addition to that, my son’s school even called the police to make a report because they feared for his life and my own.
    About 1 year later, my son told me that his dad’s girlfriend had molested him. I had to call Sheriff’s Department and they told me to find out where this woman lived because they couldn’t find her…Bloomington IN everyone, watch out! I drove my son down there and he showed me where the little *$!@ lived and I told police. I also called CPS again and they did a joint investigation. They decided to unsubstantiate because there was an “ongoing custody battle”.
    After that, I started getting calls from my son’s school weekly, stating that he was beating his head up against his desk until he knocked himself out or running into a brick wall to knock himself out because no one believed him that he was molested. After my son reported this incident, he came home from visitations with his dad beaten and bruised every time; telling me that now his dad was threatening to kill him too.
    Eventually, I called CPS again and made a report because my son said his dad was covering his face with a pillow so he couldn’t breathe and choking him “until he saw black”; as well as punching him in his stomach and “private area”. CPS decided it was still safe for him to visit with his dad and when I went to pick him up from visitation, he had two black eyes and bruises head to toe. His dad told me he’d had a bike accident. My son wouldn’t even talk and during the hour long drive back home, he sat in the backseat looking dazed and completely out of it, refusing to talk. Finally, when he did talk, he sounded as if he had laryngitis. He told me that his dad had “choked”, beaten him, and burned him with a cigarette on his stomach. I called CPS and reported this incident and took my son to the emergency room. The E.R. docs took pictures and told me my son had been strangled. They urged me to keep my meeting with CPS the following day and the doctor informed me that he would send the pics and medical record to the CPS office.
    The following day, we met with a CPS investigator and when we were ready to leave, he informed me that my child didn’t have any injuries except those which were consistent with the bicycle wreck his dad claimed he had been in; as well as that his dad had accidently flicked a cigarette at him and it had burned through his shirt and onto his stomach.
    I took the case to my pos attorney and filed an emergency petition to stop visitation. The judge who heard it called the E.R. staff to see if they could prove the burn on my son’s stomach was from a cigarette. They couldn’t prove it, yet stated what my son had told them. The fact that my son had been strangled was totally disregarded.
    My ex and I were ordered into mediation wherein he was allowed to come to my son’s extracurricular activities and call my son on the phone whenever he felt like it. He would come 2 times a week to my son’s sports practice and he would follow me out into the parking lot every time harassing me and threatening me to drop my protection order. He would call on the phone and want to talk to me, constantly asking who I was dating, trying to tell me who I could date, and making my life more a hell than it already was, he rarely called to talk to his son. I stopped taking his calls and he had me in court every time for contempt because I hadn’t answered the phone when he felt like it.
    Also, he brought me to court one week because my father had died and I didn’t feel like driving my son to visit on the same day because I was a torn up mess about my father. In addition to that, I got accused of “making false allegations of abuse” and was told by the court that I would go to jail if I didn’t stop.
    I endured this for a few more years, taking into account that I didn’t receive court order child support except for a total of about one year…$50 a week. Every time I went to pick up my son from visitation, I had to “talk about our son” with my abuser or he would threaten another contempt of court hearing on me, but we rarely talked about our son.
    In addition to that, there were numerous times when he wouldn’t return my son to custody as scheduled, including a time when he decided to keep him for summer vacation, unbeknownst to me, and I had to go to the cops asking for my son back, they said it was a civil matter and wouldn’t deal with it.
    Once, I went to pick up my son and his dad drop-kicked a puppy across the street for chewing up his shoe. The following visitation weekend, my son tried to take the puppy home in his bag to save it. The next visitation, my ex came through the window trying to strangle me. My son said he’d beat on him the entire weekend. My son begged me not to take him back to visit his “dad”. He’d begged me many times before and I was so fed up that I didn’t take him back.
    I denied visitation for 3 years now and found out that they gave custody to this psycho (who is also a person of interest in an unsolved homicide case that was related to drugs, mind you and he is one of the biggest cocaine dealers in his town, btw) and I am being charged with custodial interference.
    Oh yeah, my son and I are getting counseling with a domestic violence shelter, and he recently reported that he was sleeping in bed with his dad and his 3 girlfriends, all at the same time! The counselor reported it to CPS and they said there was nothing wrong with this. WTF! Indiana is full of a bunch of crazy, inbred, incest morons, that’s why they think there is nothing wrong with this.
    Not to mention my poor mom, she is harassed and stalked by my ex and his entire family. My ex came with his psycho aunt to my mom’s neighborhood, posting wanted posters for my son and I, with his number to call if anyone had seen us…like we are dogs. He also stalks my poor mom constantly (who also has a restraining order against him) and was looking in her house with binoculars this past week. PSYCHO STALKER and I am the one being charged? I feel for ya’all, even the fathers that are trying to be good men to their kids…I wish with all my breath that my son had a father like that. Best of luck to every one and keep on keeping on.

  • US Serviceman

    I have a question and a pressing issue at hand.

    I live in North Carolina. Married, 4yr old son and baby on the way, I’m a military man. I have a 7 yr old son from an earlier relationship. His mother is a US Citizen but originally born in Liberia Africa. I relocated to NC from Washington; she lives in Portland Oregon also where my son was born. I’m on the birth certificate, paid child support to her all his life but not through state or court appointed channels. When he was 3 I tried and she refused child support from the child support division so they closed my case. We have no custody paper work established in the court of law. She has screwed me over time and time again with visitation and frankly made it a living hell just to be a part of his life. I lived in Tacoma Washington 2yrs and been to more of his school function than her living in the same city with my son. I would drive there 2 weekends a month to spend time with him. Summers and vacations when me and her weren’t fighting he would come and stay with me. She works fulltime and goes to school full time… my son basically lives with his grandparents and his best friend from school.

    She has family that just moved back to Liberia summer of 2010 and she has on more than one occasion made the verbal threat of sending him there. Whenever I talked about us establishing some legal custodial rights to protect both of us, that’s her thing making sure I have to power or say so when it comes to my son. She has done this to me for the last 7 yrs.

    So this Christmas break it was a miracle but his grandmother flew him here to spend the break with me. I paid for his ticket to come and purchased his return and my 2way to take him and come back. All this just so she would allow him to come. After we had already made similar arrangements for thanksgiving but the day he was to leave she got mad and pulled some crazy attitude started a verbal altercation and said he ain’t coming. But for Christmas he gets here to NC early December. He has been pleading and begging with me since he got here to let him stay. I canceled our plane tickets this morning. For the past week her mother has been calling harassing me about her child support for December, which I explained to her I am no longer paying. I told her I resubmitted the paper work to the Oregon child support division to have them take the support from me and pay her, because I’m tired of dealing with her and the games and BS. So her mother said he isn’t coming to see me any more if I want to see him come to Portland. And my son’s mother has already said if I take her to court she’ll just send him to Liberia. He was supposed to be back today. I informed her early in the morning east coast time that I wasn’t bringing him today. I have explained that he will return once we have all the custody paper submitted and signed by a judge, visitation squared away or me getting full custody for him to stay here. I got him enrolled into school today he starts tomorrow. He has his own room here; I have a 4bdrm house in a good neighborhood. I mean I could go on and on what I can offer my child here, but I guess I can save that for the judge. But most importantly he can have his father and a family, and not his grandparents 5days a week, his best friend’s dad and family every evening after school and his mom 2 days out of the week, me full time. I was there more than her when I lived in Washington.

    What are my rights? Did I do the right thing by not sending him back? Legally what do I need to do first to protect myself? And secondly what do I need to do to get the custody process started the fastest? Is there a way to get the court system here in NC to exercise jurisdiction over my son with him being here just under a month? Am I at risk legally for arrest for kidnapping or how close to what I’ve done am I to custodial/non-custodial interference? What can be enforced since there is no appointed custody? And if anything can at this point which state holds jurisdiction over enforcing that rule Oregon or North Carolina?

    • Ariana’s Nanny

      If there was no custody agreement, she can’t do anything about you keeping him in NC. I hope by now you’ve taken care of that! I wouldn’t let him go with her again until you have legal custody in NC. Even then, I’d watch her like a hawk because she may just be crazy enough to take him out of the country. Good luck!

  • number1dad

    I have a question, me and my ex have no parenting plan in place, we have agreed times of visitation i have had the majority of time like 70-30
    my ex wife(not divorced yet) is refusing to give my daughter back, its been 3 days after our scheduled time. i need any help i can get.. is this legal, what can i do to get my daughter back? i cant stand being away from her like this

    • Proud Father

      I am not sure what will happen if you try this, but explain to her that if the agreement is not met completely, then you are going to have to get the courts involved. I know that the courts are biased toward fathers and I am not sure how it will turn in your favor, but something needs to be done. Fathers should NOT be deprived of their children. Fathers play an important role with their children’s lives.

      Think about how you would use the courts and make sure you have documentation. Good luck and may God bless you and help you with your decision.

  • kristi

    where did you get these orders or rights for phone calls? My ex and I divorced 6 years ago, They have always had a cell that I provided in order for him to call them or them to call him anytime they want. MY oldest is turning 13 and decided he wanted to live with his dad. Hes been gone a week. They took the cell phone from him as they were leaving my driveway it has been off since. They WILL not let him have the phone I pay for and REFUSE to answer my calls to speak to him. Even threatning to change their phone numbers. How do I get to at least check in on my baby? Im not asking for excessive…. just a txt saying “have a great day I love you” in the AM and a “How was your day?” call in the evening. Ive had to go from constant 24 7 contact and carre to NO contact except my court ordered visits once a month (we live more than 100 mi apart) How can they keep me from speaking to him when it costs them NOTHING and I have NO DESIRE to leave messages on their phones any more than they want to recieve them………….. Please HELP

  • mom2three

    Interference with Child Custody

    I have Sole custody of daughter (5), Father has only visitation, everytime a holiday falls on a monday he thinks its his right to keep her until mon @ 6pm. Parenting plan only outlines major holidays as we didnt agree on yearly minor ones. Tonight he did this for 2nd time. We are in Crawford County, Ga which doesnt know there own State laws so I took the liberty of looking them up. Last time this happened the officer told me he wasnt going to enforce the order and nothing happened, this time i advised them i wanted to file a police report according to O.C.G.A 16-5-45(B)(1)(C) and demanded an escort to retrieve child which two officers refused and one obliged, went to get child she was conveniently with paternal grandma, officers told ncp to show up at 9pm with child and i have her finally after 3.5 hours of pussyfooting!! My question is can i file charges for interference with custody even after she was returned?? O.C.G.A doesnt go into details, also police act as if im a burden for making reports and told me i will eventually be jailed for all this “bickering” they called it. I wasnt aware enforcing court orders was a nuisance to the police and I an pretty pissed that 3 officers have threatened ME with jail when i havent committed a crime, why not threaten the POS who causes these reports in the first place?? I am lookn for a lawyer he has hx of alcoholism, previous and current dui

  • Brandie

    If there is no Custody established but the father has been unsuccessful in being allowed to see his son, what would the steps be to get visitation rights. They live in different states and there is no custody papers filed with the courts.

  • Brandie

    How does a father go about establishing a parenting plan and custody arrangements when nothing has been filed with the courts but the mother will not allow the father to see the child?

  • Nanny

    My daughter (age 20) has full legal and physical custody of her 18 month old daughter. The baby’s “sperm donor” took her to court for visitation as a method of attempting to inflict pain on my daughter. He’s shown no real interest in parenting. He was ordered to pay child support and has done nothing but complain about that. He has stated more than once he wants to terminate his rights but in NC he can’t voluntarily do that unless there’s another man ready and willing to adopt. The sperm donors family is crazy. Mother has documented psychiatric issues. Stepfather is a drunk. Our attorney did a piss poor job in court and the sperm donor was awarded unsupervised visits. This is absolutely NOT in the child’s best interest as the court appeared not to care how crazy these people are. My daughter has now left the state to protect the baby. Anyone have any experience in NC with this issue? I’m told that the State won’t take the time or money to attempt to track her down as she has full physical and legal custody and that a contempt of court charge is not something law enforcement is going to really spend any time on either. Anyone know if this is correct? Desperate to protect my family!!

  • Raysha

    I live in Texas and when my son was 4 his father refused to return him back to me and I had to go get him which was over 200 miles away when he was to bring) and also me. Well he filed assault charges on me but due to his record, they prorated me and just told both to stay away from eachother. I filed CPS when my son told me that his dad had guns to his face and was telling him that he was going to kill all of us but they did not find enough, I guess you would say to charge him with anything. But did let him know that if I take him he would stand a chance of getting in bad trouble. So last 11 years has not tried to seek any vistation til we went to court May, June, July; cause he always try to drag it out and I got more money and later got his income tax check. The child support went up $300 more with the modification with AGO, so he is highly mad; and also now has another son that he has to pay for alone with our son together. Not to mention, X-wife that he has assault charges with; when they were together. Due to what has happened with our son, he has been going through alot of depression, anger, defiantance, drugs, etc. That I have been trying to help him with over the last 3 years, he start running away, then got physical with me, skipping classes, and even breaking in our home stealing my laptop, game systems, jewelry. So he got ideas from other bad kids to say that I abuse him and neglect him, so CPS became involved. No findings against me but want to go through a program to get him back home with me, so I let him stay with a school friend parents. His dad first of all start seeing him without me knowing it, them he has withdrawed him out of school and placed him in school near him, again without me knowing. I am afraid of what my happen, because my son has mental problems and also the dad. Father is just doing this to not have to pay child support anymore, get me upset, and to try to get me in trouble. I clearly stated to CPS that I did not want him to be around his dad without supervision and now he has him. I have been trying to get my son in a residential ranch or home for months after his second time in an inpatient rehab and once in outpatient, this is not a good situation; what can i do to help my son?


    You all may be interested in getting an account with You can pay $28 per month and get unlimited answers to your questions. I just used this to represent myself in a contempt matter, saved me $3000 attorney fees, it was a little scarey, but if you do not have money to fight, it could help in some circumstances.

  • Tony

    This definition misleads people to believe non-custodial parents are the ones keeping children from their parents. The truth is that custodial parents keep children from non-custodial parents far more often. This is also a crime in a few states, however, it is rarely enforced. In the few states that make this a crime they usually call it parent time interference.

  • Anthony

    I am currently in the process of going to court for joint custody of my daughter. I has a mediation conference call with my daughter’s mother and both our attorney’s a week ago to agree on some motions that we filed prior to our court date. One of the motions that I consented to was that I would allow her to take our daughter out of the country to Peru for 2 weeks and that she agreed to let me to take my daughter out for her 3rd birthday on a Sunday with my family. When I received the motions from her attorney he had changed certain things that I did not agree on so I did not sign it until he sent a revision, which he never did. 4 days prior to my daughter’s birthday I had sent her attorney a written authorized consent for her to travel our of the country with my daughter, then the following day I sent her an email telling her what time I was picking up my daughter to celebrate her birthday with my family and she responded back by telling me that I she was not allowing me to take her out of the house after she gave me her verbal consent. Will her denying me of this right after she gave me her verbal consent be held against her when we go to our court hearing even though I did not sign the consent papers but both our lawyers were on the call when she gave her verbal agreement? Also, will the judge agree to revoke the signed consent letter that I gave her to travel out of the country with my daughter for her not honoring her verbal agreement after I had made reservations at a restaurant and had 20 guests attending? Lastly, I was paying her the agreed upon $700.00 a month for child support and she told me that she wanted to put our daughter in daycare and that I would only have to pay her an extra $100.00 a month to put enroll into this daycare center. Based on what she told me I agreed for her to put her in this daycare center, but now that we are officially going to court for child support and visitation the attorney said that my monthly obligation is $779.00 but when you add the daycare expense for $754.00 my obligation will be $1,300.00 a month which will make me lose my house and fall behind on my other debt obligations. Will the judge allow my mother who is a certified C.H.H.A. to take care of our daughter for free instead of her current daycare to avoid me paying anything above the $800.00 that I have been giving her, especially after my daughter’s mother told me that I would only have to give her an extra $100.00 to put her in that daycare center? Or maybe even a cheaper daycare center that’s around the corner from her house and it’s only $300.00 a month vs. $754.00? Please advise. Thanks, Anthony

  • alicia

    I (mom) have custody of my daughter…her dad has visitation on the 1st, 3rd, 5th weekends. She has SEVERE (stressing severe) asthma which requires extreme daily high maintenance. Her dad absolutely refuses to communicate with me so I bought her a cell phone (paid, unlimited text/talk/etc) that she can call or text me ANYTIME. He gets her phone as soon as she’s w him and wont let her call or text. Makes up lies and excuses like the battery is dead (not), or she’s out of minutes (um, no) etc. In addition, for past 3 years….everytime she comes home she’s in tears (countless recorded video/convo)….he never wants to go back because he’s mean to her. He spanks her for kneeling on the “new mattress”, won’t let her use her inhaler when she’s having an asthma attack, has given her medicine no longer on her asthma action plan (from YEARS ago) instead of meeting with me to get a current one. He screams at her and tells her she’s being rude when she can’t breathe bc she doesn’t want to play. He’s a tyrant. She’s on 7 prescriptions. He never calls her, half the time I don’t know if he’s getting her or not from school on his scheduled visits bc he will not communicate with me and doesn’t bother calling her. All I want is to know she’s safe, ok, breathing well, and just hear how her day is. I send meds and he still won’t let her use them. Someone plllzzz help! He’s just filed modification of child support to reduce due to unemployment bc he was convicted (felony counts) of stealing money from his company. PLEASE tell me there’s something I can do to protect mini me and make sure he doesn’t receive his modification. He even got a job AFTER convictions, was fired, and showed he’s collecting unemployment benefits. His probation requires he work no less than 40 hours per week.

    I def need any feedback available!! THANKS!

  • Olivia B.(WA)

    My ex and his current wife live in SD. They both have been cited for CUSTODIAL INTERFERENCE 2nd degree. I live in WA ( where they were cited for ^^^^^^^^)….

    ….My question is: How do I go about filing charges ( once again ) if I havn’t seen or talked to my children in going on 2 years if they are residents of SD and I am in WA? and also wouldnt that make them FELONY CHARGES FOR A SECOND OFFENSE IF FOUND GUILTY? I WANT CUSTODY OF MY CHILDREN! and so does the other alienated parent involved that hasnt seen my ex’s step daughter in over a year! PLEASE HELP♥Thank you.

  • Olivia B.(WA)

    I live in WA.

    My childrens live with their father in SD.

    My ex and his current wife have both been cited out of WA in 2008 for CUSTODIAL INTERFERENCE 2ND DEGREE.

    I have not been “allowed” any kind of contact with my children since October 2009 and even that was ubruptly cut off.

    What steps do I need to take to file charges ( once again ) for custodial interference in SD if I live in WA? ( and wouldn’t a second offense make it a felony charge???)

    ***My ex and his wife have kept my 3 children from any contact with me, as well as his wife keeping her 2 children from their father… PLEASE HELP US GET OUR CHILDREN BACK!!!!!*** ♥ thank you so much.

  • Helpless

    Constant custodial interference… I have to boys, 14 & 10, My children reside in IL, the court order and my ex live in AZ. Every time they go to visit him, there is always drama upon their return. I usually do not get return flight info until the last minute, if I do get is ahead of time they will play the sick card… The latest is my oldest called me from the gate about 30 minutes before departure to say he was too sick to fly and “almost” threw up. I told him that the hard part was over and to get on the plane and lay down and that I would be on the other side to take care of him. He said, “ok”. I never heard from my ex. He prefers to have the oldest son call me, in which I feel is wrong to put him in the middle like this. To me it shows that he has a choice to stay if he wants and you can override my authority and a court order. I have NOT heard from them since and it’s been 24 hours. They are now missing school today. I do not know why my younger son was not put on the flight. Did I mention my younger son is NOT the legal child of my ex? …This is the 3 time in 14 months that I have filed a police report. They usually interview my ex, and do nothing about this. I feel helpless in IL as if I was in AZ I could simply go with the police and pick up my children. My ex is now claiming that to the schools that my children will be home tomorrow night due to Southwest problems and delays… This was his intention all along and is a crock. Their flight left as scheduled yesterday, and there are other airlines and flights available today. He also could have drove my children home in order to obey the court order…. This was all a production, (and usually is) in order to get my children to stay 2 more days…. Did I mention that I have yet to have any notice or communication as to when my children will return???? The police are useless, the FBI said they don’t handle parental kidnapping,(even with the youngest not be his, it would be kidnapping)… I owe my attorney, who is withdraw last year, so I have no attorney, nor can I afford one… Did I mention he hardly pays child support and owes me $16,000???? …How do I get my children back home today!!! How can I make sure he doesn’t do this again?? He continues to do this and get away with it because he can!!!!! My court order seemingly only pertains to me and not him….HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!….

    Helpless in Illinois

    • Cari

      document everything keep a notebook with dates times and then file contempt charges if he keeps it up he will end up losing visitation and yes you might have to force the police with the child that is not his….

  • Julie

    If father has specific summer visitations and the mother does not allow the children to visit, can this be considered custodial interference? The parents live in seperate states, the father picks up and drops off the children each summer. Last winter the mother had moved to the same state, the father picked up and dropped off the children each weekend (3 hour trip), the mother then moved back to another state just before summer with a 3 day notification- father got no summer visitation last year. This year, the children have said they ( 9 & 10) would be staying with their mother over the summer. The mother consistenly does not answer the phone when the father calls, limits phone conversations and negatively influences the children regarding the father. When the children visit the father, there are never any issues, the kids have fun and are better taken care of then with the mother. The mother has 3 other children who she relinquished rights to for nonsupport issues, however the father of these 2 pays child support and wants to be a part ofthe kids lives, the mother makes it difficult for all situations, except for receiving child support. Please provide advise.

  • Byron

    I live in Alabama and I have just been granted Sole Physical and Legal custody of my son. I can tell you the police will not enforce court ordered visitation UNLESS they are ordered by the court. Before I was granted custody, I was denied visitation on several court ordered days and could get no assistance. Documentation (and patience) is the key. I made a calender for the Judge showing all the violations, with documentation of my attempts to contact his mother. If you live in a state where it unlawful to record phone calls. Use text messages, they are EASY to document. Forward to an email account and print. Can’t stress documentation enough. If you’re not sure if you need it, get it anyway and take it to court.

  • Utah NC Parent

    Utah law states, “A person who is entitled to custody of a child is guilty of custodial interference if, during a period of time when another person is entitled to visitation of the child, the person takes, entices, conceals, detains, or withholds the child from the person entitled to visitation of the child, with the intent to interfere with the visitation of the child.”

    This directly contradicts your definition of custodial interference.

    Custodial interference is most often perpetrated by CUSTODIAL parents… women.

  • Olivia B.(WA)

    but, women experience it as well.

  • Connor

    First of all, I think it’s sad for the child that the two parents can’t cooperate to allow the non-custodial parent the most convenient and reasonable access to the child as possible. After all, the child deserves to have two parents in his/her life. Custodial parents have the majority of the time with the child anyway, so why is it that the custodial parents are bitter and vindictive towards the non-custodial parent and seem to always make it as difficult as possible for the non-custodial parent to spend time with the child? Why is the Family court system in our country so discriminatory towards men and hands over physical custody to women 90% of the time? The Family court does not respect Men’s constitutional rights to be parents and fathers to their children. Why does this injustice continue to happen to men over and over? The solution to this rampant problem is to pass federal law that all parents should have shared custody automatically unless either parent can be proven to be an unfit parent. The court should not have any say or jurisdiction as to how the parents divide parenting time for their children. That should be up to the parents to work out, outside of an adversarial courtroom. When the couple was married and decided to have children, the state was not involved in how the child would be raised by two the two adults who consented to have children. But when two adults file for divorce, all the sudden it becomes the business of the state to determine who the child will live with and how often the child can or cannot see the non-custodial parent. The state needs to leave peoples personal affairs alone. It’s up to the two parents to work out and decide what’s best for the child. If one parent is uncooperative in this regard and if it can be shown to the court one parent is uncooperative when it comes to co-parenting, then that person can loose parenting time and rights.

    Finally the best solution to all of this non-sense is to issue marriage licenses that have an expiration date. Like a drivers license. The couple must decide themselves in writing how all assets will be divided, who the child will live with, how co-parenting and visitation will work in the event the two decide not to renew their marriage when it expires. This will eliminate all the scumbag lawyers who want this type of conflict so they can extract tens of thousands of dollars from a family divorce. It will also completely reduce the huge overload of cases in the corrupt family court system. What a concept.! It should become standard policy for divorcing in this counrty.

  • Connor

    First of all, I think it’s sad for the child that the two parents can’t cooperate to allow the non-custodial parent the most convenient and reasonable access to the child as possible. After all, the child deserves to have two parents in his/her life. Custodial parents have the majority of the time with the child anyway, so why is it that the custodial parents are bitter and vindictive towards the non-custodial parent and seem to always make it as difficult as possible for the non-custodial parent to spend time with the child? Why is the Family court system in our country so discriminatory towards men and hands over physical custody to women 90% of the time? The Family court does not respect Men’s constitutional rights to be parents and fathers to their children. Why does this injustice continue to happen to men over and over? The solution to this rampant problem is to pass federal law that all parents should have shared custody automatically unless either parent can be proven to be an unfit parent. The court should not have any say or jurisdiction as to how the parents divide parenting time for their children. That should be up to the parents to work out, outside of an adversarial courtroom. When the couple was married and decided to have children, the state was not involved in how the child would be raised by two the two adults who consented to have children. But when two adults file for divorce, all the sudden it becomes the business of the state to determine who the child will live with and how often the child can or cannot see the non-custodial parent. The state needs to leave peoples personal affairs alone. It’s up to the two parents to work out and decide what’s best for the child. If one parent is uncooperative in this regard and if it can be shown to the court one parent is uncooperative when it comes to co-parenting, then that person can loose parenting time and rights.

    Finally the best solution to all of this non-sense is to issue marriage licenses that have an expiration date. Like a drivers license. The couple must decide themselves in writing how all assets will be divided, who the child will live with, how co-parenting and visitation will work in the event the two decide not to renew their marriage when it expires. This will eliminate all the scumbag lawyers who want this type of conflict so they can extract tens of thousands of dollars from a family divorce. It will also completely reduce the huge overload of cases in the corrupt family court system. What a concept.! It should become standard policy for divorcing in this country.

  • Connor

    Women need to stop being so bitter towards men by doing whatever they possibly can to prevent them from being father’s to their children. If women truly understand what is best for the child they would grasp the concept that a child needs a father involved in their life for the childs well being. Women continue piss and moan about the child not being returned on time and want to rush into court or call police just keep the conflict going. Why are most women so illogical, bitter and unsensible when it comes to what is best for the child. If women would simply allow flexibility for the child to have reasonable relations with the non-custi

  • Bridget

    I have been divorced for 8 yrs now. I get along with my exhusband and we co-parent quite well. I live in PA, my exhusband lives in VA. We have a set visitation schedule, 2 weekends a month and 7 weeks in the summer the children are with him. We meet half way at an agreed upon meeting place. I am in the horrible position of being abused in my second marriage. I do not work because my daughter is home bound due to health issues (needs a double lung transplant). I have no other options but to leave and move in with my sister and her family. Problem is she lives in OH. My ex and I are currently 4 1/2 hours away from each other. We would now be 6 1/2 hours away. I don’t want to take away his time but give him 1 long weekend a month, so he still has his 4 days with the kids and 7 weeks in the summer. And I want to him to drive an hour further and I will drive and 1 and 1/2 hours further. He is refusing stating I must continue to meet at the set location, drivnig the additional 2 and 1/2 hours on my own and I still must come two weekends a month, Do you think a judge will see my situation? Will there be any consideration and help for me? I feel like my back is up against a wall and I can’t stay in an abusive situation I think that is unsafe for the children (never harmed or even yelled at only me but still).

  • Brian Leitch

    I have been looking for my son since 2005. I have visitation schedule ordered through the court but the mother moved and I have not been able to locate her or my son. She knew I was trying to get her for contempt of the visitation so she has been hiding. What can I do at this point?

    • Cari

      File anyways denying you your parental rights is illegal you will be granted custody and then can have the police looking for your child….

    • Try This

      You should try!! It’s Great and, you can type in her name, phone number, etc. and will find results! Start with her and if nothing shows up…Put her parents or her siblings. It is worth every dime (I think $19.00) just to track her down and your child!

  • Cherie RUGELEY

    I am the custodial parent and the non custodial parent does not pick him up or bring him back on time. One time he kept him for 4 months and the police wouldnt do anything about it. I was told i can do a demand letter and send it via certified mail to the non custodial parent. How do i get that form. And what are my other options. thank you

  • Liz

    If your child is going to be with the non-custodial parent and will be spending that time with 2 individuals that you know are not good for the child to be around, do you have the right to not let the child be with the non-custodial parent? There is no offical agreeement in place. The non-custodial parent has not signed the agreement out of spite at this point. What should you do? The third party individuals, one has had her child taken away by the courts, and one is a married man with his girlfriend 20 years his junior.

  • marcus

    I have my kids full time but its joint custody. I live in Tx but my ex moved to california. She will have kids for the summer, what can i do if she dont return them?

  • Tony

    My wife left me and took my daughter to live with her and her lesbian partner…she refuses to allow me to know where my daughter is staying. We are still legally married and have no custody agreement. I do not know the living conditions my daughter is in and I’m wanting full custody of her. Is she required to tell me to where my daughter is living? What is my best course of action?

  • JJB

    If you have a child that is mad and doesn’t like your rules, (mad because he lost xbox and tv privleges) if an in-law interferes and the child will not come home can i get the police involved? I live in KY

    • Try This

      Maybe, the child is having problems that you don’t know of..such as bad grades, back talking, causing problems at school, etc.! Have you bothered to talk to the other parent to find why the child had been grounded in the first place? It is possible that the child is playing both parents and in “MOST CASES” it is best that the parents discuss these situations without involving the “In-laws” due to the is extremely hard for them to be bias in situations such as this. It is both parents responsibility to raise their child/children without outside interference from extended family. Why waste the time of law enforcement when, all that is needed…Is for the parents to grow-up and be civil with one another.

  • myBrother

    My brother’s been framed for kidnapping by mentally unstable mother of his son. On a day that he did not have visitation she called him and told him to pick up his son. He went over and picked him up. A couple hours later she called the police and accused him of stealing the toddler. He was contacted by the police and told to bring the child to the precinct and was put in jail immediately. She doesn’t work and spends most of her time plotting on how to make his life miserable. He can’t afford legal consultation. How can he defend himself against this witch (figuratively speaking)? What are his rights?

  • sara

    Can a Grandparent of a noncustodial parent charge you with custody interference?

    • Try This

      Does the grandparent has Custodial Rights to the child in the (last said) custody papers? If not, then no!

  • Dylan

    Ms. Monica,
    My situation is the following; my ex-husband took out a warrant for my arrest on custodial interference. The last order on our case was an “emergency temporary custody” giving me only visitation. 2 weeks later he asked me to move in with them because he couldn’t care for the child like I would. For year we live in violation or this court order. Then I had to deploy, However when I return from a deployment I found that he had left our child with his parents. And had moved to another state. I retrieve my son and live at the last known address with him, caring for everyday. and then the summer came. Every summer our son goes on vacation to another state. His father returned from whereever he was at claiming custodial interference. The thing is I haven’t had the child. He is with my family on vacation, just like he goes every year. Furthermore, I turned myself in for this warrant, and now they are saying I will be charged with a felony if I don’t bring the child back.

  • Proud Father

    I am a proud father of two beautiful girls (both younger than 6). I have always been an active father in their lives. My wife and I are separated and have been for more than two years. There has been a motion for a divorce, but apparently nothing files since I have not been served. Her parents (my in-laws) are calling all the shots and will not allow us to communicate with each other. The court order state that we are to communicate with each other when it comes to our daughters and they are not allowing that and are not fully communicating with me with regards to a lot of situations. I have shared, joint legal custody with supervised visitation and she (my wife) has primary, physical custody. Her father is the one who supervises the visitation (I believe this is unfair to me and the children). The reason for the supervised visitation is because they are falsely accusing me of abusing my wife. I haven’t spoken to her in approx. 2 yrs. due to her parents interfering. Questions: Is there anything I can do about getting her parents for (1) interfering in our marriage and (2) interfering with my rights as a father to be a father to my children who would like to see me more than 2 hours a week. Please HELP so my daughters and I will have more time with each other. Help with finding a way to change the court order. There is a lot more to this, but it gets too involved. Just please HELP! Thanks.

  • Sandy

    My son is in OSP. Yes this is bad in its self. He was defending his 2 and 3 year old children when things went wrong. He had custody of the children where the mom had supervised visit because her boyfriend brok the youngest one leg at 8 months olg. When my son went to jail myself and my husband helped with the kids til the courts granted the mother custody. The courts also put an order forth for myself to have the children every other weekend to take the kids to see their dad who they adore. The mother is now keeping them from us by saying the 3 and 4 year olds are grounded or sick or the kids want to do something els. Well I have an issue with this when the kids throw a fit at having to go back t their moms after a visit. Can the mom do this.

  • Amanda Duran

    Is July 4th weekend considered a legal holiday?

  • Shannon

    My ex is intimedating me with my son,he is not going by the court order of visitation,he is threating me with drug tests,which I can pass and he is doing drugs himself.He carries a gun and I’m affraid for my son and myself.

  • curt

    my son claims he was abused by stepdad, he was in my custody for the summer and ran away the day before my x wife come to get him, he had a cell phone so he kept in contact. I knew whre he was but he refused to go home, he was 16 at the time, i have been charged with cusdotial interference ans am waiting trial. I do have full custody of him now. after he was found she gave him up after a long court fight, i have been told that i can go to prison for this, do you have any advise for me and can i win this?

  • H.

    Related question:
    I allowed my 9 year old son to go down to Florida, from Massachusetts, to visit my father and get enrolled in school in preparation for my following a month later. This took place in late January. Unfortunately, a situation arose which changed circumstances, and I decided to remain. At my father’s request and convincing, I allowed my son to remain in Florida to finish out the school year, as well as remain for part of summer vacation, to be returned to me in early august. This was against my wants, as I would miss him, but I allowed it to afford him to finish the school year without further upheaval.
    I have since found out from my son that my father has been leaving him home alone while he goes to the bar for up to 5-9 hours at a time, as well as telling him lies about me and attempting to alienating him towards returning to me.
    I have informed my father I wish my son returned to me here in Massachusetts immediately, offered to supply the plane ticket, and he has thus refused. He intends to fight me for custody of my son, and is interfering with my rights to custody.
    Upon sending my son down there, I signed and got notarized a paper my father supplied, stating I give him custody of my son for medical and school purposes. I have been informed that this can be considered dissolved immediately upon my request for the return of my child.

    I have contacted the local police here in MA, seeking advice, but have not heard back from them as of the writing of this.

    I am in need of advice. According to my research, I have the right to call the police in his area and have my son taken.
    Should I call the authorities in his town in Florida, and have my son removed and returned to me? What options do I have?
    By the way, he cannot prove me an unfit parent, nor do I do drugs, drink, or have a criminal history, although I cannot say the same for him.

  • ms uvalle

    Okay… My daughter will be 9 in October. She lives with her father for now BUT is so unhappy. Court orders I have her every 1st 3rd and 5th weekend and half summer. And also normal holiday changes from even to odd years. My ex refuses to let us talk and has even kept her from coming on my specified days in court order. I dont have money for a lawyed but would like a modification of existing order due to parental alienation and abstructing a parents rightful child custody. He even let his soon to be EX wife take MY daughter out of state without my parental consent. Does that qualify for kidanpping or parentAl kidnapping??? I am stuck and my baby girl is so unhappy at her fathers. Any advice would be most deaply appriciated. Thank you! Tina

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  • Erica

    My sons father and I have a Final Order from Court… that states he is allowed resonable visitation with our child, and if we don’t agree we can take it back to court. He never wanted to see him until he was 14 months old, He said that it could only be “us” exchanging the child, I agreed. One month later he started sending his mother. He works THIRD shift Friday and Saturday, and his mother works on Saturday night (He lives with her) They will NOT tell me anything about my child while he is there, nor tell me who is watching him while they are working. Can I get in trouble if I don’t send him over there? I filed papers to go back to court for contempt…

  • HelpfulGrandmother

    What about aunt restraining a nieces daughter? Aunt has no custodial right at all.How do we prosecute.

  • Marytherese

    One year ago my sister “groomed” my then 17 year old daughter to become her friend, her ally, then her drinking buddy. She bought expensive gifts, things I as a single working mother could never afford. What teenager could resist being chauffered to and from school every day with morning Starbucks and afternoon lunches at whatever restaurant she chose?

    My daughter began spending the night at my aging dad’s house because that’s where my older sister lives. Eventually she moved out of my home (a mile away) and her attitude with me was filled with hateful resentment.

    Long story short, my daughter was given her own room with zero supervision and became a drug addict. She turned 18 a short time later but I only found out about her dropping out of school, being arrested and going to court (with her aunt) and how she was left on her own every night to take care of my 87 year old dad.

    She was a minor but the school did not notify me of anything because behind my back my sister told them that SHE was the one who was in charge of her (and my dad’s dwindling estate). The local authorities were no help. They told me that because my daughter was about to turn 18 in a few months back then, had I ordered her home it would have “caused more trouble”.

    Today my daughter is fully addicted to drugs, has no contact with me or her siblings. My sister is under investigation for the unlawful death of my dad, fraud, theft and DUI.

    Sometimes aunts can be the hidden predators in our children’s lives. Good luck.

  • Gail

    My husband shares joint physical custody of his two children, 17 and 13 with his ex wife. The 17yo refuses to talk to him or see him and since she’s 17, I don’t think there is much he can do about that. The 13 yo now is trying to follow in her footsteps, refusing to answer his calls and will not come out of the house when my husband comes to get him. The ex-wife is not encouraging him to see his father, only says, “what do you want me to do, I can’t make him come out of the house.” My husband believes that she is also negatively impacting the relationship with the son through her words and actions but that’s impossible to prove since he’s not there. My question is whether there is ANY recourse for this situation? She’s not technically interferring since he is there are the house and she didn’t take him away, but the custody agreement to have him every other weekend is not being adhered to. Please help.

  • Frustrated

    I have custody of my five year old daughter. The mother barely exercises her visitation with her. Each time my ex picks my daughter up she states that she will return her on Sunday. She always has an excuse about transportation or money for gas and I always have to end up driving 1 1/2 to get her. My ex picked her up on Sunday and was supposed to return her and then called 8:00 at night and said she did not have a way to bring her back so I agreed that she could stay for the week and she was to be returned on Sunday. Through several conversations I offered to meet her or to pick her up when coming through that area and she stated no I will just bring her home on Sunday. Now she refuses to bring her back. Stating I have to come get her. What are my legal rights or what should I do?

  • Mini

    I have a question regarding the use of private information. My daughter was visiting her father for a few weeks this summer, During that time, she called me to ask for her SS# so that her gma could open a bank account for her. I told my daughter no, and that when she came back home, I would do that with her. Against what I said, the gma continued to use her info and open a bank account under her name for my daughter. BTW, she found her SS# from an old document. I am the parent/legal guardian as her father and I were never married. What can I do to pursue this. I have already notified the bank with my complaint. I also noted to them that the gma fraudulently signed the paperwork stating she was the Parent/Legal Guardian. Pls Help! I am sick of this woman interferring in my home.

  • Art

    My son is 17 michigan has jurisdiction over him and he lives with his mother in indiana. His mother moved 100 miles south further in indiana with her boy friend. My son wants to live with me, but she says no! She has physical custody, we both have shared legal. My son does not want to go back after visititation. With out paying $1000s for an attorney, what can be done or what can she do to him or I?

  • Steve

    I filed for divorce on March 16 in Franklin County in KY. My wife was properly served with the papers. She abducted my 10 year old and 8 year old on March 19 and went to United Kingdom defying circuit court’s judge’s restraining orders preventing her to take the children out of country. I have not even spoken with my children since March 12 coz she won’t allow it stating she doesn’t want the children tell me things that I don’t need to know. I filed thru Hague Convention proceeding in London on international Abduction(a civil proceedings). The Judge over there REFUSED to return the children to USA stating the children are mature enough and their views are to be taken into consideration and that the older child(10 years old) does not wish go back to USA. The circuit court judge issued another ORDER after the abduction ordering the mother to bring the children back to KY and ordering her not to discuss the proceedings with the children. Divorce trial is on Oct 04 here in KY and the judge issued a crminal summons for her for contempt of court ordering her to be present on Oct 04 with the children. My parental rights have been violated since March. CAN I file a motion to enforce that order and request that I have primary physical custody of my children here in KY?. What is my best course of action? Plz advise

  • sara

    My Son’s father has a warrant for his arrest. We live 7 hours away from him. His next scheduled visitation is in three weeks. What can I file to protect myself from custodial interference? I need to protect my son from the mental anguish of seeing his father arrested. I live in California. Can you advise me in my first step?

  • Concerned

    Sara.. I hope you aren’t alienating your son’s father from his own father.. If so SHAME ON YOU!

  • Concerned

    I meant to say his own SON..

  • D Bean

    This law is also being abused by law enforcement agencies and they may be putting children in danger. My daughters were abandoned at a concert in a baseball stadium by their mother during her visitation. The girls, fearing for their safety, left the concert and went to a mini mart some 2 miles away (it was the nearest and most familiar business they trusted). They called me (the custodial parent) and explained what happened and asked to be picked up. I picked the girls up and began calling their mothers cell phone for the next 4 hours. She never answered calls or messages. I took the girls home (their custodial home).They finally went fell asleep at midnight waiting for their mother to call. at 3 am I awake to hear banging at my front door. I open the door to find city police at my door step asking if the children were there. Long story short the girls are woken from their beds, rousted, threatened with running away, juvenile detention and threaten me with custodial intereference. I am the custodial parent, the children felt the were imminent danger, they werent running away from home they were returning TO their home where they felt safe. This occured not once but 3 times! The girls counselor said that returning them to such a situation was damaging to them and that next time they would run somewhere else. The attorney argued the same arguments to no avail. Each time the children were returned to the non custodial parent! Each time they were left unsupervised and left. When I met with the chief of police regarding the issue I was again threatened with custodial intereference and the childrens safety was never discussed. This is an abuse of the law and law enforcement agencies who interfere with custodial parents rights and put children in imminent danger should be allowed to be sued to hold them accountable for such interference

    • Concerned

      🙁 I’m sorry D Bean, our justice system and especially the family court system is corrupt..

  • Heather

    My ex and I have a custody and visitation order in NYS. He left the following year to train with the USAF first in TX for 3 mos and then took an apt in MASS for a year where he worked on an AFB. He is in reserves but was listed as active duty during his training and then lost the job and so now is on reserve status again. The problem is that after he made arrangements to leave NYS I moved to SC. He knew about the move, had no problem with it…never made any attempt to see children except for one time that I drove them all the way to NYS and all the way back to SC so that he could have them for a week. Our visitation order is loose, we deliberately wrote it up that way because we knew we were leaving the state. It states only that visitation will be worked out between the parents around the father’s work schedule. Now that he lost his job and has moved in with his parents back in NYS he has filed for a modification through SC stating that he never wanted children to leave NYS and that I have refused his visitation. (I have offered to meet him in VA several times but he said he couldn’t get away for it.) He asks the court to grant him physical custody or to give him what I think is an unreasonable amount of time for visitation. He wants 2 mos every summer and one holiday season, alternating easter and christmas. These children moved two years ago, he has made no effort to see them (although he has reg phone contact) and they are young, 6 and 8. To me, 2 mos is too much all at once with a man they do not see. He also pulls the same phone stuff as above. At least one to two calls daily and when I miss the call occaisonally because I have put my cell down, I see that he texted me that I had best have a very good reason for interfering with his rights to telaphonic access. This is all really an effort to control me and intimidate me because I told him I was getting remarried. Should I be worried about custody? He has me terrified that he is going to take them away from me and has threatened in the past to run with them if I don’t move back to NYS.

    • Beckham


      Even though you are the custodial parent and have moved so far away from your children’s Father, you should do the right thing and promote a relationship between the children and their Father. Your children will thank you for this later in life. I don’t believe it’s unreasonable for him to ask for and have two full months of time with the children during the Summer when you live so far apart. He wants to have a relationship with his kids and he deserves this as do the kids. He has God given rights as a Father that really should be recognized by you. The Family Courts are corrupt and do not recognize parents God given rights to have a relationship with their children. Try not to view his wanting to spend time with his children as a “way to control you”. It is actually you, at this stage who is doing the controlling, because you were given way too much control by the court to begin with. You both love your children and they love both of their parents. Your children probably struggle with not being able to see their Father and they may not express this, but on the inside they are hurting because they miss their Dad.

      Many women (not all) are too controlling and do not allow reasonable relationships between Dad and the kids after the divorce. This is called bitterness. Your kids don’t care how much you may dislike your ex-husband. That is not their problem or their concern. They only want to have their Dad involved in their lives because they love him too and they deserve to have two parents not just one. You need to learn how to be civil with him, especially if he is acting civil towards you. Your relationship with each other needs to be handled like a business relationship and you need to learn to get along and be flexible, collaborative and cooperative with each other. Not only are you doing this for yourselves to have a civil co-parenting relationship, but you are also going to act this way for your children to see that their parents can act proper and reasonably with one another, instead of having arguments and facing off in court. Understand something when you have a disagreement and you have to go to court. The Family Court system does not care about you or your children. The court sees you as another file folder on their desk and they want you out of there as fast as they can get rid of you. This means that typically the courts rulings are not always equitable and are poorly executed rulings. Family courts are corrupt and they have a way of preventing good parents (Father’s typically) from having reasonable contact and relations with their children. Don’t prevent his relationship if he wants one, you will only be harming your children and it’s a selfish way to act.

      I commend you for driving both ways to NY allow him a week of time and for offering to meet him halfway in VA. Since these children live with you all the time and it sounds like they never get to see their Father. This is the type of thing you need to continue doing, to promote the relationship. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to meet him halfway to exchange the children between you. It is very possible that he never wanted you to move so far away and it sounds like he was in the military at the time and really could not say or do much about it because of his military commitment. Since he now wants to see his kids more often, don’t try to prevent that from happening. I do not see how a court will grant him custody, unless he can show that you are somehow unfit to be the custodial parent. If he can show proof that you are deliberately disallowing him phone contact and visits with the children, then you may get severely reprimanded and possibly fined something. I still don’t believe he would get custody, unless it can be shown that the children are being physically and or mentally abused by you.

      My recommendation is that you give him the two months he’s asking for during the Summer and the one week of school vacation during the year. I find it sad that you think just because your children have not spent much time with him over the past two years, you are using this as an excuse to try to justify not allowing the kids two months of summer vacation with him. Try to remember that your kids love their Father, as they love you and you have had all he time with them exclusively for yourself. Don’t be selfish and controlling. Allow your children and your ex-husband to have this time together and don’t waste time and money fighting about it in court. It’s not worth it. Stop relying on the court system to resolve your parenting issues. Remember to try to be flexible and collaborative with him since you basically have all the time with your kids and he basically never sees them. Be fair to your children and fair to him and you will all be a lot happier with less conflict.

  • Shellie

    My daughter allowed her daughters other grandmother to take her 4yo for a summer vacation, it was agreed she’d bring the child back too, the 5 hour drive, she kept making excuses and then finally she refused to and said we’d have to come get her. I called the sheriff in that county for help with a assist as I figured there would be problems, the det. said no problem the next morning my daughter called to let the grandma know we’d be leaving, I called again to the sheriff’s to arrange the assistance and was told they wouldnt do anything and told us to call the commisioner, we did he claimed my daughter couldnt have her daughter without custody papers or primarary care papers, I didnt think that was correct and confirmed this with the Juvenile Services and the DA’s office in both counties, I even had the Juvenile Sevices at the court house call him back to confirm with him, I spoke to him on several occassions and asked if my daughter could charge the grandparents with custodial intererence as at this point they told us we were not allowed to come get her, I spoke to every official i could think of and there was no reason to stop my daughter from having her own daughter. Meanwhile while i was worried about a confrontation with the grandma, she ran out and gave false information to a sheriff, she didnt want to give the baby back, we were informed to call this detective, she said no you cant get your daughter that there has been some complaints of endangerment , neglet and child neglet then the sheriff said we’d have to come and talk to her would not tell us anything else, we figured the grandmother must of done something. So, we get there and they arrested my daughter for child endangerment and there was a no contact order, Im sorry but this all doesnt seem right there had been no investigation no department of child srvices involved “nothing at all” and we had been trying to get help for hours before she ran out and did this. The commisioner we asked for help is the one who signed the warrant. They said my daughter willing treated her daugt in a manner as to adversely affected the childs health and welfare by #1 leaving her in that county (this is not true), #2 without legal papers for the caregiver, (im guessing they mean no type of power of attorney for healthcare) and (that is not true neither), #3 there are also allegations that my daughter gave her “sleepy medicine” to make her sleep, (this is not true eihter the last time the grandma (should havebeen the last time) had visitation she took the girl to Dr’s and got cough med’s and then gave it to my daughter for the child to take, my daughter didnt want to give her med’s only at night sometimes if her cough was bad enough to interfere with her sleep, i was standing there in the bathroom when she told her daughter this will help your cough go away and make you sleepy!!!! The detective didnt ask about any of these accuzations (didnt spell that right). We believed at the time the grandma was trying to bide time and try to get custody throught the courts. This is not the first time she filed false charges on my daughter in attemps to get her to sign over custody, she never went to court as there was no evidents and the case was abandoned. We do have a lawyer that believes he can get this thrown out and our courts have juristiction and want her back home as well. My question is did this detecteve and the commissioner violate my daughter civil right by official misconduct? This has all been traumatising and financially strapping!!! Do you think the grdma should be charged for custodial interferecne still? our DA thinks so. DCS doesnt understand how this is legal peceedure either I would sue the sheriffs ad file charges on grandma if I thought I could, what do you think?

  • Ebony615

    If the father is keeping the mother from seeing the child and their case is outside of court,can the father still be charged with custodial interference?

    • JR

      Who are you addressing this question to?

  • StepMom

    My husband and his ex-wife have Shared Legal custody in the state of Florida. Hers is their Primary Physical Address for School District purposes. We are currently trying to get Sole Legal Custody (or at least Residential) because of several situations – not the least of which is Medical Neglect against the kids and Domestic Violence between mom and her live-in boyfriend. We are currently living out of state and have a VERY specific Visitation agreement that has been in place since 2007. His Ex-wife has a contempt case pending for intentionally withholding the children from scheduled visitation on 4 occasions. Now (because of the custody case?) she is Ignoring all of our communications about the upcoming scheduled Thanksgiving visitation. Is there anything we can do to Compel her to send them? Or do we just wait until she does not and then what can we do?? Thanks for your help

  • frustrated step mom

    Hi, here’s my situation… I am the step mother to a wonderful 11 yeat old boy. His father adn his mother have joint custody. He is with his father and I every other week (it’s a crazy schedule, not just straight every other week…) this is court ordered visitation. His mother is remarried. A couple days ago his mother asked if she could take him out of state during dad’s visitation time to go to a funeral for the new step dad’s mother (whom the child does NOT have a relationship with at all,) dad said No, it is his time to see his son. This evening we received a text message saying that their son will not be coming tomorrow for his scheduled visitation because she took him out of state for the funeral anyways… Mind you, this is not the first time she has done this and she is constantly trying to change visitations around to suit her needs. Now, I have suggested to dad that he call the local police tomorrow when his son does not show up and inform them of what is happening. We are planning on taking her back to court for a custody ammendment, she and her new husband have VERY questionable parenting issues (both recently picked up class B drug charges… DURING mom’s visitation time.) Am I correct in thinking that this situation falls under MASS general laws chapt 265 sect 26A which refers to parental interference?? What can we do with this? Thanks for your help.

  • Deborah

    I am still going through the divorce process. My “husband” has not let me contact my son at all stating because I am not paying child support he tells me I no longer have the right to speak with my son until I “pay up”. I have moved out of Connecticut to Minnesota and don’t know what to do so I can contact him..Husband has blocked my number.

    • Olivia

      Deborah, I understand your suffering.. I have been going throught this evil control power trip for well over 5 years.. I havn’t had communication with my oldest 3 children in 2 years, they blocked my numbers and letters as well. They say “money has nothing to do with it” but $$$ is ALL THEY TALK ABOUT- when they say anything about me.

      The courts look at child support and visitation issues SEPERATELY.. and your son’s father cannot refuse you visitation just because you can’t afford to pay child support ( period!)

      It will more than likey be a waste of any money you have to hire an attorney so I would suggest going to your local superior court and requesting a Pro Se Divorce Packet, that should contain step by step instruction on how to file contempt for him refusing your visitation ( if there is an order ) and then other things such as Exparte petitions for emergency situations ….

      START READING UP THE STATUTES AND LEGISLATIONS IN THE JURISDICTION STATE ( where the divorce and visitation papers were filed )

      and remember… YOU CAN DO THIS… YOUR SON NEEDS YOU, NO-MATTER WHAT YOUR EX SAYS! Blessings to you and yours♥

  • Nikki

    can a custodyal parent keep a child from the non-costodyal parent if child support is not up to date but non-custodyal parent is still paying child suport .

  • Concerned Parent

    Nikki, – a Custodial parent cannot keep or deny a child from the non-custodial parent just because the child support is in arrears.
    More importantly, even if the non-custodial parent wasn’t paying anything- the non-custodial parent still has equal access to his/her child!
    In the family court system child support and visitation are 2 SEPERATE issues. The judge cannot rule in favor of the custodial parent denying vistation just because the non-custodial parent cannot pay child support. (THANK GOD!)
    Hope this helped 😉

  • Southpaw1982

    The police will do nothing but take a report. My ex wife took my child out of the state of Alabama so I couldn’t see him for my visitation. I went to the police with my divorce decree and they filled out a report and told me to be on my way. I went to the circuit clerk and he said I couldn’t sign a warrant on her because it is a FELONY! She is committing a felony and they do nothing.
    The law is 13a-6-45 and it clearly states that it is a Class C felony.

    • Olivia Bui

      Southpaw1982: my ex and his wife did the exact same thing but the sheriff told me they couldnt do anything until visitation day was missed.
      Me and the other parent went to the “custodial parent’s” house and it was deserted!
      Long story short, they packed up over night and traveled from state to state with 7 children until they found a microscopic town (population like 500) and purchased a house there.. enrolled the kids in that school.. and acted like they did nothing wrong.. like it had all been planned. but the rental truck company said that their destination was suppose to be in Idah, when infact they returned it in Rapid city, SD!

      Contemp papers were filed, he was held in contempt and so was his wife. Then, the judge forced them to bring the children back and re-enroll them back in school in WA, and then they both got a lesser charge of CUSTODIAL INTERFERENCE 2nd degree… only because there was a technicality in statutes because there was a temporary parenting plan in place 🙁
      I havn’t seen or spoken with my kids in 2 years now, and they continue to reside in that itty bitty town of Newell, SD..
      Wwill the police help… NOPE! YOUR RIGHT ON THAT ONE! 🙁

    • yuenkwai

      Go to the police in your area, file custodial interfrence against her an investigator she pursue it further. Also petition the court for emergency return of the child and have it state the any law enforcement officer of the other state by all means necessary should retrive your child. That is what I had to do I live in Arkansas she lives in Tennessee and refused to return my children. I filed an police report with the local pd a detective contacted her and told her to return the children, she did not and was going be hind the scenes in TN. trying to circumvent my custody. I also had my attorney file an emergency petition to return my kids. When she did not follow the order of the detective I signed an affidavitt an a felony warrant for her arrest was taken out. I took my emergency order to Tennesse found out were she was hiding contacted local TN. pd and got my girls back. Yes it is a lot of money but my girls are back. All of her petitions to the courts in TN. were dismissed including the Order of protection she was trying to file. persistance!!!!

  • Concerned Parent

    Please help us help our children. Join the cause for an intervention:

  • mara

    What happens when a teen leaves home under 18 and another family is allowing her to stay the not a blood relative it a boyfriends parents by allowing her to stay when iM demanding her home is this custodial interfearence?


    My ex and i have joint legal custody and I have physical custody. He has the children during the summer in a different state. He has refused to return the for school. I don’t have money to pay for an attoney, but I do have a certified copy of the order registered in the state he lives in. Is it against the law for me to go to that state and pick my children up from school and bring them back home with me.

    • Concerned Parent

      WHITE.. Abselutely NOT– is it illigal for you to pick your children up from school, especially because he has refused to comply with the order that is certified in the state he lives in! He is in contempt of court my dear, and you can file contempt yourself, attorneys (sorry to say) *in my opinion* just take your money and make the process take longer to get more money.
      He has also commited a criminal act called CUSTODIAL INTERFERENCE!!!!
      I would advice you to go directly to the sheriff’s office to show them a copy of your order that states he was to bring your children back to you after summer vacation so they can see for them selves the act was commited and how he (I am assuming) enrolled the children in school without your consent..
      The officer’s can assist you in the details on how to go about doing everything to make sure this doesnt happen again but make sure you file for contempt! The officers/Prosecutor will handle the custodial interference.

      Hope I helped some… let us know how it goes… Blessings to you and yours. < 3
      P.S. I am not a lawyer, but I knows these facts from my own personal experiances 😉
      ***YOU CAN DO IT!!!!***

  • Concerned Parent

    MARA… since no one has answered you… I guess I can give you an opinion and option…

    – opinion: I do not think it is called Custodial Interference… but I could be wrong.

    – option: I would most definately go to your local police department or to the one in the county your daughter is in ( if different ) and ask the sherriff to assist you in what you should do. Best of blessings to you and yourz < 3

  • Adrian

    How do i deal with a school that refuses to release records to me when a judge has ordered that i have access to school and medical records.

    • concerned parents

      Adrian… Supeona the school!
      They cannot refuse you those records ESPECIALLY if you show them the “black and white” proof!

  • nichole

    ok what if its the grandparent that has the kids? she swears she has custody of them. their father is in prison and im trying to get them back from her… all ive come up with is dead ends. someone please point me in some kind of direction….

    • concerned parents

      Nichole… If you are the mother of the children then you can find out very easily if the grandparents acctually have custody of your children… Being as you sound unsure about it, leaves me to assume they are full of crap, because trust me– you would know!… o.O?

  • Gayle Dixon

    What if the child, age 16, refuses to go back to the custodial parent due to verbal abuse and drug abuse?

  • Mica

    There is no custody orders of any kind between me and my ex-girlfriend. Our son (age 7) was born in Wyoming but lives with his mother in Colorado. It was agreed between us for me to keep our son in Wyoming for the rest of the school year due to the fact he is in trouble and will completly fail the second grade…. the question is since there is absolutly no custody order, no court process at all do I have to return my son to his mother in Colorado after my holiday visit over Thanksgiving?

    • yuenkwai

      yes, all states recognize the mother as the custodial parent when their is no order. Paternity test first and file for custody or visitation as soon as posible. If she becomes a resident of another state (which is 6 months in the other state) you will be on the losing end and just get non custodial visitation. Prtition the courts asap!

  • me

    My ex-husband and I had joint custody of our now 14 year old son (we divorced in 2008) and I have physical custody of our son. My question is this, my ex-husband got remarried and moved to another state. Does this void the visitation and joint custody agreement that was in place when we divorced? do I need to file for sole legal and physical custody of our son?

  • Virginia

    I am the costodial parent of three children in Texas. We have a standard custody agreement which states he gets the kids the friday that school is out until the sunday before school is back in session for thanksgiving break. He says he is picking up the kids saturday and returning them monday becuase he has to work, then picking them back up Thursday for thanksgiving.
    Do I have to give them back to him on Thursday?
    I had plans to go out of state for Thanksgiving. I would love to take my kids with me, but the way he wants it, I can’t go with or without my kids because I have to sit here in Texas with them waiting for him to pick them up Thursday????

  • Ivonne

    My fiance’s ex wife is always interfering with his visitation rights to see his kids she thinks she can decide when he can and cannot see them. she also hangs up the phone immediately when she hears his voice on the line and says the kids dont want to talk to you. my question is can he file or press charges on his ex wife for cusodial interference? Also can it be done with a temporary order that has not been sign by the judge because there is no parenting plan but based on father’s rights to visit the kids?

  • Monica

    Can someone who is not related bring a 17 yr old across state lines without parent’s permission?

  • Christopher

    I live in az. I share joint custody of my 2 kids. The mother has my kids lie too me about certain things. Example: Taking my kids out of the designated area & having my kids lie. Total violation. What should I do?

  • Lisa

    I live in Florida with my son who is 7. I have, in the state of Florida, full legal and physical custody of him due to the fact we were not married at the time of conception or birth (and still not to this day). He was just ordered to pay CS and decided the day before the court hearing that he wanted to fight for a 50/50 parenting plan, he even told me that was why (as well as writing it in the request for the custody change). We will be going to mediation early next year to hopefully resolve this issue. My problem is he wants to take him out of state for a week before Christmas and has promised (via text) that he would have him back by Christmas Eve. What are my legal rights if he does not bring him back by the agreed on time? I do not want to keep him away from his family in Texas but I am concerned as he has done this two times before. One time he was three days late and wouldn’t answer his phone nor call me to tell me what was going on. The next time he drove him out of state and his car broke dwown, where-upon they slept for three days in a Wal-Mart parking lot until a stranger offered to let them stay at her house and he took my son there and stayed. I only want what is best for my son and I’m concerned as he is driving again (a different car). Also, it will be Christmas and he never has bought him anything for either that or his birthday and he already is looking forward to being home for “Santa” to bring him his presents. Please advise me on the legal rights I have if he is not returned on time. Thank you.

  • Heather

    My husban has a daughter that is now 10. He was never married to her mother and there has never been any ordered custody for either parent. He has tried her whole life to see her but every time he finds out where she is living the mother moves, changes her phone number and tries to put a restraining order against my husband. We live in utah, if my husband was to pick his daughter up and bring her to our house is there anything her mother could do about it? His daughter wants to come here her mother just won’t let her.

  • CAL

    I am the non-custodial parent of 4 minor children. As luck has it my ex-wife had violated the laws of the State of Florida and becaus she fled the state court refused to inforce the law and have her return. This was in part to me not being able to afford an attorney. As things went within court her attorney and she ram-rodded a court order claiming “shared parenting” with regards to her taking care of the day to day matters and restricting me to only 3 days of visitation per month at 8 hours per day. I am in the process of having this revisited due to a contempt of court isue on her behalf; different story.

    Forward to today. As of this week she has gone behind my back and told the chool where my children attend tht under no circumstance are any teachers or staff to contact me about anything nor respond to anything regarding my children and tht she is to be contacted immediately and given the right to know our private converstions and intervine.

    In addition my daughter, an 8th grader, told me that there is a field trip to Washington DC he would like to go to. As I stated to her that unless I have the information and talk to her mother she will not have my consent to go. I have contacted the school as of this week nd found out that the trip is not sponsored by the school, my ex refuses to give me any information and the school is with holding all information this matter. She has taken the court order and abused it telling the principle that she has sole decisions on all matters and can do what she ants in regards to the children without my consent.

    I have received and email from the principle telling me under no circumstance are they giving me ANY information about my children unless it is approved by her as they interperate what they where told about the court order. He further assumes that he and the school board is covered under our court order, which they are not. The order instructs that she MUST inform me on all matters about the children and work with me in the best interests of the children. The order does not give her authority of allowing or taking the children out state either.

    Now that I laid the foundation I will pose my question.

    First does the school have the right to with hold all information should I contact a teach in regard of my child for grades or otherwise? Is this a form of Custodial interference seeing that we have joint custody as per our court order? I understand that there is a gray line that give my ex a little wiggle room, but it does not pay that forward to the schools, her friends or any other outside sources.

    Please note the same principle and school was doing this prior to our divorce as well during last years school year and I addressed him about the situation at the beginning of this school year to assure that the ame things would not happen this year as well, which was okay until just recent.

    Second question is do I have a custodial interference in regards to my ex-wife?Seeing that she lives in Illinois as I in Florida (for right now until I find a job closer to them) how can thi be inforced should she be in violation? Per the local police in Illinois they told me that they will not enforce a court order in regards to violation or visition only make notes o I can go back to court time and again.

    Where do I go on both issues? I will be retaining an attorney after the 1st of the year, but I am concerned on the enforcement of the curt orcer even if things are revampted especially if my ex-wife decides to leave the state with the children or send them out of state as she has done many times thwarting my visitation as instructed by the court as she requested. What makes things even worse is the complacency of the police to enforce a court order.

    Any advise?


  • Bob

    I live in Ohio and was recent given full custody of my daughter by mutual agreement. On my ex’s first full unsupervised visitation she did not return my daughter at the designated time and place. She still has not returned her. She has not been at school and she needed a medical procedure that was missed due to my ex not returning her back to me.
    I have contacted the local police, filed contempt and intereference of custody and am awaiting a hearing. The ex took my daughter back to the same home she was removed from due to physical and verbal abuse. Is there anything I can do to get her back prior to waiting 6-8 weeks for a hearing as I fear for her safety?

  • Spiritual Advisor

    Michigan Case: Father has physical custody; mother gets weekend visitation (unsupervised). The child is no longer in the father’s physical home, has been moved to his parent’s residence/care. Does this in any way constitute a forfeiture of custody or void the physical custody? Does the mother have to return the child if he is not returning to the father’s residence/care but is going to a different-than-ordered caretaker in whose care another of her children was driven to suicide? Thanks.

  • jevans

    I am a non custodial parent the father to my son will not allow me to see or speak to my son. I am married to a sex offender when we signed the papers for his father to have custodial rights I.was OK that he put that my husband could not be around during visitation. But now he refuses for me to have any contact with himself. He does not let me know anything is there anything I can do. Please do not bash or talk negatie about me being a sex offender I hear it everyday. I think people should know what the case is before they being to judge. Please help I need some answers.

  • Again Really!?!?

    My husband and I have had his boys for the past 13 years their mother has been recovering/relaping/recovering/relapsing to to drug addictions her entire life. My husband has sole custody and visitaion at his discretion. The older two are in college and all grown the youngest is 16 and now out of no where she wants to call and wants him to come live with her and it has become a constant mind game with all of us everytime dad says no he calls her and she calls him……Is there anything we can do to stop with this BS (for lack of better word) she hasn’t given a lick the last 12+ years now she wants to call constantly about his punishments what time he should be able to come home, why he cant go somewhere…. you name it she is calling….Anything???

  • gene

    If the domicilary parent sends a sibling to get the kids on the non domicilary’s visitation day can that sibling be charged with interference?

  • fet up

    I am a non custodial parent, pay my suppoet, see my children etc, My children were taken across states line and the custodial parent took a restraining order on me 3 weeks after the same day I got a visitation order. Somehow th restraining order was dropped..a lie it was.Things landed in her juristiction…and she has gone against the court order 52 times. My kids can’t talk to her, she alienates them etc, they have mentioned that to my family, When does the judge say its enough? My children are hurting. New Jersey law stinks

  • Jessi

    Could I get Temporarily full custody of my niece and nephew once they are placed in foster care? Their parents did not meet requirements to get the children back we want to take the necessary steps for the children to be in a place where there are loved and wanted. Would it matter if My fiance is on the register sex offender list? Would this affect us getting the children? He has been in the children’s life since they were born. This was not a case of having improper activity’s with a child.What would be our chances?

  • Jessi

    Could I get Temporarily full custody of my niece and nephew once they are placed in foster care? Their parents did not meet requirements to get the children back we want to take the necessary steps for the children to be in a place where there are loved and wanted. Would it matter if My fiance is on the register sex offender list? Would this affect us getting the children? He has been in the children’s life since they were born. This was not a case of having improper activity’s with a child.What would be our chances? They are in Pennsylvania and I reside in South Carolina.

  • Barry Pugh

    Far too many times I have seen these types of situations and while many complain, most usually give in. I have been in jail and in prison due to false allegations, but refuse to give up my fight (or should I say my daughters fight). You see, I say my daughters fight because to me it is all about what is best for her. My daughter is 7 years old and in second grade. I have documentation, from the school, which states that while in Kindergarten my daughter was referred to Family Court for PINS for truancy. Also in first grade, same thing. I have recently foud out that while these referrals are placed in my daughters permanent educatinal file, Famil Court will not even entertain looking into this matter until my daughter is 12 years of age, then they can hold her accountable. The fact of the matter is WHY IS FAMILY COURT NOT HOLDING MOM ACCOUNTABLE FOR NOT GETTING MY CHILD TO SCHOOL ( a blatant violation of her civil right to an education)? I have contacted Child Protective Services, yet she convinces the investigator that I am just filing to harass her. My next step is two-fold, contact the local news stations and petition the schoold district and (if need be Washington) for a violation of the 2001 No Chiold Left Behind Act. You see, I do my homework and therefore I believe I have a right to complain. Please keep in mind, IF YOU GIVE UP THE FIGHT, YOU GIVE UP THE CHILD’S WELFARE AS WELL!

  • singlemom

    I live in Indiana and I have a set of newborn twins. We do not yet have custody or visitation orders, but will soon be in the process. Their father is living with a woman, but not married to her. I don’t want my children to be around her because he has told me that she cries because she isn’t their mommy. That makes me extremely uncomfortable. Also the neighborhood they live in is very dangerous, with 90 sex offenders within one mile of their home. Will the court allow a provision that they not be around this woman and that they not be taken to that neighborhood?

  • stephen father of 2

    So me and my wife are legally seperated since 6/11 she is pregnant since 7/11 with a man whou has assaulted her broken her wrist and threatened me via text from her phne we were in diff states so the police did not follow up on the harrasment. sh has now moved to where i live brought him there are no papers yet but shes telling everyone im going to jail and has threatened to kill herself via text then doesnt remember doing it can i get full custody based on their history and her mental instability she has charges against her for child abuse and hes been arrested several times recently im terrified if i let her see them she’ll take them and run shes homeless 6 months pregnant jobless and doesnt think he will harm the children but people keep telling me hes nuts… and if i get her to notarize a document stating she will grant me full custody untill a court decides on custody in exchange for visitation will the poli ce enforce it

  • Confused

    If a almost 15 year old runs away from the custodial parents home, to the non-custodial parents home (across state lines), and of their own accord. Will the child be forced to return if they are refusing?

  • Sam

    My fiancee walked out on me and my two kids, I’m also 8 mo preg. I have no income and I’m unable to work. My bills are due and I have no way to pay them. There are no “legal custody” papers or anything. My parents live out of state, If I was to move to have help, would it be illegal? If not, if he tried to get custody, would I have to come back to my current state, Louisiana?

  • Rod

    My ex-wife, the custodail parent, planned a vacation to Mexico over this Memorial Day weekend. The Parenting Plan shows that I am supposed to have our daughter that weekend. I have emailed my ex-wife 4 times asking if she would allow our daughter to spend her Spring Break with me although it’s not my planned visitation this year. I did that instead of causing an issue over my ex planning a vacation that takes our daughter out of the country during my planned visitation. What can I do if she doesn’t reply and goes ahead with the vacation plans?

  • Terry

    In Florida, even though I am the Primary Physical Residential Parent, the police claim that it is a civil matter and they cannot get involved. They tell me I have to go to the court and file paperwork. My ex will typically hold our daughter many days after the scheduled visitation. Don’t know what to do as it costs money to get a lawyer and fight this.

  • Collateral Damage

    My friend has joint custody w/ his ex (who is the spawn of Satan) and she is the Cparent. She has manipulated the court system w/ lies and at the present time my friend is in custody, but on work release, until he catches up on his child support. She had him picked up on the CS warrant the day after Thanksgiving. His work release hours are from 6am – 10pm daily and he has been told by the judge that the time he is not working between those hours is his to do whatever he wants. He has not seen his kids in over 3 months and they cut off all contact with him about a month ago. We are certain that she has caused the communication to stop. He filed a motion to find her in contempt, but the motion was denied stating that in his divorce decree it states that no motions can be heard in family court without first going through conciliation. What does he need to do to get in front of a judge to get her charged with custodial interference and alienation of affection? Please help!
    I am not directly involved in this mess, but I am supporting my friend because every dime he makes goes to his child support so he can get out of jail!

  • Dee

    how long do i have to wait to file a child abduction report? my sons father and i have court papers stating he is to drop him off at 8am,and sometimes doesnt drop him off until 10am or 12pm, or sometimes tells me to go pick him up.

  • Sherri

    My question and concern is that my ex husband who we have joint legal custody of my children with him having physical custody has decided that he can suddenly make me speak to my children via the phone being on speaker phone so that he can listen in on our conversations. I have never said or done anything inappropriate to my children and our current agreement does not say anything about him being able to do this. He is showing all the signs of Hostile Agressive Parenting and yet no one will help me. I also am concerned that he may have hurt one of our children and is afraid they will disclose it to me. His claim is that he has the right to do this because they children “act up” after speaking with me. Which I would like to add is normal as it reminds the child how much they miss me not because of anything I am doing or saying that would be inappropriate. Please help What do I do?

  • Cresenthia soto

    I have two question? First one is My daughter got tooken away when she was 3 now she about to be 5 , due to she was around my sex offender boyfriend. Her father got temp custody off her. we never went to court they had me attend classes and therapy i finished i got a call from my therpist that my case was closing tried to get in touch with my case worker letting her know i knew it was closed in oct that same yr. I havent heard from them but her father and i agreed to keep her with him due to school. I want to get her back what do i do. i have always visited her i keep her on weekends and i pay half for everything i take her to Dr. visit. she wants to come live with me. Boyfriend is locked up wont come out till he his time is up. so that is not a problem anymore.. can i get her back. now my second question is i have a son by him and when he comes out can he see his son?

  • Tammie

    In AZ if the parents are not married the mother has sole custody unless the father files for paternity. My friends son has been taken away from her by the babys father. He refuses to return the baby and she is not sure where they are at. How should she proceed?

  • betty

    what will happen if my sister in law kept her kids after visits becuase she was told by the childrean that they are being sexually abused and physiclly abused and she has been told by the police that she will be chared with prental interferince if she dose not give them back but she has filed a protection oreder but has not gone to see the judge about it to get it issued .

  • betty

    depends on your state

  • Lia

    so my husband is in jail now for ‘interference with child custody’ we’re in TX. the mother of his child is in another county.. she lied in her sworn statements saying my husband came and took their son out of school months ago without informing her, which is a lie because he has text messages later in the month of Dec asking if she was coming to get their son or if he was going to bring their son to her?? hes been in jail for 8 days now and still hasnt got a court date yet or bail. why was he arrested if after they came and took his son, he hasnt been to that county or even tried calling?? what could she possibly reported? they arent telling me anything???????? HELP!!

  • Anonymous

    In the state of maryland can you give up your rights and be free of child support? My stepsons mother is always causing fights and stopping us from seeing him always breaking court order we always take her for contempts and she always wins even when she is completely wrong. We have no other choice its no longer in the best interest of our son for us to be in his life its always a fight and a constant battle in front of him

  • Dallas

    My wife and I are separatedand have 2 children. One of which is not biologically mine but I signed the b.c. And have been there from day one. There is no order in the courts for custody or visitation. When we separated I had them every other weekend. She moved from place to place to place for over a year. The conditions continuously got worse. Finally one day she told me she was being kicked out due to accusations of drug use/sales. I then took full time custody of the two children. I have a steady job, a clean home, transportation, and am enrolling my kids into school. She has no job no car and lives in and out of shelters. I agreed to letting her see the kids under certain condition. She has called the police on me ” anonymously ” telling them that the kids were being abused. The officers come in, wake my kids up at 11pm to ask them questions. Afterwards they tell me I’m doing a great job raising them. Now I don’t want her to see them until I take it to court. She is threatening to show up at my home ( against condition of visitation) and have me arrested for withholding custody. Should I be worried?

    • CAL


      Here are some things to know and understand when it comes to Child Custody. Understand this comes from someone who is not a lawyer, but one who is extremely versed in Child Cutody and Family Law as I have been fighting for visitation and communication with my 4 children over the past 3 years representing myself for the most part.

      1) Unless there is a PROVEN criminal background on the behalf of the mother of your children there is not much you can do until you go to court. Even when you go to court the judge will not care about you or her only the best interests of the children. Unemployment, mode of transportation and undocumented accusations do not hold up in court nor does a police report unless there has been an arrest.
      2) The mother typically will have an advantage over a father as long as she is found fit and does not screw up by thwarting a court order or creating a crime.
      3) Until there is a court order established there is not much you can do, but….

      As a father myself there are still options you have and need to do as soon as possible to cover the best interests of both yourself and your kids. I do not know if you have a lawyer, but if not consult with one. All the time remember it is not about you or her, it IS about the kids.

      Every state abides by the UCCJEA laws and has state statutes that follow suite with some slight variations, but in the end the Federal and state laws will allow for a judge to have some slight latitude in making the final decision with respects to the children as each case is different (in my case well I won’t go there).

      My suggestion to you is put together a parenting plan that you find in the best interests of the children with respects of visitation to the both of you as the kidswill need both parents but for different reasons. YOU can obtain these forms either online at the courthouses website or in person.

      Next if the children’s well being is in jepordy file (understand each state calls them something different) a restraining order or an order of protection on the behalf of the children. This will get before a judge much quicker than waiting for a custody trial as it is required to be heard in lesst han 30 days in there is a threat posed (which sounds like it in your case). When you go before the judge make sure that you have your parenting in hand which will immediately establish the rules for visitation until the time of the custody or dissolution of marriage is to be heard.

      I cannot stress this enough; document, document, document. The more notes, witnesses and police reports you have the more solid your case. ALWAYS have a witness with you upon exchange of the children, prefered someone they are comfortable with (grandparent, friend or other family member) that can claim withness to the situation. NEVER EXCHANGE AT A POLICE STATION as this can be traumatizing to a child and create stress hurting your credibility.

      Remember if she screws up it is not your problem, it is hers. Upon that notion document. If she trys not to stay with the schedule file a police report, discreately. You will need to bring the issue before a judge at that time.

      Also familiarize yourself with the local and state laws. Fortunately the state of Texas is one of the best when it comes to custody and family matters. Do not feel afraid to consult witht he local authorities as she may put you on a guilt trip, just don’t do so in front of the kids.

      I hope this helps as I have had to blaze the way with my experience and still fighting on. Good luck and I hope to hear good news about things for your kids and even that she do the right thing for their behalf.

  • stac

    My sister has moved many times with out letting her daughters father know an has changed her number with out informing the father they have joint custody can this be considered kidnapping we live I
    n Nebraska

  • stac

    The father of my niece is taking my sister to court for co
    ntempt but im in fear he will also get her on kidnapping because of her actions

  • michelle Self


    • stac

      I know you can go on line an get all the forms to fill out on for contempt charges. An do it your self the online location where forms are found also gives you all the tools u need in the court room too

    • CAL


      First let me tell you I understand your pain first handed. Over the past 30 months my ex wife has made it her mission to keep me from the court ordered visitation with my 4 children. She has gone to the extreme of moving 1300 miles away, using police intimidation, she has pulled butchers knives and has told the children if I come up I will kidnap them and take them back to Florida. As of yesterday I was informed that I had a court date this morning in front of a judge in Chicago to eliminate my visition with my kids.

      I don’t mean to bring you my horror story to scare you only to tell you that you may have a long road ahead, but don’t loose hope. As a result of her actions I hired one attorney in Florida to file the contempt order and may have to hire another there and I don’t have money for either.

      Here is my advise. Go to legal aid. Each county in the country has some form of legal aid. In Florida for example if you can show you are indegent they will take your case probono or help you in some form. Other states like Illinois with give your a half hour of free legal counsel. Check with the county clerks office (typically the one where the case was filed) and they will help you out.

      Next know your rights and the laws in your state. If you have a court order of visitation the state has their laws which this abides by. It will follow suite under the federal law called UCCJEA. go to Google and type in (your state) statute and up will pop the intire state statute for where you live or which state holds jurisdiction. Scroll down to the section on family law (may say domestic or something in that line). There will be a section on child custody. Read up and familiarize yourself with the laws.

      As Stac said the county will have the forms either in house or on their website. Don’t be afraid to ask for help as those at the clerks office can answer some general questions. When filling out the forms add the general info your learn from the site but not necessary to add to the document. When going to court make sure you can state the law and articulate where it is found and stand your ground. When a judge sees someone who is confident in what they are saying they tend to lean in their favor.

      Word to the wise. If he lawyers up don’t let that attorney intimidate you or confuse you with the facts. A good judge will help you through the process if that happens. Do not be long winded but be to the point.

      I hope this helps as I too have and still do have to go through the process. Let us know how things turn out and I hope I helped you out. Good luck!


  • KC

    In the State of Georgia – Does a 14 year old boy have the right to refuse visitation (as the visitation schedule stands)? Would the Custodial Parent be found in Contempt? There is evidence the Custodial parent is not supportive of the relationship with the non-custodial parent.
    Non-custodial parent is out of state. Non-custodial parent has been granted annual Spring Break and 6 wks in the summer.
    The Custodial parent has offered a Cruise for Spring Break to the child without discussing with noncustodial parent. The child is now refusing Spring Break visitation and would like to reduce Summer visitation to 3 wks. His reason – he wants to stay home to golf and spend more time with friends.
    This is not the first visitation dispute. The Custodial parent was found in contempt 4 times in another state. Every Spring Break and Summer the Custodial parent has given the child reason to want to spend less time with the non-custodial parent, usually scheduling Vacations and fun activities while the child is scheduled to be with the non-custodial parent.
    Can anyone please advise?

  • CAL

    Yes I can give you advise. First I want you to know I am not an attorney but going the the Hell of child custody and visitation has given my great experience.

    The first question- “Does a 14 year old have the right to make visitation decisions and refuse?” This is a big misconception made by those who have never had to deal with this first handed and will tell you yes. The truth is opposite. Under the federal law for child custody and jurisdiction UCCJEA a child cannot make the decisions about visitation or communication until they are 18 years old. This is also reflected in the state of Georgia’s statutes (google the state statutes and go down to child custody). Each state is slightly different. The other misconception is child support. Most think this ends much older than the reality which is typically 18 years old not 21 like some assume unless the child is handicap.

    Second part is called “Parental Alienation.” This can be addressed in court but is very tough for a parent to contest unless they have an attorney because a judge finds you are too close to the situation. If I were in your shoes (which this same thing happened to me just last year) file a contempt of court issuance with the court. Remember though this cannot be filed unless you have a court order of visitation and it has been violated. It could all be empty threats to get a rise and if not they broke the law and don’t feel guilty filing.

    I hope I helped. Good luck!


  • JohnC

    Recently dissolved relationship, we have a beautiful 8 month old daughter. Initial custody hearing pending, she filed complaint for sole custody not parenting time and I filed counter-complaint for sole custody 50:50 parenting time. I have been active father since birth, I was there for her first breaths, she held my fingers like handle bars while breastfeeding…I have shared equally, if not a majority, of all at home care. I had the baby solo every other weekend while she worked and we shared all other times. She states to this date, even her lawyer stated it, I am a wonderful father. Her filing for sole custody likely has to do with desire for more money for support.

    Nevertheless, heres the lowdown:
    She left for her parents leaving me with our daughter. She returned 48hrs later and we signed a parenting time agreement that laid out dates and times as well as our agreement for shared legal and physical custody of our daughter that we would follow until mediation. Next business she was in court filing for sole custody. Court pending later this month.
    We followed agreement until last week when she wanted to change. She sent text, agree to this new schedule or I will not transfer custody on your scheduled day. I said no since it reduced my time by half. Next day she refused to tranfer custody, I called police, they confirmed her refusal but could not do anything since no court order. It has been 9 days now. Attempted to file Order to Show Cause but judge would not hear since no imminent physical danger. Emotional damage of being denied access to parent that baby had close to day-to day relationship since birth does not count.
    I know I can file a criminal complaint per N.J.S.A. 2C:13-4(a) Interference with custody (including Parenting time) under 2. After being served with process…prior to the issuance of temporary or final order determining custody or parenting time rights to a minor child…

    I know I can file complaint, the Question is: Has anybody ever done this and do they actually prosecute?

  • CAL

    I will answer your last question first. “Will they prosecute?” Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the short answer is no. Unless you have a court order there is not much anyone can do and unless she does a criminal act (including abandonment, which will have to be proven) you are at the mercy of the courts.

    If you were married to the mother of your child you have more traction, but from your post I am gathering the two of you were never married. Am I correct? Regardless your best hope is to hire an attorney to keep her in line and get a court order.

    I was in the same shoes with my 4 kids prior to the divorce of my ex. Before our divorce we agreed on a parenting plan (which is a joke in my opinion) with respects of visitation and she never obeyed it. She ended up taking the kids out of state as “my mom could died any day and the kids need to give their last rights.” I allowed her a visit for 30 days with return an now 2 years later I have been in court 8 times on custody and visitation as she has tried revoking all of my visitation and communication. She tried this as recent as this past Tuesday.

    The bottom line is a judge doesn’t care if you have a written mutual agreement as it does not count and the police will not care if you are a father with a court order for visitation as they will not enforce (typically a woman) to turn the children over for visitation. All I can say is persist with the courts, learn as much as you can and get an attorney who can fight for you. It will be an ugly battle, so be prepared and hold your tongue.

    Does anyone on this site agree with me that there needs to be a MAJOR overhaul of the laws with respects to visitation. I mean after all the state can enforce child support but they can’t enforce visitation? There is something wrong with this picture.


    • JohnC

      I had to contact a criminal law lawyer. I was informed that based on my facts I could file criminal complaint. It would have to be served since I do have proof that we are already in process at family court, and I have signed agreement as well as case# for when I called local Police Department for them to verify her refusal to release child per agreement. Now, they cannot enforce our agreement since it is not a court order but in NJ I do have the same legal right as parent as mother at least until a court order states otherwise. Without court order saying otherwise it must be assumed that I have equal parenting rights. It will likely be dismissed as most prosecutors prefer not to pursue these charges but it may send a solid message to the ex.

  • JohnC

    Not to mention, the Statute states “…prior to the issuance of a temporary or final order of custody…” but after process was served. I meet both of those points.

  • CAL


    I have read you state statute and all I can say is this is not a criminal law issue only a civil family law issue. I had a longer post I was going to post but had a glitch in connection.

    According to your state statute the only way to loose custody is to have committed a criminal act or domestic abuse to someone within your home. As domestic abuse is so commonly used by women today and you assumed guilty upon the allegations where you must prove your innocence the truth is the cards are stacked against a guy in your state.

    See the attached below.

    The good thing for you in this case is they have protection for direct equal time as best as possible. Their statute actually accounts for a full 24hour day unlike other states (like Florida) where they account soley on time awake less the time in school and that is the only amount of time to be share as the primary gets all sleeping time as it does not count.

    I would suggest that you talk to a couple of family lawyers in your area and see what they say with what the criminal attorney is saying as I find what he is saying is probably not right. Criminal action is just that where it has no bearing on family law unless it endangers the well being of a child (murder, sexual or physical abuse, robbery or drug possession or child abandonment).

    I hope I helped. I know the case is very stressful. Whatever you do always keep a cool head about what you are doing as that will make every impression on a judge.

    Good luck!


    • JohnC

      Unfortunately that bill is not a law.

      I have a family law lawyer, she stated that the Statute I spoke of “N.J.S.A. 2C:13-4(a) Interference with Custody (including Parenting time)” is a criminal statute hence the 2C, I must file with municipal clerk. I’m also considering filing extortion charges since prior to parental interference she threatened to withhold my daughter unless I signed an agreement to reduce my parenting time.

  • Ron

    Great info here! My question is about my X and our child exhange. We meet at a police station once a week and exchange my children, this is the court order as she lied in court and had a restraining order granted out of bitterness. My question here though is about something she does every week. When I go in the lobby, get the kids, and am in the parking lot getting in the car with my kids, a police officer will approach my vehicle and tell m that she has asked them to make sure i hae car seats in my car (which I always do). Sometimes the cop will not even walk all the way to the car and just tell me”you have the car seats right?” They don’t even look now because eery week she does this just to harass me. I’ve asked the cops if I can do anything, they say “no”, if she ask them then they hae to check. I know it’s no big deal as i’m doing nothing wrong here and maybe I should not care in some peoples opinion but I do care and feel like I’m being harassed. It would be a bold move on my part and I don’t even know if I would do it but – Can i file some sort of harassement charge on here?

    • Barry

      It would really depned on a couple of issues mostly the state you live in. Under New York State law you could file a grievance with the Family Court and ask that the complaint be sent to the local District Attorney for criminal investigation of Aggrevated Harassment, and potentially filing a false report. Fell free to write if you havr further questions.

  • Cari

    If my 16 year old daughter comes for a visit and refuses to go back to the custodial parents home, What are my legal rights? Can I get arrested for custodial interference? What do I do to protect my rights, And my daughters rights? Will it hurt my current custody case thats about to go to court? I am worried that she is going to do this, And I want to know I am doing the right thing. I cannot force her to get on the bus to go back to Nevada from Utah. The police told me they cannot force her to get on the bus. So what should I expect? please help.

    • Barry

      That would dalso depend on the state you live in . Under New York State law a 16 year old has every legal right to determine where they wwant to live. They can also leave their home and Law Enforcement can not force them home, simply check their welfare.

    • CAL


      I feel for you as I too am a non-custodial parent (I cringe at even that term as once a parent always a parent).

      To answer your question, you have no rights unless there is a modification to your court order. Under UCCJEA (Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act) it lays out the roll of a primary and secondary parent. A custodial parent has a little more leverage than a non custodial parent. Under this federal law, which each state must adhear to, both parents must encourage the minor child to adhear to the order set forth (obiviously not telling them that only encouraging them to make it work until other arrangements can be made through the court system).

      Your child CAN emancipate themselves from the other parent, but as I stated you must not encourage things like this as you can be accused of Parental Alienation. In order to emancipate from a parent/court order a child must be able to articulate the reason for doing so. It is not a guarentee that a judge will grant it but if the case is strong or even moderate the judge will more than likely side with them as it takes a lot of gumption to do so. Understand this is a very sad option for a child to do as they will find that later in life they may have created more harm than good.

      Now for you. Listen to your child and see if the complaint is truly valid or if it is just that they are bucking the system. If they are attempting to buck the system, stand solid with the parent of your child. This will speak volumes to both your child and your ex and in the end would be in the child’s best interest. Not doing so will enable more problems. If you are concerned about getting in trouble talk to your ex if possible about the situation. Trying to intervene will cause more problems.

      If your child has a valid issue consult an attorney in your area. Seeing the age I think you are dealing with a child (mind you this is outside perspective only) a child who wants to spread her wings and a parent who is just tightening the grasps as a parent.

      Protect yourself and try not to get involved and abide by the order in place unless you are looking for a modification.

      I hope this helps. Remain a loving and compassionate parent who knows that boundaries must be kept.


  • Joe

    I have joint residential custody of my son that me and my ex wife agreed to.I was wondering if we have joint custody but my son lives with me can she take him away from me anytime she wants to live with her or would we have to go in front of a judge

    • CAL


      Barry’s right. The truth of the matter is if there is no standing court order there is nothing valid or enforceable with respects to visitation. Your best bet is the submit a “Parenting Plan,” which can be obtained in your county courthouse and file it with the court. If she is willing, the least expensive way to do it, barring all attorneys, is through a court appointed mediator. This could run you a few hundred dollars but save you great headaches in the end. If this is not possible then your recourse is court.

      Please understand that the court is required to make determination of who the “Custodial Parent” and “Non-Custodial Parent” is. This is for your protection, her protection and the best interest of the child. This is done to establish a foundation of the case if and when it gets ugly (which 9 times out of 10 it does) as well as establish child support.

      Understand just because you have “50/50” custody it doesn’t necessarily work out that way. Each state is different. One state may establish it on a full 24 hour day as most count it on only the waking time the child is home (not including school, agreed extra curricular activities, or average sleeping time of 8 hours). You will need to check with your county on how that is established.

      In my own personal experience my ex agreed to a visitation schedule and NEVER abided by it. We got a divorce a year ago and the stunts she has pulled are callus and careless. After the first year of separation she fled the state and refused me visitation which took a year to be heard in court. Last April a Court Order was inacted according to her desire without my input limiting my visitation to no more than 1 three day eight hour per day weekend per month. Over the past year she has been in contempt of court 8 months refusing visitation. I have seen my kids (4) only twice in the past year. As a result of filing for contempt she has dragged me into court in Illinois from Florida three times since the beginning of the year (who does not hold jurisdiction on the case). Her goal is to waste my finances and time, or as she told me “to destroy you,” so I cannot afford to see my kids. Since this has not worked she has twice told the courts I have abused my kids because I came to see them as laid out in the court order.

      Now I bring this up to tell you it may get worse. Just because you have a court order it does not mean the police will do much for you unless they feel the child is in danger (ie- physical abuse, drug/alcohol abuse or kidnapping). Not turning the child over to you for visitation does not fall under that criteria. They will advise you, as I will, to document each case of when she does not obey the court order as you may need to go to court.

      You will see very soon how long the claws ate of your ex as she WILL come out fighting. File that parenting plan as quickly as possible because if she beats you to it she will get what she wants.

      I hope I helped. Good luck!


      • Barry

        If you have any custody agreement (that is to say) joint custody with residential custody to one person there should be some type of visitation/custody schedule in that order. If that is the case and either party is refusing to allow visitation they could potentially face “Custodial Interference” charges. Research in NY has showed that a person committing “Custodial Interference” could lose custody of said child. Refer to the laws within your state and county.

  • Barry

    With joint custody (rsidential custody to you) in order for her to take your son or keep your son over and above any of the scheduled ordered visitation, you would have to agree to it or take it back into court.

  • jas

    the father of my kids told me he has been filing police reports because i havent been letting him see the kids well thats what hes telling them but the real reason is because i havent taken him off child support he knows where we live and my phone number but since our court date in november he hasnt been trying to see them or call just the few days ago he sat in his car outside my house for about and hour and left didnt even try to knock on the door and than last weekend we were coming home and i saw him turning out of my street with his wife didnt attempt to turn around and come back are those police reports legit can he use those on me me an him had an agreement i take him off child support he stops coming around for the fact that he doesnt want to be financialy responsible for the kids what can i do

  • Chris

    Breaking of custody agreement, what do I do?

    My girlfriend has her daughter 4 days a week and her ex has her 3 days a week. Every Saturday, they each drive an hour and meet at a neutral location to arrange a pickup/drop off. This time, however, my girlfriend went to pick up her daughter and her ex left the neutral location because he said she took too long to get there. He went back home and refused to bring her back. My girlfriend did not want to drive yet another hour so she went back home and is devasted. What can she do? Can she call the cops or does she have to take this issue to court because its a civil suit, not criminal.

    Hopefully this isn’t too hard to follow

  • chad

    My wife and I have seperated she has my child there is no custody order or divorce yet she is a child social worker one state has took her other child out of the home after our break up she has kept my 3 year old from me for almost 2 months now after I had to have her arrested for things she did to me even know there was witnessis she seems to get off and as we all know if you work with all the attorneys and judges on a daily basses you can do as you please can anyone tell me what I can do I have spent every penny I have on the charges I have on her I want to see my child


    My husband and I live in Kentucky, and he has joint legal custody of his stepson but he is not the primary custodial parent. The ex wife slapped a (false) OP on him when they got divorced so she could take the child and do whatever she wanted, and to get child support from my husband right away.

    The OP has been expired for 6 months, and the mother’s behavior and living situation really makes us want to try and get custody. She is essentially homeless and lives with her boyfriend. My stepson sleeps on a COUCH most nights when he’s with her, or an air mattress and has no room of his own there. Whenever he comes over he reeks of cigarette smoke and mold, so I’m certain they are smoking around him (the mother, the boyfriend and his brother all 3 smoke and live in that house.) She has a job as a waitress and can’t afford a place of her own apparently. She did have one place but it was infested with bed bugs and the child would come over with bites all over him.

    While in her care, he also almost chopped his own thumb off due to her not watching him and that required surgery. She doesn’t teach him anything, she doesn’t make him brush his teeth (he does now because we called her out on it and she went and bought stuff so she doesn’t look like a bad mother… too late) and she lied about enrolling him in preschool. He has lived in about 5 different houses with her, only one of them actually with her name on the lease, since 2008. She keeps burning bridges and moving from place to place and the environment is NOT good for my husband’s son.

    On our side, we have a large, nice home and he has his own bedroom AND his own bathroom, and all of the toys/clothes/learning books he needs. We have medical insurance coverage for him, and he has never harmed himself while in our care. We have taken him to dentist appointments and will be taking him to make sure he’s up to date on shots so he can start kindergarten. She hasn’t included my husband in ANY of the doctor’s visits, even though they have joint legal custody and he’s supposed to be involved in medical, religious, and educational decisions.

    Do you think we have a case to try and make my husband the primary custodial parent, just based on the living situation and his health? He is congested and has a nasty cough every weekend he comes over, and I’m really afraid for his health while in that house. Not to mention this house is in Ohio and she didn’t tell us she moved…. we found out from the child! That’s in violation of the court paperwork as well. She has broken the divorce/custody agreement several times and I have them documented. The child would be much better off with us, but we don’t know if the courts will make that change based on that.

    Any advice would be very much appreciated. I just want to help my stepson before it is too late and he just follows in his mother’s footsteps.

    • CAL


      I read your concern about your stepson. Seeing your husband is the non-custodial parent you raise good concerns but I don’t know if most of them would be good enough to overturn custody with the exception of one unless you have very good evidence that he is in danger.

      Let me explain. Regardless what the law says the mother has the upperhand unless one of two things happen. The first is the mother would give up her rights as being custodial as the second is that she is unfit and the child is in danger. So with that being said to say that she smokes around the child, doesn’t teach him anything or some of the other things you said will not stick as this is personal opinion unless you have a judge that shows you sympathy. The only way any of that would stick is if you can prove it is abuse and a judge agrees. The only way you will be successful in that is to high an attorney then after the money is spent you would have a chance that goes from 30% now up to say 75%.

      One thing you did mention that would work in your favor, well two is an unstable environment and that she is residing and taking him over state lines. Now I cannot say that a judge will automatically give the primary custodial rights over to you but a judge will look adversely against her and your chances are much better until she fits for custody back after cleaning up her act.

      Your very first approach will be to get legal advise and possibly file a contempt of court order. This will get the ball rolling in the right direction for his protection. If you are concerned about his safety, and from what I read you are, have a well visit done by both DCF (Department of Children and Family) and as it continues by the local police. Having them go out is cheap insurance for you and for the child which does not institute the need of an attorney.

      When they go out the will do a report, or in DCF’s case an investigation. If there is an issue they will take the matter to court and fight along side you and you can not have a better advocate. They will be the ones that if there is something wrong you will have a 100% chance of winning should the child be in danger in their opinion. The judge will give a lot of credence to them as they do not have a direct emotional connection to any one person.

      That is my two cents and I hope that helps you out. Trying to run with this on your own may be a very expesive and difficult battle to win, but understand your child is worth the time and resources.


  • Bill

    I have a standard visitation order of every other weekend and 3 hrs on wed on the off weeks. Because of my work schedule, which my work changed, i have been having to work saturdays now. This change is not permanant, and now she is stating that she wants to go by the court ordered standard visitation. She wants me to get children on sunday morning and bring them back sunday night. This is the first weekend coming up that I have been on this schedule. I will be asking her if I can keep the children till tuesday morning where I will see them off to school. My question is what trouble if any can I get in with the courts if I dont get the children on friday like we had originally planned? I will be at work, and I have proof as my pay stubs show the actual dates worked. I work out of town, normally anywhere from 200 miles to sometimes over 1200 miles from home. So its not practicable for me to just get the kids after work. I have worked away from home for almost 13 yrs, so this isnt something that I recently started. Basically Im guessing she is mad cause after almost a yr or hearings, mediation, and reviews, i had child support reduced.
    Any help is appreciated…

  • jess

    The father of my god child is a liar, thief, manipulating, abusive both physically and mentally pretensious sperm donor. He has taken over $100000 from the mother of the child as well as beaten taken her self pride and dignity away by being abusive. I know he has hit my friend while baby was in her arms and been extremely violent in front of the baby. He has a record of violence and recent insurance fraud. The mother moved out of tgr home and agreed to let him keep her for one night. He never returned her and filed for full custody. He kept her for two weeks from her mother and I. I was in the delivery room he wasn’t I brought them home from hospital he didn’t. I had night shift for the firs 3 months of this baby’s life as well as babysat all the time. She calls me mommy as well. The dad “allowed” the mom to keep baby for last 4 nights but now wants her back. Court date is not for another month and I had her for one night and 1 I brought her to her mom she cried like I had never seen her cry before because she was scared she may not see me for a long time. This baby is so nervous and scared and I know his personality and truely think he is a danger to her. Can the mother keep the baby until the court date. He only has temporary full custody because he filed first and he allowed the mom to have her.

    • CAL

      Wow, your info seems a little confusing to me. Let me see if I understand.

      You are the Godfather of a child and the child and mother are in an abusive home? The question you are asking can she get temporary custody until they go to court?

      Well I don’t want to sound rude but if she left she should had never left the baby. That is the bottom line as it will be difficult to get the baby back without a court order or DCF/Police jumping in.

      Here is my suggestion, take it for what it is worth and understand things are a little different from state to state. First she needs to go to the courthouse and file for an emergency hearing. At the courthouse they will have a form for her to fill out on domestic violence and child endangerment, each state calls it something different. When she files this it will be helpful to do so with a police report that shows there is domestic violence. This is required by law to be heard in an expeditious manor (1-2 weeks).

      After this has been served and filed it will be adventagious to call DCF (Department of Children & Families) as they will do a report and investigation. Once that is done, if child abuse/child endangerment is prevelant they WILL petition the court for an immediate hearing and possibly an arrest if things are grossly negligent.

      It is always good to get legal advise on the matter as they can navigate better within the local codes and laws. If she cannot afford an attorney she can call the courthouse at which time they can direct her to some form of legal aid in the area where they may better service her needs.

      I hope this helps and keep us in the loop.


  • Isabel

    My husband’s ex-wife, is refusing to let him see his kids. He pays child support regularly, but she is upset he has, what she calls “the other family” I dont know who we are suppose to talk to first, do we call cops to file a report and get a case number? or do we contact a lawyer first? We would like to know what are options are. He lives in the town where the divorce was finalized. She lives in another town. Who and where to talk to first?
    Thank you

    • CAL


      I read your concern and my heart goes out to your husband as I am dealing with the same thing but not as an excuse as a new family only as my kids are being held as ransom.

      At this time there is NO safety net to ward off this kind of behavior only a safety net to assure that child support is paid. Seeing that this is the case calling the police will do nothing more for you than what I will tell you as the will say the same thing. You will need to go back to court on a contempt charge against her.

      This is what you will need to look at though. If she can afford an attorney you better find a real good fathers rights attorney and make sure they will fight for your benefit which may have to include a modification of visitation including a clause for penury should she violate the court order again. This could be a fine, jail time, community service or something else. The reality is unless you have an advocate that WILL PROVE parental alienation you may not receive anything more than her getting warned unless she has done something grossly negligent and it works the judge into a frenzy. Only then may extreme action happen.

      I hate to say it but being a man only puts you behind the 8-ball on the situation as there is great sexual predacious in this matter. I will say this though, your children are worth the fight.

      This may require us fathers to unite to change legislation on this matter. If anyone else is interested in this fight let me know. There is more traction in numbers.


  • mike

    I have joint custody of my 12yr. old daughter her mother has physical custody i have visitation days, now my question is her mother is refusing to pick her up at the end of visitation days and neglecting to get her from school, so I am being called by the school to pick her up because she is left up there on days that her mother has custody of her. I’m wanting to know how this can and should be handled I haven’t a clue I am willing and able to care for her if her mom doesn’ want to, she has made several comments that she is tired and dosen’t want to deal with our daughter right now and that she needs time for her self. Is there any specific way I should approach this situation should these instances be documented or reported to anyone please help.

    • CAL

      I saw your note earlier today. First let me say the actions of your ex are heartbreaking.

      This is my advise to you. The interests of your child always comes first. If your ex refuses to deal with your daughter, pick her up from school or be a parent, change your perspective and look at it as another opportunity to be with her. Never lead on of the disapproval you may have for your ex only the excitement you have for spending more time with your daughter. Trust me it will go a long way with her.

      Now your legal action. You must document everything; dates, times, witnesses (school), etc. This will be very important as you will need to go to court. Have the school contact you if your daughter has not been picked up within 15 minutes of release or the end of an activity. Your daughter must be going through stress because of it. Remember these actions are the short term.

      Next evaluate the long term situation. What is in your child’s best interest? She needs a stable home. If you are willing and able, do it (reality is being a parent you better be willing only because it tells your daughter that both parents are willing to abandon me.) Once you have established a game plan put it on paper and present it to court. You may actually get custody, child support, tax deductions and best of all your child.

      Reporting things will only give you a piece of paper. Documenting things with the school will be a greater help than reporting to the police in this matter, but you must take this to court as she (your daughter) is at risk and do so under an emergency modification of visitation explaining the situation. You should have a court date in a few weeks. This is for your daughter’s protection. Be forewarned you will have a fight on your hands with your ex once she is aware that this is going to court and it may get ugly as she will try to protect her reputation.

      I hope this helped. Good luck


  • stepmom

    Last week my step son told his mom he was going to live with his dad. He is 13 and has been abused mentally and physically by his moms boyfriend nd His mother is always putting his father down and myself. They are always fighting. The house has mold n fleas and he just was fed up and couldn’t take it any more not to mention missing a lot of school which is causing all his grades to drop.
    Well his sister is 11 and we allowed her to go back with her mom as she is not old enough to make a decision where to live. She has confirmed everything he brother said and is made to feel bad any time she says something nice about us but if she lies and makes up bad things about us her mother get happy and gives her attention.
    We went to pick her up for her week at dads as we have joint custody and joint residence. Her mother had her hid out of the house and handed a letter stating a bunch of lies and said she’s not coming home as she is scared. Meanwhile she called 6 times saying she missed us that week at her moms. We are really worried but don’t know what to do and its the long Easter weekend. We don’t even know where she is and what they did with her

  • just the aunt

    My sister left her husband in missouri and came to my house in texas. She has 2 kids a boy his dad is deceased and a girl by her husband. 36 hours later she was arrested at my home in texas and has been in jail for 6 weeks now. her husband came to texas 2 days after she ws arrested to pick up the girl but left her because his lawyer called me and said they want both kids and i said no the boy im his next of kin. he went back to missouri and didnt tell noone. i have offered him to come see her and he refuses everytime. I put the kids in school and they been there for 6 weeks now. my sister is still in jail awaiting extradition. what do u do when the judge is her husbands cousin the police dept is related to him and they all laugh when anyone calls to get info in missouri. the place they were living was rediculous and screamin fighting and yellin. My sister left like she did because thats the only time she was alone. it id 3 familys in a trailer and my sister is disabled . Can i file abandonment on him for leaving a 7 yr olfd in texas and her mom is in jail for kidnapping her.

  • questions

    I was wondering if it is legal for me to live with my father when i was young his rights were terminated I’ve never know why but my mom has never enforced it and i have stayed weekends and weeks in summer with him but know she wont let me live with him.

    • CAL

      To answer your question fairly more information must be gathered.

      If you are over the age of 18 and did not press charges yourself you are okay to do so as the order which is enforceable pertains to minors unless otherwise stated (handicap or judge’s discretion). If you are under the age of 18 you can file a motion to have that lifted which will go to court and must be plead to a judge. There is a 90% chance that can be overturned as long is there is no just cause to retain the order.

      It would be in your best interest to go to the courthouse, reference the case and find out the details in the case. If there is nothing glaring male a petition to the judge to overturn the current order.

      If you have children you will need to take this into account according to your relationship with your father.

      I hope this helps.



  • Elizabeth Edwards

    can an exs gf get charged for parental interference. for taking a phone away in her name to prevent me from contacting my son. In the state of michigan that is????

    • CAL

      To answer your question in short, yes. If a person with respects to being the parent or in association with that parent interferes with communication or visitation as laid out in a court order it is either considered obstruction or in other terms “parental alienation.” Remember what I said though as interference with communication or visitation as laid out within a court order.

      Let’s say you are the custodial parent and you ex is the non-custodial parent and your minor child is going to visit his father as scheduled via the court order. If you are calling and disrupting their time together to control or make them miserable or uncomfortable that can be considered obstruction or parental alienation especially if it is execesive. If you have an agreement as established in your parenting plan to call at a set time, say like 9:00PM just before bed and that is interfered with that too is parental alienation.

      Most judges are very causious to go down that road as it can open up a tit-for-tat putting the child in the middle. If this is a continued ongoing problem a judge will more than likely throw the book at one of you. Your best way to fight this is with an attorney as a judge won’t even hear it as he may think it to be frivolous. You will need to document everything; dates, time and incident as this may need to be resolved in court. Your best approach is to keep a level head and if you and your spouse are on talking terms work it out outside of court as for the child’s best interests.

      Now if a third party is interfering and has association with one parent who may be interfering that parent is still guilty as they are culpable to the situation by not addressing the problem as to not directly effect them. The issue you will have is proving the situation as each person is innocent until proven guilty.

      I hope this helps. As I said your best bet is to try to work it out with your ex and if that is not possible then court is your alternative.



  • jas

    well say for intstance im the custodial parent and the non custodial parent (dad) hasnt attempted to come see his kids since our last visit to court november 2011 and i got an email from him saying hes filing police reports for not letting him see the kids again these are false police reports because he hasnt even attempted to see the kids or call and by the way he knows my address and telephone number what should i do is it even possible for him to get police reports without me there?

  • Chrisi

    I have a 13 year old daughter with my ex – we share legal custody in the state of Indiana but I have sole physical custody. I divorced him a year and a half ago because he wouldn’t stop smoking pot – it sounds trivial but it had cost him jobs and more money than I can even think about. Also, I found out his “friend” was also a burner and he would take our daughter over to his house and they would disappear into another room she was not allowed in. So basically he exposed her to his habit as well. There were WAY too many issues to list here but bottom line is I had had enough and I left. I met up with a guy I knew 20 years ago and we got together and I am very happy. Now the new guy, who I am set to marry in the next year or so has a great job. And a major perk of this great new job is travel, I have a chance to take my daughter to Hawaii this summer and maybe to China and who knows where else. The ex has said there is no way he will allow me to trake her to China as he feels it unsafe – he said the same thing about her going with her French club on a planned trip to France. She has worked very hard at French and wants to be able to go with her friends but he wants to stop her. Now all I can see is that he is doing it out of spite. As soon as I marry the new guy, he is putting my daughter on his insurance so she can get the braces she so desperately needs, braces which the ex has no means or intention of helping pay for. When I told the ex that out daughter would be able to get her orthodonics he was upset saying that it didn’t seem right that the new guy could do that for HIS daughter. Its insane. Also the new guy’s job may require relocation at some point and the ex will do everything he can to stop it – he actually told me to take him to court if I wanted to take my daughter on vacation to China. Can he stop me from taking her on vacation? I will at some point have to get a lawyer involved I am sure but up until this new job money has been tight and now that things are finaly turning around for us, the ex wants to cause any kind of trouble he can.

  • Barbara

    My ex had visitation in his home state of Louisiana. I sent our son and my daughter who “saw” him as daddy to visit. I went to pick my kids up and he went behind my back and got a temporary custody order for our son and my daughter that is not his biological child back in 2008. Would the custodial interference still apply since it is a temporary order? The courts refused jurisdiction on my daughter but they also refuse to give her to me. I live in Oklahoma and was wondering if I filed for custody here I could get them back.

  • CAL

    There seems to be some information missing. Are you saying that your kids have been with him for 6 years and you are now fighting to get custody or are you saying that he instated a custody order 6 years ago and recently dropped the kids off for visitation and he refuses to get them back?

    Either way hire a lawyer as this seems to be extremely messy. If it is the later I don’t see how a court order in another state holds precedence. In which state did you file for divorce and which case heard the initial custody of the case? It will be in that state that jurisdiction is retained unless another state has taken jurisdiction. If jurisdiction has never been heard for custody the first state to have the case brought up wins jurisdiction even if the children do not reside their as it will be left up to a judge to decide that. In order to establish jurisdiction though both persons (guardians/parents) must be served by law as a motion has been filed at which time a court case is scheduled for hearing and a decision is made. If this is not done and a default judgement is issued you must FIRST file a case under violation of civil procedure where that case was heard. Only after that case has been heard can another custody case be filed once that one has been thrown out.

    This is a very messy thing to do and I know first hand the issue as my ex has tried something simular. As I did, you must read up on the laws of both states with respects to civil procedure and child custody. Under child custody each state has signed that their state constitution will abide under UCCJEA in particular Section 201. This federal law states that once a state holds initial or excessive jurisdiction no other state can interfere with a judgement on the case unless one of two things happen. The first being no jurisdiction has been established or two all parties no longer reside in the state that holds said jurisdiction.

    With that said even if you have a court establish an order it is very tough to have another case uphold the first state’s court order unless either state establishes the action of one parent as criminal in nature.

    I hope I helped as you have a very difficult case at hand. Don’t give up as your children are worth the fight.



  • Barbara

    I have been trying to get them back since 2008. He has them in Louisiana. He has a temporary custody order from Louisiana. we were divorced in California. I have been trying but most lawyers hear my situation and run. I sent them to Louisiana in 2008 to visit and he got temporary orders without my knowledge. I went to get them and he had papers ready to charge me for kidnapping. I barely get visitation or phone calls. I am constantly monitored and they refuse to tell me why my child is going to a psychatrist. I am still hoping to find that one lawyer that will take my case! Thank you for the help!

    • CAL


      Your case is very involved and complicated. My heart goes out to you on this as I am going through something very similar on my end as my ex took our 4 kids to Illinois which I granted her 30 days to see her ailing mother and she never returned. The courts in Florida shifted the case and by the time it was heard the kids were gone for a year and the judge acknowledged she broke the law but wasn’t going to do a thing about it. He put together a visitation schedule and she has refused to abide by it threatening me when I come in town or schedule to do so per or court order and has now in the past year has tried changing jurisdiction, dragged me into court in Illinios more than 3 times just this year on allegations of domestic violence and child abuse and has furthermore promised to destroy me.

      With all of this being said you will need a very good attorney as this is an up hill battle for you. You will need someone who can get to the bottom of the original case and convince a judge that the order he has is in violation of the order of jurisdiction and is an example of parental alienation.

      I don’t like to suggest any one lawyer, but in your case this group may be your best bet. They are a fathers rights attorney and should be able to navigate you through this mess. They are located in many states and found in both states you are talking. Give them a try as I hope they can help.



  • ML

    I am in the process of divorce. My soon-to-be ex has been the primary cusotodial parent of our 1 and 3 y/o sons. There is not an official court order regarding custody in place yet. One of the primary reasons I decided to divorce is due to her extremely controlling, abusive, and paranoid behavior (she has refused professional help). I have had 2 psychiatric hospitalizations due to depression, PTSD, and suicidal ideation and have fully complied with treatment recommendations. I have maintained my job (I am the sole source of support) through this all. Now she will not allow me to see the children unless I also see her (she does not want a divorce). She finally consented that I could see the children with supervision of certain people that she designates. My questions:
    1) Since there is not a court order currently, is this custodial interference? 2) How will it likely impact the impending court order? 3) Will my psychiatric hospitalization negatively affect the court order regarding custody/visitation? Thanks

  • Laura

    We live in Ohio. My husband’s ex is custodial parent of my two step sons. One is almost 12 years. She says he does not always want to come for weekend visits. They are court ordered in a very specific parenting plan. We have them about 40% of the time. She asks if we will be ok with him not coming if he doesn’t want to, to make him happy. We disagree with it. We don’t believe he is old enough to have this choice OR that staying away from his father is what is best for him. She says that we are “under a misapprehension if (we) think the court expects parents to force their teenagers into unwanted visitation.” But everything I have found, says exactly the opposite. That if the plan says they should be here, they should be here, regardless of if the 12 year old wants to. She says she will call the GAL and that she will talk to my step son, and that they will change the plan. We are a good household. We love the boys. Take good care of them, and do fun things with them. We are more strict than their mom’s house, and that may be annoying to my step son, as he gets older, but there is no actual reason to alter the plan. Would my 12 yo step sons opinion be enough to change plans in OH? (Franklin County) Thanks.

    • CAL

      I read your concern. According to UCCJEA (which all 50 states signed onto) a minor child, one under the age of 18 cannot make the decisions of visitation nor can a custodial or non-custodial parent alter a standing court order. It is required by both parents to encourage a minor child to go with the opposite parent regardless of their wishes according to the court order established. This does not mean one parent can tell a child that they must go because the court order says so. Not doing so is an act of parental alienation.

      I know what you and your husband are going through as I have four teen/preteen children which my ex-wife tells me all the time that the kids don’t want to see me and has used every tactic to try to keep them from spending time with me including intimidating them in front of the police and taking me to court requesting my visitation to be revoked because she says that they say under pressure that they do not want to see me or talk to me. I wonder why?

      Well with all of this said the bad thing is a judge us highly reluctant to enforce a court order of visitation. Worse off a police office WILL NOT enforce a court order of visitation, but trust me if you miss a child support payment you can go to jail.

      Out of technicality this needs to be taken back to court. Depending on the judge it may or may not get addressed but a judge is required to review and enforce a court order yet is also given leway under the law to make adjustments. This could be fines, which is less likely as a judge assumes that a mother does not have the means to pay, he could issue time to be made up or go to one extreme or the other by doing nothing or changing who with be primary care giver.

      On paper everything will look perfect but in reality it may not work out.

      There is only one way a child can make a decision to not associate with one parent or the other and that is through emancipation. I do not like to bring this up as it is a very ugly thing which can be used to manipulate a child to hurt the other parent. When this happens the pain of rejection is intensified. If a judge feels that one parent has coehorsed a child to file for emancipation he can hold that parent in contempt resulting in possible jail time, change guardianship or flat out refuse the case in it’s entirety.

      All I can tell you is it is best to hire an attorney in this matter if it cannot get resolved for the sake of the children. Both parents must realize the interests of the child needs to come first.

      I hope this helps.


  • shay

    i was wondering if i had any sort of visiting rights as a sibling to see my brother who was taken away by the state in 2005?

    • CAL

      Wow, I never thought about this one as I have not seen a provision in UCCJEA or the State Statutes to this issue. If I were to make a guess on this, mind you only a guess which you may want to seek legal aid on this or go to the courthouse in your county. I would have to say you can file a motion for visitation on the matter where you are telling the judge that you want to see your sibling that you have been separated from and see what a judge says. You will need to know where he lives as the parent must be legally served with the court documents.

      I cannot tell you the outcome as this could be a sticky situation due to jurisdiction, time, age and a mess of other things. Try it and see what happens. The worst thing that can happen is you are told no and have to wait until he is 18.


  • Daddy1

    I am in the middle of a nasty custody dispute with my children’s mother. We have been seperated for nearly 3 years and I have had the kids primarily the whole time. She recently has made false CPS reports against me. The CPS worker who came out told me that if she thought I was hurting my kids that she would take them, and that she didn’t believe the alligations and was going to do nothing. We have an agreement of Jon.t custody through mediation but do not yet have a final order. I decided to not allow my children to go stay at their mothers house anymore until I found out when my temporary custody court date was. I did however remain in contact with their mother and allowed her to speak with the kids whenever she wanted and also told her she could come visit the kids at my house. Well 2 weeks ago she called the police and told them I was keeping the kids from her and they told me if I didn’t give the kids back they were gonna charge me with a class 6 felony of custodial interference. So I cooperated fully and she had the kids within an hour. Now keep In mind no visitation has been set nor is there a final order. Because of this police said thar here in Arizona if you weren’t married and do not have a final order the mother has assumed full custody even though I have had the kids the whole time and am on the birth ex has not let me see the kids in 2 weeks and only allowed me to speak with them twice for a total of 8 minutes. I have finally talked her into letting me come see the kids. My question is I want to bring my kids home with me to stay for a week. Can the police really charge me with custodial interference if there is no official visitation set up? Or worse could they charge me with parental kidnapping? I have ever been away from my children for more than 3 days and not being around them is klling me. I am going to see them today and really want to bring them home! What should I do? Just be happy with the visit and wait for my day in court or take my kids now when I have the chance because she may not let me see them again.

    • CAL

      First off let me tell you I know first handed how you feel as my ex has played the same game for the past 3 years.

      To answer your question, the police cannot get involved in the case as it is a civil case to be decided by the courts. They do say tjis to make you do exactly what you just did because they assume the rights of a mother/child is greater than a father/child as that is typically the way things fall, unfortunately. Seeing that there is a pending case the only thing they can do is look to see that the children are okay and not abused, nothing more nothing less.

      Now I don’t want to depress you, but you may have a harder time getting them back as what you have described she may become vindictive to keep you from them. Your best bet is to get a copy of the DCF report as they have closed the case without incident. Your next course of action is to file an emergency immediate return of the minor children. You may want to sit with an attorney or legal aid on this immediately to get it filed with the courts. The judge will have to have at least a plenary hearing to get briefed of the details at which time he may give a temporary order or a permanent order on the situation. If you go this route you will need to explain very concisely that the children’s home is with you and all of there belongings are at your residence and the kids were taken by the police and given to your ex. It would be to your benefit to have a parenting plan available for the judge which shows visitation and communications with your ex as you desire. You will need to do all of this quick as the first one to do so gets precedence over the other parent and more than likely gets what they want unless it is off the wall.

      I hope I’ve helped. Know your rights and protect yourself.


  • Sarah

    My step son has lived with me and my husband for 3 years. He is currently 5 years old. The mother is suppose to see him every other weekend and have 3 weeks visitation in the summer. It has been 4 months since she has seen him, moves frequently, won’t provide a current address, and has never kept regular visitations in the past. She will show up when she feels like it and threaten to not return him to us. We have a very happy stable home for him and are seeking the advise of a lawyer, however, we are broke and are getting a cheap lawyer. Do you think in FLorida my husband will be able to get sole parental responsibility with limited visitation for her?

    • CAL


      Let me say you are probably in one of the best states for child custody, barring my case, as long as she has not left the state or local area. As I am in Florida as well I have had to learn the laws here in depth.

      Here are some of your advantages. The state of Florida, unlike most states has Legal Aid (all states offer legal aid but each state’s definition is different). In Florida many lawyers volunteer their time to community service for their licensing and benefits. If you can prove you are indigent you will qualify for them helping you to fill out the proper forms and give you advise to file and appear in court. They will not represent a man, unfortunately which is an area I am work on in getting legislation to have this matter addressed.

      Your best offense is a great defense. If you gave up the kids you will have a tough time getting them back unless the matter gets settled in court. Under Florida Legislation a police officer cannot get involved in an exchange only be available for standby should a physical altercation occur. This is standard procedure in most states but some police officers enjoy getting involved or threaten for their own personal gain. If this occurs file a report against that officer with the police department. Caution though, you want to pick you battle and keep the police on your side.

      Your first course of action needs to be with the Florida Department of Children and Families. They will do a case study. If they agree with you they will be the ones taking this to court on your behalf. Additionally you may call the local police to do what is called a well visit. If they see an issue of child endangerment they will take the children, more than likely giving them to you until the case goes to court on a criminal misdemeanor. Make sure you obtain copies of the reports from both departments.

      You will want to file, what is called a “Emergency Motion of Return of a Minor Child.” If drafted correctly it is required to be heard immediately (1-2 weeks) as it can be considered that the children’s well being is in jeopardy. The longer you wait the harder your case will be to solve.

      Out of curiousity are you in South Volusia County? I hope not as the judge is partial to a mother’s behalf. Just a heads up.

      I know this is a lot of info to take in, but I must give you one more piece. You will need to look up and familiarize yourself with the Florida Statutes Section 61 in particular (this is something for everyone to look up your state statutes and familiarizer yourself with the laws of your state with respects to child custody). Section 61 deals with child custody and state procedure. These laws are very simular to the federal laws as each state has signed on to, UCCJEA.

      Well I hope this helps.


      • Sarah

        Ty for the response. At this time our lawyer suggest just filing for child support and let her to be the one to trip up during those proceedings. He did say if she dares not return him ( if she ever even comes to get him) he could easly get temp sole custody within days. I hope any parent out there who reads this protects their child and is there for them till the end. Being a mom or dad is more than donating a sperm or just giving birth.

  • Brandon

    im am abused and my mom wants to keep me from dad (custoial parent) she is trying to help me but CPS wont do anything ;(

    • CAL


      In what way is your dad abusing you? Are you going to counseling? If you are have you told a counselor or teacher or someone about what is going on and has it been witnessed by someone else other than your mom? The issue you have is a child cannot make a decision on who they want to live with until they are 18 years old without one acception. In addition since your mom is too close to the situation a judge will not give any weight to what she says unless there is concrete evidence of abuse or infraction.

      If you feel uncomfortable about living with your dad you may file a motion for review of child custody. Now understand a judge may or may not hear the case. If he does you will have to talk to the judge which may be nerve racking, thus the reason why a judge may nit hear the case due to aged. You will need to talk to an attorney or someone at the courthouse where the case has been filed.

      The judge will take into account many factors, living conditions of both parents, validity of abuse, your age and maturity as well as many other factors. IF a judge will hear this case you need to understand that there ate many reprocussions both of your parents WILL have to deal with. Are you able and are they able to deal with them and how will it affect them in the end?

      Make sure you think these issues through very carefully as your parents have a tough time as well through the situation and they must be prepared for what may come. Causion, be careful discussing this with them as they may try to influence you. Talk to an adult about the situation.

      This is a very hard area to give advise in as I am sure both of your parents love you.


  • Amy Meadows

    My ex husband and I share joint custody of our 5 yr old son. He has been seriously going down hill since our divorce 3 years ago. In the past few months my ex has 1: Had on 2 differenct occasions had room mates that have been arrested for selling drugs while living with him. 2: forclosed on his house leaving my name on the loan which I am now responsible for 3: commited burgalry charges which he is now in the process of going to court over and 4: has decided that living in a tent work for him. My husband and I have been fighting this for a couple years now with PFS orders and what not. My question is this: On the last exchange we met my ex and explained to him that he would not be taking our son anymore until he has a residence and plan for his life. Of course he is threatening with court and we are in the process of filing an emergency motion. Is it possible that the judge will still allow him some type of visitation now. It is completely damaging for our son to even be exposed to this. I might add that his father had a past meth habit years before we met that he has beaten (apparently briefly). In the past 2 years he has lost all but a few of his teeth so we are positive he us back on it. But that is tough to prove beyond doubt in court.

    • CAL

      Well you gave a lot of info but here’s the short. #1 is a big issue for him. Comment #2 is irrelevant as a judge won’t care that your house went into foreclosure. Issues 3 & 4 are huge. Has DCF (Department of Children and Familes looked into the situation and your concerns?
      A judge will be looking for a few things. Is the child in danger? Is there a permanent place of residency for both guardians where the child will be going to visit? If either of these questions are answered wrong a judge can do a temporary restriction to visitation (supervised visitation only) for a given amount of time subject to review. Usually this will be 6-12 months to give the parent an opportunity to clean up their act. This is what happened to a young popular female singer a few years back. She cleaned up her act and had her visitation and primary care of the children reinstated after she could prove her stability.

      If you are looking for permanent restrictions the odds are it may not happen unless the matter never changes or escalates.

      Try to be amicable as best as possible.

      I hope this helps.


  • VeeVee

    I was wondering, can this come into play with phone contact as well? My ex and I have shared parenting with free and open communication in between each parent and the minor child (our daughter) at all times.

    • CAL

      Please explain what you are asking. I don’t understand

  • Cassie

    I am the non-custodial parent right now of my kids, my question is, in the court order, I am to be listed on everything, and I found out that I am not listed as my kids mother on their medical records, can i get their father in-contempt of the court order and maybe get my kids back fulltime??

    • CAL


      Sorry for your position as I have been fighting a 3 year battle with my ex from seeing the kids to the same thing you are asking.

      To answer your question yes your ex can be held in contempt and it really is not more than spoken words or words on paper. What a judge will say is that you ex will need to give you the phone numbers, tell him to call all entities and if you do it again I will hold you in contempt again. This does not merit him loosing custody. Once that has been granted a judge is reluctant to repeal that order for “the child’s best interests.” What a judge fails to understand is not acting is just as abusive as getting involved and stirring the pot.

      With that being said you must step back and assess the situation. Is this a battle worthy of going to court? Do I have the finances to fight this case? In the end what am I showing my kids by being nit picky? Trust me if this is the worst he has done, I can guarantee it can get much uglier. I have been there and it’s not fun.

      Hope this helps. Keep fighting for your kids to know you love them.


  • NanaAnne

    My daughter and her sons father have a voluntary joint custody agreement. They agreed that they would trade semesters (the father WAS in college and was home every other semester) and right now the father has my grandson during the week and my daughter on weekends, and previous semester she had him during the week and the father on weekends, etc, etc. Well, it turns out that when my grandson is on his father’s ‘week’ he is not in the care of his father, he is with his father’s parents. They take him to school, pick him up, help him do his homework, feed him dinner and put him to bed. His father is rarely ever even there. My daughter didn’t agree to share custody with her son’s paternal grandparents, she agreed to share with her sons father. Today, she has been trying to call and speak to my grandson, ask him about his day at school, check on him, tell him she loves him, and the grandparents won’t answer the phone. She spoke to her sons father and he stated that he was not with them, but he refused to tell my daughter where their son is at. She hasn’t spoken to him since early Monday. The grandparents have NO court order to even visit with this child, they have NO parental rights, and nothing my daughter has agreed to has suggested they have any rights yet they are interfering with her communication with her own son! My daughter is 6 months pregnant and the stress is tearing her up. She is a nervous wreck and crying her eyes out afraid that they have kidnapped her son. What can she do? Who will help her? She has got to get some help…but just as everyone else, there is very little money to spend on useless attorneys. I’m scared. I don’t want to lose my firstborn grandson to people who are too ungrateful to see that my daughter has let them be in his life to begin with now they want to kidnap him!!! Please, someone offer some help!

  • peggy

    i was wondering my husband divorce agreement from court with his ex wife stating he gets his children every other weekend we try every weekend only because ever weekend she says it is her weekend so if we ask every weekend one of them got to be his she refuse to let us have the kids she tells us she has plans its her weekend she always has some excuse we live in ohio and i dont know how much a divorce agreement holds up but if we showed up at her house on his weekend and she refuses to let him have them can we have the cops called and would they be able to make her let us have the kids since we have the agreement i hope that someone will be able to help me in this because he really wants to see his children she just refuses to let him and he works so hard to pay his child support

  • liberty

    i have suffered, now i know im not alone
    my case is exactly as printed here.
    i want to sue for damaging our bond mother and son. i am now in case #3 WITH DCFS, WHOM GAVE “FATHER” LEGAL CUSTODY)

    • CAL


      What you are describing is called parental alienation. Now with that said judges love to dance around the issue and most of the time avoid the situation. I am currently in talks with a specialist on parental alienation and he may be able to help you better on the issue. His name is Dr. J Michael Bone from Orlando, Florida. Google him and see what he says.

      Now my quick advise. The court order should read that your husband should get even or odd weekends. If it does not you will need to take it back to court for clarification and make up time. Not all judges will instate make up time so keep that in mind.

      I’m sorry you are going through this as I know personally what that is like.



  • mc

    My exhusband took in his 21 year old cousin who was just released from jail and is now on parole for drug charges, possesion and intent to sell. We had discussed him living with him and I was not comfortable with our kids being there with him living there. This cousin has been in jail 2 times for the same charges. I am concerned for our childrens safety. Because I am concerned, can I tell my exhusband the kids will not be going over there this weekend? I plan on going up to the court house tomorrow, after I send my exhusband an email about my concern and how we had already discussed the issue, to file for a modification on parenting plan. Do you have any suggestions for me? I donot want the police to be involved if I donot let the kids go there this weekend and I have a feeling he will call them over to my house.

    • CAL

      If you are truly concerned for your children, file with the courts. You should call DCF as well asking for them to do a well visit where they would be the best judge of the situation and a police officer will only agitate the situation rather than resolve it.

      You may want to do this as your FIRST COURSE of action as they will evaluate those involved as well as the conditions and may file the case as am emergency hearing should something stand out as a concern to them. If DCF finds nothing and you are still concerned then file for a modification. This should only be your last recourse not your first. Try to defuse issues rather than assume there may be an issue that will not exist. Don’t let fear become your friend and keep the children’s best interest in mind first.

      I know my advise may sound unconventional, but save yourself time and money taking one step at a time. Who knows your fear may not be a reality only fear. If it becomes a reality your case is stronger to where a judge WILL agree with you.

      I hope this helps.


  • Brenda

    My son lost custody of his only daughter after the mom went out and got pregnant with someone elese child…she left the state (Pa) and took the child to Tx and never told him…we went through the courts, the whole process….and the mom got custody and was allowed to move back to Tx even though both fathers were in this state.The mom has not followed any of the origonal court order stipulations.The mom statrted taking her to a psychologist (she is only 3) because she said that her behavior was bad,but has not told my son anything regarding any findings…which is in the order that she has to….so I feel for the non coustodial parent it is not right that the other parent can get away with this stuff and the courts just look a blind eye…to fathers.
    My question is…Is there anything that we can do with the courts and who has jurisdiction over the origonal order…Pa or Tx…

    • CAL

      First off let me say that I am sorry you and your son are going through this.

      There are many parts and pieces to your case as I have studied this in depth as I too have had to go through the exact same process. Here is what the law says about the situation.

      Federal Law (which can be found under UCCJEA Section 201).
      (Paraphrased) “The state which holds Initial Jurisdiction holds Exclusive Jurisdiction unless both parties have no further ties to that said state OR Initial Jurisdiction was never established.”

      State of PA- 23PA Const. Statute 5421-5430
      You may want to read this as it specifies the Initial Jurisdiction, Exclusive and what to do. The bottom line of this statue is like most other cases, Jurisdiction is retained by the state where the child initially resided and where the case was filed.

      State of TX- Texas has similar laws, but additional stipulations. This is found under the Texas Family Code 152. The issue with Texas, which not all states have in their Civil Laws of Procedure or their child custody codes, is they actually have a clause allowing them to hear jurisdictional issues with regards to custody BUT it also states that the Texas court is to set up a conference call in the state of Initial Jurisdiction requiring that state to have a Evidentiary Hearing (fact finding) about all matters of the case before they will weigh in on the matter.

      Now that I gave you the facts I will give you the questions which they will ask and you need to think of how you will answer with the child’s interests first in mind. I know that is hard to think about as an injustice has been made, but trust me I have been in the trenches on this.
      – Is there a standing court order of visitation?
      – Has one parent broken any state law and if so has this been filed by the opposing patent and if so when?
      – If the parent with the child has left the state of jurisdiction how long have they been gone?
      – Is there a pending case for Contempt or Emergency Return been filed in that said state of jurisdiction?
      -Is there an active parenting plan filed and has it been adhered to?
      – Has a modification of visitation been filed or agreed/ signed by the opposing party?

      These are very critical things a judge will be looking at. The most important factors to him will be the length of time a child is gone because of the new roots they put down or the roots the parent who took the child has. They will look to see how important this issue is to you. Have you fought for the rights of your child, been active in their lives or signed over your parental rights or ignored a filing that you may be served. Them leaving the state will more than likely NOT be enough to make them return or prosecute them in any fashion as their is no law in either state or federal to make said action criminal so a judge just ignores the infraction as a whole. This is an area myself and many others are looking to close.

      Now what do you do? Each person has a different answer. If you are like me you fight from the home state where you are from and where jurisdiction is filing 2 motions; Emergency Return of a Minor Child and Motion of Contempt (each state may call these a little different). You will need to go to your county website OR the courthouse where they can direct you better. An Emergency Return requires the court to hear the case within 2-4 weeks of filing to the opposing party (unless you are as unlucky as I where there was a change in judges).

      You will need to weigh out which state you would have the as stance in and file there. You have something in PA that can work to your advantage far greater than just a court order. That is there ate 2 fathers from the same area tied to one woman who has children from her. If you know the guy and are on good terms with the same goal you could file a class action suite of return (both of you file the same thing in conjunction of each other under the same hearing). I have not seen it done but it could be to your shared advantage IF you ate both on the same page which could help if she returns by reducing child support and allowing you to be part of the lives of the children.

      You have a lot to weigh out and I wish you the best of luck. This will be a long battle and could last for years. Far worse it will stir her up where she may trump up charges of domestic violence or child abuse so be aware.

      I know I gave you a lot of food for thought. Best of luck!


  • Shannon

    Can a sons mother take him from the bus stop if there is no custody through the courts other than her paying child support

  • CAL

    Yes this is fair game as there is no custody or visitation established. Beware with this though because if you are doing something to prove the other parent wrong or out of spite, what cones around goes around.

    Let’s say you want to take your child to dinner for their birthday their is nothing stopping him from inviting himself to the activity and you can’t make him leave unless an altercation happens.

    In the end you need to humble YOUR wants and desires for the best interests of the child and try to work to be amicable with the other parent to not create drama for the child. The first one to create drama WILL be the first to get their hand slapped!

    Do me a favor with all of this, don’t bate him nor violate his time with the child if it is his turn to take the child to school or the bus stop and I ask the same respect the other way around. You may be marginalizing the greatest thing; being a parent for something minor. If this is import to you tell the other parent and if they deny you that opportunity then respect it. It the end it is the best for all involved because the child comes out the looser otherwise.


  • Tara

    Currently my ex and I have shared decision making but I have primary physical custody in the state of SC with him having visitation in Ga where he lives. Last summer I allowed my son to spend pretty much the entire summer with his dad even though our final paperwork states that the summer should be split. I knew they would enjoy the time together as would my ex inlaws love being able to have plenty of time with him. I had no had no reservations doing this at that time. This summer I am a little concerned though. My ex has since gotten remarried and expressed his desire to have custody of our son. I stated I would not agree to this and we would stick to our original plan of at 14 he can choose. If I allow him to go to his father for the summer, can he claim abandonment? Or if he refuses to send him abck prior to the start of school is that custodial interference? I want to give them the summer together, but not if it will cost me my son.

  • daddy to 2

    My husbands ex wife and him have two kids and in the divorce papers it say that she gets them the 2nd and 4th wkend of the month. She hasnt seen them in 6 months and is 2 years behide in child support. then out the blue she calls up and is now trying to see them. the kids dont want to see her they are 6 and 11. She has told us she will get the LAW if we dont make them come. what can we do? do we have to make them go. Can the county police do anything?

    • CAL

      Let me answer your last question first. She can call the police, they will look at the court order and if the children do not want to go at that time they will not inforce it. They will turn to her and tell her that and if she has issue with the decision she will have to take it up in court. Now if you refuse to make an attempted effort they with note you are being obstructive and may be arrested (more than likely it will not happen as the children are around and that is too much stress on a child.

      You/he are bound to the court order or visitation schedule. Just because she doesn’t pay child support or see the children for 6 months does not give you hounds to break your end of the deal. Your best bet is to take it to court and abide by the requirements of the court order as best as possible. If you are uncomfortable then suggest that you go to a Chucky Cheese of Mc Donalds playland until as supervised until she can reestablished that relationship again. Try to minimize the drama for them and work together for their best interests.

      I don’t know all the details of the case where I am sure that there is much more. Let me day this though, I am a father of 4. My ex can make the exact claim as you that I haven’t seen them in months and the kids don’t want to go with me. What you would not know if I were to leave it at that is she left the home state where we lived, took the kids 1300 miles away, gets half my income for child support and convinced a judge that the only way I could see them is at my own expense on her schedule.

      As I said I am giving you my brief perspective on the little you devoulged. I will say be honorable to the order in place and if there is an issue bring your concern to the court where they will address all issues at hand including the child support. The kids are watching how both will act and they will react according to your response.


      • Stacey

        I love this response and it is so true to so many cases if the parents would just set aside their differences and do what was right for the kids things would be much better. Remember at one point you had enough respect for the other person too lay down with them and create a child the child did not ask to be brought in to a world too be fought over just to be lived and taught by the two people who cared enough for one another to create them lead by example.

  • Robin

    My ex husband pays a tiny amount of child support for 4 children,,He is suppose to take them in the summer every two weeks holidays xmas vacation so on @so on.He never took them in 10 years,,would I get some sort of reimbursement for his time,,@money he was suppose to use,,well Ive been paying it all.Also he has over 100,000 in agriculture property
    not a dwelling either,,wouldnt child support look at that.I only get $300 a month for them,,,he works at Walmart,,Im wondering if I can get some back pay and if child support overlooking his asset,,can someone give me some advice?

  • Brenda

    The only person who gets hurt in these situations are the children…especially the ones who can’t have a relationship with there father (most times) or there mom’s because they are tooo young to decide so the courts do it for them…They shouldn’t have been left to go with them in the first place… They will not beable to have a relationship with any other family members who were in there lives. Then if you want to go to court the normal person can’t afford to do that because it’s too expensive. They need to re-evaluate the court systems and really look out for what’s in the chils best interest….They also need to hold the parent responsible for interfering with the relationship of the non custodial parent.

  • tommie

    I recently went to custody court in which father did not show up. So I was granted full sole legal and physical custody and father gets no visitations until he goes to court and pleads with judge. My question is can he take back my full custody rights. And if so how or what will it take for him to do so?

    • MommyTommie

      I recently went to custody court in which father did not show up. So I was granted full sole legal and SOLE physical custody and father gets no visitations until he goes to court and pleads with judge. My question is can he take back my full custody rights. I know he can go back get visitation but as far as custody is concerned Can he try to get some back? And if so how or what will it take for him to do so? Im in California if that matters. Also if I have full sole legal and sole physical is he still required to help provide financially for his son?

  • RJ

    Here is my question… To the point, my soon to be ex is seeing a convicted sex offender here in Texas. Although I have not seen him around my kids, I’m not stupid! I know she has had him around, just no visual proof. She is confident she has this case won, for the simple reason she says” well I dont have my kids with me when we are together.” how much of a chance do ya think I have on getting sole custody of my two children ages 3 and 17 months? W

  • Maryland Mom

    Hi. My question is in regards to communication. My ex and I have been divorced for 14 years. There has been a standing custody order for quite a while. Recently, since been made to finally pay child support after almost 4 years of not paying, my son’s father has stopped talking to me. My son is 15 and the only communication regarding picking up and dropping off goes through my son. I told him that if he doesn’t let me know when he’ll be picking up our son then he doesn’t go. He also refuses to let me know when he is bringing my son home so that I can make sure someone will be home. He just shows up. The same with dropping off.
    I am in the process of filing contempt charges against him for non-payment of child support. I know he is in violation of Maryland Family Law 10-203(a). My question is…is there a law that refers to communicating? Can I file charges against him for refusing to communicate with me? I am at my wits end here. It is so damned frustrating.

    • CAL

      Your question has to do with a court order and the discretion of the judge. I understand your frustration but the only option you have in this case is to bring it back to court. There is no law about communication between the adults. This is a case by case issue left to the discresion of the court.


  • Nicole

    If a child was taken away from the custodial parent by the state and placed in state custody in Franklin county Ohio. What newspaper prints the legal notice to the non custodial parent that the child is in state custody and parental rights will be relinquished in 30 days?

    My brother’s baby mother moved back to Ohio. He had been trying to find her for years. I finally got a lead on her only to find out all of her kids had been taken by the state. Upon contact with the DFACS rep, he advised that my brothers rights were completely gone and said it would take more money than we could afford to get it over turned. He said in Ohio a public notice is printed and the other parent has 30 days to respond. My brother lives in another state, there is no way we would have known about this so called public notice.

    I guess I just want to see it for myself… I mean they could have made a mistake and therefore a loophole for him to get his son back.

  • Shawna

    I have a joint parenting agreement with my daughter’s father. I have her for 5 weeks in the summer since I live out of state. I am moving back before that scheduled visit, and he is insisting that I do not still legally get that time with her. Is this true? Can he be charged with custodial interferenc for this? Thanks!

    • CAL

      Yes the visitation still stands in tack until a court order is instituted otherwise. Seeing you are moving much closer I would file for an immediate modification of visitation and child support. What you may find out is that you may receive more in the long run which is good for your child and is what he is afraid of.

      I hope this helps. Make sure you have a parenting plan filed with you petition. That is what the judge will look at as well as finalcial stability and stable home and will make a judgement accordingly.


      • Shawna

        Thank you, that is helpful. He claims that it is only valid as long as I reside in the state of Arizona. He is in Illinois with my daughter. Is there any possible way the wording will effect the order?


        • CAL

          I don’t know what county you are dealing with but as luck has it I too am dealing with an interstate case between Florida and Illinois. My case has been taken over by DuPage Co Courts.

          You will need to file what is called a transfer of jurisdiction to have the case heard in Illinois. If you did not do so in AZ it’s okay because once you show residency in Illinois (power bill, address etc) you can do so in that county. I would encourage you to read the Illinois 750ILCS codes. In there you will find the information needed as well as guidelines for transfer, visitation and custody.

          My suggestion to you is to file BOTH the transfer of Jurisdiction AND Modification of Visitation at the same time. You will be given a status hearing date at which time they will tell you things are to remain as per the current order then give you a trial date or mediation date.

          I truly hope the best for you.


  • SJ

    I have joint legal custody and my husbands new wife signed as being the parent with joint legal cusody of my son on his drivers permit. What can I do?

  • Shannon

    My ex and I have joint legal and joint physical my two girls spend two weeks with me and two weeks with him. It has worked out beautifully until recently when my 12 year old has started expressing that she doesn’t want to be at her dads anymore because of his new wife treating her poorly and being mean. My daughter is forced to do chores all day while step mom sits on the computer, anyways. My question is in Michigan what will happen if at the end of my two weeks when she is suppose to go back to her Dads and she doesn’t want to? Can or will the police force her back?

    • Jenna

      Yes the police can force her back and will if he requests them to. They dont like to but if he calls the police and has them meet him there with the custody order the police will enforce it.

  • Y.J.

    I am writing you in desperation. My fiancé, Mr. O. Sr, is currently working in Afghanistan as a government contractor. He is a veteran of the US Army and was in the first push during the invasion of Iraq. In that time he met his ex-girlfriend, S.R., with whom he has a 5 year old son, Jr. O., with. She now lives on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota with her mother and for the last two years she has forbidden O. Sr. to visit or have contact with O. Jr. We have gone to numerous court sessions on the reservation and even with 2 separate court orders allowing O. Sr. to see O. Jr. signed by Indian Reservation Judge no visit has been enforced. Through the 4 years O. Sr. worked in Iraq as a contractor he voluntarily paid $1,000 or more a month in child support and upon returning from working in Kuwait he voluntarily went to court to establish child support for $500 a month back in December. However in that time she has refused to provide him with her new banking information and is now refusing to accept child support herself. She and her family has completely cut O. Sr. from any contact or updates about O. Jr. He turns 6 this month and the last time he saw his weeping father was as his mother dragged him out of his arms in the Rose Bud Indian Reservation Court House in December. Ms. R.S. suffers from PTSD and has attempted suicide in the past and O. Sr. and I fear for O. Jr.’s welling being. From O. Jr.’s own lips we have heard that Ms. R.S. tells him that O. Sr. wants to seal him and take him way and that he does not love him. O. Sr. suffers greatly knowing that his only son doesn’t know how loved and wanted he truly is, and I fear he is on the verge of giving up this fight. Before Ms. R.S. and O. Sr. broke up, O. Sr and O. Jr. were very close despite the fact that O. Sr.’s work takes him overseas. And now there is not contact. Yet, the few moments O. Sr. and O. Jr. have interacted, they were both over joyed to see each other and there was nothing but love between them. We are desperate and simply do not know what to do. This legal battle has been extremely expensive and has labored no results. The reservation judicial system is inept and unsympathetic to a non-Indian father wishing to have a relationship with his son. The odds are clearly slanted against O. Sr. I do not know what else can be done and I honestly do not know what I’m asking for. All I know is that this horrible ordeal is a great injustice not only to O. Sr., but also to O. Jr., who has a right to know his father. So I ask you in shear desperation to please help in anyway possible. Thank you for your time.

  • Portland Oregon Mom

    I have sole custody of my son. His father and I have a parenting plan in place. I asked him if I could have our son on his Wednesday over night and the following day so I could take him on my family reunion. He reluctently said yes. So I bought the tickets. Three (3) days later he pulls his normal “Sociopath” self and tells me I can’t take our son now.
    My question is if I where to just not give our son to him for his parenting time (a total of one (1) overnight and eight (8) hours)…and I cross state lines, because that’s where the reunion is, would I be charged with anything criminal? Remember I have sole custody.
    Also a few weeks ago he refused to give our son back to me and when he was not returned I went to the courts and got a signed document from the judge for the police to enforce that he gives our son back to me. He’s done this countless times. I’m wondering if he can do this to me? I’m scared and the tickets are already bought, my family is just so upset that this is happening, and I am put in the middle of it all. And for what? That I want to have my son see his mothers side of the family once ever two (2) years. Plus its my weekend with our son. Sorry I’m just so sad that I’m being bullied around for nothing. Other than the fact that he is just a controlling human being. And all this past week after he pulled that on me and said that he’s going for Full/Soul custody so I can’t see my son ever again. and then all this last week he’s like can I have our son early? Can I drop him off later? and i’m saying yes, but all I want to do is say NO! but that’s just because he’s being a D.I.C.K. about my family reunion. An eye-for-an-eye is not my M.O. Sorry for going on and on, my heart is just breaking. —PDX Mom

    • Stacey

      From now on get it in writing rather than just a verbal contract. This way when he goes threw male Hissey fits you already have it in write it out and him sign out inn front of a notary public they are free at every bank and court house. This will avoid all conflict later then make a copy off it and give it to you lawyer out send it to the courts but for your benefit keep the original. Just remember always our actions reflect on our children and they did not choose to be born in to fighting parents they just want both of you to love them. So chose to fight away from them and never say negative things about the other parent infront of them. I know this is tough sometimes I an also a divorced Mom.

      • Portland Oregon Mom

        @ Stacey…I have it in text message. But then I have in text him re-submitting his ok. I just don’t know what to do! We have a crazy parenting time plan, he sees out son everyday for 4 hours a day and it worked when I was working, but him always being late made me lose my job and now I can’t find one that will work with the parenting plan because he refuses to pick our son up at daycare or preschool. I want to put our son in preschool, but it overlaps his parenting time and he tells me that I can’t, but I totally can, because it states in our plan that parenting time will not interfere with school. He’s just so controlling and I’m so scared of losing my son. Especially now that I am unemployed, only because of te parent time plan 🙁 I just wish I had the $150 to get the papers filed to get it amended so I can find employment 🙁

        • Stacey

          Call you local legal aid office and see if they can help you many times if they can’t they can suggest someone that is doing pro bono work. Schooling in the courts will always become before parenting time with any judge and being a para in the schools myself I know for a fact pre school is very important. Also look into getting a job with your local school district this way your hours are basically the same add your sons. Many school districts have jobs for paras and for para subs even being a sub gets your foot in the door.

      • Portland Oregon Mom

        Ps Stacey I’m with you 100% with getting it notarized, how ever I can’t even get him to call me back even when he tells me to call him to work on things. I just get sorry busy from him. I just wants son to see his great grandparents before they pass on, they are 84 years old and I just want our so. To know know them. I’m so heart broken.

        • Stacey

          Heck you need to know before you start school now than I think I knew before I started 1st grade. Its not about socializing anymore. The bring your rug days of school are gone there are no naps. Our kids have to know 50 sight words before entering the first day of school and 50 more the 1st semester. by second semester they are expected to know how to count money. Enter hon. into pre school you are doing him a service and let him take you too court he will be laughed out and probably have to pay your lawyer fees.

    • CAL

      PO Mom-

      I was going to respond to you last night, but I was very tired and wanted to address the situation without tying into you so hard. I read Stacey’s response and she had some good points and well not so good. She is correct that you need to get things in writing, but seeing it already is in writing he really doesn’t need to bend to you whims/requests.

      Being a father of 4 who my ex took my kids to Chicago from Florida under the same circumstances I can say I have no sympathy for your story. My ex told me her mother was dying of cancer and needed to take the children to see her before she died, that was just over 2 years ago. Because of sympathy to the situation I gave her 30 days to return. Now 2 years later she has refused to abide to the visitation being in contempt, falsely accused me of domestic violence (mind you I haven’t seen her in 2 years or talked to her in one), have seen my kids only 4 times since she took them and she has asked a judge in Illinois to eliminate all visitation and communication (which they did not have the right to hear as they did not have jurisdiction) and so graciously gave her everything she wanted without cause.

      So with that said your ex is doing the right thing. This is not his family reunion but yours. If it doesn’t coincide with your visitation schedule it is not his problem but yours. At the end of the day it more than likely will not matter to the kids as from what I hear they are pretty young.

      My suggestion is this. First stop demeaning who he is as he is the father of your children. You may not agree with his decisions as he may not agree with yours.

      Second don’t be spiteful. Doing so is not healthy for your and in the end it rubs off on the kids and those your around. Be kind regardless if he is our not. You may be surprised to see he may give you what you want if he sees you kindness and can trust you again.

      Third, pick your battles. This can be a hard one as there may be much you want but you will need to compromise. Understand he will have to do the same. This is a battle about wills, not yours against his but yours against you (will I sacrifice for my children’s best interests; will I heal that the kids have the best life). This is not about you or him but about your children. You cannot control him nor he you. You can only control how you respond to him and his decisions.

      Finally, go to the reunion regardless if you bring the kids or not. Learn how to do things independent for you. Look at it from this way, this reunion is more for you. Change your thinking about the situation. For example, look at it as him giving you a break to spend some intimate time with your family (grand parents in this case) in a much deeper way than being distracted with children that are running around or constantly pulling at you. If they pass and you have that intimate time with them it is rewarding. As I said children can take it or leave it. It will not be until they are adults that they can ask about them. If you have that intimate time with them it is a treasure you can share with them when it truly means something to them.


  • bill williams

    Can someone be sued for custodial interference and if so, is there a statute of limitations on it?

    • CAL


      The short answer is no. It would be nice though. At this time your best recourse is to file for contempt, but if there is slander, which is written there is a great chance you can win on that but that is your best hope.


  • amber

    I am fighting to get my daughter back home. My fiance of 6yrs (not my kids father) has a felony gun charge. He served his time after being sentenced 3yrs ago in WV. He has been out for a yr and everything since then has been good with him, following his probation etc.. He has done nothing wrong and is a very good person, one of the nicest i have ever met. He also treated my daughter very well and like his own since she was born in ’05. They absolutely love eachother! Anyhow, he and i are expecting a baby soon, want to get married, and have all four of us together again. For some reason the system is mentioning that i am with ‘a convict’ and are trying to use it against us. I dont know what to do because there is no reason for his charge to interfere with us all being happy! It does not make him a bad person, he is so good to us, and he makes us happy. Since he has been following the rules and doing good for himself and the rest of us, will this arguement matter in court for custody? I have not signed custody over to my kids biological father either by the way. Her dad is just whining and complaining because he basically doesnt want me with my fiance. Its more of a spite sort of thing towards us. I am really stressed about it, all i want is to marry the good hearted, loving and loyal man i fell in love with yrs ago… I just want to have my family together. I want my daughter and new baby to be together also and have a mom and dad that love them. Thats what we are and always will be. People are saying to tell the system that my fiance and i split up, but i dont want to lie to anyone. I want to say, “what does it matter if he has a felony charge from 3 yrs ago? my child loves him, he loves her! He is a gentle and loving human being. Just because of one mistake, and a non violent one at that, do we really have to be seperated? We want to get married and raise the kids in a normal family!”

    • Barry

      While I am touched by your story and will research for you, I do have to say this. In the eyes of the law you are guilty of one of the most damaging moral issues in our society. You need to be very careful when it comes to your daughter. What I mean is that you even said in your story that
      ” I want my daughter and new baby to be together also and have a mom and dad that love them. ” While I do understand your feelings, you have to be very careful about the way you express them. A statement like that is saying to your daughter that this man is going to be her dad. NOT TRUE! You are also saying to her father that he is being replaced. CAN NOT HAPPEN! You are also telling the legal system that YOU are replacing that childs father.BAD JUDGEMENT! Under the law, this child has one mother and one father. Under the Child Welfare Act – the most suitable parent for a child to reside with is one that will promote a rlationship between the child and its parent. In other words, you would be telling the court that is something you would not do.

  • WVA

    I am pressing charges against my children’s mother for contempt. We have joint custody and I only am allowed 10 hours per week supervised visitation until I finish my anger management. I was supposed to finish my anger management in 2008 but was unable to and now I am four classes away from completion. I have paid child support when humanly possible. For the past five years she has made excuses and has only allowed me to see my children from time to time. In the past year I have not seen or spoke my children at all. I don’t know where they go to school, I only found out where they live because their mother responded to the contempt charges, I have attempted Facebook contact with my children but was intercepted by their mother, my oldest has been to the hospital for a broken foot that I’ve never been informed of, basically, I know nothing about my children. After I filed for contempt she responded making false allegations that I am a drug dealer because I possess a medical marijuana card, an alcoholic, and that I constantly fight with my girlfriend. After our second hearing she was advised by her court appointed lawyer to file an OSC. I have received the OSC and she is asking for sole custody of my children. She claims that she has taken care of the children physically, emotionally, and financially 100% of the time this past year. This is true but only because she has not allowed me to see or speak to my children. The last time I saw my oldest daughter it was for her 14th birthday and I had to go to my mothers house, who my ex claimed as a suitable supervisor, to see her. After seeing my daughter I received a text from her stating that if my mother or I were to violate court orders again she would call the police. After this the rejection of attempting to be in my children’s lives was just too much. I replied with a rude comment using not so nice language but it was nothing threatening and after that I stopped attempting to see my daughters. After my Facebook message was intercepted my girlfriend and I began looking into contempt. I have text messages from the months of April 2011 to August 2011 showing repeated attempts to get into contact with my children and her denying me or blatantly ignoring me. I even attempted contacting my oldest daughter’s cell phone with no avail. I was told in the past by her that her mother checks her text messages and phone calls to make sure that she is not in contact with me. If she were to have any type of contact with me she would get in trouble for it. If she is found in contempt what will likely happen at the OSC?

  • Mae east

    a family friend who was babysitting my child for me took my child and gave him to his biological father without my permission bc she knew we were moving out of state, the father has had very limited contact with the child during his 4 years of life. the babysitter sees herself as the child’s grandmother although she is not biologically related to any of us. the father is now hiding the child from me. we have no custody papers and i don’t have $5000 for an attorney.. how do i get him back?

  • CAL

    There is NO WAY you will get traction on this but without an attorney. At this time you can file a police report, which you need to do immediately then they can put out an APB. You can also press charges on the babysitter.

    You will need to file a relocation notice as well. I hate to say it, and may have heard it already, but you could have possibly screwed yourself. This will be a difficult and uphill battle. Put your moving plans on hold if you can and bear down and fight this battle if you love your child, which I imagine you do.

    Sorry I can not give you better advise on this as custody battles are UGLY as I am working on my own personal as well as one of my good friends lost one of her children today and her ex is wanting to strip her of each of the children one at a time.

    I am sorry you are going through this but act quickly. You may need to file what is called an Emergency Return of Minor Children with the county which will require you to wait and return, but you need to file a kidnapping charge to give yourself traction on this.

    Good luck.


  • Amanda

    my boyfriend is consider the custodial parent per a child support order. he has had his 3 girls for the last 4 years cuz there mother decided to get rid of them. he let them go this weekend and they were only suppose to be gone till today sunday. but now she refuses to give them back. we called the cops and they say they cant do anything, its total bs. he isnt allowed to talk to them or anything. is that true what the girls said.

  • Debbie

    I am the custodial parent of my minor child in VA. My ex and I have a separation agreement spelling out our custody arrangement and visitation schedule. For 3 years he has always paid child support and been a good dad. Recently he got a DUI with our child in the car. Although this was upsetting, I don’t want to disrupt his relationship with our child. Others are saying I should not let him see our child. Is this legal should I pursue it?

  • Dana Lemley

    My ex husband has sole physical custody of our 13 year old son. He and his family had the judicial system in their pockets and of course it didn’t hurt that they came from money. When he and I got divorced he could afford a lawyer and I could not so therefore was not notified of court dates or anything that pertained to our divorce proceedings. He was awarded sole physical custody of our child with a Circuit court Judge taking my rights away. Recently I found out that a circuit court judge CANNOT terminate a parents rights it has to go before the juvenile court, though due to not having 1500.00 dollars up front for lawyer retainer there is nothing I can do at this time. Legal Aid in Alabama is a huge joke. At the current time my 13 year old has been “allowed” by his father to be with me in the state of Alabama for the duration of the Summer. Is that a violation of a court order and what can I do about it? All I want is to be able to see and talk to my son as often as possible and not on my exs terms only.

  • Misty

    I have residential custody of my son, he’s 17. I have court papers with a judges signature. I have reported him as a runaway to the local police who forwarded it to the local district attorney. The D.A refuses to file the paperwork to get my son back. Is there anything more I can do to get him back? Is there anything I can do to the D.A for not keeping my son’s interest at best??

    • CAL

      Sorry about your situation. A court order has limitations to it and most states restrict the involvement of the police involvement which in turn limits what the DA can do. To date only one state, Illinois, has legislation with respects to a child known as parental alienation to prosecute should a child be taken against that of a court order.

      Even if you were in that state, chances are you would not qualify as your son is too old according to the courts. A judge begins to take into consideration child’s interests at 14. Since he is 17 you have to love him back not with force. Be careful aboutfiling police reports as you could be charged with a crime.

      I truly think there is much more to this story so all I can say is put aside control and show your son some love and respect on his decisions as it will go a lot further in your relationship. Otherwise you will drive him away.


  • Cynthia

    My ex husband got sole legal physical custody of my 6 and 4 year old. MY parental rights are still fully intact and According to the current parenting plan and custody order
    Page 7, section 6 .4 states “Unless otherwise ordered by the court, both parents always have the right:
    6.4 (a) To inspect and receive school records and consult with school staff concerning the children’s welfare and education.
    6.4 (b) To inspect and receive governmental agency and law enforcement records concerning the children
    6.4 (c) To consult with any person who may provide care or treatment for the children, and to inspect and receive the children’s medical, dental, psychological records
    My ex husband has instructed his daycare provider to not provide me with information regarding my children’s care including dates and times they are in care. The daycare provider has altered documents and lied for my ex in order to benefit his custody case. The case is in Oregon what can I do to make the babysitter give me the information i am entitled to as their parent, and what can I do to stop my ex from taking my rights away.

  • Brandy Portschell

    this is a crazy law. I was locked up for this. the father of the children brought the boys to me. then he refused to come get them. I got charged. I have proof and it doesnt matter. I had an attorney and still who cares! I feel like it is very unfair. I am the mother of the boys. They cried and dont want to b with their dad. He set me up and took temporary custody and now I cant get mine back. The kids r the one affected.

  • maurice

    my question is if you do have a court order of every other weekend and the person with the sole and physical custody of the child says they are not going to bring your child to you what can happen

  • Concerned relative

    My sister-in-law lives in South Carolina. Her 23 year old daughte just passed from a severe heart condition. Her daughter and her daughter’s 4-year old twins have lived with her off and on for the last 4 years. They lived with her at the time of her passing (Less than a month ago). The twins’ biological father has not seen them in years and up until the time of the funeral didn’t even know who he was. They never married, and, from what I’ve been told, he has shown no interest in seeing them and definitely has provided no financial support. The biological father came over one night and took the children to Charlotte, North Carolina, where he now resides. They were outside and he just put them in his vehicle without saying anything to anyone. He didn’t take any of their belongings and one of the twins has a severe case of asthma and he has no medication.

    Since it was less than a week after the passing of her daughter, no one had gone and filed a petition with the court to be awarded temporary legal custody of the minor children. Now, it looks like a costly court battle is going to ensue. The father doesn’t have any money or gainful employment as far as I know. Is there anything that can be done to make sure the children are physically and mentally ok? Especially the child with asthma?

    • So sorry for your loss and now the loss of the twins in a way, too. You must be suffering greatly. The father has rights, he’s the father. Hopefully, if you don’t make it a battle, he will work with you to stay in touch with the twins and you can all be a family as much as possible. If he does not and it isn’t because you’re trying to take his children away, then you have to check your state laws for rights of extended family. Many states have “grandparent” laws that protect grandparents rights and they get communication and visitation. Just don’t make it a war – make it a family and it will all work out. The father obviously wants his children so I don’t think you have to worry about them being taken care of. He has no gain to take them except because their his children and he loves them. Approach him from that point and I’m sure he’ll understand your desire to stay in their lives. But, if you’re a threat to taking them away, he has no choice but to treat you as such.

  • Disgusted

    There was just a contempt against a parent with five counts, including interference with alternate weekends in the summer. A new parenting plan was signed by the Judge. The parent has not delivered the child for the alternate weekend. What is better to file – a contempt (again) or interference with custody?

    • CAL

      You can file both motions which can give greater validity. A Motion of Contempt and Motion of Parental Interference.

  • billie

    My husband left me and my kids. He is on unemployment and in school full time. Neither of us has filed for seperation or custody. With him gone i can not afford to stay in california and care for the kids. I moved hrrenin april and the kids and him came at the end of may. It is only july now. We have not lived in the state long enough to file for divorce or cuatody. We moved from north carolina but i am from maryland and he is from alabama. I want to go back to maryland whrre i will have a support network to help the kids and i. Only one child is his. Can i leave the state and file for legal separation and custody in maryland wothout his permission. I dont want my kid to not know his father but neither.of us can financially support the children here in california and he can go to school anywhere. I jave offered for him to livenin norfolk va where he would only be 4 hours from us and to meet him half way every other weekend until he finishes school and then we can.arrange to live closer so he can have.more visitation. He refuses and wants me to keep our son here which is not financially feasible with us seperate. Is it parental interference if there is no court order and we havent been here 6 months?

    • It’s soooo good that you are trying to work things out and think about the best interest of your child (even if it’s just one of them). Think about the support you will have by staying there where the father can help you raise the child. So sorry to hear about your separation/divorce and I hope it doesn’t come to that for you. You know you will have your child’s father where you are. Job in VA is not any guarantee either. It’s good you are seeking not to break the law either – too many parents just do it and don’t think about the child. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Personally, sit tight, I know as women when we’re hurt and scared we want to run to something familiar. You have a home for your children where you are and I know you will find work and all the support you need – turn your focus to make it there – if only to give your children stability through the divorce and to save up money. Then, you will have six months there and be able to take care of the divorce there and work out the custody issues. Just please, for the child’s sake, keep your heart open to doing what is best for the child – TO HAVE BOTH PARENTS – and don’t listen to other advice that is contrary to your child’s best interest. I’ll be praying for you that everything works out for the best for you and your family. You have a good heart and I know you will be taken care of and have a good future. More importantly, you are a good mother.

  • Marie

    I live in nebraska and this saturday will be the fathers first supervised visit with my baby, what am i supposed to do if he does not return the infant to me at the time hes suppose too, and doesnt show up at all out of anger towards me?! PLEASE HELP CONCERNED MAMA!

    • If it is supervised visitation why are you concerned about him delivering the child? Why is it supervised? As a concerned mom you need to support the father-child relationship to the very best of your ability. I’m sure you’ve both made mistakes – forget about that and do what is in the best interest of the baby you have created together despite your relationship now and in the future. Love the child more than any agenda to fight or control or abuse the legal system for gain. There is a greater Force watching over what is done to children and not even one little nuance of neglect or control or manipulation to destroy their parental relationships will go unnoticed or avenged in the long run. Don’t worry about what may happen, be a concerned mom and pray he shows up and don’t do things to make him angry – neither of you need to have your baby suffer because of your inability to have a relationship. Be a good mom and don’t use that to ever try to hurt your children(s) other parent. Best of luck!

      • Marie

        Im concerned because he has a felony domestic abuse charge against him for the girl he was with before i met him..which i didnt find out about until my daughter was 4 months old!! He beat up his 7mo pregnant girlfriend at the time so baby that they baby almost died!!! and hes pissed because i have sole custody and hes even more possed at the amount of support he has to pay..which he comes up with stories of why he cant pay it! I dont want him to take her because hes mad at me! and they are supervised by his father!! They are supervised because of the assault!!!

        • Marie, if the Court ordered him to have visitation you can not interfere with it no matter what he did in the past or what you are projecting can happen in the future or YOU will be guilty of a criminal offense. If he takes the child, he will be guilty of a criminal offense. If the Court ordered the father to monitor the supervised visitation – they had a reason and you have to trust that and obey the law. He didn’t beat you up or harm your baby and you don’t know what transpired in the previous assault charge because you were not there. The Court is doing the right thing – supervised visitation. Hopefully, he will get himself together and be a good father.
          75% of bankruptcies occur within the first two years of a divorce/custody suit because it does financially break the non-custodial parent. Think if you had to pay that child support if he had sole custody and still had to provide a home for yourself. That’s what we’re called to do as human beings – put ourselves in the other person’s shoes, because what we judge and how we judge will be how we are judged in the future. Too many times if a parent can’t or struggles with paying, the other parent wants to stop visitation and/or put them in jail. How is that good for the child?
          It would be better for you to be rational and cooperative. Don’t be angry. Don’t be vindictive. If the father is a fool, that will show itself, but right now you are the one trying to prevent him from being the father with your imagination of “what if”. If he runs with the child, it’s kidnapping. There is no hiding out, it would be temporary and he would probably never see the child again on his own or with family supervision. You would just get the child support money and he would be out of the picture which it sounds like you would really prefer. I can tell you have no respect for him, but he is the father and just like the Court you have to give him every opportunity to do the right thing – not for you or for him but for your child. That’s who the Court cares about as well.
          Personally, it would be better if you can let go of the past and learn to work with him and build trust between the two of you again – that is what is best for your child that you do have the power to create. Peace be with you. May the best in you both come out, because of the love of the child you two created together. God sends children to be gifts and saviors of our families, not weapons or property to be fought over. Please, don’t go down that road. Call him and talk to him – ask him if you can send anything that he might need and doesn’t have at his fathers. Tell him you want to support his relationship with “our” child and that you only want child support so you can provide for his child, what can he do, what can you work out. Be the best mother you can be, that is what is in your power and control – not what he does.

        • Marie

          So sunday was the 2nd supervisied visit and he is to give her medication for bad reflux and both visits he hasnt done it and i have reminded him both visists of it! He also brought her back to me after 7 hours with a very dirty diaper in that 7 hours he changed her once and the diaper was so dirty and soggy that it took several wipes and a little pressure to clean it off of her! I have documented this all and he refuses to get her a proper child seat for her as she is now in a front facing seat. He also took her to meet his new girlfriend with out the supervision of his father! How many visits will he have to ignore the medicine and return her dirty before something will be done! I have tried suggesting that we be very civil for her sake and he agreed but hasnt done a thing? I was concerned about him not bringing her back the first visit but he gave me an excuse why he couldnt so i had to get her! And regarding stuff for the infant i was told by the lawyer for her that i am only allowed to provide a diaper bag of clothes,diapers,wipes,food,toys and bottle and formula he must provide the rest! he at one point did have stuff i let him borrow and he sold it for his drug habit. i have not tried to fight I want her to see him but not at the cost of her coming home dirty and sick

        • Marie, It sounds like you are still very focused on every little thing he is doing and not doing. You are trying to find things to be angry about. Yes, you are acting concerned, but is 7 hours without acid reflex medicine, if it were true, going to harm the child? Have you not gone somewhere and not had the medicine and had to skip a dose or two? That could happen to any parent. The Courts will see you as exaggerating and harassing and would wonder how you could even prove it – I doubt she is taking capsules, but drops, do you count them or something? Same thing – a dirty diaper is a dirty diaper, you really don’t know how long it was on the child. Did you count the diapers and that’s how you think only one was changed? Could you have miscounted? One dirty diaper is not going to harm the child. The car seat is law, he has to get the right car seat or he will get a serious ticket that will cost a lot more than the proper car seat. But, you can’t force him to buy the car seat you want him to buy and use that against him to prevent his father-daughter relationship/visitation.
          How do you know he went somewhere without the supervisor/father? Does your Order allow for that? If you have an Order that states “supervised” visitation – what is the definition of that in your state? It would seem to me, but I’m not a lawyer, that he has to be with that “supervisor” or else it isn’t “supervised”???The whole purpose of supervised visitation is to make sure the parent is doing the right thing through someone watching over them – “supervision”. I wouldn’t run causing a bunch of trouble, but I would say that doesn’t happen again if that is the way your Order reads. The Court has been lenient with him letting his father be the supervisor, he doesn’t need to take that for granted or it won’t be that easy on him next time.
          You really need to be able to talk with the father and tell him – in a nice way – that she is in pain if she doesn’t have the medicine before she eats so please try to remember, SUGGEST he set a note on his cell phone or something – same for changing the diaper – set a timer on his cell phone to remind him to check – even though I don’t know how he couldn’t smell it? 🙂
          NOW,…If there is a drug habit involved, is he under orders for frequent drug testing to make sure he doesn’t fall back into that lifestyle while he has the child? Is that why he is getting supervised visitation? That is the most important issue, because even good parents become bad parents when drugs are involved.
          She is not coming home sick – she had acid reflex when she left. Diapers get dirty. You could be showing yourself to be seeking reasons to prevent his custody and you could lose custody for this and thus child support if you continue. When there is a REAL CONCERN the Law will be behind you. These smaller things really need to be worked out between the two of you or the Court may take the child away from both of you. It’s good you supply the things the child needs while on a 7 hour visit – to expect that of the other parent or anyone a child would only visit for 7 hours is unrealistic.
          Personally…Hang in there, I know it’s difficult – that’s your baby you carried for 9 months hoping to have the father of your dreams for her, but this is what you have, try to work with it the best you can. Perhaps your anger and nervousness/anxiousness is what is causing her acid reflex – I’m not blaming you – I’m just saying you are that connected. Don’t let the connection become about possession and control or fear and dread – let it be love and hope. But, check into “supervised” visitation because I don’t think he can have the child out of the “supervised” arena, like going to his girlfriends. He probably scared that girl off, if she’s smart.

    • SO

      Make the pick up and drop up place at the police station in your local town.go inside where everything is recoded do all exchanges there inside the building and don’t leave until the father is gone tart way he can not fight with you or accuse you of anything and all things are recorded this will benefit you if there should ever be problems

  • Thanks! There was interference again last night and the police deputy actually got her to deliver the child!!! FIRST time the police have ever done anything to enforce an Order!!! WHICH IS THEIR JOB! Of course he was very nice and told her that he did not want to arrest her for interference with custody. He kept her out of jail and the child where she was supposed to be.

  • Menter

    I had my son since he was 3 months old until he was 10 months old only because i was gone away with the service(army) his mom was suppose to have him while i was gone but she didnt have him he was passed from her home to his grand mothers house then to my aunts house out of the nine months i was away my aunt and her mom had him for combined time of about 7 and a half months. It was planned for me to coe get my son and i went and got him and now his mother is trying to have me arrested for child interference when this was the plan the whole time. there is no court appointed custody. She has lied on the papers she filled saying that i didnt provide finacial support but i have paper work showing proof that i have. The papers that i recieved in the mail stated that i shouldnt have any contact with her until the court date or it would result in the issuance of a warrant, however she keep calling and texteing my phone can she gte in trouble for this.My aunt and her mom said they will testify for me and we also have messages and multiple witnesses that conversated with her about me coming to get my son. I think that she just wants to get me caught up because i am married and she doesnt want me to be. Can I really get prosecuted for this and what should i do?

    • Is there anything in writing as far as a parenting plan or court order on who has custody? When you say “supposed to” where did that come from? What state are you in? You can get your state code online. Document everything, save the text messages and voice mail. If she’s being vindictive that will not make her look good, but you have to follow the Law which would be a Court Order. If there wasn’t one and she’s filed now for custody, is there a temporary consent order? If not, then you need to get together with her/her attorney and negotiate a temporary consent order – whatever that turns out to be will weigh heavily when you get into Court. They want the child to have consistency, which it sounds like he/she has already lacked. If you’re gone serving the country, there are laws to protect you from divorce or custody issues being filed while you are gone. As a father, you are a third class citizen in the United States – they only care about you for the money/child support for the most part – federal funding. So, you have to be miles ahead of any assault against you – the Court, the world, the federal organizations have absolutely NO CONCERN FOR FATHERS when it comes to children except for MONEY. It’s been programmed since the 70’s. Click on the web site I’ve attached to my name; it’s not my site, but it’s very helpful for fathers. You can get more exact help there. Don’t take it lightly… you are in for the fight of your life. NO MATTER WHAT, DON’T GIVE UP! The Courts are becoming aware of the monsters they’ve created by giving the court-ordered mothers all the power – their first assumption that they would do what is right has failed. Parenting Classes state that 60% of the fathers go away within the first two years; 75% of bankruptcies are filed within 2 years of a divorce/custody battle. These stats show the best interest of the child has NOT been supported by 99% of the time giving custody to the mother automatically. Good luck and don’t take it lightly, don’t give up, protect yourself because attorneys will use false allegations, TPO (restraining orders), etc. to give the mother power and once that’s done, it’s very hard to undo. TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY! If you can afford it, get an attorney, but know and research the law yourself, because they get paid either way and they WORK FOR THE COURT not the citizen!!! They are licensed by the state and work for the state, not you!!! So, you have to know everything that is going on yourself.

  • Terry

    If the custodial parent refuses to send the child to the non-custodial parent during the court appointed time (i.e. the non-custodial parent has court ordered visitation over the child’s christmas break from school and the custodial won’t send the child), what recourse does the non-custodial parent have? Father (non-custodial) is in Florida, Mother and child are in Oklahoma.

    • Does the order specify who is to deliver the child? What state is the Court Order filed in?

    • hell

      i am in the same situation, my ex wont let me have my kids on my visitation time, 3 years and the police and courts wont do shit about it. all the want is my money and cut me out. she breaks the law and no jail time.

  • Taffy

    Can your court order visitation be reschedule just because the supervisor has to work supposedly on every day you are suppose to see them? Especially when they are the ones who set up the days and the location plus the time that for these visits.

    • Taffy, by supervisor do you mean for supervised visitation? If they keep interfering/postponing your visitation because they are unavailable and they set up the days & times, it seems you would have a valid complaint and be able to get another appointed person for the visitation. Do they have a relationship (directly or indirectly) with the other parent? Unfortunately, there are a lot of internal illegal favors done within the system. It may also be “interference with custody” if they have done this on more than one occasion. Send a certified letter to the supervisor and demand/give notice NOT TO INTERFERE WITH YOUR CUSTODY/VISITATION any longer. If they do, then they may possibly be committing criminal interference with custody. Check your state code. I am not an attorney, you are not an attorney, but you are a parent – research STATE CODE.

  • Babygirlbelle

    My husband and his ex wife have joint custody of their two boys 7 & 12. In March, the 12 year old sexually assaulted the 7 yr old while at her house. The 12 year old refuses to come to our house because we don’t allow him inside by himself for an extended period of time and we don’t allow them to watch anything on tv that we don’t approve of (rated pg or g, depending on the show). Their mother has allowed him to make his own decision of whether to visit for the past year. The 7 year old states (to his mother that he hates her and doesn’t want to go with her, yet we force him so that we don’t condone the breakage of the small bod he has with his mother. We believe that the children have been left alone unsupervised since the incident of assault happened and that their mother is verbally abusive to the 7 year old. Yet we fear that when we go to court in 2 weeks, the court will side with her because she is the mother. there is a LOT more to this story….but my question is, since the 12 year old will not e charged with a crime and the 7 year old is scared to death to go to their house because of this incident an many others….is there ANY way my husband (being the father) can get full custody of at least the 7 year old in order to keep him safe??? CPS has an active case with the mothers family and basically said there was no cause for them to pull the kids from her house. We have 4 years worth of documentation where have and her husband have been physically an emotionally abusive toward the kidsa, have put them in dangerous situations and have refused custody to my husband. She constantly tries to change the schedule and then cries in front of people to make them feel bad for her. If we didn’t have justifiable reason to ask for full custody, we wouldn’t be. But how can we ensure that the 7 year old is safe and the 12 year old gets the help he needs??? (PS…their mother refuses to allow any medical assistance and help from professionals to either of the boys). WE pay for ALL medical needs, so money is not an issue. PLEASE HELP!!! THE 7 YEAR OLD CRUES WHEN HE HAS TO GO THERE, begging is not to make him go!!! How do we protect him and fight against “the mother”, which courts typically side with???

  • Herb

    I have a court signed divorce settlement between my exwife and I. We were in the N.Y. court system. I have joint custody, but physical custody lies with my ex in the state of N.C. In the agreement I was to have private phone time with my children, and face to face time via Skype. Now that my ex has moved to N.C. and the children are with her, she tells me she cant afford internet to provide the face to face time. She tells me that she does not have a home phone either. I purchased my children a cell phone to have phone time with, and of lately have not been getting any contact with them. She has repeatedly told me she will throw the phone in the pond. The last time I spoke with my son he was crying on the phone because “mommy told him she didnt want to see or hear the phone”. There are some other issues that are of concern. She had told the courts that she could provide better for the children in N.C. because she will be living in a home on her parents property. She has not worked since 2003. In some of my conversations with my kids, they have told me that there are no bedrooms in the house that they all sleep in the same room together. My kids are 8 and 6, they sleep on bunkbeds, and my ex sleeps in her bed in the same room. Is there anything I can do to get my kids back? She also was bound in the agreement to maintain the marital residence until she vacated and moved to N.C.and I moved back in once she moved out. 2 months before she left the hotwater heater quit working and had it replaced and stuck me with the bill. Now I get certified letters stating that if the bill is not paid they will put a lien on my property. I feel like I have been getting the short end of the stick all along and she gets whatever she wants. What can I do?

    • Hot water heater – you are using it now – it’s your bill, pay it. Yes, you get the short end of the stick because you are a father and society and the Courts think you are expendable, except for your money of course. Was there a new court order put in place when she moved? Did she have permission to leave the state with your children? The Court Order is LAW and if she is not giving you what is ON IT – she is in Contempt of Court at the least and possibly Interference with Custody which is a criminal offense. Check the Law/Codes of your state for Interference with Custody. Not giving you the communication on an Order is Contempt of Court. Document everything. Save any messages or conversations with your children. If you are concerned about the conditions the children are living in – you can call Dept. of Family and Children Services in the county she resides in and tell them your concerns and file a formal complaint and they will go check it out. If she hasn’t lived there for six months, you can file the Contempt of Court in your county and she has to return there for court. Let it go beyond six months and it becomes their jurisdiction and you have to go there. They will drag it out and take all of your money until you go away or can’t pay child support and then they put you in jail. So, time is of the essence to get the Petition filed in your county. Of course, depending on what the Court Order says on it. If you click on “my name Fathers Rights” it will take you to a site that helps fathers. It is not my site. I am a witness of these things as a woman who feels since women are the majority of the problem against fathers rights, there have to be women who stand up in the opposite direction. The longer you let things ride, the worse they are in your favor and your children’s favor. ANY MOTHER WHO IS CUTTING OUT THE FATHER WHO WANTS TO BE IN THEIR CHILD’S LIFE IS A BAD PARENT and that is psychologically proven and the Courts know this to be fact and if you prove it in Court (usually they do themselves) then the Court HAS TO PROTECT THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD. But, you have to do it yourself, even if you have an attorney, because they make deals with each and get paid regardless and go with the status quo which is “fathers pay while mothers play the judicial system”. So, it’s your job as the father to become knowledgeable and listen to no one but your God-given parental instincts and intellectual, spiritual and physical resources to do all you can to keep your children in your life. Check your state because there are some states that if the parent is interfering with visitation/custody then you have a right to stop child support, but those are few states. You can always consult with an attorney and go pro se. Judges don’t see the parents, they see attorneys – when pro se – they see you and the see the other parent – then they are BOUND to make the right decision – they have no attorney to blame… and neither do you. MOST IMPORTANTLY – PRAY!!! God can change things and make a way where there is no way. Ask what you can do – forgive, cooperate, not nit pick like the hot water heater – FOCUS ON YOUR CHILDREN as a FATHER with the HEAVENLY FATHER and you will gain the wisdom, the love and the power to do what is needed. Best of luck…

      • Herb

        Thank you Fathers Rights for your comment. I guess I was nit picking about the heater, I just wanted to show how she does what she wants amd gets away with it. I finally recieved a phone call today from my daughter. I thank you for your guidance and knowledge.

        • You’re welcome. Totally understood. Don’t let her (or anyone else) get to you over these petty attacks or issues – just keep your focus on your daughter and you’ll know you’re on the right path. THANK YOU for your humbleness. Pride comes before a fall; but the humble are lifted up!!!

  • Amanda

    My boyfriend took my daughter for his summer visititation. They ended on July 27th, they stopped answering all phone calls and text msgs. I drive 300 miles to pick her and called for police escorts to accompany me. They said my child wasn’t there and the police told me there is nothing they can do. I filed a contempt of court order. We are joint conservators but I am the primary custodial parents. Can I go withdraw my child from school once they register her for the year? Is that the only possible way to get my daughter back?

    • Amanda,
      If you have a Court Order that the custody time now is yours and they do not deliver the child at the appointed time and place, they have committed a criminal offense of INTERFERENCE WITH CUSTODY and Law Enforcement is bound to help you by putting a warrant out for his/their arrest. Google your state code for “Interference with Custody” – that’s what makes it criminal and not civil and forces them to help you, but if you don’t know that – they won’t tell you. But, you’ve already petitioned for a “contempt of court” so it’s a moot point now. The Contempt, if found guilty, becomes a criminal charge and he has messed up his parental rights severely. It’s really a shame what the child is having to go through. I hope you both can resolve it quickly and without the loss of either of the child’s parents in her life.

      • Amanda

        So the detectives contacted me and told me the D.A. will not pick the case up because it is a civil matter to contact a lawyer. So i guess it’s okay for people just to kidnap your child and there is nothing criminal about it. What are my options?? I have seen, touched, smelled, heard from my child in over 2 1/2 months. (Smh) in disbelief on how I can not seem to gettin help from the Police dept. Visitiation ended on July 27th and I have still not gotten my daughter back. I need answers on what to do now. If they enroll her in school am I able to withdraw her or is that illegal on my part.

  • MiMi

    What happens if the court ordered visitation conflicts with school hours? Do I have to take them out of school just for the court order? Or can I respectfully deny the visitation for that day? ( Court order is for Friday & Saturday, every other weekend).

  • MiMi, If there is school, the other parent will take the child to school or pick them up according to their Court Ordered visitation SCHEDULE – YOU CAN NOT INTERFERE OR DENY VISITATION! You will put the parent on the drop-off/pick-up list at the school, give them the appropriate information and supplies for school, etc. and during their visitation time they are responsible (unless otherwise noted on your court order) to take the child to school or pick them up. I hope you were really seeking the answer and not just trying to come up with ways to interfere with custody.
    Because the answer seems quite obvious doesn’t it, and I’m amazed that custodial parents will often do whatever they can to take away any minute from the non-custodial parent. THAT IS CONTEMPT OF COURT and possibly INTERFERENCE WITH CUSTODY which is a criminal charge! The Court will think you’re abusive (not just of the other parent, but of your child because that’s who the Court Order is for) because they will know the answer to that question is so obvious – it shouldn’t even be asked!
    So, it’s good you asked rather than just doing it – even though you say “respectfully deny” you would have been in Contempt.
    Please PARENTS behave yourself and support the relationship between your child and the other parent – use your energy for that rather than trying to conjure up ways to take time away from THEM!! CHILDREN ARE GIFTS, NOT WEAPONS AND PAYCHECKS!!!

    • MiMi

      Excuse me but, I really think you are jumping to conclusions here. I never said I wasn’t giving the kids to him or that I was trying to stop him from seeing them. I really take offence to that. I was just asking because school hours are from 8am to 3-4pm and he is not allowed over nights. His visitation is for 6 hours, and the kids are to be home at 7pm. That leaves 3 hours not the 6 hours ordered. I was just wondering what I should do as for the conflict of time, not the conflict for me, but for the school hours. But, thank you for responding so quickly, please next time DON’T UPPERCASE me, and jump to some major erratical conclusions, not everyone is out to get their ex.

  • Marie

    first of all she has to have that medication so she can keep her food down!!! and its prescribied for 3 times a day! she has reflux because her father and i both have issues with and the doctor knows this ans stated thats why she does …it has nothin to do with ME!!!! She has had it for 6 months now!!! And no i dont forget it when i know we are goin somewhere and yes i did count the diapers. i put in 5 he only used 1..thank you. And my own laywer feels that this is harmful to her! how would you yourself like to sit in the dirty diaper for so long and have a sore butt or throw up your food with acid and not be able to say if your uncofertable???? He has the supervisied visits because of drugs,alcohol abuse and the domestic felony assault that put his other child at risk..the baby almost died and wasnt even born yet! so yes he has to be supervisised by his father! He and his Father are both pissed because of the amount of support he has to pay and the fact that it has to be supervised and its bothering the schedule of his father!! And i know my daughter is a gift more than you will ever know especially everything that happened during my pregnancy…especially when at first he told me get rid of it…but she is here and all the struggles and the near losses i love her with all my heart and soul! as all of us do!!! So IF YOU ARENT A LAWYER WHAT ARE YOU AND WHAT HIGHHORSE DO YOU SIT ON TO YELL AT US THRU WORDS!! Have a little more compassion and maybe think of how some us are feeling about this stuff!!!! Maybe some of us are doing this for the first time and are freaked out or upset at whats going on!!!

    • I’m sorry you got upset. I’ve tried to be compassionate with you, but your anger and personal vindictive agenda towards the child’s other parent is blatant. I actually am trying to help you calm down so you don’t lose custody. If it’s obvious to us reading YOUR words, then ti will obvious to a Judge.
      Again, how do you know he didn’t give the medication? Do you count the drops, too? You admit you count diapers and he changed her diaper, but you don’t know at what time, etc.
      Your goal is obvious – to blow things out of proportion and take away his child and keep all the money. From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks – go back and read your own words. The father is exercising his visitation and obviously wants to be her father. YOU obviously don’t and that is not going to make you look like a good mother in Court. But, I’m done with you…
      You have an attorney and you know all the answers, so why are you on here spewing about him when he was good enough to be the father when you were together and now he’s not? If what you say is true and you consider her a gift, then calm down and don’t make her pay for your mistakes any further than she already has to, according to you, because of who you choose her father to be.
      Good luck and I hope all 3 of you get better with your acid reflex and peace in your family.

    • Christine

      Marie don’t listen to any negative uncaring jerks.. Keep fighting for the Safety of your little girl.. The courts will see what an unstable basket case your x is.. Keep your head up and your arms around your child ..Someday this will be over with and you will be able to move on and be Happy while the x rots somewhere where he belongs.. Good luck to you and your little girl:)

      • Marie

        Thank you Christine and her I ask her father did you give her the meds he replys no i dont think she needs it! but anyways my lawyer does agree with me ..and her father is doin all this because hes mad about the amount of support! I used this page as a way to vent and ask others for their ideas and not to be told im purposely finding things wrong! Im thinkin because his new gf may be pregnant he may all together walk away from my baby girl and i know she will suffer in the end for it but it may be a good thing, he has no contact with his one yr old either! Again thank you CHRISTINE~!!!

  • bbro

    My ex has residential custody that started July 1st. I get 6 nights a month visitation with one week night every other week and alternating weekends. BUT since July 1st the kids have only been with me 14 nights out of 46 nights. The issue here is the kids are being left with the non-custodial parent over night most of the time. Can I as the non-custodial parent have custody changed because the custodial parent is leaving the kids in my care most of the time. At times I have not heard from this person for up to 4 days and the kids are confused since they do not know when they will have to leave. They never wanted to leave in the first place and would rather live with me.

    • I would be grateful for the time with the children and not worry about changing custody since it was just established July 1st – wouldn’t you? If it goes a long time like that then you can petition for a modification of custody, but sounds like you have a cooperative parent and you can try to work with them directly and not have to leave it in a strangers hands.

  • bbro

    I am very grateful for the time. If I had a cooperative parent to work with, the custody would have been joint. I made the agreement out of court so that it wasn’t put into a strangers hands and so that my kids did not have to say anything bad about either parent or be questioned in court although they wanted to. I truly do not think it is in their best interest to live with someone that is hardly around for them.. I’m just wondering why someone would fight for residential custody and then not spend much time with the kids at all. The whole situation has never made sense to me or anyone who knows us.

    • Then if you can prove a major change of circumstance, you have grounds to petition for modification of custody. You have to have proof though – ask for interrogatories (questions to be answered in writing before hearing), have witnesses who will testify under oath, know why they are not available and if they are valid reasons so you don’t look litigious and end up paying the other parent’s attorney fees.

  • Amanda

    So the detectives contacted me and told me the D.A. will not pick the case up because it is a civil matter to contact a lawyer. So i guess it’s okay for people just to kidnap your child and there is nothing criminal about it. What are my options?? I have seen, touched, smelled, heard from my child in over 2 1/2 months. (Smh) in disbelief on how I can not seem to gettin help from the Police dept. Visitiation ended on July 27th and I have still not gotten my daughter back. I need answers on what to do now. If they enroll her in school am I able to withdraw her or is that illegal on my part.

    Optional Information:
    State/Country relating to question: Texas

    Already Tried:
    filed a contempt of court order and filed charges ( which got a call from the detectives and the plice dept that said the d.a. wont be picking up the case because its a civil matter) go figure!!!

    • No, the D.A. won’t pick up a civil case, but the police should follow your Court Order and demand for the charge of “interference with custody” – that is criminal and they have to be involved. If the police won’t do it, then go to the magistrate judge or a Superior Court Judge and get a warrant – if the Court Order is clear about your custody being interfered with. I’m not an attorney, but I would say no on removing the child from school yourself – that may be kidnapping or at least disruptive to the child and not look good for you. Contempt of Court, you can go pro se (without an attorney, if you can’t afford an attorney) and simply show the Court Order and get the parent to admit they did not return the child – contempt should be solid. That’s why you have a Court Order – it’s the COURT’s ORDER and the Contempt is against the Court. You have to ask questions of the other parent on the stand – it’s not easy. You have an opening statement where you can just talk to the Judge and a closing statement. You can’t say anything that is spoken by a third party – if you need that testimony you have to have them on the stand, under oath. Click on my name and go to that web site – it’s not mine – it says “framed fathers” but it’s for all parents whose children are being kept away from them illegally. Good luck!

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  • rroner

    If my ex does not let my girs call me every thursday like the judge order what can i do? He does not allow them to call me on any day. Is like having no contact with my girs at all,

    • If the Court Order specifically says you are to speak with the children on a certain day and that is being denied by the other parent – it is CONTEMPT OF COURT and you have to file a petition and prove it in Court. Click on my name and go to that web site – it’s not mine – but it is a helpful site and you should get some advice there. You can also google “contempt of court” and how to file it in your state if you need to do it pro se (yourself without an attorney because you can’t afford one). You need to have proof. Send certified mail telling the parent they are in contempt, record all your voice mails you leave, etc. Usually they admit it and think they won’t get in trouble, but they will – if they say the children don’t want to talk to you – that’s third party and not allowed in Court. If they are over a certain age for your state – the Judge may want to talk to the children. No Judge believes children don’t want to talk to their parents, so you have an advantage that the situation appears as contempt and nothing fair or logical or in the best interest of the children. The bad thing is – you have to go to Court and do everything needed – file a petition, serve the other parent, wait for a Court date, present your case, and if you win the other parent can be put in jail or whatever code your state has for the offense. Once they are found in contempt – it is a criminal charge and there are consequences. Good luck.

  • erika

    my kids live with me in florida but their dad has visitation rights during the summer in florida (where he lives). In our court papers it stated that he is reponsible to provide transportation both ways for the kids and that he is supposed to return them a week before school starts. they are supposed to come back wednesday aug 29. i live 1 hour away from the airport and hes telling me that i have to pick up the kids from the airport, which mind you he came and picked them up from my house when it was time for him to pick them up and take them to the airport back to florida, but yet he wont bring them here and hes making me meet him at the airport. my question is…. if i dont pick them up from the airport exactly…can i get in trouble? or will he get in trouble for not bringing them to me where they live like he is supposed to? and if he dont bring them to where i live and stays at the airport and i dont pick them up can i call the cops?

    • erika

      im so sorry i stated in the beginning that the kids live with me in florida i meant to say they live with me in new jersey.

  • ?TDO

    If a TDo has been filed and the other parent is not abiding by that Order, for instance I have not seen my son in 10 days. Taken from my house to go to school and they never returned. He was withdrawn from school by the other parent an hour after the TDO was filed.
    What can I do. They refuse to let me see him?

  • Dyane

    I moved from Arizona to Washington and moved my children without consent of their father, we share joint custody. The previous custody order does not allow neither parent to move children out of Maricopa County without consent of the other parent. The children’s father tracked me down and I just got served what are my chances of winning in court?

    • Jaydes Daddy

      Lol dyanne,
      My daughters mother did that no she’s a fugitive on the run and has no contact with her daughter and maybe when she gets out of jail in 5 or 6 years after therapy shell get to meet her daughter again We teach our children rules and that if you break them there are consiquences now why should it be different for you and what kind of example is that for them and lastly what gives you the right to seperate those children from THERE father. You are very selfish and I don’t feel sorry for you and like children’s services told you do the right thing and if not like my daughters mother you don’t deserve to be in your children’s life it’s about the kids not you

  • Childrens’ Rights

    Dyane, You have committed kidnapping or inter-state interference with custody or contempt – or all of the above – according to your own words. Why did you move away when you weren’t supposed to and then not even tell the other parent? This does not make you look like a good parent and you are obviously guilty and willfully so. You even say “tracked you down” so you willfully stole his children from him and separated your children from their father. You are in big trouble, if the Judge has half a brain and heart. Your best bet would be to admit it and make an offer the father can’t refuse BEFORE YOU GET TO COURT. Because no matter what you come up with, you willfully did the wrong thing to your children and broke the law on three counts. If you admit it, apologize and offer make up time, paying for transport, etc. the Judge may see you as remorseful and possibly keep you out of jail or keep joint custody. Fight it and the Judge is going to see you as bad for your children and in willful contempt at the very least and this is a major change in circumstance that allows a change in custody. In a way, if you lose custody, it is what you were trying to do to the other parent and so there can’t be too much sympathy if that is what you get instead. Answer is THERE IS NO WAY YOU WILL WIN IN COURT – YOU HAVE WILLFULLY BROKEN THE LAW and harmed your own children – unless your attorney is sleeping with the judge or something corrupt like that.

  • Kim

    My daughter’s ex has learned that all he has to do is call CPS with some ridiculous charge & he gets to keep my grandaughter until my daughter can get into court & get an emergency order to get her back. It’s totally ridiculous. At Christmastime, he pulled this, knowing the courts were closed that week, so she couldn’t do anything until the following week when they re-opened. That time, he called CPS & told them that my daughter was always dropping my grandaughter off in dirty diapers & she had a horrible diaper rash. CPS investigated, found nothing & ordered him to return her, but it took a week. Went back to court & had somevisitation removed & had the court order re-written so it was stricter. It was supposed to be strict enough for the police to step in if he pulled this again. Not so. This time, my Daughter dropped my grandaughter off Friday evening(he gets her from 6pm Friday to 6pm Saturday). Saturday morning, he called my daughter & said he wanted to go into work, so he wanted her to come & pick up my grandaughter. She couldn’t because she was already at work. About an hour & a half later, he called her, screaming becuase he got a letter in the mail from the state, telling him he owes for half of her medical expenses. He told my daughter that now, she’s not getting her daughter back at all! He called CPS again & reported that my daughter had dropped my grandaughter off dirty on Friday & they advised him to keep her. The police in TWO jurisdictions wouldn’t help, they said it’s a family court matter now. Even though she has the court order. Also in the court order it says she is to have reasonable phone access to her child. The police told her they would arrest her for harrassment if she called there. She asked them to call & they told here they wouldn’t. Again, a holiday weekend, so, she is in line right now, waiting for the court building to open & see what can be done. He showed up too & is several people behind her in line. By teh way- she has heard nothing from CPS at this point. This guy has an anger problem & has been arrested for harrassment 3 times this year. Charges from 3 different people. This is unbelievable that this can keep happening.

  • destiny

    If there has been a custodial agreement going on two years, and the one party has only gotten child less than half the time he should have been(all logged)what would i be able to do? Get full custody? And if he is supposed to pick up the child at a certain time and doesn’t get there until an hour after pick up time, is that voiding visitation for for that time period he was supposed to have the child? I don’t like sitting up all hours waiting, when i have things i need to.

  • Shell

    What if every time my kids visit their father, him and his new wife drill the kids for information and get child protection involved and any other amenities to get the paramount parent in troube? What can I do? To keep down confusion?

  • bianca

    What if the primary parent doesn’t give the the secondary parent the child on the secdhdule time and keeps the child on secondary. Parents time without giving the other parent agoood exucse?

  • Shannah

    What if the other parents family members are influencing them negatively? Are the parents the only ones that can be charged with custodial interference?

  • Jamie

    My fiance is divorced and has 2 children with his ex wife. Prior to the divorce she signed the marital settlement aggreement which stated that my fiance has physical custody of both children and it defined parental visitation rights for the parent without physical custody. During the divorce hearing she requested joint physical and joint legal custody which the judge signed into order. Over the past few months she has been keeping the children from him and just recently told him that there are no set visitation times because they both have joint legal and joint physical custody of the children. So I guess my question is this: Even though the judge granted joint physical and joint legal custody to both parents would the original marital settlement aggreement as far as visitation times still be what they abide by? OR is she correct in saying that there are no specific times?

    • MY OPINION: Joint legal custody means equal in decision making, visitation is clear that it is the schedule for the non-custodial parent to have “visits”. THAT IS A LEGAL ORDER. The mother is in contempt and he can call the police, show them the Order, and the Police/sheriff will demand she bring the children back or you will press charges for Interference with Custody. If the Police do not go after her for Interference with Custody or it is across state lines – call the FBI and report a kidnapping and tell them the police would not do anything and file complaints against the police. ORDERS ARE LAW! Violating them is contempt. Keeping a child outside of those guidelines is interference with custody or kidnapping. That should be the same in all states. FBI will give you advice, but because you are a father, you must know the law and demand it be followed for you. Mothers get all the help with no evidence. It’s a biased system against the family/children YOU MUST STATE THE LAW. All states have their laws and statutes on the internet – google statutes for ‘Interference with Custody” and you can call the FBI help line for kidnapping, but try local law enforcement first – unless across state lines that is Interstate Interference with Custody and is a felony. Since you’ve warned her and asked – do you have in writing/recorded? – then it is willful contempt. She just changed the law and meaning after following it and her contempt is clearly willful, but because she’s a mother and the system is biased you have to have more evidence and plenty of chances for her to follow the Order/Law. Good luck!

  • Kate

    Sadly my son is the non custodial parent and the ex does everything to include holding my grandson for ransom, tells my she needs extra money when he gets there and if he does not give it to her she does not let him take his son for his visit. She does everything to not let him go… Has excuses or doesn’t answer the dor. Speaks horribly to my grandson ( he is 4) about my son. She lives with her married boyfriend and his kids and yells cusses and has no job. Personally I would like to do something bu my son will probably file for visitaion interference or something like that. This is absolutely unneccessary and she should have to go to parenting classes.

    Any advice?

    • See the comment above yours. It is against the law to withhold the child, even for child support. THERE ARE NO EXCUSES. Document everything! Give a check, never cash. You have to be smart in a legal sense – your son is not just a parent any more – he is a target! If she refuses the child – it is contempt of Court (the Court gave the Order so the contempt is against them and that doesn’t stand well with them) or if the Court Order is clear then it is “interference with custody” and the sheriff/law must enforce it by you showing the law/statute in your state for “interference with custody”. Everything can be found online – you have to become your own lawyer, even if you have an attorney – you must know what is going on – they get paid either way and many times they figure both parents are crap if you’re going through this and many don’t really help – I’m said to say. AGAIN, IN MY PERSONAL OPINION AND EXPERIENCE! I am not an attorney, obviously. Your son has to get out of the victim complex and fight or he will be another statistic and so will his child – your grandchild! Click on the web site connected with my “user name” – it’s not my sight, but it will help your son learn from others in the same situation. Best of luck!

  • Curious

    My husband and I are in a battle with my step sons mother. Back in May she dropped off my step son at our doorstep in Georgia and said she can’t deal with him anymore and for us to take him. We have since moved to WV. The mother has kept minimal contact with my step son. She has known our location throughout this time and has made no attempt to see my step son, didn’t even come to his birthday party in November. In December she had another child (this is her 4th by 4 different babies daddy’s) and her latest baby’s daddy left her. So now she is screaming kidnapping and has filed a custodial interence with the police out of Ga (not sure if an order has been filed through Magistrate Court yet). How is this possible when there was never a custody agreement between the two parents until January 22, 2012 and it was awarded to my husband? We have never “kept” him from her. She called about once or twice every month and never mentioned trying to see my step son. How can the police even issue this kind of petition? She says she filed charges on Friday which is same day we filed for custody and we had our hearing on Tuesday after the holiday weekend.

    Thank you for your response.

    • Curious

      Also, what couse of action do we need to take?

  • Kelly

    In my divorce papers it states the non custodial parent has to return the child back to the custodial parent which is me once visitation is done. My question is my ex husband lives an hour away from me. About a year ago he said he wanted me to pick our daughter up at school on the fridays starting his visitation weekend and he wanted me to pick her up where he lives at a walmart on the sunday ending his visitation. I advised him at first as long as he let let out child do her sports i would agree to the arangement so for a little while he did than he decided to tell me no he doesnt have to let our child do her sports and i still had to go pick her up on the sundays if i didnt he would tell the police im abondoning our child which is deff not true so i still went to pick her up now i just founf out im losing my job I can no longer do it and i advised him of this and yesterday i texted him to remind him i couldnt because hes supposed to take her today of course he went off on me turned everything around and like i said our papers say the noncustodial parent shall return the child to the custodial parent not he picks her up here and i go there I cant afford it anymore and told him that he wont take any responsibility. I made sure and advised our child sorta what was going on obviosuly not everything but she knows mommy cant pick her up and daddys is supposed to bring her back and if he doesnt right away dont worry she will be coming home. How long do I have to wait befor i can file kidnaping charges is it 24 hours after his weekend visitation end 48 hours and someone was right befor when they said the cops dont like to get involved and its such a big problem they should start geting involved in cases like this because its not fair to the child or the other parent to have to deal with it. I know I have to file papers to get things modified in my divorce papers and im trying to. Is there any advise anyone can give that will help with this as soon as possible I dont know what else todo im affraid i will advise the police and they will just say we cant do anything unless its stated in your papers but it states my ex has to return the child to the custodial parent which is me so if he doesnt then hes going against the order right?

    • Kelly,

      I’m sorry for the loss of your job and I hope you find another one soon.

      In my opinion:
      You both had that agreement and you both need to work together now that things have changed for you. Until then, you have to keep YOUR word.

      Be careful with telling your child anything pertaining to the parenting/adult issues!!! The child knows you have been picking them up all that time and if it has changed and any of those issues – MUST be ONLY between the two adults/parents. DO NOT PUT THIS PRESSURE OR USE THE CHILD FOR DELIVERY OF MESSAGES! Would it not be reasonable to give notice of this change to the other parent? Not expecting the first weekend that it all be put on the other parent to jump to your changes? Do you not think that the Court will see your brief notification as a “unilateral demand” and then if you call the police or say “kidnapping” and then say “I have no job or money I can’t even pick up my child per my own agreement” that you are not going to look like a very good parent????

      The mistakes parents make is that they start thinking about how to WIN THEIR WAY – that’s the approach that will harm you and your child. BE REASONABLE… I know you’re scared, you lost your job, a two hour drive – 120 miles 15 miles per gallon, $3.19 per gallon = is approx. $25. But, for $25 you’re going to cause stress on your child – UNWISE!!!

      The Order can be modified when both parties agree – you both agreed on changing the Order and have followed those changes for quite some time and established precedence – if you call police or say kidnapping – that would be UNWISE. You have set the precedence that YOU pick up the child.

      Did you give reasonable notice that you wanted to change this Agreement? For example: “Dear Parent, I have lost my job. I will not be able to afford to pick up _____ on Sunday nights beginning on “date” (2 weeks from now). Please call me to discuss other options. Perhaps we can meet half-way or you can help with the gas. (That way, it doesn’t look like you just don’t want to drive your child any more, you have money issues.) I apologize, this is outside of my control. It will only be temporary until I am working again. Thank you.” What parent wouldn’t work with that? And if they didn’t, then the Court would lean to your side if that’s where you had to end up.

      You can NOT re-enforce the Order without mutual consent. You both agreed to change it in the first place, you both need to agree to change your changes or to at least give reasonable notice of any unilateral changes.

      This is common sense. If you just lost your job – you really should be able to keep your word and pick your child up. It’s doubtful a Court will sympathize with your failure to pick up your child, harassment of the other parent, and frivolous use of the police for $25????

      If I were you this is what I would do:
      #1 – If the other parent is not cooperating verbally – send email, snail mail and phone call – with what I wrote above or similar so you have written notice of your inability to keep YOUR word and agreement. Until they cooperate – you pick up the child per your agreement. If they don’t cooperate or negotiate after two attempts, the third notice (certified mail) should be your notice that since the other party has failed to understand, respond and modify the Agreement, this notice serves that the party will no longer keep the verbal Agreement and the Order (stating the delivery is by them) will now be in effect as of this “date”.
      #2 – Tell your child not to worry about how they are getting home on Sunday, that you will be there!!! Don’t say anything about gas and what you can’t afford – this drive/exchange is for the child and you will make them feel guilty no matter what you think you are saying, okay, so please don’t do that! And then don’t discuss anything else until you two have worked out exactly what is going to happen and then make the changes sound fun and normal, do not guilt the child about what you or the other parent have to do. YOU pick the child up until you get this completely worked out – do not drag them into the process or your own confusion and fear, okay. Talk to an adult friend.
      #3 – If the child is not returned to you on Sunday, it will be your negligence and fault since that is your agreement and you have not given written and reasonable notice of the change. Borrow money from someone if you don’t have it and go get your child.
      #4 – If the next visitation (the date you gave notice for) the parent doesn’t make an agreement or bring the child, you will have to go get the child. Continue to send notice in writing. BUT, focus on getting a job, not all of this.
      #5 – If you really can’t afford to pick up your child, you can get assistance. If after two attempts, they don’t negotiate, you sent notice that the Order comes into effect by (2 weeks or something reasonable). Then you can follow the Order for law and the other parent will have to bring the child to you on Sundays. Once the Order is in effect, the full extend of the Law applies.

      I hope this helps you stay calm, have a plan or inspires a better plan than the one you mentioned. Don’t worry, another job will come. Stay positive for yours and your child’s sake. Take the weekend your child is visiting the other parent and look for another job – you’ll probably have one by Monday and this will all be a moot point!!!

      All of this is my opinion and experience. I am not a lawyer and I am not associated with the web site linked to my name.

  • Renee

    Well I have a really good question my son was up for adoption and got adoption in 2007 and he contacted me the other day by phone and now his adopted mother has got me for custodel interference because I talked with him on the phone when he called me !!! What will happen in my case could you please help me with my questions

    • Renee, The only time I’ve seen “talking on the phone” as a contempt or interference of custody is when an Order reads that a party has the right to speak with a child and that is not allowed by the other party, thus an interference. Your son talking to you on the phone, even if he’s been adopted, is not interference with custody. How are you preventing or interfering with her custody by talking to him on the phone? So, what do you mean “got you for custodial interference”? Does the Order read that you can not talk to your son? If your son called you and he wants to talk to you, even if he’s adopted, you may want to pursue a relationship through the adopted parents by talking to THEM and saying that you don’t want to interfere with their parenting and you appreciate them adopting your son and you only want what is best for him. BUT, you don’t want him to feel like he is a prisoner that is not allowed to even talk to his biological mother if that is what he wants to do. Perhaps they will let you come by and answer his questions or some other form of brief or even supervised visitation. Your son’s needs and desires are what should be important to you both – biological and adopted. Don’t let them scare you off with threats, you already gave him up for adoption, don’t give up on him in any other way if at all possible. Kids don’t expect us to be perfect, they just need to know it’s not their fault when we fail to do as they wish we had. If this doesn’t work out, your son will contact you when he’s old enough. Make sure you can show him you tried to be able to be there for him, but it just wasn’t possible. Just a suggestion/opinion. Best wishes for you and your son.

  • frustratedmom

    I’m a divorced woman, and when I left the marriage I had custody of my then 12 year old daughter. My ex husband is a compulsive liar, he is emotionally and verbally abusive, controlling and manipulative, suffers from PTSD, has anger and abandonment issues, was sexually abused as a young child and was occasionally physically abusive to me, (but not the kids) consisting of kicking, slapping and punching me during arguments. He was not physically abusive every day. He has some signs of being Bi-Polar but hasn’t been diagnosed. He has held a loaded gun to my head once, and a knife to my throat once. He also threatened my family and friends, and separated me from family and friends. I had him served with divorce papers AND a restraining order at the same time. He violated the restraining order and went to jail for 4 days. The restraining order was in effect for one year, and I did not renew it.

    I moved to a nearby city with my daughter while I had sole physical custody of her and the restraining order was in effect. My ex let my 12 year old daughter read the restraining order, and he told her I was lying, which caused a lot of problems between me and her. I don’t think it’s appropriate to share the details with the kids, so I didn’t talk to either of my daughters about what was in the restraining order. The reason I gave my 12 year old for the divorce was “me and your dad just don’t get along” I didn’t even tell her there was a restraining order, she found that out from him. I have worked very hard not to bad mouth him in any way. My older daughter remembers enough that she didn’t need to be told, and she wasn’t surprised when I told her about the impending divorce. My ex didn’t let my younger daughter see how mean he was to me, so she probably believes I lied.

    During court, my ex got to present his case first, and due to his lies and misrepresentations and an impatient judge who didn’t want to hear all the facts and wouldn’t listen to what I had to say and kept interrupting me, he won sole custody. He also had a lawyer and I didn’t, so I was forced to represent myself. Being nervous and not familiar with legal proceedings and laws, I didn’t do a very good job of course. I have visitation rights, but he has made it difficult to see my daughter all along, and I have not been able to have even one overnight or weekend visit since he got custody. I have been paying child support faithfully except for recently, as I am looking for work right now. In fact I was paying him an extra $20 a month over what I was supposed to pay, and buying things for my daughter. I know I still have a legal right to visitation whether I can pay or not, and he has not mentioned the child support as a reason not to see her.

    My daughter is now 15, showing signs of clinical depression, not showering or going to school regularly. (she used to be a straight A student who never had to study, and was enrolled in the TAG “Talented And Gifted” program) She is now failing in classes that she should be excelling at. She was seeing a counselor in the past, but when the counselor started pointing out the truth and she didn’t want to hear it, she stopped going and is not currently seeing a counselor at this time. Nothing is being done to help her, and my ex has a work schedule that conflicts with his ability to properly parent her. (he leaves for work before she comes home from school and he is gone all night and sleeps in mornings, so on the days she goes to school they don’t see each other so she is basically raising herself. He has weekends off, which they spend at home together, playing games, watching movies and using the internet) He is also overweight, diabetic, has high cholesterol, and has had 2 heart attacks, which he blames on me.

    His house is dirty and sometimes stinks of cat pee, he doesn’t provide nutritious meals and he doesn’t turn the heat on very often. (to “save money”) He blames everything on me, including the divorce. He constantly threatens to move out of state, and even out of country, with my daughter. He denied being abusive until recently, and he has tried off and on to convince me that I was abusive too.

    He is seeing a counselor, and he claims that his counselor says I shouldn’t be around him or my daughter, but has given me no reason why the counselor would say this. This counselor doesn’t treat my daughter, I don’t think she’s even met her, and she also hasn’t heard my side of the story and hasn’t met me. The counselor is only hearing whatever my ex husband says about me. He has lied about or “misunderstood” things counselors have told him in the past. I have asked for his counselors phone number (so I can find out if she did say I shouldn’t come around and why) but he hasn’t responded to my request.

    My ex is now keeping me from seeing my daughter, and using his counselor as an excuse. Due to the only phone in the house being his cell phone, (she had a phone but he got rid of it “to save money”) the only way for me to even talk to her is to call his phone on the weekend, and request him to hand his phone to her. He has done this in the past, but the whole last month he has refused to answer his phone or return my calls. He also will not answer if I text him. I don’t get sick very often, but I this month I had the intestinal flu, then the upper respiratory flu, and I am now getting over a cold. I didn’t want to spread my germs so I didn’t go to their house. The last time I saw my daughter in person was in January, we had a great time and there was no issue between her and I. Nothing has changed since then, except he called and told me not to come around and then stopped answering his phone and won’t explain why. I do not have a criminal history and I have done nothing wrong. He has a long history of manipulating me, and this feels like more of the same.

    The worst part is that he now has my daughter brainwashed, to the point that she says things like “we (meaning her and her dad) are a team, we are moving on, and we don’t want mom to come around.” She has also accused me of “killing” her dad by stressing him out because he asked me to move back in to help with the bills and I refused.

    When I am around her we enjoy each others company, especially if I take her somewhere and her dad isn’t around. She also never tells me she doesn’t want to see me, I only hear that through my ex husband and my older daughter. Her actions say otherwise. When I am visiting and her dad is around, my daughter won’t be as friendly with me, and she will look to him to see what her reaction “should be” to something I say, and agree with whatever her dad says. Recently though, she has started to be more neutral during conversations, and has even corrected her dad a few times and defended me. It’s clear to me, my older daughter, his family, my family and some mutual friends that he is manipulating her. My older daughter isn’t taking anyone’s side, but she agrees with me on the reasons for leaving the marriage and she doesn’t like what her dad says and does.

    I am left feeling like a crappy mom because I don’t get to raise my younger daughter, and I’m at the end of my rope and don’t know what to do. I would take custody of her in a second, but right now she wouldn’t want to live with me due to her dads manipulations.

    Thanks for “listening” and if anyone has any suggestions please help.
    a frustrated mom.

    • Frustrated Mom, Wow! It’s been a long emotional roller-coaster. Imagine your daughter’s perspective. Take a deep breath. Make peace. He can’t stop you from seeing your daughter without a court order. You can file a contempt and if he is found in willful contempt, he could go to jail. That may make things worse with your daughter so you could ask the Judge just to find him in contempt and rather than jail time, you get more time with your daughter. Since he’s going to counseling, perhaps ask for counseling for your daughter or an evaluation of your daughter to make sure she’s okay. The Judge will be concerned about your daughter’s well-being, but if she will side with her Dad regardless, don’t waste your time in court. Spend your time on her and stop fighting about the father, period. If she blames you, agree and say “I would have done things differently now and I’m sorry for what you have had to go through. You’re all that matters to me. I don’t want to come between you and your father, I just want us to have a mother-daughter relationship. What can I do to make that easy on you?” Not much time left with her being 15. It’s so sad that the divorce is still the central focus. If it were me – I would only focus on her and I would do everything short of kissing his butt to make peace and be a family as much as possible. No matter what I thought of him, I would treat him with respect and eat crow for her. Best of luck.

  • stephanie

    I am currently the Non-Custodial Parent, however i need to take my son the doctor, and his father is throwing a fit, and says that I dont have the right to do it on his time. Although, we have Joint Manag. Conserv., which states we both can manage his health…so Im curious if I can do this, even though by the papers I dont get till 6pm Wednesdays, his appointment is at 3, so does that mean I have to use that time as our visit, or can i just keep him till our time is over.

    • Normally, you can’t vary from the Order without both parties agreeing, depending on the language of course. Can you let the other parent go to the doctors with you? If not, will the other parent keep the appointment? Let us know how things turn out and we hope your son is okay.

  • Cole

    We were renting a couple of rooms from “friends” when one if them decided to continue sending emails to DCF regarding my daughters care. The case was obviously closed, and the case worker even stated he was a weird. Clearly this person was attempting to interfere with our relationship (mother and child). I was wondering that since all the erroneous emails not only put my daughter in a stressful state but seemed an obvious attempt to have my child removed from my care; if he can be charged with custodial interference (where he’s not related) or something else? He committed perjury with DCF, he abused my daughter and I by willfully causing us stress, and maybe even defamation of character!!??

    • Cole, only a Judge could say for sure. But, a TPO (temporary protective order) sounds reasonable – that should protect you for 30 days then you have a hearing and present your case and if the Judge finds cause, it will become a Restraining Order and if they ever bother you again, it’s aggravated stalking. That’s my suggestion.

  • Ron

    In Mercer County, Pennsylvania, things are ass backwards!
    There is NO custody order between me and my ex-wife or any court appointed visitation…
    I’ve tried to call AND go to my son’s school to get information and they refused to give it to me. They said ‘Because I didn’t registered him, I don’t have a right to receive any information about him’ That it’s up to my ex-crazy-wife to put me down on the paperwork or ‘so sorry’ can’t help! Even if I showed them my son’s birth certificate, SS Card with my name CLEARLY listed as the father and my own documentation, I’m still SOL 🙁

    That crazy looney has now stuck my 5-YEAR-OLD son in a psychiatric ward! He acted up on the way home from school, hit a few kids and the bus driver and grabbed the wheel of the bus. I’m not saying what he did wasn’t wrong, but he’s 5-YEARS-OLD! He might need some counseling, but he doesn’t need to be locked up with all the attempted suicides! That place is for true kids with real mental problems, my son doesn’t have that! He was just being a brat, he deserves a good spanking and some counseling at the most!

    I called the hospital, they won’t even let me see him!! In fact, when I asked about visitation at all, they called my crazy ex-wife again who then started shouting all these insane allegations against me and my new family.

    I can’t imagine how he’s feeling right now, being separated from everyone he knows and trusts, all alone with all those kids who really do need help. He’s a really sweet kid.

    I’ve called the only people I could think of, our local Child Services and they tell me that the schools and hospital can’t barr me from getting information about my son unless there’s a court order, which there isn’t and never was and that the hospital can’t lock him up like that unless he possess a threat to himself or others, which he doesn’t! At the very most, I think he should have been kicked off his bus for a week, the school didn’t even know that she put him away. I’m so scared for him.

    This state is terrible when it comes to custody lawyers too, there’s NO help out there for dads anymore.

    I’m really hoping my local Child Services step in and help my son since no one else will and they’re stopping me at every turn.

    • Ron, I agree with you – no one will help your child except you. You’re probably going to have to file an emergency hearing for custody. Gather all the evidence of everything you’re saying. Bring cameras, tape recorders if you can’t get in writing. Save voice messages or text messages. You’ll have to fight for custody. Without a custody order you have no rights to your child in most states. You have to at least be legitimized – you are naturally if you were married when the child was born – again, in most states. Each county has a law library – you look up legitimation and custody, read it, search online, see if anyone at the web site linked on my name (not my site, but they have a lot of resources for my state at least). Your best help is other parents who have been through where you are now. You need to hurry, these things being done to your child could do irrevocable damage, put him on medications, etc. that according to you, may not be necessary. Regardless, you have to find out what is best for him and do all you can to help him. If she has done this because she can’t handle it and sequestered you, it won’t fair well for her in court if you have a fair judge. You and your son will be in our prayers. Stay calm, but move fast and with extreme focus to get to him as soon as you can.

  • Martha

    My daughter and her child’s father have dual restraining orders. The court ordered the grandparents to make all exchanges of my grandson. After 35 exchanges the other grandparents did not show up at the designated place. The child’s father has a brother who was at the parking lot waiting to take the child from us. He approached our car, told us that the other grandparents were out of town and started telling us that he figures since he is “blood” he could take him. I told him I could only give my grandson to the grandparents. He said that his brother (the child’s dad) had called our attorney three times. He said he left voice messages. He said that his dad had also called our attorney several times. I told him that we would be in contempt of court if we let him take our grandson. He said that he would not tell anyone , if we did not tell anyone. He also said that his brother’s attorney said it was alright for the baby to go with him. The restraining orders give provision for parenting issues..The judge wrote that they may text through THIRD PARTY any parenting time issues. The brother clearly was not aware, and lied to threaten us. As a consequence, since we had no written- text of permission to let our grandson go, we did not release him to him. We did try to call our daughter’s attorney. The child’s uncle was very impatient and would not stay past 10 minutes. We tried desperately to resolve the issue. The father prevented his own parenting time, by not texting, according to the order. My daughter initiated parenting time- the dad refused to communicate to us. They filed enforcement of parenting time. court is Mar 18. I did not know this man, I had seen him, but he had never been authorized to take our grandson. How were we supposed to know if his dad authorized it? He changed his story over and over. We brought the child back to his mother. The dad also did that on Jan 14- this time he did not text, nor show up. the baby is 19 months old. We have not filed any abandonment charges on him. We ar being called in to court for a show cause as to why we did not let the child go to his unauthorized uncle. I have been a preschool teacher for years- my policy has always been to not ever release a child to an unauthorized person. did I interfere with this man’s parenting time, or is he in the wrong for not providing text pre-authorization? He refused to obey the order and we are now having to defend ourselves after 70 successful exchanges on our part.

  • annonymos

    I live in ohio, i am 17 and have a daughter of my own… i live with my father and cant handle it anymore.. he has taken almost $1,000 from me, takes my WIC i get for the baby and i, and tells me i am a horrible mother. my daughter is 4 months old. he has me and the baby sleeping on an airmattress in the living room of his girlfriends house, its been this way for a months, before the air mattress we were stuck on a couch. The house is infested with fleas, and i dont want to be here or want the baby here. I pay for my own car insurance, phone, and baby expenses. i want to move in with my mom.. I’m at the point of taking my stuff and up and leaving, i’ve asked if i could go live with her and he said if i leave i am never to come back. than tells my sister if i leave hes calling the cops. If i leave can my mom be charged woith custodial interference? can my mom get into trouble? and can i be chargered as a runaway? any advice will be highly appreciated.. thankyou..

    • How long until you’re 18? You have to check Ohio laws, but I think at 17 you can’t be a run-away – call your local police and ask them. If it’s that bad, I would leave – the Order doesn’t hold you to interfering with custody of yourself??? I would also ask the police where your Mom lives what they would do. They would probably tell your Dad it’s a civil matter and to file a contempt with the court. What about your younger sister, do you really want to leave her? Perhaps it’s time for Mom to go back to court and get custody????

  • net

    I live in California and my stepson lives in south carolina with his mother. Over the years she had made excuses not to follow the the visitation agreement. We are to have him every other christmas and every summer. She is not responding to our requests. We have offered to pay for any and all travel expences to bring him out even though our court orders say that we must split the cost. She now states that we can only have vistation if we go to south carolina. That he is not to leave.the.state. Is that legal? What can we do to correct this heart breaking issue.

    • If the Court Order states that is the visitation and she interferes, it is contempt or interference with custody, according to the law, but check your state laws or with an attorney. If she is saying he can’t leave the state, what does that mean? He’s on probation? If that were the case, it’s not her fault. You may have to do a background check on your step-son and see if he has any charges against him. Meanwhile, certified mail to the mother to stop interference with custody. That way you have proof she would not respond appropriately when asked. Good luck. I am not an attorney.

  • stormy

    I’m the non custodial mother of 2 kids and the father has primary residence. We have a court order that states that we have joint custody and i have visitation rights with my 2 kids. When he come and took the children from school back to were he lives, the teacher asked for contact information from him so we could keep in touch. He refused and basically said she will never see her kids again. That was in 10/10/12. Its 3/6/13 and i haven’t seen or heard from my kids. I don’t know where they live exactly or a phone number. I keep getting the run around on what to do. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

  • Klynn

    My husband has a court order for visitation of his son that was signed by a judge in 2008, the mother has refused to allow the child to visit our home since the order was signed. He has gone back to court, called the police, and still all the while trying to contact the mother for full compliance, with no reasonable results. The mother has now changed her residence and we don’t know where she lives. We don’t believe she has left the state, however not seeing his son in almost 4 years causes great concern and worry about his well-being. What if anything can be done to make the mother comply with said order in Colorado? I feel as if this is a case of kidnapping in state. Am I wrong? Please help.

  • John Doe

    My son’s mother has already filed a court date and its 3 months from now, and she will not let me see my son until then. What can I do in order to see my son before the court date? And if filing for an emergency hearing is the only option for me, will I be denied by the court if I only state that it is for the best interest of the child to be able to see me while waiting for our court date especially since he has been with me about 95% of the time for the last three months! Or do you think that is not a good enough reason for the court to grant me the emergency hearing?

  • I was caught in a situation as a family law attorney with separate-state divorcees who wanted split-week custody with switching weekends when they had over a 5 hour drive between the 2 of them. There was nothing I could do since they both agreed, but just the thought of two kids getting schlepped 3-4 times a week was sickening. Poor parenting at its finest.

    • I think it’s great they agreed on something. A shame it wasn’t something more reasonable. lol! Don’t let the frustration get you discouraged – sometimes attorneys are the only ones keeping a cool head in custody cases and not enough good attorneys want to do family law because of the frustration of seeing the best interest of a child neglected. Because you care so much, I hope you stick it out!!!

  • She’s interfering with custody? Call the police and tell them you want to press criminal charges for interference with custody by showing them the Order. That is, if there is not any reason for her to stop allowing visitation and if there was, she should have filed the emergency hearing. Keep track of everything. Find the code/statute/law for your state for interference with custody and have it ready for the police. Some states require that you do something before that point, like send a letter, certified mail and give them 30 days, but I would say do everything you can legally. She is trying to change the custody by keeping the child with her and alienating you. You have to stop it faster with a contempt filed in court, if the police can’t get a warrant for interference with custody. Don’t back down, your child is being kidnapped against a COURT ORDER – that’s how the Court sees it – she is going against THEM – they don’t care about you so much. Good luck! Work fast, send certified letters, leave messages, record them, send texts, etc. within reason so you’re not harassing. Make your first message that the police are coming for her for interference with custody and this is her last warning or you will go to the full extent of the law. Is she explaining why she is keeping the child(ren)? I am not an attorney. I have no affiliation with the attached web site, it’s just helped families I know.

  • Karina

    Ok so I have court in April with the father of my first daughter. What will most likely happen custody (visitation) wise. I really would hate for him to be able to take my daughter and her being with him without supervision. The reason is that when he and I were together he was both physically and mentally abusive. He smokes weed and parties and drinks a lot. Then, after we broke up he found a new girlfriend and I seen him beating her outside his house. Also nor he nor his family have made .mmnattempt to even see her or help me with anything for her in almost a year even though they live 4 houses down from mines. (She is now 2). If the court order for me to allow him to take her would I get in trouble if I refuse to let him take her?

    • Karina, If you do not follow the Court Order willfully, you are in Contempt and you will go to jail or pay a fine or you could even lose custody. Whatever the Court decides you have to follow, just like he would. You have to have proof of any of these things and present them in Court. If you just talk bad about him, you look like the bad parent, because you had a child with him and choose him as the parent/partner.
      You say the father of your first daughter who is 2 and you have another child younger? Are you married? Were you married? What are you going to court for in April? You won’t get supervised visitation without proven cause – it’s expensive (unless the court allows it with a family member) and should not be thrown out there lightly.
      Prepare to share the child with the other parent. Children really need both parents and believe me, you will be happier having the help to parent, even if you are mad at him now.
      If there are serious issues that would endanger the child, prove it in court and you will get your supervised visitation. Just talk about it and it may turn on you.
      If you don’t get it right then, don’t get mad…keep track of everything and if/when it is appropriate or there is a major change of circumstance file for a change in custody.
      Meanwhile, try to prepare for the best. Lots of partners that stunk as boyfriend/girlfriend end up making great parents. I pray that is true for your daughter and her father and you…

  • chris s.

    What if the decree did not state the transportation arrangements clearly, but states this: The receiving party must pay all of the transportation costs, and that the child may fly as an unaccompanied minor on a airplane, and finally the non -receiving parent would have to help with the transportation? In my case it doesn’t say how far I would have to travel, and the other parent wants me to travel over 100 miles to get the child on an unaccompanied flight outside of my city by over 2-3hrs. Who’s responsibility is it? and what do I do about it if the other parent is trying to make me do only that option for return.

    • It says the receiving parent has to cover the expenses – that’s you. Who paid for the flight? It also says the non-receiving parent has to help. 100 miles to the airport – is that the closest airport? I’m figuring they paid for the ticket since you don’t like the airport – it would be better for you to drive the 100 miles – that’s $40 at 10/miles a gallon ($80 round trip which is cheaper than the ticket). If you’re paying all of it, the other parent has to help – which is like saying “good luck” on an order when they are non-specific. You get to see your child – that’s more than a lot of parents – so find a way to make the drive and don’t worry about the rest. Have a great visit!

  • Marry Hopkins

    I am a custodial parent and due to the fact the noncustodial parent is on probation for 2years now for a possession charge, has had a job in 2years, has no car, and lives at a motel….also doesn’t pay child support I have moved (not out of state) without giving him any information on our residence. What’s going to happen and what should I do?

    • If your court order states you have to let the parent know where the child is or any visitation or other communication is on that Order you are in willful contempt and possibly interference with custody. You should give them the info. You are not allowed to unilaterally (on your own accord) terminate parental rights.

  • kansas

    I am the custodial parent and in the court ordered parenting plan it states “The parents shall consult with one another to discuss a schedule for the summer months, which shall be finalized on or before March 1st of each year.” I have asked him several times about this and he always says “I don’t care” So since he hasn’t given me an answer what do I do now about the summer? He honestly doesn’t seem to want to have her.

    • Oh God, I hope you’re wrong. That would devastate any child.

      Legally, I would make sure I had mail, voice messages, cell texts, whatever to prove that I tried to fulfill the Order so he can’t say you interfered or are in willful contempt.

      As a parent, I would ask him if these dates (I choose) were all right with him, because it’s important that he show up at the times she is ready to go with him.

      If he doesn’t respond and make plans then I would tell him that if he doesn’t keep his visitation that he may put himself in a position to lose custody, but he will definitely break her heart. Is that what he wants?

      Good luck.

  • David

    My ex wife moved to denham springs Louisiana w our 5 year old daughter! She got involved w an ex con who was in jail for several accounts of domestic violence! I have done everything I can to keep things civil between my ex wife and I, I’ve helped her w buying clothes for our daughter when she couldn’t afford to buy them…..I am doing everything I ca n to stay civil w her but her boyfriend or fiance or whatever he may be to her complicated things Easter Sunday upon meeting me at a local truck stop topick our daughter up! My ex let this man curse at me, threaten to do physical harm to me and say a lot of negative things about me in front of our 5 year old daughter and her 2 year old twin sisters! So my question is simply this…….is there anything I can do about this legally considering they are residents of Louisiana and I’m from Mississippi?

    • It posted separately so I’m posting again under yours as a reply…

      It would be better if you stay calm and show your daughter how a man who loves her acts. You tell her it’s all right, he’ll calm down.
      Then, when you have her with you, you tell her that if that man does anything to her or her mother, that she is to call 911 and tell them what is happening and then call you. You may want to speak to a domestic violence hotline or professional and ask them how you can best protect and talk to your child so you don’t scare them but equip them to protect themselves when you’re not there.
      If anything like that happens, you file an emergency petition and get her out of there! Work with the domestic violence in the area where the child and mother are. That’s what I would do. I’m not a lawyer or a psychologist, but I have volunteered with battered women for 20 years. I would not want my child in a situation like that. If he can’t control himself around you, what does he do when he has them alone????

  • Keight

    What if my ex has moved to a different state across the country and will not give me her phone #? A phone call is the only way I have to contact my children…..we are in the process of filing paperwork for divorce/parenting plan. She will communicate with me via email when she feels like it or needs something but refuses to give me her phone #. Is there anything I can do?

    • Legally you can’t do anything until you have a Court Order.
      How old is she? He should give you the phone number regardless.
      That will not make him look good when you go to court, so just keep trying to communicate with her. What is the reason she doesn’t want to talk to you? I wouldn’t talk about the divorce or him, just talk about her and show her that you love her and she is more important than the adult issues between you and her father that have split up her family. I would ask her what does she want because you’ll be going to court for visitation – what would make her happy. Ask her how she feels, how she is doing, what she wants, what you can do to help her if she’s having a hard time.

  • SB

    the biological fathers mom took my son for the day so my baby daddy and I could go out until we moved at three but we packed all our stuff along with our sons into her truck before she dropped us off. she was supposed to get us at three and at five I found out the father and her had taken him, the father and I are not married hes not on the birth certificate and he hasn’t been there since three weeks before our son was born. he was in our sons life for two days before this happened the police wont do anything because its a civil matter and the dad and his mom have refused to let me see my son since this happened six days ago. how can I get my son back?

  • anon

    I was granted visitation with my kids every weekend, Saturday 4pm to Sunday at 6, and split holidays. My ex handed me a schedule she created which makes me only get my daughters once a month because of plans she made with the kids and is now denying me of any time with them for the holidays I am only now allowed to stop by and see them according to her. Is this custodial interference, and what can be done?

    • She can’t do that if you have an Order – It has to be followed or you have to agree/negotiate another arrangement. Call, email and mail her certified letters she is committing willful interference if she interferes with your custody and that you will press charges; then find the statute for interference with custody in your state – call the police and demand a warrant for interference with custody which is criminal, not civil and after she is arrested, file a contempt. She will probably lose custody if she does this because she is showing she thinks she is the only parent. The ORDER is the LAW, not either of you. Good luck. I am not an attorney.

    • CALA1972

      If you have an order that is signed by a judge that is the only thing both parties are bound to. If she or you want to change it you must file in court with the judge for what is called a “Modification of Visitation.” Be careful she does not file it on her end as the likelyhood of her getting what she wants is about 85% especially if she has an attorney or has hit you with a order of protection.

      In your case document everything and file a Contempt of Court immediately. If it lingers too long the judge will look at it as culpable neglagence and ignore you. Get an attorney on this and proceed forward otherwise you may find yourself in a battle as myself thinking you are dealing with someone who may still be civil yet has gone off the deep end a long time ago.

      My case is still in court as my ex has refused me visitation found a judge to remove all communication temporarly from me without cause until it goes to a trial and that has started with this new judge in a new state 18 months ago (4 judges later mind you). It turns out that the parental interference otherwise truly called “Parental Allienation” has gotten so bad the kids want nothing to do with me and the GAL and court costs are rising by the day. We are talking nearly $125,000 spent to date which could had gone to my kids. Gotta love a combative and irrational parent.

      Good luck! Who knows you may get custody.

  • Lisa

    i agree with everybody when they say why are we going to the court? when they give rules and is not been following for one of the parties and only they do is give hard time to the other side and when you call for help to this sources :police,court,DCFS,sheriff,lawyers NO ONE ,ABSOLUTELY NO ONE SEEMS ARE THERE TO DO NOTHING so how you can protect your child?from the other parent ;who can help you ? why they open a case investigation? when they don’t do their job good,what is the point to go to the court and see the judge “supposed to help and protect the child” when is not happening i’m sorry but all this systems works wrong they want to wait until the child be in the hospital or about to die than do something NO WONDER SO MANY CRAZY PEOPLE WANTS TO TAKE JUSTICE BY THEIR OWN HANDS because is no help at all and make you frustrated because is your child the one is in this situation the one you have them 9 months inside you and only a real MOTHER who gave the birth of her child with pain can suffer and worry for him/her and a real and excellent DAD would feel the same specially when they are so little and innocent,confuse,scare,intimidate,they don’t know who is bad or good and if they do know they just love them both parents is not fear for a child to go through this and is not fear for a good parents to be frustrated with no help “ALL THE GOOD PARENTS SHOULD HAD THEIR KIDS FULL CUSTODY AND VISITATIONS FOR THE BAD ONES UNTIL ONE OF THE PARTIES FAILURE ;IS ONLY FAIR ,THE KIDS WOULD BE PROTECTED AND ABLE TO SEE BOTH PARENTS.THEY DON’T DESERVED TO LIVE IN THIS NASTY MESS FROM IMMATURE AND CHILDLESS ADULTS.SHAME TO THEM.

  • lIZ


    • Served by the sheriff so there’s a record? Doesn’t show? Up to the judge, but usually a no-show is a win for the serving and appearing side???

  • SAsBrokenHeartBunny

    My sons grandmother, Symone, on his fathers side took my two-month old son Tuesday before last. My sons dad, Branden, does not stay with his mother or my son, he stays with his sister. if he didn’t stay with her hed be at the homeless shelter, and he has no job. I’ve filed domestic abuse reports against my sons father and my sons auntie, on his fathers side. The grandmother, Symone, has domestic abuse reports filed against her from when my sons father was eight years old. She threw a lamp at him, then made him go to school with the black eye that resulted from the lamp being chucked at his face: and then my sons father filed a police report on her for doing that. He up and left the city today to go to Houstan to throw himself upon my roommate up there begging her to give him the diapers id left behind when I came down to San Antonio to allow him to meet his son. when I reached sa turns out hes in jail for robbing a walgreens. then he wasn’t there when I went into labor with our son, because he said and I quote “I want to smoke a blunt and f*** these hos I found down on the riverwalk”, then when I had him on speakerphone with the B.C. lady after our son was born he stated adamantly that he did not want to be put on the birth certificate, because “I do not want to be a dad yet, im serious *Bunny*, I am not ready to be a father.” then I spent the next two weeks going up to the nicu every day for two weeks for eight hours each day because our son *Cash* was born two months early. During these two weeks Branden was “going through hoes as quick as a *black person* runs from a KKK meeting”. Then over the next two months I tried to convince him to come and see his son, which he refused to do even after Cash’s paternity had been established. Finally, I just got fed up with it, and I took him to see Branden instead of waiting for Branden to come up to see him. Well two weeks after getting out of jail, and two days after Cash and I moving in with him and his sister, Sara, him and his mom were moving us locations. We couldn’t stay where we had been because his sister, Sara, had been arrested the day before for attacking me. So I had taken the police to the room and she was arrested, which in turn caused Branden and I to have to switch apt motels. So the next day Symone came and she packed everything into her truck, during which I was feeling uncomfortable, because she had watched mine and b’s son the night before, and had neglected to bring him with her now, because “theres not enough room for all of ya’lls things and the carseat” then she informed us she had an appt. to get to, so she was going to drop us off and she’d be back to get us at three, which was right after her appt. and the same time as our new apt. motel room was supposed to be open. well I had nothing to do, so I just sat and waited at a park and ride. Branden went downtown to go and get stoned. Well after two I was getting nervous because Symone was not answering her phone, and then Branden took off from the bus stop(park and ride) to downtown around two thirty. Then three came and went, so did four, and around four-thirty I start freaking out, right, because no one is answering their phones. I texted Branden and Symone telling them I was going to call the police if my son was not in my arms by five. then Branden finally called me back saying how Symone was fine, no Cash and her had not gotten into a car wreck, and she was just delayed because of traffic. Then he and I were texting back and forth until six-thirty when his phone died, or was turned off, and I still had not heard from Symone. So I freaked out calling both of them until seven thirty, at which point I called the police for kidnapping on Symone. When the police got to her house though they said there was nothing they could do about it, because he was there, and since he was the blood father, it didn’t matter if he wasn’t on the Birth Certificate, and I wasn’t getting my son back. they said it is a civil matter and I have to take it to court. The problem is is that I don’t know where Branden is staying and he doesn’t know where I am staying. apparently he just left the city last night went to houstan, and is on his way to his aunties house in Mississippi. on top of being about to leave the state, him and his mother have been denying me visitation with my son, for the last two weeks now, I have gotten my son things which they refuse to give to him, ie. a wet wipe warmer, because he hates being cleaned during a diaper change with cold wipes. I have tried to serve my sons father papers, but whenever theyre about to be served to him he moves to a different location, so then I have to turn around and start all over trying to find him. What can I do to get my son back. HELP ME PLEASE!?! IM DESPERATE TO GET MY SON BACK.

  • babygurl073

    My question is, about joint legal custody. My fiance has joint legal custody with his ex, she is the primary caretaker, they have two children a boy 10 and girl 6. We had moved from California in December and since the move his ex has broken the order several times. My fiance is to have open phone access to the children and she either keeps the phone unplugged ( which she has told their 10 year old son is due to telemarketer calls) or tells the children if they pick up the phone they will be in trouble. We have gone to court and due to her behavior have been granted 7 weeks instead of 5. We are also taking her to court for contempt in May so she will have to answer for what she is doing. We are worried that the children are in danger with their mother, we feel she is mentally unstable due to some of the things she has done in the last 2 year we have been fighting with her so he can see his children with out her at his home. When the children come for summer vacation we want to keep them since we believe they are in danger from their mother. We are planning on filing papers to ask for legal custody, we are just working on getting the forms to file. My question is what are the penalties for not returning the children after visitation and is there a form you can file that will allow us to keep the children until the judge decides where they should be placed. One thing we have been thinking about doing is finding a legal rep to help us with this issue. Any help you can give me would be great. Thank you for your time.

  • kGordon

    I am a non- custodial parent, I filed a restraining order against my sons father for stalking and harassment. in 2010.. Around that time i was in the process of moving (still in the same state but 200 miles away).. During the restraining order case he asked for a continuance and then imminently filed for custody of our son… So i was served and then i waited for the court date… To my surprise i had gotten a phone call about two weeks prior to the court date from my son father, stating he just got out of court and that he has custody.. I was never aware or informed that the court date moved forward or anything! But since then we have never followed the schedule. Instead of every other weekend, he has had me take our son for weeks here a week there… Even as of this year i had him the entire month of January two weeks in February. February 25th 2013 is the date I moved back due to a job transfer.and since February 28th 2013 He asked me to start taking him 5 days a week and him 2 days.. So my question is can i do anything as far as my son father who has custody handing him over to me? I have him 5 days a week and he has him 2 but still demands me pay child support… If i mention dropping child support and working our schedules like adults he gets mad and tries punishing me saying he will take my son back and go by the papers..

  • motheroftwo

    I have sole legal physical custody of my son and I allowed him to go live with his dad and stepmom to attend a better school. Now they are divorcing and my sons father moved him in with the grandfather, The grandfather had a restraining order put out on me so I can not come on the property to stop me from coming to get him when school is out in May. Can he get a custody hearing in 5 weeks and take my son? Can he get temporary custody or guardianship?

  • Tiparoo

    Can a noncustodial parent claim “custody interference” after mother kidnapped the child, filed a false report of abuse, and a restraining order and then the court found no evidence of abuse and dismissed the case and restraining order entirely? Meanwhile The mother used that time to skip out of sight and it has taken 4 years to find child.

    • Tiparoo – That definitely seems like custodial interference, kidnapping (was it out of state, that’s worse), and even child abuse. What’s happening now that they found the child?

  • hmm

    i live in new york state, and wanting to move. is there any state that does not go by new york states child custody laws? the “sperm doner” of my son is making it impossible to move, he has visitation, but he never comes anyways.

    • True Feminine

      What lucky children you have. The father is a “sperm donor” and what does that make you? A “sperm bank”? Oh, that’s why you get child support? Not because you’re both parents, according to you????

      I know you probably heard that other places and are repeating it, but it’s disgusting and it makes women sound like whores and idiots, because they are calling themselves “sperm banks” when they say that men/fathers are just “sperm donors”.

      I know it’s aggravating to deal with men when you don’t want to, but it’s your chance to stop being self-absorbed and think about your child(ren). How you can love your children and think their father is a “sperm donor” is beyond my comprehension as a woman. Even if I hate the man, I love him as their father. My selfish petty needs do not go before theirs. God forbid because “wherever envy and self-seeking exists there is confusion and every evil thing” James 3:16

    • wesley sanzone

      Yeah I would start buy not calling the the father that if you wish to be the primary care giver of the child! If he has a court ordered visitation schedule, then I would guess that he wants to see the child, and is the biological real father. You have to allow him to see the child , no choice in that , also he dose not need to see the child often but you can take him back to court to ask for less visitation time, but prob will not be granted it without a significant reason. You can not move out of state without getting a modification in the home state to relocate. You should be very careful about this kind of thing, as just moving will make you lose custody even if he sees the child just every once in a while, if that’s what he wants. In order to leave the state with the child you should make a court appearance before moving or your done. The idea is that the other parent and family lose visitation rights, and it warrants a change in custody for kid napping reasons. There is no place you can go in the usa even if the state doesn’t comply with the uccjae “home state’ laws of jurisdiction. The home state where the child has been residing for the last 6 months or in most cases , where the child was born is the home state . So a case against you may be presented and the FBI will look for you and lock you up for that, take away any real chance of ever having custody ever again, and your done so be careful of that. Especially when not telling the other parent where your going will be strait up , you will do so gail time for that as it’s kidnapping.

  • Nhjedi

    In NH what can be done if anything if the ex wife’s mother (grammie) is causing fights and refusing to let child go with the custodial father at the pick time agreed on? For example this weekend I went to pick up my son and my ex mother in law (who is always confrontational with me) started yelling and swearing at me and refusing to let my son leave; when I arrived at her home she continued yelling and refusing my son to come outside to me. I have physical custody today is the day he comes home and his mother agreed to let him come home early because she was working (we made the plans on Thursday). The grandmother has filed motions to intervene that have been thrown out and even requested temporary custody (again this was thrown out) while waiting for a hearing this summer. My ex wife has her mother doing all her visitation at this points and barley spends any time with our son and he has asked a few times not to go with grammie because of these issues. Can anything actually be done or is it something that we both have to deal with?

  • Mai

    As the custodial parent what can you do if non custodial parent doesn’t keep to visitation schedule or doesn’t even bother to call kids at schedule time that he requested or even call ever . Also his current girlfriend has physically abused the kids and a police report has bin filled along with pictures of bruises . Can I have visitation revoked or even parental rights .

    • stepmom888

      Hmmm this is an old post…are you absolutely sure the gf hurt the kids….my husband’s ex wife forced her child to lie and say I hurt her to a deputy who then filed criminal charges with no bruises evident, I called CPS myself and asked them to investigate…they found no evidence of abuse after investigating and talking with the kids, bio mom, me my bio kids and dad…

      If you call 911 and they came out great but did you also call CPS? You can go to family court if this happens again and file a temp restraining order…best wishes..

      The step-mom who married a man with a not so nice ex….

  • I have a court order allowing reasonable phone time from both parents durning non-parenting time. It’s only been 6 months that our daughter has had overnight visits every other wknd and some holidays upwards of a week-9 days w/ her non-custodial father. My almost 3 year old daughter is being coached/told to say, “mama, bye bye…” and nothing else. I know my daughter, and she will talk on with others and with me when she is not in their care. When I call her to say good morning and good night (which is part of our routine and allowed by the court order.) Especially, her being away for a week, I feel it is important for her to at least hear me say good morning sunshine and night night sweetheart. Have fun…I love you and we’ll see each other soon.” The calls are somewhere b/t 20-60seconds (including dialing/ringing time). (The biological father lives with his parents & won’t pick up his cell phone and I have to call their landline (and they only pick up if everyone is present). The entire family essentially answers the phone on behalf of my daughter conference call/speaker phone style, but do not really permit my daughter to talk to me.) When they allow my daughter to hold the phone, the father and his parents talk over her loudly, distract her in the background, push buttons on the phone to make noise, mute the phone, and tell her what to say (e.g. byebye, all done.) When I asked them not to train her to say “bye bye” once she [is allowed to] gets on the phone with me, now they tell her to say, “daddy, all done” and no dialogue is allowed and they hang up. What they are doing is cruel. Is there anything legal that I can do…? When she gets home, she tells me that they tell her to say byebye and all done when I mama calls.

    • jw

      what do these “adults” say when you talk to them? why won’t they leave her alone?

      keep a log of all the calls (or write down as much as you can from memory); time made, length of call, what happened, just the facts, no emotion.
      also helpful might be a log of incoming calls from them/him to her with same details and how you handle the calls, again with just the facts.

      and mention what your daughter told you.

      then it’s a contempt charge.

      really, dude and his family gotta to start caring about the kid…

  • Kailie

    My son who is 6 yrs old has to go with NCP for thirty days to be exercised in one week nonconsecutive days. This is the first time to do so and so he only stayed 4 nights. When he came home he started crying telling me that the NCP roped him around the neck and legs. I asked him if he told the dad he didn’t like that and he said yes but he just kept on mom. He said the gf also told him to stop but kept on and kept on. What do I do? He leaves on Sunday for a week and am not comfortable with him going. I am afraid to mention anything because for one there were no marks and two I don’t want him taking things out on my son . What are my rights? Also, the NCP told my son that he had to ride a horse by himself when e returns whether he likes it or not and he is absolutely terrified. I don’t think it’s right at all to make a child do something they do not want to do. The NCP’s Dad was almost killed half a year ago due to one of these horses.

  • broken

    I’m a ncp in Grays Harbor, WA. Not by choice; through ridiculous rulings by a commissioner acting as judge pro-tem. How do I get a REAL judge to look over the case so I can have more time with my boys? She has “flagged” our case so anything filed goes right to her. How do I get around that?

    • Lena Joe DelCampo-Elder

      In NJ we can appeal the decision the day it was ordered but we also have up to 30 days. If we do it that day are case is heard right away. If it’s been over the 30 days then we can file a new motion at any time, also in NJ as stupid as it sounds we can file a motion for custody/visitation for anyone’s children even if we don’t know them. Both parents have the right to know about any court hearing because you are filing the motion against the other parent and in NJ both parties have the right to defend or deny the motion brought forth. I think you should file a motion for more parenting time. Also in NJ we only see the commissioner the first time the motion is filed after that it’s always a Judge. I hope this helped you out a little and if I can help any more just let me know. I believe both parents have the right to raise there children not just the mother.

  • sadlymistaken

    I have residential and shared custody with my daughter and my grandson’s father. My daughter and I reside in NJ but father resides in Florida. In April I told my daughter to leave our home because of many behavioral changes, e.g. arrest, drugs, etc. She left and took baby too, then abandoned him at my relatives home. I went and brought him home, on July 6th it’s court ordered he goes to visit with father till September 6th, however both my daughter and my grandson’s father are making plans to leave my grandson with his father, and my daughter will continue to reside somewhere in NJ. They can’t do that without express order of the NJ State court.

  • AMC

    A signed custody agreements states that both the child can attend Family Therapy Sessions. Joint Legal Custody is in effect. The non-custodial parent refuses to let the child attend. State is Maryland. The non-custodial parent refused to attend the sessions and threatened the Social Worker with legal action if she proceeded to treat his child without his permission.

  • A

    The custodial parent of two children is unemployed, has never had a job. Child support is paid to her, visitation is regularly denied, police reports have been filed. She and the children live with grandma, and grandma claims children on her taxes. Custodial parent has been a college student for 10 years, and as of yet, has not obtained even an associates degree. I have not been able to find any information on courts enforcing the obligation of custodial parents to actually help to provide for children. Can this be grounds for a change in custody?

    • Lena Joe DelCampo-Elder

      I know in NJ that both parents have to provide for the children and if she has been in collage for 10 years the father should file a motion for child support to be lowered. On the old court order for child support it should show the % that both parents are responsible for, it may be like 50% each parent depending on how much each parent makes. Unemployment is a source of income so the courts should have calculated that as her income or they usually will input minimum wage times 40 hours to come up with the support amount if one of the parents does not work unless one can prove that they can’t work. I also know that in NJ the courts make one or more parents pay for insurance for which they add $200.00 a year in the support order but if the child has state insurance then you can have the courts take the $200.00 a year removed.

  • Lena Joe DelCampo-Elder

    If a judges orders my son to temporarily stay with a family member but I am still the custodial parent what does that mean in regards to custody? The court case we were there for was not even a custody case it was a violation of probation case for my son.

  • Screwedupsystem

    Jurisdiction Spent 12 years in FL. 3 months in CA 4 months in OH. File custody in FL. What court has jurisdiction?

  • cl

    a parent who has lost rights to his own biological child have standing as a custodian parent of someone else’s child

  • steph

    My husbands ex wife refuses to follow the court order to drop his son off for visits once a week. My husband is forced to drive to her house to pick his son up if he wants to see him at all. Is there anything we can do about this? They have joint custody

    • single mom

      Your husband has visitation ONCE A WEEK. Presuming his ex-wife cares for the child 24-hours a day the rest of the week, provides all the transportation, cooks meal, attends to all his son’s needs, etc. during this time, THE LEAST HE CAN DO IS GET OFF HIS BUTT

      • Shy

        Hey, Single Mom, I’ll GLADLY switch places with the custodial parent and take on all those responsibilities. You make it sound like such a burden being a parent. And violating a court order just hurts you in the end.

        • EvaDiva Houston


          • Larhonda Whitt


          • Jeff Cason

            If only all thought that way. I had a heart and supported the mother thru her Cps case at birth and even when she messed up again this time I told her to go get help and instead she would sit at her mother’s calling in crap I went thru two years of back to back hate calls and investigations I believe five or six of them none paned out and never was I doing drugs for the sake of my daughter then a different County help her by place a different guys case loads on me I still sent my daughter funds…

            If only they thought your way

      • Fathers for kids

        Where is the co/parenting in this remark? Stop thinking that you as a mother are more important then fathers.

        • EvaDiva Houston

          We aren’t more important, but we are not responsible for calling and calling you and bugging you to get up and actually to come pick up and see your kids and take them to be with you. I am all for your rights. Work those rights within reason, where children don’t get hurt. Don’t worry about the mother. If she’s crazy, let the court know you’d like mediation, there are safe haven drop offs to transfer kids to, look it up on the net.

        • Sherri Gunder

          Agreed. Parental alienation starts this way and the mothers typically make the experience painful. Usually, when the mother refuses to participate in developing healthy and positive co-parenting techniques. Both parents are equally important.

        • Josh jeffers

          Ok look thats offensive to the dads that are in there kids lives. Like myself I get my son every other weekend and I do everything I can to be In his life. My x always says I’m going by the papers and giving no slack to me. I’ve missed one weekend in 9 years! I pay $333.33 every month. The papers say she has to notify me anytime he is sick and I haven’t got even 1 courtesy call on his well being. Also I saw the comment about the dad having to do all the driving to pick up and drop off his kid. She doesn’t work and I live over a hour each direction. No that isn’t much to get my time with my son although I’ve done this for 9 years! She doesn’t let me call him or let him call me at anytime unless it’s the Friday I pick him up. Also she has not gave any updates about report cards or anything about his school work or performance. I only get my son 48 days out of 365 and I don’t get any phone conversations with him. My son is the light of my life, my everything,and my best friend. Time and time again he has asked her to let him call me or let me call him and yet she refuses every time. She cuts me no slack whatsoever and doesn’t allow anything outside of what the papers originally said but she is not upholding her part of the papers that she wrote up originally. I don’t want much I just want to be able to talk to my son or even get him extra day or two on spring break or a week or two during the summer when he’s not in school. So if anybody has anything to say encouragingly please feel free! I can take constructive criticism him but don’t act like I’m a deadbeat dad that doesn’t care and does not love his son! Any help at all with my situation would be greatly appreciated

          • Becki

            Hi Josh. I know this is a couple months later, but I thought I’d chime in, anyway. IF your divorce/custody agreement says she is supposed to notify you if he is ill and she hasn’t done that, she is in contempt and you DO have legal recourse. Anything that is in that agreement that has been signed, sealed and delivered so to speak is a court ORDER, If she isn’t doing all it says she is to do, she is in contempt. Of course, the same goes for you. It sounds like you’re doing all you’re supposed to, though. You may want to (if you haven’t already) start documenting each and every time you ask to call him, and are denied, or each time he asks to call you, and is denied. Also, just call him. If she refuses to let you talk to him, document that as well. Build your case, then call your attorney and let them know you want to address these issues legally. You shouldn’t have to have anyone’s permission to speak to your child.

          • Stacey Grace

            My son has been ripped from me and brainwashed by his father! And the funny thing is he ia not even raising him his mother is! And he has a daughter he does not give give a crap about dont even bother with her! I have joint cuatody and have not seen my son in a year! He does not tell me anything either..

          • Jacqueline Durden

            Why haven’t you taken him back to court, he can’t do that it’s not legal.

          • Nicole Sovie

            My situation is similar .. I agreed to giving him physical placement with joint custody. I was 18 years old then. It started immediately. Kept him from me. Actually got me arrested numerous times when I would go pick him up. Him and his family ganged up on me, pushed me right over the edge. I had a nervous breakdown. I did go back to court and was shocked over how little they cared that he was doing this stuff. I saw a lawyer who said that it would be ME who got abandonment. I never abandoned my son.. I did stop going and picking him up because the harassment and emotional torture would cause this sever depression.. Life went on and I had other children and was married. I had to look out for them as well BUT I always called and wrote letters always with him telling me my son had a “new mommy” and did not want me. I gave up one the court system but never on trying to see him. I was so stupid then and so weak. I felt like I was fighting the entire world. When My son was almost 16 years old his father brought me back to court for support , stating he ‘HAD to raise Jordan all these years” … He lied in front of the magistrate telling me my son wanted a relationship knowing I would just agree to pay anything and I did. It was a lie. Support was set at a ridiculous amount and I was refused modifications because I refused to let the father view my personal health records. paid him thousands but could not keep up. He used the court to destroy me and it almost did. My son is 21 years old now.. and of course his father wants those arrears for a child I have not seen since he was 3 years old. They did not care about that though. My son even joined in the manipulation by friending me on FB just to block me three months later … two weeks after that i received paperwork for court so now I know it was just to get information. I am fighting back though now. I have learned how corrupt the system is. I wish I was not so scared back then because now I am just pissed! I wish you the best of luck <3

          • Jacqueline Durden

            Take her to court,and tell the judge what’s been going on if you are really serious about this. Trust me you can get more time put in for a motion to change custody. I wish you luck

      • Woman who’s angry @ single mom

        Wow, single mom…

        Apparently you got stuck with one of the bad ones, but not all fathers are like that. My husband’s ex has been denying him contact and visitation for almost four months now- she won’t allow the child to call his father, my husband can’t get a hold of his son (when he texts or calls, she says she’ll have the child call back but NEVER does), she’s been kicked out of her last boyfriend’s house; she’s homeless (she’s currently living with her mother). They have joint custody but she does absolutely nothing to make the arrangement work. Nothing at all. Currently, if he wants to see his son, he has to go see him at school during lunch. Now that school is out, we don’t know when we’ll see him next. The ex expects everything come from my husband because she has, literally, nothing. No home, no job, no money, no vehicle, no education- NOTHING. In addition to child support, my husband is responsible for all the travel to see / pick up the boy, clothing, shoes, school supplies; you name it, we pay for it. It’s scary because she has a different man around monthly because she uses them for what she needs like cigarettes, drugs, shoes or clothes for the kid, a place to stay when she needs it, gas and a free ride to where she needs to go. Welfare only covers so much and far be it from her to actually work (the child is 8 years old and since she got pregnant, she’s been on welfare, refusing any and all employment opportunities that are offered to her) and provide for herself or her son. Once these men realize what the game is, they split. We worry constantly about what kind of people she has in the child’s life and what might happen to the boy if one of them is the “wrong” type.

        We live in the great state of New York and here, the fathers can’t catch a break when they deserve one. It’s wrong that the courts consider the mother to be the “primary parent” just because they have the vagina that birthed the child. In our case, the mother is a legitimate loser and the father should, without question, be awarded full custody but since the child isn’t being beaten or otherwise abused, we’re screwed and the child is growing up in just as terrible an environment as if he was being abused.

        So, single mom, get over yourself and your put-upon, martyr pity party. If you’re so burdened by having children, you shouldn’t have to begin with. Not every single mother is Miss Amazing. Not every father is a piece of shit. It makes me furious that you label them all the same because it’s women like you who make it increasingly difficult for the good, devoted & dedicated fathers to get custody from vile, lowlife single mothers when they need to.

        • Linda Schillinger-Spiegel

          The fact that the child’s mother is now homeless…the father now has the ability to go to court and claim himself as the more fit parent. This is the time to do it. Therefore he can have full custody of his child and the child will be safe.

          • EvaDiva Houston


          • collegebasketballfan




        • TBH

          Wow…sounds like you’re tired of paying his child support for him…..hunty…just remember that the things men do to their ex’s is sometimes doomed to be repeated on you….if he has a type then that means you are it and so is she….be more constructive and stop tearing the other woman down because she gets your husbands attention….just be quiet it has nothing to do with you…accept that and you will be better off because in the end it will wind up being what he tells you himself….dig?…don’t take on his battles if it doesn’t require…..

        • Thomas Gearjammer Marlowe

          Take her ass to mediation. Get an agreement in place. Once she violates that agreement, take her ass to court siting the failure of mediation. A judge will NOT look kindly of her and MAY strip her of physical placement. Especially since she has no address of her own.

        • Larhonda Whitt

          Omg I can hug you right now chy ???????you said it honey yasss! My son going through this right now with his thirsty behind baby momma whom is still in love with him and she married. But uses the child to get at my son smh wow

      • A Fathers Love

        Single Mom,

        Regardless that is your opinion. Your opinions even if true has not even addressed the question that was being asked. No one cares what you think. The question is what can be done about the mother not following the court order. I am sorry to say this but you are nothing special. So what if the father can or can not got to pick up the child. That is not what the order states. Secondly, I would like to rag on you for using the name “single mom” are you sure that you using that title correctly. A single mother to child is when a the father of the child have no connections, when the father does not communicate to the child nor does he pay child support. A single parent raises a child single handedly. Please correct me if I am wrong. Even if the father fails to pay child support but still spends quality time with that child then two parents are raising the child correct, not one. So are you truely a single mom or just a mom with an strong ego thats dumbfounded when responding to real life questions that DOES NOT require a dumb opinion like yours. Just answer a simply question or keep on moving over sister.

        Even though I am 10 months behind Steph, I would push that fact look for a lawyer that would give you a free hour of their time and fight the issue. Not only would it help your man but all men to show them that they can stand up to an unjust system that makes the laws but does not enforce them to protect the fathers. Otherwise we are just letting our fathers, brothers, sons, and etc. get stepped on by these wicked women and unjust courts.

      • A Fathers Love

        Stay strong gentlemen and fight for the best interest of your child. Just remember these three things they are what matter.

        1.) A child needs their father in the lives just as much as their mothers.

        2.) The only thing a mother can do after birth that a father can not do is breast feeding. In which is only a 12 month period, hopefully less. Other than that a father can raise a child in the exact same manner as a mother can, if not better.

        3.) Lots of mothers that do not look out for the better interest for the child often say well they need their mother. Well children need both parents in their lives but more than often on parent is actually going to destroy a child because they want the child with them just because that is what they want. That parent does not want a better standard of living, a home of morals, a home of rules and respect going up and down the ladder, a place where education is important, a place where their child chooses right over wrong. If you are the parent father or mother that believes that those few things come first over what you want then you should fight for your child. That is the best interest for your child.

        • Rachel

          Yes, i believe a child needs both parents, but its not always that simple. In some cases as youve spoken on, about all the things the parents should want and teach their child, there are those rare times when having both parents around isnt healthy for the child. Ex.The parent wouldnt teach their child those things but quite the opposite and the only reason they want that child in there life is to hurt the mother and because they fear being all by themselves. Im seeing and dealing with this situation as we speak. We all hope that if we have kids well be able to raise them in a two parent home not two parents and two diff homes. But sometimes it dont work out and the child or children are put in this situation and dont have a say in it or what happens to them. Its tough and its sad, but it happens more times than not. We as people, parents, grandparents and the like, our main and only concern should be the children. Put your differences and your hate of each other aside for your kids sake. They are the ones who suffer the most, and dont deserve to be put in the middle of two adults they love and look up to, hate and bashing party of each other. Its time to grow up folks and deal with each other nomatter what, who, or why its happening, Quit blameing, pointing fingers, quit trying to get back at each other, quit hateing one another. After all what does this show or teach our children. If we say we want the best for our children how could we put them through these kinds of custoidial battles. Its time to stop this madness, forget the past, and learn to live, love, and forgive. Do it for the children for they deserve better, we all do.

        • Larhonda Whitt


        • Rural Mom AR

          Re 1.)

          Even when he is violent, abuses drugs or alcohol, doesn’t work, engages in illegal activity, etc?

          “Best interest of the child” should always be paramount, but that varies on a case by case basis. This is why courts will often have a general guideline about how to determine custody cases, but not mandatory statutes.

      • childishadults

        Because the father isn’t working to pay the support that probably isn’t being used by the child but used for mom, who is oh-so busy, likely getting her nails done with that child support money? Until you know BOTH sides of the truth, single mom, don’t go bashing dad. If your job is so hard, then give it to the dad as someone else said. Ideally, they could both meet half way, but MY experience and my OBSERVED experience is that the custodial parent, whether mother or father, tends to abuse the non-custodial parent because you know you can get away with it by having that upper hand. Meanwhile the child suffers. In hundreds of cases I surveyed…most of the time the child ends up hating the custodial parent and then has deep psychological issues to deal with. Bono was right…the graffiti that use to be not the walls of bathroom stalls are now on the blogs across the internet as people put this crap out there like your message, single mom. Live without your child as the dad has and see what it is like. Steph, stay out of it, let them resolve it. Your the other woman in the picture. Should she be following the court order? Yes, but chance are she won’t. She he either has to take her to court and spend more money uselessly to get her to do what she is suppose to do or suck it up and drive and ultimately the kid is going to grow up and see how dad went out of his way to get there when Mom blew off what she was suppose to do. The kid will hate mom and bring that unforgiveness into future relationships and we’ll have another broken relationship and more hurt kids….ALL BECAUSE YOU LOSERS ARE SELFISH PEICES OF CRAP HURTING YOUR OWN CHILDREN BECAUSE YOU COULD NEVER GROW UP AND BE ADULTS YOURSELVES AND WORK THINGS OUT WITH YOUR SPOUSES. Then you will come to the internet and play the blame game as if you are entitled to something and the other parent is doing what they shouldn’t. You should all lose custody. GROW UP PEOPLE!

      • JDSmith

        You are just another SCUM-BAG, lazy, ignorant, money-grubbing rat with Doritos crumbs stuck in your cleavage, you piece of garbage. YOU DO NOT FORCE ONE PARENT TO TAKE THE CHILDREN FROM THE OTHER! YOU MORON! MAYBE IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP YOUR FOURTH POINT OF CONTACT YOU MIGHT SEE THAT. I’ll be this Father pays for WELL over half of this woman’s expenses, he pays for 1.5 households, yet she only needs to pay for one, the LEAST SHE CAN DO IS DO WHAT’S RIGHT FOR THE CHILDREN AND NOT FORCE THE FATHER TO TAKE THE CHILDREN FROM THE MOTHER. It’s a tactic these piece of garbage, dorrito moms use to further alienate and control the father of the children. If you’re so “NOT lazy,” why don’t you get a job and let the father have the child half the time and not have to support you and your lazy, money-grubbing, disgusting, piece of garbage, well-fare, loser, skank of an excuse for a mom and get a job. You have two arms and legs? If you can’t support your children, to the point you’ll go on welfare, then maybe you shouldn’t have custody you piece of trash.

      • MothersCantFather

        Single mom… So because the only known fact is that there is joint custody however 1 day for visiting the father; you have excessive and arrogant self-confidence in that this Mom cares for his child 24 hours a day every day but 1, and provides transportation, cooks meals, attends to all the kids needs, etc, during this time? That is the first problem. Shame on 31 up-votes.. Shame.. And so then the father must be lazy, and ridiculous to have an issue with the woman violating a court order to drive the boy to drop off to his father? Have you entertained the notion that MAYBE, just MAYBE, if the mother brings the boy to his father, she is carrying a BIG message of support and encouragement in that visit being necessary and important to the boys life? And the father matters and has irreplaceable value? It seems that the question being asked by this mans wife, is one that is respectful to the LAW. And it seems that the woman refusing to take the boy as ordered by a Judge, doesn’t respect the authority of a Judge, therefore “assuming” that she has little concern or respect for the authority of a Father?

        AND GO GET THE KID. What an inconvenience – HE ACTUALLY HAS TO MAKE AN EFFORT AND DRIVE TO SEE HIS KID? ridiculous.”

        Sorry Single Mom.. Yea, he does have to actually make an effort to drive to pick up his kid.. Perhaps the visit time is specific and SHE may be wasting a good portion of their visit time traveling in a car with dad rather than the visitation beginning after the mother dropped off the boy.. There are so many ways that this “ridiculous” “inconvenience” can discourage quantity and quality of time.. Setting a stage for alienation and stress prior to the visitation…

        Even though scripture shows the father as the protector, the leader, and protector of his stay.. Sometimes so lonely, without being seen much, and without perhaps a presence he ultimately desires to share.. To work for, and not be with the purpose he realized is what he was made for…

        The notion of a woman being a mans possession is so immoral, degrading, and sexist even if he takes care of her in every which way financially to emotionally like ” a real man” should. Yet a child being a mother’s possession or property because she primarily takes care of him/her in their daily needs and does so alone while the father works, is not only the acceptable norm, but something that needs to be commended and applauded, with everyone saying, “there goes one strong woman!” ?

        Even though it is a complete delusion to think that even a supermom can father a boy a replace an even so-so dad…

      • Renee West

        I’m sure he pays child support for the child as well as she gets the non monetary benefit of having tremendous amount of time with their child. A hell of a lot more than him. Grow up.

    • Hvavoom

      If the court order states that the mother is to drop the child off and
      she doesn’t then THAT is what’s ridiculous. She is not above the court
      order just because she has the child more than the father. It’s women
      like “single mom” that make family court a freaking JOKE. If it’s in the court
      order she needs to abide by it.
      Does the court order state
      that the ex wife is to drop the child off and then your husband is
      responsible for dropping him off at the end of the visitation? This is
      why it’s so important to state everything clearly from the beginning.
      Because sooner or later you have to deal with issues like “single mom”
      who think that they are above the law. I would just document every time
      she violates the court order and keep track of it. Document document document. I can’t stress that enough.

      • Thomas Gearjammer Marlowe

        Contempt of court charges can be a WONDERFUL thing for the non placement parent, against the one who has physical placement. Here’s why. If the the placement parent is in JAIL for contempt of court, then the child AUTOMATICALLY reverts to the non placement parent. Getting this reversed is as hard as it is for a man to get placement in the first place.

    • ron g

      I know i am a little late but your husband should go to the clerks office and file an emergency motion for child pick-up, each time she violates, the courts have showing in many cases that if she continues to disobey a court order he then can ask for sole custody or she be held in contempt and pay fines, court cost and more. It will be an uphill battle but he has to show that she is and has violated the order. Write everything down, and if you wish you may trying to call the non-emergency number for the police to see if they will right a report, some will some will not, but that adds to your case when you go before a judge. remember in florida its the 12.941(d) form, I had to use it and once she had to go to jail for a night she decided against playing with the order. I hope it all works out.

    • EvaDiva Houston

      It’s his responsibility to make the effort to go see his kid, make the trip, pay for the gas and stop whining to his new wife about what he probably doesn’t want anyway, responsibility.

      • collegebasketballfan

        Wow…you DO know how to type without ALL CAPS. lol

  • Separated and broken hearted

    In nc. Separated for 4 months, the father has has nothing to do with my daughter for the past 4 years and now that we are separated he is now wanting to spend time with her. I am glad that he is showing interest. But I feel he is only doing this because of child support. In emails he has specifically asked for more overnights he is picking her up from daycare without letting me know. Status quo is every other weekend and one day a week. But the weekends he has her he has kept her in Sunday night even though I have asked to bring her home. He has all the vehicles and will not let me have one, hasn’t helped with any support, will not communicate with me about our daughter or any other matter. I gave him separation and custody papers first but he ignored them and went and filed suit for holiday visitation and temp legal custody. He said I commuted adultry, is on drugs and that I withdrew my affection from him. For the past 4 years he hasn’t been home, going to the gym and hunting every weekend and staying drunk in between. He won’t let me in the house to get anything. He changed the locks and didn’t tell me, so I busted window out and did get some of my daughters clothes and toys. I took no marital property. I am the one who has trine care of her for the past 4 years. What are my chances of getting custody or would it be shared custody? What about the drug and unfit allegations?

    • stepmom888

      Go in to court and ask to take a drug test immed….file a temp restraining order on him for safety due to his drunkenness…does he have any DUI’s….document in a notebook every time he keeps her with out your consent…so what if you withdrew affection from him…he abandoned you and child every weekend and then abandoned you both to the effect of being inebriated with alcohol…if there is drugs either you or him or you and him have him drug tested as well call your local legal aid office…

      If you are in a safe place living with people with clean backgrounds etc…I would say go for it and you should get help..

      He also sounds controlling and at least emotionally and verbally abusive contact your local domestic violence hotline and they can assist you with legal help and/or access to a lawyer

      I should know my hubby’s ex here in wa is making all kinds of false restraining orders crying on demand in court getting help for false domestic violence when we have not been near her or her house since July 2102…. we are selling our new honda odysessy we worked so hard to get for a family of 7 to protect one abused child…courts side with bio mom no matter how much actual evidence a lawyer produces for dad…the damsel in distress even false distress usually wins

      best of luck and don’t be to heartbroken…did you really want someone who always ignored you an did not see the true treasure before him?

      I was single for 10 years after my first marriage and am now remarried and have a true prince among toads

      His ex on the other hand is very difficult to get along with but I pray for her and speak kindly of her to her kids and in front of her kids cause she still is mama

  • kristina

    my husbands ex wife is refusing to pick our son up from a location provided because we only gave her a three day notice that we have moved. She doesn’t agree with the pick up location even though it is pretty much the same as the place we used to live. we decided to meet her here 20 min away from our house to avoid any hostility and yet she says we need to meet her half way to her house! My husband has primary custody yet she is about to take us to court because she wants it. Any advice?

  • Sadmommy08

    I am a re-married mother, and I have a 5 year old from my first marriage that wants to see her dad but he does not bother calling her or exercise his visitation rights. I have offered to bring her to see him and I live an hour and a half away. I take her to see his mom and I sent him messages telling him that if he wants to see her then he can call or e-mail me and let me know! I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to keep lying and making excuses for him because he refuses to see her. I have tried contacting him but I get no answers! I have tried to get in touch with him the past couple of days so we can get together and modify the visitation order as my daughter has just started school this year and I wanted to see if he would like to get her every other weekend, but something is telling me that it would be an inconvience to him and his new family. It hurts me to see my daughter hurt! He didn’t even show up for her birthday party, instead he went to his girlfriends daughters(not even his child) birthday party that was just a couple days after our daughters birthday…Do I take him to court for not exercising visitation or do I keep lying to my little girl about why her dad doesn’t see her and keep trying to get him to see her?

  • 041546

    i have 1 for you…my ex took my kids from me 2 years ago to another state. we are still legally married and theres no custody case i know of, i am ordered to pay child support. I have asked her many times to provide and address and a phone number so i can still be in my kids lives, but she ignores my requests and her boyfriend would call/email threats for me to stop with me asking. my oldest kids hates me for some reason and my ex’s bf tells me to leave “his family” alone. Those are my kids, im the father, why isnt there any laws to help me. i am unemployed at the moment so i cant pay child support, but thats still no excuse for her not to let me talk to my kids. what do i do????????????????help

    • Deanne

      go file for a divorce and a parenting plan

    • Guest

      I’m so sorry that you are going through this and even more so that your kids are. I agree with the other poster that you need to file for a divorce and then get the parenting plan in place. I would also read up as much as you can about PAS (parental alienation syndrome) which your kids are being exposed to. But you really cant afford to wait any longer. You need to start taking steps to assert your parental rights now, because the longer you wait the harder it’s going to be. Good luck – I hope it all works out for you and your kids.

    • moses

      Move to where your kids are i am the father of two kids full custoy wasnt easy court costs money. As far as her not letting you see your children thats called parental kidnapping she could face charges and worst yet jail time. Check the laws out you go dad fight for you kids their worth every penny. god bless you.

  • Kayla

    My grandparents basically brainwashed me into having joint custody with them over my two kids because ‘their father could come get them at any time.’ After it was over and done with I learned that what they were telling me was lies. I also suspect that my son is being messed with in their home but I don’t have ‘proof.’ I want the joint custody gone but I don’t know where to start or what to do.

  • Oliver

    I worked with the “new wife” and she told me stories about the children and what a terrible mother the “ex-wife” was. Is there anything I can do to let the “ex-wife” know that this woman was not only lashing out but telling stories i.e.; the children would wet their beds and wipe their excrement on the walls when they stayed with Dad and the new wife. I think if this is true she should keep her mouth shut and not to continue the rumor? story? to herself and not talk about it in the office. She keeps telling anyone who will listen to her that the mother told the children they couldn’t hug her “the new wife”. We all know that there is two sides to every story and then there is the truth. As the step Mom continues to spread this gossip shouldn’t someone stand up and let the attorney, judge, Mother the truth?

  • sissie

    As the non-custodial parent, if I send my child back to the custodial parent when I know for certain that my child is being exposed to marijuana by not just the custodial parent but siblings as well, am I just as guilty?

  • Deanne

    What forms do I need to fill out to go to child’s surgery when I am not the legal guardian right now

  • My son is 18. I share joint custody (week on week off with my exhusband). We live in Washington State. My son is a senior in high school. He failed two classes. Got kicked out of one class. Disappeared after school, saying he was making up a test, however wasn’t. My son had been staying up unil 3 in the morning texting, on facebook, on twitter, skype, etc. So, I took his phone, computer, and video games away as I saw them as a main problem in him succeeding. He got mad, left said he was 18, and was going to his dads. At first his dad said to give it a day or two for him to calm down. I agreed. Then he was to return him to me… send him home. He is refusing to. My court decree (Order of Child Support) says that: Support shall be paid until the child reaches the age of 18 or as long as the child remains enrolled in highschool whichever occurs last. My question is: Can my exhusband simply keep my 18 year old? Shouldn’t he send him back? Isn’t this custodial interference? The reason that my 18 year old wants to be at dads is that at dad’s he literally has no rules. No consequences.

    • moses

      forget about the childsupport that doesnt mean everything i am a dad with full custody of both of my children. The mother doesnt pay anything. I have raised them since they were young and never needed any support from them. Story short forgetabout it. Do you want your kids or the money. And the father shame on him for playing with your kids emotions. I feel for you trust in god things will work out.

  • Taryn Nicole

    someone is active…. I have a not so simple situation… I had my son when I
    was 15. But as if my age wasn’t enough of a curve ball, I was also never raised
    properly. My mom was a drug addict and my sister and I were forced to fend for
    ourselves from a very young age. Until 2 years ago when our local Cps took an
    interest in my ability to parent or lack there of… I would have honestly
    reported to the world that I was a stand up parent, better than most. But I was
    very wrong. Long story short now that I’ve got some extensive therapy and
    classes under my belt, I’m able to be the loving caring mother I have always
    meant to be. And I’m sober now so that’s a huge plus!!!!! Anyways, my mom abandoned
    me at age 13, I formed a relationship with a man that was 5 years older, and I
    had my son at age 15. But even with the best of intentions at heart I was very
    superficially raising my son. Honestly, until three years ago while in rehab
    when I was instructed to write my life story down on paper and read it aloud (That
    is not something that normally happens) Well I figured it’s my story my
    memories, nothing surprising there, I was wrong. Throughout my life when asked
    what kind of childhood I’d had I had always securely said, it was a normal
    childhood not bad not great……but while reading my story aloud I was choking
    up… What was considered normal as a child with few examples was in fact not
    at all the norm, in fact my childhood was tragic, than they made us close our
    eyes and picture ourselves as children and then we had to hug our child selves
    and tell ourselves that we are worth love and protection. Anyways it
    changed my entire life and everything about how I parent.

    From ages 14-17 I was not allowed to have friends, “because
    when I was your age friends brought me down” Said my son’s dad. I wasn’t
    allowed a relationship with my mother or sister… but being the fire cracker I
    was I would sneak out and hide things and stay out all night long, it quickly
    became a father child relationship. And with nowhere to go and without knowing
    the first thing about taking care of me, it wasn’t hard for my son’s dad to
    control me. Age 18 we followed his parents to Florida in hopes it would get us
    away from meth. For the 1st time since I was 15 I was sober and functioning!
    When ‘David’ that my sons father saw how independent I was becoming with my
    sobriety and employment he ordered me to quit my job or move out, So I actually
    moved out and in with my next door neighbor … This being the 1st time I’d
    struck out on my own as well, David was furious. He insisted we move back to
    Az. even more so when he found out that we had been living in Fl. long enough
    that we were residents and he would need my permission in order to take our son
    back to AZ. One weekend David took our son to Orlando for the weekend, on
    Sunday he called and told me he had found a job and was working there, but wouldn’t
    tell me where I could pick up my son from. I went to his parent’s house and
    looked thru the windows and he had packed everything up and disappeared with my
    son. I called and filed a report, it was taken very seriously. Than my sister
    spotted David and my son back in Az. he was arrested and charged with custodial
    interference, the day I got to AZ to be near my son I was served with emergency
    custody papers. In court I was all alone barely 18 no reserves to my name, not
    even eligible for help from our local legal aid because David had already asked
    there help and it would of been conflict of interest. Even though David’s
    parents bought him a high priced lawyer. That day I listened as every member of
    David’s family gave testimonies to the judge insisting I was a danger. Those
    people were the only family I had, when I heard this I had no fight in me,
    Needless to say he bullied me into signing away physical custody because he
    promise to remain in the same town, son’s not to separate my son and I till I
    could afford to move back to az. He also got me to drop all charges against
    him, saying he wasn’t going back to Florida at all if he’s gonna get arrested.
    David stayed in Florida for maybe 2 hours at the most before he and my son were
    gone. That was 2005, 6 months later I was able to move back to be with my son
    and within 2 months I had Caleb living with me 6 days a week. The only
    stipulation was that every time I did something that David didn’t agree with he’d
    snatch our son up no warning, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had
    Caleb mon-fri, 06 to 09. In 2011 we uncovered that My 9 y.o son had been molesting
    my 2 y.o son. Cps became involved and informed me that they suspect My sons
    father has been molesting him probably his entire life. We discussed it with my
    9 y.o and he admitted to touching his little brother, we did rape kits on both boys;
    my 9 y.o had scaring in the rectum. When asked who was touching him, and
    explaining further that by telling someone it would only mean that he wanted it
    to stop……. He shouted, “But I don’t want to never see my dad again!”

    An investigation was opened, and I did
    the worst thing I could have ever done… I started doing bath salt; it was more
    than just the abuse of my child… The fact that the person that was abusing him
    was the one person I couldn’t stop. And here he was again victimizing me and
    now my son as well! I began searching for ways to cope; My mind began profiling
    every man I had contact with. If it was David I couldn’t stop him so my mind
    found any hint that it was anybody else. It only took a month or so of being on
    that poison before I’d completely compromised the case, traumatized both my
    children, by interrogating them trying to find the truth. It got so bad that my
    mind was already made up and if my son didn’t answer the way I needed him to he
    was lying. I finally came clean about my turning to drugs, they removed my 2
    year old son and put him in a foster home, and with no evidence cps was forced
    to release my 9 y.o to his father’s parents… where he immediately recanted his
    statement I went an entire 2 years with no contact with my son, I spent that 2
    years in rehabilitation centers and therapy. I finally found my son back in
    06-2013 it took everything in me to forgive the possibility of David molesting Caleb,
    before I got to speak to my son I first had to convince David that I was just
    high and not only did I ever believe he was molesting our son, but I don’t
    believe he was ever molested by anyone……….. So now my son isn’t getting any
    therapy either because of whatever reason. Ok I am ready to take this to court
    I have joint custody with parenting time. But David won’t let me take Caleb
    from his home unless it’s just to the store. I have legally no less than the Yavapai
    child access guidelines which is every other weekend and one night a week. My
    son is scared to tell his dad that he wants to see more of me, much less that
    he wants to come back and live with me. So there you go I’ve got all the bad
    paper work but I’m not the bad guy…. I’ve won over every probation officer I’ve
    had, every cps worker, I have two random drug tests a week that have been documented
    for the past 3 years. I need prayer that the truth won’t be so hidden in the judge’s

  • John

    My daughter suffered 23 years of severe mental abuse
    She is filing for divorce in Tacoma
    The father refuses to allow the daughters (13 and 16) to see their mother. He also has encouraged the girls to say contemptuous things against their mother. Is that a crime?

  • NCP Rights matter

    May I object to complaint for enforcement of health care expense payment if CP has not allowed me to be part of the decision making process nor the care plan? I am not informed of appt’s and I have to file a motion for contempt of court order and a subpoena for the records because the CP nor the doctor will let me have his records or even talk to me about his treatment which is Adderall xr at a large dose for his age? Simply put, if I’m not part of the treatment plan or agree with the actions that the CP is taking can I object? Or will the FOC just enforce payment anyways?

  • Sonja Hacker

    My exhusband and I share 50/50 physical and legal custody. Our agreement says that there is no custodial parent but he gets the custodial parent holidays. Our son has his first springbreak this weekend but we’re planning on continuing things as usual with our parenting time because he works all week anyway. I’m picking our son up on Friday after I get out of work. He hates that I’m dating someone and has been trying to cheat me out of parenting time. He refuses to give me first right of refusal every morning during his weeks and refuses to let me get our son and get him ready for and take him to school. Instead, he takes him to his moms despite my attempts to tell him that I’m supposed to be given the option first. He claims that he believes I’m not responsible enough because for all he knows I stay up late and go on dates instead of sleep because I forgot to give our sons teacher $4 one day when I picked our son up from school. The $4 wasn’t even due yet and I was asked by my ex to do it because he forgot to do it earlier that same day. He won’t let me pick up our son on my scheduled nights if I work passed 8pm and can’t be there to get him before 8:30 (I work for AT&T and work retail hours)……He barraids me for letting our son play with my boyfriends daughter who is also 5. He tells me I’m not allowed to have him around anyone he says he doesn’t want him around but refuses to meet my boyfriend despite how much I’ve begged because my boyfriend is a great guy and father of 3, two of which he has full custody of. As of now, my ex is fine with me having our son this weekend like I normally would but if he learns that I want to take our son to a waterpark resort for the weekend and that it’s being funded by the man I’ve been seeing and that he and his children are coming to, I’m afraid he will tell me I can’t go and refuse TK give me our son. My lawyer advised that I not tell him until after I’ve picked him up but I’m worried he will insist I bring him back and claim that he has the right since it’s his turn for springbreak

  • Mary Smith

    Unimaginable and unbelievable. I am Mary Smith from the United States
    and i have a good news to share to the entire world. Do you need your
    ex husband or lover urgently? I wanna tell you that you need not to
    worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced or
    similar to such situation because there is always a hope and a solution
    to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Great Owologbo who
    can really solve your problem. Getting my lover back is what i can’t
    imagine but when I was losing Jackson, I needed help and somewhere to
    turn badly but my Aunty told me about this spell caster who also helped
    her on the internet. I thought it won’t work but i just tried to give
    this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone
    rang. Jackson was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not
    only come back, the spell caster opened him up to know how much I loved
    and needed him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up
    his eyes to know how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone
    who is in my old situation to try him because he will help you and make
    things be the way it ought to be. If you have such problem or similar
    to this, please contact him on his email thank you Great Owologbo and may your gods reward you for your good deeds..

  • I have a friend who has been caring for a set of twins since they were 6 months of age and their now 14 years old. Their biological Mother was on drugs and in and out of jail never caring for or contacting the children. 3 days ago she showed up at the home of the twins and took them to live with her stating they are mine and I want them back. Is there anything legally that my friend can do to get the girls back into her care being that their Mother was NEVER there?

  • Kashment

    What can I do if I was never served papers notifying me of custody? My ex submitted court documents from his uncle who is an attorney and judge granted him full legal and sole custody and I have supervised visitation. All this from default because failure to respond. I could not seeing how I was not aware of situation, we were living together at time and he phase this planned, as soon as he had custody, he left with my infant, she was 3 months at time. He has failed to allow me to see her.

  • HelpinUSA

    If your child is no longer a USA Citizen but there was a custody in place, is that custody in place now voided?

  • Emanuel

    My wife and I still married but in a weekend that I was on a business trip, she left home and from the emails and texts that we exchange she is telling me that she is not going to let me see my son until she want to. What should I do? I need to see my son and the brothes and sisters from a previous marrieges that live with me cant see them too

  • Jessica Mark

    My sons father signed his birth certificate and now the father is in jail.Now that summer break is coming I had to renew my sons passport and now the court is saying that the father needs to sign to allow my son to go but he is in a different state in prison so how is that possible .Cant I just change the name on the birth certificate?

  • tamara

    My daughter is 14 and she lives with her grandparents. She feels unsafe there and doesnt want to live there anymore. We live in California. What can we do? She wants to return home to me and her dad . Does she have to go to court and say that or can she tell the police when they come and talk to her

  • y2k

    Im a caregiver of a soon to be 2 year, if the parents dont do what they have to do, I can adopt him. But my question is, I just found out that the father is a register sex offender! Can I win the case?

  • Jan Davis

    My daughter has two children and at this time resides with the legal Father, and he is listed on the birth certificate. She has been in an off and on again relationship with another man that lives in WV. She and the children and the Dad live in NC with myself (her Mom) and my husband (her Dad). She continues to talk to this man that lives in WV, there is no custody agreement. She constantly makes threats to move away to WV to this man and says she does not even plan to inform the biological Father prior to leaving. Her plan is to pack up with the kids and just leave one day when he is at work and not tell him anything. Is there any legal way to stop her from removing the children and taking them out of state? Can the Father file for any type of emergency order stating she cannot take his children out of state without his knowledge? She has shared her plans with me, however, she has not told him anything of her plans. I think now if she does do this, she will also do so without telling me, as she knows I feel it is wrong and cruel to remove the kids without the Dad’s knowledge, so I believe if she does do this, she will just go without telling anyone. What legal rights do we have, I am sure I as the grandma do not have any legal rights to stop her from doing this but does the Dad have any legal rights? If so, I plan to share with him what she has stated she might do so he can pursue any legal rights he has if any.

  • Jan Davis

    As I have no idea when and if she might actually do this, if anyone can help answer this question, I need help as soon as possible

  • smiley

    do anyone who know to write a letter to the judge to ask for joint custody

  • ivan

    i am waiting for the paternity results for my child. Theres an open CPS case where the mother lost custody also the grandma now the sister has the custody of my child. after my result come in that i am the father how can i go about this situation with CPS involved and would i be able to get custody of my child??

  • Curious

    Me and my ex husband signed paperwork with a paralegal to settle our divorce on our own. We have 2 children and we filled out the timeshare as to holidays and summer visitations. Since we live in 2 different states, custody and visitation was not in our divorce decree because the state I’m in has jurisdiction over the children and our divorce was filed in the state he lives in. The kids are normally with him during the summer, but because of unforeseen circumstances, they can’t go with him this summer. He wants to take me to court because of this summer. Are they required to go with him this summer even though it’s not stated in our divorce decree.

    • TBH

      Let him file the complaint…..the judge wont change hands of custody if the children are stable…but try to work it out with him…and be sure enough about your reasons because you will have to make them sound good to the judge too

  • desertrat

    My bf and his xgf have a child together and there is no custody agreement. When the xgf left the relationship 6 yrs ago, the child stayed with my bf and has remained in his care. We are planning on moving to another state, would he be charged with kidnapping if we moved?

    • TBH

      No…but be fair….don’t leave and cut her off to be ugly….it will reflect if she ever does bring him in front of a judge one day in the future…she could win custody without an attorney easy after that…she would not have to pay a dime to win….but he would need to pay a good attorney….and have the extra money to pay her court costs for her and child support for their child… of now with no court order she wouldn’t owe him a dime if she got custody…just save the trouble and file an agreement with the court before you leave….custody could go from civil to criminal by making the wrong decision…NEED HELP filing court forms and petitions in your state?.. email me I work in Family Law Documents I can help with easy filing and court costs in your state…I know the things attorney’s don’t want you to know……….

  • sammie

    my sons dad has not seen him in two years and my three year old son has autism he knows another man as daddy who has supported him since he was 1. my sons dad has such mean things about my son like calling him fat ugly a retard and bastard and much more. he was physically and mentally abusive with me. how could I get it so he could not longer be able to come see him since it has been so long anyways? is there and thing I could do I am a single 22year old and I have no clue were to start all I know is the peace dose not deserve my son.

    • TBH

      If you do not have police reports of any abuse..the judge wont listen…it is not fair to your ex for the judge to believe hearsay…any witnesses will be considered, but without hospital or police reports you have a very weak case. The court will not listen to the child to make a decision, so if you don’t have anything outside of the two things I’ve mentioned on your ex ur in trouble. Start by keeping a journal, and report everything that happens after the other parent becomes the absent parent, it will save your ass in court later.

  • Carol

    My husband’s ex wife goes out with her current husband to bars and leaves the 13 year old daughter home alone. People have witness them at certain bars and they are usually there around 11-11:30 pm and stay a couple of hours. So that means my husband’s daughter is home alone late at night. They have shared custody. Can my husband get full custody from his neglectful and bar-hopping ex-wife that drinks quite a bit and doesnt mind leaving a 13 year old home alone after 11 pm?

    • moses

      That is an unfit parent and should not be near your children. The next time that happens you may want to talk to a private investigator who could help vidio tape all the stuff you been hearing to help you in court. Your kids are worth every penny.

  • lizzyC05

    My child’s father and I have a standard custody agreement in place and June is his month to have her for Summer. I found out after calling and texting many times that his mother took her on a cruise out of the country without my consent and without her father. I had no idea that she went on this cruise. Is this legal? My daughter is only 5 years old.

  • Dy’Lan Browder


    • ron gantt

      you should go to the clerks office and file an emergency motion for child pick-up, each time she violates, the courts have showing in many cases that if she continues to disobey a court order he then can ask for sole custody or she be held in contempt and pay fines, court cost and more. It will be an uphill battle but he has to show that she is and has violated the order. Write everything down, and if you wish you may trying to call the non-emergency number for the police to see if they will right a report, some will some will not, but that adds to your case when you go before a judge. remember in florida its the 12.941(d) form, I had to use it and once she had to go to jail for a night she decided against playing with the order. I hope it all works out. but check your family law division at the court house and ask or google what form you need to enforce an order.

  • Dy’Lan Browder


  • lele

    ncp in georgia files for legitimation after I file for Modification of child support my child is 12 now, he has been arrested in the past for failure to pay, has a criminal background including simple battery toward me. He has seen my child maybe 20 times throughout her life, will a judge actually grant legitimation he does have 2 other kids. But in the past she has been mentally and physically abused by him and his family/girfriend.

  • c’swife

    My husband is the NCP, his mother is trying to get custody of his daughter. Can he legally sign papers to allow his mother to have his daughter without the permission of the custodial parent (the daughters mother)? He has never been in his daughters life unless his mother had her or I invited her over. I’m just trying to make sure this is a legal thing to do.

    • TBH

      lol…NO…not without both parents consent could the grandmother have any rights to the child. Grandparents have absolutely no power in a custody matter unless the natural parents are deceased…or incompetent…even if the parents are in jail they have to have some say in the situation when it comes to adoption unless it is ordered by a judge ex parte. Say for example if your husband died…..the grandmother would not even have the right to visitation. The mother would get sole custody…and a SS check…she would not have to visit with his family either unless the judge made her do it. As long as the mother is around I would answer NO…. the grandmother would have to do it behind her back in some way. But mothers don’t usually stray very far from their young…..

  • Mrs.Amoako

    My daughter’s father has been trying to do anything he can to take her from me since the day we broke up. After he took my daughter out of state without my permission for an entire week. (which was not his scheduled time.) I decided to make his visitations more supervised so this wouldn’t happen again. He showed up at the designated visitation spot and sat in his car for 15 minutes on the phone and when I tried to call him and signal him to get out of the car and spend time with his daughter he did not answer so I left. 10 mins later I received a phone call from a police officer saying I was going to be charged with custodial interference. Long story short I went to court yesterday and lost! I have been charged with custodial interference which in this state tacks on a domestic violence charge! I plan to appeal can any give me some advice. Thank you.

  • James7493


  • Angelique Lavon Reisinger

    My sons father gets our son every weekend from fridays at two to mondays at two. I went and filed for court the other day to see about getting the every other weekend like the normal way, my fathers son got his mail and texted flipping out. And is always harassing me whether he has our son or I do. I don’t text back unless its directly about our son. And he seems to think that he is going to end up getting our son every other week from Sunday- Saturday.

  • daf

    I have joint physical custody of my son,she only has visitation rights which i can deny if she is not not sober or in the right mental state. I haven’t heard from his mother in 3 years. Im moving outta state for a Better job and cheaper cost of living. The mother of my child’s, mother found out im moving, now all of a sudden is opposed to the move. She’s saying i can be charged with kidnapping. The stipulations on the court order says nothing about moving out of state, i’ve already invested all my money in the move and gave up my apt. So i have to go, now i’m worried. What do i do?

    • ron g

      Daf, generally there is a UCCJEA, that prohibits the moving a without going thru the proper court channels,The UCCJEA has since been adopted by 49 U.S. States, the District of Columbia, Guam, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. it is true that she can ask the court to compel you to move back if you have not followed proper court procedures. I would read over my order and make sure. The court will allow you to relocate because you it is based on a job and other things that will not be seen as trying to keep her away from the child. The reason this is done, is they now have to decide who will pay for travel and other things to ensure there is still adequate time-sharing, and generally it is the parent who wants to move. Good luck to you

  • cool

    Can a city police officer take my child to give to the other parent?

    • TBH

      Yes if there are court orders. They can take you to jail too if you interfere with court orders…..

  • Fred

    There is no custody order ever filed and I live in one state now and the mother another state. She is moving to a closer state and our 15 year old wants to live with me. She will be 16 in nov. can she just come live with me?

  • Johnathon Wainwright

    me and my ex are separated rhere are no papers filed on custody. she lives with her dad she sleeps on a couch my daughter has no room of her own or a bed to sleep in the mother has no transportation or income. I have a home a crib for the child I work and I have transportation. would I get in trouble if I were to decide to keep my child from the mother till we make a court date?

    • ron g

      John, you should check your state laws, here in florida it is a mother who is the custodial parent when no orders have been issued. however if you do get the child i would file a motion ASAP and state the child resides with you at the time of filing and as for custody, state the living condition, and your reasons. what you do not want is a case that she is saying you have kidnapped the child, so please check your state laws.

    • TBH

      YES YOU WOULD….In the judge’s eyes it would be mean to both the mother and the child to do that. You might help her win custody by doing that. Try to remain the bigger parent so that your child doesn’t grow up and resent the childish behavior that parents exhibit sometimes….Do what is best….the court will also be watching what messes parents drag into court and how childish their behavior is….if she is not breaking any court orders…and if she is trying to be present in the childs life let her……..the child probably loves to be around her mother….don’t you think? Just because parents don’t like each other doesn’t mean the child stops liking them…STOP IT

  • mother0303

    I have put a motion for my ex to have supervised visits but he has visitation tomorrow and the court hasn’t given me a court date .. what do I do. im afraid he will run off with my daughter because there has been rumors

  • harry

    I have custody of my daughter but the judge gave her 3 weeks visitation so my daughter can go visit with her.the problem is that she gave the judge and I the wrong address and phone number where she is living, can I take her to civil court.

  • denise

    The father of my son.has had tempory custody of him.for about eight months now..the reason he has custody is becauae he called dcf on me ..i was ordered to complete some task before i could regain.custody of my son..right before i finish all.of my task he up and moved to.idaho ..he was living in flordia prior to it legal for him to up and move without getting the courts approval.because it seems like no one seems to care that he lefted..when my son was three i moved to georgia but had to get permisson from the court before i moved..just wondering if what he did was legal.

    • TBH

      who has custody?

  • My sons mother placed him into a charter school without talking to me about it first. The school is almost a hour away from my house and he has been late a few times because of traffic. (30 mins at this most) Does this empower her to change our joint custody and place me on child support?

  • Kenneth Henley

    Could I be arrested if I keep my children longer than the divorce decree says if my ex wife and I had a verbal agreement for longer time but now she doesn’t want to abide by it and I made plans.

  • angel

    me and my ex have joint custody with me having physical custody, he gets both boys for the summer when it was time to return the children he only returned one, and kept the other and unenrolled him in school where I live and enrolled him in school where he lives over an hour away, I don’t have money to go to court for contempt charges, as he did the same thing last summer and cost me 5000 in lawyer fees and I am currently still paying on, is it legal for him to pull him from school and put him in another?

    • TBH

      I can help prepare paperwork to file to defend yourself in court no lawyer…I am experienced in family law documents, and filing proceedures…i am also able to help file documents with the court to ask for financial relief….very good case for contempt to request relief… you have a court order in place already?….email me please…..

  • mike

    how do I get my kids back to arizona mother has jamed out to cali and she has been served but wont return the children. what can i ask the judge to at our return hearing

    • TBH

      do you have a lawyer? who has custody?

  • Teresa macmillan

    My 17 is refusing to go back to her dads in california. Me have joint physical and legal with primary home at dads. I live in Idaho and she is her for the summer. She told me that she would run away or kill herself if I make her go back. She was to get on the plane sat evening but when I return home from work to get her and take her she was gone. She came home the next day. Her father said I will be charged with abduction because she didn’t return to him. Mis this really the case?

    • THB

      I represented myself in court a few times…I am currently in a kidnapping situation with my child…..if you need assistance fillin out forms for your state to file contempt charges let me know….if you need help preparing documents to file for custody I can help you with that as well…what state do you live in?

      • Teresa macmillan

        I live in idaho but the case is in california, ex is in california.

  • jim

    It is all a matter of personal experience and perspective. I have been custodial as well as non custodial parent. It goes the best when both parents do what that say and agree to do. It is easy and less stress on the kidos. Often it seems that there are two sides when in reality there is only one side. That side is the children. It is often difficult to do what is best when a parent is angry.

  • alyssa

    i have temporary guardianship of my nephew my brother committed suicide and his mother is a drug addict she never came back for him which is abandonment in oregon what papers do i file to get custody?

  • tinaw

    My step daughter is in an unbelievable situation. Her mother has kept her from her biological father for over 14 years. It would still be going on if the child had not found her father’s phone number in her mother’s wallet while she was passed out, we wouldn’t have gotten to see her. The abuse and violence this child has seen and been through is ridiculous. The child has been hit and there were incidents reported and nothing was done. The child has been shot at and sexually abused. And the mother had an accident with a head injury that has affected her memory to the point that she’s admitted she doesn’t remember most of the child’s formative years. So the mother’s mental state isn’t most likely capable of raising her. This child is in danger and we’ve tried every emergency avenue to prevent having to send her back to her mother’s but nobody will do anything. She wants to live with u as she is now 15.

  • jhill

    My childrens dad refuses to give my children back after spending the summer with him but there’s no custody order what should I do?

  • jon

    What if there hasnt been any custody case but the mother has the father arrested and leaves the state with the kids only later drop charges and still keeps kids from the father wont even telle if they are ok and i ce to the area she is at what should i do its been since may and idl where to start

  • father

    What rights do I have as a custodian parent to take non custodian rights do yo finding out that her boyfriend i!s a sex offender and my daughter told me that the non custodian boyfriend bathing her inappropriately… What can I do?

  • jason

    my girlfriend, non custodial parent, is having a problem with her ex, custodial parent, calling whenever he wants during our weekend. this last time she said she will have them call before they go to bed. he drove over , knowing i was not home and demanded to talk to them saying she was denying his right to call whenever. he stated the court order says ” parties children have a right to communicate at any reasonable time” so he can talk to them whenever. isn’t this saying if the kids want to call they can, not the parents

  • Mauri Foster

    We are in TN and bio father has taken his and my daughters child. This child is from a teen pregnancy and parents were never married. There is no custody order in place and the child has been with my daughter since birth. She, with our help, has been sole provider. Father has never supported the baby. Is this considered custodial interference even though a court ordered custody order is not in place under tn law?

  • Just me

    My son lives in Frenck Lick Indiana and I was wondering if I can file a motion myself in family court for visits and represent myself?

  • J747

    I have joint custody with my ex. I am the non custodial parent. My ex lives in a two bedroom trailor my two sons 6 and 5 live in one room while my daughter 10 lives in the other room. While my ex and her boyfriend sleep on the couch. I get my kids every summer and every other Christmas. This summer my oldest son and daughter told me they have walked out in the middle of the night and caught them having sex. And have been told to go back to there rooms and not to come out. My youngest boy cries when mentioning mom. And my oldest son has told me that her boyfriend spanks him and his brother and that he yells at them all the time. Also he makes him stand in a corner if he doesn’t finish all his food. Can I keep my kids for fear of safety? Can I get temporary custody? Will I be charged with kidnapping? She lives in West Virginia and I live in Texas. The joint custody agreement is in wv.

  • AJerden

    i haVe A question If my mother refuses to return minor children back to the state Where they live what grounds do I have be cause they are 16 and 17

  • Diane

    Can my ex husband assign his new wife, that I currently have a restraining order against, as a proxy for child visitation pick up?

    • step mama

      I have been in a similar situation. We live in TN, but here the proxy had to be someone that both parties agreed on. That person also had to be someone that was not going to cause problems for my husband, myself as well as the children. I do not see how that it can be legal. You can actually have her arrested if she is within so many feet of you, so I do not see that the court can appoint her. But is your judicial system is anything like ours, the judge rules on personal feelings, not the law! Good luck!

  • becjacks

    my brother and his wife split up. not legally. just went separate ways. she just had his second baby and she sent their first born to Alabama and didn’t tell my brother about it. we heard this from a 3rd party source and they refuse to give my brother his child. can they be arrested?

  • Jaz

    I won physical and sole custody, I have a TRO on the non custodial parent. Supervised visits were court ordered with a family member (whom the non-custodial parent lives with) or through a family services. I haven’t received one phone call since court about my ex seeing his children. We have to go back to court in December to see how the visits are going. Am I going to be penalized for this?

  • Brandon Benson

    How long does my x-wife have to notify me of a hospitalization of my daughter, in Texas? What is the law and where can I find it?

  • kelly

    How long do you have to wait for your X to pick up your child at scheduled time before you can leave?


    Can a mother who went to jail last Friday for dwi , who left her 3 kids at home on Thursday alone, the fathers picked up the kids but the oldest one of the 3 don’t want to go back home with the mother, the mother said that she was going to call the police on the father if he doesn’t bring the son back by Sunday. No legal papers for custody are in place. What do you think. …

  • meme

    hi my daughter cant afford one[lawyer] and as her parents we are also in a custody battle with or other daughter just trying to see our grandkids father ok with it but mother no but my daughter modified her custody and child support and he ex lawyer sent her a paper saying on this date going in front of a judge and having it changed they want the custody one first I told her she should have never did that just the child support one well she call domestic and they told her she didn’t have to be there and now fore some odd reason I got her court papers in my mail which I don’t understand he is sneaky bad person all around cheater and got caught at it almost 1year 6 months since devoice and he has a new baby 1 old that’s why they devoice what should she do we can not help her and she cant afford it kids they never listen to us

  • Guest

    My ex-husband is a cop. He patrolled in the area where we lived and divorced. I stayed in the house, but after several constant problems (picking up the kids when they were asleep and with the nanny of 5 years if I ever dared to go out, running license plates of cars parked in front) I sold the house and moved 45 minutes away. We have joint legal and my house is the primary residence. When I moved I tried to take the boys to a different school and was denied by an emergency hearing. I filed for two years and a row and the court still denies it. I cant keep driving up the old neighborhood, he talks about me to the teachers and I am seen as a nuisance. The school has misdiagnosed my son (I am a teacher. I know!). The teachers write my ex emails about my activities at school. Did I go to open house, parent-teacher conference, volunteer, etc. He goes to the after school program and takes my sons out on my days and then returns them. Then we go to court and turns things around. Says that I don’t care about my sons’ education. I am a teacher…how can I not!! I feel I am policed and constantly tries to find info on me to take to court. What do I do to stop all this madness?!?!?

  • Britt

    If the court made a visitation schedule for when the child is in school, however
    the mom just hasn’t put them in school. can you file something to get that dropped. So you have more time with your kid?

  • kara
  • Angie

    What can my husband (who has joint custody plus carries the medical coverage) do when his ex-wife purposely brought my step-son out of network to go the clinic of her choice instead of the one that is in network? The bill was sent to us. If she would have brought him in network there would have been no out of pocket cost.

  • nancy

    take her back to court and keep doing it the judges dont like when someone doesnt follow their orders she could lose custody

  • Dmarie

    Can some one please tell me if I have any rights to my nieces daughter if she recently died anf a man whos not on her birth certificate has not brought her back in a week

  • Rodolfo Regalado

    i went to court to fight for my visitation wit my babygirl documents say i get her every second and fourth weeks of the month and it clearly states that the first week of thebmonth is tje one wit the first sat of the month…Its happen twobtimes before.that i diddnt see my daughter for me not liking to argue wit my ex….Now i get her this weekend cause this past sat was the first so thats first weekend…i texed her mom and she says no i dont get her till the 14….im getting tired of her what can i do on fri if she doesnt drop off my baby….??? please help….

  • Jennifer

    My ex and I have joint legal n physical custody of our son with reasonable parenting time. He works everyday until 6:30 so on his days our son has to spend and hour an a half with this gfs mom and then 2hrs with his gf before he gets home. I am available to get him from school every day and keep him until my ex gets out of work. We did this arrangement for 3yrs until the gf came in the picture. She doesn’t communicate with me and often tries to take charge of school, medical, and extra curricular activities of my sons. Is there anything I can do to get the right to have my son after school since his father is still working?!

  • Julie61

    I keep reading about the “non-custodial” parent as the “good guy” or “good woman” – what about a man who lies about his visitation? Didn’t show up one time for 7 months – not christmas, not thanksgiving, not his daughter’s b-day – not even a card – no child support – owes past medical bills, etc. the mother does everything – there was a geographical restriction, was joint custody- finally the mother files for child support – he didn’t show up for the first hearing – second one was a trial by judge – he wanted to delay it – gets money under the table – owes IRS – has never taken a parenting class as ordered, missed and delayed, delayed – says to send medical bills certified but never picks up – or uses lame excuses – before the 7 months, sent his mom, said he won’t come because she won’t give him a hug – has talked about his ex to anyone who will listen – gets everyone to feel sorry for him and they do – they never hear the true story- after the child support was set and required, then he wants to come get them – doesn’t seem fair to the kids – they are separate issues – whines she wasn’t home but after 7 months why would she think he was coming? The law says it is a court order and you must be there whether he comes or not – does anyone know if that is right? Does the non-custodial parent have to notify the custodial parent if he or she is not going to exercise the visits? What exactly is joint custody? Does it mean everything about issues with the kids are shared? If that is so, how do you make someone do something they will not do so how can that work? Then with that, better opportunities in jobs cannot be taken due to geographical restrictions – joint custody and geographical restrictions go hand in hand it seems – great only if the other parent will do what it required – so it comes down to it seems the custodial parent is at the mercy of the non-custodial due to the order – how and can it be changed – so you see, even when the best interests of the children are set in motion, one parent can truly mess it up. It is not just the mothers – there are two sides to every situation but somehow fathers seem to get sympathy – I do know some great dads who are not out to make their exes life miserable and they deserve the same as the custodial and in that case joint custody should work and kuddos to you but in the other situation – it is hell on earth

  • Bruce Doyle

    Okay my question is in my shared parenting plan I have the right to make decisions concerning my child’s health social situation morals welfare education legal and economic environment. Now there is a man who I don’t know who is living in her house hold around my 2 year old daughter. She tells me nothing is going on between them she tells me she doesn’t live there but yeah I know for a fact he’s lived there the past 6 months I don’t know who this person is. And just because they’re screwing with my daughters mom he was sending me threatening texts. Does that constitute as my child’s welfare and I can make a decision concerning it? Do I have the right to say I do not want him in her house

  • Jami

    Parents that have children married or not, if your going have unprotected sex, but didn’t want a child, unless the circumstances were different as a result of incest or rape, after separation, divorce, or a break up, take care of your responsibility, stop making the financial part or lack there of anyone else’s problem but your own, you had a baby, it’s not like you had no idea it was going to cost a lot. If you share the children simple as this, when your child is with mom, then mom is responsible to make sure the child has what he/she needs, or if the child is with dad, then dad is responsible for making sure the child has what he/she needs. Split cost of dr or hospital visits, stop making the situation all about who pays who child support and how much, it’s not about what’s best for mom or dad, it’s abouts what’s best for the child. It takes 2 to make a baby, common sense says share the responsibility. If one can’t afford the child support owed, better get another job, it was your decision to have a baby, and brought the child into the world, children don’t ask to be brought into this world. Stop going after the other parent because your upset over something the other parent is doing, and to look as though you want what’s best for the child by using their child to get even. Kids are the ones who suffer. I had 4 kids, got divorced, and kept child support out of it, we managed just fine to be mature about it, and EQUALLY SHARED EVERYTHING. Some parents can be greedy, get over it, be a good parent and role model, and show your child you love them more than you love the child support.
    However, I know situations are not all the same, this is my opinion, and have seen this all to often. I despise parents who use their kids as a financial struggle. You had sex, so stop blaming or pointing fingers, and if you don’t like the other parents current gf, bf, husband or wife, so what, no one said you have to like them!!!!
    Don’t like them, don’t talk to them. Unless you know for a fact 100% your child is in danger.

  • Will Aspinwall

    My ex wife and I have joint legal custody and she has physical custody of our daughter (15). I am in Georgia and she has relocated to Dobbins, California. The Court order states that she will provide 3 plane flights a year for our daughter. These flights are scheduled as: Xmas, Spring Break, and Summer. This past Spring break ,she didn’t send her and said that she couldn’t afford it…and now she is starting to act as though she is going to keep her during Xmas as well. What are my options…..our divorce was finalized in Georgia. I have always been prompt on child support and there are no other issues.

  • corrina

    When I pick up my husbands daughter her mom insist on getting in my car to buckle her u . Can I say no to her getting in my car?

  • Tera

    I moved to WV with my mom back in june-August of last year and my son father moved to Weirton.. me my son father his sister and my mom we wrote a paper statin I would have primary have the custody rights and his father could come see him when he wanted to.. Its been 16months since my son father been around.. Now all of a sudden he wants to show back up in his life… We have a custody order through the state of pa.. But we both moved to WV last year… Would I be charged of kidnapping and do jail time BC my son father is threatening me with me being charged with kidnapping… But I was told after being in the state of WV for six months or longer without father having any contact with the child is consider abandonment… I need some advice please and thank you..

    • knowyourlegalrights

      it may be contempt of court but it is not kidnapping. he would have to go into court in PA to obtain contempt of court unless he has filed the custody order in WV and asked the court to domesticate it (in other words, make it an order of the WV court). I doubt that he has. also, since you are in WV more than six months, under the UCCJA (uniform child custody jurisdiction act) the only state having jurisdiction over your child would be WV. therefore, i’m not even certain he could obtain contempt of court against you in PA. does he pay child support? if not, that is a separate issue but if so and he is a deadbeat – if he owes more than $5,000, has crossed state lines and has not paid in more than a year, this is a federal offense under the child support recovery act, 18 USC 228.

  • shy

    If no one has custody of a child could that child choose where he or she wants to live?

    • knowyourlegalrights

      your question is confusing. no to a child choosing someone to live with that is not entitled to custody. yes if the individual is entitled to custody and is old enough to have a preference. in most states it depends on the custody laws of the state and age of the child. if you are talking about a teenager and your state gives weight to a custody preference, then the court would take this into consideration in a decision. however, it doesn’t make sense that “no one” has custody of the child. someone has to be legally responsible for the child, irrespective of whether they are acting responsible or not.

  • Phill

    My father in law was told he was to be supervisor over my wife when she has our child in her care and yet he let’s her take my 2 year old daughter out on dates with her boy friend.We are not divorced yet,I disapprove can he be charged with contempt of court since he was ordered to watch over things and not let things like this happen. He clearly is not watching out over the best interest of my daughter.Can I get full custody I only have visitation and I pay child support and I’m paid up to date

    • knowyourlegalrights

      first, child support and visitation are separate issues. even IF you were behind on child support you are still entitled to visitation with your child. one has nothing to do with the other. second, you say your father in law was “told” and “ordered” to watch over the kids — this doesn’t sound right because if its not in a written court order it means nothing – can’t be enforced and can’t be appealed. third, yes, you can file a motion with the court to hold your father in law in contempt if there is a written court order. I presume she was awarded temporary custody pending resolution of the divorce issues. are you seeking custody as well? I would ask the court for an immediate change of custody based upon the best interest factors of the custody laws of your state, which you should be able to find online. get an attorney or legal aid, if you can’t afford it, or contact child protective services if you believe abuse is involved.

  • Mindy

    My husband and I have custody of both kids through the Superior Court but the Navajo Courts gave Custody to my sister, We were never served paper work on it and we do not live on the Navajo Reservation my Husband is not Navajo
    my kids are half Navajo. if there is someone that can help e-mail me at

  • Am

    Just want to see other opinions on what i should do. My ex has the kids three weekends a month and orders state that no school holiday time is to be switch unless we agree on it. Well, Last year he had he first week of break with the agreement we just switch off. Word of mouth. This year he should have the second week and new years. So when he asked to have the first week I said no. So he took the kids for his weekend because he made plans on going out of town the second week. We waited for an hour for pick up and no word no show so we called and emailed them nothing the police called and went to their house still nothing. police waited at their house finally his girlfriend should up. She refused to give the kids back my ex was working she said. I might get them back tonight. Do I have a case?

    • knowyourlegalrights

      the girlfriend refused to give the kid’s back? this is custodial interference and he is in contempt of court, notwithstanding you would have a separate cause of action against the girlfriend. you can get an attorney to file a motion for contempt and request attorney fees for brining the motion. did you have the court order with you to show police? there are other issues here an attorney can help you with.

  • Roxi

    If the divorce papers say 5 days prior to Christmas or 5 days after Christmas including Christmas day can be spent with noncustodial parent. the parents live in 2 different states. Now, If the 17 1/2 year old child decides he wants to spend the entire 2 weeks with the noncustodial parent (his dad). What will happen if custodial parent decides to call the police. Also the child also was suppose to spend 2 weeks with the noncustodial parent in the summer but didn’t due to the fact the child got in trouble with the law under the supervision of the custodial parent and was on probation. The child is a boy, and his dad is his hero.

    • knowyourlegalrights

      the custodial parent can call the police all she wants but unless the court says otherwise, this is not kidnapping – it is the choice of a young man who will soon be an adult. i seriously doubt any prosecutor would waste their time bringing charges. furthermore, in my state you would be entitled to “make-up” visitation time for the time you lost in the summer through no fault of your own. obviously she is more concerned with preventing your relationship with your son and causing you grief than anything else. shame on her.

  • Laura

    My ex went to jail for 3 weeks for drug charge he is current on bail and now trying to press parental kidnapping against me I don’t want to return kids because of the horrible stuff they have witness and now are happy nod healthier with me … Will a proacuter issue jail time

  • Jesmom

    If one of your child’s parents work out of state and is not home for his weekends do I still have to send my child with his girlfriend?

    • knowyourlegalrights

      if she is not specified in the visitation order, then no. document it. write him a letter and send it with delivery confirmation through postal service stating you certainly encourage his relationship with his child but you must consider the child’s best interests – you don’t know the girlfriend nor does the child, neither of you are not comfortable with the travel arrangements, you will not turn your child over to the girlfriend as she is not included in the visitation/custody order and you do not wish the child to be taken out of state without the permission of the court. the child’s best interests is the primary consideration a court will give. he can file a motion for contempt and say you refused him visitation but it is not reasonable for him to expect you to turn over your child to a stranger to be taken out of state. or if the girlfriend is the one “visiting” with your child — bullshit. she has no right whatsoever to visitation unless the court has granted it, and that my friend is probably very, very unlikely.

  • Wayneo

    Me and sons mother have joint Custody and I get him every Thursday threw Sunday but now she’s met a military guy and says she wants to merry him and move to Hawaii in July but we have 50/50 can she take him it will kill me not seeing him but summers

    • fightforyourlegalrights

      first, physical custody is different from legal custody, as you may already know. it sounds like you have joint physical custody and therefore probably also have joint legal custody as well. your custody order or the provision in your divorce decree probably specifies that neither of you can move out of the state, or more than 100 miles away, or may have some other provision requiring the court’s approval before this type of move. if so, if she takes the children out of the state and therefore out of the court’s jurisdiction without obtaining a court order, you may have several options, including filing a motion for contempt and a motion for full custody of your children and requesting their immediate return from Hawaii, as well as an action under the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA). judges don’t take kindly to a party that ignores a court order. all states have adopted the UCCJA (Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act) which considers the child’s “home” the state in which the child has lived in for the past six months. I will tell you this – I was a military officer’s wife for 20 years and am a legal professional – if she marries a military man and moves your children to Hawaii under her new husband’s military orders (meaning the military pays for the move and considers the children his dependents – common for step-parents in the military) and in doing so violates a court order and in effect kidnaps those children, his career will most likely be over. if that happens he is an accessory to kidnapping for providing the means to remove the children from the state and the military will NOT harbor him.

  • christina

    What do I do if the father of my children is putting his new wife’s name on school And other documents that says she is the mother

  • annette rusche

    I just found out my sons stepmother is a registered sex offender and my son lives there, what do I do

  • Jennifer

    Can I file Custodial interference against my childrens Grandparents? She has called social services on me 8 times when i let her have visitation and its time for ne to pick them up they start crying saying they hate me i ask them why they say it they tell me Grandma tells me too! She tells my children im not the mom that she is. Tonight my son was crying as i was pickin him up she shuts the door and locks it and wouldnt let me have him and told me ahe was calling law and that i couldbcouldnt have him until they got there which this is second time she has done this!

  • stephanie

    my childs father has custody of our 3 year old little girl… he is in jail for a class 4 felony how do i go about getting her back i have my own 2 bed apartment no criminal record

  • jewel 4me

    My friend has a son who went to Mexico to visit family(fathers sister) when it came time to return him she refused. She’s a lawyer with friends in high places in Mexico so how does my friend get her boy back? She’s been hitting walls everywhere she turns. It has been two years. …any knowledge on what to do?

  • Eric Korbly

    Punishable by jail time LOL … not if a mother does it, I got the incident report of my address from the city I live it & the list is extensive, couple dozen custody interference calls. I had to file a missing persons report for our son once when she took off. Then the false accusations in court, because there is no recourse she just fires away. Not once has the local court done a thing regarding the violations.

  • mom6

    Hi, my exhusband has sole conservatory. I do have visitation rights every Saturday. Court orders state each party is to notify each other of any changes. My ex gave power of attorney to his wife to make any decisions over my daughter and she has taken her out of the counrty. I was not notified in anyway but only from what my daughter said to me. I contacted my ex and have begged him not to let her go. He disregarded my plea. I have filed all the motions in court but i wanted to know if i could file criminal charges on his wife for taking her without my consent. What is upsetting is, my exhusband isnt going with them and isnt allowed to leave the united states. If so he can never return. He will not risk it.

  • Mari beth

    My ex hasn’t done anything for his son or daughter in 10 plus years and is not on neither birth certificate and there is no support order because Texas oag says Michigan can’t find him even though they have all his identifying information and he’s been on parole and probation. I took them up there from texas to see him and his family and left my son to visit with his father for a couple of weeks and my son asked to stay until his birthday which I agreed and now his father is saying he isn’t bringing him back like agreed upon knowing that he isnt going to bring him back can I file kidnapping charges now or do I have to wait?

  • My ex who is not my daughters father and is not on the birth certificate but who has a co guardianship with me has now filed a tro restraining me from seeing my daughter the tro was just dissolved by the judgeThe Court having considered the pleadings and papers on file, hereby dissolves the Temporary Restraining Order based upon the fact that the Court finds no basis upon which to grant the relief under UCA 30-5a-101, et seq. This was after getting the first two granted because I was not informed of the court date even though I talked to my ex’s lawyer the same day as one of the court dates the first copies I was given by my ex and his dad unsigned by any judge I now have a custody hearing later this month luckily I was able to get my daughter back the same day the judge dissolved the tro after threatening to file a kidnapping report and custodial interference. My questions are what are my rights as my daughter’s only biological parent I have a boyfriend also that has been dad to my daughter since she was only 2 months old and who she has always called daddy my ex specifically asked he not be allowed to see my daughter because he jealous of their bond. So what can I do is there anyway to get the custody hearing dismissed based on the same reasons the tro was dissolved? Can I file custodial interference or harassment or anything to prevent him from doing this again ? How do I terminate the co guardianship? And lastly what do I do as far as I have always done my best to protect my kids from ever having to go threw a custody battle even when I was 17 i granted my ex husband joint custody of our daughter after I was awarded sold custody because I really think that’s how it should be kids don’t like to be seperated from a parent just as much if not more than the parents like it I know from personal experience that’s why I am going threw this now because I was to kind hearted to tell him no he could no longer see her after we broke up when she was about a month old this is the second time he has tried doing this so do I tell my daughter no when she is crying for him and misses him or do I risk this all over again because I dont want her to feel the same heartache I did when I was the same age as her and my mom kicked my dad out and I never saw him again till 7 years later?

  • Taylor Townsend

    Its all lies. The judges and courts suck up to these sick “moms”. My husband had been denied his right to see his children by his ex for over SIX YEARS! He is on his THIRD lawyer just trying to be able to see his children, like the decree states, and she still continues to break the law. She never answers the phone and has continually interfered with his visitations. He has years of police reports and documented proof that she doesnt allow the legal visitations. She even has a convicted child molester for a father (his two boys grandfather) who she drops the children off to for day care!!!! We have contacted Child services and the police and had two lawyers and gone to court and NOTHING has happened. No one cares that she is breaking the law. She manipulates the children because she wants the $700 a month. We have fought and tried to find someone to fight for his rights and its all bullshit. She flashes a smile to the judge and says she wont do it again, and she gets off. All my husband wants in the world is to be able to be with his two boys and she continues to act like an immature child and ILLEGALLY keep his children from him. You would think that just having a convicted child sex offender for their grandfather would be enough to legally get them away from her.
    But, no. Just take her to court and everything will be fixed. Whatever. The legal system is pathetic and sick. I dare someone to give us real advice and get her put in jail. No lawyer has helped us yet.

  • Trisha

    I haven’t seen or spoken to my only child in 3 years! The paternal grandmother along with her son my ex took me to court for years doing everything to find me unfit, The Judges dismissed me, never asked me any question, 730 evaluations were in my favor but I know by hearing it !st hand from my ex his parents bribed the judges, attorney and evaluator to all go in their favor. In the mean time my daughter and I lost all contact, they changed her cell #, they painted me out to be a horrible person and the last time I saw her or hugged her was 3 years ago. I do have visitation, it’s not much but it isn’t enforced. I also don’t want to make my daughter hate me more. She use to love me and talk to me. She use to say I have the prettiest mommy n the entire school. Now if I try &see her cheerleading I just get ignored or a filthy look. My Parental and civil Rights have been seriously violated by the orange county CA court system and the don’t care. I found out my ex got loaded and left my 3 year old at the mall for the police to find her terrified and the father passed out. I just found out recently. They should have gotten ahold of me asap nut his mother help sweep it under the rug like always.. I don’t know what to do or where to start. I do want to see my child, I want them to pay for there crime of violating a court order and lying about me out of pure hatred for me. I also want to sue the court system.
    Thank you for letting me vent… Mom’s Rights

  • jessica

    My es husband sister has my kids and she inpurpose won’t let me talk to my children on the phone. I have joint custody. Can I press charges against her?

  • jessica

    What can I do she has No right because she isn’t the paper she has No custodial rights. My children were in a car crash with No car seats and his sister was driving thats the reason I call to check that my children are safe and No answer at all she turns off her phone unpurpose. Plus last night i call my ex to speak with my children and my children tell me that there inside the car as were speaking by themselves and my ex is in the store. I asked my children where is their dad my son tells me his in the store. Help what can I do to ensure that my children are safe when they are not with me.

  • Tia Lucio

    Ok i got my 16 year old and her grandmother has custodial coustiten over her…and ben lieing to her..her hole 16 years….and now i told her the truth …now she wants to come and see me and she wil not let her wat can i do….i was 15 wen i singed papers with out my mothere there and it was at her lawers office ..and she still works at ..pls tell me wat i can do ..she wants to come meet me and see me thank u tia lucio

  • Tia Lucio

    We never went to court just to her lawers office wen i was 15 so but i got to pay child support

  • Jennifer

    I am a mother of 3. My ex husband lives in another state the I do with my kids. We have a meeting point in the middle of where we both live. He only gets the kids 6 weeks in the summer and every other Xmas. He in the last has called social services on me and have had the kids looked at many times. It’s frustrating because I would never put my kids in harms way.
    They are with him now and he is saying something happened with our son and he called social services again. He said he won’t be at the meeting point on the court ordered date. He says he is going to keep them till he is told he has to give them back.
    What do I do. Can I have the police go to his house without me being there and get them. I’m so confused. I just want my kids back. He does this everytime. It’s costing me so much money in court fees and lawyer fees. Any suggestions.


    Me and my ex who I never married have a child together. He was granted physical joint custody in 2010 and we were to keep in touch but he would not give me his number to speak to him so I have been speaking to his ex wife about my son and visitations. when I picked my son up in June I found out from my son that he does not live with his father he is staying with his step Mom and he doesn’t know where his father is. I refused to take my son back to the step Mom and now his father is calling me saying that he is getting an attorney. Did I do wrong by keeping my son? I am trying to file contempt of court against him but the state of SC will not give me the paperwork to file so I sent a letter to the judge in regards to the situation. Did I have the right to interfere the way I did? also does anyone know where I can get paperwork to file contempt of court/modified custody order in SC?

  • Latonya Thomas

    Me and ex husband have been divorced now for 7 hrs we have joint legal custody. I was given every other weekend visitation in 2008 but that was suspended because I had no car or driver’s lience. Which was insane because I could use public transportation. My whole divorce was a violation to my rights. My husband was very extremely abusive. He was granted custody even though of his domestic violence charges. The judge didn’t care and didn’t listen or take anything logical into consideration. It has bee .over 5 hrs since I have saw my children, over a year since I talked to them. No contact what so ever.. I’ve stayed away because only trying to see my children made him more furious. No one has tried to protect me or my children. I have no clue what my children even almost look like.. He won’t allow me facetime, Facebooking, texting, nothing. My children r 15 yr my son, 12-10 my two daughter age. How is this constitutional. I was not a unfit mother or anything. He simply manipulated the system and I used them to help him dragg me thru hell these last 5-7 years. Can anyone understand my pain?? Help..

  • Stacey Brown

    My step son is 15yrs old and we had possession for the summer. He has been asking his mother for over a year to let him come live with us. We have joint custody. He asked us at the first of the year to please find a way for him to come live with us. So we filed papers to modify parent child relationship. We returned him the day we were supposed to and at that time he told his mother he was not staying there any longer. She filed an order to comply. My husband was ordered to comply and return him. He was with his mother for a week and we got him that next weekend for our standard visitation and again when we took him home he again told his mother and expressed that he is tired of the fighting and wants to live with his dad. We have a court date coming up for the modification but since he is with us she is threatening to have my husband put in jail for contempt of court for not complying. We tried to file an emergency ex parte but the same judge denied it. Even after he said I am 100% sure he dose not want to live with his mother. My stepson said that is we take him back to his mothers he will run away and has expressed this to many other people!!

  • Jean McConnell

    can a parent keep a grandfather away from his 30 yr grandson that lives in a group home ? the grandson has C/P and has a good mind. the state took this young man away from his mother

  • Heartbroken

    My ex husband took my 13 year old daughter. She was in honors classes and chorus going to Universal Studios this year. He had no right to withdraw her from school. He arete harassed her for years until she finally gave in and went to live with him. He is not considering what is best for her. Should I see the magistrate judge and take out a warrant?

  • Doreen

    I live in Maryland, my grandson lives with me, I have shared custody with his mother. She had him 2 days a week for visits, and I have the rest of the time. She has now moved out of state, and never told me she was moving and has no contact with him. Can I now go for full custody?

  • Alice

    I’m going through a custody battle with my ex we already went through mediation and have court next week. Since June 2,2015 the court order is the father has sole and physical custody And i get supervised visits at chat house,OR with a supervisor of fathers choosing…. And mediator that clear to him…. Well her bday was 2 days ago and I asked if I could see her at least 5mins to take her balloons and so her brothers could see her too (since they’re not allowed at the visit at chat house) they haven’t seen her since June 2.. Well he refused to let me see her. He said no it has to be supervised visitation by a professional only so you have to wait for your visit on Saturday… I left it as that.. Well today I get a call from chat house that he canceled my visit.. So now I have to wait for next Saturday to see her… This is the second visit he has cancelled… I didn’t get to see her for 3mths due to the chat house not having any openings for a visit.. So from June 2 – Aug 30 I didn’t see her, now she’s having a hard time trying to adjust to our visits that are once a week for 2hrs.. I don’t think it’s fair that he’s taking the only time I have with her away from me just to go to a damn parade…. She needs me as much as she needs him and her time with me is a need… Plus he still has enough time to make it to the visit because the parade is over at 1030am. My visit starts at 1130… Is there anything I could do? Will the judge take this into consideration??

  • RoguesScholarUSMC

    I am a father trying to get my ex to follow court visitation orders. In an attempt to build a relationship with my daughter, I went to the State Police of Oregon and the Sheriffs Dept. to file a report for kidnapping and Custodial Interference. My ex refuses to let me see my daughter, moves without telling me the location, and recently took my daughter to California without the courts, nor my approval. I have seen my daughter 2 times and she is only 3 years old. The State Police admitted she was committing a felony, but there was nothing they could do about it. I’m trying my hardest and only the court can convict of a crime. Motion for the Order to Show Cause:Enforcement of parenting plan followed by Motion of Contempt is the ONLY WAY!! I’m losing hope as I know can’t afford an attorney. Please keep me in your prayers as I feel my daughter will suffer from emotional damage without me in her life. How can something be illegal and NOT ENFORCEABLE by the police?????

  • Grand

    My 14 year old granddaughter who has been living with her dad totally for the last 19 months has been ordered by a judge to visit her Mom every other weekend. This teenager is hysterical about this. Her mother has mental issues, has taken drugs and steals and lives with her mother and dad who are not reputable people. The judge would not given anyone a chance to tell him all of this. Her dad is distraught. He does not mind the mother having visiting rights, but not at her mother and dads home. What would happen if this 14 year old refused to go with her mother. Would the Dad be in trouble? Help?

  • Kevin Outram

    My ex girlfriend and I have a 5 year old daughter Oahu Hawaii we agreed in person talking on what days each it worked for a while and now she has all this attitude won’t let me see or know where my daughter is so can i call the police to report parental kidnapping or what can I do for the time to still be with my daughter cause the mother is telling her the new boyfriend is her dad and I disspeared.what Cani do untill we do custody through court?

  • Richard Bertram

    does any one know the name of the paper work to fill custody interference

  • Richard Bertram

    ok to get a quick sum of what’s going on I have two state on my back for child support. the state of Colorado where my child is and the state where is starts. Aurelia Marie Spears S.S.N. 650-34-2254 birth day 10-21-2004 my child the mom Karin M Spears abandoned with grandparent Jack and Janet Spears 1170 E Ellicott Rd. S. Calhan, co.80808 on/or before 8-24-2008 I went to court 3 month after to get custody of her. I found out and was told it is not against the law if it is under a year in Colorado law. 2009 I moved to Arizona and I stop paying child support. mom never went and got Aurelia back from grandparent. now Arizona is taking my license and want to put me in jail because mom and grandparent wont tell the truth about where my child is and where lives. if thay tell the truth I get custody if they lie the grandparents are contoling the child under second degree kidnapping. I can’t file fraud charges I can’t turn it in to IRS for fraud and I can’t file kidnapping charges. Richard C Bertram and Karin Spears has custody of Aurelia grandparent do not have custody or a court order to file taxies on Aurelia M Spears. How do I file tax fraud?

    • Jessica Lavine Freeman

      Take her social security number off of here!!!!!!

  • Cirena Terry

    Can the grandmother be denied visitation due to the biological mother having active warrants, the visits are to be supervised with the mother by the grandmother. The father only has temporary custody.

  • DeeDee Jonte

    My ex-sister-in-law has taken my child and Luke out of state she thinks that she has guardianship but the papers were just filed with the court there was never a judges signature but in the guardianship that was filed was Her and my brother as co guardians but moved without telling us and now she has blocked all contact with my side of family. We do know where she’s at now what I’m asking is does anybody know what it’s called in Utah if it’s called a writ of attachment Writ of assistance writ of habeas corpus in our terms it would be a pick up order. If so how do I get a petition I have full legal custody of my child but I don’t want to drive 1000 miles for them not to give me my child back I’m trying to do things the right way I know I have to contact the sheriffs office any help would help

  • nick

    My daughters mother is keeping me from seeing my daughter even on tjis upcoming father day. Can I get law enforcement involved so i can see my child

  • Samiamgreeneggsnspam

    My family has contacted CPS and reported false allegations against myself the mother and biological father of our daughter my family is doing this all of course out of malice and vindictiveness towards me because we recently I had a bad falling out.a

    family falling out that occurred recently I was contacted by CPS today and I told them that my daug
    hter is in Texas right now for the summer with her grandparents can they still pursue an investigation against the parents
    If the child is currently not in the home or the state and can Arizona have our daughter extradited back this during her summer vacation with her grandparents because of the alleged allegations that were reported to CPS

  • Samiamgreeneggsnspam

    And if CPS has been contacted here in the state of Arizona for alleged allegations regarding our daughter can I have my daughter stay with her grandparents out of state light can I somehow release or relinquish temporary parental custody to them without going through CPS like if I printed something else and got it notarized and then next time CPS comes to visit me tries to and if CPS offend contacted here in the state of Arizona for a ledge delegation regarding our daughter can I have my daughter stay with her grandparents out of state in Texas like can I somehow release relinquish temporary parental custody to them without going I have given up my parental rights temporarily to her grandparents who are now residing in Texas can I do that legally and what can CPS do if anything at that point

  • Tessaca Chaffin

    Hi, I am a woman who has joint custody of my two children. My children live in Kentucky with their father and he sends them to school. I live in North Carolina, and I haven’t been able to see my kids due to financial distress. Not only that, he has not let me talk to them on the phone. He says they do not want to talk to me. My kids are 16 and 10. I know my 16 year old does not want to talk to me but, I know for a fact that my 10 year old would love to talk to me. What would I have to do to be able to at least be able to talk to my 10 year old on the phone until I’m financially able to go see my kids? Even when I’m able to go see them will i have a problem visiting them since I haven’t been able to? Will they have to come with me even if they don’t want to acording to the child custody laws? I miss my children so much it physically makes me ill thinking about them. They are on my mind everyday. This has left me so depressed and I want nothing more than to speak with them, even if I can’t see them right now, at least I will be able to hear their voices. Life is so cruel. Please, whom ever reads this, do not judge me because you do not know my story. If you do not have any information to help me please do not leave any comments at all. I have a hard enough time with all this so, I don’t need anyone talking down to me when you don’t even know me or how things ended up the way that it did.

  • william garcia

    Hi I ma william , i have a 4 year son , i have the joint custody , and i have the physical custody of my son , i now i normally get him every weekens stating on fridays friday- sunday, now the mother of my child wouldnt let me see him , what can i do

  • Jacquelyn Maynard

    hey i have a question if a father has stop communications with me and only attempts to contact me when he is made feel horrible for not seeing his kid for over 3.5 years and then breaks promises to see a daughter since she was 18 months and in the last six months has almost stop paying his child support of $52 a week do i have a leg to stand on to take his fatherly rights from him when all he does is use the title of a father like a trophy? i would appreciate any feedback.

  • Christy Ponder

    My son wants to get his attorney general papers changed,he has two daughters by same girl…they were never married…did live together a while…she is trying to move out of state with a boyfriend… my son wants to file papers with the court on his own…no lawyer… my son gets his kids on his weekends and any time she ask him to ….he loves his daughters and is devastated she is trying to take them to another state… last year for his month of July she told him she was moving with her sister to another state 16 hours away….left 2 days before july,came back day after july ended….should he get a lawyer or could he get court order changed to she can’t move out of state filing his own papers ? He’s in Texas…Marshall tx

  • Eric Korbly

    LOL, A lengthy criminal record including fraud to the tune of 50k, 3 years behind support payments, dozens of police documented custody violations (kidnapping charges file by local PD once), perjury, ect… never had her license revoked, or spent a single day in jail, … nothing.

    The system doesn’t care about the kids at all. One one side they’ll throw men in jail for violations of orders, on the other if a mother doesn’t follow an order it’s rare there’s any punishment at all.

    Even if it’s convenient for you that the courts are favorable to your personal desires by some bias the fact that they operate without looking to determine the facts as best they can to make impartial decisions, rather than claims alone the benefits of this system will be to abusive people who have no issues telling lies.

    • Caitlin Kyle

      Ohhh I know all about the system, and how much they care about the “best interest” in the child(ren). My ex~ husband did not take a court ordered hair follical drug test, but yet he was still allowed to have visitation, even though his live in girlfriend got nailed with having a needle and a spoon, but since on the court records it has a different address than his, there was noting I could do, unless I was able to prove that she is living with him.Then, I got wind that he attempted to steal an air conditioner (yes, you read that right lol) from Wal mart, and then the very next day he went back to try to steal ten DVDS.Still I couldn’t do anything legally…I got sick of this…I played by the court’s game…I did everything I was told to do, and his contempt for Not taking the drug test was going unpunished…so I refused to let our son go. Of course, he called his lawyer and was going to try to get me with contempt. I went to the police station to pick up the actual reports (more details)…turns out when he got caught the second time, he admitted he was stealing things for herion…and while I was up there I got the police report where is girlfriend got nailed with the needle, and the spoon…lord a behold, it had his address…I gave it to my attorney, and was able to get his every other weekend visitation knocked down to supervised visitation…what tops it all of is that HIS mother is not allowed to be the supervisor at all, since she has lied to the courts, and me regarding his drug use… BTW his visitation was modified prior the the supervised visits…in the beginning it was Thursday to Friday one week, then the next week it was Friday to Sunday…but since the ex was not helping our son with his homework from school the days he had him school days…I got a written statement from his teacher on which days his homework was not getting done. Anyways, he hasn’t even tried to do his visitation since I refused, which was on June 17th…not even his supervised visits…That is why I am here…to try to get some ideas what I can do as far as him not excercising his visitation… I know you can’t make a mother/father visit, but four months now since the last contact with him…there has to be something I can do..

      • Caitlin Kyle

        Oh, also, sorry for the novel 🙂

  • mschan

    I was domestically violated by my boyfriend (ex-boyfriend now). I want to press charges, but I am unaware of the law regarding my children who are to a different male. If I press charges, we both will have to go to jail because he scratched himself and stated that I did it. He nearly killed me. It has been a month–I have been trying to figure out: WILL MY CHILDREN’S DAD GET THEM IF I GO TO JAIL TO PRESS CHARGES ON THIS MAN. My children and I have other people who help with their everyday life (grandma), schooling (daycare), etc… where their life could go on uninterrupted. I really want this guy to receive reprimands for what he did to me. I need my oldest son–a 16 year old–to know what should happen to people who attack others. Nevertheless, I am afraid that I may lose my children whom I currently have full custody of. When I get back home, I think that I may becoming the parent on the outside making visits.

  • Elizabeth

    My mother who is my sons grandmother will not give my son back to me he has been with her for over a year now but the only reason is because I moved and he wanted to finish school with my mom we agreed. That when summer came I would get him well she would not give him back I called the police they said she had them and can’t make her give him to me I tried on my own and she would attack me well then she asked could u write a letter giving my custody for a year so she can sign if he gets sick I did only because I did not want my baby hurt and they could not treat him now the letter is up and there asking for another and I don’t want to if there is a way I can get him back we have never been to court nor has might rights been taken care of I have a job a house a car don’t do drugs or drink please can someone tell me what do

  • Jeff Corbin

    Wow, that single mom steph remark 2 years ago is way off base. Not sure of so many things it is hard to answer your question. How far does each individual live from the other? If the ex spouse is violating a condition of the divorce, then yes you can call the police and always file a report.

  • blackseabrew

    I was told by the Missouri Department of Social Services regarding my daughter, that my ex-wife, as the physical custodian of my daughter, has to provide custodianship documents to a school when she enrolls our daughter in a new school. What Missouri statute states this?

  • blackseabrew

    My ex-wife has tested positive for marijuana. She did not comply to the court order to have our daughter tested for drugs for nearly 4 weeks. I had to pay extra to send a lab tech to my ex’s residence to collect hair samples and with my daughter effectively non-cooperative the tech was only able to get a small sample of hair, that will possibly be an insufficient amount for testing purposes but most likely she will test positive as well. My 15 year-old daughter’s facebook posts strongly suggest my ex and my daughter were smoking marijuana together and the photos do show my daughter smoking marijuana as well as showing freshly rolled joints. I know my daughter

    What will happen regarding custody? We are currently in a bitterly contested custody battle.

  • ekay cee

    My ex and I do not have any legal custody agreements, we rely on co parenting. I only get to see my 9 year old daughter once a week due to both of our hectic schedules. I pick her up every Saturday after I get off of work at about 7:45p (takes me 30-40 minutes to commute to their house from work). Recently, her mother started going out to her friend’s house all around the area that we live in and expects me to pick up our daughter wherever she is. I don’t mind if they are within a reasonable area, but this weekend my commute would have consisted of one hour to the friend’s house, then one hour back to my home, which doesn’t leave me any time to spend with her before she goes to bed. Are there rules or limits as to where pick up and drop off takes place? I understand that going the legal route would solidify things, but wanted to get opinions from everyone’s expertise before moving forward. Thank you for any kind words of guidance!

  • Don Barton

    Pl she routinely makes me wait 15 minutes or more and even took my son out if my hands one day and went inside and wouldn’t give him back police came gave him to me but said it’s a civil issue they didn’t want to deal with it my ex refuses to allow my mom to spend anytime with our son and fir no reason I would like our son to be able to have equal time between the grandma’s for daycare I and my ex work the same shift at the Same company and live ten minutes apart my mother is willing to watch are son free of charge in a larger cleaner home with just the two of them there. With time spent in early childhood development classes. He is 13 months old but my x refuses to allow this and will not talk about it at all help please I just want things split down the middle and fair for everyone. Is there anything I can do?

  • Elizabeth Zelsnack

    So what am I supposed to do when my ex only has visitation every other weekend such as Saturday 9-5 and sunday 9-5 but then refuses to give her back to me and the cops say that can’t do anything about it. I have full custody placement etc. He just has visitations. Mind you he and his new girlfriend have been turned into cps for neglect and abuse numerous times in just the last year. She’s only 2. This sisnt the first time Ive had to call the cops on him for not giving her back either.

  • Kyle Bryant

    Yes I have a question my ex girl friend has custody of my 4 yeyar old daughter at this time I do not a have any parental rights due to when my daughter was born we were separated and i was incarcerated. My daughters mother has n a heavy i.v. methamphetamine drug user and has already in her past marriage lost 3 children due to her addiction and living environment. My question is what are the steps I should take to try and get custody of my daughter. Because her mother still is using and continues to put the welfare of my daughter in harm’s way by taking her to known drug dealers and users houses and has came to my attention that when her mother has conflict with other drug users she uses my daughter as a kind of shield to keep known drug users from basically jumping on her for what ever reasons or things she’s involved in. Not only does she use my daughter as a shield. But she can not provide a stable living environment for her. My ex lives off and on with her grandmother who has been diagnosed with cancer and is in no shape to care for a 4 year old little girl. And stays here and there at known drug users houses. It has been brought to my attention by many sources that she has been seen shooting meth in front of my daughter and many other incidents including keeping up and out at numerous drug users house at extremely late hours for numerous days. My ex refuses to let see my daughter or build a relationship with her. I have a stable home and stable job have gotten married and my wife has a 3 year old daughter that she shares custody with her father as well. I also had to request a paternity test on my free will because my ex continuously was taking other men in for paternity but would never mention me so I called and requested one my self and the results were as I know 99.99 percent I was the father. She refuses to let me have contact with my daughter and at this Time I have no paternal writes due to we where not married and i was incarcerated during my daughters birth. Also I will admitt I have a felony record for possession and delivery but have served my time and took many classes while incarcerated first being I took a parenting class and substance abuse treatment program and several others. Since my release I have turned my life around and have been out for over a year and had no trouble what so ever and am currently on parole. With all this said I just want what’s best for my daughter and her well being. We live in the state of arkansas o any add vice on what steps to take would be greatly appreciated I just want to do what’s best for my daughter. Thank you

  • Javier Garza

    We have 50/50 custody of the children but my 11 year old is in middle school and is released at 3:40 pm and the office closes at 4:30 pm. On the days he is with his mother she leaves him outside the school and picks him up after 5:30 pm sometimes at 6 pm. My son calls me and says he is at times the only one sitting outside the school and I will drive by when I get off work or his grandmother will go by and we wait there with him until she shows up. I worry about his safety because anything can happen to him. The divorce decree says that possession of the child will begin when the children are dismissed from school or at 6 pm when school is not in session. I was told that its considered abandonment and that I should pick him up and due to safety concerns not release him to her if she shows up to my house to pick him up. I have tried to offer to pick him up and my son will call her to see if its ok for me to pick him up but she refuses. Any ideas on this

  • Beth <