Types of Child Custody 507

Ways the Court Can Dictate How Custody is Divided Between Parents

There are different types of child custody that can be granted by the court:

Physical Custody

Physical custody (also known as parenting time in some jurisdictions) means that the child lives with you, at least part of the time. A parent with physical custody will be responsible for (and have the right to) see to the daily needs of the child, such as keeping him home from school when he’s sick and allowing him to go play with friends as well as the more major needs such as food, clothing and a safe place to sleep.

Legal Custody

Legal custody gives you the right to make the major decisions that will affect your child’s life. A few examples of these types of decisions re where they’ll go to school, what religion they’ll practice and authorization for medical care.

Joint vs. Sole Custody

Each of the custody types mentioned above (Physical and Legal) may be awarded jointly to both parents or solely, meaning only to one parent and each type of custody is addressed separately.

Joint physical custody, for example, allows the child to spend equal amounts of time with both parents, say a week with one parent and then a week with the other. You can, however, have a completely different arrangement and still have joint legal custody (both parents having the ability to make important decisions for the child)…the two custody concepts are ruled separately.

Even in cases of sole physical custody, many courts maintain the practice of awarding joint legal custody, allowing both parents to participate in decision-making processes. This requires the parents to communicate any concerns or desires about their child’s upbringing by maintaining a civil, cooperative relationship and work together as a team. Sole legal custody is also an option, though not the norm.

The main factor the courts consider is what will provide the most stability for the child. If the parents live close together and can both provide equally well, then a “back and forth” schedule may be a realistic possibility.

On the other hand, if the parents live farther away from one another, the court may rule that the child stay in one home during the school year and live with the other parent when school is not in session. Holidays, birthdays and other special occasions are also addressed during the negotiation process so that both parents have the opportunity to share in the child’s memorable milestones.

If sole physical custody is awarded to one parent, the other parent will likely receive visitation.


  • mary

    left the state with four year old in seperation from male partner and father to child – their is no legal paper work for custody. The father is verbally abusive and starting in low stages of physical violence to me. Now he states that he will find us and take my son. if he files in the original state will I and the child need to travel back if the situation is not safe. he also has passed history of all this from and exwife and child ( he has no custody of that child) I have also filed police reports on him to show his domestic issues.

    • Monica

      A custody determination will be made by a court in the child’s home state. A child’s home state is where the child has lived for at least 6 months.

    • Cristyll

      I had the same situation I left with my one year old to Puerto Rico and there was no legal paper work either. He went to the court and filed for custody and stated I had left the state and the court made me return back and give him my son. When we went to court they gave us joint physical custody, three days with me and three days with him. The situation might be a little different with you because of the abusiveness in the past relationship. You may have to show reasoning for why you decided to move and how your dramatic move will better the child. I wish u best of luck!

  • Amanda Kennedy

    We have shared legal custody, but my ex and his parents purposefully exclude me from school information to make me look bad in court. I chase the information myself, but if you don’t know to look for something it can be very hard. Any legal way to correct this?

    • Monica

      If you have joint legal custody you should inform the school of that in writing (attach a copy of the court order or agreement which provides that you share joint legal custody to your letter), and request that a copy of all correspondence, notices, flyers, letters, etc. be sent to you as well as your child’s father. Be sure to include all your contact information (address, phone number and e-mail.) The school is obligated to comply with your request. Keep a copy of the letter to the school in the event you will ever need to present it in court. You should also be participating in parent-teacher conferences.

      • Gloria

        how about if the school doesn’t provide or send additional information and they just it to the primary residential parent? Because there’s certain schools that seems like it’s too much trouble to go alittle extra even though I’m the who mainly contacts them.

  • Chester Martin

    I am in the process of initiating a divorce from my wife. We have 2 wonderful children ages9 and almost 11 years. We have been in this state for about 6 years. My wife hates it here and has intentions of leaving here as soon as she can. My greatest worry is that if she somehow gets full custody that she would be able to legally move across country with my babies. I have really tried to be a good husband and am an adoring father with no history of domestic violence or sexual abuse. Actually no criminal record what so ever. We have a home and land to divide and that doesn’t worry me. I can buy more land and build a home if need be. However, these boys are more important to me than anything on this earth. I desperately need to know whether or not she can take them from me.

    Thank you very much,

    Chester Martin

    • Monica

      Custody laws vary from state to state, so you should look at the divorce laws in your state. However, in general the more custody/visitation you have the more difficult it will be for mother to obtain a court order that provides that she can move out of state with the children. If you are both good parents there is no reason why custody would not be 50/50. You should file a motion seeking joint physical and legal custody and be sure you have at least 50% custodial time.

  • DeAnna

    we have a custody order that reads i have full physical custody, and joint legal custody with my sons father, we live in iowa. we have had issues with dhs, they are currently closing our case due to safety concerns no longer remaining. however my son is 4 yrs old and in preschool 4 days a week, our current order states he gets him wednesday from 5pm-Thurs @ 11:30 am, and every other weekend from friday @ 5-monday @ 11:30. My son gets picked up for school @ 11:30 and we currently do our visitation exchanges 10 miles away. my son always comes back dirty, irritable, hungry, and exhausted. I am in the process of getting the order modified, do you think i stand a chance for solely every other weekend.

  • sheena

    I share joint custody of my 2 sons with my ex husband. We do this where the children live with me one week and with the father another week. Here’s the kicker I live in wv he lives in ky. I travel one and a half hours one way to get my children to school. I want to change it to where i am primary custodian again, but am not sure how to go about it. We have went to court since I moved but the judge says he see’s no wrong with the children having to travel at such a far distance. I want to overturn this but I don’t know how to go about it? any suggestions?

    • It is unlikely that you will be able to get an order which grants you primary custody if you and your ex spouse have been sharing custody. However, you can bring an action on family court requesting that the visitation schedule be modified based on the hardship on the children from the travel back and forth each week. For example, you can propose a visitation schedule where you have more of the time during the school year, but your ex spouse has more time during summer vacations and holidays.

  • Tee

    I am about to be married. My daughter’s biological father has been in and out of her life for the last 8 years. Maybe he has seen her 15 times in 8 years of life. It is very hard to get in touch with him when I need him for certain things (like obtaining a passport). He has made it very clear that his priorities lie elsewhere. I would like to be the Sole Legal and Physical custody and then after getting married my fiance would like to adopte her…
    She has known him as her father for the last 5 years. Please advise.

    • In order for your husband to adopt your daughter, biological father’s rights will have to be terminated. You should consult with the laws or a lawyer in your state to ascertain whether the facts in your case will qualify for a termination of rights.

      • Angile

        In Ohio, I know pretty much the law for step parent adoption. The only question that I have not found an answer for is, do my husband and I need or have to be married for a minimum of 1 year before he can adopt my child?

  • Ebony Bayne

    Hi I have recently moved from maryland back to ny with my family due to a nasty break up. I have two kids with my ex one three months old,one six yrs old, we have been here for seven months and there dad has only come to see them twice he now wants to file for joint custody how do I now if this is joint legal custody or joint physical custody? Will a judge actually make us split kids up through the year that are so young? I breast feed our daughter what will that mean for her?

    • Once father files for joint custody you will be able to determine from the paperwork whether he is seeking joint legal custody, joint physical custody or both. When ordering a visitation schedule, the court will take into consideration the age of the children and the fact that you are still breast feeding will also be taken into consideration.

  • Christina

    My husband has joint legal custody, but his daughter’s mother is not allowing him to be apart of the decision on where their daughter goes to school and her medical care. He has set up to get notified of all doctor appointment so he could attend, as she won’t tell him of the appointments, and now she is changing the appointments last minute, again so he cannot attend. Medical decisions are being made without him and without his consent. Is there something he can do? Is this contempt on her part because he has joint legal custody?

    • Your husband should file an action in the family law court informing the judge that mother has not been complying with the court order. If the court finds that mother is intentionally not following the order, the court may award legal custody to your husband.

      • S.M

        Okay. So I posted a question along these lines and it was myself that has been going through this. My ex refuses to give me consent to take our Daughter to the Doctor when it is clear she needs to go. I am in collections because my ex will not pay his percent he is ordered to pay. I have taken her to the Doctor when she needs to go. I am the “responsible party” but yet I am still having problems because my ex won’t help me with her medical. Going against the decree was never my intent. My intent is to seek medical care for our Daughter. Now what??

      • DH

        How do you file an action in family court informing the judge that the custodial parent is not complying with the court order? My ex husband has custody of our three boys, 13, 16, 17, as that is where they chose to live. However, our 16 yr old son had a very major medical issue November 2011 and now has simple partial seizures. It is in the custody order that my ex is supposed to take care of all doctors visits and medical issues with the children. However, he has not made my son a follow up appointment with the neurologist, which should have been done February 2012. How long do I give him to make that appointment? Do I also file with CPS? We are in Texas.

  • Joe

    I was awarded sole custody of both children in 2003. My ex lives in Florida and I reside here in NJ with both the children. Neither kids are to happy with their mom ( on their own accord) of course. Mom signed a declaration to the state of florida transfering the divorce to the state of NJ so she can collect her pro rata share of the escrow from the sale of the home. She has now claimed taxes for both kids screwing up my return, I have court ordered tax benefits for both the kids.Now shes threatining me with court. Am I correct to acknowledge that she has to visit NJ to file any claim that she has with me regarding the children?

    • Since the children primarily reside in New Jersey, New Jersey has jurisdiction over the custody matter.

  • BG

    I have a question on what exactly i have to do . My husband and I are worried that if something were to happen to us while our son was young and both of us were deseased what would happen to our son .. We thought about who we wanted to have take care of our son (my husbands sister) and she has exepted this role .. How do we legalize this on paper so there will be no questions asked if this time ever came. I do not want my sister in law to have a hard time with fighting laws or people for my son . I just want to know my son is in a great home even after we are gone. We think this is the best for our son and NEED to make sure that this is what would happen if we were in this kind of situation.

    • You may want to consult with an estate planning attorney who can help ensure that your intentions are reflected in a will or other estate planning document. There are also online services that provide these forms.

    • Sarah

      I have joint custody of my daughter. Her father stopped me from moving, through the court, after he had already agreed to let us go. He is now planning on moving temporarily for work/school and not trying to take out 2 yr old daughter. He will be gone at least a year if not longer. Can I file for primary custody when he leaves and then move our daughter out of state?

  • Dawn McFarlane

    I am in a situation where my ex-husband and I have joint custody of my 7 year old son in GA. During the divorce, I had no money or job so I agree my son live with him. Out of 5 years my son has only lived with him for 1 year. I have lived at my ex-husbands house 2 different times with my son so that we could financially help each other. My son has sickle cell anemia and my ex has been collecting SSI for my son even when I wasn’t living there this last time and I didn’t know it. He gave none of it to my son. My son has gone to the same school for most of the time. Now that my ex has been giving me a hard time living at his house, I am going to move and take my son. He threatening that I can’t take him. It’s because he needs my son’s SSI money because he’s not working. I can’t prove that either. He doesn’t even spend any time with my son at home or never takes him to doctor’s appointments. I do everything for my son. How can I go about changing the custody situation that says my son is suppose to live with him because all this time, because my son only lives in his house if I’m there. My son doesn’t want to live with him or be around him. My ex also has been diagnosis with Bi-Polor and Manic Depression but does not take meds. What do I need to do.

  • Isabel

    I have sole physical and sole legal custody of my child. Could I get my childs passport without having my childs father involved?

  • Gabriela

    My daughters’ father and I have joint custody, which I was told by the judge means that he has decision making rights…but I have physical custody of her. He has visitations Wednesday 6:30pm to Thursday 6:30pm and the last weekend of the month. We live in New York but my fiancé recently moved to Florida in to work with his father who has a family owed business. I would like to move as well bc i feel that the quality of living would be better for my daughter. How should I go about this in court? We just went through child support and he is upset bc he feels that the amount that he has to pay is too much ($200 a week). I have tried to be civil with him but he refuses to cooperate with me and all we do is fight. i had to take him to court bc he tried to violate the custody agreement by taking our daughter out of state without my knowledge. He is very disorganized and usually shows up to court very unprepared. Also would it work on my behalf that I have an order of protection against him for harassment? Thank you for your advice!

    • If you have joint physical custody of your child you would have to file a motion with the court requesting primary physical custody of your child before you could move to Florida with her.

      • Wait a minute!

        Gabriela said, ” I have joint custody, which I was told by the judge means that he has decision making rights…but I have physical custody of …”
        Monica, you said, “If you have joint physical custody of your child you would have to file a motion with the court requesting primary physical custody of your child ….”

        Can you clarify on what Gabriela said? If it is JOINT LEGAL. What does she HAVE to file in order to move out of state?

  • AP

    I have joint custody with my son’s mother, her residence is the primary residence. In November she moved 2,000 miles away without our son, she gave me 30 days notice but refused to modify our parenting plan. I am now thinking about seeking sole custody and changing my residence to the primary residence and then devising a long distance parenting plan so our son can still see her. Do I have the right to seek sole custody for decision making? I would still want to consult her in major decisions (medical) but since it is difficult to get her signature, etc I would like to have sole custody so I can make decisions based on his current needs. What are my rights?

  • You should file a motion immediately requesting primary physical custody of your son. The longer you wait to file such a motion the less likely it may be granted.

    Joint legal custody means that both parents must make decisions about the child’s health, safety and welfare, which includes medical decisions and decisions about education. If you want to make these type of decisions without input or consent of mother you will also have to request sole legal custody.

  • Melissa

    I have 50/50 legal custody of my children (in the state of Alaska) and they have a doctor that has been treating them since they were born.

    I would like to continue to use that doctor, but their father does not. (He lives in a different state and the divorce was in Alaska)
    He has written a letter revoking his consent for this doctor to continue caring for my children.
    What are my legal rights?

    • Monica

      Since there is an order which provides that you share legal custody with the father, father must participate in decisions about your child’s medical care. If you want the ability to make these types of decisions without father’s input, you should file a motion requesting sole legal custody.

  • Lisa M.

    I have sole custody of my daughters. My ex has been going through criminal proceedings for the sexual abuse of my daughter from a previous marriage (his step daughter). What do I legally have to communicate with him about? He threatens to take me to court if I don’t update him on “how are they doing”. I really don’t care to deal with him at all. He has not seen them for two years due to his probation status, but is getting ready to start supervised visits. Should I be worried if I don’t cooperate with his inquiries that he could get shared legal custody? What is he entitled to know from me? I’m really not concerned about the shared physical custody because I dont think any court would grant that after what he did to my older daughter.

    • Mary

      I had a similar situation. My ex has supervised visits with my son and I don’t have to talk to him EVER. everything is done through the supervising agency and the visit supervisor. He gets no information from me at all.

      I would consult an attorney. My lawyer has advised me as to the validity of all threats and requests made by my ex. My ex has also filed for joint physical and legal custody since he’s been released from jail. It’s been 2 years and we’re still waiting for him to get his psychological evaluation as ordered by the judge.

      Good luck to you and your kids.

  • Sue

    I was just awarded full legal custody (becaues my x and I are incapable of making decisions together). My x was awarded physical custody on half the afternoons during the week including Wednesday afternoons which are 1/2 day every week and when most sports and after school activities happen.

    Since I have full legal custody, can I enroll my son in activities on Wednesdays even though he is with his father?


    • No, you should not impede on father’s court ordered custodial time without father’s consent or a court order.

  • Billy

    I live in the state of nj. The mother of my children who are twin boys 13 of age .. At my house and said she can’t handle them any more. I’m not sure of the custody rights… Years ago when they were 2 we had court orders joint custody. Since then she had had several dyfus cases opened on her and dyfus has taken them from her for drug use. They are living with me now for 3 months and ate very happy Jere with me. Thier mother rarely visits them. Gives me no money. What ate my rights I would lime to move to arazonia to a more quiet serene place for them cause they are emotionaly disturbed from her. And ate hyper active. I think the nice weather n surroundings would be good for them n the school systems are better. Also rent woild be alot cheaper I could provide them with a bigger place to live with thier own rooms. Right now they share one.. How woild I go about doing this… She currently has a dyfus case open on here . And they children have stated to dyfus abuse and neglect…. What can I do?

    • Monica

      According to the information you have provided, it seems that there is a court order which provides that you have joint physical custody. In order to move to Arizona you will need to file a motion in the family law court requesting primary physical custody. Documented evidence of drug abuse and neglect by mother will be helpful in getting your request granted. You should try to obtain documentation from DYFUS that you can provide to the family law court.

  • Karen

    I have Sole physical Custody and Shared Legal Custody. My child has been diagnosed with ADHD and needs treatment. Can I get the treatment without his consent?

    • Since you have joint legal custody, you will need to consult the other parent about medical decisions, including ADHD treatment.

  • Samantha Warren

    My ex-husband and I share joint physical custody, where our young son lives with me for 1 week and him for 1 week. When we went to court he had a lawyer and I did not, however now my ex-husband is engaged to a woman who herself has had her own children taken from her for overdosing on pain medication trying to kill herself. My ex-husband works from 6 in the morning til 5:30 pm Monday thru Friday and she is the one in charge of caring for my young son. I am scared but can not afford a lawyer, please help with your advice.

  • Hillary

    My soon to be ex husband and I share joint legal custody of our two children. The children live with me and I have final decision making authority if we cannot agree.

    Do I need to consult with my soon to be ex about things like talking with my childs teacher and asking the teacher questions regarding her education?

    Do I need to consult with him on matters like after school preparation for a specific test? Even if the after school prep does not affect his visitation time?

    My question is what is the definition of a “major decision”? My soon to be ex is basically contending that ANY decision whatsoever regarding the children must be discussed prior. “Hey EX – I cannot decide what color shoes to put our daughter in today..red or black…what do you think?” “Hey EX – our son would like to go outside and play…what do you think?”

    This is what I am dealing with….please point me in the right direction.

    • Tracy

      This is what im dealing with right now did you get advice ??? My lawyer says know he does not need to know every move we make ,but ex was pounding on my door today because my 15 year old turned his cell off and he believes he should have known he was going to stay the night at his friends house ….

  • Brandy

    I have sole custody in Texas. My divorce was granted in Texas. He has since moved to Oregon and has not paid child support in over a year. My questions are 1) I have to move to Louisiana for my new husbands work, can I do it without my ex’s permission 2) Since he is so out of the picture and is a convicted felon, can I have his rights taken away?

  • Kaysha

    I live in California. I am divorced. I have sole custody of our 10 yr old son. Father has visitation. I am re married. We are moving to New Mexico, mainly for financial reasons. I informed my ex husband of the move 11/09. We are moving 6/10. Tried to communicate with ex husband to make arrangements for visitations in the summer and on school breaks, he will not agree to anything. Can I move with our son? Do I need a move away order? What will happen when I move “without his permission”?

  • Michele

    My soon to be ex-husband left me and our daughter on July 4th, 2009 taking with him everything of value. He moved back to his home state. He then decided 10 days later that he should not have left. He got a really low paying job and a studio apartment, and moved back in September, 2009. When he came back he asked to see his daughter so we met at a mall. He argued with me to move in with him. I was not comfortable with that. He continued to argue with me while holding our daughter. I asked him to give me our daughter so that we could go home. He then proceeded to walk with our daughter towards the parking lot. I then grabbed my phone and told him that I was going to call 911. He forcebly tried to grab the phone from me while holding our daughter. The police came and told him he needed to leave. He proceeded to get into his car and drive away. He then parked his car on the other side of the parking lot and he ran for my car and drove away in it while the police were watching. He went to jail that night for three days and he plead guilty to absrtucting my call. I applied for a divorce and now he is asking for sole custody. I know that he is going to go to court and lie about me abusing our daughter. I have never abused her, but he likes to exaggerate and lie to get his way no matter how dumb it sounds. Could he win if he lies good enough? I have been her sole care provider.

  • Jennifer

    I have sole legal and physical custody of my child. Do I need to go to court to relocate out of state?

  • carcar1

    I live in Ga, and my wife moved out and within a week fielded for divorce. I believe she is seeing someone. We have a 18 mouth old daughter. Before she was with me her last boyfriend would drink and get angry, and the one before that was a drug dealer. I have never done any thing to her and I am a very good father. The first night she was gone she let me have our daughter, and that hole weekend when our daughter has never slept without her mother. She did fine though she is a tough little girl. She is now getting hate full towards me and now will not talk to me about any thing. She has filled for sole custody and I want either full or joint physical custody. She is a good mom, but I think right now she is not thinking clear or whats best for our daughter. My daughter is my world and I am not going to just give her up. What are my chances of getting either sole or joint physical custody. I already get her every weekend all day Monday, and I get her half the day on Wednesday and I see here every day through the week. The only thing she can say about me is that I revealed to her after she left that I had looked at adult websites, when I was by myself at home. I have never even got a ticket or never smoked. I have only drunk something a couple of times, but I have not drunk any thing after the baby was born.

  • Leah

    I am trying to get a passport for my daughter. my husband is in the army. my husband is not her father. i have custody of my daughter. but i am not sure which kind.the biological father refuses to sign a passport, but it may not be necessary. i just felt it was best to include him, though. my divorce and custody papers say that i have care, custody and control. but it doesnt say what kind of custody..does this mean i have sole custody? i have to have sole custody to obtain a passport without her father. and he only has visitation. it is set up every other weekend. but he doesnt usually get her but 2 days out of an entire month. please help me in what to do and what type of custody i have.

  • dtyarg1973

    My question involves guardianship in the State of: Maryland

    I’m just looking for some reassurance, my live in girlfriend’s ex is taking her to court over child custody (child will be 5yrs next month).

    Basically, her divorce decree states joint legal, physical. Her ex never fullfilled his part, only picking him up 2 nights a week, and every other weekend. The two nights a week he picked him up from daycare he didn’t keep him overnight, only for a couple hrs. Many, many times he wouldn’t even take him on the weekends he was supposed to, or pick him up the nights he was supposed to.
    Three months ago her ex moved out of state, 300 miles away, her ex has driven the 6hrs to pick the child up only once. Her and I, or her parents (they live in the same town as her ex) have taken the child the 6hrs to see his dad on approx 4-5 occasions in the past three months.

    Now he has a lawyer and wants 1 week a month, and 8-10 weeks during the summer.
    I don’t see how he can have him 1 week a month, the child is in pre-school and will be starting school next year. He is also currently involved in soccer on weekends. I also think 8-10 weeks is a little much in the summer as summer is only 12 weeks.

    Also, according to him, we need to meet him 1/2 way, should we????? would the courts rule that????? She sometimes works weekends and a 6 hr. drive would really put a strain on us. He moved on his own will, how can we be required to meet him 1/2 way??????

    My big question, should we be worrying ourselves over this?????????? Should she be fighting for sole custody, since the child has resided with her for probably 95% since they divorced 2 years ago.

    Any help is greatly appreciated.

  • brett swarthout

    i have a two year old and right now he lives with his mom but im worried about his well being she smokes pot and has hardly any income and she hangs out with a child rapist i am currently filling for custody do you think with this information i will be granted custody

    • taz


  • Cher Melnick

    Hi. My daughter just turned 4 years old – I seperated from her father when she was 18 months old. I left a very mean, cold, controlling and verbally abusive man. I’ve been seeing therapists ever since to help me deal with that and to help me cope with co-parenting with him. (Not easy!) We have Joint Legal Custody. I am currently the Primary Caretaker but he has very liberal visitation weekly. We are constantly in court about one thing or another or dealing with lawyers about the most benign things. He insists on an exact 50-50 schedule for her and will not stop until/unless he gets that. I am no expert, but my life experience with him tells me that he has some sort of problem, ie. Narcissistic Personality Disorder or something like that. Without giving you the pages and pages and pages of reasons and examples…I will simply say that he is excessively controlling, unable to control his anger, and he truly doesn’t have the abilty to understand anyone else’s feelings or points of view. Any conversation about our daughter always comes back to “What’s in it for him.” Anyway….I truly do want what is best for my daughter. I do feel that she should have a full relationship with her father and spend a lot of time with him — but his demands of 50-50% worry me. In your experience with this type of a situation, what are your thoughts? Thanks.

  • My ex-husband and I have joint legal custody of our 2 boys, 6 & 10. We live 50 miles apart in Florida. My ex has primary residential custody while I have visitation every other weekend, plus 2 days a week (no overnights because of the distance and school). My ex does not take care of any medical / dental / vision / therapy / activities, or anything else for that matter, for the boys (my 10 year old is autistic and needs alot of therapy that he won’t provide for either. I pay child support. Now my son needs to be admitted to a long -term facility and my ex won’t approve that either…it is a nightmare). I want to petition the court one motion at at time – the ultimate goal is sole responsibility for dental, vision, medical, therapy, psychiatric, etc. (did I say that right?) The family court judge is easily frustrated and narrow focus seems to work better with him….lots of experience with this judge! Also, my ex’s attorney likes to complicate things in court ALOT and muddy the water with unnecessary issues that are not relevant at all, thus angering the judge more and losing me in the process with all the legalese and extraneous banter. I am pro se and need to write my first motion for sole responsibility for dental and vision for the minor children. What is this type of motion called? Any tips to keep this motion from going astray in the courtroom?

  • Tommie

    I have a question. Me and my sons father signed a custody agreement that i printed off the internet we had it notarized. Now how do i go about getting it legalized so that i can allow my son to visit his father without his father trying to keep my son from me? I have been having problems with him and his family about the visitation of our child for two months now because they have threatened to have my children taken away from me i felt that i should not let him take my child because we have no custody agreement that has been legalized and in the state of texas who ever has the child in their home the other parent can refuse to let the child go with the other parent. Please help..

  • Jason

    I have a question about New Jersey law regarding physical and legal custody. The current order is that my ex and I share legal custody but she is the parent of primary residence. Now that the divorce is final, she wants to move our child in with her boyfriend of less than a year to a new shared residence. Is the fact that she is the parent of primary residence enough for her to say that she can decide where the child lives without my input or is this the life decision that we both should be making together?

  • haven

    If i could please get some advice i would appreciate it. I have had my 4 year old and was awarded sole legal and physical custody with no visitation allowances for her biological father, he does pay support. I allowed them to meet and spend some time together over a year ago he saw her 1 to 2 times a week for a couple weeks and then dropped from her life. Over a year later now he wants to see her again but has not petitioned the courts. We have moved on and my fiancee and I are discussing adoption but are unsure of how to approach the situation.I am wondering how difficult it will be to petition for him to terminate any rights he might have and move forward. thank you in advance.

  • Holly

    My ex and I have joint legal custody but he purposely takes him to the doctor for no reason to rack up medical bills since I’m court ordered to pay a larger percentage due to my income from what my insurance doesn’t cover. Also, he’ll make appointments just for a reason to see me since I refuse to see him otherwise. Is it possible to go back to court and have the custody arrangement changed so he doesn’t have rights to take him to the doctor without me?

  • rebe

    i have a question about my case, never married had a child was not involved with the father he took me to court and tried to get full custody anyway he had my sons name legally changed on the birth certificate and is now threatening me if i don’t use the name i don’t want to use the nmae i have sole physical custody . What are my rights?

  • Cherill

    My ex boyfriend and i have joint custody of our son who is one years old. im planning to move out state with my husband who is joining the Air Force which i think is a good idea and will benefit my son living and future. I have talk with my son’s father and seems like he will agree & sign legal documents. The problem is my son is too young to travel and i was thinking we should not set a definite travel plans til he gets older cause it would get very expensive & it would depend on my job schedule. But til then i would inform him about every doctor visit, every activity his son does, he can talk to his son& on webcam everyday. How can i convince him this plan would work and is the best?

  • meagen

    well i just had a child support hearing on wednesday and my son was in my posestion and he took him now he is trying to say he has been with him the whole time and file for custody what do i do

  • pedro pereira



    • The fact that you are not married to mother will not prohibit you from seeking an order for custody/visitation. If you and mother ever cease living together, you should file a motion right away for custody/visitation in the county where you live.

  • Dee

    I am a single mother of a 9year old boy. His father lives in Costa Rica. He has never been here to the states. I have traveled 2 times 1st time was for 8 weeks and he just left us alone to fend for ourselves. the 2nd time I brought him and he could not even bother to come see us. He is not on the birth certificate and now is threatning that he will take him from me. How do I go about filing for full sole and legal custody and do you know if his will be able to fight this from Costa Rica?

  • casey

    My son is 6 yrs old his father has only seen him once, i just recently finally got a court date for child support which he has never paid. Now he has filed for full custody, he lives in Ny while my son and I live in Al he told me he has a court date and I have to be there June 30 can he file for custody even though we do not live in NY?

    • He can file a motion for custody and/or visitation, but he should have filed it in the county where you and your son live. You should consult with a lawyer regarding the NY action.

  • Lydia

    I’m a step mom of to our 17 y.o. daughter. We have had physical custody since she was 8. Lots of problems with biological mom and with step daughter. Legal, physical, mentally and emotional. After protecting her all these years, at her own and law guardian’s request, from her biological mom, she ran away and settled at her biological moms. She ran away a couple times before because she was being punished for skippkng school, lying, no longer cooperative or following rules, abusive, physical, etc. but this time won’t come home. When, We found out she went to her biological mothers house, we tried to get her to come home and called the police. We tried convincing the bological mom to send her home but she won’t. Biological mom won’t bring her home and step daughter won’t come home on her own and the police have been useless as have the courts. we even filed a PINS and it was worthless. Our stepdaughter’s law guardian said she can stay with her mom as we have Joint Legal Custody, with us being the primary physical custodian, so she can stay with either parent. We are certain her biological mother only wants her for financial reasons as she hasn’t paid her share of expenses or much support over the years due to unemployment and medical issues. She has already been demanding money and we already agreed and settled at court an emergency support order. We have also recently found out that our step daughter is now engaged and may also be pregnant. She has not been to school and refuses to go. Her biological mother says she is enrolled in a GED program but we did not give permission for either. We have been told and recently have decided it’s best to not go to trial again to get her back because she is 17 and can decide herself. She won’t live where there are rules or consequences, self stated several times, won’t go to school and won’t work. We are going to court in two weeks to finalize custody issues. We are considering giving full custody/sole custody to the biological mother. The main reason for this is when she ran away the last time, we said she couldn’t come back unless she agreed to counselling and would take her medication to control her behavior. She refused and we let her stay with her maternal grandparents who quickly filed for custody. 4 months later, she wanted to come home so we went back to court and let her with the arrangement of counselling, medications and good behavior.: We were warned by the Law Guardian on two occasions, having joint custody means we have to take her back in our home and DSS would get involved if we refused to take her back. So even though she refused after she came home to live up to the agreement, then ran away, we are still legall obligated to take her back again if she changes her mind again. Our backs are against the wall. I have been fighting Cancer and it’s surgical, etc., aftermath for several years. I have been physically assaulted by my stepdaugther and we both know she shouldn’t come back. If we give biological mom sole custody will we be forced to take her back to live with us if she wants to come home. We are scared and no one has answers. We can’t afford a lawyer. There is a lot more to this story. Years of counselling, medication, court battles to protect our stepdaughter, yet the court let her stay with the one person who is responsible for the majority of her issues. What can we do to protect our step daugther and ourselves. What rights do we have. What will happen if we give up full/sole custody? Help us if you can.

  • Dennis

    my girlfriend is pregnant and she says that everything is up to her, all of the decisions about our child, if me or my family will be involved. i want to be involved as much as possible i know we are both young but i still want to be a big part of my childs life. and i want my child to meet my side of the family. but she doesnt want him or her to meet them she says it is her decission if they are involved or not, and she also says it is her decission if i am involved or not. it seems like she doenst want me to be apart of my childs life at all when he or she is born because i dont know how to do things like change a diaper, which i know i will need to learn but i will learn this she doesnt seem to believe that i will learn these things or doesnt seem to believe in me at all, and doesnt seem to support me when i support her as much as i can. im behind her with what ever she does. ive tried to see if she would at least listen to things i have to say but she doenst she refusses to listen to me even tho it is our child. im rambeling on but i guess all i was wondering is if has the right to do that and make all those decissions on her own about the baby, the family and my involvment on her own?

    • helen

      your best bet if she still refuses to allow you contact after the baby is born is go immediately to the courts and file for paternity test & custody. show your involved and want to be there and if you are serious get your life straight and ducks in a row.

    • You should file a motion in the family court in your county. Your motion should request visitation with the child.

  • Tomas

    How can I in the state of New Jersey get full custody or Primary Parent of my 4 month old son? I Don’t feel that his mother’s intentions are in the best interest of my son. I’m 23 with a full-time Job and she is younger then I with a part-time job. She has the WIC program and filled for food stamps the day before filling a complaint against me. I feel that Having to shell out so much and still be 100% responsible for him on my end isn’t in the best interest of my son. I’ll be unable to provide for him on my end and keep a roof over my head if I’m bled dry. I don’t want to lose my son…

  • Tammy

    My 6 year old neice lives with me in Florida I support her, take her to school and doctors appointments how do I get legal custody of her if both parents are willing to sign a custody agreement how would I go about getting this done?

  • annie

    I have full legal and physical custody of my 14 year old son. He went to court last year and said he was scared of his Dad and why (mental and emotional abuse with some to close for comfort physical situations). When the judge took away my ex’s time with him, my ex said he wanted to give up legal custody too. Now my ex is pushing to communicate with my son’s therapist while beginning to hassle my son via texts and emails. Does the therapist have to speak to my ex because he is a parent too?

  • miranda

    I am a single mother of two young boys. (2 years and 8 months) my 8month old’s father is having a lawyer draw up an agreement so that we dont have to fight it out in court for custody.. i want to be able to leave the state with out his permission. do i need sole physical and sole legal or just one of them?

    • It would be best to have both sole legal and physical custody, but at the very least the agreement should reflect that you have sole physical custody.

      • David

        My daughter is two months old she lives with her mother, she only allows me to see my daughter on her doctors visits and her WIC appointments. I tried to work out a schedule but she refuses to work with me. Can I ask the judge for Shared physical and legal Custody ?

  • Earl

    My wife has sworn out a false police report in order to obtain a temporary order of protection along with that temporary custody has been awarded (I’m assuming out of erring on the side of caution or just in case). Now I’m the bad guy before we even get into a real custody case and custody is pre’established due to a lie. She wants to move to Va. when this is done where we came from 3 years ago, I want to stay. She started internet cybersex and our marriage quickly declined to the point where I am now. I have worked hard, but now I’m unemployed and looking like a bum now….a wife beater with no job. I have an attorney and haven’t gotten anywhere in 3 months time so far with all this pre hearing and nonsense that takes forever in the courts (No arrest, but still have not concluded this temporary issue yet). What is the likelihood of her obtaining custody to the point of being able to take my only child away from me. I’m 45 and this is my first child. What can I do to make this come back around to my favor as I have done nothing as she claims….I have a couple speeding ticket in the past 10 years, but nothing else period! I’m at a loss for being set up for the kill here!

    • Earl

      This is an update: Due to the fact that we moved up here on the premise of her wanting to be an at home mother that she wasn’t afforded the opportunity of during her first marriage, this set the stage for what would eventually dictate what happened to me in the end. We moved here to upstate NY from VA beach into a very affordable home that I had 80% complete and used the proceeds from her condo to finish the remaining 20%. Now at home with a sub 300 dollar 15 year mortgage we could afford a 1 income lifestyle so she could be an at home mother like we both wanted. Life changed and she became bored and with my working longer distances and being away more frequently she grew bored and felt that I was inattentive to her needs. Cybersex followed and then I found out and everything went to hell and stayed there unfortunately. So this is the update. She filed her falsified report, gained the advantage on yet another level because I was already in a non-primary caregiver role by the courts definition which is a hands down losing situation when filing for primary custody……it ain’t happening unless I could show some serious neglect or other issues that she knew I could not. She knew what she was doing and set me up big time, but she failed on this level for the one person reading this out there in a unlikely similar situation….you could benefit. Because we were here for 3 years, routine had been established and the courts agreed. She has to remain in NY with my child and cannot move beyond 40 miles from the center of town anywhere else unless I agree or the courts are shown good cause. Yes I can. My problem is work up here……its extremely unstable in construction and my attorney tells me that I can work up to 6/8 months away out of state if need be……temporary is okay she says. I may test the waters soon if I can’t find work. I was awarded 3 weekends a month, 2 weeks during the summer, every other major holiday and anything else we can agree upon……….which right now is a big fat nothing. This was not a court ordered visitation, this is what I told her I would not settle for less, take me to court. She did not want her nude photos being shown for evidence is all I can think of or the added court costs of a trial. She is still hateful and I suspect alienation with my child as she was doing this prior to having me removed from the home. I’m paying 17% plus addons or 188.98 plus health insurance, 70% of all copays, I’m unemployed and she refuses to pay the mortgage that is in my name for the house she lives in so I have it forsale, but in the mean time I’m paying CS, mortgage, copays and this is out of 383 weekly unemployment. I have about 100 left after the whole month literaly…no rent money, no food, nothing……I’m at the mercy of my parents at 45. If your young and reading this, be glad you have alot of years once its over, I’m just starting at 45. This really sucks people when I did this for her and my daughter. Maybe one day I’ll see some way of understanding it all better. Good luck to all those out there seeking an answer as I did, there isn’t always one, I can tell you that!

  • Linda

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we have a 3 year old son. During this time he has been arrested twice for domestic violence and is currently on probation for it, he is also a heavy drinker and mj smoker. He is threating me that if i leave him i can not take our son with me. I want out of this realtionship but I dont leave cause I dont have any place to go and I am scared that If i leave he will try to hurt me or our son. What should I do. We live in Nashville TN

  • Liz

    My fiance’s ex has custody over his daughter because she accused him of hitting her. Although the case was dimissed for lacking of evidence a restraint order was left on her and his daughter. My question is how to you go about requestion custody (joint if sole is not possible.) His daughter is constantly telling me about her mother not wanting to work and doesn’t spend time with her and doesn’t want to cook or play with her because she’s too busy looking for a boyfriend. She is made to look after her baby brother and would like to be with her father because he always made time for her. This breaks my heart, but my fiance doesn’t think he can get custody. We are in the middle off filling out the motion in order to request this. Any suggestions?

    • Earl

      To Liz: I’m no attorney, but am hoping I hear back…..Your’s is similar to mine in that a lie was used to obtain initial custody which from what I am reading, once happens is nearly impossible to reverse as the judge likes to have the childs interest or home remain intact. Bad or good, they only look at things with blinders on. I have my R/O still in effect and I doubt it will change either or custody as she has positioned herself into a postion that looks like a saint before the courts eyes by working at the daycare where my daughter attends. You are fortunate that the children are coming of age where they can influence the courts on where they want to live. This is an avenue you should research. I am just beginning my ordeal with a bad mother painting a false image of herself. Its something I’ll unlikely win given her cunning and wit. Bad people do win unfortunately! Our society is the result of her kind!

      • Liz

        To:Earl Wow, I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I’m sad to say that we unfortunately didn’t get any change in custody. But, the Judge did explain that it was not definite and that he is aware of constant visits from social services and my step daughter always complaining to the school counselors about her mothers negligence. She is being watched more closely so now we are just doing what we can to make her visits as happy as possible. My fiance started out with no contact, then the grandmother enforced her grandparent rights were I attended every visit so as to help maintain a bond between daughter and father. Last court date he filed for visitation and was granted supervised through his mother, but she petitioned I not be allowed during the visit or son. This was granted bc there was no record that I attended the previous visits with the grandmother. In two weeks we are now going back to see about removing the supervised visitations, allowing me back in with my son and having overnight visits. Wish us luck!

  • Kristy Works

    My husband’s son is now living in Maine. My husband is military and the child was born out of wedlock while he was deployed and the army had DNA test done to prove it was his child. When he returned from deployment the child was living in Colorado and went to court there to do name change, bc name, and visitation rights and the court found him in neglect due to being deployed, and said that he’d had to be in states for a whole year before they’d allow it back in court. The child now lives in Maine and my husband as of March has been in the states for a year now, we live in Kentucky. The mother of the child will not allow us visitation, only phone calls when she wants to. Husband has paid child support since day one along with health insurance, life insurance and dental insurance on the child. He is 6 years old now. What do we need to do to be able to see the child? What is Maine’s laws and statues on this situation?

  • warren

    My wife and I are getting a divorce and we have a 16 month old boy. I’m requesting joint physcial custody and my wife is requesting sole physical custoday and would only allow me to see him for 3 hours 3 days a week. What are my chances of getting joint physcial custody of my 16 mth old son? I’m no Psychologist, what would be the best arrangement for our son? What would a judge order for a 16month old?

  • KMR

    I live in CA. I have a 15 year old son. His father and I split when he was 3 and we remained good friends. We had joint custody and made decisions together well. 3 years ago, my son and his father had an argument and my ex kicked him out. My son came to live with me full time. I waited a year to see if things would work out but they did not. My ex and I agreed to me having full legal and physical custody and that he and our son could work out whatever visitation they wanted. While my ex and my son are now friends, they do not wish to be “father and son” While we had joint custody, we used my ex’s address for school as it was in a good district, our son had lots of friends there and my office was in the school boundary line so it just made good sense. Now that I have full custody, the school district is requiring me to do an interdistrict transfer. I applied for the transfer and while I was granted enrollment in the district, he was approved for a different school that is clear across town. This will prevent my son from being with his friends, having adequate transportation (since the school is not near my work) and it will be harder for he and his father to continue working on their relationship. If we modified our custody agreement through the court to include verbiage that the non custodial parents address should be used for school residency, will the school have to honor it?

  • Janelle

    I have a question.
    I have sole legal custody, and joint physical custody of my child in Arizona. I am moving to the east coast in two weeks. The ex and I have been working on a written agreement where we could both come to a decision, except today he told me that I would have to drop any arrears (~$10,000), or he would not sign the paper, hoping to blackmail me!
    I read in the Arizona statutes that if I have sole legal custody I can move, “temporarily” as long as he has a certified letter of my intent to do so.
    I am confused on my custody though, since I have sole legal and joint physical. What is the difference?
    Our order is for him to have our child on weekends, no overnights, and he rarely picks her up more than twice a month, doesn’t keep the child for longer than a few hours at a time (instead of the allotted 12 hours), and pays less than 1/3rd of his Court Ordered support, and he refuses to give me his address for this letter to be sent.
    What, if anything, do I need to file in order to keep this deadbeat from barring our move?

  • Eb1212

    I have a question me & my wife just got married. My wife and her mom have joint legal & physical custody of my wife’s daughter. I’m not the biological father but I’ve been there since she was born. Can I adopt her with if my wife wants me to even her motther doesn’t want me to?

  • Earl

    EB1212……you had better think long and hard as much as you think your marriage may last and it very well could. When you adopt a child, you will pay child support should things go south in the marriage. Before you can adopt though, the paternal father has to consent fully to relinquishing his rights to the child. Better think long and hard about this! The honeymoon ain’t even over yet! You can still be a “fatherly figure” and play the same important role without doing this, there is very little advantage to such a step you’re trying to take. I myself was presented the same scenario on my first marriage. Well, I’m in the midst of divorce #2 now. Think about it, you have the rest of her life to adopt her! Give it a five years and see if things aren’t a little more established……….listen to me, I’m telling you the truth dude!

  • Tera

    I have sole legal and physical custody of my daughter. There is no stipulation in our divorce decree, saying that I can’t move, out of county, out of state. I have given my ex-husband 45 days notice that I will be moving to NM with my 2 older children from a previous marriage and our child that we had together. He is filed an emergency petition to get custody of our daughter as well as relief, how can the court allow this? What will the court do?

  • Nani

    My husband and I recently separated on June 1, 2010. He’s having an affair with his old friend who lives in LA. We married in my country, Jakarta, Indonesia.
    Now I live in Maryland for almost 3.5 years. I have been married for 12 years last month February. I have two children aged 11 years and 10 years.

    I wanted to ask you as follows :
    1. Does the joint account is still there even though we have separated? because my husband still want my salary every month into the joint account. I can not accept it.

    2. Me and my kids just as dependent in my husband tax payments. But every tax return that he received, he never tells me. Everytime I asked him, he told me “Because he said it was my money”. But he enter my name and the children as dependent, in which he will be relief in the payment of that tax. Do I as a wife and children were entitled to tax refund even though as a dependent?

    3. Am I entitled to pension from my husband, because I have been married more than 10 years?

    4. Is there a draft separation agreement that I can take as an example, because it was all very new to me.

    5. What is the procedure that should apply for Child Support, whether the child support paid on time for both parents began to be physically separated? or child support paid on time there is a decision for divorce is final?

  • Nani

    My husband wants us to share legal custody and shared physical custody of the children, but he told me that she would move to LA in October 2010.

    Now we’re trying to make seperation agreement, but he always changed his mind about something that we agreed earlier. Two months ago he asked me to return to my country, Indonesia and allowed to bring my children home, and we agree to send the kids to international school, and I can continue my work in Indonesia. But a month later, my husband changed his mind. He did not allow me to go home to my country with my children. He asked me to choose one between two children which I will take it back to Indonesia. I told him I could not separate my children and what exactly you want from me.

    My husband does not want us to go to court, but I am worried because he always changed his mind. I am afraid that if he changed his mind again and our agreement will not be quickly finished and I was tired with all this.

    What should I do?

  • Nani

    At the time we are still separate rooms, but we’re still in one house. My husband had three times gone to LA to meet his girlfriend. And he admitted that he had slept with the woman.

    At the time my husband went to LA he did not tell me and the kids. My daughter asked her father, and I do not know where her father left. My daughter called her grandmother and asked about her father, then she wants her grandmother to call her father, because we’ve tried to call my Husband but no answers.

    We live in Maryland. Which according to Maryland law the seperation is that if one’s husband or wife is not physically stay longer in one house. But my husband still go back and live in our house after coming home from LA. This happened before my husband was moving out of the house physically on the date of June 1, 2010.

    I wanted to ask is;
    1. Do you think what he did to my children and me could be called neglected his family ?

    2. Is my husband entitled to Share Legal Custody and shared physical custody, after what he has done above? because my husband did not want to go to court. And he told me that in October he’ll be moving to LA.

    Thank you,

  • Kristi

    If I have joint legal custody and full physical custody, what am I required by law to notify my ex of? He is under the impression I need to notify him of every day to day activities, where we go, what we do, and that he has a say in them and even when my kids have sleepovers at their friends house. I notify him of school stuff, dr appointments, sports activites, anything that is drastic to them. And not to mention when he does have them for his visitation time he hardly has them they are with his parents or they are returned after few hours at a time and rarely if ever stay the night.

  • mark

    my ex and I have 2 boys ages 9 and 5. I have joint legal custody but she has sole physical custody. My boys come to my house every friday night and go back to there mothers house on sunday nights. My ex informed me that she will be moving 4 hrs away but in the same state (Minnesota) that we currently live in. Is it her right to do this? Also we have been divorced for over 3 years now and the youngest boy is starting school this year. What are my chances of getting more of a 50/50 split in parenting time? I am a great father with no criminal record and never ever any history of abuse or anything of that matter.

  • Jlyssia

    My 10 month old son’s father informed me that he wants to file for joint custody when my son turns 1. I am currently recieving child support & we do have a visitation order. We live in NJ, although diffrent counties. How would the custody change affect my rights to our son? Would he basically only get more visitations? We do currently have a big fight about long vs short hair. Would I lose the right to make even that discision? What happens when we are deadlocked on ANY particular issue?

  • Shiella

    I live in New Mexico, my ex is currently residing in Georgia. We have together a 16yr-old and 11yr-old, both daughters. We have joint custody – where I am listed in the Parenting Plan as the “Primary Physical Custodian”. According to the parenting plan, he has a right to 8weeks visitation each summer. In 2008 my ex separated with his then girlfriend and moved home to Georgia. Since that time, he has failed to pay child support, as well as keep a job. He is currently living with his mother and 6 other family members in a three-bedroom home. Despite my fears of allowing my 16yr-old to visit – I permitted her to go. Within 24hrs of her arriving in Georgia, I was told she would not be returning. Both my daughter and my husband have told me that she is 16-years-old and has a right to make that decision on her own. He has since registered her for school and insists that he will not put her on the plane if she refuses to go.
    After discussing this with the parent coordinator, I am even more discouraged that my daughter will return home. The parent coordinator told me that I should allow her to stay and “try it out” and that I may be better off knowing what the issues would be if I “forced” her to come home.
    I have been told to file a motion for full custody. I don’t want full custody – I want my children to know their father. What can I do to make sure my daughter gets on that plane?

  • needin help

    HI, I have joint legal custody with ex husband. Currently due to unemployment and losing home I have an opprotuinty to move out of the state of New Jersey and back home to Virginia. This way I can get my life back on track and be a better mom for the children I’m just afraid of ex filing for sole custody while I’m trying to get life togther for the children. What needs to be done on my behalf to make sure this doesnt happen and they can come visit me without any problems from him.

  • Louise

    I have sole legal AND physical custody of two children ages 7 and 11 in MN. I want to move to CA. It is last minute and I’d have to move in a few weeks. Their dad has seen them twice in the past two years and he has never exercised his supervised visitation rights since we have been divorced 4 yrs ago. Do I have to notify him if I move? Do I need permission from the court?

  • Ron

    I live in NY and I have joint custody and share placement of my 6 month son. His mother get $400 a month from me for support. She also is getting SSI cause his heart surgery. She also gets WIC. I dont get any thing. I been there from day one and always will be. She cheated on me with a convicted fellon and even admittied in court he was for dwi and cocain sales. SSI will not give me any info how much she is getting and I dont get any of it. How is this fair and possible. She also quit her job cause she don’t need to work any more from all the free income from me and my son. Please help me with some advise.

  • rob

    We all need to keep complaing to our goverment ………………not saying a word and doing nothing about it, this will keep going on. Write senators and congress. Keep the word out and bother them. There is a growing problem in the united state on famiy and only our childern are going to be effected on it all. There is no more a word called FAMILY its MONEY now……. How can i make money and thats it………..we need to ge the word out…

  • Traci

    My husband and I have Joint legal and physical custody of his four year old son. We get visitation with him every other weekend from 6pm on fridays till 6pm on sundays and every tuesday nights from 6pm till wendsday nights at 6pm. We also get him the first two weeks of the summer months being June, July, and August. His mother has just informed us that she has enrolled him into preschool and that we are responsible for taking him when he is in our care. This will be taking alot of our time away from him and we hear that since no child is required to go to preschool its our decision whether for him to attend during or time…is this true? What should we do about the situation?

  • Eric

    I live in Maine and have shared parental rights and responsibilities of my daughter. Last year I went to court to modify our previous order because I moved a few towns from my previous address. I originally had my daughter M-F during the school year and her mother had her on 3 out of 4 weekends F after school until M morning. During the summer the schedule changed to one week at a time with each parent…My order was for my daughter to attend the school in the town that I live in since I had her during the school year. After a stressful mediation, in which the mother wanted Full Custody I finally agreed that the mother could have our daughter M-F during the school year. The summer would remain the same. The mother quickly agreed.

    Now I find that the mother is now has moved and is living in another town altogether. I was not informed as to her relocation…which is stated in our order that I am supposed to be informed. Also, my daughter is still enrolled in the old school in the town that neither parent lives in. Which means that tuition would have to come into the picture. None of this was mentioned to me by the mother. Last years arrangement in court to keep the child in the same school was meant for stablilty as per the mother. So that is why I agreed. Now I find that the mother has moved without any notification and is now lying by withholding information from the school, me and the court. What can I do to address this issue?

  • blanca

    My question is it possible that i can obtain sole custody of my daughter if her father and I were never married.. we lived together for 2 yrs…he was present at the birth and his name is on her birth certificate… i have printed a custody agreeement which states i will have sole legal and physical custody, he will have visitation rights and will pay a reasonable amount for child support but im wondering if we can legalize that and how.

  • Ralyn

    I have both physical and legal custody of my son and his father has court ordered visitations. The problem is that he has never followed the visitations orders and doesn’t really see his son. What was agreed upon durong mediation is also not being complied to by the father. At this time I am wanting to relocate from CA to TX do to financial difficulties. Since the father does not have a stable place to live nor a job I have been unable to get him served for child support. My case for that has been opened for over a year. He does not provide any support for our son. What is my right as the custodial parent to relocate? Thank you for any information.

  • shayna

    we have 2 children with joint legal custody and their father having primary physical custody. he moves them to his mothers house if they get into any trouble without telling me about the problems. and he doesnt allow them to see me or talk to me whenever he pleases. he is a physically and mentally abusive man he has been convicted of domestic violence upon me and also has violated a restraining order with a violent act when we parted almost 12 years ago. hes now begun to treat my children bad. my 15 year old daughter has been kicked out of her middle school district a year ago for fighting a few times. this year was charged with gang affiliation along with getting kicked out of her high school district. he sent her to her grandmothers without telling me anything as usual,and then doesnt allow her to call me.she always has to sneak calls to me. i am very concerned regarding her legal issues , because when he takes her to court he always pays the fine–NOT FOR HER BENEFIT in any way! for his because he does not want to deal with court or any law enforcement…in the meanwhile she is not learning about the consequences of her actions–VERY IMPORTANT LESSONS IN LIFE. he also contributes to the gang lifestyle.i must mention that my son was moved to his grandmothers a few months back ass well without any notice or discussion—because he was put on the local police database for TAGGING—so yes, no learning lesson for him either–he shipped him off and put him on homeschooling. also my daughter is currently a runaway for about 1month now–NOT because she wants to party and have a great time, but because she wants to be with me.i have been in contact with her almost daily,thank God! so please help– how can i gain control of this situation and help my children while there is still a chance?

  • Hanna

    My exhusband and I have joint legal care and he has primary physical care. He recently deployed to Iraq and wants to leave the children with his parents. Do his parents have legal ground to keep the kids away from me or am I able to keep my children in my care for the duration of the deployment? He doesnt want me to have primary care and wants his parents to have it. what are the consequences if I do not return the kids to his parents after my scheduled visitation? He is currently out of the state and will not return for at least a year.

  • erica

    what if you are awarded sole custody and the other parent already has a child support order against him and he is in the rears on support will the judge grant him the right to claim one of the kids on his taxes even though he is in the rears a couple of thousand?

  • Ashley

    I have a 5 ur old son he’s father and I have been divorced for about 3 yrs he has visitation every other weekend. He doesn’t pay he’s child support only when it’s convenient for him and it’s alway less then what he is suppose to pay he can’t keep a job and he’s jobless for a good couple months before look for another. I have suspected him of doing drugs while our son is around him my son has said something to me about this and he is always around differnet girls and sleeping at different houses on the weekends he has our son. He lies to me consistently. Is there anything I can do to protect my son from him or have him do supervised visitations with him? If so is there away to do this with a lawyer?

  • Diane

    The father of my two minor children has left the state where we reside once again. I have to turn myself into the courts to serve time on a misdemeanor DUI charge for about 20 days. I want to leave the children with my sister as this is who we live with. My son is in school and I do not want to unroot him or my daughter again. What can I do to prevent my ex from taking my children while I am away? We are not married.

  • Sonia

    My brother is undergoing some legal matters with the mother of his children and has currently been put on a restraining order along with the family (my dad and myself), a court hearing is set for next week and as the aunt, if he loses visitation rights and custody rights, will I still be able to see my niece and 2 nephews? If so, how do I go about getting these visitation rights for me only? Please help, I have been supported and have provided for them when they had no one or nothing and now because of the conflict between my brother (the father) and his girlfriend (the mother), my dad and me are being penalized for it.

  • Krissand

    I live in Michigan and I have sole physical coustody of my daughter but also share joint legal custody with her father.He has warrants out for his arrest an he also has a durg problem. He don’t pay child support and he hardly sees her. Is there anything i can do? Is there a way to prove him unfit? I have tried to get a show cause hearing but when the last one was sent he did not live at the address they had on file now he lives there again but I was told by Friend of the court they could not send one cause he has not changed his address with the post office.

  • trish

    Me and my sons father were never married, he doesnt have a job. He wants to see him but i havent gone to court yet for child support or for visitations.

  • S.M

    I’m reading all these ?’s and comments and I am a bit worried. My ex and I have a daughter. He has her once a week and every other weekend. The decree still says “joint custody” per his request. Our daughter has had to go to the Dr. on several occasions that were quite serious. My ex tells me “no” everytime I need to take her to seek medical care. I have taken her without his consent and frankly I am scared for her to be with him because he will not seek medical attention for her if she needs it. He has refused to give me any insurance info. She has had surgery, she has migraines that are so bad she ends up in the ER from dehydration due to vomiting. My ex refuses to pay his part of medical because I didn’t ask him if it was okay to seek care for her. As a Mother, I feel if I need to seek medical attention for her I should do so for her safety. It sounds like I am wrong after reading other peoples stories. What should I do? One example: Our child was seen 3 times for a mole on her back. She was 11. she is 12 now. I had 3 Doctors tell me they were concerned and it needed to be removed. I did just that. My ex refuses to pay. I would think that if 3 Doctors tell me to remove it, then I should. My ex thinks I was wrong. Since I take her to the Dr. I am considered the “responsible party.” Is there any hope for me?? Can a Dr’s request justify my attempts to seek medical help for our daughter?

  • SM: You have good right for concern and when it comes to medical you have an equal right to care and if she’s going to an ER you have clear right to be notified and attend. Sounds like you need to get an attorney as much as it may sound costly, do it! You can’t afford to play around with life threatening situations and the judge will make it clear to him that he needs to cooperate and joint custody involves a parent willing to take care of their child properly! GET your ASS TO THE ATTORNEY! my .02

  • TM

    I have a custody order that’s been set for the past four years, I am now moving 22 miles close to my son dad and he and his wife want to take me to court for the 3rd time to get shared custody. and split our son up. He is now 10 years old. I dont agree to any changes as our son has never lived with him. Will a judge change this order?

  • Angela

    My ex and I have shared parenting where the kids are with him from Saturday to Sunday at 6. On wednesdays from 5 to 8:30. And one overnight during the week. He is now remarried. The kdis reside with me for school, he lives 45 minutes out of th ekids school district. He now wants 2 days during the week or even everyother week. What is his chances of getting that? Our children are 5, 9 and 11. For the first 1 1/2yrs of the divorce I took care of the kids because he was givingin up alot of his time to fly out of state to see is current wife. My concern is the kids being 45 min from school that it will be hard on them. What are my chances for him not to receive the time that he wants? and Also can he use emaisl that I sent two years ago against me? even if they are not pretaining to the kids?

  • J

    My husband has an 18-month old daughter. We live in MN, the mother & child moved to IA over a year ago (about 4 hrs away). He signed a recognition of parentage after he took the paternity test when she was 3 months old (which is the first time he heard about his daughter). We have a child support order, which he adheres to. He paid the back amount (the amount from birth til the order went into effect) already, too. He gets only 12% parenting time credit even though we have her at least 13 days/month but no set schedule, and never any notice as to when we have her. And if we want to keep her during the week, her mom demands daycare $$ (even though daycare is part of what his monthly child support covers). We also have to drive 8 hrs roundtrip to pick her up and then again to drop her off. She moved there before the court was involved, but they do not consider his trips to get her as an expense. He would like joint physical and legal custody. Is this possible due to our distance? And since we are currently going through the state of MN, but the child & mother have lived in Iowa over a year, which state has jurisdiction?

  • Diana

    Question: A parent has lost all cusotdy of a child but must supply child support and health insurance, can the medical bills place his name as the responsible party for the bill?

  • jlm

    So my ex husband and i divorced back in 2004 and i gained full custody an he got standard visitation from 5 on friday to 5 on sunday every other weekend… going forward he never had anything to do with her he was always out of town working or having parties so his dad (her grandfather) was the one always taking care of her on his weekends.. well in 2008 i found out that he got a 15 year old pregnant him being 23 they also married right before their child was born… so without notice i choose to move 2000 miles away with my daughter we had lived in the area for 14 months before i let her see her father again on xmas break 2009… i then never got her back and am still flying back an forth to fight for custody again… before i let her leave he had filed some papers without my knowledge and lied about the information that he had given to the courts and they granted him full custody which again i never had any knowledge of these papers until after the fact that she got there or i would have never let her go.. what should i do? is it legal for him to gain the rights of her even though she hasn’t resided in that state for the last 14 months? in the last court hearing he was told that he isn’t aloud to be working out of state and my daughter has given me infromation that he is never there and that he is working out of state again ? so she stays with his wife which is now only 18 …. i am tore on what to do and i just need some advice on how to get her back. please help

  • jlm

    So my ex husband and i divorced back in 2004 and i gained full custody an he got standard visitation from 5 on friday to 5 on sunday every other weekend… going forward he never had anything to do with her he was always out of town working or having parties so his dad (her grandfather) was the one always taking care of her on his weekends.. well in 2008 i found out that he got a 15 year old pregnant him being 23 they also married right before their child was born… so without notice i choose to move 2000 miles away with my daughter we had lived in the area for 14 months before i let her see her father again on xmas break 2009… i then never got her back and am still flying back an forth to fight for custody again… before i let her leave he had filed some papers without my knowledge and lied about the information that he had given to the courts and they granted him full custody which again i never had any knowledge of these papers until after the fact that she got there or i would have never let her go.. now as i have been traveling back and forth for court he has been told that he can’t be leaving state to work as i get to talk to my daugter every friday she inform me that he is never home an is working out of state she just spent her bday with her 18 yr old step mom what do i do to get her back now that he is violating the order? can i demand that she be returned to my custody now that we have proff as i have been recording my conversations with her? please help

  • confused

    Hello ,
    I’m hoping I could get some advice .
    I have a 3month old daughter her dad lives about 3 hrs away .
    The thing with him is that he’s never bought her a single thing .
    When I say a single thing I mean absolutely nothing .
    There was once a time he was down where we live for a week& only seen her one time .
    He’s constantly making excuse after excuse .

    He even missed her birth, & he supposedly was here for a month because he didn’t want too miss her being born .
    I called him when I was in labor & what he said was tell someone too take you & he hung up me because he didn’t feel like talking , once I arrived at the hospital I called & called no answer [ supposedly fell asleep ] .

    Anyways point is that he’s never been there for her for the 3months she been here .
    I’m going too school & trying too make a life for us & he can’t even get a job .

    I don’t want too keep him from her but I just want too have FULL custody of her , I want him too have no rights just me .

    But my question is ” is it possible ” ?
    I’m scared if I take him I’ll end up having too joint custody .

  • Dan

    I have joint custody of my 5 year old daughter. I only see her from 5pm-7pm on wedensdays and every other weekend on friday at 5pm – sunday 5pm. And pay “Child support” BUT SHE keeps changing the schedule at the last minute or reduces my visitation time with my daughter with excuses like “She’s over a friends house right now” or “She has strep throat” (When they smoke in their house) I dont talk to my ex at all. I have my parents pick my daughter up because I have been going though therapy for the past 3 years because she cheated on me, took my daughter away and makes me pay her for it. Making fun of the fact that I’m in thearopy and is bragging to her friends (My cousins) because the D.O.R. took away my liscence. She talks down to my parents and calls the cops to check up on our daughter instead of calling my parents cell or leaving a phone message at the house. And I can’t find Anything at all to help my situation.

    I only know whats going on with my kid through “Facebook” Everyone knows more about whats going on with my baby then I do. WTF! Seriously what can I do??

  • whats my next step

    I live in GA. Me and the father were never married. I was told that because the kids have never been legitimized I have sole custody. He hasn’t paid child support in a year. And because I filed for child support he has stopped getting his kids, for about 2 months now. But all of a sudden he has been showing up at the school. The school says there is nothing that I can do about this because he is on the birth certificate. Now he has gone to threatening to take the kids and leaving the state because there is no court or visititaion order. And the shool is no help about stopping him. They have even said that he can check them out if he wishes. So whats my next step? I’m so lost. Do I get a restraining order or do I get a letter from a lawyer stating that I have sole custody? There is no actual physical violence. The only problem I have had with him have been recently. I dont want him to run with the kids. I just want him to cool down and think.

  • Jackie

    I live in Washington DC, and my soon to be Husband divorced last year has Joint Legal Custody of his daughter. The Mom has full physical custody (she lives in the state of Maryland). Well, she has decided to do what she wants to do as far as the visitation goes. She shows up late and some time she does not allow him to see his daughter at all. She constantly “throws in his face” that she has full physical Custody of their daughter and that she can do whatever she wants. She constantly calling harassing him, falsely accusing him of things like; not telling her that their daughter asthma pump is empty, and trying to start arguments. She also threatened to call the police and have him charged with kidnapping when one night they were supposed to meet at place that she proposed for him to drop their daughter off at, when we arrived she changed her mind and wanted him to bring their daughter to her house ( 45 min away). She also sends the child to us with inappropriate clothing leaving us to buy clothes, shoes ect. He had to beg her to take her asthma meds to the daycare and when the child was stung by a bee at school he had to pick her up (45min). She has kept the child in daycare and not sent her to school because she has been playing both states. Receiving welfare including a daycare voucher but lied to DC. She is keeping the child in daycare but claiming the daycare cost in child support. He already pays over $1000 a month. So, it is more money for her if she keeps the child in daycare when she should be in school. It seems that she changes with the wind. Their daughter is 4 and wants to stay with us. To Mom, having physical custody is about money and power. It is not the child and so she had the physical custody but does not even spend time with the child. She tells her daughter messages to tell us and talks about us to her daughter. Her daughter now acts very “mouthy” and whenever she does not want to do something we ask of her such as brush your teeth she respond with” my Mommy said that I don’t have to brush my teeth”. It’s always “my mommy said”. This situation affects me so God knows how it will affect my 6 month old son later. My fiancé filled a contempt order against her and the date has not yet come. What could we do about this when we go to court? This is a nightmare for us and our growing family.

  • Scared

    My husband and I have been separated since March 2009 and have 2 children together who have lived with me the whole time. We have both since come into serious relationships with other people and I now have a 3 month old son with my boyfriend and have been living together for this whole year. When we first started dating my husband got into a verbal argument with my boyfriend at my home threatening him and another verbal argument over the phone on Easter of this year again threatening him. Those are the only two altercations they have had. My husband filed for the divorce in July of this year and I cannot afford an attorney of my own. Legal Aid will not help because it was flagged as a conflict. In April my husband researched myboyfriends past and found that 14 years ago he was labled a convicted felon. That lifestyle was a mistake and he changed his life a long time ago. My husband was not concerned of his past at that time. My boyfriend has been the one to support me and my children fully with no child support from my husband since March of this year. When he filed for the divorce he still did not mention any concern he had with my boyfriends past. Now after months I get a letter from his lawyer saying they are going to request that the children not be exposed to convicted felons in either household. For which reason I can only assume to be that he’s mad I won’t agree with his requests in the divorce. I’m afraid that if a judge agrees than he will not be able to see his son, or that if I don’t make him leave then my ex will take our girls from me.

    Does he have the right to force a man out of his own home and away from his child? My boyfriend is no harm and has done nothing but love and support the girls as if they were his own.

  • Jane

    My son just turned two. His biological father is not on the birth certificate, does not live in the same state, does not pay child support, has only seen him a total of 4 hours (we were living in the same state for the first eight months of my son’s life). He also does not pay child support and has not filed for paternity.

    Since he has no legal rights to my son, can my fiance adopt him? I live in Indiana…

  • Eyvonne

    I have temporary guardianship over my 2 year old nephew. His mother has left the state and has no intention of returning how long do I need to wait in order to seek full custody of him? I reside in the state of Florida.

  • Christiane

    I live in Florida and just separated three weeks ago. Our two special needs kids have been with me during the week, and go to dad’s every weekend so far. This works because he has to go to work too early to get them to school so he can’t take them overnight at all during the week, and I am a free-lance musician and teach lessons and play wedding gigs on the weekend, so it is good for me to be free to work at will.
    He just had me served with divorce papers have him only taking the kids every other weekend and a short visit in the afternoon on Wednesday which will REALLY cut into my ability to make an income. Also, it is very hard to be in charge of the kids 24/7 and don’t think I should be forced to do so for 12 nights in a row then he takes 2 nights… . I want to have joint legal and physical custody where I have them every week and he has them on weekends and he doesn’t. Now, that would be best. But if he really wants weekends off, I can work out the 50/50 plan- either partial week on partial week off or every other week, but dad cannot do this due to work schedule so the only way is to have him take them on weekends and make arrangements for a babysitter if he wants to go out or whatever, just as I have to do ALL week if I have to work or teach.
    Why should I have to make accommodations for the kids 26 nights a month and him only 4 if I really don’t want to do it this way? Will the judge see it my way? Why should he get off scot free (they are pretty difficult children) with all those days off just because he is the male component of the genetic mix? He was able to hire an attorney. I am only able to have a paralegal help me. Do I have a chance of having the judge order him to take Joint Physical custody? Thanks !

  • angel101

    I have a 15 year old child who has lived solely with me for one year and wants to remain solely with me. My divorce decree states joint custody at 50/50 and i receive no child support and am beginning to struggle financially. I am not sure if seeking sole custody would be turned down and the pot stirred for my ex to enforce her to go with him or not. The environment at his house is not good and usually no food available. Please know that this can not be proven because home evaluators give a heads up and he would fix the problem until the inspection is complete.

  • jean

    i am a step parent of three girls and my husband is a heavy drinker for months at a time, we are getting a divorce and i want custody. however one of the three girls doesnt like me. i have a restraining order right now on him and two of the girls are temporarily staying with me. can i get custody?

  • Gabby

    My question is, My Boyfriends 15 year old son has not been going to school, he lives with his mother,
    they have joint legal custody and she has sole physical custody, My boyfirend as well as the school has been trying to talk with the mother regarding his education, she refuses to listen, there son says he does not want to go to school because other students are trying to take his lunch money, but he heard from the 15 year olds friend and campus security that the 15 year old has been stealing from other students and yes they want to beat him up, as well as the 15 year old is on probabtion for possesion of a controlled substance at age 14 we just found this out by another friend, not the mother or child, as well as the 15 year old tagging in another neighborhood and getting caught and beat up. my Boyfriend has not seen his son in 6 months he has been trying to but the mother does not know where there son is when we go pick him up what can we do?

  • Kay

    My husband has two children. One 18, the other 14. After his divorce from their mother, their ages 16 and 12 at the time, he was rewarded partial custody by the court. Every other weekend visits, plus 1-2 nights during the week for dinner, etc. Split vacation, holidays, the usual. Before they had reached that point, the mother had totally alientated them from their dad and they HATE him. They call him a ‘sperm donor’. I know she’s told him he had an affair, but other than that, I can’t imagine what she’s told them to make them hate him so badly. At any rate, because of this, both children refuse any contact with him, although it is part of the court order. The mother typically calls after an event in their lives and says ‘I can’t believe you didn’t even show up’. How is he supposed to know about anything they do? Nobody tells him. We are now $30,000 in debt to his lawyer because it was so important that he see his kids. He’s a very loving and caring man and has always been a great dad to them. What do you do??? The oldest is now an adult and the other refuses to answer his calls or visit…..excpet at Christmas, of course. We will be paying for the rest of our lives. What can a father do??? Hold them in contempt? They’ve already said if he forces them to come, they will make it the most miserable weekend of his life. She too has convinced them of abuse, accused him of ‘giving’ her cancer, threatened suicide, just the dumbest stuff that you almost can’t even fathom they believe it!

  • JOY

    i have been divorce for 3yrs now I have sole custody of my 2 children. this visitation rights to my ex was set up to where the children will go to church with me as not to confuse them.Now he wants to change that visitation to where they would have to go to church with him.I having sole custody of them I think would have the right to say that is not a good idea since they are so involved in their church ?

  • Deven Poynter

    i am recently going through a divorce and its going to end with us having joint legal custody with me having physical.. im not quite sure what this means for me, could someone explain please?

    thank you,


  • Rachel Johnson

    Me and my sons father share every other week. Our divorce will be final in December. He pays me 206 but is now layed off. He found out he was having another baby with a girl he stays with. She is 20 and this will be her 3rd child from 3 different fathers. She has been arrested multiple times for drinking and driving and is still not legally old enough to be drinking. She also had photos of herself on facebook drinking and driving and also photos of her other children in no carseats. If I take him back to court for more visitation, what do you think my chances will be and also, since he is not unemployed will they make me pay him child support?

  • Zack

    I’m leaving for 9 years I’m afraid to give up full custody to my childs mother. Is there anyway I could give my half up to my sister my childs aunt who for the most part takes care of him 80% of the time?

  • Carol

    I currenlty have sole legal and physical custody of my daughter, who will be starting HS next year. Her biological father lives a few towns away, and she is interested in going to the public high school in her dad’s town. We both live in NJ.

    When HS starts, she will be living with her dad during the week, and with me on the weekend. The high school is asking for, amoung other things, a copy of the custody order.

    My question is – In the state of NJ, can a public school district prevent her from attending school in her dad’s town since he does not have legal or physcial custody of her? He does however, have visitation rights?

  • Jay

    What happens in a situation where there is a joint custody order issued. One party is aunt the other grandmother. The aunt has the residential custody, but the grandmother no longer wants joint custody. It was suppose to be temporary, but now what should she do? State New Jersey

  • Micki in New Jersey

    I have Primary Custody of my children. I have been sick lately. He is in/out of their lives, does not pay child support, barely visits. IF I pass away, what rights do I have to ensure my kids go to my parents? He has told them that they will go with his parents (not even him but them) they live in a bad neighborhood, would not take care of my kids, barely visit, help out financially, etc either. Any advise you offer is great.

  • I have a 14 yr. old son who’s father and i were never married. He’s not really ever been very consistent about being part of his life no matter how close or far they’ve lived from us. My son’s been having trouble in school and has been defiant at home a big part of which I blame on puberty and all the fun stuff that goes along with it! I try to keep his dad informed on what’s going on and lately his been seeming to be helpful and back me up on some things, it’s been really nice! So… His dad comes to pick him up for the weekend and I’m thinking seeing his dad might help so of course I let him go, especially since he doesn’t get to see him much and they live almost 3 hours away now. Sunday morning rolls around and I wake up at 8:30 am to a call saying he’s not bringing him back, he’s keeping him and enrolling him in school there tomorrow!!! WHAT THE &$%#??? Can he just do that???

  • Mark

    I have 2 children 10yrs and 8yrs. We have custody/visitation mediation in a couple of days. Current arrangement (we have been separated for 6 months) is the children live with their Mom and visit with me every other weekend and I do mid-week dinners with them as well. We live 50miles apart. Their Mom is saying that we need t have an arrangement for when the children are sick and share in their care if they are home from school. My question – “is this reasonable?”. If she has Physical custody isn’t it her responsibility to provide care in those circumstances. I am 50miles away and work full time.

  • Porsche

    Hi, I have joint legal physical custody of my daughter, who is 16. We live in Germany going on 10 years now. My ex-husband was at the airport, the day we left and moved to Germany. He agreed verbally, and obviously physically, of the move. He has signed in the past, our daughter’s passport consent forms, and as of late, she was able to able for her new passport as an adult, and only with one parents signature and my appearance with her. My questions is: Is it possible for him to try and keep her in the United States while we visit family, including him? If so, what can I do to stop this from happening? My daughter has made it quite clear to him, she does not want to go back and stay with him, that she wants to continue living with me, and finish her studies here in Germany. He really hasn’t had much contact with her during the almost 10 years while we’ve lived in Germany.

    Divorced in the State of Utah

  • Nicole

    I currently have agreed with my Ex Boyfriend to have 50/50 joint custody of our daughter. We split up our weeks and alternate weekends to keep it structured correctly and fair on both ends, including our daughter.

    I recently had to deal a issue that I wasn’t comfortable with just letting it pass by me with out voicing my opinions. My ex started dating a young girl by the age of 20 and she has issues with cutting her arms and being psychotic. She also has a 2 yr old that I’m told was taken from her and her ex and her baby’s father’s Mother took full custody of her child for they were not fit parents I’m guessing. I don’t know the full details on her past life but my main concern is that My ex is letting this unfit young lady around my child and I refuse to let this happen.

    My ex is over 30 yrs old, has a great heart and loves his daughter dearly, but has a drinking problem and has chosen the wrong path in life by not growing up and facing his problems and getting out of the scene he is currently in, and fixing himself first, bc his friends are weighing him down.
    “You are what you surround yourself with”..

    Our relationship now is civil he was considered one of my bff’s still, where we were able to communicate often for the sake of our daughter, until i recently have been involved in a new relationship and my current bf isnt comfortable with me always talking with him, but I feel that its ok. I rather him open up to me then resent me and then all hell will break out.
    My point of this conversation is that my ex started dating a chick i didnt approve of around my daughter, i did my research about this mental issue she had and it had nothing but warning signs about it. So i asked him civilly if he could only hang out with this chick when our daughter wasnt around and he agreed. I didnt want her to ever witness a episode of her cutting or wigging out, for that would make me become protective over my child and take action, physically and legally. I was avoiding this situation as much as I could.
    Then time passed and my daughter starting talking about this chick and I confronted him and all he could say was, “It’s my life, dont tell me what to do”.
    Then a month later of fighting back and fourth about my daughters surroundings and well being, He apologized for making such a harsh mistake and told me that his chick had recently cutt herself at his place right after he had just gotten back from dropping my daughter off to the sitters. He said it was over, but in general, I dont have any trust in him anymore, I dont mind the 50/50 split of custody, but what else can i get filed to make sure her surroundings are jotted down on paper legally??
    I dont want to risk him drinking and driving or even just drinking a large consumption of alchol solo or with others around her when she’s in his care as well as being around un fit people. How do I go about this LEGALLY??

    Please help me, this will make my life soo much more better if i got the correct advice. Thank you soo much!
    Maybe this will make him SOBER! who knows, I love him soo much as a person, that I just want the best for all 3 of us, for we are stuck with eachother FOREVER!!!


  • WantToGetOut

    I am in a 3 year relationship and I have two children. One of which is not biologically my significant others son. The youngest one is. I would like to get sold physical custody of my youngest because I wish to move out of the state. I do not want him know that I am trying to do this because I am scared of him. I want to get out of this relationship. I have no proof that he has been physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me and my oldest child.Is there anyway I can do this and have him served with papers after I leave the state?

  • J

    I am concern of my child safety,physical,mental,and emotion health, due to the parent being homeless, and mental illness, his also tried to commit suicide. what kind of forms to i need to file for in Florida. I don’t want him around her at all, i think he could be dangerous.

  • a

    I have sole custody of my child. Can His father who only sees him when he wants to make decisions for him, including even simple things like getting his haircut?? what about scheduling doctors appointments for him??

  • Brian

    Ok so I recently got married and my wife has a 2 year old son. She is working on getting full custody of her son. It is something that we both agreed on getting. Baby daddy agreed to it a few months prior and when my wife and him went to court he had changed his whole story. I am currently in the army and deployed so my contribute to this situation is very limited. Baby daddy doesn’t give a 100% to his son. I know everyone says that but it’s true, He only sees his son when it is convienient for him, even than he will have some one in his family go pick up his son and than a few hours later he calls saying he can’t have his son over anymore, and than has someone in his family bring his son back to my wifes house. He doesn’t make much money maybe 700 dollars a month, has no health insurance for himself let alone his son. I have provided my stepson with health insurance through the army. He has horrible credit, owes alot of money to numerous sources, and has legal issues. These are some of the reasons that we would like for my wife to have full custody of the child. I have a good paying job, health insurance for the whole family, a house, I can provide my family with a good life, good schooling for my stepson, and a good enviroment for him to grow up in. Is there any reason why the court would deny my wife of getting full custody?

  • Danielle

    I have been with my fiance now for 3 years and we are planning on getting married within a year. I have a 7 year old girl with another man, and was just awarded sole physical and legal custody of her, with no parenting time. Her last name is currently the same as mine, but when I get married, I plan on taking my fiance’s last name. Id like to change my daughters last name so the whole family has the same name. Am I able to do this without the fathers permission since i have sole legal custody?

  • belinda

    my ex-husband and i divorced in 2004, we both agreed to joint legal and joint physical custody of our daughter, since then he has been married and divorced,had another child, plus 2 children before me with another woman(that makes 4 kids with 3 women) i recently filed a motion for full legal and full physical custody with the court because he has not held up his parenting time agreement, as a matter of fact he has been an absentee father to our daughter only visiting with her a couple of times throughout the year. he didn’t show up in court for the custody hearing nor did he file an objection(which he had 21 days to do so) so i was granted full legal and full physical custody in june 2010 with him only having reasonable and liberal parenting time with her. the problem is, that she is 11yrs old and i let her have her own choice when he calls to go with him or not,but she never wants to visit with him because she told me that he always says mean stuff about me to her, and she doesnt feel confortable going over there because he is living in someones basement. he said he was going to take me to court because he thinks its my fault the reason why she doesnt want to see him,and its certanly not my fault, i try to encourage her to call him, or visit with him, and when she finally gives in and calls him he usually ends up yelling at her, and making her cry! can i legally get into any kind of trouble for not forcing her go with him? like i said i try to encourage her to call or visit with him but she doesnt want to! is there anything legally he can do? or does he not have a leg to stand on after not showing up for the custody hearing or filing an objection its been 7 mos+ since he has seen her and he has not filed any complaints to the court as of yet, the only complaint he has to me is how much child support he has to pay now. what should i do if anything??

  • Tamarra

    I have married a man who is in the military. My ex-husband and I originally agreed upon a plan of me having sole physical custody and sharing legal custody. I am wondering what the best approach to designing a new parenting plan will be since I will be moving with my husband as he is station both in the states and overseas. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this?

  • Amber

    I live in New Hampshire and my ex lives in New York. In November I was granted physical custody of our 10 year old son, but we were given joint legal custody of him. I was granted physical custody of my son after it was shown in court that my ex had been neglecting our sons needs and physical and mentaly as well as verbaly abusing our son in a CPS report. After many meetings with a Law Gaurdian my son told him everything he could remember and told him he wished to live with me. Our son has been going to school here now with me for 6 months, and untill 2 weeks ago his father has shown no interest in what he is doing in school or other wise. Now all of a sudden he is calling the school all of the time. When the school sends me an e-mail regarding our son they are now sending one to him as well. Now my ex is texting and calling our son all of the time demanding to know what his problem is and yelling at him over every little thing. Now our son sits and dreads the phone ringing I have to force him to talk to his dad on 3 different nights. He is upset by his father and really does not care what he has to say all our son talks about is him yelling and his abuse of him. My question is what can I do to help this situation out seeing that the court in New York gave my ex Joint Legal custody in spite of what he has done to hurt our son? I have filed in the courts in New Hampshire to have the cased moved her, but have not recived any paper work since it was just filed about 3 weeks ago.

  • Shirley

    I divorced from a 20 year marriage to a controlling, demanding and verbally abusive husband. Still after 10 years divorced he still tries to control my life and wont let me be happy if he’s miserable. He stalks my house and calls using our kids as excuse to check things out and then talk to me to manipulate me. He uses kids to get his way and I always give in for our kids sake. I stayed in the same town for our divorce agreement stated kids had to stay in the same school district. Our child has 5 more years to go before he’s 18. I stayed in this town as long as I can but my nerves cant deal with it any longer. My child has started to belittle me just like his father; and when infront of his dad his dad doesnt correct his speaking to a women that way. If I moe to another town say 4 to 8 hour drive so my exhusband cant stalk me or verballycontroll me anymore. (Plus job will be easier for me to find in a bigger town.) My son will have to stay with his father, awhile. I know my son is good when he not around his dad for awhile what if my son wants to come live with me? Can he at a certain age go infront of a judge and state the parent he wants to be with and over ride the staying in the same school district rule? I have primary sole custody, but he and I share joint. Would my son staying with his dad while I move away to get adjusted and settled in effect the custody arrangement? What if he wont let me have my son and refuses to share joint and tells court I abandoned my son? Do I need to send a notarized letter 30 days before I move stating its temporary for the move and I get my place settled that the custody still remains the same? What do I need to do?

  • C.

    My ex-husband and I have joint physical custody of our son, 9 yrs old and both reside in NJ with a 2 week on 2 week off schedule for having our son. I have since remarried and have 2 other children. We are needing to move for my husband’s job to AZ. What do I need to do to get the process started for this transition to have sole physical custody of my son.

  • jacks

    Ok….I have been divorced for 8 years and I just got childsupport and custody of 2 of our 3 kids….I live in texas and our divorce said he claims them on taxes…the childsupport office told me because I now have custody I claim the 2 kids I have custody of…..can you please tell me if this is ture I don’t want to be in any trouble with the IRS…..thankyou

  • Amanda

    My husband nor his childs mother have legal custody of the child. The child belongs to the state. We live in Maryland. Currently she is threatening to never let him see his daughter again (shes done this before, went on for months moved and no one could find her) . We pay child support to her mother and currently his daughter is living with her mothers sister (her mothers decision). She cries everytime she has to go back over there but wont tell us whats wrong. We are afraid shes being abused. Legally, since no one has custody, does he have to return her to the mother?

  • Heather

    My ex husband and i share Joint LEGAL custody but i have Sole Physical custody. I inform him of things such as moving to new states since my fiance has a job that has recently moved him to a different state. But he argues that I HAVE to get his permission before moving to a new place. Is this true? And there is no visitation agreement so do I have to let him take my daughter out of state for a couple weeks? shes only a years old and he is a stranger to her. im okay with him seeing her but im not comfortable with her being states away at such a young age. What can I legally do without him as far as moving away and not letting him take her out of state?

  • Kay

    Ok I have a 5 yr old stepson in which his mother gives us a hard time with, she states that he dont listen to her and will not show her any respect, he is falling behind in school. we have an atty. but still he tells us we need to wait before we presue going after custody, My stepson has told us that he has been touch in “not Ok” places and that his mom knew but yet they still made us take him back to her. She and her boyfriend are now splitting up and yet she still has not told us whats going on, we had had someone eles tell us whats going on, now she is telling us that she is not reciving child support, which we send out every week, would the state of ky be holding it for what ever goverment ad she is getting such as Passport (medical Ins.) or anything eles?

  • Laura D

    My husband has shared legal and physical custody of his 3 year old daughter and has had this for about 2 years now. He was just served to go to court because his ex wants primary custody of his daughter (she says its because of the fact that she lives 40 minutes away from us and when it comes time for school she will have to be either here or there anyway). We think its because she wants child support and wont be able to get it as long as we have her just as much. What is the likelihood that the judge will rule that she gets primary custody based solely on the school factor? She is only 3 and will not be in school for another 2 years. We send her to preschool on the 2 weekdays we have her now in our town. Her mother doesnt send her to any type of daycare or school at all yet. Should we get a lawyer or is it likely that the judge will rule to keep the situation as it is (3.5 days with each parent)?

  • chuya

    i am 3months pregnant from my boyfriend he lives in another state he wants me to move out there along with my two kids from my previous marriage, my x husband refuses for me to take our kids. . what are my chances if i go to court on the judge granting me to take my Kids out of the state of nv??

  • Alicia

    My husband and I have shared custody of our two teenage children. The children spend every weekend with their father starting on Friday after school and they are back with me on Monday through the week. My new position has required a fair amount of travel and initially my ex-husband agreed to care for our daughter during that time. He is now refusing to take care of her in my absence which has placed unnecessary stress on other family members that have to step in and do what he refuses to do. Should I now consider full physical custody and have him pay me child support. My daugther is special needs and requires constant adult supervision.

  • ky

    the father of my child doesnt have much to do with our daughter. she is 6 months old & he has bought her something twice. he never asks to see her, or asks how shes doing. he lives with his friend, whom smokes pot all day in the house. the father of my child last told me he was selling drugs to get money. he doesnt attend any dr appts. she lives with me & i have taken care of her from day 1. the father is never around. how much will it cost in illinois to get his name taken of the birth certificate? & given this info, will it be easy for me to get full legal custody?

  • laura

    my husband has moved to london, and i have sole care of my daughter who is 7yrs old, i dont have contact with him, do i still need his permission from him to get her a passport to take my daughter out ov the country? please help

  • Kelley

    My husband has sole custody of his 9 year old son. Two years ago in March his ex wife willingly signed over sole custody and agreed to supervised visitation by her mother(who we thought was responsible at the time) every wed and every other weekend. Ever since my husband and I have been together and I noticed all the things that were a little off I started documenting everything that has been going on (conversations, texts, comments from his son about things that go on over there, etc.). Also in the past two yrs his ex has rented out her son’s room and had drug heads, alcoholics and violent people living there (I know b/c she directly told me these things). At the beginning of November 2010 she was arrested for possession of schedule 2 drugs with intent to distribute. She also admitted to being addicted to pain killers and she was also 4 months pregnant at the time, and when that happened we didn’t allow his son to go over there. He didn’t go over there for about 7 weeks. The day after xmas we spoke with his ex’s dad, whom is divorced from her mother and has a decent head on his shoulder. We told him that if he would like to come pick up my stepson to bring him to do presents and visit for a couple of hours as long as he made sure to keep an eye on him. He did so now we have allowed him to pick him up every other Sat for a few hours to go spend time with them. Now she is taking my husband to court for modification of custody and contempt of custody agreement. I don’t think she has a chance but I would like to know another opinion on this. We are also going to be filing a petition for change of visitation to twice a month supervised by child protective services. Do you think we are justified in this matter?

  • terrilynn

    My and I have been split over a year now he is a good parent as well so am I we both love our 4 year old son very much, he wants to move 3000 miles away and take my son till school is in session, I am ok with that but we have nothing legal what r my options if he does not return.

  • father

    I am an unmarried father of a 7 year old boy. My sons mother left the home to live with the person she was having an affair, leaving me to take care of my son. We verbally agreed that he will stay with me. The first 4 months, she rarely came around to see him, although she called often. For the following 8 months she would come around about 3 times a week and take him every other weekend. I have petitioned for paternity and joint custody primary custodian after she threatened to take my son because she wanted to move to another state. After getting wind of my petition, she petitioned for sole custody. What are my chances of being the primary custodian? I have been reading that most courts favor the mom.

  • Sheila

    I need some help i have Shared Legal and Primary Physical Custody of my 4 year old Nephew and his mother has Partial physical custody every weekend with times to be agreed upon between both parties she has been in and out of his life since birth and now she wants to be apart of his life and wants to get him every weekend. I allowed her to have him for the weekend and then when he came back he was a total mess very clingy and wont sleep at night or wont sleep in his own room. when i tell him he has to go back to her house he cries and tells me no i don’t want to go she is mean and i don’t like it there. Do i have the right to not allow him to stay at her house as long as i give her some time with him on her weekends?

  • Stacey Schultz

    I have a 4 year old son and I have been taking care of him by myself for all of that time. His father was incarcerated a couple of days before his birth. He has recently been released and has given a little money as he sees fit every month for about five months. However, he has let his fiancée continuously harass me. She has gone so far as to with death upon me. I will be moving soon, and I don’t plan on giving him my address. He tells me that his lawyer tells him that given the fact that paternity has been established but nothing has been done legally as far as child support or custody goes it would make it illegal for me to move and not notify him first. He says it would be considered kidnapping. Is this true, and what rights do I have as far as custody of my son goes?

  • MJ

    My children and I haven’t benn NY state residents for 6 yrs. My ex gave me his permission to move out because of my husband’s new job out of state (he was unemployed for several months in NY) My ex- husband has never willfully tried to see both our children on his own accord. I was the one letting him know in advance when we were traveling back to NY to drill or see my parents (no longer live in NY).My ex got engaged last year and I was served with visitation papers for violating his rights it was throen out of family court d/t lack of jurisdiction. Last year in July we moved to CO from MA been here for 8 months I was served again last Oct for violating his visitation rights. I was unable to fly out with all my for court and my attorney let me know 2 days prior he was asking to be dismissed that day of court the judge in NY granted the dismissal and he gave my husbnad temp sole custody? Who really has jurisdiction since family court had already threw it out he never went to MA to file a petition and now my children who I have cared for, for 8 yrs will be uprooted. I understand the UCCJEA but since the commencement started in Oct ’10 we moved to CO in July’10 and been in MA 5 yrs prior who has rightfully jurisdiction I am concerned for my children’s well being FYI even the law guardian didn’t want my ex to have custody just some visitation.

  • BK

    So my fiance has a 2 year old child and during his divorce with his ex wife he was very distraught, and had no idea what he was doing at the time because he couldn’t afford a lawyer. She was granted sole parental right and responsibilities what exactly does that entail? Is he still technically his father notplease help me understand this!

  • Concernd Utah

    I am in the early stages of filing for divorce. My soon to be Ex and I are on faily good terms considering. My wife and I are having our major issues with the idea of joint physical custody vs sole physical custody. She believes that Joint means 50/50 everytime. I have been given legal advice than in Utah Joint Physical Custody is defined as a single day over the standard visitation schedule. Can you help clarify?

  • sc

    I have been divorced for over two years now and I did recieve sole custody of our son both physical and legal due to his father not even showing up to court. My son’s father keeps moving and refuses to tell me when he moves but still expects me to send my son! Just looking for some advice on what I should do.

  • Jennifer

    I have a 9 month old son and the father and i have decided we are not going to work and we were never married, now i was wanting to file some type of custody agreement and child support because i have been all the work since he was born. He has bought dipers and several other things but that is about it. I was wondering if it was possible that i could get either full custody or sole physical custody and joint legal custody?

  • Beth

    My soon to be 5 year old son’s father and I were never married and we have never gone to court other than for child support and I was looking over the court documents the other day because I am ill and it is terminal to see if a custody determination was ever made. My son’s father walked away at 5 months into the pregnancy and has seen him maybe 4 times since he was born. My problem is my very good friends in Georgia want to take care of my son after I die, and I am thrilled that they are willing to. My son’s father is psychologically unstable, medically non-compliant, transient at times and just unfit to raise a child. Do I need to go to court now and deal with the custody? Where would the guardianship papers be filed, NY or GA? Are guardianship papers correct or do I need a will also? Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated.

  • diana

    my daughter had a daughter 12 yrs ago and she was bullied into leaving when the child was 1 yr old. she left the child behind cause she had no where to go and didnt want to put the baby in any danger and the baby and her daddy were living with the daddys grandparents. anyway she went to court when the child was 2 and she didnt know the first thing on what to do so she went unprepared no lawyer no nothing the judge gave her time to get a lawyer and when notified of the new court date well she didnt get it cause she had moved but she missed it by 3 days and the dad was granted sole custody. now they have let my daughter be in her life and today the dad and his mother threw the 12 yr old out on the streets in the cold and her great grandparents went to pick her up my question is can my daughter go get her then file for custody without getting in trouble?

  • Theresa

    My daughter lives in GA and has joint custody with her 4yr olds father. She is the custodial parent. They have a court arrangement for him to pay child support and have scheduled visitations. He has not paid any child support nor has he stuck with his vistations and doesn’t take his son at all every other weekend. He drops by when he likes, but now my daughter is engaged to be married to someone in California and would like to move. I know she needs to petition the court to move. The father is very combative with my daughte on the phone and is always calling and basically harrassing her constantly. My grandson has witnessed these arguments and I feel it effects him negatively. The father is always threatening to take her to court for various reasons althouth my daughter has been the only parent supporting the child. What steps does she need to take to be able to move away.

  • laura67

    I have sole legal custody of my disabled son, due to Juvenile Court made the orders because the father is abusive and unfit. Do I have to inform him of every tiny little thing also do I have to give him papers, I think in our situation he wasn’t allowed it because he uuses the information to mostly hurt me or my son. Father is not allowed to contact school or doctor and request papers.

  • Rhonnie

    I am engaged and planning to move out of state. My childs father is a “rolling stone” so he doesn’t have a permanent residence ( or this is what the courts keeps telling me, when i try to issue a violation for non payment of child support order) He has told me he will never pay and to this day his involvement in his child life has consisted of not much. He does not call or come visit his child at all. My question is…what would be the best route to go to gain sole custody (legally) of my child? I am starting a new life with a man who wants to be a father to my child, I just don’t want the biological to one day come into the picture and try to drag me thru a custody battle because he gets a sudden case of “caring” for his child. He is involved in all types of illegal behavior that my child does not need to be caught up in, which is why we stopped dating…I want what is best for my child and I just don’t know what the best way is to go about it.

  • Rebecca

    i am trying to get full custody of my child. right now i have her and her dad has to pay child support and has visitation rights although he never calls to see her or pays his child support. how can i go about filing for full custody since he’s not in her life any way. my fiance is the one that has been supporting her since she was 1 and now wants to adopt her. i have tried speaking with her father but he refuses to give up his rights and i think its just to drive me crazy considering he obviously doesnt care for her so i really need to know how i can go about getting full custody…. help please

  • Brenda Lee

    Question ? I was in an abusive relationship where i got a restraining order , now the restraining has been up since 2008 and my sons father has been in jail facing deportation for 4 years now … now he has visitiation on sat for only four hours now does he still have visitation rights? The court order stated that i was awarded physical and legal custody of my son but like i said the order was up for that in 2008 , i want to file for full custody for my son since he is in jail and constantly harreses me over the phone … i am the only one who takes care of my son but have been laid off from work and am on unemployment … will i be awarded full custody of my child or will his family have visitation rights … I live in Los Angeles County …

  • Concerned

    I live in Ohio, and I have physical custody of my Grand daughter. Her mother signed a grand parent clause so she could seek help. The parents are separated and the mother has been taking care of the daughter since he went into the army. He is now seeking custody of the 18 month old child and using the fact that the mother is getting help as a reason to put off being deployed in September. Is he capable of gaining the custody before being deployed and the child will have to move to Georgia or is there a way in which my Grand daughter will be able to stay in Ohio with me because she was born here and her entire family resides here.

  • abigail

    My daughters dad hadn’t been in our daughters life since she had been born…he hasn’t been of any support even before she were born and began to try and force me to abort our child and threatened to take the baby from me. He has been ordered to pay cs and I’ve only rcvd some money only one for cs within the past mth. Just a few weeks ago he had come to my home and tried to take our baby away from me took her carseat..so I had called and filed a police report oabout this situation. Now he’s trying to take me to court to get lower cs and legal joint/physical custody of our daughter. I’m wondering… would he be able to get this ordered knowing the fact that I’m the custodial parent of her and live 200+ miles away from him? He’s been lyeing about our daughter been living with him and me for the past 5-6months…that’s not true bc she’s in daycare while I’m @ work everyday!

  • Anne

    I have had full legal and physical custody of my 14-year-old autistic son since he was 3 years old. His father lives on the east coast and I live on the west coast. It has been over 10 years of hell. I love my son more than words can say, however, I am sick, suffer from serious anxiety, am unemployed an living off my savings, and am almost completely broke and broken. I initiated a hearing in New Jersey for modification of support, after 10 years. This hearing happened today. The lady, (mediator I believe), was horrible to me. I was on speaker phone, and my X was there in person. Right from the get-go she was extremely aggressive and rude with me, while being pleasant and kind to my X. In the end she reduced the child support by over $200. monthly. My X makes over $100,000., and I am living off of my savings. I don’t get it! I have been on the front lines here, all alone, raising a very high needs, high risk child and the New Jersey court is completely heartless to my situation. I simply can’t do this anymore and want to transfer full custody to my X. I don’t think he will want his son to move in with him. What can I do? I just can’t do this anymore. Its breaking my heart, but I have to do what is going to save my sanity, health, and probably my life.

  • concerned

    i had joint physical custody of my children and we have visitation schedules set up where the kids switched homes a week on a week off, i had rights to choose where the children went to school but did not realize it so I allowed my ex to dicate where the kids went to school against my wishes because i did not want to fight. we did this for two years. we both moved ten months ago out of the county we filed in and out of the county we agreed to in the custody arrangements. he has since had one of my children with him all the time except every other weekend but has been refusing to send her to visit me on our verbally arranged weekends for the last 9 weeks. i had the other two children for 7 months and the last two months he has had one of my kids living with him. all this is him choosing and me agreeing so we would not fight. he has three times taken one or more of my children and not returned them to me or brought them when we had arranged and “hid” them from me and told me I would need to go get a lawyer if i wanted to see my kids when i wanted to. I have now done this and we tried to get the court to move the decree to the county i live in (not the same as his) and they refused. now he is fighting for sole custody of all the kids. what are the odds that he will get them since two of them are currently with him and he is keeping them from me and I have agreed to all his requests even though he is alienating the children from me because i didn’t want to fight or have to put the children through a court battle. can he get all my kids and child support just because they are with him now and i can’t force him to return them to me because he just wont.

  • Curious 1

    my ex and i have joint legal and physical custody of our daughter. my daughter is entering kindergarten this year which enrollment started about 2 months ago… i informed my ex about it and she wanted to know what my options are.. i informed her of my options and she disagreed and said we can wait till july to enroll our daughter since school doesnt start till august anyway..i have my daughter from saturday mornings to wednesday evenings… my ex lives 2 hours away bcuz she moved out of the county..should i just enroll my daughter into school so she can get a spot before it’s too late? the mom refuses to discuss her options with me over the phone for it has to be in person… and the times she wants to discuss it isn’t convenient for me.. what should i do??

  • SusanR

    My ex husband is seperated from his current wife and has a live in girlfriend whom I just found out is pregnant. I have asked him not to have our two children around her but he has them around her, has her there for overnight stays (and I just found out he left my daughter there alone with her overnight while he was at work) on their weekend visits. And most concerning is I asked for them not to ride in the vehicle with her because she has had a suspended license, and a couple of years ago she did not have her infant buckled in the carrier, pulled out in front of two cars and the child died. I’m not sure what my rights are or what I can do….

  • S.M

    I live in Az. My ex gets our Daughter every other weekend and once during the week. She is 13. Problem: My ex is very emotionally abusive to our Daughter. He threatens her via text, as well as harrasses her via text. He does the same to me. I have been dealing with this for 10yrs. Our Daughter has delt with it and has now decided there is no way she wants to see him. I don’t know what to do. She cries, tells me she is afraid of him and if I force her to go she will leave his house. It is so hard to know what to do as far as the courts are concerned. I would like to know if there is a simple way of fixing this. My ex will not speak to me. If he does it is not in a manner in which I feel is at all apprropriate. I have had to block him from my cell so he will not leave me messages that are insulting, rude and pretty much against our decree that states we need to have good communication. Can anyone give me some advise?? I am more concerned about our Daughter and her situation. Thanks!

  • EMBY

    My husband’s has joint custody of his daughter with his ex girlfriend. She is constantly creating drama by demanding more time with their daughter during his parenting time. They’ve been to court many times now and he is now faced with his ex consistently violating the court order by making appts for their daughter during his time without his consent, using their daughter as a messenger to ask for time during his parenting time, denying his requests to take their daughter on our vacation trip, etc. Even with the court stating that she must follow the court order, the mother is still emailing threats and demeaning remarks to my husband (and me.) My husband doesn’t want to go back to court and waste more time on his ex’s nonsense but is frustrated by the drama she’s causing. Can he legally authorized me to be his point of contact on his behalf to communicate with his daughter’s mother? Please help!!! Thank you.

  • EMBY


    My ex is consistently causing drama with me by:

    1- making appts for our child during my time without my consent
    2- using our child as a mesenger to spend time with him during my parenting time
    3- wanted to cut my time in half to have our child mon-fri and every other weekends
    4- lies to the court, my daughter about me
    5- name calling me, threatening my wife and calling her names

    questiion is, to avoid anymore drama with my ex, can i authorize my wife to communicate with my ex on my behalf? My wife has never disrespect my ex and loves our child very much. Our child talks to my wife more than she talks to me and my ex. My wife can communicate with my ex without drama for sure.

    Please help!

  • cristina

    I am 23 weeks pregnant and have also a 1 year old. My husband has always been abusive verbally and finally 3 weeks ago he hit me in the belly. i called police and because he had grab a gun and threaten to kill himself they put him in a mental institution. I filed for divorce and got restriction and protective orders. I want complete custody, sole and legal. Hes a threat to my kid and i wont allow for him to see him. my question is. If i have sole custody, legal and everything does he still get visitations? I want to move to another city to be far from him, is this possible? all he wants right now is for me to drop charges so he can use his guns again, cause hes a Hunter and with the protective order hes not allowed to use the guns. I am trying to trade that for full and completely custody. but will a judge aprove that even if he agrees with it?

  • lila

    If the mother leaves the city to go to another city without telling the father, is it consider kiddnapping if there isnt any court papers? What if she leaves and send a text saying she not coming back and leaves no address on where she is taking the child?

  • Lisa

    My daughter is almost 2 years old and has never stayed the night with fathers. The reason for this is that he lives in his mother’s house. His mother made several threats to me in the early part of my daughters life, even asking her son to sign over rights so she could get custody of our daughter (he refused). Another reason is that marajuana in the house and I don’t want my daughter exposed to their drug use. We do not have any for of a custody agreement, he and I have agreed on everything thus far. The only thing in writing the child support agreement and paternity test. Until yesterday when he said he wanted her to the stay the night, I said no of course. With all that said I guess my question is what rights does he have and if I don’t want her over there do I need to just go ahead and file this through the courts? I am very concerned and unsure of what steps if any I need to pursue. Thanks in advance, Lisa

  • whoknows

    I have sole-custody. I am remarried and want to know what steps to take if anything were to happen to me, that he gets to keep my son with him. The bio-dad does not pay child support, does not have visitation, and rarely calls. I do not, under any circumstances, want my son to have to go to him for anything. He won’t sign over his rights but yet he doesn’t have much to do with him either. Is there a way to share custody with the new hubby or make him a guardian without the bio being involved?


    can I be charged with kidnapping of my two kids if i go and pick my children up from their dads and not return them to him. If their has not ben any formof legaly seperation or divorced. Don’t we both have custody of the children.

  • Jennifer

    My divorce papers state that when there is a school holiday and it is my ex’s visitation he gets them for that holiday. What is deemed as a “school holiday” and where can I research this further? Is a snow day a school holiday?

  • Emily Brown

    Hi, My boyfriend has joint custody with his son’s mother and is also granted visitation rights by court order. The only thing is that we stay in maryland and she stays in maine, and doesn’t allow his son to speak on the phone with him or even allow him to come on summer breaks or anything of the sorts. It has been 2 years since he seen his son last and a year since she let him talk to his father. It just seems like she is breaking the contact more and more between them and in which im sure she is breaking the orders of the court order some way. can you please help us on what we can do

  • Courts can also award joint physical with a primary. I disagree with the courts taking the power and control over determining which parent is best suited to have more time with the children just because you get divorced or are single. I believe that this is a violation of our fundamental civil rights to make these determinations for ourselves and that the courts are discriminating against divorced parents by classifying them as a group not worthy of equal protection of the same rights that married parents enjoy.

  • Jesse Goens

    How about if both parents get joint costody, but one parent is absent from the childs life, the parent doe’s pay child support but doe’s not want to give up his rights. The parent that has physical costody wants the new husband to at adopted the child what if anything can we do to sever the parents right that is absent.

  • Ryan Prete

    My ex and I got divorced in HI, we have joint legal custody, but she has sole physical custody because of me going on deployments. Well now I have a steady job and we both live in CT. What do I have to do/ paperwork do I need to get joint physical custody? Can it be done in CT or does it have to be where the original divorce decree set the terms(HI)? I just want to ensure I have equal time to see my son. Thank you for what ever help you can give.

  • Jenny

    My son was just diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia by a licensed child physiologist (which was recommend by his teachers & pediatrician to have him tested) and I have had him in with a behavioral therapist for almost a year now to try the non-drug route. I have given my ex husband all the times and dates, some times he shows up and sometimes he doesn’t. My son’s therapist feels he hasn’t progressed and suggested we go and see a Doctor about starting him on a drug regime. I have sole physical custody and had to share the legal custody. He is creating road blocks on me trying to help my son with his future. What can I do to help my son?

  • Just Asking

    My ex-husband & I have been seperated for over a year. He has been dragging his feet & fighting over EVERYTHING which is why we aren’t officially divorced yet, but final hearing is supposed to be July 28th, so I’m hoping this will be over soon. We currently have joint custody with my daughter spending equal time with both of us, however, I have petitioned to be primary custodian. I live in another town in the next county, which is approximately 30 miles from where I used to live, I live an hour away from my current job. I need to move to be closer to my job and that combined with the fact that I home school my daughter is the reason why I have petitioned to be primary custodian. It is very difficult to teach her when she is with me for only half of every month. I do not send her home school lessons with her when she has to go to him. Mainly for the fact that he & his parents would keep her school stuff and decide they were going to teach her themselves as another way of trying to obtain more control over my daughter. It’s a long, complicated, story, but he & his parents attempted to take my girl away from me when we first seperated and for several weeks, I was only allowed to come to their home to visit with her, and could stay as long as I wanted to, but I was not “allowed” to leave the property with her…and had to literally snatch my child back when the opportunity presented myself. While still married to this emotionally & verbally abusive man, I was constantly threatened that if I ever tried to leave him that he & his parents would make sure that I didn’t get custody of my daughter, that his parents “would spend every penny of money that they have to make sure that you don’t get custody of her”…and this is what kept me in an abusive relationship for far longer than I should have ever been there. Fear will keep you in a place where you never thought you would be & the fear that he would actually be able to take my baby away from me was enough to stop my heart from beating in my chest. I finally mustered the courage to leave & to take my child with me, and we had a verbal agreement as to the sharing of custody before there was an “official” custody arrangement. He picked her up one day & refused to bring her back…and as there was nothing “official” at that point, each of us had as much right to her as the other. He set his parents up as “watchdogs” to make sure that I didn’t attempt to take her anywhere when I did come to visit after he first did this. Firstly, I need to know how much of a chance to I have of getting primary custody of my daughter…and Secondly, since his parents have interfered from the get-go with matters that should be strictly between him & myself, can I get the courts to limit their contact with my child when she does have to go to her visitations with him. He does currently live with his parents, and has been living with them since we seperated. She has told me that if he didn’t live with them that she wouldn’t want to go visit him at all. She does love her grandparents, but they are constantly attempting to “buy” her affection…and pretty much give her everything that she wants in attempts to influence her in who she wants to live with. While I do provide for all her needs, I cannot afford to buy her everything that she wants. Will the judge even consider what my daughter says & be influenced either way since this is deliberate on their part to alienate my child from me? She is currently 10 years old. Please advise.

  • Katie

    Hi, I’m 17 and my mom has custady over me. The divorce papers say I’m suposed to be visiting my dad every other weekend and ever Thursday. My mom said that I don’t have to do that because the judge said it’s okay because of my age. It’s been a year and now my dad wants to put the visits to action. I don’t want to because I’m busy and don’t want to have to keep track of my stuff and driving back forth everywere as it will put more stress on me. I always visit my dad when I can or if he invites me over but he doesn’t think he sees me enough and he has to pay for the child care. Is it true I don’t have to put up with a visiting schedual?

  • andrea

    The father of my child is seeking partial custody to our baby girl. He hasn’t been here for her when she was born he has maybe seen her 2 times a month and she is 5 months now. He helps me with nothing, and I feel he is being spiteful since I called the cops on him for growing weed in his house and his parents house. He is a CONTENT weed smoker and since I have known him always high. When I was in labor he left to go get high. I want full custody of my baby girl due to the fact he is a convicted felon one in Colorado and one in Montana he has done jail time and I feel if he has custody any kind she will grow up and see “oh daddy grows weed oh daddy smokes weed” and she will think It’s ok. I fear for her life when she goes there due to the fact he does grow weed and known for that all around town who knows what will happen or who will go there with my child there. When ever I did let her go to him he would bring her back and she would wreak of weed! I asked him numerous times to smoke around her or have her around any of that but he still would. What are the chances I get full custody of her in the state of Colorado? I’m ok with supervised visitation but not unsupervised and not 50/50! I just feel his life style and ways and surrounding are not a stable safe environment for her.


    hi, me and my ex boyfriend have a signed agreement on how much child support he will give me every 1st of the month starting may 1, 2010 i am moving to mesa arizona july 3,2011 and he was upset about it but we came to an understanding. he and i have been getting along fairly well we still go out, spend nights together, and have sex but because we got into an argument he’s refusing to pay me the child support knowing thats the only income i will have to make it in az till i start working. what should i do?

  • mar

    I have a question… my b/f has a 6 year-old son. He has 50% of yhe custody but whishes to get full. What can he do?
    The mom lives in a home where she rents a room. But my bf would like his son to stay in a more stable home. Are there any changes he can get full custody?

  • A Mother’s Love

    My ex husband and I have shared joint custody of our 6 yo son with primary physical custody to him. He is currently deployed with the military and his wife is caring for my son. Can I legally get custody of my son in his absence or does she have a right to have him? Also, I have been denied parenting time and verbal threats over the phone by him regarding my son about him taking him away from me permanently. I have not been in the loop about my sons education or anything he does, his wife basically tries to step on my toes about the well being of my son. This order took place in Virginia. Is there anything I can do?

  • 88kkdm

    is there such thing as superior custody?

  • Frustrated Father

    My soon to be ex-wife has full legal custody if my children and I have no visitation. I pay my child support as court ordered. She lives in California and I live in Texas. She is financially unstable and unable to properly care for my children. Can I file for custody in my home state of Texas or do I have to continue to file motions in california? I just want my kids. She refuses to agree with anything any type of shared custody, even though she knows she can’t care for them.

  • Abc

    My husbands ex wife just moved in with her boyfriend. They have broken up twice. She has moved 6 times in the past yr, and now she is back with the same guy. She moved out from his home 4 months ago because she was worried he was going to kill her. Now she gets my husbands and her 6 year old son every weekend. We live in Alaska, and I am curious to know if the courts will decrease her time with the son. Please help me out here! I need info asap as the school year is starting. Some more info- she is convicted felon with drug and theft convictions. She has never payed child support, she has never been in the boys life. She has been “clean” for a year from monthly scheduled uas. She has gotten four different jobs and been fired from them weeks after gaining employment. We have a witness who helped her flee from the boyfriend and she told him that she was afraid for her life, however, the witness is my hubs brother.

  • latrice

    I just got a protection order dismissed on my boyfriend, we have a son that’s two months. I wanted the protection order dismissed to work things out and to try to be a family. I’m currently not working because I’m a full time mom but my boyfriend does work he always tell me I can’t take care of our son because I’m not working and the court will grant him sole custody and I will be the one with visitation rights. I want to work things out and file for joint legal custody when we go get our son legitimize. We plan on moving in together but what should I do? We may not be together for ever. I can’t see myself with my son. I’m a great first time mom.

  • Worried mooma

    My daughter got pregnant thought she was going to be with this person but he left her at 8 mo pregnant and was not present when child was born. His name is not listed as father because they said he had to be present for his name to be listed. He never came back and at one point offered to give up his right if my daughter sent him $75 to make the trip here. We didnt do anything because his name was not on the certificate. Jump ahead 4 1/2 years. Received a certified envelope with a “petition” for joint custody and visits. The petition was not on lawyer head paper and was not notorized or appeared to be from a judge. He lives in Florida my daughter in S.C.. Included was a letter printed by his “wife” (girl he was seeing while with my daughter) but signed by him and made to sound like he was writing it. Telling us he wants pictures and if we dont agree to the petition they would go to court and such…..They are requesting among other things vacation from June 1 to Aug 1 every year. What are his chances of getting visits and joint custody. He has never contributed to her care or even seen the child. Offered to give up rights at one time and lives states away. We are terrified he will get this and afraid for child. Also said he would pay $25 a week and supposedly sent a check seperate envelope which mailed to another address….help!

  • tek

    i have a daughter, shes going on two. her mother never put me on the birth certificate. i have my daughter more than her at times but she threatens me with the police everytime shes in a bad mood. she also claims that she gave her mom FULL custody. Is this possible without my consent, if so what are my steps at securing my rights as a father and or reversing custody. I can take care of my daughter without her so if this is proven can i strip her mom from custody rights if what she is saying is true?? any comments or feedback are extremely appreciated as this is a very stressful situation. thanks in advance

  • CarrieC

    My ex husband and I have 50% joint custody. He was living in the house that we use to share with our children. I moved to the next town over and my children went to the school at my ex’s school district because that is what we agreed on. He said he was temparily moving out of the district but now its permanent. I became displaced because of lead in the paint and now trying to get back to the school district, however the school wants my children to transfer, even though when I have them, we sleep in that town at my moms and they nights i dont have the children i stay with my husband at his parents. Is there an Act that can help me keep them in that school. I live in Vermont if that matters.

  • deana

    my babys father smokes weed and is selling it now annd our baby is 2 weeks old i dont want to be with him anymore cuz he dont want to stop can i get full custoday of our baby

  • B. Porter

    I have a friend who has two children. One she had before she was married and the biological father gave up his parental rights. The other was conceived while she was married. When she and her husband divorced she was told that they would have joint custody but did not read the final papers adequately and her ex-husband ended up getting custody of their son. Because she had no job and was trying to get stable she allowed her son from the previous relationship to stay with his ex-stepfather and baby brother for about 6 months. She has tried to exercise her visitation with her youngest son and to also see her oldest son but her ex-husband has refused to allow her to do this. She has asked him to give her the older child because he is not the child’s parent and has no legal rights to him but he refuses. She went to the sheriff’s department and they said that they couldn’t do anything because it had been 6 months. What legal rights does she have to retrieve her son whom she is the only legal parent of without having to wait to get a hearing in civil court?

  • Amanda

    If i have sole custody and i leave town for a holiday do i have to tell my ex im leaving? Can he charge me with kidnapping?

  • annonmus

    Someone I know has two kids with the guy she divorced last year. He moved out of state shortly after and in the custody agreement he got the kids for half the summer and every other vacation.. just recently he got the kids and when it was time to bring them back he started making false accusations about the childrens moms boyfriend and the children’s own brother (no relation to the ex husband). Because of the accusations the kids can’t go to their mothers house right now but the ex won’t even let her see them when she had nothing to do with any of it. Not only will he not let the kids see anyone but his mother and sister, he took them out of school and is home schooling them. Is that even legal?

  • crin

    I have full physical and joint legal custody of our daughter. My ex is moving out of the country and want to take my 2 year old daughter for a week at a time. His court ordered visitation is tue thu 4-7 and sundays. He hardly ever takes her when he is sapossed to and isn’t very responsible. Do I have to let him take her out of the country? I don’t feel very comfortable with thatand am more than happy to let him visit her here for the day. But he wants no part of that. He says that if he can’t have her for the week he doesnt want her at all.

  • Shauna

    I have been seperated now for 6 months from my husband , we have a 3 yrs old daughter together . She has been living with me the whole time , is very happy child she sees he dad at church on tuesday night , he can call her as much as he likes on the phone up to 7:30pm at night daily , unlimited calls on weekends if he chooses. There’s no legal seperation agreement signed yet as he wont do it doesn’t like a paper trail . He pays child support to me for her. I’ve had her with me for 6 months now is there any way I can get custody of my child without her father consent , could he take her from me when she’s been with me this long ? and can you get a divorce with out the other person signing after 1 year ?

  • Stacy

    When I was 16 I had my son and his his father wasnt there due drugs so now he hasnt been on the birth certificate and hardly wanted to be around us even when I took my son who is now almost 4 and has been the same way sense..as well last two years been in and out of jail for violence… Do I alrwady have full custody with him not being on tje birth certificate or do I need to.get full custody

  • Jacque

    I have had sole custody of my two boys for since 2007. last month my 15 year old ran away and went to his dad’s whom he has not seen since 2007. there was a consent order from the court that stated no contact of any sort betwenn the father and the children. The police said there was nothing I could do. My son now cusses me out on a daily bases and treats me like I am nothing. he refuses to come home. his younger brother whom I have allowed to visit because he misses his brother is being torn in the midst of the situation. I am so afraid of them being hurt again. The father abused them and that is the main reason I got sole custody. what can I do to make my 15 year old come home? I do not recognize the person he has become in less than a month with his father, But I love him and want the best for him, since being with his father he has missed three days of school already and theres only been two weeks since the start of school. My 12 year old son also comes home stating that the 15 year old is hurting him at his dads…but he says that his brother is just disciplining him. what can I do?

  • frustrated and confu

    I live in California and have physical custody but share legal custody with the father of my two boys (4 & 5 yrs old). My preschooler was not accepted into preschool because it was full and now im the one going crazy to find him a preschool. This guy is not involved with the boys school functions, doesnt care what school they go to and wont give me permission to take them to counseling. How can i go about this?

  • sherry wesley

    My son has many health issues. He has had 8 surgeries to date and we are waiting on number 9. My ex and I came to our own agreement reguarding custody and visitation. I currently have sole physical custody with joint legal. I want sole legal custody now. I also want to modify current visitation orders. I live in ca. With my sons medical condition our visitation schedule is written up where my ex is suppose to get every other weekend only during flu season its sat from 9 to 6 and sunday from 9 to 6 no overnights for flu season. During not flu season he is allowed overnights starting sat at 9am to sunday at 6pm. He is allowed the normal holidays in each odd year from 9 to 6. That was ok at first but now my ex has a new job he hardly gets weekend off and since may this past sat was the first sat he has taken. Also he has chosen to do split visits he comes to my home in the morning and then leaves or watches tv in my house while I give our son a nap. After nap he stays for about 2 hours longer and then leaves. He spends about 3 hours per visit. I would like to modify our order to reflect the changes except i would like all 3 hours done in the morning but still at my home. My ex is a recovering drug addict ( I can not prove this) but he is a drinker I feel to the point of being an acholic ( I can prove this he posts on his facebook his drinking) My son needs someone who is alert and functioning always at their best in case he has a seizure or to watch for signs of his breathing being in distress. My ex has had available to him 297 hours of visitation to date and has taken 48 hours 36 of those he spent with me and the other 12 in my home with my son while i was at the store or nail shop less than 5 minutes away. I have been keeping a log book of his days and times he has missed. I have worked with him with his new work schedule as now he has days off during the week and our current order does not allow for week days. My question is Do I have enough change to warrant my request for sole legal custody and a modification of visitation? My son has medical records stacks high from 3 different hospitals so proving his health problems is not a problem. Thanks sherry

    • Loving Mother

      I”m not a lawyer or very well educated with the law but Sherry I have to say that you deserve a pat on the back. I wish more women were as dedicated to their children as you are. It is very hard on a person that has a child with health issues. Not that you love a child any less because they have health problems. But it can cause alot of stress on mom. I would think that your reasons and your well documented visitations should give you a good shot at sole custody and modified visitation. But once again I am not a laywer. I Just want to tell you that I was WOWed by your story. I have seen so many moms even those with children that need the kind of attention yours needs, that abuse and neglect their children. It’s a sad world we live in. When I hear or see a mother that is there for their babies and does what needs to be done with love and attention and affection needed, it just warms my heart. Good luck with your custody battle!

  • shannon

    I have a 9 year old son and have sole custody over him an ex b/f who has been a father figure for 7 years in now demanding visitation rights or custody. If not legal garden or hasn’t adopted my child and there isn’t any doccuments through the courts can he proceed with this in Ontario

  • sara

    in 2008 i had gotten a final restraining order on the father of my kids. also they granded me temp custody of my children and NO parenting time untill furtur order. its now 2011 and he hasent tried to see his kids nor contact me. and i havent recieved child support in 2 yrs. i know he is not willingly going to sign over his rights even tho i would love for him too. therefore, my question is.. whast the best way for me to go about custody. according to my restraining order i already have custody but at any giving time he can ask for visititation… he hasent seen his kids in almost 4 yrs…whast the best/safest custody to suit me and my children. advice anyone???

  • Kayla

    My husband has joint legal custody of his children. We have them in after school activities in out area on our nights with them. His wife refuses to drive out of here area even to half way to put their son in preschool and instead has him in a daycare where she leaves him all day with very little being taught to him while she is home all day. Also she put his 8 year old daughter in basketball that is at 8pm Thursday nights and every Saturday and Sunday during the day. This schdule not only dictates how we have to spend our weekends with the kids, but it also gets her home way past her bedtime on Thursday nights and has tests all day Friday. She did not consult me before signing our daughter up for this activity but had she discussed it with me I would have brought up the fact that our daughter is doing poorly on her tests every week even with getting enough sleep that an activity late the night before her tests is not a good idea. I truely feel that she picked this activity just to control me and get to see the kids on my time with them. We have a custody hearing again next month because she is fighting to take them out of state and her reasoning is that I don’t take them to activities. this is not true as I have made the drive there and put them in activities on my nights near my house it is just an excusse for her to use. She did not sign up for basketball untill after she made this accusation. I think she picked an activity that took so much time away from me on purpose just to make me look bad if I choose not to take her. What can I do legally both about getting my son in a preschool and making the right decision for my daughter without looking like the bad guy in court?

  • Amber

    I am currently sharing joint legal with my ex. He has not given me any support and now wants me to give him my childrens birth certificate and social so he can claim them on his military page two temporairly while he goes out to sea. I refuse to because he still denies me support and it wont last long for their medical benifits then the responsibility will fall on me again. My question to you is if we only established joint legal and his name is not on their birth certificates do I have to give him their info? , will he beable to obtain it w/o me, and If I dont will i be disobeying the courts order.

  • Aligrl

    My fiance has two children with his ex-wife – she received custody of the children and is the one who makes the medical/educational decisions for them (the court awarded this without my fiance present – as her lawyer had given the wrong date to my fiance (just giving a background)) His son recently was diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder (she had previously given verbal ok to have him tested) after testing she rescinded her previous ok – we already have the documents stating his disorder by this time. She know has told my fiance he can no longer take him to any doctor claiming my fiance is just trying to label his son to get paid by disability? craziness…anyway she now is denying us access to get his son the proper treatment for his disability such as speech therapy and social interaction therapy which the psychologist says he desperately needs? what can we do?

  • ai

    if i have full legal and physical custody do i still need my exhusband to give up all his rights for my husband to adopt them? their dad does not pay child support and has no contact with them. if i have to have him give up his rights, what do i if he has no legit address and i can’t find him?

  • Loving Father

    I met my sons mother 5 yrs ago, a year later we had a son. Since then we have been on and off in this relationship. In the later part of 2008 she was evicted and I took my son in my home. She visited frequently and in the beginning of 2009 found another place, in less than 6 months my son was back with me just because she didn’t have time for him. We still continued our on again off again relationship because I wanted to stay a part of my sons life. I put in school, he got to know every body on the block adults and children he is the life of my whole family. She threatend a few times to take him from my home when we were having problems and one time in Sept 2009 she brought the police and they said because I was not on the birthcertificate or had established paternity I had to turn him over to her. Well, a week later she brought him back and left him again. With the help of my family I provided all that he needed not asking or getting any assistance from her. She visited but very seldom took him with her when she left. She again got evicted and for a short time around the christmas holidays stayed in my mothers home with us. 2010 comes and the situation is still the same so he remained with me while she lived with her grandmother or any place she chose. She was always welcomed into my mothers home so that she could as much time as she wanted and even make the holidays a joint family celebration. She finally said she would let me keep him and there would be no problem with me keeping him if we got married. Well, low and behold I trusted her and in Feb. 2011 agreed to marry her. We never lived together after the marriage and in July we had an argument, she called the police and told them she wanted our son and again I was told she being his mother and there was no custody agreement I had to again give him to her and go to court and file a motion to get him back. I filed a motion for emergenc custody but was told that m not on the birthcertificate and paternity not established I had to first have her served with my intentions and wait for a court day can they do this even if the child has my first and last name and we are legally married?

  • Lori

    Me and my ex( we were not married) have a son who will be 5 in Nov, he took me to court about 3 years ago and at the time I was living with my parents, had no job or a car ( I was a stay at mom while we were together) he got temporary custody of our son and I had visitation 1 day of the week and every other weekend. We had a court date to settle who got what, either we got joint or one of us got sole. I wasn’t able to get him for a few months and now I’m back on my feet and want to get him on my weekends but he says no, is the temporary custody papers still good? An if not do either one of us have custody? What can I do to get my time back with my son?

  • amy

    my husband has a joint custody of 14-year old daughter with his ex-wife. She has been changing the visitation schedule non-stop and my husband would like me to take over the negotiation process. Do I have a legal right in this matter in California? can a 14 year old girl decide where she wants to live with? Since the ex-wife threatens us that she will get a lawyer to get the sole custody, what should we do if my husband and I still want to continue the joint custody?

  • amy

    I might need to get to you regarding the appointment because i have to go now. Thanks. Please let me know how I can contact you again. Thanks

  • amy l

    I have been with my fiance for about 2 years. We live in Tennessee and between the two of us have 4 wonderful children. When we first started dating him and his ex-wife were going by the divorce paperwork. Custody agreement is he sees them every other weekend, and 10 other weeks throughout the year. Everything was good, we all got along very well. Then she started changing (not for the better). She would start calling and ask if she could drop them off on her weekend, sometimes she would call in the middle of the week and tell us something had come up and she needed to drop them off. We never turned them away. Then they started coming with head lice. We would treat them, and when we sent them home, we would send the stuff and tell her she needed to follow up with a treatment in 7 days. We would also tell her that we spent all weekend washing bedding and all that lovely stuff you need to do. We would tell her she needs to be doing the same thing since they are at her house most of the time. She claims she was doing all this, but when they would come back they would have it bad again. This continued for some time. She then lost her job (due to drug use), started doing side jobs (who knows what they were). I kept saying “shes about to hit rock bottom”. Thats exactly what happened, her and her husband were spending all their money on pills, and before you knew it her cell phone was shut off so we couldn’t get a hold of her. We had people call us one night and tell us they were worried about the boys. So we took a trip out to KY where they lived and they were no where to be found, and there was an eviction notice on thier door. We followed all the tips we got from friends and family and found them the next morning at a hotel in TN. At that point she realized this was not the best enviornment for the boys and told us to take them. We didn’t hear a word from her for about 3 weeks after this. We got the kids enrolled in school with my children, and have them all situated and in a stable living enviornment. They have been here for about 3 months and doing great in school. She has managed to get another phone and calls them, she has stopped by the house a few times and stayed and spent time with them, and has taken them for a weekend. They are moving around from hotel to hotel. The reason I am writing is because recently she called and asked if she could take them this coming weekend. She was supposed to take them last weekend but we wouldnt lend her the money for a hotel and so her and her husband were sleeping in her car. This weekend I guess she will have the money for a hotel and wanted to take them for the weekend. We explained that we already had tickets for all of us to an event and that this weekend wouldn’t work. She got mad because she wasn’t getting her way, and has threatened that “fine you can have them this weekend but next weekend you can pack up all thier stuff and they are coming back with me”. I told my fiance when all this started that we needed to see a lawyer. He kept saying that she would never do anything like this, that she is happy to be able to party all the time now. Well here we are, I don’t want to see these boys going from hotel to hotel, they are doing so well in school right now. We live about 2 hours from where she is right now. Does he have any rights because they have been here and going to school for the last 3 months? I assume no, that it will all need to be done legally, but just wanted to get some input. Thanks!

  • monica

    i have a 3month old daughter. the father broke up with me a month ago. he kept the apartment. my baby and i had to move out to my mothers untill we find an apartment for us. hes always been very emotionally verbally abusive to me. we have had physical fights b4 our daughter was born and twice when she was born. he head butted me while i was holding her when she was not even a month old. hes also threatned me with kidnapping her and so forth. he has a past of addiction and when i became pregnant he went to rehab. up untill she was three months he bought her formula once and water twice. it was always me buying diapers formula wipes and all her needs. clothes and so forth. since he broke up with me he gives me money when he can. but he makes almost 500 a week. im scared to take him to court because i dont want her to stay overnights with him. our plan was he pick her up saturdays and sundays between 8am to 9am while im at work at my moms. the earliest he has picked her up has been 1130am. and i feel like hes using again. when he watches her i know shes safe because his family is all there. i dont want her to stay over night with him because i dont trust him. i know he smokes weed and i think hes snorting pills again. i have proof that he is using suboxone. and he does not get it perscribed. he denies it still. even with pictures of empy wrappers he has left in the apartment when we were living there. i dont know what to do. im scared to say anything because im scared of him and i dont want her to stay over his place. i want full custody and he just visit her saturdays and sundays while im at work from 6am to 4pm. what should i do?

  • Newmom

    My ex boyfriend filed for physical custody of our 5 month old son is there anyway a judge will give him physical custody? we both live in California and he does not work, I work and have my own apartment

  • Kelly

    My question may be kind of hard to answer. My brother and his ex-wife have a two year old child together. Christmas Day of last year we noticed that my niece had been abused. My brother took her to the Police Department and the mother lost custody. My brother was given temporary custody and a state trooper overruled the judge. My brother is still going to court for custody as the child has been given to the mother’s dad. Does he have a chance of getting custody since the mother has told lie after lie? We go to court in November, but the county looks at my brother as the bad guy, and the child was in the mother’s care, and the mother lied about my niece being abused, she said she fell off the bed. Thank you for your response.

  • Roxy

    I have had full custody of a relatives child for 8 years. The parents have very little contact, they have been in and out of jail, abuse drugs and alcohol, no stability. Do you think any judge would even consider visitation? I would like to terminate parental rights and adopt the child. Do you think a judge would be favorable to adoption is this circumstance?

  • Reed

    My Fiance has his daughter because he felt it unsafe to give her back upon the return of her to her mother, needless to say police were called and the officer told her and him that he couldn’t him release the child to her, now we have her and I want to know what steps need be taken next because she is missing school and if we need to put her in school I would like to know what steps to take.

  • E

    I have sole legal custody of my 3 children In New York State – I have wanted to get their passports – will I be able to do so without the fathers signature ? Or do I have to go to court to get this appointed ? He will not sign passport papers and has lived in another state for 7 years now.

  • Klo

    I have a friend that has been living with her 18 month son at her friends house. She recently moved in with her boyfriend and her friends doesn’t want her to take the baby with her. My friend is considering giving this girl residential custody of her son. The baby spends the weekend with my husband and I once in awhile and the friends doesn’t like that. If this girl gets residential custody can she keep the baby from spending the weekend with mom at her boyfriends house or with me?

  • brandi

    all i what to know is when u go to court for child custody and support do u have to have proof of income from both parents to be able to set how much u pay ???

  • angela

    Please I need help. my sister and i have always had issues and she has always wanted to take my son and she wished he was her son. I am lost and it seams like the system is failing me what are my leagle rights on my son I have soul custody of him and he ran away on friday and went to my sister’s and now she won’t give him back and the police won’t bring him home cause he wants to stay what can I do to bring him back home and can i send him to a military school and make them keep him? My sister has no legal rights to him and can I get a restraining order on my sister

  • Judy

    My son has epilepsy. He resided in Tennessee for 4 years or so but has had many seizures while there. He applied for Tenncare?? and was denied. He was making 10 an hour and couldn’t get constant medical care nor his medication. He finally made the decision to move home where his mother is also disabled where he will qualify for the basic medical care in the county. While in Tennessee he lived with a young lady for about 2 years and together they had my granddaughter who is atm 2 years old. The mother is not a competent mother in the eyes of her family in Tennessee and from a visit and documented crazy behavior online she is neglecting the granddaughter. She has no money and no job but conitues to lie. She will not give the father the address where his daughter lives…. I could go on about the lies she creates and tells people. I am not talking normal whitle lies but as an example she told me right to my face that she was being considered as a cover girl model but couldn’t go thru with flying to Texas because she found out she was pregnant. This woman has NO modeling experience. She also told a cousin of ours on a visit at Easter time that she managed a trucking company in Nashville. She is 21 now and I know she can’t manage a trucking company as no family is in the business of trucking. Whle on a visit here she never bathed, brushed her child’t teeth and meals were bananas two for breakfast! and energy bars. Meals at night were a can of chefboyardee. or frozen food. On a second visit to Calif. she packed the child with nasty stinky shoes as she never puts socks on her child. No tooth brush and it just shows the care she receives at home. She now lives in a basement with a new boyfriend. She is just not mature in any way. She bragged online about getting rid of her daughter when my son wanted to bring her for a brief visit as he could not afford to take time off of work or he could lose his job. She then went out to a bar leaving my granddaughter at an address with her current boyfriend the very day her daughter came home after 4 days away. She became intoxicated and showed up at my sons door hoping for a rendezvous. Basically she was driving inebriated. She is currently having back problems and has actually told my son that she is selling her food stamps to get cash to buy narcotics. Some people I have heard contacted CPS in Tennessee and they blew it off as a family disagreement I guess??? No action was taken. He wants custody of his daughter but has to still get a job in California. In this economy I can’t expect he will earn enough to fly back and forth for court fighting. Can he file in California? He can’t drive until he is on his medication which he will finally have in a couple of months to get a job. There is little to no public transportaion where we live…. just looking for a little help. The mother has also threatened myself and my daughter that we will never see her or talk to her again. I have done nothing but stay neutral with no complaints to the mother…. knowing that this could happen so I stayed sickenly sweet to a woman I really don’t care to know. Help? Can he file in California or is there any of the above issues that might help him get something helpful done in California? Thank you for your time and I am greatful I found your site.

  • ian

    My daughter is 10 and my ex and i have shared physical and joint custody since she was 4. Ahe wants to move and change heer school because ahe lost her house because she stopped paying. I want her to stay in school wherw she is at but my ex think she can just switch her which will impact me being able to pick her up and take her to school. Can i go to court and file something to stop her and let a judge hear the case?

  • My husband has a baby due in December and the mother wants to give of rights to the baby and have nothing to do with it, since he is signing the birth certificate can we just take the baby back home to another state and then file the paperwork with the courts where she lives to get full legal custody of the baby then or do we have to wait? What papers should he file and what papers should we have her file since she wants to terminate her rights to the baby? Please help thanks!!!

  • michelle

    question.. i have 50/50 placement of my 2 sons BUT for the last 2 years since there dad has moved out of town (an hour away) i have kept the boys & he has come down 2x a week to see them & feed supper (sometimes even havin the nerve to use my FOOD).. over the course of this time, i have opened my home to their father for the sake of my kids. many times he is here with them prior to me getting home from work.. i hang out in my bedroom, so not to interfere with their time together. I have asked on several occasions for him to help with breakfast foods & milk.. i think i have gotten 2 gallons this whole time.
    the kicker was for me when i left work early to come home to see my boys cuz of it being my youngest birthday.. knowing he was going to be down to get them for the next couple days( no school) an he couldnt even wait for me to get there.. left with the boys before i even got home.. a half hour difference in time.
    im furious… i think its time for a change
    any suggestions?
    he tells me that he can take them to stay at someone elses place when it is to be his time with them, so not to interfere with school…
    is that legal to do with 50/50?

  • Tiffany

    My boyfriend and i share a beautiful 16 month old boy, (my boyfriend and i just recently starting working things out, but during the time we weren’t together we went to the district attorneys office and filed for child support and custody of our baby boy) Any way my boyfriends mother and sister both do heavy hardcore drugs and have threatened me numerous times. His sister is currently 6 or 7 months pregnant and still drinking and doing drugs. I don’t think its a good idea for my son to be around them. When they come home after doing drugs they don’t ever function properly and the sister lost her child due to her neglect of the child. Is there any form of legal action i can take against his mother and sister so they wont be able to see or come near my child? I have many concerns about my child’s safety. The sister and mother are not safe for my child to be around.

  • jane

    My 2 year old daughter’s father filed a protection from abuse order against me. There were allegations of neglect, potential abuse, and drug addiction. We were not married nor did we have a legal custody agreement. He was granted temporary custody as a result. I hired a lawyer, filed a motion to dissolve the order, and wrote an affidavit refuting every claim he made, along with what eye-witness or piece of evidence i would be presenting. Furthermore, i expressed my concerns about his parenting and have evidence to back up my concerns. We had the hearing, where he dropped the protection order in exchange for 50/50 custody. He admitted during the conference with myself and my lawyer that he had only started this when i notified him that i was taking a new job and moving. Here is what happened when I informed him of that. I told him that I was moving 5 miles further from his home than where I had been living, offered for him to come to the house and see everything since she would be with me there half of the time, and I also let him know that we would have the same schedule as a result of my new job, so our custody arrangement would have to change. Our custody arrangement had been that i had her all day while he worked, and he had her all night while i worked. We did this seven days a week. I suggested that we split the week up equally with three days each and one alternating day in light of my new schedule. He informed me that since I had created the conflict by taking this job, that i would have to figure it out and he wouldn’t be changing anything. As in my daughter would go to daycare five days a week, see him at night, and only see me on the weekends. I felt that what I requested was very reasonable and my new job pays substantially more; which is why i was moving since i could afford something better. He’s been completely unreasonable, irrational, and manipulative since i moved out last spring. He told me he wasn’t agreeing to new custody arrangements and he wasn’t going to talk to about it then told me to get out of his house. I stood up to him, for once, and let him know that he would not be taking away my time from my daughter. The job would afford us a better life and my suggestion would afford us all equal time together. I told him to think about what he wanted to do for daycare and decide when he wanted to talk about it, because he had to talk about it. I would not agree to two days a week with my daughter simply because he was bitter and was trying to hurt me, when I’ve been more than fair and flexible even though many times I should not have been. To get back to the case, he agreed to drop the order if I agreed to joint custody. I agreed, but only after he agreed to my arrangement, as I wanted our time to be equal. He agreed to sign it. But he also had admitted to my lawyer earlier that he figured he was going to show up, walk away with sole custody, and I would never get to see my daughter again. I believe he dropped it because he was not prepared to fight against me that day and because he could still file for custody. I agreed to it because I knew that I wanted to file for custody if I wasn’t granted it that day, and because basically took my daughter from me for three weeks without a warning. He expressed no concerns to me beforehand. The judge would not allow it to be dropped unless I filed the parental rights and obligations paperwork. Also, prior to this day, the judge had received my motion to dissolve, and combined our hearings, and would not let me drop my motion (which did request temporary sole custody) either. We currently have a hearing in december for the interim order for custody that we created that day. He has since informed me that I just had to wait and see what he was going to do about the fact that I have any custody over our daughter. He also admitted that he had lied about the allegations. But he is going to try to gain custody. My issue is that the protection order and motion to dissolve were not heard in court because it was resolved without the hearing. I know that I have a very strong case with evidentiary support and testimony while he could not possibly have any because a lot of his allegations were just his own feelings, or things that happened when she was in my care and he would not be able to actually say happened because clearly he would not have been there to verify it had. My case is solid, but he did file a restraining order alleging some pretty terrible things. I would like joint physical custody and sole legal custody, as I truly don’t believe he can make rational decisions concerning our daughter anymore. I want us to have the same arrangement we have now, with equal time with our daughter, but I believe I should be able to have the final say in her life. He’s so uncooperative and wants to have control over our lives. I remain open to his suggestions and opinions because he has every right to express them and i would take them into account if valid because it’s in our daughter’s best interest. I do not believe he can look beyond the anger he feels towards me in order to make a rational or responsible decision concerning our daughter. What are the chances of me getting that kind of custody?

  • Stacy

    My son’s father & I have joint rotating custody in Florida. We have always been flexible with each other and swapped time as needed. Dad has a new girlfriend and now things are getting ugly. My son is 15 would like to do some things with his friends, even if they fall on dad’s weekend, like Homecoming, football games and birthday parties. Since now dad won’t change time with me to allow my son to go, is he old enough to just refuse to go with dad for a day? Will I get in trouble if he doesn’t go? I am imagining dad showing up with the police to forcibly take his son and I really don’t want to break the law in any way. Any help is appreciated.

  • SS

    My ex had sole custody of our daughter until last year when he dropped her off at the sitter and said he didn’t want her and I could have her. He knew I was in the middle of relocating at that time and did not raise in issue about me moving her out of state. Now he’s filing paperwork to get his legal custody back and wants the judge to order that the child be moved back to her state of BIRTH. We’ve been in our new state for almost a year now. Can I be ordered to relocate my daughter back to Hawaii from Oregon?

  • LeAnn

    I live in Kentucky, my ex and I share joint custody of our son. We agreed to let his parents be the primary residential custodians. Two years ago, my ex went to prison and will not get out until our son is 15. He signed a notarized paper agreeing to let our son live with me and visit his grand parents. His grandparents will not let me take my son. What are my rights? Could you please give me advice on what I can do? I really do not want to take them to court, because I know they care for my son very much, but I am his mother and it states his father and I are the decision makers. This is very confusing, your comments or help will be greatly appreciated.

  • laurie maher

    i have had my son now for the past 11/2 weeks as she has split with her partner and she had the kids but since in her care her car has been spray painted and burnt out and now the kids are frightened to stay with her my son refuses to go back so he has been with me but i need to get him back into a routine but he is afraid that mum will take him from his new school there are no papers in force and im trying to see if she can just take him out without my permission as i am trying to get leagle papers to give me access as she wont let me see them if my son goes back i need some advice please

  • JV


  • Yensis

    My situation is: I have a 4 year old daughter and I have never been married. My daughter’s father and I share my daughter every other week. I have always wanted to have custody of my daughter so she could go to school where I live because her father lives in a different district. Her father will not agree. Anytime I try to talk about our daughter going to school he is always very hostile. He also has a sex offender record. I want to move from Delaware to Florida to live with my best friend because she has a very stable life I feel would be good for my daughter and me. What happens if my daughter’s father agrees to the move, but then changes his mind after we move and lies about not agreeing. There is no paperwork for custody. Is there a chance that if he says I lied about him agreeing to our move that they would take my daughter away from me? Will I have to travel back to Delaware for court? I will appreciate the help!!

  • Sarah

    I have a 3 1/2 yr old, I have been in C.T for work, but normally I am in M.E which is where my daughter has been sence I have been working. I am now about 2 go back 2 maine 2 see her and now her father is not allowing me 2 c her. what shld I do? I have filed 4 coustdy but it has not made a date yet?

  • maria

    I’ve ben wanting to get full custody of my kid the fathedoes not come around due to his relationship with another person he is currently paying child support but is 3 months behin. Not to mention the father is constinatly in an out of jail. An has a background historyfor being violent. He tends to threaten me about custody..bbuth I have also supported an have tookin care of child alone for about 3 years..so iamm wondering what are my chances on that.

  • shaina

    My parents are the guardians for my child and have filed for child support. Recently the father of my child filed for termination of guardianship and requests 50/50, unsure if it is because he doesnt want to pay child support (although it seems that way) or if he really wants more time with my child. However I plan on moving, to further not only my education but my childs education as well. What can I do to convince that moving is in the best interest of my child. We live on an island, and the education appears to be below average of state side students, also medical availability is very low. I really want to provide the best for my child. But her father seems to think otherwise. What can I do to gain sole legal and physical custody?

  • where do i turn

    i have sole custody. I was told by my ex mother-in-law that my ex husband will be in jail for about two months he lives with his mother and has visit with the children every other weekend. The weekend that he was suppose to have them was his first weekend in jail. So on that note I figured he is in jail visits would be put on hold till he got out. His mother and sister called up on the next weekend that would be his visit and said they would be up at 830pm to pick up the children. There was a call placed back they we had already made plans for the weekend. They got upset and called the police saying we were not following the divorce paperwork. It was told to the officer that he was in jail.The officer said ok and hung up. So some more calls came in and messages were left on the answering machine. Then on Monday there was a message left on the answering machine that they were going to the court house to get visitation cause we are not letting them see the children but when the ex gets out in another month the visit will start back up. We live in Maine the grandmother can see the grandchildren if she would call and ask nicely and not call tell us that she is coming up at bed time. An on top of it think it’s ok to take the children to the jail to see their father when they don’t even know he is in jail. We have ask her not to tell them or not to take them there to the jail. So my Question is does she have a legal case or do I have a legal case, do we wait for my ex to get out of jail before the children go back down? We’ve (my fiancee & myself) compromising with her but it’s her way or no way. Please Help We are lost. We also want the children to be happy and they like to see her. We want them to spend healthy time with her.

  • Payton

    My girlfriend slept around on me, i was told by countless people that she had slept with a certain 5 people other than me, and even by her, within a weeks time of when she would have got pregnant. Now i have doubts whether or not the child is mine. Shes taking me to court for support, i am demanding a paternity test which i will most likely be paying for. If the child is mine, i really would love to be there for her. My ex is telling me that by getting a dna test i am granting her full custody of the child. She is threatening to move so that i am unable to see her but she still expects me to pay child support. my questions are, what will happen with child support? and Am i granting her full custody by getting a dna test? Also i have not been there since the babys birth in may but that is because i was planning to get a restraining order against the ex until i was told she was pregnant with my child, shes crazy and i have no interest in being anywhere near her i am only talking to her because i need to due to court, and i am pretty sure that the child is not mine

  • Anna

    I have primary physical custody of my 4 year old son (he’s lived with me since birth) and my ex has visitation. I just recently filed a protective order against my ex. I have a hearing for a long term protective order in which I will request protection for my son and a modification to the visitation arrangements. I’ve contacted OCS regarding my safety concerns for my son when he is with his father. I plan on moving in a year. What do I need to do, if anything, before I do that? Our custody and visitation schedule has provisions for a moving parent included.

  • Kristen Johnson

    If your child has lived with their father for half their life and with their mother for half their life, and they are currently 17 and they want to move in with someone, but their father has legal custody of them and agrees, but he recently moved to another state with his current girlfriend, does the mother have any say if he agrees to her moving out?

  • ok so my sons dad and i have spilt and i had just found his birth fam..well his sister that he has only seen twice in 20 years, the 2nd time he seen her, he moved in with her.OK so now he is in nashville and my son and i are in knoxville, he wants my son to travel back and forth with him and his sister, is this possible even tho my sons dad sleeps on his sisters couch and she is on 6 years prob?? i just want what is best for my son and being arounf those people, is not what i approve of..is there anything i can do to keep my baby in knoxville while his dad comes here to see him cause i really do not want my baby 300 miles away from me??

  • Amelia

    Ok so I am married to my childs father, whom is in the ARMY. If we seperate and I move back to my home town which is across the US. How would that work, would she have to go stay with him or what would happen she is 3 years old. I have always did the taking care of her, he wouldnt have the first clue what to do with her by himself. any info is appreciated!

  • dee

    My daughters father lives in Florida. The judge told him in order for him to get visitation he has to come back to jersey and go thru mediation. That was months ago. Can i go back to court and file for sole custody since he is making no attempt to see my child, not to mention he doesn’t pay his child support and owes over$5500.

  • I have two questions that I would like to ask:

    1). I have a son in Minneapolis and I live in Virginia Beach. I would like to have joint physical custody. I am on SSI. The mother and I are OK..But you never know. What do I file?
    2). I am married now and my wife has a daughter that she gave custody to her parents. She is having a terrible time living with them now, she is even in JDC. We want custody of her before she goes even further down the wrong road. I also am considering adoption…If she gets custody. Do we just file for a Guardian Ad Litem”..we also want an emergency Ex Parte order because of domestic violence. What do we do? Help!

  • dani

    I got into an agreement with my ex fiancé, where he will grant me full custody of my baby… we are from different countries if I ever decide to leave to another country do I have to go to court again so that I take my baby with.me…

  • jason

    i have a 5month old daughter, and her mother and I are not together. my daughter lives with me full time, although her mother does not admit it. her mother says she does everything. while i financially provide everything, except formula which WIC provides. she doesn’t take care of my daughter the one or two times she gets her a month, and my daughter doesn’t want to go to her. my daughter is with me every night and every day.. if her mother comes its for roughly a 30min visit. do i have a chance of getting custody if it went to court.

  • ybarra

    My daughter is 3 months old had her father has never wanted anything to do with her since the beginning. I want to go out of town will I need his permission if he’s not even on her birth certificapape
    On another note: do I have to go to court if he is willing to sign over sole custody and physical custody? And when those papers are signed will I have to allow him visitation right to her if I want to collect child support? I live in the Texas.

  • Needs Help

    My ex-husband and I have joint custody. I have physical custody and he has visitation. Two days ago my ex came to my house to drop off the kids after his visitation. We were supposed to meet at the police department, but I had recently had surgery so he showed up at my house. While he was here he started yelling and cursing at me and slammed my door. My fiancee heard him from another room and followed him outside to tell him that he needed to stop being mean to me. My ex then pulled a gun out of his front pocket and waved it in my fiancees face while me and my 3 kids watched from the window. After he left we called the police and then obtained protective orders for my fiancee and i against my ex. He keeps threatening to kill himself and us (my fiance and I). Is there a way too keep him from having his visitation with the kids since he pulled a gun in front of them and is threatening us?

  • Brian

    My exwife and I recently got divorced. Well before she left she took our 3 kids and left the state meet a new guy and got married. She has also been getting protection orders against me and my children. I havent seen them in 10 months. I wasn’t able to make a court date 6 states away and they ordered the protection order for 2 yrs. even tho I havent seen them or her she can just walk into a courtroom and claim someone hurt you and your children. Well since she never showed up to court for our divorce I was awarded custody. But the protection order overrides the custody order. I would like to press charges for bigamy since she remarried before we were divorced. I am worried what will happen to my children if she goes to jail and there is a protection order against me and my children.

  • DaDent

    I have joint legal, primary physical custody of my two children. Since the divorce I have since gotten remarried and my husband just got a job offer that would have us relocate from Maryland to California. The Divorce and cusotdy/child support orders are out of SC. The divorce order reads that the kids live with me in Md. The ex is over $6000.00 in back child support and doesnt take them for his scheduled visitation, in addition to having an active bench warrant for 6 months. Do I need his permission to move?

  • Danielle

    I have joint legal custody and primary physical custody of my two children. Since the divorce and custody agreement I have gotten remarried and my husband has a job offer that would have us relocate from Maryland to California. The originial order was written up in SC where the children and I lived at the time of the divorce. The ex-husband is over $6000.00 in back child support, gives up his scheduled visitation and has had an active bench warrent in SC for 6 months. Would I need the permission of the ex-husband to move?? If so is there a way to have custody order changed, given his lack of interest in his children and neglect of his own personal responsiblities ( bench warrent, and suspended drivers license) ???

  • kenneth

    I have had my children for the past 3 years. My wife and I have separated but not legally and she now resides for the last 6 months in California. She has been allowed to take them for visitation over the holiday break from school. Now she is telling me that she is going to file for custody in California. What can I do to get my children back in this state so I can proceed with the divorce and custody?

  • Brittany

    my daughter is almost 2 and her father and i are unmarried and splitting. I started working a few months ago but was and still am the primary caregiver. He wants to fight me for joint physical and legal custoday can he win this? I want primary phyisical and joint legal custoday.

  • cornellian99

    My son’s father is filing for primary physical care and joint custody. I have the baby now..I was the stay at home mom raising the baby he would only see the baby 2-3 hrs a night. He has a criminal record drug paraphanelia , marijuana possession. I was trying to leave the state of iowa and the father whom we were never married , but did sign the birth certificate served me a temp. injunction to not be able to leave the state of iowa with the baby. All my family are they and he abandoned us! I called the cops on him when he was getting abusive first he kicked my cat then was in my face yelling and I called the cops he left the cops never came to my house i waited and they said they called but no answer I never received missed calls and no report only the call was taken. 3 days later when i went to go get money from him and he did not want to return to the house the watch the baby he called the police on me making up lies saying i was hitting him and being rough with the baby all lies otherwise they would have arrested me or taken the baby true? Anyway I want to know there has been history of domestic violence but no police reports only 3 woman who know of the abuse by me telling them. They will be willing to go to court with me to testify if needed for me. I want to know if I get sole custody can I leave the state of Iowa or do I still need consent from the father. I don’t want him taking my son since the father ‘s brother is a pedophile molested him my son is only 21 mths can’t talk to tell me what is happening. I am waiting for the judge to decide I want supervised visits for this reason and he brings my son to unsafe places like the wood burning stove at his mother’s house does not have a baby gate around it…he smokes and smokes pot so does his friends! I have to prove all this I guess. I will let him see his son in my house but he doesn’t call or want to come here so it is not that i am being non cooperative. I just don’t want him to take my son to unsafe places where I can’t monitor and besides the fact that we are still breastfeeding.

    Also I was trying to leave the state since, all my family is on the east coast and i have no place to stay here and the furnace was broke where we were staying and then the wood stove was behind another door so it was safe not where the baby could get to it was smoking and grates collapsed and couldn’t light fire in the winter me and baby were freezing. I am a city girl can’t light the stove the tray was stuck and full of ashes and started to smoke.. I also took pictures and got a statement from the fire department saying it was unsafe besides the father’s (grandfather of my son’s rental house the house we were staying at was being signed over to the bank forclosed. Because of all this and no money from the father , no heat, he abandoned us, and foreclosed home i had no choice but to leave the state out of necessity! I couldn’t pay rent / he was the income! He did beat me to filing for papers, which i was going to do in Indiana and do the restraining order there but the day before I was served papers so never got a chance to do it..and my legal aid said if you do it it will hurt my case look like a grab for custody so i never did it. i did though stay in a domestic violence shelter for almost a month..until i was approved for welfare and section 8 housing. He is only trying to get primary physical care to get out of paying child support and i did serve hiim court papers for child support. He is now contesting the amount per his attorney saying to not include the overtime meanwhile he is a construction worker and all he gets is ot..consistently and regularly never once have i not know him to NOT get ot. I am so pissed…living on welfare sucks 361 a month! instead of getting like 790 but we wil have to see what judge say about the child support he is just dragging it out until we go to court. We have mediation, but it will be over in 3 mins since I do not agree what he wants jt custody and ppcare. I want sole custody and ppcare and supervised visits. He did sign a paper addressing his child molesting brother he will supervise my son when around him and all the other things about not smoking around him., watching him around hot wood stove with no gate, nails and aluminum siding on the front lawn of his farmer dad’s house and rusty rabbit cages where my son can get tetanus for he had allergic rxn to vaccine at 2 mths. but it was on thanksgiving he signed it and we did not have 3rd party / witness and he said he would go notarize it with me but lied just to get his son for the holiday and now won’t do it. Is that paper still good in court i did file it with the court even if he did n’t go notarize it I did by myself cuz it is all true! I hope i have a good case to get my son and leave the state of Iowa and remain my son’s primary care giver. When he was home I did mostly all the work for the baby he only did it if I asked him to change a diaper or feed him never on his own nor even get on the floor and play with my son I played with him all he cared about was smoking cig/ and pot and getting stoned sitting and watching tv too busy to play with his son even when a damn commercial came on.

    Anyway, I don’t have a lawyer yet legal aid was full and i am looking through the VLP. All he has is bully me telling me what i have to do that i Have to let him see him every other weekend, but we have no court order yet or court date only mediation first then court date but date for child support contesting. He works so much he gets to see his son for 2-3 hours and he still wanted to work on Sat. and not spend time with his son and all of a sudden he wants my son. He is 29 me 36 and he lives with two guy roomates, me i have my own place section 8 housing but I really want to be able to leave state and I don’t know if I can do so b/c I KNOW HE WILL CONTEST IT UNTIL THE END. EVEN EVERY OTHER WEEKEND AND 1 WEEKDAY WAS MINIMUM HE SAID HE WOULD ACCEPT but i said that is up to the judge to bad for you if he says that is REASONABLE AND LIBERAL VISITATION.

    I just hope i get to leave here for xmas I petitioned to do so to leave the state for the holidays with my family since he had him for thanksgiving, but so far no response . I just hope i get to leave Iowa period, he can come visit the baby in Indiana supervised only is what i want judge to grant me hoping he will believe me about domestic violence with no police reports just the 3 woman 3 years ago when it started way before I got served court papers and the phone call I first made to the police the other he called on me was a retaliation/ lies instructed by his lawyer to do on me when i never did anything he made it up and police came and never arrested me or anything just spoke to me and let me leave home with baby. He never came back after that day he abandoned us when i was asking him for money for food/ gas/ and for him to watch the baby so I can leave the house to get on internet to apply for section 8 cuz i was planning on leaving him for a while now and had no time to do it with the baby since i watch him all day/ night no break until father come home.

    Any info please let me know. It is in the child;s best interest to not be around a non reg. sex offender when the father tells me still my son will be around sick uncle doug and I am just not okay with that at all supervised or not…yeah when he goes to work full time his mother is going to not let her son in the pedophile or his sister i think not..so now he does not even call to see his son nor will i let him take him. i think it’s in the child;s best interest to not be around a pedophile in the family, I can still raise him full time / father works and his family don’t believe in taking my son to the doctor I do! They eat junk food unhealthy food..artificial colors and preservatives his mother had breast cancer got her breast cut off she is old 63 and arthritic and has scoliosis yeah she is going to be able to run after my son and pick him up with all her problems and gout! His sister is anorexic and has 4 kids of her own what atttention will my son get say if the judge gives him primary physical care these are the people that would raise him and in unsafe environment both have wood burning stoves not baby gated nor are the homes child proof with plastic plugs in electrical sockets. Besides the biggest threat to my son the pedophile in the family non reg. sex offender the family protects him for he is kind of retarded mentally but they don’t want to admit that nor did they ever take him to doctor to be diagnosed a 45 yr old pervert… staring at his sister’s little girls who are baptist who wear skirts staring at their panties… you think if she was a good mother after her brother told her about what his brother did to him she would NOT let her children around him or PUT SHORTS on under the skirts no she is stupid and lets her brother come to all sorts of functions! Messed up in the head if you ask me! Besides when the police pulled my son’s father over he was driving without a driver;s license since January. He never pays his bills on time we had a 700 dollar electric bill disconnect notices. water disconnect notices! he is unreliable, immature, want to stay out and party with his friends and smoke cig/ pot..now i know he is not going to smoke pot since i am going to tell judge that he is going to play it clean for the custody battle! I don’t know what to do.. any advice/ help let me know thanks

  • lola

    im seperated we have been seperated for 4 years We have a daughter who is 4 yr old my ex moved out of state in march 2011 i get my daughter from the may 31 til august 31 and all school breaks i pay child support we have joint custody but my daughter lives with my ex she has not worked all year and wants her boyfriend who is head of house hold claim my daughter. if my ex can’t claim my daughter would i get the next option to claim her or would her boyfriend have the next option even if i don’t ok it?

  • mommy of 2

    this is not really a question fo rme but more of a curiosity… my brother and his ex girlfriends have 2 yr old triplet girls. when they were born she was still married to her ex husband so my brother had to go threw the court wringer to establish paternity which he did. now 2 yrs later they have a an agreement for custody not written in papers by court! he gets the girls everyother wknd. but he can see them whenever she doesnt mind if he calls during the week and wants them to do somthing w them. shes flexable. . this has worked for 2 yrs for them and now 2 days before x mas my brother gets a letter in the mail from her mother so the girls grandma saying she is suing him for joint custody of the girls. basiccally the papers said she thinks he should have no rights. and if somehting happends to the girls mom she gets custody not my brother. my brother is not to consernd she will win bc my brother has always been there for those girls never as done anything that would cause concern he is an excellent father. now when they go to court he wants to counter sue for sole custody. the mother lives in a little trailer with her new b.f who she is 7 mo pregnant by so this is her 5th child. and has no job nothing. my brother pays her 90 a wk in support. My brother has a job a car gives those girls everything they need and is stable in there life. he does still live wiith my parents but there is plenty of room for the girls and my parents want them there. The mother and grandma smoke around them constantly which they were premies about 3 months so it really affects them they r always sick bc they constantlly smoke around them. When they come to my brothers for the wknd they reek of ashtray, they have bags under there eys like they havent slept in days. i dont think they get what they need from her at all. I guess im wondering what r the chances the granma will get anywhere with this joint custody thing and what r the chaces my brother will get these amazing kids. which i pray he does i feel once the new baby come they will be pushed along just like her oldest who already lives with the grandma.

  • LaShaun

    Well I need some help I live in florida and I let my son visit his dad in pa but he wont return him. I was sent a summons for divorce in Sept of 2010 I signed them and sent them back, but he filed in New York and he lives in Allentown PA. But he filed the final papers on Nov 15th 2011 but the divorce was filed and final on Dec 5th 2011 before I sent my son he knew it was final and he was suppose to send me a copy 20 days after I never received the papers. So on Dec 17th 2011 I sent our son to his dad and now he wont let me talk to him or return him on the date that we have agreed on for him to return. But I ordered the divorce papers from New York and the father stated that the kids reside with me out of the state of New York and he doesnt seek custody of the two minor children or visitation. So do I have any legal rights for him to send the chlid back to me on the date we agree to or ever, he won’t return him to florida.


    I live in alabama. My daughter is 2 years old. I have full legal cusdioty.was never married, the father wasn ‘t in her life till after she turned 1 I went after child suppirt & he got every other weekend. Can I move to another state & when its his, weekend just meet half way like the order says & if he doesn’t like it he can take me to court. Id rather move & have her all time & him get every summer & holidays.

  • CC21

    Never going to happen! They ll want a DNA to prove he’s not the father to get it off the bc

  • Ashleigh Cleveland

    I have an important question. I have a 2 yr old son. We live in Dwetroit, Mi & his father lives in Tampa,Fl. Ihave full custody of our son. I am wondering if it is possible for me to file for joint custody and allow the both pf us to have equal time. I dont want his father to just pop up and be able to just take him. All of his records (school, therapy) is here in Detroit with me. Please help

  • AlaskanMama

    I currently have custody and guardianship of a child who is not related to me. She wanted to return to her birth mother after 8 years and has had tremendous mental health issues. After her physically hurting one of my small children, I allowed her to move in him bio mom.
    I just received a call from a guardian ad lietem stating that since I am responsible for the child…we have to go to court again. Im worried it could get messy… what is the proccess usually in matters like this?
    We were living in Alaska, she is now in Wa and I live in Va.
    Can this affect my other children? Part of my concern is that they might investigate us or something? my children are all healthy and happy..I just hate the idea of more drama. Please help!!

  • Help!

    I sumitted paperwork in court. I went on line to see if they had documented anything showing the court record that paper work was filed. When I reseached it the court had documented it, but the word Loose was put at the end of it. Such as (loose)-what does this mean? Is paperwork missing?
    Thank you

  • Eric

    I am the father of 6 beautiful children. BOTH i and the mother are live in Oregon. We separated two years ago. In March she gave Physical Custody to her mom. 4 of the children reside in Nevada and have for more than six months. There has been no cases on either my part or my estranged wife regarding custody. Can I go pick up my children in Nevada without having to file something in Nevada? Estranged with is currently in jail and is looking at a long prison sentence. What can I do to get the kids back to Oregon with me?


  • kcarson

    my ex moved 55 miles away “alabama” both live in same state. i have proof she abuses him. can i file anything to get him back? we were never married but lived at same address for 3 years and i very willfully played the role of mr. mom. my wife and i have a 2 year old son. My ex tries to keep him away by signing him up for sports he cares nothing about, her last boyfriend almost killed him in a wreck while on drugs, she has a domestic violence charge on her record. been through DHR 3 times and have no results. she has my son on 3 meds to zone him out. she is screwing his life up!

  • Dee

    My 5 year old son’s father and I were never married. We have joint legal custody, but I have sole physical custody, he has resonable parenting time. We currently live in Minnesota. He was in prison for the past 3 years, and got out 3 months ago. He has seen his son less than 10 times since his release. My son hates going to his house, says he yells at him and threatens him with his belt. My husband is the sole provider for my family, and is being transferred to North Dakota. What do I need to do to move my child out of state?

  • kari

    i have a friend that whants to hand me custody of her baby permanently, is there a way this can happen!? how do we do it?where do we have to go to sign papers? what is necessary?and how long does it take?

  • Jocelyn

    Me and the father of my daughter who is a year old have joint custody but i have physical custody. Im engage with my fiance for a year now. And he lives in Nevada and I in California. My plans were to move to nevada with my fiance get married and rent a home with my child. My child has been with me since day one. Me and the father have been back and forward with court, for his visitation rights. They grant him whatever he wants and are always in favor with him, and im left in confusion when i always bring evidence of him being a violent person, and also doing marijjuana and im not sure if he does it in front of our child. Which is why i asked for supervised visits but wasnt granted that after i brought drug test results with him testing positive and his excuse was because he doesnt sleep at night so he needs to smoke marijuana. yet he didnt show no proof of prescription from a doctor. And now court orders stay that hes able to see her every monday and wednesday from 10AM TO 6 PM. I do have child support on him, but hes a tattoo artist so he doesnt file income taxes. he gets paid cash so theres no proof of how much he makes. and he makes alot …so the only thing their making him pay is 120 a month, and he still doesnt pay it hes behind 4months now and it really upsets me how they grant him so many rights when hes not helping me. Ive been living with my daughter under my parents roof, its hard living there when you dont get along with your mother, my mother always seems to try to take control of my daughter so i wont have a say in it. A week ago, it got really bad. I had brought to the attention to my parents that i wanted to move to n evada with my daughter, i am 22 years old, i dont need to ask for permission. I like to let them know, and my mother freaked out and said i could never take my daughter anywhere. And as soon as i tried to see my daughter and get our stuff, she immidiately grabbed me and hit me grabbed me from my hair, and i respect my mother, but at the time of all this happening. i didnt know what to do but just to get her off and push her off me. With all this happening i decided to call the cops, and i told the cops of what happened, and my mother told her story and completely lied and said i was a bad mother, and i leave my child in random places which is a complete lie theres no proof of that, i only work and come home, and the days i work my father babysits. So for them to say such lies really hurt me, and for the cop to believe them right away without asking for proof or anything. Made me more upset to point where i was lost and confused. And the cop said that they were going to give my child to child services and my parents can fight for custody so when that happened, i freaked out and couldnt believe what i was hearing i couldnt stop crying and i ran to the kitchen grabbed a knife and locked myself in the bathroom and tried to commit suicide i know it was the stupidest idea ever, at the time i wasnt thinking and just hearing that i couldnt be with my daughter hurt me in so many levels where i didnt want to live anymore. So when that happened, a detective came rushing my house and talked me out of doing what i wanted to do, and i explained to him that i dont want hurt anyone nor myself i just want my child with me likes shes always been, i dont know why my parents are being so evil agaisnt me just because i want to move out of state with my daughter they dont have to stoop down to that level. So the detective said he believes me, but that because of what i did in grabbing the knife and all that i had to go to a mental hospital in UCLA to talk to psychiatrist and talk to them and tell them how i feel and that its not a bad thing but that he cant do nothing about it, that i had to go just because of what i did. and that id probably be out in a matter of a few hours if the psychiatrist thought their wasnt anything bad with me. So they took me i answered questions all 100 % truthfully and they let me go in 3 hours. My fiance went to pick me up. He drove me back home. and all my stuff was packed in bags…..at that point my parents had kicked me out of my house. And still denied me to see my daughter, at this time im crying my eyes out my fiance trying to get me back on my feet and saying things are going to be fine, so he picks up my stuff and i get my stuff and move to nevada with my fiance. Now my question is what can i do to get my daughter back, when i havent done anything wrong? And before all this happened when i was back and fourth with court with my daughters dad my parents were in my side and to them i was the perfect mother and all of sudden because i wanted to move to nevada made me bad mother and all of sudden had all these false accusations of me. I dont know im just trying to point everything out every detail that might help my case as much possible. I really miss my daughter, and want her back now. I just want some guideness in all of this because i feel like everyones against me.

  • Michael

    I have a 9 year old son that lives full time with his mother in VA. She has over the last 7 years cut back on the time she allows my son to fly out to see me for. Over the last year I have seen my son for 6 days. Against his and my own expressed desire. Recently She had a new child with a man that she has since moved into her house. When My son came out to visit me this year he told me that he witnessed this man holding the 3 month old baby boy (his own son) upside down shaking it and screaming at it for not sleeping. My son is terrified of this man and does not want to live there anymore. My son told me the man drinks alcohol allot and chain smokes. My son had a mini nervous breakdown when I had to fly him home. I had never seen my son act like that and it scared the hell out of me. I had contacted Child services and my lawyer within an hour of him telling me the story but because the mother demanded it, I had to fly my son back to her. My question is, even with my son being 9, Can/ will the courts still take into consideration his request to live with me because of his fear of living at his mothers house?

  • The courts will definitely take into account the fact your son is terrified of his step dad. You need a good lawyer who can handle it for you. Maybe mediation will work. Putting your son through testifying will be stressful but sometimes judges will meet with the child in private. Good luck. It’s worth trying to get custody of him since he is in a volatile situation.

  • Jamie

    I have a 10 year old son. My ex has been in and out of jail and prison for the better half of his 10 years.He is now out of jail and working. I moved out of the county to get away from his harassment. He is a registered sex offender and always called to sleep in my drive way. I have a 4 year old daughter by a differant relationship. He is taking me back to court because I failed to give him or the courts 90 days notice of my move to a differant county. I did, however give my new address to the court 2 weeks after I moved into my new home. I would like to know what I can do to protect myself from losing custody of my son. His father also wants to stop childsupport and be able to claim him on taxes every year.

  • chris

    i have been the sole care taker of my 4 yr old daughter me and her father never been married our live together he has never paid child support. we are going to court because after child support recovery served him child support papers he served me wanting sole custody of my daughter now through the four years i have let him have her every weekend even though he dosnt help with child support this last weekend i let him have his visit and he refuses to bring her home she is in pre school she hasnt been there all week her gurdian at litem has even told him he needs to bring her home i have primary custody what can i do i cant afford a lawyer

  • Medina

    My son lived with his father for the last 2 school years due to my work schedule. The father is abusive towards me and regulates when I can see him, we have no custody order in place. I took my son out of the school he was in and transferred him back to his old school. The father is threatening to take me to court for soul custody, my son is 10 and wants to come back with me, what should I do?

  • Wondering

    In NJ joint custody is the only option unless the noncustodial parent is incarcerated or chld molester, etc… What action can be taken through the courts to secure childs finances. The noncustodial parent is so irrisponsible financially (claimed bnkrptcy 2x and is only 40) I do not want him to be “in charge” of the minors finances if something should happen to me. (recent inheratance) I know he will use it all up should he be able to get a hold of it.

  • Mary

    I live in texas,my divorce was granted in october of 2011, I didn’t have a lawyer to represent me and I wasn’t told when the court was so I was found in default, we were granted joint custody. My question is , in our marriage my ex husband was abusive ,verbally and controlling I had no access to any money during our separation,he comes to get our son but my mother deals with him but he is very aggressive and wanting to control and talks above her, I am keeping a journal and writing down everything . My three yr old doesn’t want to go and he has trouble going to the restroom when he is with his dad. Is getting the visitation modifyied expensive and can I get sole custody because he left a rude message on my mother’s phone and said he didn’t have to explain anything to us about our son, is there anything I can do about that?

  • NJ Father

    My question is I have attempted on multiple occasions to get my son’s mother to put some type of agreement in place. We simply do not work together and I continue to got back together with her ending in the same result. Disagreements about day care, feeding properly and when I attempt to civilly separate she will never work out any type of order to follow. It continues to affect my job and mental health. How am I able to get one in place? I live in NJ.

  • stephanie

    in florida how do i go about having a birth fathers rights removed , and can someone the mother is not married to adopt them ? my ex- husband is currently in jail facing prison for the 3rd time for 16 drug charges , robbery and credit card fraud. he is about $30,000 behind in child support just with my two children not counting the other two he has with 2 others, he was willing once to give up rights on his oldest, but how do i go about it the legal way to have his rights removed or him willingly sign them off, he was very abusive towards me and the kids but there was never in court or arrest because i was always to scared to do anything, please help me .



  • mama17

    I have been divorced from my ex for 3 1/2 years. When I left him, I moved 200 miles away from him. (MN) My reasons for this are extensive but it comes down to him being emotionally/verbally abusive, and extreme narcissistic behavior. When I left and filed for divorce, I asked for full physical custody. He gave it to me. We didn’t go to court, we filled out the divorce papers ourselves, mailed them in, and received them back signed by the judge a few months later. I have fulll physical custody, and we have joint legal custody. Now, 3 1/2 years later, he started asking me out on dates after my 2nd marriage failed. I refused, and reminded him of why I left him to begin with. Of course, this sent him into a rage, and he began constantly threatening me and saying he was going to have custody reversed and starting making all kinds of accusations about me (that I am abusive to our child, I’m an alcoholic, neglectful, that I ‘tricked’ him into giving me custody, etc). The threats and harassment were so bad, I filed for a harassment restraining order. He took me to court to try to fight it and lost. The HRO remains in place until August 2012. Now he is constantly posting nasty things on facebook, asking all of my friends and his family to write affidavits about me stating I am a bad mom, etc, and he actually got a lawyer who is just as nasty as he is…she sends my lawyers nasty demanding letters, basically I am being bullied and harassed by him again, just through lawyers now. Anyway, he is trying to bring up all these things about our past, and our fights, (our relationship was extremely toxic, hence why I left!!!) and he actually believes he will win a full reversal of custody. I know everyone would say it and you don’t know me, but I am a GOOD mom. I do not party, or do drugs, or leave my kids alone, etc, I do not abuse my kids in any way (I have a 16 yr old not by him, and then our 5 yr old), I have a full time job, I give my kids anything that I can within my budget, they are always clothed, fed, healthy, happy, clean, etc, regular Dr. appts, dentist, etc, I basically live for them, that’s what I feel my job is as their mother, and anyway, I am constantly stressed out over the continuous harassment and threats of custody. I recently started therapy, and our 5 year old is now in therapy due to massive behavior changes since this mess all started, and it is obvious that my 5 year olds father is saying terrible tings to him as he is suddenly terrified allt he time that I am going to leave him, and he started calling me by my first name instead of momma, and then he cried because he said that (my name) was a bad word. I have to know your opinion, after almost 4 years of having custody, which he willingly gave to me, what chance does he have at having it completely reversed? Especially when he is extremely manipulative and relentless? He is actually going to try to bring to court text message fights that we had over 5 years ago?? I was told by someone that those won’t matter sonce it happened prior to the custody order being set, but I still cannot help being terrified. He has ruined my life and now he is trying to ruin our son’s life in my opinion!

  • Mike Mugridge

    I have joint legal custody of my daughter and her mother put her in a new daycare and I adamently said no from the beging on taking her to that daycare but she decided anyways. I was wondering if I still have to take her to that daycare on days that I have her. Our agreement said that I am supposed to take her to school but It is over a 40 minute drive one way to take her there and I already said I didnt want her to go, and I told her that I would not take her on those said days if she put her in that daycare. Am I in violation of our order and what can I do?

  • Concerned MO Parent

    I am financially needing help as I cannot afford a good attorney. I live in Missouri and my children living with their father in florida since August 2011 yet the father petition for modification of custody in ga where he previously lived and judge signed it in sep 2011. I never received written notice of the move anyway nor would I have agreed to it, there is order for no direct and indirect contact with father’s ex wife towards the children yet father has facebook contact with ex wife and my children are friends with the ex wife’s children on facebook which I don’t know if that is a violation of order, children have slept and spent the night with the fathers girlfriend on numerous occasions even though it is court ordered no spending the night at father or mothers house by boyfriend or girlfriend and not sure if that is a violation. Does not give me any information about the kids extra curricular activities and does not allow me to talk about my opinion and just does it anyway and has made a threat to me and my boyfriend that stating that he has a BIG surprise for me and my boyfriend if that is how i want to play because I asked him questions about a person background of the person caring for my children. Now he is in Maryland for 3 weeks, did not notify me and had his father come from MO to stay with my kids and only information I have is their home phone for contact. My kids are currently in Florida, I am in MO and their father in MD and I feel that it is not stable for the children in that circumstance if their father is traveling and children left behind. I feel my kids may be at harm, father is in several violations and children have been unstable. What can I do to change for primary custodial to be with me as previously a guardian ad litem report stated that children should reside with me (all my family live in my state as well as all of their fathers family) and not the father due to domestic violence he allowed in the home by his ex wife. Please help! desperate for my children to be better. I am not even sure who would have the jurisdiction, GA or FL.

  • Laura

    I wanted to know if a mother left with 7 month old vhild without father knowing and she has been gone for 9 years can father.still file for visitation rights. Reason it wasn’t done earlier is because he didnt know where she was. He has now been able to locate her.

  • JEM

    My husband and are currently doing week on and week off with my son, but it is not my decision because we do not have a custody order in place so he gets my son when its “his” week. His girlfriend and her son just moved in with him at his parent’s house and he also lives about 36 miles from my son’s school. We are currently still married but have been seperated for a little over a year. Will he still be allowed to have joint custody of my son although he lives so far away from the school and has a live in girlfriend? We live in the state of Georgia.

  • Kea

    I share legal custody of my daughter with my ex. I was awarded primary residence. Because we share legal custody am I supposed to call her and tell her about meetings with my daughters teachers? Am I supposed to mail her copies of school records and such? My ex makes no effort to get this information on her own and I am also forced to create calendars for her so she can remember what her visitation times are. She is also ordered to pay child support and has not paid a dime since we left court in 2009. What is my legal obligation to my ex in regards to the legal custody?

  • lyssa

    im in the process of starting a divorce iv asked my husband, who asked for the divorce, to leave the house. he did so. i have our 8 month old child, his mother and my mother have told me not to let him see the child alone, what i would like to know is this. is it illegal to keep my child away from him? he wants me to bring him to were he is staying and just drop him off, i dont fill safe doing so.

  • meagan johnson

    My husband (dan) shares joint custody with his ex wife of their 2 kids. She said that her new husband plans to adopt them. if they share joint custody of the 2children doesn’t she need dan to sign over his rights before her new husband can legally adopt them? He cant just adopt them with out Dan’s premission. Can they?

  • Dominique

    My husband is currently going through a custody battle with his ex. He is filing for joint custody, the ex doesnt want him to have joint custody, she wants to be the custodial parent. She uses that because there child has a schedule, mind you she is four years old, and she has never lived with him that the judge will not give him joint custody. Is that true? He also has two other children he supports and they live with him.

  • Mom of 1

    My sons father was granted supervised visitation. It started off an hour then went to 4 hours. The first 4 hour visit we spent 2 hours at the park then the other two we went to walmart to get something to eat. Well in the process of going in the father made a scene because I had asked his girlfriend if she needed help with the baby that she had just had. He then starts yelling and cussing and his mother trys taking my son from my arms. The cops were called and he was made to leave. That was july of 2011 and has not made any effort to contact me since. NOw I am getting txt messages from his attorney and now he is trying to find out my information. I was told that what the lawyer was doing was against the law and cannot be doing that. He has my phone number but refusses to call it and has lied to his last lawyer that he has tried to contact me and has not. Every time he talks to me he threatens me on taking my son away from me. So since july 5th 2011 he has not contatced me in any way. He is almost 7,000 behind on child support has a son by one woman, my son, and another kid by someone else. I have requested that he just pay what he is behind and leave us alone. I live in Hoxie Ar and he lives in Heber Springs AR. I need help.

  • Sasie

    I live in California. Not married to child father. Daughter 8 months old and has lived with me and provided for by me since birth. I have filed for sole physical and legal custody. The father barely makes time to see her. Maybe 5 hours total in a month. He provides nothing for her, meaning he comes empty handed. Through a default judgement I was awarded $41 child support ($1 a day). Father has 3 DUIs no drivers licences and no stable residence. What are my chances of being granted my request?

  • nina jones

    my daughter moved to fl with her boyfriend and their baby because she got a job here. As soon as she settled in, he took off and went back to NY. He has now filed for custody in NY and she is living in Fl, working and has her life set up. What should she do now?

  • Becca

    My husbands ex wife left the state of Alabama in April of 2011. Without letting me know, or anyone else for that matter. I have Joint custody of our child. but i haven’t seen or spoken to my child since April of 2011. What can i do to get her back into court?? And can she be held in contempt?

  • Nicole

    Hi there, Im in Canda and have just served my Ex with court papers asking for sole custody and guardianship, also permission to travel outside canada. He tells me that he is not going to sign anything until i change her last name to his, but we were never married, and were already seperated when she was born, can he make me change her name? Also I have a feeling he is not going to file his reply, what will happen if he doesnt, but shows up for court?

  • cantstopthinking

    Some years ago in May 09. I tried to fight for custody of my daughter. At that time I was n disability and not actually to stable. Since then I have moved back to Beckley, wv where I have an older child from a different marriage. I am hearing stories that the my 10 year old no longer wants to live with her father she wants to live with me. I am still on disability, but I now have my own house and live in a very safe environment. Do you think the courts twill award me custody even if I am in west virginia?

  • Anna

    I have been through 2 divorces already and 1 custody battle. My soon to be ex stopped our default divorce today stating we have a child together ( child in question was born out of our wedlock and we were actually married to other people ) he is not on my sons birth certificate and used a marriage lisence to determine paternity ( since I signed it stating we had a child). The judge allowed it and didn’t grant the divorce stating I needed to file for dissoulution with children. Can she do that?! I mean there is no paternity except that paper. I also have a protection order against him and he has violated it twice in a weeks period. It was my impression that paternity in Arizona was through agreement or DNA. I flat out said ” we don’t know if he is the father”. The judge just dismissed my case. He signed a proof of service and didn’t respond the entire case until the default hearing.

  • rae

    My son has 50% leagal custody .his wife left and went to live in the bay area with his child. She has put the child in a school without getting any input from my son. has moved 3 times in the last 8 months without notifing my son. She is now engaged in a realationship and refuses to give any information to my son. My son is worried about his daughter and yet this women won”t even provide this mans name. What legal
    rights does he?

  • sonya

    my sister inlaw has been taking into to hospital for 6 weeks now she stil trying to harm herself in hospital.my bro was tolby social services he was ok to have kids he got crb checked but kids had to live with my sister so she was crb checked.but my sister in law parents lied about my sister house told them there was a drug dealer popped round and the social just removed them but my sister in law has no house to go to when she comes out as she is very unstable so she has to tay with her mum they let her out for one day and she got drunk again.my boo has left the house to sort things out as he was knocked for 6 when he was trying to help her keep er house and the kids safe.im a auntie to them would i be able to take the children in but the mother of children only wants them with her mum so she sees them im frightened there gonna get taken into care ndnone of my family want that we was told by social servicees if family fight the kids would end up in care

  • Amy

    I have been awarded temporary custody of my 5 year old daughter. Her father resides in NJ and had primary custody. I had weekend visitation. I live in Philadelphia. He had DYFS called on him due to substance abuse issues, and I was summoned to go pick her up in NJ. I have her here in Philly. NJ is still her “home state”. We have court in 2 weeks. I am wondering if I am allowed to enroll her in HeadStart schooling, or if I have to wait until after court. What can I do to get primary custody of her? Should I get a lawyer? I need help. DYFS isnt helping me at all. They didnt even go to court with me.

  • Amy

    I have been awarded temporary custody of my 5 year old daughter. Her father resides in NJ and had primary custody. I had weekend visitation. I live in Philadelphia. He had DYFS called on him due to substance abuse issues, and I was summoned to go pick her up in NJ. I have her here in Philly. NJ is still her “home state”. We have court in 2 weeks. I am wondering if I am allowed to enroll her in HeadStart schooling, or if I have to wait until after court. What can I do to get primary custody of her? Should I get a lawyer? I need help. DYFS isnt helping me at all. They didnt even go to court with me.

  • roxianne dupree


  • marcy

    My 11 year old lives with my ex husband who has domicile custody of him. He wants to come live with me, but his dad says no. Is there any way of getting him to live with me without dragging him thru court proceedings, that is just not an option for me

  • Rainna

    I talked to my dad and he said that when he went to the court to find out what his visitation rights were with me, they told him that it doesn’t say anything about physical custody or visitation rights. I want to live with my dad and am currently living with my mom, can I chose who I live with or do I still have to go through court? Going to court will take too long.

  • eric

    the mother of my son and i have agreed verbally that i (the farther) should have sole physical custody and that all her visits shall be supervised by me or her mother (she has a addiction) i need to get the agreement on paper and ordered by a judge but would prefer not to tell about her issues

    • Bryan

      if you feel your child is in danger with her when unsupervised you do not have to tell her, unfortunately you do have to tell the judge.

  • Responsible Parent

    In N.J. husband & I divorced 3/09. We have a daughter who, at that time was 10. I was told in NJ there is no “sole” custody unless there is child abuse, molesting or something of that nature, so we have “joint” custody. Sadly Dad never had a relationship with daughter when we lived together, and over the last 3 years he has requested to see daughter probably 3 x a year, which I complied with. He has no consistancy with communication and calls when he feels like it. Quite a few times he blows off his request to see her (which she doesnt mind at all.) Lately he has called her direct on her cell and says he wants to see her and she tells him shie is busy or doesnt want to. He threatens he will take her / us to court. Do I have to force her to go? AT WHAT AGE DOES A CHILD HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE IF SHE WANTS TO BE ENVOLVED WITH NON RESPONSIBLE PARENT ? (and when I say non responsible I mean it in every way) lol

    • SL

      I believe thats when the child is 12 years old , But I would make the visit supervised to make your daughter more comforable.

  • Dee
  • Amy

    My husband and I are getting a legal separation. We have agreed to Joint Physical Care however he works during the day and I am home so I would still have them during the day, he would have them 4 evening a week and all day on Saturday. He obviously makes more money than I do. I get SSI for my disabled son from a previous marriage and I take care of him. Will he have to pay child support even if we have joint physical care? Thanks.

  • Johnny

    My ex wife has primary physical, we both have joint managing conservator. My lil girl age 5 been asking to stay with me she keeps on saying it and crys when she goes back to her mom. if my baby girl doesn’t want to go home with her mom and will not leave me do i have to make her go with her mom? Before we break apart i always kept my kids i was a stay a home dad and when we went our ways i didn’t even ask about having them because i was getting back on my feet. now i have my own place and i’m about to get married i have a room for her to stay.

  • Dani-Mac

    My daughter is two years old in June. I currently have full physical custody w/ joint legal. Her dad has no established parenting time in our current court order. He had seen her one time since custody was established in nov. At that time he refused to give her back to me unless I wrote n signed a note stating he’d get her back in two weeks. I tried reassuring him that he would but he still refused to give her back. After fear that he really wouldn’t give back I wrote the note any way. I talked to a lawyer the police, and the friend of the court, they all said since parenting time wasn’t established I didn’t have to give her to him. I told him that he needed to go file a parenting time motion, if he wanted to see her, because we couldnt agree on that issue. He hasn’t done that in six months and that was the last time he saw her. I haven’t heard from him in five months.
    I told you that to ask you this. I am looking at a very great opportunity in north Dakota for a great Job. It’s making a 1.50 more than I do now. Plus a 5,000 dollar sign on bonus, 2500 dollar moving allowance, 2,000 tution to higher my education, for a commitment of two years minimum at full time. With full health benefits, and bells n whistles. I am currently living with my mother only working part time with no garentee of a full time position. We both have to be on Medicaid because I can’t afford the health issuance through my job. Do you think I have a good chance of moving? What do I need to do to prove I only want a better life.

  • Dawn

    Although I am not an attorney, I have been divorced from my childrens father for over 11 years. My suggestion is to re-read your custody agreement. With you having sole physical custody you should be able to move where ever you choose, however, some times there is a milage stipulation. If you are unsure, I suggest you have an attorney or perhaps even your friend of the court read your papers. It sounds to me like you should be able to move where ever you choose. That being said, you will need to notify the father 30 days before moving. Unfortuantely, he will then be able to try to stop the move. If you have documented that he has not had any contact with your daughter in several months he may have no legal leg to stand on. There again, you would need to consult an attorney. Good luck to you!! I truely hope that you are able move and are able to provide more financially stability for you and your daughter.

  • Mayra

    I have joint custody in NJ I’m primary custodian of my child. The father got back together and moved to Florida together. It didn’t work out and between us and he moved back to NJ. I have been in Florida for over six months. I went to NJ for two weeks with maybe having the intention on moving back to NJ. I came back to Florida with my child. Now the father is taking me to court and saying that I left with out his consent.. What do I do because I don’t want to live in NJ

  • jorge

    legally separated, have phsyical and legal custody of 11year old son. wife failed two drug test in court. know she drives by the house to see our son. can i apply for a stay away order even though divorce is not yet finalized.

  • Ana

    I got divorce in 2008 , my ex- husband left USA in 2009 he move back to Brasil ,since then he is lo longer part of our kids lives , and he doesn’t help me with anything. I woud like to know what i can do to get solo custody of the kids since he left his kids behind . My divorce was made in Brasil i have custody and he has visitation.
    Thank you.

  • caregiver

    We have our nephew, he has lived with us over a year, his mom is back now and wants us to give him back, she hasn’t asked for him back since being back in his life, we do allow him to go stay with her when she asks. My question is what are our rights to continue to keep him with us, i do not want to keep him from his mom, we just dont feel it is safe for him to be with her fulltime. I am struggling with this for months due to he has become a huge part of our family, please any help or advice would be appreciated.

    • Jamie Wilson

      You really don’t have any rights. If the court finds the mother is a fit parent then she can regain custody. I know that is not what you wanted to hear but custody is terrible.

  • GinaFlo

    My ex and i have joint Legal/Physical Custody of our two year old for about a year and a half now. We both live in the same town in Northern California. The town we live in is very dangerous the crime rate and murder rate is unbelievably high. I want to move in the Los Angeles/ San Diego area for a better life. I know my ex won’t agree on me moving down there, he won’t agree on an arrangement for my son. I’m not trying to take my son from his dad; I just want to modify our arrangement. Like maybe we both have him for two months at a time until he starts school and we come up with a new arrangement. Again my Son father will never agree to this… do you think if I was take it to court I would be allowed to do this?

  • Debra

    I would like to know where a parent has custody prior to the court appearence, where does cohabation/ meretricious apply when there are minor children involved. Are the minor children able to live with the parent when the parent is living with girlfriend/boyfriend and minor children see them sleeping together?

  • Mounir Ouaddi

    Got a question. I have a brother who lives overseas. His ex-wife lives in the US. They went through a divorce, and they gave him the right for visitations, but not the right to send his two kids to him overseas. He is forced to fly to the US to see his kids. He just learned that his wife has been able to obtain a passport for the kids, and took them on a trip overseas. The questions I have are as follow: can she get passports without his consent? She did send him emails in the past asking for that. Second, if she falsyfied paperwork, what is the penalty for doing that? Thanks for the help. Cheers.

    • Jamie Wilson

      If the mother has sole/legal custody than yes she can get the children passports. Your brother will have to file for modification to have the case reviewed by the court. Most of the small courts look the other way on falsifying paperwork.

  • Nate

    I have a 2 year old son that’s mother has taken off with him. I do not know where she is with him. She left the State of Maryland and I want to know if we have joint custody of him and she has physical custody and she is suppose to give notice of leaving what is it that I can do. Is that kidnapping if she has not contacted me letting me know where she went and I am also supposed to have him the rest of the summer.

  • Bryan

    My ex wife has sole legal and sole physical custody of our 2 boys, she has had it for years and i just recently moved back to my home state (CA.) from alaska where they reside. She is now talking about marrying her current boyfriend and letting him adopt my kids and giving them both his last name. Is there anything i can do to file for custody from down here? I have all of my paperwork from alaska but i need to know what to do (if anything) from a different state. Bare in mind that the current bf had gone to jail for a year for felony drug warrants, which originally started out as him being violent to her for protecting our children…no charges pressed…went to jail none the less for a year.

  • Bryan

    in regards to the previous question you can e-mail me @ vivisectxviii@gmail.com i would greatly appreciate feedback, from anyone!

  • Mike

    My ex-wife and I have joint legal/joint residential custody of our 2 kids. I am the “non-residential parent”, my son is 10, my daughter is 15. My daughter got pregnant by her b/f at her moms house. I discovered that while they were at my house. I’m re-married, and my wife is a nurse, she spoke with her and her mother,we gave her a home preg. test. It was possitive!!! My daughter stated she wanted an abortion! I told her, and her mother that’s out of the question. Her mom lives on Military base with her husband and she told me she made an appointment with a base doctor. After her appointment her mom text me and said that she had a “chemical pregnacy” and is not pregnant!
    I asked my daughter what they did, she said they gave her a pill and they did a sonagram. She started her period the next morning! I asked her mom for the doctors name/info so I could request records since I couldn’t go to the office in person since it’s on base. She constantly changes subjuct everytime I ask, and will not give me any info regaurding her appointment…

    Please, help me if you can. Any input would be great!!!

    Thank you.

  • SMS

    I have a situation were I’m going through a divorce and fighting for custody of my two kids. And my ex wife is now not allowing me to see or talk to my kids because i filed not only for divorce but for custody? Can she do this? And will this look bad on her in court?

  • Jeanelle

    My would-to be ex is not the biological father of my child, but he is the only father my child knows. My child bears the same last name as his and he has been claiming him on his tax for over 10years now. As I am considering divorce, I’m I entitled to claim child support?

  • kim Hl

    My fiance has full residental (physical) custody of his 3 sons and the mom has set visitation with the children 2x a week. The mother does not keep her does not keep her weekly visitation with the children. It has been boyght to my fiancee attention that the children’s mother is receiving foodsyamps for the children in excess of $400 in which she doesn’t use.on the children. Is she allowed to collect foodstamps for the children on her 2 visitation days alone.

    • Jenn

      no she is only allowed foodstamps if they are living with her for more than 2 weeks a month if they have joint custody and she would only beable to get for them if there father is not getting it.. if they are only going there like on weekends that is not considered as living with her. that is in the state of illinois anyways. the kids father would have to go to the local foodstamp office and ask for the guidlines to obtain foodstamps in that state is or you can even look it up online.

  • Kerry Anne West

    I went to court to get a injunction against my ex husband which i was granted now he has a verble agreement with the court to stay away from me. He is aloud to see kids on a saturday and any day i agree with. The court said the kids will stay with me now. But my problem is i have a new partner who lives with me he looks after the kids while im a college. I also have a 5 year old child who had toilet problems and sometimes need changing in school if he soiles his self. The school is saying they cant let my partner come in and change him unless my ex gives his premission for him to do it. My ex hates my partner and wont. But surely uf they live with me i give the premission and not him? Also school is trying to kick my child put for the toilet problems

  • deblo19

    my husband sat me down one night to tell me that he was not getting enough intimacy from me and wanted to seek out other women. i told him why not just divorce me and do that without me. he told me he wanted us to remain married but see other people. or either get the divorce and remain living together and see other people. i have no interest in other men. its just him wanting to seek that. he told me also he had been eyeballing a redhead at a store he frequents. (makes me wonder if he hasnt acted on it yet) and he has asked me to hook him up with my friends. asked if i cared. which i dont because i do not love him anymore. after i found him cheating on me once i told him i needed some space and time to get over it. he wouldnt back off wouldnt give me the time and space i needed. which drove me away from him. he has left marks on our oldest son. i have pictures of it that he doesnt know about. he is now actively seeking sex from other women. we plan on having a no fault divorce to avoid lawyers and a nasty court battle but i want sole custody of my children so they arent being drug from my house one week back to his the next. he doesnt want that. he gets angry when i even say anything about it. i could get custody in a court battle but i have one thing working against me. i smoked weed once and i just know he would bring that up in court. since that one time i have not touched the stuff. he told me he wanted to remain civil and just divide the custody up. but i dont want that. but i also dont want my awful secret to come out. what can i do?

    • Jenn

      thats not really that much of an aweful secret really, just cause you did it one time does not mean you are doing it now if he brings it up tell them you will take a drug test. he has to have proof and beable to show this proof in court. he has to beable to prove you as an unfit mother and show evidence to back up his theorys i know this stuff cause i been through it with my ex husband helped him gain custody of his son when we was married. he cant prove me unft cause he knows i am not and do take good care of my kids and get them whatever they need or want and he is way behind on his child support. so i know he will never beable to tak my babies from me he has nothing on me to prove me unfit.

    • Jenn

      you can get him on adultry having sex with other women while he still married to you. get pictures of him with the women or find prrof to take to court to show your evidence could also show that he is abusive to the kids with the picture you have of your son. if you got a lawyer and filed before he does you have a better chance also having a lawyer in a divorce is way better than having none. if you have a lawyer and he dont could make it an easier case for you too win as well. hope this helps some.

    • Jamie Wilson

      First of all how long ago did you smoke weed? If it was only that one time then you have nothing to worry about. Does he have any proof that you smoked weed or is it just his word. You need to call DCF if the father is abusing your child. Call the police when this is happening and then get a restraining order against him. You can not allow him to hurt your child. No court will give him custody if he is abusing his child.

  • kyhla

    I just got legal guardianship of my brother. The response I got from my mother is “well I’m still his parent, its not like I lost my parental rights”. The courts did not grant mother any visitation or anything (she did not even show up to court). So the paper states I have been appointed guardian of the minor having the care and custody of the person and estate of the minor. What rights does his mother have? Is this the same thing as custody? Do I have to let her see her son? I am so confused please help!

  • Jack

    my step daughter has been with me since she was born. i have been the one taking care of her since then. me and her mother have been seperated for several years now and my step daughter has been living with me i want to know how i can make her legally mine? what is the best opption out there for me to be her dad forever she has been wanting me to change her last name to mine too. she is currently ten years old. i also have a girlfriend and i cant take my step daughter and my biological daughter who is 9 to see my girlfriend and her 3 kids because my ex. threatens to take the girls back from me even though she has not been taking care of them all this time just takes them for visits and brings them back after a few hours. 1 or 2 times a week sometimes after 2 weeks at a time. what can i legally do? i dont want to lose my girls! i love them very much and they love there daddy too! please help asap

    • Jack

      am a illinois resident forgot to add that in there if that will help too

  • Molly

    I have sole physical and legal custody of my child in Michigan. Visitation was not spelled out and the decree says it is upto the parties. I am moving to another state due to job change (my choice). My ex has had no contact with child for over 10 years. Do I have to notify the courts/ask permission to move? Can ex have any say in it? Do the courts notify the ex as well?
    Thank you.

    • Thrifty

      No. As it’s been 10 years without contact, he’s off the books. You’re free to do as you wish.

  • Lala

    Okay so my child is almost 8 months old and her biological father is not on the birth certificate my fiancé had signed her birth certificate but we are no longer together and her biological father is willing to do a DNA and change her last name legally but he wants rights to my daughter but here’s where the problem is we can’t agree he is in the military and travels and he is from a different state I’m from Louisiana and he is from new york and he doesn’t help with anything I pay for everything and I have a stable home a good job and a vehicle which he doesn’t have any of these things would be be able to get full custody ? How would this work

    • mariatrepanier@yahoo.com

      If you don’ see a problem with him doing a DNA and him having to get custody of her
      so far sounds good . The reasons you can’t agree to him traveling and being in the
      military glue-less as to why but who ever has the child now and has had for longer amount of time in their procession 9 times out of ten is in possession of ownership making it hard to get custody in some states. At times courts decisions are surprising especially putting it in the hands ‘of the big boss JUDGE . I learned if there isn’t a problem don’t try to make it better
      as it can get devastating and more difficult than it had been …call your nearest law-office and ask for a free-consultation over the phone or in person GOOD-LUCK

    • Jamie Wilson

      If I was you I would contest the DNA test. You said he wants custody. He is not on the birth certificate so that will make it harder on him.

      • strongunit

        Wow thats not even your place to say. And if he wants full custody of his kid it might be that they cant agree on anything im sure he loves this baby, im going through all kinds of hell and love my kids uniquvically and unconditionally and i have been found unfit by the court because im prescribed subutex for pain, and lost my kid to the great grandma and the whole family has lied and entraped me, what you hear is not always what true and triad, you can detroy and scar a child for life denying that child a parent, so the best advice is to be an adult this is not something you should try and always be in control and work with him and you both do whats best for this child, Remember having children is a blessing and not to be mistaken for any other reason, dont make descisions based on what you want and make it on personal conditions if hes not with you he cant see the baby, or if one or the other is doing something the other doesnt like that doesnt effect the baby, Remember who matters its not your or his descision to keep either parent away just cause there not living how your living as long as everyone has the best interest at hand, Babys are not ponds for calculating what move take next. And dont let anyone else run things or control descision making for your baby but you and him and that gos for both parents god gave you both that baby not just one of you.

      • strongunit

        It might make it hard on him but hes not the one its gonna affect in the long run its the child that suffers and the child is the important one, a child needs a mother and father, and if you did keep that baby away from the father you can bet on one thing is for sure the older the child gets the more they will start to ask questions then comes the defiance and hate then all respect is gone because by then everything has come out all the lies and deception and they realize what you took from them selfishly, You know how you are when your a kid you dont ever listen to great advice and the obvious well now your an adult and parent so Mark my words if you steal whats is not yours to take, meaning a chance to have both parents, you will regret it till the day you die.

  • Dennissa

    I am sharing a joint physical custody. Do i have a possibillity of getting my childs full custody if he is not the biological child of my ex but he signed the paternety declaration and he gave him his last name when my son was four.

  • BLJ

    My ex-husband and I live in central New York. We have joint legal custody and I have sole physical custody of our 13 year old son. He spends 2 evenings per week and Sundays with his father, and the other 3 evenings per week and Saturdays with me. I am considering a move to Massachusetts to live with my long term boyfriend and would like to take our son with us. My boyfriend has been unable to find a job in this area that either matches his skillset nor pays a comparable amount to what he makes in MA. My ex- has agreed to the move. The proposed visitation schedule would be that our son would spend the school year with me, and summers, school breaks, and holidays with his father. There is a statement in our divorce decree that states one parent cannot take the other out of state without notifying the other, but that is all. Is there some sort of legal action I need to take with the NYS court system before making this move, or is a notarized written agreement sufficient?

    • Jamie Wilson

      You have to go back to court to make it legal. Just agreeing with each other is not legal and you can find yourself in a lot of trouble. Look on the court website and go to court forms. Look for the modification form.

  • missecass

    I am now in the position where i have breached the court order- so i have been told. me and my ex have joint custody and guardianship, i am away on an extended vacation planning my permanent move out of the country. my children have come to visit and do not want to return. the reasons they give me appear valid and i was able to convince them rather that requesting to “never see their dad again” to just make some changes to the schedule. i have ask my ex to help me with this discussion with the kids however he responded in yelling and verbally threatening to ” do something ” to myself and my daughter. my kids are good kids they generally listen to authority however refused to get on the plance back , now my ex is trying to say im am deliberatley keeping the kids! i asked for his help he scared them, and because of our violent history im afraid ! i dont know what to do!!

  • sss

    Please help! My now x partners mum looked after my children whilst i was unwell. She never brought them back and has an interim residents order after taking me to court. She has made up aload of lies about me in order to keep my children. Her son has been violent towards me and on a number of times been arrested and held in remand. I did on a couple of occasions resumed my relationship with him simply to get her to give them back! Nothing has worked, and things have got worse since. I’m desberate to get my children back and have had very little contact with them. They live atleast a 4 hour journey away and i no longer feel im there mum! This has totally deverstated me and im an emtional wreck! Will i ever get my children back? Please help me

    • Jamie Wilson

      I am so sorry you are going through this. First, never give your children to anyone no matter the reason. Second, bring the grandmother to court. Most courts like the biological parents to have custody in most cases. It may be hard but if you really want your children back you have to great lengths. Nothing illegal though because this will make it worse for you. Getting back with your ex is a big mistake. They have programs for battered woman. I would suggest getting in a program they can help you get your kids back.

  • James

    My wife has a custody agreement with her ex already in place. are we able to modify the agreement change our rights during the school year and the summer?

    • Jamie Wilson

      Yes! Many forms can be downloaded from the internet. Go to your local courts website and click on forms and look for the form for modification. Agreements are modified all the time.

  • please help

    I have twin boys, they were born last year, I feel I’ll with a water infection 3 weeks after and became really I’ll. My now x partners mum offered to help out and look after them for a few days. In the mean time my x was violent towards me and got arested and was bailed to his mothers address as police were concerned. He’s mum refused to bring my boys back and took me to court and somehow got a residents order. I’ve had numerous problems from both of them and fighting for my children for 9 months! Social services are now involved and have suggested to the courts they should return to me, there mother. My x and mother are making my life a misery and making up lies about me simply to keep my children!! Am I ever going to get them back!?

  • J

    I have sole legal and physical custody as well as a 5 year restraint order with no visitation. Call I move my children to another state?

  • mudmaker92@gmail.com

    My niece has 4 boys that she has physical custody and the father has visitation rights. He is behind on his alimony payments. He got married over the weekend to his new girlfriend who is pregnant and already has 2 girls. Let me mention one of the boys has autism bad. This boy is teased constantly by the girls and if he tells his mother when he gets home nobody including his own bothers are allowed to talk or play with him because he was grounded for telling his mom. Now the father said he got a job in Arkansas and what to take the boys for an experience as a family. They are originally from Arkansas and moved from there. I’m afraid that if the mother allow this to happen can he keep the boys and file new papers in Arkansas? He can easily say he does not have the money to send them back and I know my niece does not have the money if he gets the boys out there to get them back home. What would you suggest.

  • Crum

    I have shared custody with my ex and have a boyfriend that is on probation now for contributing to minors my ex has tried making my life miserable e has called cps on me 5 times in the past 3 months and they came and found everything perfectly fine I’m going to cour now for sole custody for sole custody. My boyfriend only stays one night a week and works nightshift will being with him affect me in court?

    • Jamie Wilson

      If your current boyfriend is on probation it probably will effect your chances. You must decide who is more important. Your boyfriend or your child. It may be court ordered that your boyfriend not to be around the child.

  • Ashley w

    My ex and I were never married. We have a 5 yr old. He has lived in OK since I was pregnant and only been apart of my sons kife about 10 days a year since birth. My husband whom my son calls dad is deployed so my ex thought it would be a good idea to move to md and file for joint legal custody and visitation. Is it likely for him to get joint legal custody? Also, if my husband goes active duty next year (he is currently national guard) will they make my son stay with his biological father since we will be stationed out of state? My son has only ever resided with me and he is homeschooled and has a set routine with me as well.

  • pek

    I have sole legal and primary physical custody of my 5 year old great nephew. His mother has been involved in drugs, in jail. served prison time and is about immoral as a person can be. She was allowed visitation rights as agreed upon by me. She is now seeking partial custody after hardly seeing her son the past four years. Her son doesn’t even know her. She stated in the complaint that I never let her see him which is untrue. Also that she under gone drug rehab and now has an apartment living with some man, She did call about 3 times wanting to see him when I was not home and my sister told her that she would have to check back with me but she never did. I am afraid. This boy has been apart of my life and I love him very much. I afraid too that she won’t care and provide for him. That she is still involved in drugs etc. He probably would not want even to go with her. I have retained a lawyer but was wondering if there any other advice out there.

  • Mark C King

    First I live in ND and 3 months ago while I was at work my wife and 2 children left without cause, no abuse, no drug use for no other reason than she wanten to be close to our older daughter going to UND Fargo ND. She has taken my 13 year old daughter with her and will not communicate with me in any way or form. I thought by now she would have come to her sences, but I have not seen or talked to my Minor child at all. My question is how do I get documentation so I can go to Fargo and see her and not be in trouble with the law.This is a very strange case because I have always been a good father and never not once mistreated anyone in my family. I also have two older children that are from another marriage that will a test to this fact. I want to do this in a legal manner and not run into any snags to see my minor daughter and have a relationship with her. I am willing to go through any or all hoops to be able to do this. I do have a degree in legal assistance in ND and know I need a order to be able to do this and not create any trouble with the police in a different city from which I live. Where do I start and what can I do to get this started.

  • cr

    What if there was no custody set up n the child has lived with the father for the past 5 years and the mother is in jail but when she gets out wants the child back a. Does he have any rights? The mother has been to rehab a couple times and now jail, the child knows more than she should about everything from seeing what she has seen over the years. We have taken care of her with all Dr appointments, dental, vision,education, a home, clothing, food and just keeping her safe and trying to keep her out of that lifestyle. Do we have any rights? Or is there any advice you can help us with?

    • Thrifty

      You have rights. You’ve been the primary caregiver for 5 years. It will be a hard fought battle for her to even get unsupervised visits right out of the gate. No worries.

    • mariatrepanier@yahoo.com

      Get legal custody if you think she will want to get them back upon her release. Usually,
      if they have been in trouble with the law it’s hard for he or she to get them back especially, if you have court documents to prove you have custody of them. check with your state to get legal advice hope this helps

    • Jamie Wilson

      I don’t want to break your heart but she is the child’s biological mother and she has rights. What you can do is have the court order the mother do drug tests, rehab. But she will get visitation after she shows she is responsible. You can have the visits supervised. Most likely she will not get custody. It will be very hard and an emotional roller coaster. You have been raising the child for the past 5 years but courts want to see the children with both parents. I don’t agree but that is how the courts work.

  • Aanomous

    My son’s father has never seen the child nor attempted to try to see him. As it turns out he was sleeping with another woman who knew about me & the baby during the majority of my pregnancy. I left him when I was 7 months pregnant while he sat by & watched me 7month pregnant with his little boy lift & carry heavy things out of the home. His new girlfriend knowingly participated in this relationship thus, I feel that says a lot about her character and what she may teach my son. I was told in North Carolina that I have to file for custody even though I am the only one on the birth certificate. So I hired an attorney. My ex showed up in the court & ask for a continuance he got one for 30 days to retain counsel so now two days before the hearing he has JUST retained counsel and is going to be granted 30 more days. In this custody agreement, is there a way to keep the woman who
    I do not know and assure that my sons time is just between him & his dad? Also, he hit me when I was 6months pregnant & a bystander called the police, his home is unfit (no heat, air, urine stains feces stains in floor, soot on walls from karosene heater, unstable stairs to basement, septic tank backing up, plumbing problems, basement floods and there is mold and rats, house is also infested with bugs) please can someone give me my options. My attorney does not seem to concerned and at times he seems to almost be looking after the fathers interest & not mine & my sons. Suggestions, anyone?

  • C.B.2013

    My Ex husband and I divorced in Indiana. I currently live with my new husband and my children from my previous marriage (to which I was awarded primary physical and legal custody, and ex was awarded visitations) in West Virginia. My ex doesn’t contact the boys regularly – maybe once every five or six months, sometimes longer – and the last conversation he had with my youngest son over the phone caused psychological, emotional and behavioral problems that lasted a couple of weeks. He even called my son “a little B!^ch” to him over the phone. My youngest son (whom I am referring to) is special needs, and my oldest son hates his biological father. I need to know how I can get his rights terminated so my now husband can adopt my boys. My current husband has been taking care of them since my separation from their biological father 7 years ago. Any help would be appreciated as soon as possible because my ex is saying he wants the boys this coming summer. I’m terrified for their well being. Please help.

  • joseph

    im the father of a two year old son.. i filed emergency custody an got granted will be going back to court on dec 31 of this year she she was cheating on me while suposely going to spend some time with her mother.. i was with her 4yrs. the last 2yrs she was trying to kill her self by slicing her wrist an poping depression pills with alcohol..will that help me in court to get custody of my son

  • joseph

    please need some advice call me or tex me 5598004576

  • monica

    I have a 16 yr old daughter who is married and has left her abusive patner husband. They have a 7 month old and have no legal paperwork filed how can she share custody witjout paperwork stating that he must bring back the baby

    • Thrifty

      I know your question is old and I hope everything’s been worked out. But maybe I can help someone else. If there is no paperwork, the father does not HAVE to bring baby back. Mom will have to go to court and ask for them to put an immediate order in place that states the child is to live with her and he has to give the child back immediately.
      Granted I live in Canada, but it seems this is pretty standard- no order, no rules. 🙁

    • mariatrepanier@yahoo.com

      If neither have paper work I would try calling the Police and tell them to meet her at his place to get the baby back from him and obviously the baby is not safe with an abusive person . Maybe first try telling him that she is going to take the baby for a walk an bring him right back. Then asap file for custody without paper work?? Someone must always have custody papers married for not …

  • stephie

    my stepmother has custody of my daughter who is now 14. I have moved from south Carolina to be close to her and my stepmom and I think my daughter should live with me . Im not sure what paperwork or how to proceed since dss placed my daughter with my mom years ago from another state?

    • Jamie Wilson

      First, you should contact dss and see what you can do to regain custody of your daughter. If they give you a problem then you go and file for custody of your child. Look up your local court system they have information on filing different kinds of papers. Good luck.

  • Rose Marylove

    lizzy The love of my life dumped me a while ago and I could not get back into any shape mentally. I love him so much I could not think, eat, talk, or walk without the ache in my heart and the thoughts in my head that were about him and the guilt I feel at cheating on him. I so wish that I could have changed the clock back and never to have experienced the raw lesson of adultery. He was so angry when he found out. Yes quite right. I am guilty. I did not think of an outcome.dr olokun temple has helped me so much. Firstly to move the big breaks in my heart and to see all things differently. Then to ease my way through a different door in my head. He made me realize my self respect and understand the reason I have done such a thing to hurt my husband.I now believe in the powers of dr olokun temple as my husband has said we could work things out. Thank drolokuntemple@gmail.com thank you very much

  • Donna Ledbetter

    Ok so I have basically raised my grand daughters mom works two jobs and when not working is mostly in bed rarely spending time with the girls and I can not get along with the live in boyfriend anymore . He is some what ok with them but the only thing he knows is discipline and chores he does not understand nurture and I grand mother have been basically raising them for most of their lives so what can I do to get full custody oh and their dad is only interested in them as arm candy

  • edgar mata

    A Question? my wife and her exhusband have join custody over their son 9yrs. Old one week with us and one with him , he left to another city due to his work about 2 years ago my wife and I wee been providing for him and only going to him every other week , but we are tired of him changing or ways to raise him and wanting to impose his will over , and sometimes insulting my wife over the phone , I have been staying out of it , but enough is enough. Can stay out and let some low class individual insulting my wife and trying to ruin our boy (stepson) . Can we file full custody in our city without filing where he is , according with divorce and child custody he was supposed to move close to us so the child will attend school were we live . Thanks .

  • JH

    I have sole legal and physical custody of my child and his stepfather wants to adopt him, do I have to ask permission from the father if he has a felony conviction and was sentenced to 37 years in 2010?

  • Williams Garrett

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    there is nothing Doctor itapu can not do with is spell and just as
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  • disqus_ozIfMtrWSz

    I live in Mass, I am divorced with 2 kids, my ex wife lives minutes away from me, we have shared custody and my kids go to our school system. That all works out great. My problem is my girlfriend lives about 2 hours away from me, still in Mass but she has her own shared custody issue with an unreasonable ex. I’m trying to find a way for her and her son to live with me and get suggestions on a way to make this work. Her son is only 3 and just started preschool, so I don’t think it would be a major issue to move him to a different school. The big question is how does she work out/agree on a school for her son to go to say mid way between us and her ex would also have to agree. I would assume these types of issues happen all the time and there has to be a way to work them out. Any thoughts or help? This is becoming a major problem because we barely get to see each other due to the shared schedules we both have and may end our relationship if we cant figure it out. It would be an absolute shame because we are so good together. Help!!

  • disqus_ozIfMtrWSz

    I forgot to mention, her ex lives out closer to the 2 hours away area so this is the tricky part. I’m sure he will want him to stay in that area.

  • Big problems 414

    My wife and I are going through divorce/custody (which I took her to court) I was unaware of my rights and didn’t know I had the option to refuse to sign papers when asked so I ended up signing custody over to her. Now that I’ve called lawyers and talked to friends there all telling me I should have and can always refuse to sign. The mother is cruel she lets the middle child (13) live with me and my girlfriend, gets mad when the oldest (16) wants to come over and denies the youngest (10) to even come out and see me when I drop things off to her forget about take her out for the night/day because we are “unsafe and irresponsible” mind you my girl and I work and go to school have a nice well kept place no drugs violence or drinking. She’s called dss on my girlfriend for no good reason and has tried to take her for harassment order when it’s her doing the harassing. A week ago I was able to take the two oldest and my girlfriend to get there nails done but the youngest was left at home with he mother crying that she couldn’t go the mothers excuse to the child was “if let you go with them but it’s court ordered he sees you through court and I will get introuble if you go” is this true? I’m trying to find some type of proof that says she or I will not get introuble if she allows this…any help fell like I’m get screwed left and right. I’m just trying to do the right thing see my kids every weekend, pay child support, and keep the piece between my ex wife and future wife

    • mariatrepanier@yahoo.com

      read what the court ordered documents state you can also get copies of them at
      the District court if you find she is the only one that has them

    • Jamie Wilson

      Bring her to court. There are many things you can do. When you go to court the court will most likely have you speak to a family relations which is like a mediator. Not every situation is for family relations but it is there for the parents to come to an agreement. If you both can’t agree then you will have a trial. Custody is very hard and an emotional roller coaster. If your ex is harassing you and your girlfriend call the police. Get it documented. You need proof when you go to court.

  • tanisha jackson

    I have been married for 8 yrs and in those whole 8 yrs I have been with my husband maybe 6 months of the entire 8 yrs we have been separated at least 7 and a half yrs we have 2 young boys 1 of which I was pregnant with by someone else however my husband did take full responsibility of being his father and is name so on his birth certificate he lives in Texas and I have lived with my sons the entire time in Louisiana . My husband was court ordered to pay child support . And just resently was upset of the amount he had to pay he filed for divorce in Texas and is now not wanting to claim one of his sons that only knows him as his father . I need advice to get jurisdiction in Louisiana however because I answered to a form from the Texas court that I didn’t agree with the form they state I lost jurisdiction. And I needed to seek a Texas attorney which I don’t understand when I lived in Louisiana with my boys for over 8 yrs and both my boys have been in Louisiana school district help I have been raising my kids on my own and he has never even came to see them but maybe a couple of times in the 8 yrs . What can I do to protect my kids and myself .

  • jessica

    my daughters fathers parents have my child and will not give her back to me or let me see her for the past two months I have filed for an emergency hearing but they have not filed any legal custody papers to take her from me…is that kidnapping since they didn’t do it the legal way and are intentionally keeping her from me



    • Jamie Wilson

      If there is no court order stating the grandparents have custody or temporary custody then it is kidnapping. I am confused as to why you waited 2 months but anyways call the police and report that your child has been kidnapped.

  • nickey

    My boyfriend of 5 years is mad because i dont let him take our kids. When ever he sees them its when ever he sees me. He texts amd drives, lets his young kids ride in the front, puts kids in car seat but doesnt strap it,things like that so i am not comfortable with him having them . It only takes a second for get in a wreck. I dont wamt that to happen while me kids are in the car. Both kids have my name and the next on due in a few months will also be given my name. Meanwhile he wants to tale me to court claiming i keep the kids from him n never let him see him.

  • riley

    My son is 5 I have had him almost every weekend seens him mother and broke up when he was 18 months and ever week day I could possibly have him she is now trying to keep him from me and puch me out of his life if she wont let me see him what is the fastest way for me to get visitation in any way and how long will it take for me to see him agin

  • dawne

    I have supervised visitations with my 2yr old daughter. I live like 2hrs from my daughter. I would like for my daughter to come down for say a weekend without her mom. We would be either at my mom’s or my aunt’s house. That way im not breaking visitations. How can i have my daughter come down without her mom. That way i still see my.daughter. her mom is a b**** an likes to control an holds my daughter over my head to put me under street. Ive got 2 boys that would like to see. Their half sister an my girlfiend an grandma would like to see her.

    What can i do so that way he can still see an visit his daughter. Instead of driving up north to see her. Please help. Im beyond tired of going up there. He said im tried of going up there. Something else will need to be done so she can stop .

    • mariatrepanier@yahoo.com

      I would try moving near children her which is probably easier said then done. You may have
      to alter the affadavid through the District Court which means you need an Attorney

  • sheri


  • sheri

    my step daughters ex boyfriend has custial rights to their 6 year old daughter, while my step daughter also has 50% allocated rights. my question is, does the custodial father have the right to have the child flown 6 states away with a non family member without the permission from the mother in the state of maine

  • A

    I’ve had a minute order for the past 7 years stating that I have sole physical custody and joint legal. My son’s non custodial parent had not been involved all this time. How do I proceed forward in making my minute order final? I’d like to travel with my son and my husband (his step dad) but do not think I can get a passport without his biological parent’s consent (he is nowhere to be found)

  • erika

    I want to know how to I get daughter from my ex, we have a non legal written parent time agreement that allowed us to have her every other week. He won’t let me have her back. He even called caps with lies. I scheduled a home visit with them on Monday. Can’t I get my daughter from him?

  • erika

    Cps *

  • que

    My wife is in the Army and we separated on August 6,2013 and I have had my son ,I have taken him to visit her but on July 4, 2014 she was on leave and didn’t tell me she came and took him from Mississippi and took him to elpaso tx where she lives can I file kidnapping charges on her

    • mariatrepanier@yahoo.com

      My experience living in the State of Washington is as long as she hasn’t been told by the Judge not to take the kids out of the State no problem there. If the judge told her not to take the child out of state and she does then she is in contempt of court and can be arrested you had better not other wise she is violating the law and can be arrested. You have the right to continue your life as you wish regardless of who has custody or not .call your nearest law office of your state as it may vary in different states but I think it goes for most states. hope this helps

  • Jen

    My daughter which my sister has temporary custody of is now with my mother the grandmother of my daughter. My mother is filing a modification for her to be the main person to make decisions about the safety and welfare. Well i do not want my sister in the modification papers which are making me the mother and my sister joint managing coservetors. Does she have to be in the new modification

  • keelyelisenicole1

    if parents separate, can the baby momma keep the father from having a relationship with someone else because she doesn’t want other women away from the child?

  • gregg

    I have shared custody of both my kids with my x n now with a new school they are in her husband keeps showing up at the school during my custody weeks is this legal?

  • mo

    I have an open cps case my worker has decided to close my case on my next court hearing witch is Tuesday now the issue i have is i had missed some drug test witch y cps worker knew about family issues she asked me to do a hair test so i missed my appointment and haven’t had no test done i haven’t been honest because i afraid they will take my baby away i did relapse this will be my second time with this case being open that i do relapse will they take my baby away

    • Jamie Wilson

      No one knows for sure if they will take your baby but you really need to get to rehab. If you want your baby back do everything you can. I know it is easier said than done but in the end it will be worth it. Do the drug test. They may take her either way.

  • kee

    If i sign sole custody over to my mother in law will it completely knock DHR out of the equation Weber they have no say over what my children are allowed too do or who they are allowed around?

  • Shawnya Paugh-Byrd

    My ex husband and I have joint custody in which 3 yrs ago he was primary custodian. But that was just on paper. the boys have lived with me for the past 3 years. 2 weeks ago he didn’t bring them back to me from his weekend. and said since he was primary he could take them to live with him. all because the out of court agreed child support he was giving me wasn’t even close enough to providing for them. he makes 40 an hour yet was only paying me 100 every week for both boys. I asked for more support and he said rather than pay me he would keep them. Can he do this? I need my boys back.

    • Jamie Wilson

      The only way this is going to get resolved is by going to court. It is the best chances that you will get your children back.

      • Shawnya Paugh-Byrd

        Oh we are in the court system. I hav we hired a lawyer and everything. But his lawyer keeps continuing it

  • Kim

    i have sole physical custody and 50% legal custody but i also have open jurisdiction my question is i need to move out of the state can i do that even if the father doesnt approve?

    • mariatrepanier@yahoo.com

      with or without the children you have the right to continue your life as you wish . The problem is that it will be a distance from each other and it will be costly to send the children for visits when you are ordered to do so.

    • Jamie Wilson

      You must get permission from the court first. You don’t want to get arrested for custodial interference.

  • tony holmes

    Can I yet custody of my son while living in a different state

    • mariatrepanier@yahoo.com

      sad but true money is everything I left to Canada after I got married and took my
      seven year old son while we both had joint custody paid 3,000 cash in Canada and got full custody of him
      then I feared to get me back to the states because his father lived in Green-Bay and when he learned of me getting married he figured I had left for Canada when I got back to the states
      it was difficult for him to regain joint-custody. I waited tell my son got older before I ever mentioned him. At age 12 I allowed him to see him often with fear he would do the same to me
      some day. Thank-goodness he is now 21 years old …

    • Jamie Wilson

      It depends. Need more information to know the circumstances.

  • Shawn

    Hello I’m a father of a three year old son and five year old as well.9 months ago me and wife split up and agreed she would have our three year old live with her and our five year old would live with me.My five year old and me live an hour away from wife and other son.We spend weekends together at my wifes house and the boys see each other .My 5 year old is in school I bring him everyday and have a flexible work schedule that works with school and I don’t need a babysitter .Recently my wife is saying she wants our five year old to live with her .She has a very difficult work schedule and takes kids to babysitter and works til 10pm on weekdays.I don’t believe its in our five year olds best interest to live with her .What are the chances that a judge would take him out of my home to live with her and change schools ?She is also a alcoholic and got a DWI recently .Not sure if that changes anything eithet

    • Jamie Wilson

      After reading what you posted the first thing I thought is why were the children separated in the first place. They are brothers and should not be separated. It can cause behavioral and emotional problems for the children. They are young but they know what is going on. But getting to the point. It is not going to look good on the mother because she is a risk to others and herself. In what I read above the boys should both live with you their father. But I am not the judge and neither are you or your ex. The judge is not going to take lightly to her alcoholism and recent DWI. It is nice that the family spends weekends together but the boys need to be in a stable environment with each other. File a emergency ex parte with the court as long as you seek custody of both children. It will do damage to the children if you only want custody of one an not the other. I hope all goes well.

  • L

    I have physical custody of my 2 children and my ex husband and I have joint custody. He never takes the kids and the kids rarely see him except when he decides to randomly stop by when he feels like it. My question is, is it okay for him to show up unannounced? I feel like he does not have the right to just come over to my house as he pleases. Any thoughts?

    • mariatrepanier@yahoo.com

      I had this situation happen to me I got a restraining order against my x – husband not saying this is what you want to do but then I had to pay for someone to take my children to him on his visits
      hope this helps

    • Jamie Wilson

      No, he doesn’t. Bring him back to court and file a modification seeking a schedule on when he is allowed to see the kids.

  • Shannon

    My boyfriend has full custody of his boys (13,15) and has been divorced for 11 years, it states he can’t have over night female guest unless married while he has boys… Do we have to get married or can we have that order changed?

  • Ms. B

    My great niece has agreed to let me have temporary custody of her 16 mth old daughter. She lives in Detroit and I live in Mississippi…How do we go about getting the temporary custody papers? Will it take a longtime to obtain the paperwork? I know I will have to travel to Detroit but I just need to know the steps to doing this so I can get it right….Will I have to take the paperwork to the courts here in Mississippi if I am getting medical insurance for her? What all will I need to provide on my end to take to court if needed? Thank You!

  • Brown in distress

    My husband can never keep a job for more than a year this causes alot of financial stress on me in addition to this he has cheated on me serveral times , we have been married for 13 years he also has a criminal record we have a son together , when I get to the point when I had enough and want to leave he says he will take me to court for custody of our son .. I in turn will say we can have joint custody but our son should live with me.. He feels that he is the better parent and our son will live with him and he can get spousal supprt from me . Then I will then forget about it and try to make our marriage work but yet something else will happen then I fall into this same pattern .. I don’t trust him I do love him but it has gotten to the point were as I put myself in financial debt and I don’t know how to handle the situation anymore .. Because of the constant stress he puts me through I can’t see myself with him anymore but I’m afraid that the court will grant him full custody and will let my son stay with him ., please advise me on how I can handle this situation

  • Beth

    Umm… I got full custody of my daughter for long time.. I have alittle problem. the father been in and out of my daugther’s life too much. but out of her life is MOST THE TIME than in few time.. So the father been emailed or texted for see daughter. I asked child to see if she like to go to see her father but she said no.. It upset the father and he decided to blamed on me for not letting kid see him but I just finallly woke him up that It all was Daughter answered not me.. So My daughter emailed him few days ago, She asked for changing her name and He told her refused… then they started agrued cuz the father want her to see him more but he always busy for anything what he do more than spend time with daughter. that’s however he been out of her life too much! So daughter just told him that she never want him into her life.. Then the father decided to keep those email to proof to sue .. Isn’t that allow for him to sue for not visitations thing that daughter who don’t want see him at all.. So My daughter asked me for restraining order on the father cuz she don’t want him into her life and contact too… I know that I can’t go to get restraining order on him for her but can child get one on child’s father? Just all I can do what’s the best!?! I need some advice… Thanks! 🙂

  • g

    I have temporary guardianship over my x-husbands daughter who just turned 17. Her mother kicked her out because she is gay. Her father is a deadbeat. Are either of her parents legally required to pay me support for their child?

  • ddsix

    My daughters father gets her every weekend and I get her 1 weekend a month and Monday to Friday

  • kpt

    My sister got mad at me and called DSS.They have came out and has been good but I have depression and anxiety problems and I take medicine for them.Now DSS wants me to see their therapists and treats me like im a bad mom because I suffer from depression.Does anyone know my rights?

  • Jessica

    I have two children born when we weren’t married but later married (like 10yrs later) do I still have full custody since we are now separating and he is wanting to take our oldest with him?

  • Valvado Smith

    I Have a question. I have a joint legal and physical custody of my children with my ex. We had an oral agreement that the Children will not be having sleepovers with their friends outside our home till they become of age. The children are 11 and 12years old now, and frequently doing sleepovers in other peoples houses without my consent. Does she have the right to make such decisions on the days that she has custody?

  • cmlaw

    I have sole physical custody of my son his father can pick him up at school after school on Wednesdays. Can he have someone else pick him up or put his wife or mother on the emergency card?

  • ray

    My ex moved my daughters in with her boyfriend as soon as custody was established it state she can only have him for overnight visits. Can i get temporary custody until she moves out or they get married… this is the 3rd guy she has moved them in with in 5 years

  • cindy lou

    try to keep this short……………..my son has custody of his 3 children…………the mother has been ordered by the court like years ago to pay support……still nothing…last court date was a week ago and she was again a no show………..yes she has a warrant but can’t be found………THE BIG PROBLEM….my son needs medical help…….physically……….welfare or whatever its called these days will not help him because he has no proof that he IS NOT RECIEVING CHILD SUPPORT????…………….his health is getting worse…………he works and its hard……..

  • Worried Grandparents

    Hi I have a question. My husband and I have permanent custody of our grandson. His mother had taken him while we were trying to get custody, she took the child to Ohio and left him with her parents. We had him listed with the National missing childrens. We found him in August. Since then we have had legal action against our son for assaulting my husband and myself because we wouldn’t let him leave with the child. Now the mother is trying to get custody or visitation we don’t know what it is yet. We received a notice saying that we will be receiving a court date. I called the caseworker that is assigned and she said she couldn’t tell me what or who has filed. It says on the paper that it was sent to mother and her lawyer. She never had a lawyer or ever came to court.
    Our order says we have permanent sole legal and physical care,custody and control of the minor child.
    It says the defendants are unfit and that their constitutional rights to exercise the care,custody and control of the minor child has been forfeited.
    Our lawyer retired the day after we got custody. My question is what do we need to do? Are we in danger of loosing him. We do not have alot of money. We just bought a new home, so to have to pay a lawyer again is going to be hard. Please help us and let us know the best thing to do.
    Both parents are drug users among other things.

  • Kelsey

    I have a younger sister in a predicament.. I believe my parents have joint custody, my sister would go to my dads house on the weekends. My dad has been a truck driver for a couple of years so he is only in town once a month usually. My sister still like to go to my dads house and spend time with our step mom. She is not in any sort of agreement because they were only remarried this year and the divorce was years ago. My mom is withholding my sister from going to her dads house bc “she doesn’t need to spend ever weekend there”. Personally I know that my mom is just jealous of the fact that my sister wants to hang out with my step mom rather than her. At the end of the day both my mom and stepdad work every weekend so she ends up spending the weekend alone instead of with family. My question in the end is weather or not she can legally do this considering in the agreement she is to spend weekends with her father? I understand it may need to be rewritten in the agreement but at this point my 15 year old sister is suffering due to the selfish decisions my mom is making.

  • frustrated325

    I would like to know if my sons mother can make appointments for him during my visitation time? I get my son Friday 5:30pm through Sunday 5pm every other weekend. For the past year every Saturday she has him in some kind of sport and now that there is no sports to be played she has scheduled him in tutoring, so even on my weekends on Saturdays she makes appointments for him and she is always there. Is she allowed to do this?

  • Lscripture

    My husband got divorced from his ex a year and a half ago.. They went to court and he got primary residence, and they were both to have joint legal custody. She was ordered to pay child support… The first, at least 6 months, she had bounced from job to job, then didn’t work for a while, etc… She also got remarried. Times with the children were set to have a schedule, then it would have to be changed because she changed jobs and her work schedule was different, then it would be back n forth with her not being able to pick them up sometimes when it was her day to have them.. Her and her husband split up last march for a month and she was sleeping on her friends couch because she had no job, no car, etc.. And my husband told her the kids weren’t spending the night while she was staying there.. After about a month or so she ended up back with her husband. She’s been doing well for almost a year now, and is taking him back to court to try to get their time 50/50.. She lives in a different town from where the kids go to school… Also, we always have to make sure the kids have clothes, pajamas for when they go to her house, because she doesn’t really have anything for them there. What she does buy them, she wants to send to our house to keep here.. There’s so much more little details, but I just want to know what the chances are that she will get it?

  • liwhit50@yahoo.com

    My son is separated from his wife and they have a 7 year old. Her Mother is anorexia and drink wine every night.She also have men aleast 3 so far coming and staying overnight . I am afraid for my grandaughter. My son was told that if he reports her that she would be taken away from him too , because she can say the same thing about him even though he has not. yes he has dated women who has children though but never let them stay overnight or anything out of respect to all. There is a picture of her with one of her boyfriends with partial nude with scratches on his back and my granddaugher found it on her phone , when her mom send it out to friends. My son found it and his mad. Shehad another boyfriend came to her apt. and found her with another man while my grand daughter was there. the guy ran out to my son car he bought her kick and scratch it up. She let one of her other boyfriends drive this car which is in my son’s name only and wreak it. Why is the cps say that his words against her and her against him cause to loose their child. My son need to get her away from her. My grand daughter are having all the signs of her mom’s eating disorder. Her mom has even said to her that she is getting fat even though this child is tall and underweight.

  • Sheila Canfield

    How do I give my daughter to sign and make medical decisions about her children that I have custody of. I am her mother we all live together

  • worrywart84

    I was awarded Sole legal and physical custody of our 2 kids. Our son is 8 and our daughter is 11. Their father has visitation every other weekend. I recently found out that back in February 2015 the kids father received a DWI & was charged with CHILD ABUSE because our 8 yr old son was a passenger in the car while he was driving drunk.. Their dad blew a .17….over 2x the legal limit in N.C. Is he obligated to notify me of incidents such as this????? The officer didn’t even try to contact me. He allowed the kids father’s girlfriend to come pick my son up from the Police Station. Also, is this incident grounds for a Modification of the custody order in regards to his visitation?????

  • CC

    Hi, I am in a difficult situation. My ex husband (joint custody) was incarcerated 5 Months ago. Since then my son, who is 171/2 and has had depression for a couple years, became even more depressed. He tried committing suicide a couple times and I needed to check him into the hospital. His father hasn’t tried contacting my son by phone or mail for the entire 5months. My son was in out patient for a few weeks and still was not doing well. I decided to place him in a boarding/therapy school for 6 months. He did all of this willingly and does want the therapy. He has expressed that his father is the problem to many therapists. Once his father gets out of jail, do I need to tell him where he is? He has a very bad temper, does drugs and doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He won’t care about interfering with his sons treatment “because it is his right”. I want it to be my sons choice if he wants to speak to his father or not. Any advice would be great. Thank you!

  • sam

    My husband signed a paper giving his baby’s mom sole custody and he had no idea that’s what it was for. He was told it was only to say he didn’t want any visitation. The only reason he didn’t want any visitation was because the moms been harassing us the past few months on social media. He didn’t know he had a child the mother waited 3 and a half years to DNA test him and it was sprung on him he had to tell me who he’s been married to for 3 years and we have a 5 year old son so he wasn’t in the right state of mind in fear of what may happen to his family he had for the last few years. He was determined father Nov 2014 and the mother recently signed off her rights Feb 2015 we sent a paper stating we wanted to gain full custody and they said he had signed sole custody to mom so we just sent a paper in to file a motion for change of custody because the moms sister now has custody of the child. I’m wondering if there’s anything my husband can do because friend of court is treating him like crap and won’t help him at all. You think they would want the child with atleast one parent we own our own house and have a 5 year old that is in a lot of activities and has been going to school since he was 2. We feel she would be best with us as we are stable secure and a family. PLEASE PLEASE help us we feel absolutely helpless and don’t know where to turn
    . We really can’t afford the extra money for an attourney at the present time and really need the extra help we live in Michigan so i would need opinions from people who understand michigan laws thanks in advance

  • john

    girlfriend has a timeshare agreement that states if the parents can not agree on a time for the mother to have visitation of her daughter then she will have visitation every other weekend from Friday 5:00 pm to Sunday 5:00 PM., and is not permitted overnight stays unless she can provide a stable safe substance free environment. Whos responsibility is it to decide and in what time frame needs to be decided if her living enviornment it safe stable and substance free. The father is now denying overnight stays and has made no attempt to come to my house look at the stability of my household. If somone could please help with the answer to my question it would be much appriciated.

  • deidre

    My sister in law lives in Wisconsin. She is divorced and her 11yr old daughter,who is bipolar, is in urgent need of mental health care. She has severe mood swings,refuses to attend school and her 9yr old sister is terrified of her. Her ex husband refuses to consent to mental health treatment. Hes even gone as far as telling the Dr that his daughter only has these problems because of cats in the house. Custody is supposed to be 50/50 but he only sees her on the weekends and sometimes when school is out. The mother provides health insurance. The girls mental heath is quickly tumbling out of control. What can the mother do without having to involve the court system or is that her only option. Please help

  • lean

    Hi im from California my fiancee its in jail but he has 3 kids and his kod baby mother dont tread the kids right. The oldest iS 5 years old and still not enrolled in school . So is just a bad situation. Can i fight for the kids custody? ?

  • ms

    Ugh idk where to start…… Ok, the father of my 8mth old baby is not on the birth certificate because I’m not sure who the father is.. I was dating 2 guys around the time I got pregnant.. I ended up getting together with one of them but it didn’t last no more than 2wks. We l were off and on because he would drink too much, did and still does drugs, he’s hit me more than once, he’s destroyed my property more than once he’s mistreated my younger son that is not his.. He has been in and out of my daughters life.. He’s been outta her life longer than in.. Every time we’d argue (due to askig him to buy diapers but refused) he would get mad he would break something of mine and then call the cops and tell them that I won’t leave him alone, he did that like 5 times and not one time did I do anything. He lied so many times to the cops but they believed him.. Well any ways the main thing is that the judge granted him full custody and I’m not even sure if he’s the father. He’s not in the birth certificate and never took a DNA.. So how can a judge give someone full custody without showing proof that he’s the biological father?? Please please help.. I’ve called family law, child support, welfare and none of them cared to help. They all said that there’s nothing I can do…… She doesn’t know him like she knows me……. This guy has 3 duis, domestic violence with 2 different persons, first one he was sentenced 1yr but did 6mths, second one the judge dropped the case or whatever it is because she had no paper work on him look why he was there.. He has a drug problem and a drinking problem.. I have him recorded saying that he just bought some drugs and that he’s been drinking to much and was going to do a line….. I could go on and on about this but its too much….. What can I do?? Is there no hope for me getting my baby back??

  • Liz

    My birthday falls on my exs visitation day he was granted for our children to be with him on his birthday and Father’s Day can I have my son on my day even though it wasn’t stated it was just assumed?

  • alice

    Alice in ny. My necie past away in april before she past away i was caring for her children. My brother the children grandfather got them doing that time refuse to return them now im going to cor
    Court for custody. I have a very big hang up. Cant find one of the dads how do i serve the father o
    If all i know is h i s name. My neice and her children has lived with me since2005. Somebody please help

  • sheila parks

    I live in Georgia and have sole physical custody of my 3 boys, my ex-husband now lives in Florida but has the right to get them during odd years for the summer(within 100 mile radius), but i allowed them to be taken to Florida by the grandparents(his parents) for the summer-until July 11th. Now he’s talking about not bringing them back to me, Can he keep our children? Please help..The divorce/custody was done in Georgia.

  • k

    my 26 year old daughter moved to new jersey 14 mos. ago to live with the father of her 5 year old daughter.they dont get along and have just co-habitated for the sake of the child, living at his mothers home .tired of the tension and living arrangement she developed a new relationship that took her to new mexico for two months with child and dad ok with that. now he wants child back in new jersey to start kindergarten,however all of her side of the family live here in kansas where she wants to put her child through kindergarten so she can work and save money to make a move back to east coast and be able to live independently from father and establish a parenting plan but she is concerned that he can stop her from this plan and wants to know how does she protect that from happening.she is not married to him nor do they have anything established in the courts .if she has only been in the state of kansas
    2 months and not the 6 mos they talk about before you can file for custody what should she do

  • Karen Verret

    granddaughter is moving to Alabama and will try to get medcade for her baby and food stamps.While living with boyfriend ,after doing this can she leave the state at anytime to come back to Louisiana.

  • Zach findley

    Please help. My girlfriend failed a drug test for cps. I am not married to her and I have no kids of my own. Now cps is coming to my house and demanding that I get in touch with them. The kids don’t come here or stay here. I have no kids!! Why are they sandy g I talk to thwm

  • jasmine

    If a paternity test is done and it comes positive that the guy is the father can he take a child from his mother after 8 years of not wanting to be in the child lifes. Also does the father get put onto the birth certifcate without mothers consent.

  • deasy

    I need help please. My husband is a widower with no job and 2 kids. i tried hard to live with them but now i have 5 months baby it is very hard,last week, we had fight about his kids and instead solve the problems, he took his kids for holidays without said anything to me. then now he came back with his mom and attack me like i am a liar, this is not my house etc. the day he did not show up, i think this is enough and I want to separate. take my baby with me and raise her by myself. I am Indonesian living in netherlands,my husband is dutch. for a year i don’t have legal document and still in process because he doesn’t has job. I want a full custody of my baby and bring her to Indonesia. What should I do here? please help me.

  • needadvice

    Honorable Judge blah blah , Cause NO:xxxxxxxxxxx

    I D came before you on 02/13/ 2014 regarding my request that custody of my son would temporarily be granted to my sister until I was able to establish a well-adjusted lifestyle in the state of Texas. Your judgment afforded me that opportunity and my request was granted. As a result of that hearing, my sister began to care for my son during my relocation that would result in his return to my care once I was established.

    Therefore, I’m asking the courts to please set a hearing so that I can bring forth evidence that my agreement has been fulfilled and that custody of my son is awarded back to me.

    During this time,

    I’m also asking the Court to please allow me to bring to its attention my concerns with the communication barrier my sister has put before my son and I. I’m currently denied continual communication with my son or have planned visits. My sister has taken it upon herself to initiate invalid reasons to withhold and alter the order that was established by the Court and the agreement that at its beginnings was so well accepted between her and I. It is my hope that the Court will honor my request once again and return custody of my son back to me as the matters that brought my initial request to you have been fully extinguished and in its place is a renewed woman in all regards.

    I currently reside back in Garrett Indiana and have been back since April 8th 2015. I made trips home every two months to visit with Arden. These times were crucial to me and I wanted them to be special for us. My sister would not allow him to leave with me for any longer than an hour, nor stay overnight with me at hotel I was at… Most of the trips were sadly not enjoyed by my son and I. In fact with each visit was more about Jennifer s feelings then my son. Christmas break was heartbreaking for my son and I. I was told not to visit because Arden would be spending Christmas with them. His birthday is 23rd of December I wanted to at least be there for that she said there would be to much going on and to celebrate it couple weeks later with the promise of at least skyping me while he blew out his candles. which she failed to do her excuse saying it just happened to quick. last visit I ended up spending one whole week out of two not allowed to see Arden. Do to my being 17minutes late because of bad winter snow fall. This continued on to my not be able to speak to him on the phone unless he was at my mothers. I could not bear to not be with my son any longer. I am lucky to have a great company that I have been employed by since Feb. 2014 that has granted me with time I need to bring my missing piece to my family with me.

    My coming back to Garrett I have not tried to interfere with routine, I just was hopeful I could become a slow transition part of his routine. In this 4mths I have had 3 overnight stays and was granted 2 hours a day until July 10th This is due to my concern of Arden and I having a conversation why he cannot stay full time with me yet, turned into a emotional meltdown how Aunt Jenny makes him feel like he shouldn’t want me. This wasn’t the first time he has said this, Arden didn’t want to address this with my sister but I felt it was necessary that we Arden, Jennifer and I talk about this. I allowed Arden to speak and she told him he was a liar and she will not have this conversation with me. She left instantly; I am currently not allowed to have any visits with him unless it is in Jennifer’s front yard. She refuses to communicate with me in any way when I tried to talk to her and her husband while they were outside on their porch, I said to her to be an adult and talk to me. She said she doesn’t have to say anything to me why wouldn’t you? Her husband yelled “because she doesn’t now get the fuck off my property” this happened again right in front of my son

  • Robert

    My Brother was dating a women who ended up getting pergo well she had the baby and he singed papers saying hes the father we’ll no we found out the child mite not be His also the CPS took the child from her yesterday.My Brother cannot even take care of himself at this point he has legal issues he needs to address.Im a Father raised my son hes an adult now.Im willing to take the baby pending the chid is his until he gets on his feet.I make $70,000 a year also buying my home.Im single but will move my mom from Califorina to where i live in mississippi to help me with the child.can someone tell me what i need to do

  • R

    I have joint legal sole physical custody of my 2yr old and his dad told me he’s going to cut his hair without my consent, can he do that?

  • Tama Wilkin

    My baby ddy and I have 50/50 wen my daughter was an infant we split I was homeless so I had her stay wit him now that I have a place and doing better I just want my daughter for weekends she’s happy wit him but he won’t even let me have an hr alone with her and I think the custody order exp. What do I do

    • Tama Wilkin

      And she is 3 now he took her to Florida on mothers day without telling me wrecked a car with her in it without telling me her first day of preschool was today and he didnybeven tell me til after

  • Angela wilkins

    my husband ex wife begin to sue him for back child support after we were married . she has recently committed suicide can someone tell me who do he pay child support to now and she had sole custody

  • leevi39

    My son doesn’t have anything to do with his daughter and his ex girlfriend lets me have her all the time. I am concerned about if she were to need to go to Dr or such. How can I get legal rights to any and all care for her while she is with me. As is probably obvious, I am the paternal grandmother.

  • karen

    I raised my boyfriends daughter from an infant,with him. The bio momlost 2 other bio kids.bio mom has been on supervisedun most of the child’s life. Sh hasn’t seen the child for 2 yes. And moved out of state, nor paid any child support. The child does not want her in her life and wants me to be her adopted mom. Can this be done.
    The bio just now gets to have supervised visits again. Please help us.
    The bio mom has had a drug and alcohol problem for yes. That’s why she lost her previous child.one she made a deal to sign off rights because she went to jail for owing so much child support.

  • Tina Marie M

    I just got a divorce a few months ago. My ex husband has visitation only. I have both physical and legal custody. He has up until the present not paid any child support. He does not even provide for the hygiene needs of his children while they are at his house. He has been in and out of the hospital. Is it OK to not have the kids go to his house this weekend because he just got out of the hospital? I’m an MA and it is important that he gets rest so he can be healthy for the kids. Am I right to do this?

  • Javille

    My daughter had been with my aunt since she was born she is now 14 months and her father appeared out of the blue saying he wants his daughter but I want her to stay where she is he said he isn’t going to court and isn’t giving up his rights so my question is can I still give up my rights and she remains where she’s at?

  • disqus_3Y1AHdxs8y

    I need all the advice I could get. The father of my 6 year old and I have recently gone to mediation. Mediator noted that the receiving parent pick up my child from residence.. I do not agree to this. I said so. She still noted it down. Now, here’s why.. the past 6 years of her life he hasn’t been the one to care for her. His father does everything for her when she is there (fri-Sun) I have always purchased everything for her and he recently began to pay child support 1 year ago. I relocated 1 year ago. 60 miles away from him. I have always been the one to do things such as, provide food, clothes, schedule dr appt, take her to appts, take her to and from school, help with homework, etc.., pay copays, medical expenses, I do all of that. I always have. His 80 dollar monthly support isn’t enough to cover much.. I don’t feel that he has ever had much responsibility with her and the least he could do would be to pick her up and drop her off. my child now comes home saying things like my dad hates you huh mom. She tells me things like she didn’t brush her teeth all weekend, didn’t shower, etc.., she was questioned by her new step mother and felt a little uncomfortable and nervous.. now, we are just now going through custody and we do not have a court ordered visitation schedule. I was the one to relocate with his VERBAL consent. Today he picked her up and said if I’m not there for her on Sunday it’ll be worse for me and he will just see me back in court. She is enrolled in school here and this is her primary residence. If he does not return her before school on Monday is there anything I could do? I am located in the state of california. My heart is heavy ever since that was said to me. Am I doing something wrong? Have I done something illegal? For some reason I fear him.. besides the fact that he’s a verbally abusive person I am very intimidated by all of this right now. Please help! Thank you in advance.

  • Jeannine Laflamme

    Question, I have filled an ex parte order, ex husband has been served. I was awarded full residential responsibility until the court proceeding due to neglect as our 6 year old was picked up at night by police due to a family calling the police staying they had a missing child. If the father wants to pick up the children and take them away from my residence is he entitled, and if so can they spend the night. I am not comfortable with this.

  • Jessica Miljies

    I signed over custody when I got divorced cause I left an it was stable there with dad an now I can talk when he isn’t busy an I can’t see them less I go ta the school the parenting plan says supervised visits but don’t say how many when where nothing can he prevent me from seeing them I try an try I love them can I get my rights back

  • heart broken grandmother

    My ex daughter in law left to florida for a visit and took my grandbaby, and never came back. While over there she lost custody of my grandson her mother has him. But when cps asked about the father my son she lied to the courts and told them that he was a drug user, but thats not true she lives as a stripper and uses drugs and so does her mother its been 4 years, we are moving the family over there to try and get him back. What are my sons chance for him to get his son in his life, my son is in a relationship and has had a beautiful daughter. What are the chances on him getting him back.

  • Linda Torres

    I have a 5 year old father hasn’t seen him n know he wants custody can they give it to him

  • James Walker Hall

    Dcf awarded me custudy of my daughter because she was in custody with her mother and the mother was found with multiple drugs in her system. The gave her a case plan that she never started and did not show up for any court dates. Dcf closed out her case and awarded new custudy of my daughter and told me that phone calls and visitation would be per my digression. They also told her that she would have to go to family court if I decided to not let her see my daughter. My question is an I allowed to leave the state with my daughter because I recently received a job offer in New York

  • TianaDoolin

    I’m curious… my daughters dad left me the day i told him i was pregnant…i did NOT put him on the birth certifcate. that was 4 years 3 months ago. she is now 3 years old and 6 months old. he decided about 4 weeks ago he wants to be in her life. does he have any legal rights to him, even if he takes me to court? or is it in his best interest to go through me because I have sole control over this? if we did end up in court what is the most he would possibly be able to get?
    if you could email me back that would be great. tdoolin85@gmail.com
    we are in washignton state

  • Bella

    I have sole primary legal custody of my twin 12 year old girls and their father has never pay child support her financially in anyway have taken care of them that he’s trying to force me and threaten me saying that ‘s convenient for him and it’s always a problem every time they go over there he doesn’t buy them anything doesn’t support them in any way I need someone to help me with this question thankespecially when he doesn’t see them only when it’s convenient for him and it’s always a problem every time they go over there he doesn’t buy them anything doesn’t support them in any way I need someone to help me with this question thank you

  • Kee

    I’ve been raising my son since birth(15yrs) with little help from his father. His father started a new family and moved 2hrs away. Now that my son is 15, I feel that he needs his father now more than ever. He started to act out in school and I feel that he’s need to go stay with his father. I’ve tried this before allowing my son to go live with his father but he always came up with some excuse not being able to take him. Now that the courts has caught up with him for child support, he’s been really trying to get our son. But he states that he has to have full custody to enroll him in school, etc. My sons father is in the rear for child support and I feel he is only trying to get our son to stop child support. What do I have to do to get it court ordered to where he has to allow his son to stay with him and still owe what he owes in child support?

  • Tilae Lawrence

    1 year before their father was incarcerated back on 6/18/2011 for sex w/ a minor, I agree to switch from primary to secondary custody because of the long work hours I had at the time when we were living apart. We agreed this was only temporary. Shortly after he was arrested during a big sting in FL (had no idea he took the kids out of state) when trying to hook up with an undercover cop posing as a 13 year old girl. I’m reaching out to find out what my options are in GA state as I feel he should lose all custodian rights. He cannot be w/in several feet of children, schools etc… we were denied visitation rights in FL because the kids are minors. His release date is set for 2/5/18 but he could gain time based on his behavior which will allow him to be released as early as 10/19/2017. I don’t know if I can just go in the court where I filed for divorce to revise the uncontested documents, get a modification of custody or if I need to seek a lawyer in order to have all this done. I have all the documentation supporting his arrest. Why he was arrested and what jail he’s currently serving time. You’re help will be so appreciated. I feel so lost in this process.

  • Mindy Qualls

    Does anyone know if Dhs can just say you have to have supervised visitation after they closed the case? There was no court order ever. They closed the case with no finding of abuse or neglect but after they closed the case now they are saying supervise visitation. Can they do that?

  • Veronica Salazar

    I have been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years I have a son that is now 5 years old. My boyfriend has been through pregnancy,birth, and in his life since day one…now we have been seperated for 3 was now and going to court for child support..boyfriend signed the birth certificate and now saying if he is not the father he will not pay anything or see him I’m so confused I have had medicaid and food stamps while with my boyfriend so he hasn’t really had to pay much but now I’m single mom and need him to help financially.. If he is not father when DNA is done does he still have to pay

  • Buddha143

    I recently went to court and won full custody however my attorney will not return my call so i xan have rhe new order, is there someone i can contact about that??

  • Sandra P

    My brother wife wanted to divorse and at the time my brother was at mexico when he came back to california she left to texas with out him knowing …..and tokemy brother son with her so mybrother went to court to get rights for hes son …..so do they both have to be living in california ….because my brother stays in carolina and she stays in texas….can they get in trouble for it because they both had court in california

  • Alamap

    I would like to get custody or at least Foster this child whose parents are both addicted to drugs and right now they are letting another person who is addicted to heroin watch a child in an unsafe working environment I do not do drugs on my own business live in the house with my fiance and would love to watch this child he is an adorable little angel do I have any legal

  • Lori Brown

    My husband and I have been to court He filed for custody. He wanted full custody of or 17yr and 6yr. The judge ruled for him sole physical custody and joint legal custody. The father does not work he only wants my 6yr old for the money. I had no lawyer and was not expecting him to win but he played the part of number one dad and won the case is it any way to get joint physical custody put in place if it’s already been ruled that he get sole physical custody. We live a distance away from each other so why can’t I have my 6yr old during summer and the father have him during school?

  • Rhonda Smith

    My husband has began to cheat do drugs how can I. Get sole custody with him only having dupervised visitation he has no license has depression and drug use records in his medical records where i called ambulance because he threatened killing himself i front of minor children be lives in a motel and i provide for kids

  • Grisel Cruz

    Please help, For unmarried parents case, My sister in law made the mistake of leaving her home not takeing her son with her.. In this case who will have full custody of the child? or how could we move foward with this problem.Please help.

  • Daniela Gutierrez

    I was married for 18 years and lived in the state of Illinois. Threw my marriage my husband beat me and our son I’ve called the cops but my dumb ass would drop them well last year in July my kids and I drove down to Texas for vacation like we do every year for the summer. Where he met up with us in Aug. We got into this big physical argument . He beat me almost killed me by running me over with the truck we drove down with. He left me here with nothing but the cloths I had on and drove with my kids back to Illinois. So there was no way of me going back home mths flew by and he promised to send my things and the kids he never did . Then he asked we work things out so I said sure well when March came of 2017 he had a change of mind but threw this time my son would tell me his dad started drinking going out leaving him alone with his sister and would have nothing to eat and he would beat him as well. So I went to get my son after his dad finally sent me a couple things and my ID I brought my son down to Texas cause he asked me to . My husband filed a emergency order against me where I can’t get near our kids the house and him. Well after a mth a court hearing was set so we flew back and the court granted it to him . I showed pic of his abuse to me and my kids my attorney asked to bring my 12 year old son so they question him but they refused. He has cases in Texas where he beat me . He sales drugs and my son seen how guys show up to the house at night for 5 min visits to pick up drugs. But Yet they granted him . So now I can only see my son for 4 hours and I have to give him 48 hour notice I can text and call my son in a Daly basic but he takes or shuts his phone off I bought him one but he took that away from him so I can’t talk to him. So after a couple days after I picked up my son I filled one on him out here in Texas .my son crys to me every day he wants to come live with me. Do i have a chance to get my son back or what will happen . This is killing both my son and I. How long will this take . With the emergency I filled a divorce which his attorney out there claims he filled one back in mach but it was dismissed last year in Dec. What will happen can I get my son back ??? Plz help me someone

  • Tonia Anderson

    Son has primary custody of 4 yr old grandson he has got him in preschool all his shots updated he is now potty trained mom is suicidal been in a rehabilitation for it walked out July 2nd 2016 f grandsons life for 2 month she wanted the bar life
    She has lost her first son to his father she no longer is allowed to see him due to physical verbal abuse
    We have police reports where she is the physical one
    Well 2017 July she is back at it again aggressive stalking my house threatens to kill herself cops were called son isn’t trying to keep him from her he is going g for sole custody she lives with her mom flea infested her brother is a sex offender the 2 brothers do nothing hit drink every night and fight my son don’t want his son around that
    We’re in il and advice would help

  • Chris Lerma

    Hi, So I am having a huge issue with my soon to be ex husband trying to gain custody rights over my child. Me and my sons mother have been there and yet my the step dad sued both me and the mother for custody rights as well as divorce which is fine but I want an annulment if possible because I found out he married me under his other social which i thought only one social is assigned per person. He bought a car under the social I Im not married to and then sold it before he left to new zealand for a year or so in which I became homeless with no transportation to, but really couldn’t do anything because he used his other social. I don’t care about the items I just want him to stay away and stop contacting my child. He didn’t listen and kept sending things to my child from new zealand even after I told him to stop because me and my childs mom have been capable of supporting our child together. He never adopted him or anything. He is a danger to my child after the last incident where he pulled a knife on me saying he was going to kill me while I had my child in my hands, and made it personal to my child saying Your daddy is dead when my son was screaming please don’t hurt my daddy.I have a bunch of evidence of him threatening me, harassing me, even him admitting he frauded my personal account twice. I am a service connected disabled veteranat 80% and about a year ago I found out I was suffering severe health issues from an undiagnosed condition which I have to be treated for the rest of my life. The mom who he sued too gave me the paperwork which was supposed to be served to me but I didn’t think the other respondent was allowed to serve the other respondent. He filed before he even moved back to the states after being in new zealand for a year. So there’s much more but one last thing, I missed the court hearing because of my treatmen and I was never served, hes apparently saying he has custody. There is a deferred hearing coming up apparently but I haven’t been notified, only because the mom recently told me. I also found out the court has been sending the court docs to an address I used to live at with Him back in 2015. Im so stressed. we married november 2013 and separated a several months before he left at the end of 2015. Advice would be great. Thanks.

    Thank you so much

  • Cristina

    Hi I have 3 children CP’s and I volunteer my mother,sister to have temporary guardian ship due to me not having a stable home but now I have a stable studio home of my own went to parenting classes, received my certificate. And in process provide beds.have food.and about to have a job.but my mom and sister made false allegations about my kids father sexual molested my daughter and it came back false.I had over night visitations then got it taken away and then my mom violated my court oder visitations and it went to and far as not allowing me to have no contact with my kids and my guy friend lives with me in my studio homend my mom made false allegations about us having inercourse in my kids presents witch was a lie my question is a long as I have a stable home of my own and provide everything can I get back custody of my kids back .