What Happens When The Custodial Parent Moves Away? 585

How a “Move Away” Can Affect Your Custody Rights

When the custodial parent moves across town, visitation rights can still easily be maintained. But what happens when the custodial parent decides to move farther away, even to another state?

In the past, the custodial parent could move wherever they wanted and the non-custodial parent had no say in the matter. Today however, many states have begun to move away from that line of thinking, recognizing that the disruption in visitation with the non-custodial parent could be detrimental to the child.

Because of this change in perception, some courts now require that the custodial parent give adequate notice before any kind of drastic move and must gain the approval of the non-custodial parent and/or the court before the move can take place.

The custodial parent must have a good reason for the move, such as a new spouse that lives in the proposed location or a verifiable offer of better employment. The court will then have to weigh the expected benefits to the family with the potential disruption to the child.

If the child has a close and involved relationship with the non-custodial parent, the court is less likely to disrupt this relationship. Likewise, if the move would make it difficult or impossible to continue visitation, the court may deny the request. On the other hand, if the non-custodial parent has not taken advantage of scheduled visitation or if the relationship is a strained one, the court may decide to allow the move.

The court will also consider the advantages to the child, such as better education or facilities that could better accommodate the child’s special needs or medical condition.

If the move is allowed, the court will restructure visitation to maintain the relationship between the child and the non-custodial parent and may reduce child support or impose travel expenses on the custodial parent.

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Discussion

  • a stepmom

    What happens when the custodial parent has sole legal custody and the NC parent is in and out of the childrens’ lives? If the C parent has sole physical and legal custody, could they move to another state without being charged with a crime?

    • traci henkels

      Ok I am not a lawyer but, if you have sole physc. and legal custody of your child then there is nothing that he can do to prevent you from moving. The courts want what is best for the child, if there is a pattern that you can prove to the court that dad isnt in their life then not going to be an issue, but, my advice is to talk to an attorney to see what your laws state.

      • Sarah

        Actually, that isn’t correct. Do not listen to that person. I am going throught this same issue right now, and it is absolutely ILLEGAL for the custodial parent, even if you have 100% SOLE custody, to remove the child from the state or county, for that matter, without the approval of the other parent or an order from the court. You can be charged with kidnapping – the reason being that the ordered visitation will be disrupted, and therefore be a violation of the order.

        • Dina

          Sarah is right. I too am going through the same thing. I accepted a better paying job within a company I have worked for 9 years. although I petitioned the court for permission to move, my start date was before my court date. Long story short, the judge was so angry I left without permission that he gave temp. custody to my daughters father until we go back to court in January. He ordered I bring her back to NY immediately or I would be held in contempt! The burden lies on the custodial parent who wishes to move to prove it is in the best interest of the child. look at case. Tropea v Tropea- BTW I have sole physical custody and this same judge had ordered an order of protection against my daughters father. he wasn’t permitted within 100 feet of either her or myself!

        • Anne

          Sara and Dina,

          I am curious how your motions to remove turned out. I went through the same thing at the same time as both of you last year. I am the custodial parent, but share joint legal. My motion was granted, but the imposed visitation is really upsetting my daughter. She never spent more than 3 nights away from me, and is now forced to fly back to visit her father who never made time for her when she lived 10 minutes away…

        • Dan

          Sarah and Anne or anyone,

          I just received a letter from opposing counsel of my ex-wifes notice to move to California due to a job offer and currently the children are in Maryland..I live 5 minutes away in DC. I am the non-custodial parent. We are actually in the middle of a custody battle originating before this notice, where the custodial parent was trying to remove any physical custody from me. What happens in these crazy cases with a psychotic parent in a revengful mode for 9 years? Has anyone gone thorugh this or have some advice?

        • momofmarcus

          There are many factors, are the children in school where you live? Are you actively involved with the children at home and at school? She will use any witness that she can to prove that she is upstanding and you are not involved.
          I am speaking from experience. My husband’s ex wife left to move to DC and never told my now husband. They have a 8 year old child and instead of modifying custody, her mother was taking care of child on her days of visitation.
          In the end the mother lost custody and she has visitation. I feel for the children, Why can’t she just try to modify custody with you? She cannot make a unilateral decision to just take the children because of a job offer.

          Does she change jobs a lot? Do you pay your support if there is an order in place? Are you exercising your visitation without interruption on your part? Do you help take the kids to and from school? Are you involved in their extra activities? Can you show a strong family tie to both families? Would you be willing to be an advocate for keeping an open line of communication for your kids with their mom if you were to have custody. Just remember this all about what is in the best interest for the children. If you go before a Judge with selfish motives he will see right through it. You need to stress that so many fathers are not in their children’s lives and you have made every effort to do so. Are there any issues that may come up about your past that will have a negative impact?

          All of this plays a major part with you keeping your children with you. I hope this works for you.

        • Joe

          You have been reading too many web pages without actual experience. All the sites say this is kidnapping but its not. Its interference with parental visitation, a serious misdemeanor in most states but not a felony. I just came from the police station where they, and the courts refused to do anything even though I had an email from the custodial parent stating she was taking the child out of the country today. The best I can do is wait until visit days Friday and when the child isn’t there file a report for interference with parental visit. Ofcourse that’s not gonna bring my kid back.

        • Fatherof Justin

          Here are the facts: 1. I am involved with my son and his school activities (Cub Scouts, fishing, camping, hiking).
          2. We live in Kansas.
          3. She want to move to Okla. for College.
          4. I pay child support every month.
          5. I do not even claim him every other year at Tax time she does every year.
          Now, here we go she can not leave the state of Kansas without proper notification(Certified Letter) so my only recourse is to file a restraining order so that she may not leave until we have a decision from the court.

        • Steve

          Actually the standards are different in each State. The key is to get legal advice and to follow the law of the state your custody was awarded in. Failing to do so can make you a criminal in many states.

          There are more than enough legal ways and reasons to move to another state but their weight is different by various state statutes. When the NC parent is not active already why risk loosing custody. Many states have in statute and others the courts can award custody Ex Parte to the NC parent making you legally a kidnapper. A family lawyer in your state would know the nuances, procedures and customs of the courts.

          It is much easier in a state where education, jobs, medical, etc are not very good and you are moving to a place where providing for the child will be improved. Many states require that you pay for the travel and make more accommodations for the NC parents visitation. (i.e. if you move from Nevada to New York you may have to pay for airline travel and other expenses to facilitate NC Parent visitation) A good family law attorney could help pre-negotiate terms with the NC before court giving you less responsibility if the NC agrees.

          The bottom line – get a lawyer so you don’t become a criminal.

      • FB

        That is not true, in the state of washington you need to give a sixty day notice no matter what. If you are moving within the state give a 20 day notice. You just can’t get up and go where ever you want with the child. This right here is tricky and you really need to be careful on what you do with that child and moving. My son’s father moved twice without notice and without showing up to my court dates. I fought hard and finally got my child back. Now he wants to fight me for the child back when he messed up twice.

        • Cs

          FB.
          Where did your child’s father move? And how hard did you have to fight?
          I’m looking to move out of Washington state. Where my ex has no interest in our son. But I know once his parents find out they will push him to fight for me to come back.
          I’m trying to do this as legally as possible. But there are so many factors. I’m afraid ill spend all my money to move but won’t have the money to move back if things go south.

        • Robin Holmes

          FB. I also live in the State of Washington. I am a NC but I was active in my girls life and our visit as much as their mother let me. First they moved but stayed in state and did not notify me with their whereabouts and this was a year ago. I called the courts to get her held in contempt but was told there was nothing they or I could do without their new address which I did not have. I just found out that their mother moved them to Alaska and neither time did she notify the courts let alone get consent from myself. No has there been any communication with me the mother or my daughters although I have tried many many time to call her, contact her via facebook and never did I get a reply.

        • Joey

          I have to disagree with FB, it does not matter what state that you live in, what really matters is what sex that you are. If you are male, you have no chance in hell. If you are female, you are above all the laws.

          If you are male, you have to request the right to relocate further than 60 miles away from the court and/or the non-custodial parent – each and every time that you relocate. If not, you will be held in contempt and not only lose custody of your children, but spend time in jail for contempt.

          If you are female, you do not have to notify the other parent and/or the courts and can pretty much move wherever you wish and do as you please and no judge is going to charge you with contempt throw you in jail or take away custody of the children.

          Courts and Judges are afraid of the Family Court System that is run by the women’s and “professional victims” assistance advocates groups that fund the Family Courts and District Attorney’s Office of Child Support Programs from Washington D.C.

          They would not dare to go against this advocacy group and lose their seat on the bench when the advocacy groups seek their vengeance for going against their rules and actually abiding by the laws.

    • Joey

      To be perfectly honest with you, if you are female, not only will you be provided with free attorneys in both your state and your ex’s state at no charge to you, but you can commit any crime including relocating without notice, abducting, custodial interference, hiding and even take your children out of the country and no judge is ever going to charge you with any crimes as long as you do all of this in either the State of Oregon or the State of Nevada.

      I know this because my ex and her “live-in partner” (that is what he calls himself nowdays) have done all of this to me and my child in both Oregon and Nevada for the past five years and gotten away with breaking every single court order, including several trips to other states, fleeing with the child to prevent visitation.

      Not one time has the court every charged them with any crimes and this “live-in partner” even boasts about getting away with it online and in court. The trick is to get a very good liar, I mean attorney, well whats the difference, they both are very good liars.

      • shell

        who are you kidding? if you’re from california like me and my daughter were the mother has no rights. not only can they give the father sole custody of the child but after they do if they wont let you see (the father that is) or talk to your child there’s not a damn thing the mother can do, ;lawyer or not.

        • faithbaby

          do not say that. something wasnt right. they never take the child away from the mother. i have trial on wed. i have a temp. move away and have done nothing but everything needed to get done. i also got a killer job as well as my parents also moved to nevada with me to care for the baby. she is only 1 years old as of yesterday. i believe everything is going to happen the way its suppose to. i know in my heart they wont take my baby away. father is welcomed to come whenever he wants. considering he cancels all his visitations.

        • faithbaby

          not to mention mine was a one nightstand. we were never together. i think its great he wants to be a part of her life .. you just know that she will never be taken away from her mommy

        • Michelle

          exactly and thats exactly what they did to my daughter with her daughter. she hasnt seen her daughter in over a year and the young father only lets us talk to her on the phone or skype with her when he feels like it. we make plans to do it and half the time he never even answers or texts or calls and theres nothing we can do. california is the worst state as mothers rights bc they are extremely FATHER FRIENDLY even when the father has his grandmother watching the child more than half the time and also other relatives and we live in wisconsin.

    • Richard

      I have a question and I’m hoping someone can give me some good advice. My ex-wife and her family are on a removal order from Canada and she’s planning to take my Canadian born son with her. It is obvious that it’s better for him to stay in Canada where he has a better opportunity at a good future. He has a large family here, his father brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles and his grandparents who are all Canadian. She is trying to take him back to Croatia if she gets remove from the country. Advice Anyone?

  • blueyedmomma23

    I have a question? What if the custodial parent has sole physical and legal custody and gets married and ends up marrying a person in the military, gives adequate notice of the fact that they will be stationed elsewhere will the rights of the custodial parent be taken away for this reason of marrying someone in the military service? And also what are the usual outcomes of visitation for the non-custodial parent when the custodial parent moves out of state? I am trying to get some advice so if anyone can help out or been in the same boat please comment back! I am in dire need of some kind of guidance. I am from Oregon and not sure yet where my soon to be husband will be based at, for he doesn’t leave for basic until August, so we won’t find out exactly where he will be based at until the end of the year, but I am in need of some kind of advice… Thanks!

    • Lily girl

      I am in the same situation, so I sympathize. My ex husband rarely takes advantage of his visitations, he does not call, or pay support for our daughter. He has had a DUI, been convicted of domestic violence, and has been found intoxicated with our daughter present on one of the few instances he had a visitation. All of which is reported. I married my new husband and he is active duty in the army. The information I was given is that in my state ( Ohio) I have to get my ex husband s permission to relocate EACH and EVERY time my husband comes down on orders to PCS. If he disagrees, I have to hire an attorney and fight him in the county that our divorce was final. You can see how the expense of this would add up. And yet, despite his many offenses, there is nothing I can do to change this. Good luck.

      • Pinkpanther

        OMG!!! MY EXACT SITUATION. MY EX-HUSBAND RIGHT NOW IS GIVING ME SOOOO MANY PROBLEMS WITH MOVING ON. I AM ENGAGED, MY FIANCE’ WILL BE STATIONED OUT THE COUNTRY IN 2012, AND HE WANTS ME AND MY GIRLS TO BE THERE OF COURSE, BUT MY EX-HUSBAND ISN’T HEARING OF IT. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

        • iknow

          I had the same situation and the courts allowed me to move to europe with my child. my ex gt 2x yearly visitation for all of xmas break and all of summer

        • D.J.

          To: Pink Panther. You name stuck out becasue that is my daughter’s nickname….anyway, I’m sorry to hear about your situation, hopefully you did get a better resolution. I have been away frommy ex for seven years now (just married) known my husband for over 5 years. My ex has not been consistent with seeing my daughter on his visitation. He has disrupted school and my work by missing visitation and leaving my daughter stuck at school and made in impossible at times. He owes quite a bit in back child support and goes from job to job, girlfriend to girlfriend and home to home. He was thrown in jail for not paying child support and not finding a job. I’m so darn frustrated with the Illinois court system. My current husband is living out of state due to a job situation and I want to move there, but I’m hitting road block after road block to move out. I am trying a meeting of the minds with my ex, praying he will see that we are not trying to end his relationship with his daughter, actually he would be seeing her more but all we want is to be able to move 4 hours away and have him meet us half way and if he doesn’t agree to that, I am willing to drive all the way up here to Illinois to drop off my daughter. I ask you and everyone else, does this seem fair. It’s us custodial parents struggling to raise childen, be the taxi driver, the worker, the cook, the maid and when we find a spouse that is willing to help and be that partner we always wanted we get slammed and were told no struggle live separate lives, maintain two households and go broke and good luck with getting child support because we wont’ help you in retreiving the back child support that is owed. Go broke and we will let the non-custodial parent skate free! Thank you goverment!!!

        • Notadbd

          I have tried and tried to get more visitation with my son. Every weekend, every holiday and every possible situation where more visitation could be extended. So when you say you have it hard, you have no idea how unfair it is to be on the other side…

        • nikki

          someone who is going through or HAS been through moving your child out of the country with your husband, PLEASE email me nikkinbrown91@gmail.com

        • GeminiNYC

          Would somebody please update me on you all outcome! I am currently in school to have a career I want to relocate after I finish to be closer to my family that will be able to help the children and I. I have no family in NY.However I was married to the DEVIL himself who was abusive and controlling. I know that he will try to prevent me and the children from seeking a better life. At the I am reading all this horrible stories about being tied up in courts! It seems as if they are allowing ex’s to dictated ones life because we have children in common. At the same time I do what by children to maintain a relationship with their father. My children are 13 and younger they do not want to be bother with him but I do not support that decision because I believe that they are to young to make that choice. He is very controlling. He has me in court now because my children did not want to go with him for one weekend. It is not fair that exs rather male or female can have a power control ego. My ex has legal custody visitations every other weekend as stated before b/c we are in court he is not missing any. So my questions are what were the outcomes? Do the children have any say in a relocation decision if I have to file court? Would I than be able to bring up the fact that non custodial parent doesn’t support the children have resided at 3 different location in the last 4 years fathering children in each before I filed for divorce. Give full custody to one of the parent. I do not want to sound as if I am moving out of spite I stated those fast to show his character and morals. With legal custody he does not show any interest or concerns with their health or education.

        • Stratys

          Funny, custodial parents are actually complaining about this stipulation when NCP’s get screwed by the child support system daily! I had to laugh at many of these posts because as a Non-custodial parent who has remarried and have other children since my child support order was given, I have to pay 50% of my paycheck to Child Support and Insurance only so the family that I live with can’t eat and I am working so many hours to try to stay afloat that I cannot even get my two kids from my ex for a visit! By the way, they live 700 miles away too…if you feel like you are being screwed and your ex is a good father, then give him the kids…I bet he won’t seek child support, oh and if he does, try being on it for a little while and let me know how you feel trying to satisfy the court and see your kids at the same time. Quit all of the crying on this board and find a real solution, like working out a problem on your own for once…took two to make a child, takes two to make a plan! Good Luck!

      • HesASpermDonor

        What state did your divorce take place in that they allow that kinda crap with such a horrible father to your child?

        • inamess

          I am the mother of a 9 year old. His father has physical custody in another state. I have been paying on my support order. I have been allowed short visitations with my son at his father’s mercy. The first 5 years of my child’s life he has been without me one night. After final court orders I’ve seen my son a handful of times. This past summer I was lucky enough to get 3 whole weeks at my sole expense because his father didn’t want to pay more for childcare. Recently I was sent an e-mail from my child’s father stating his job starts in a couple weeks and he will be moving my child out of his current state to another one. the move will cause my child to be twice as far and the only thing he has complied with in the parental plan is insisting I go to nm for visits which I can not afford. After paying support for my son and paying for my youngest childs needs I can’t afford to pay to wash our clothes. I end up spending my nights washing and hanging our clothes to save money for support bills and hoping for a few dollars to spend in case I am able to see our child. You wanted a receiveing end so this is one. I am my child’s mother I have done what I could to better my child’s life. his father was arrested for domestic violence child abuse and drug possession. My situation left me without a job without a home and ultimately without my child.I consently fearing how things are for him and now suddenly I find my child has left nm several weeks earlier than state in his lovely e-mail and I have absolutely no contact information for them. Paying support hurt us overall but at least I had a way to try to contact my child almost every night and now nothing. I don’t even know if ……be glad with what you have

    • http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/755594 Traci Henkels

      So the main question here is relocation. Laws very from state to state, with a little research you’ll have your answer. But most states want a relocation filing done before you intend to leave with the child.

      When it comes to child custody, relocation is hot-button issue. These types of questions are asked frequently by custodial parents who want to relocate with their children in order to pursue a job change, be closer to family members, or even just get a fresh start. However, the decision to move out of state should not be taken lightly.

      First, take the time to carefully reread your divorce decree, child custody ruling, and/or parenting plan to see if the issue of relocation is specifically addressed. If, for example, your documentation states that if either parent wishes to relocate, he or she must give 60 days notice, make sure that you comply. Failure to abide by existing court rulings is likely to have a negative impact on your current request.
      Second, you must consider the child custody laws in your state. Each state has slightly different relocation laws, and some states do require written consent from the non-custodial parent. Therefore, you’ll want to know of any particular statutes in your state that could affect your decision. Seeking the counsel of a qualified family law attorney will also help you understand the implications of a custodial parent’s decision to move out of state.

      Third, if your ex does contest your request to move out of state with the children, you should also be prepared for a full custody evaluation. In particular, be prepared to show:

      Whether the move would result in a better quality of life your children

      The extent to which your ex currently exercises his right to spend time with the children

      That you are willing to allow for longer, less frequent visits if your request to move out of state is approved

      That you will actively support such changes in the visitation schedule

      That you are prepared to absorb the increased cost of transportation

      And that your move is not an attempt to restrict your ex’s access to your children

      Finally, consider carefully the impact this move out of state will have on your children. It is entirely possible that the benefits of increased pay, or closer proximity to extended family members, do not outweigh the benefits your children enjoy right now as a result of a consistent, ongoing, in-person relationship with their father. It is impossible to reduce that relationship to increased phone calls and longer summertime visits without consequences, which are sure to appear in your children’s behavior and attitudes over time. Therefore, it is important to talk openly with your children, and with your ex, about any decision to move out of state, to make sure that no part of the move is executed in haste.

      Lastly, speak with an attorney on your rights, if you have full legal and physical custody of your child/ren and your divorce mentions nothing, There really wont be an issue. However ‘SPEAK TO AN ATTORNEY” before you make the move.

      • Cari

        ATTORNIES ARE OVER RATED! Get your butt down to your family court and explain your situation to the petitions clerk and they will be more than happy to give you the correct form to fill out, you file it (5 copies) and wait for a court date. Hopefully, you’ll reach an agreement outside of a hearing. It is always a compromise. If it can’t be reached, you will have a hearing, just present your case to the judge. You do not need an attorney…all they do is the same thing. File the paperwork, try to reach an agreement, and then present your side of it to a judge. Pay them for what? I’ve done all my own work after the first three times I had a lawyer it’s a waste of money unless you’re fighting for custody. So you want to move. Do it yourself and save the $5,000 for the moving company. If you want a lawyer’s opinion, ask to have a lawyer assigned to the children/child (law gaurdian) that’s the only lawyer the judge will listen to anyways. Don’t be scared…..the judge will help you along a bit if you’re lawyerless.

      • KNeider

        What if there is no divorce decree? We were never a married. There is no custody paperwork filed with the courts. I do have an agreement we had notarized the day my ex was leaving Pennsylvania for Louisiana that states I have full legal and physical custody and all decisions regarding the children are mine, including that he must get permission from me to visit the children. He has not had any visitation with the children in two years and no contact with them in well over a year and a half. My husband and I are moving to Arizona so I can get a better job. I have to since my ex has no desire to pay child support, and is only doing so right now because the judges in Louisiana threatened to throw him in jail after not paying for a year and a half. Do I still have to file with the court since there never was an order, and there is no visitation to disrupt? Will the child support transfer to Arizona, or will I have to start the nightmare all over again?

    • terrie

      hey for question on visitation if the custodial parent moves with the minor child. okay so i was divorced in missisippi but live in massachusetts. basically when we first were divorced i lived in missisippi. you have to just go back to court to modify the papers you have to work out a schedule when the child will visit, who is in charge of travel expenses . my daughter usually flies delta and we pay for the unaccompnied minor fee 100 bucks each way. its not rocket science and to be honest with you divorce papers are not set in stone. it is impossible to know where your life will be say 10 years from when the papers were first created. you have to work together to figure out (the ex) how you will take of things. my ex has not really followed thru with the visitation orders so divorce papers is sorta out of the window well good luck and stick to your guns. cause if you follow the papers like a fine tooth comb you will be in court all the time blaming the ex on how he does not follow thru

      • Frustrated

        I have a friend going thru a divorce in the state of Florida – the friend is being asked to negotiate the amount of Child Support that will be acceptable to receive – is there not a standard set by a formula that the judge assigns? Child Support amount should not be negotiable correct?

        The friend is also without transportation with several children – should the significant other not have to provide the custodial parent with financial assistance in getting reliable transportation? The custodial parent with the several children also has not worked while in the marriage.

        The non-custodial parent is also only paying child support currently – should the non-custodial parent not be assisting in maintaining a household i.e. rent, electric, water, trash, etc. while the terms of the divorce/custody are being determined?

        Something seems very wrong with this picture.

    • Les

      Hi, Im currently involved in court and have been for over a year now. My son is 2 yrs old and my fiance is deployed to afghanistan. upon his return we plan on getting married and he will be PCS to another location. My sons father has been in and out of his life and only really seen him a hand full of times. i of corse want to move with him, but my ex doesnt want me to go. I was just curious in your case how everything worked out for you? and with my child being so young, what would visitation look like? ? If you have any answers It would help me out alot. thank you.

  • C Greaves

    I am in the US Air Force. I was divorced in Florida. I have a son who is 9. I had joint custody in Florida. I had my son after school Thursday and full days Friday-Sunday. I got orders to New Mexico. I had to give up my rights. It has been ten months and now I am eligible to retire and move back to Florida. My ex has since moved to Pennsylvaina. So I can’t get my joint rights back. Can I file for my son’s right to choose where he will live. What do I need to do for paperwork? Do I need a lawyer? Do I have to be in the same state? Can I file in Florida where all this took place? Most inportant question. What are my chances of making this happen?

    • traci henkels

      I live in pa, the laws here are great, they want to have the child in a stable home, since he lives here in pa then he would have had to have the order transfered.; if he didnt and its still in fl file there, did he notify you and since your in the military, you have more rights under the sailors and solders act. he cannot take him from you

    • http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/755594 Traci Henkels

      C Greaves: I’m not so sure that you are correct for the Pa laws, I live here as well and the laws are pretty general here in Pa. The court system wants both parents to be apart of the child’s life to provide stability. Hire an attorney in Pa and get visitation and fight for your rights.

  • T henk

    I have a question, I am recently remarried and my husband and I are are going to be retiring soon, we have started the process of moving and my ex stated that he doesnt approve of our new residence because it is 30 more miles away but I have offered to meet hin half way and to give him 2 more weeks in the summer and his visitation would not change or be effected. he refuses and has threatened court, this move would provide us with a bigger house and the kids each a bedrm of there own, , we would make more money and the children would be able to do more things but he wont here is he lives 52 miles away and moved without consulting me but wants my husband and I to consult him on everything. Can he do this?

    • Tawny

      Have him take you to court. There are a number of reasons you just listed that will give you the answer you need. Several reasons why that loser can’t stop you. He’s just scared, and the pressure is on. If you have an attorney, speak with them about this. There is no reason at all why it should not be granted.

    • jvrdandme

      i am in the same situation. i moved to nebraska in 2008 from kansas. about a year and half ago my ex moved to nebraska. he demanded more time with the boys without discussing. 2 days after he moved to the state he got an attorney and fought me for a year, just to get more time with the boys. i asked for mediation to work things out. he wanted court only. he demands were insane. i have been in a relationship with a man since 3 months after i moved here, we are getting married and having a baby. our business has moved him to another part of the state. i discussed things with my attorney and he says moving 41/2 hours away from here is unreasonable and my ex has the right to take me back to court for custody if i move in state. i am the custodial parent with joint legal custody. i have sat and tried to talk to my ex husband and have never mentioned nor made any issues of the drama he has caused the boys, because i do things for the boys. the only thing on our visitation that this will change is an evening during the week. i am at a loss because it seems that mothers are punished for getting a divorce, and after 6 years of divorce want to move on with their lives. this has put a cramp in my life if he doesnt want to compromise.
      i have also heard within the last year that some custodial parents have lost custody for wanting to move to another town because the non custodial parent has file for custody. the laws to me are sooo far from reality anymore that it isnt about the kids anymore. i agree there are dads that are good dads and vise versa, but when there is no “valid” cause for taking custody only for spite reasons, and because it is there way or no way – doesnt seem right. seems like moms have no rights anymore or the “good” parent – not to piss anyone off.
      any advise or suggestions would be great.

      • GeminiNYC

        I must agree very sad…Keep the faith it will work out for the best because the one thing that people forget is that children get older LOL and when they do and start telling the other person how they feel without any influences from the custodian parent. They make decisions that the courts children lawyer have to listen too.

        • Tonya

          Im in MO and my daughter is 11,her father and I were never married we were togeather for 4 years.he has been with a women who hates me and does not really have anything to do with our daughter,im not even allowed to go to his house.Im wanting to move to cali and agreed she could stay with him and we went to see my lawyer to get everything started.we agreed I would pay child support.Now he is being really mean and says he wants more because he has to pay 8 a day for childcare,im already giving him more then what the form 14 would say..Now im kinda scared to leave my dasughter with him but my husband lost his job so we have to kmove with his family so he can get a better one.My ? is she is 11 will they let her deside in a year?and btw he does not come get her all the time nor is he involved with school..

  • Erin

    what happens when the custodial parent moves out of state? there was no court order for who was the custodial parent. we were never married and i am the mother. what are my rights and what can i do about it? the father also refuses to let me see or speak to our daughter since he has been with his current wife.

    • shane kraklow

      iam in the same boat iam a male what have u found out about what going on with your problem?

      • Erin

        I have not found anything out really. I keep getting different stories. I have had a lawyer tell me that since we were never married and do not have something in our court order saying that we can not leave the state, that we need to only provide a letter stating when and where. Have you found anything out?

        • Lisa

          Were I am from which is montgomery county Pa are court has rules which when you go for the custody and visitation you are given these rules. You can not move without the court saying so. But it takes time you have to go up to the court house and ask for a hearing. You must be able to tell them were the other parent is so the court papers get there.

          It takes about 4 to 6 weeks for the hearing. So that is another 4 to 6 weeks not seeing your kids. One thing if you do move without the court and parent saying its OK you can be charged with kidnapping.

        • Erin

          Yeah, I am from Ct, and we have those same rules when the case is still open, but ours was closed. Also, they did ask us if we wanted to have moving restrictions when we made the agreement, and we both said no. I have talked to a few lawyers, and they stated that since there is nothing in the court order we are able to move.

  • James E.

    what can i do when the custodial parent intentionally denies visitation by constantly moving from city to city and state to state violating court order for thirteen years and now she wants back child support. i have custody for last two years he is seventeen now. she took away something from me that no dollar amount could ever replace. and i owe her?

    • Sadie

      Do you have her phone #? Cause if you do you should talk to ur kid. see what he/she would like. and if he/she would like time with you, then take ur ex to court. say that it’s not the childs best interests to not have some time with you, keep fighting for time with ur kid.

  • Kim

    We have a visitation schedual,at time of this all parties lived in same county,so we agreed the mother would pick children up to go to her place, we would pick them up to bring home,we have custody.Now the mother has moved an hour away,she has been transporting,but she is now mad at us so she is refusing to bring the girls home tommarrow.Because she moved is it her responsability to bring them home?

  • Joe

    I had children with a person from Mexico, she has no documents and recently moved back to Mexico taking my two children with her. She is not able to return to the United States, What can I do in regards to this? I am still required to pay child support? how do International Child Support work cost of living and all that…..

  • Jen

    My ex and I have joint legal and physical custosy, but my address is the address for purposes of determining which school our children attend. I would like to relocate from a suburb of Kansas City closer to Kansas City where both my ex and I work. I would have to enroll the children in a private school and am willing to incur this cost soley by myself. Can I do this as long as our visitation schedule will not change? My ex would still get the boys every other week. He can pick them up on his way home.

  • Mazzy

    My Partner and his ex do not talk!
    She cancelled supervised visits and makes us jump thought hoops.
    She got engaged which we are not fussed about but she obviously never told us, and we foudn out yesterday that she had moved house from my partners mother (good old facebook) yet no one knows her current address and we live in Vancouver BC, do we have some sort of case as we are constantly denied access and she never answers calls or texts and now we dont know where she lives?

    Can we go to court with this?

    • Sadie

      I wouldn’t want 2. Not unless ur absessed w/ wat shes doin. Just keep on going w/ ur normal lives. It’s her consequenses.

  • Nicole

    I have applied for relocation with my minor child out of state and had my hearing in June. I have not heard from the decision yet and the company who made the job offer will not wait for my answer any longer. What would happen if I moved prior to the judgement?

    • yasmine

      If you leave before the hearing you will make the judge VERY upset and there is a strong possibility that the judge will grant temp custody with the noncustodial parent instead.The judge may even go as far to place a temporary restraining order against you if he/she feels that you will leave again without permission. Moreover, if you piss the judge off there is a good chance that the judgement will NOT go in your favor. Please just wait until the judgement, especially if you have a good chance at winning.

    • nick

      My daughter’s mother did this, and reasons were more of a boyfriend relocation, rather than a job. She left prior to our hearing to start a new job (that was to be the dream job, no more pay). I was awarded temporary custody until the hearing. She did not have enough reason to back up the move, and leaving your child behind was real bad in the judges eyes, even if ordered. I was awarded custody (NY) and her mother never returned. She has visitation during certain school times (vacations) of the year. But since her move, she has moved 4 times in 4 years, and changed jobs 3 times, so backs up the boyfriend reasoning. Anyways, not saying that is your situation, but be careful about leaving before said court dates unless your job improvement is REALLY good (like twice your pay or something). Even then, may not be enough (child first).

  • Scorpio

    I’m not legally divorced or separated from my spouse, there is no paper work etc on file. My spouse put myself a d our 2 children out of the house over a year ago. My eldest noe is 18 and went back to his father’s home. I do have my 11 yr old in my custody. Remind you I have recieved $500 out of the yr from him. Well my concern is that I’ve put in for a jod transfer to another state, becuase I will be able to make itt there . What could happen if I just leave out of state to move?

  • Cassie

    My daughter is in a mentally abusive relationship. She is considering divorce, but still wavers daily. Her husband wants to move the family to Michigan. What happens if they live there, then my duaghter decides to leave him. Will she be able to legally move back home to Alabama. What type of custody issues would this cause for her?

    • crystal

      well i am from michigan and right now i am trying to move out of state with my daughter but i cannot untill he gives me permission or the courts, but her situation is different as long aas she has not lived here for six months or longer she can go anywhere and technically that state ur in now is the childrens legal home ground so yes she can without his permission just make sure she is not in michigan for six months or more cause if she is she may be screwed unless she can prove he is a danger to her and her children…..i am not a lawyer but i have researched all possibilitis to move out of this state with my children and I go to find out october 8th if i can…good luck and god bless her please help her get away from him and the child to..

      • Kelly

        Crystal, how did it go? im in this situation right now !! uggg…

        My ex has not visited with our child for almost a year now. he refuses to talk to me via phone and would rather text. I told him about our out of state move. He gave me some grief but when i offered joint cust , he gets all summer with her, and a child support abatement for the time he has her, he agreed. My child called him and he gave her his blessing.

        We are two weeks from our move. We have prepaid almost 5 months worth of living expenses in the new state and the home we live in now will be rented out to another family just days after we move. He is now texting me about money. He is asking me to “prepay” him for the time he will have our daughter by placing money in his bank account, or to lower his support by 80 percent !!!!!! he says he will not sign the new order that our caseworker drew up until i comply. I had to retain a lawyer yesterday.

        Our reasons for moving…i have two other daughters in the new state and a grandson we want to be near too, its a warmer climate which would improve what i face with my s.a.d. and my arthritis, and being a full time photographer, who struggles during the winter months here in michigan, i have year round income opportunities in a warmer state.

      • Sadie

        I’m from michigan to. My parents (my mom and step dad) tried to move to Alaska. But the court, my dad, and his attourny said no. now i’m in a mentally abusive relationship because of it. michigan sucks.

        • Danny

          What was the reason why the courts would not let your mom and stepdad move?

  • Cassie

    How can I make my daughter see things will never change with her abuzive husband. He knows exactly how to get to her. He will be a jerk for 6 months then a saint for 2 weeks and she thinks things are better. I think she needs a counselor to help her see things more clearly. I worry for her safety and her baby (7 months). He is also verablly abusive to the child as well. Taunts him when he cries and calls him a crybaby and a sissy girl. This is a 7 month old child. I hate to think what things he will say to him as he matures, or what physical things he may do to him.
    Sad Grandmother and Mom

    • crystal

      I know this may sound bad and I know its your daughter but if that man is really that abusive to her and esspecially the child then maybe you should contact cps and have that child removed into your custody, sometimes that wakes up the mothers who are bull headed and indenial, all though it is hard to get abused woman to understand and see the evil that their husband or boyfriend endure them esspecially when they have a child together, i was in a relationship and had two kids and he was mentally and physically abusive to me, it took me 5 years to get it through my head that that was not normal and that my children needed a more positive and safer home, and now i know better but it did take me so long to see that, but you best do something soon before something you cannot bring back happens to both the child and her….good luck and god bless

      • Sadie

        I’m totally w/ you on that one. She’s not even being a mom to the baby. She’s just useing him as a way to deal with her own issues that a baby shouldn’t be worrying about.

        • Jim Jones

          Yep, absolutely

  • shelby

    I have been divorced for 8 years and reside in California. My ex-husband and I have a court order for custody. He has our two children on a Friday night through Saturday afternoon. He however moves from place to place on a continuing basis. He has moved from drug and alchohol recovery houses to working on peoples homes and taking up shelter at those homes. He however refuses to provide an address where he is residing or where he will be taking our children from the evening. DOES HE HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO PROVIDE AN ADDRESS WHERE HE IS TAKING THE CHILDREN? The court order does not address this except for when he takes them out of town. Is there a specific Calfornia code that states he must provide me with an address where he is taking the children?
    thanks

    • Eddie

      All issues regarding this are pretty clear. It is on the custodial parent to ensure the safety of the children. This means that the noncustodial parent be able to provide them with safe home and safe enviroment to be in. This can include how he treats them, what activities he engages in and who he brings the children around. You as the custodial parent have every legal right to stop visitation if you feel your children are being brought into a dangerous situation. The fact that you doot know where your ex is bringing the children and that he won’t even provide a valid address where he lives gives you legal grounds enough to keep the kids from him until you not only have an address but have seen it to ensure that it is suitable for your children. I would give him an ultimatum that he either gives you an address and lets you check it out or you will stop him from seeing the kids. As always it is wise to consult a lawyer and even better, if you do decide to stop him from taking the kids file for a modification of visitation and inform the judge of all you have told us. i hope this helps you and good luck

  • ashley

    my ex husband, who i have a child with, is the custodial parent, is remarried and he decided to leave his wife and also left our child with her. he left her with no money or anything and they have a child together too. i’m concerned that my daughter is not being cared for and because he just up and left i feel she would be better off with me. i have not been around to see her for a while because he kept her from me so it makes the situation more complicated. what should i do to try and gain cutody to ensure my child’s well being

  • JANIE

    I recently got remarried to a very nice man who is a firechief The only problem is he lives 52 miles from where I live. I have asked my exhusband and he was ok with this move. My exhusband now says he will take me back to court and win custody of our 13 year old daughter becuase I moved. I have rented my home to him so that my daughter did not have to leave her friends when she is in town with him which leaves me paying an $800 difference because he cannot afford it. I also am driving my daaughter back and forth to school so she doesnt have to leave her school. I am bending over backwards financially and physically to keep her life as calm as caan be. When we got divorced the judge ordered me primary residence and him to have our daauhter only every other Thurs- Sun night…. I have allowed him to have her every other week and rotate with me and we split all costs for school. But because I am remarried now he is angry and wants to take my daughter….. can he do this?

    • Eddie

      No he can’t. You are only moving a short distance away and if you are the custodial parent of course the kids can go with you. It’s not like you are moving 300 miles away or to another state. And if you continue to allow him the visitation that is court ordered he will have no legal ground to stand on. I mean he can fight you in court and argue th case but moving to be with someone new who you are marrying and if it will not do harm to the child you will win easily. You just might have to modify visitation and might have to help with the increased costs of increased travel time of your ex so he can get the kids. But for 50 miles, visitation will probably stay the same and there will be no costs as long as you meet him at least half way. And to further protect yourself plus show that you are showing your exhusband consideration by providing ampl notice of your intent to move request a court hearing for relocation to show the judge your reasons for the move

  • richard

    ok i am behind on child support about 6,000 since i,ve been out of work for a period of time. i started workin again three months ago and now paying reg child support and back pay and my ex is still denying me visitation rights, even though its court ordered, not to metion she moved 2 hundread miles away with out notifying me. wut will happen if we go to court can i get in trouble, or will they enforce my rights

    • crystal

      hell dude you have it made now, first off you have a court order parenting plan and she is refusing, you can get her for that in court you need to go file a complaint and also for the move, shes going to be in the trouble not you, in fact that could give you grounds for custody or her having to move back closer to where she moved from, but you better do it now before its to late

  • Megan

    So my friend has a little girl who lives in the same town as him now. He was never married to her mother, but they’ve shared her for the past 8 years, if you want to call her disappearing and leaving the baby with him for weeks on end for much of the past 5 years they’ve been separated “sharing”. Now he’s found a new girlfriend and the mother doesn’t like it. She’s tried extreme measures to get him back in the past few weeks, including threats to move the child, threats to commit suicide and actually attempting suicide. Now she is speaking to an attorney to get full legal custody of the child and move her from South Dakota to New York with her. He doesn’t want to go through a custody battle but won’t sign her over to the mother either. What are his rights in keeping the child in state?

  • mel

    i have a two year old son by a drunk that not the killing part we have been battling in th e state of nebraska for two year he have some rights but to make a long story short his mother is the sole operson in charge of my son all the time he supposeably have him my son has came back dirty hungry and evev brused after visit from the non cusodial parent house his mother is the real person that is taking to court i have told her she cant be a part of my child life for a lot of reason i fear she is hurting my son because she cant get @ me

  • Grace

    Everything seems to be about when the custodial parent moves away. What about when the noncustodial parent moves away? The non-custodial then assumes the custodial parent should pay for the additional visitiation expenses. And then assumes that because they are missing all the time they got (weekends, evenings, school events) they can make it all up during summer or school breaks? Because the non-cusodial parent choose to move away why do the children not get to see their custodial parent on a regular basis anymore? How is that in the best interest of the child?

    • kels1982

      My ex and I have been separated for 4 yrs now and he moved to florida 1 year ago. I’m in process of getting a divorce and he is refusing to sign the papers cus I want sole custody. In the 4 yrs we haven’t been together he hasn’t once been to a doctor appt or either of my kids school. On top of he’s with somebody else and has another child and we aren’t divorced. What steps do I take to get sole custody? Is it legal for him to move out of state with no notice to me the kids or the courts? There is answer for the custodial parent but what about the noncustodial parent? I gave been researching this for along time now and haven’t found any answer. Oh and cud he get my kids from (va) where we live take them to florida for visits and file for custody? We have a court agreement in place. Please help

  • Londa

    I have never been married to the father of my two boys. I recently broke up with him due to emotional and verbal abuse for the past few years. I am considering moving out of state to be with my family but I am not sure if this would be a problem or how I would go about it. There is a law in Wisconsin that states that DIVORCED parents cannot be more than 150 miles apart. I am not clear on what the law is in the case of never-married parents though I have been told I can move out of state with my children as I see fit (I was told this by police officers). My boys’ father has not done anything to support them for a very long time, has refused to care for them at times, has left them unsupervise at home (they are 3 years old and 8 months old), and has left them in dirty diapers many times because he didn’t want to change them. Can anyone give me any information about this?

  • Autumn

    I was never married to my son’s father. he has been in and out of my 4 year old’s life since he was a baby. He has not seen him in 7 months, nor does he call and see how he is doing ever. We live in North Dakota, we have never gone to court for custody (in the process now) but my son has lived with me since birth. My lawyer just informed me that legally he’s supposed to tell me his address which he refuses to do.

  • princess

    i was never married to my ex he has been very abusive he has a drug and alcohol problem and i am scared for the safety of my children and i am moving me and my girls out of the state of michigan i called the courts and they said that if it states that i have to do a change in domicille then i cant move but it does not say that all it says is to let them know that i am leaving but the father says i will go to prison for parental kidnapping is that true also there are records on file of the abuse on me and my girls

  • Nikki

    I have a question,
    I am the custodial parent who wants to move out of state to finally finish school and better myself for myself and my son. There is a visitation order in effect that the non-custodial parent has not exercised in three years. Now that I am trying to move’ he is trying to prevent it saying that he NOW wants to be a part of his life and I know he is only doing this out of spite because i wont lower the child support. What is the likelihood that he can stop my move?

  • Robert

    I’m in the military and my ex wife is in the military and she has sole perantal custody of my 6 year old son. She remarried and have a 6 month little girl. She want me to give up my right to be my son father because she thinks her husband is a better father… Ok we are station in different states, I’m in DC, and she is station in New Mexico now. I do pay my child support, I try to see him on his school breaks to take him to visit my family, I’m doing the best I can since I’m not there with him… I just want to know if she gets station overseas can i freeze his passport or something? and next I’m getting out the military soon and she is staying in the military and she will have to deploy and everything. All I want is joint custody or have the courts take his passport so when I get out I can moved near the area that they are in and I can be there for my son

  • Dave

    I was never married to my ex and we have a daughter together. We live in FL, I pay child support and I see her every other weekend because that’s when its convenient for my ex. Well she just married a guy in the Military and she wants to move all the way to Washington with my daughter. I sent her a letter that stated I don’t think its in my daughters best interest to leave and not know her father growing up cause financially I cant afford to visit. I know there is a FL statue 61.13001 stating she cant leave but what can I do if she does? She already threatened she would leave…

  • angela

    The mother of my grandchild married and moved to another state. My grandchild did not want to move, she wanted to stay with me and my husband. The mother agreed to leave her with us so she has been with us for seven months. We have provided everything for this child and the mother has not offered any financial support. She visits the child for a couple of days every month. The father, who is my son, I’m sorry to say, is not in the child’s life. What legal right does the mother have to ever come and take the child back from us if she ever decided to?

    • Kay

      Do you have a power of attorney for the child for medical? Have you asked for financial support? If you have had the child for over 6 months, check your state laws and see about that. She does visit, so its not child abandonment. As of right now, she can take the child no questions asked. As grandparents you have a much more difficult situation to face. Sorry.

  • concerned

    In our case the custodial parent (still in a bitter state) decided to plan her move, make all the arrangements then give the children’s father a 2wks notice of their move to a different state. Of course during this time she refused to allow him adequate contact with his children, giving him only a few hours the day before the move to have dinner w/them. Now that they are in a different state obviously visitation has been disrupted. Whenever the father tries to make plans to go there the mother has excuses as to why he can’t visit. The holidays were especially frustrating as the children were here in our state during their Christmas break. This time the mother decided to give details of their visit only hours before their arrival & proceeded to tell the father he had to fit his time in around her family, friends & the grown children of her new boyfriend. Again he received a few hours here & there that he had to work around his work schedule. It’s so unfair to watch. Problem now is the mother has gotten wind that the father is moving forward in life so we are at the point where we get late night texts threatening to seek more $$ in CS. We are barely getting by as it is since after their divorce the father had to look for work after being a stay at home Dad for 13yrs. I guess my question is what do we do? How do we work out visitation (without the added before each visit) & what can be done when the Mom who took a lower paying job in another state just to be away from the Dad starts demanding more money? Can travel expenses be deducted? As it stands now we are making the 6hr drive monthly & ending up so tired that we have to stay in a hotel as well.

    • Traci

      OK FIRST, DAD HAS RIGHTS… mom cannot move out of state if there is a JC in place, and mom would have needed to apply for relocation. If she didnt you seek the courts intervention to get her back to where you are and file for custody. A judge is not going to be to happy with mom for just leaving without the courts permission. Get a Lawyer and see what can be done. Mom cannot interfere with visitation.

      • Momofour

        In my situation, the mother left and moved four hours away and never told the father. The child is still in the home state, however, the maternal grandmother has been here since July taking care of the child during the mother’s visitation. The mother told the child not to say anything.

        Mother’s attorney contacted the father’s attorney to work out custody. The father accepted and never heard anything. That was back in october and months later and two mediations they are preparing to go to trial. Sad sad situation all the way around.

  • Maria

    I have a friend who dated a girl and obviously had kids with her. She’s trying to manipulate him into getting back together with her or she’s going to marry someone and move and take the kids. What can he do to prevent that from happening?

  • julie

    Ok 3 kids not divorced or legally separated but dad was awarded full sole custody, mom was charged with child endangerment and after not showing up to court sole custody was awarded to dad. Custody papers say she can see children only under cps supervision which she would have to pay for and has never happened.. mom calls dad drunk constantly so dad keeps her belligerent calls from children obviously but has from time to time met her in public for short but needed contact, she always expects more and ruins it by calling drunk time and time again in the past 2 years she has had little to no contact and getting support withheld from her paychecks which dad still never receives but doesn’t worry too much on that since he had no problem supporting his 3 children… problem*? Washington marriage not actively seeking divorce just avoiding hassles with mom. And dad made a big decision to move to Oregon for a better job not even thinking of weather or not he was “allowed” he Moved his family without consulting mom or court authorities.. its just come to dads attention he may be breaking the law. And its way too late to do anything about it what are his options??

    • Traci

      If dad has sole physical and legal custody, there should not be an issue except that he needs to notify the court and request a change in venue to the county he resides in. He will need to produce evident of moms no compliance of the court order, ie records of no contact or phone contact, he will also need to provide his prior salary and current salary showing that this move was in the best interest for the children. Talk to a lawyer in the town that your in and see if they can’t file for you. Good luck.

  • Potatocob

    Left my ex-husband almost 6yrs ago, been divorced for 5yrs. We’ve got joint custody, w the children’s primary residence being his address, even though they do actually live w me because he changed jobs & cant keep them because of his hrs. They spend the night w him twice a week, & they do love him. Problem is, he hasn’t quit stalking me, harassing me, threatening me, etc.. since the day I left him. He hasnt always had their primary residence, only about a year maybe a litte more…he just wanted a chance to be fulltime father at the time, but hes blown it in many ways. Keeps them out late @ night, always staying sick, moving towns then back again, so kids have to switch schools..not huge issues, but my kids dont like it nor do I. Even bigger, he has concealed weapons license, has shown up to my house w assault rifle before(I have it on report) , & he constantly spies on me from up the road w binoculars, drives by at random at any hour…he abuses prescription medication (i know this because he’s even told me he has to buy it since hes a truckdriver & the D.O.T. doesnt allow controlled/narc meds. He even comes into restaurants if he sees my vehicle parked outside, & puts his face down in my face just to show me that hes there, too. I rrequested a Civil Protection Order 2 days ago but the judge denied me, stating that watching me through binoculars doesn’t qualify me for protection. What about all the rest of his threats/stalking??!!! I can’t take it anymore, how can I change the joint custody & do I have any chance of being able to move out of state & take my children w me? I live in Idaho…thinking about Texas, where my sister lives.

  • Shell

    I have a situation with my daughter. Her and baby’s father were never married. As a matter of fact when he found out she was pregnant he broke up with her telling her he wanted to concentrate on school and basketball. When the baby was born the parents were 17 (father) 19 (mother) this was in California. We wanted to move back to Ohio as that’s where we were from having only lived in California for 4 years. We called Legal Aid in California and asked if we were allowed to move out of state and they said as long as there was no court order saying we couldn’t that we were in our rights to do so so we did. Little did we know and Legal Aid didn’t tell us that we had to file papers for relocation first and we hadn’t done that. The baby was 2 and 1/2 months old when we moved and up until that time the father wasn’t a real presence in the baby’s life as he was still young and didn’t see the importance of it. When we didn’t come back after a month he filded papers for an ex-parte hearing and after months of court and my daughter and baby having to go back to California for the final hearing the final court order was Joint physical and Joint Legal custody. However during the times with the court evaluater the father did not tell the evaluater the truth. He said he only used marajuana occasionally and did not drink alchohol while all the time my daughter was remanded to tyhe state of California from June 4, 2010-July 29, 2010 the child’s father was smoking marajuana on a daily basis. My daughter NEVER received a copy of the evaluater’s report before going to court but the father had and if my daughter would have seen the actual report she would have NEVER agreed to the evaluater’s stipulation. We just came across a copy of this repoer 2 weeks ago and the court date was over 6 months ago. Along with the Joint Legal and Physical custody the court order stated that father shall move to Ohio to reside with child and child’s mother for a period of 5 months and after that the child and child’s mother shall move back to California to reside as a family with the child’s father. My daughter is getting married in a few weeks to someone who has been in her life off and on since late 2005 and they have been together steadily now for over 9 months. He is gainfully employed, has his own residence and has a strong bond with my daughter’s baby who is now 16 months old. So I guess what I’m asking is, what are our optitions here? Can the custody be modified since she is getting married? Can the state of California make her move back there with their child? The child’s father is only employed through a commission based job which has only brought in less than %200.00 in 2 months. He puts the baby in dangerous situations sometimes like putting her to bed with crib rail down, letting her walk around in her bedroom in the morning while he is laying there in bed under his blankets and things like that. Although these things don’t happen all the time they have happened enough times. My daughter wants to make an arragement with him for visitation during the summer and alternating major holidays since there will be so much distance and we are willing to incur the travel expenses for those visits. Can anyone offer any help or suggestions?
    Thanks and God bless you.

  • concerned mom and st

    i am married. have been for 2 yrs. first i am the custodian of all 3 of my children. my oldest 2, their father left state over 3 weeks ago due to running from cs enforcement. he has not provided an address or tried contacting the children. it has broke my childrens heart. they r only 7 and 6. it has depressed them terribly. my 6 yr old has enough medical problems to last someone a lifetime. i informed him before he left i wanted to move to arizona from tn. he said he didnt care and havent heard anything since. now my 4 yr old his father has sety visitations also but at first was willing to let my family and i move. what do i do? now my step daughter is 5 and her mom moves wherever and whenever she wants. we get her more than what the visitation papers say and have done everything to try and gain custody because she never has her. when we dont have her my sister in law does. she gets food stamps and cs and were the ones taking care of her. what do we do? can anyone help?

  • trina

    my question is this my ex who has joint custody with his home being the primary residence is moving to new york and leaving our son with me here in texas we are trying to figure out how to return the joint custody with primary residence back to me he has only had it for 3 years he does not have time to wait for court with it being a emergency situation that he has to move to new york and neither one of us has the money for a lawyer what kind of papers can we sign and have notarized that way custody comes back to me and i can get him in school and on my insurance plan please help thanks

    • Sukie

      Did you ever find a way to modify agreement without courts?..can it be done by notory?
      I live in utah..we have jc and joint legal..i just want to change date for our son to return to me 2 weeks early from summer break…also primary residance is with whom he rerides with at that time..we agree on everything so far medical and schoolastic and religously…sons dad found work in texas..right now we both live in utah

      • Momofour

        It seems as if your situation is civil. This is not. We have tried to modify the order 2 weeks ago. We have not received a response from her attorney. She has denied that she has been gone. I don’t get it. When will people understand that it is what is in the best interest of the child.

  • Dino

    Currently my x wife and I have joint custody of our daugther. She has just remarried and would like to take our the daughter. Her new husband lives 4 hours away. I just made the offer to her for joint custody and would allow her great visitation, but me being the Primary care giver. She has agreed but she only wants to make it temporary for 5 months and she is asking me to pay for 50% of the travel expenses when she is moving away

    She has already said she does and will not pay me support. She has always worked all her life and has a good education. She just quit her job last week and her new husband does not want her to work now. He is a bit older and has money. I really do not care if I get support I just honestly think my house grandparents , location, friends and locations makes the best sense for our daughter

    Her new husband who my daughter has never ever met, has 3 DV charges with in the last 12 months and 1 felony from a while ago. I have a perfectly clean record.

    I strongerly believe I have been the car give over the past 5 years for my daughter.

    Do you have any suggestion or comments to help????

  • Shawn

    I have primery custody of my daughter and i had moved from pennsylvania to arizona 13 months ago with conscent by the mother due to my daughter’s medical issues to move form pennsylvania to arizona. So now if the mother want’s to change the custody papers and fight for primery custody and she lives in pennsylvania and the custody papers i have are under pennsylvania would she have to file under the state of arizona to change the custody since my daughter lived here in arizona for 13 months now or would she have to file under pennsylvania since the custody papers are under pennsylvania

  • jun

    never married lived with my sons mother a few years she got involved in another relationship and picked up and moved to another state with my son. Im paying child support court ordered. what should I do to get visitations she wont let me see nor speak with him only at her terms.
    Some advice please Thanks,

  • maria

    i have been divorced to my husband about 3 years have 2 children wiv global delay the eldest adhd on medication.want to move 2hrs away with my children for a fresh start in the nxt couple of months but the ex is n can b extremley difficult n abusive at times so want to kno legally where i stand>we have no residency order in place as i dont think he would agree or sign the relevant paperwork.he has the children overnight 3 times a week where do i stand with this n am i well within my rights to move even tho we have no residency order pls get bak 2 me asap

  • renee

    My husbands ex wife will be getting relocatewith the military they share joint responsibilitys for their two kids. They just amended the visition schedule this week. The next day she found out she’s relocating. She’ll be moving to a suburb in NY. We all currently live in NM. The kids will go with her.my husband is not a weekend dad. We currently have the kids 6days out of a two week period and she has them eight. My job can relocate me four and a half hours away and will make regular visitations (as they are now impossible ). What would happen with cost of transportation, as in who would be responsible. Its not his choice that she’ll have to move and what about current child support?

  • jill

    Im recently divorced no custody agreement and Im buying a house 25 miles away… currently live in PA new house happens to be in Ohio closer to my new job .. but still only 25 miles away.. is there anything my ex can do? he drives an hour to see his girlfriend.. 35 minutes should be nothing to see his kids and i will share transportation.. can he do anything?

  • IOWA

    I married last month to a man in the military. i have tried to discuss possible visitation with the non-custodial parent since december with little to no responce. i offered him through his wife a generous amount of time with my bringing him and picking him up (because i was informed not to attempt discussion with him any longer) was denied she stated she thought half the time i offered would be enough yet an agreement has never been set between us. i continue to attempt the discussion with little to no responce. we were never married and there is a child support order but no legal visitation order. can he stop me from moving or can i get charged for moving he sees him every other weekend, no longer carried health insurance on him and is not acitve in school things nor doctor visits which is not by my choice.

    • christine

      hello i just read ur comment ,idk how long ago you wrote this post but i was just wondering did the judge ever let u move ?

  • JCandler

    I am the custodial parent of my two 10 yr. old boys. I am newly remarried,my new husband & i would like to move, same state just different county, just to get a new start, & for jobs. My ex was in & out of their lives for a bit but for the past yr.or so since he has been out of jail(domestic violence) without a drivers license,he has been forced to live w/ his parents.
    So the only means of transportation has been his father. His father said that he can not drive him half way to were we want to move witch will be about 60 more miles. Their father is able to get his license now but as long as he has a free ride to everywhere he doesn’t think he needs to. Will he have to come at least half way if he wants to see the boys? Please help!

  • KWichman

    I am a re-married mother of three. My Ex uses his visitation rights when he feels like it. Going months sometimew without even a phone call. My new husband is from WA and has received serveral job offers from there that would be great for our family. It would afford the kids opportunities that they would not have other wise. I brought the subject up with my ex and he freaked out. It is stated in out divorce decree that I would not move out of state with the kids. The only reason it is in there though is because I put it there. He signed his waiver of citation and basically agreed to whatever I decided. What are my options? I hate to have the kids miss out because of something so trivial. I ever offered to let the kids come all of July and August, spring break and either Thanksgiving or Christmas with us paying transportation costs. Help!

  • Chris

    my ex has physical custody, he moved a year ago to a different state without notifying the court. he stopped bringing me the kids a month ago and i have yet to see them. Will the court still hear my case and force him to bring my kids

    • Step-Mommy

      Your ex can be charged with custodial kidnapping. He is supposed to inform the courts that he wants to move, and they will either approve it or disapprove it. If you are not able to see your children on the normal visitation times, they will also change the visitations so that you may see your children over the summer and their holiday weeks. You should definitely go to court.

  • MrsLeggett

    I am the custodial parent of my 9 year old son and I have a visitation order set with his biological dad. Since then, I have married and moved 4 hours away with our son going on 3 years now. He did not seek to have the visitation modified and neither have I but we do not go by what is in the order either. Nonetheless, he still gets every weekend we are in town which is usually at least once a month or every other month. He doesn’t call often and my son only calls him when he wants something which isn’t that often either. My husband is in the Air Force hence the reason we moved away in the first place but now there’s a huge chance we may have to move to another 4 hours away which would be a total of 8 hours away from the non-custodial parent. I’m afraid he’ll take me back to court for sure this time but I want to try to do it without a lawyer. How do I go about modifying for long distance visitation and would possibly be the outcome? Since we’ve moved I have offered the summers to him along with during the year and every other holiday but I’m sure he wouldn’t want to keep him for long periods of time since he’s never taken me up on my offers. Also, if I do go pro se with this should I file in the state it was filed in the beginning or can I change the jurisdiction to the state we live in now?

    • Micki

      Can I ask what the outcome was in your case??? I am about to endure the same thing with the military (my husband is in the Army, and I am divorced with children). In my court papers it says that I can choose the “location of residence without geographic restrictions.” Thanks!

  • honeybee

    i moved out of california after beind given full custody, i had not heard from my ex for over a year he is now seeking joint custody but was given visittion our mediator refused to listen to me i have restraining orders. he was mentally and physically abusive to me and my daughters and i am afraid to let him see my babies i was made to feel like a liar and the abuse towards me or my children didnt matter i dont know what to do she told me i had to find a place for him to be while here how can i protect my children when the courts are telling me to do something i know is unsafe but i dont want to go to jail for violating a court order either PLEASE HELP!

    • mary

      What happened? Were you ever able to get any help? I am in the same situation. I have an OP against my ex broke it off before I had my baby, over 5 years ago (never married) All of a sudden 5 years later he tries to contact me, finds out I am married and had another child gets angry and wants visitation. I have moved on and remarried. and the courts want to just give him visitation even with his behavior.He makes threats that I cannot prove and now is pretending to be the poor dad. There are very good fathers out there and mothers. This father is not and very unstable. Were you able to figure something out?

  • Kevin

    I have a question if my fiance lives in one county wich is 38 miles away and wants to move in with me but the father of the child is puting up a fight which the kid is in school would the courts let the move happen

  • Deborah Monger

    My divorce decree states that have to remain with in 500 mile of Galveston Texas. My current husbands job is requiring us to relocate 997 mile. DO I HAVE TO STAY? We only have 60 days to make this move.

    • Traci

      Speak with an attorney, and file for relocation immediately. If it is best for the child then there should not be an issue but your gonna have to give more time to the NC parent. longer breaks , summer , etc.
      If you have a good relationship with your ex maybe you can get his permission out of court.

  • LasVegasMom

    My ex is the custodial parent and is military – first stationed in Germany, and currently stationed in Texas – he is retiring this month. I heard that the retiring member has to return to his state of residency (here) with the children. Is this true? I want them to return instead of having to only get to see them for the summers.

  • michele kercado

    ok my daughter has a 3 yr old daughter the courts have ordered a everyweekend visit me and my husband are moving to florida leaving her behind with my grandaughter , we r her backbone and have been here for her and my grandaughter sense day 1 ,i have my grandaughter over night 3 times aweek the father sees her everyweek end thats it doesnt call during the week wont give my daughter a phone # to keep in touch when he does have her never comes to pick her up or drop her off. she cries everyweek end doesnt want to go . she wants to move with us so my grandaughter will have the family she has had sense birth. we really dont know what to do . is it her right to move but share exspenses in flying my grandaughter nack and forth for school vactions or a few weeks in the summer please help us time is running short

  • Wade

    My custodial parent has decided that she wants to move away. However, My father and his family are a huge part of my life. And influence me greatly. Plus, there is no reason for my custodial parent to move away. My grades are fantastic and I have been given chances to leave the country and state because of them. In addition, I have great athletic opportunities and I’m the captain of my football team. Plus, I’m of the age where I can give a affidavit of preference. But I still love both of my parents and want to see both of them. But the other trying to take me to another state and bore everything that I’ve come to love away from me. Now I have to testify against my own mother. We someone please tell me and/or whether I will win and I will stay or shed some light on the subject I’ve never cried like this before. I hate to sound despite but will someone please help me.

    • Step-Mommy

      I have an 8 year old step-daughter, who doesn’t want to move with her mother (the custodial parent). She won’t tell her mom because she is afraid of getting in trouble. She said that she wants to live with me, her father and her half-brother (who is only 2). Her mother will never let that happen.
      You on the other hand, have a chance to do what makes you happy.
      Don’t think of it like you are testifying against your mother. You are just keeping things the same but hopefully with a different parent. There are ways to have visitations.
      This could be a great opportunity for you. Why don’t you try and explain to your mother how you really feel about the situation. I hope that this helps you with your situation.

  • grannyK

    My son is in the military in AZ. His wife and baby moved back to GA to live with her parents. He has not signed the divorce papers yet. She recently changed the divorce papers saying that the baby cannot leave GA when it’s time for his visitation. Before the change, their agreement was for baby to stay with him in AZ for the summer and some holidays. What are his rights? Up until now, he had no lawyer but will be getting one now that she changed their custody agreement. Will she have to move back to AZ so baby can be closer to her daddy?

  • jbauman8296

    I am wondering what happens in Missouri if a parent does not choose to exercise their rights at all? My ex wife only saw our son 4 times last year and once so far this year and has NEVER paid a penny of child support or medical bills. It has been almost 6 consecutive months since she has called or came to see him. I am now remarried and have discussed with my current wife the idea of adopting him. She is completely supportive of doing so but have been told we cannot until my ex does not have any rights to him at all.

  • nadine

    so my question would be that my ex husband has sole legal and physical custody of our 8 year old son, he moved to korea and gave me a 2 day notice via email, now i called the courts and they say that since i have visitation rights, even though they are supervised he had to ask my permission, back when he told me he was going to move to korea he said it was temporarily and said he was within his rights,it has been 2 years now and he is not coming back but instead decided to stay away 2 more years, now that i found out he had to get my permission, due to me having visitation rights, does anyone know what my rights are now? especially since he forbids me to see my son, everytime another excuse, i get a phonecall every 2 weeks but aside from christmas and birthday he forbids me to send anything… any helpfull answers would be gladly apreciated, thanks nadine

    • family2010

      nadine : Get an attorney that is your ONLY option if you want to see your son.

      • nadine

        thanks, am working on that one, tried to talk to the ex but he refuses to answer any email, i dont have phone number all i have is a apo address and currently he stopped the phonecalls between me and my son as well,

  • jay

    I have a question.I am a single father with legal and physcal custody.I am moving from montgomery NY to milford pa……with my dauthger.NY line is 10mins from where I am going…….38miles from where I am now to new place……Mother lives 10 mins from me now…it would be a half hour when I move……she drives to pa now for ciggerates…..she telling me I can’t move?And in court order says nothing about moving……….And my daughter wants to move so she don’t have to see her as much…..and she is scared to tell her mom no when its time to go with her…..dauthger only 10….but very smart.Any suggestions?

  • family2010

    I have joint custody of my 12 year old son. My ex-wife and I are not from the US but divorced in the US 10 years ago. My son was also not born here and we came at different times. I had to hire private invest. to help find her, got emergency temp. cust. once because she would not let me see him. She moved out of state w/out permission from courts and has been found in contempt form with holding my visitation. NOW she wants to move out of the country with him and her new husband. They have been together for a couple years but I do not trust that she will let me see him anymore. She doesn’t follow the laws in the states I know what will happen when she leaves. Should it be easy to get custody of him?

  • nadine

    thanks, am working on that one, tried to talk to the ex but he refuses to answer any email, i dont have phone number all i have is a apo address and currently he stopped the phonecalls between me and my son as well, i hate having to be at the mercy of the ex husband to talk to my son or be allowed to send anything aside from christmas or birthday… that is as he states in his emails (the only once in a while contact between me and the ex husband) lucky me, havent found a lawyer that wants to take the case since i am a german citizen living in america, my son is dual german american and the ex husband currently resides in korea with my son and his new wife, and no he is not there with the military…
    alot of ppl make it sound so easy, but in fact for me it has not been for the past 3 years

    • Reality check

      the truth is-no one wants to take your case not because you are a german citizen in America. No one will tell you the truth. Your ex took your child to Korea because HE CAN. There are no laws in the US that protect a parent from parental abduction to foreign countries. By 2020 80,000 children a year will be abducted and never returned due to mixed race growth.You need to contact The Center for Missing and Abducted Children. Even theny will not say what the reality is. You will be told you can petition for the Hague Convention. This is a useless treaty between foreign nations for the return of a child, and the only response the US courts have for an American born parent. Take it from someone who knows.

  • carebear

    My ex husband is in jail for 27 different counts hes a felon and his new girlfriend is also a felon but they have two kids together..I have 2 girls with him 6 and 9 and we have just moved not to a different state…just different county..In the past he has wrote my girls but they just dont want the letters and they dont write back..but of corse i get blamed for that.. My court papers say he get supervised visitation and no over night stays and I have all the say so about both girls..he doesnt pay child support..Me and my new husband take care of everything that has to do with both girls…So my question is Do I have to give him my new address??? When he gets out of jail I will be the supervisor or my brother and we will me at a nutral spot….He knows that we have moved just not the address..someone please help me!!!

  • Optigirl

    I have a question and not sure if anyone can answer this or not. My Fiance has custody of his children and now the kids mom is moving to (back) to Mexico. She gave up her primary rights when her Husband was deported and she wanted to live with him. She had not seen the kids for over a 8mo’s and pretty much when she came back over the summer only took them for 4 weeks, even though she was given 6 weeks. He is in the process in filing for child support. When we filed she led us to believe she wasn’t going back, so now we have the state where she was living and PA going back and fourth and still didn’t get a hearing scheduled. She is leaving now on Monday to move back to Mexico and we don’t expect to see her again till next summer.
    Anyone have any advice that may help us since this hearing doesn’t seem to be getting any closer. She has not made any attempts to help financially with the kids. What will happen to her if she doesn’t pay?

  • Roxana campos

    I recently moved like 70 miles away from my sons father i left him when my son was 7 months old because he was irresponsible and a gambler, so after 7 yrs he decided to come back , he paid child support thru wage garnishments, when we went to court judge gave him 3 hrs supervised visitations once a month, my questions is I had no idea i had to notify him and the court , I did this move because we were paying too much rent where we lived and it was gonna go up, and my grandma who babysat for me , was sick and couldnt watch my kids anymore ,what can happen if i did the move without notifying the court or him the nc parent ?

    • Annette

      Roxana, I would contact my attorney immediately. All moves have to be agreed upon between parents and changed made through the courts. Your ex would have to give you permission to move, and I would have an attorney draw up some papers with that agreement signed and notarized. Also, legally…he has the right to always know the address of where his child lives. As long as he is not making a huge issue of it, you are probably ok, but he could take you to court and try to get the custody changed. All this info should be in your original divorce documents stating the guidelines.

      Bottom line…Put yourself in his shoes, if it were you, wouldn’t you want to know too.

  • Tori

    what is the custodial parent moves out of state with out children? my boyfriend has already been in court, he has 50/50 visitation and his ex was denied the removal of children, but she is still moving, going to school out of state….. during the removal trial he was denied the Joint Custody cause of the 2 years clause and that she hadnt said that she was leaving with out them if she lost the removal case. Any ideas what he should do. file for custody?

  • a worried mother

    I have 2 lil girls & I was never married. To there father. He only comes to see them for a few hours every 3 months or so. He never takess them even for a few hours. In. His care when we were together my older girl sufferd from a dislocated elbow in his care & also nocked out 4 front teeth. I live in ca & want to move to texas with my soon to be husband. I am curently filing for full physical & legal custody. If its granted to me can he still prevent me from moving? My girls would be a lot better off in texas we would be living in a house not a RV as we are nw. & much better & safer schools.

  • Sjackson20

    I have been currently going through the court process with my daughters father since she was born (she is almost 2 now) he has never exercised his full visitation amount of time, has a drug/alcohol problem, and is abusive. The courts here (CA) are so difficult. They keep giving him chance after chance. I have had 2 restraining orders against him and still has done no good. My fiance is in the navy and is currently over seas but comes home in Feb. 2012. From there we want to move to San Diego, where he will be stationed, Its about a 10 hour drive from where we currently live. Right now I have temporary orders for Sole physical and legal custody and a pending hearing. What are my chances of getting approved for a move away? How soon before should I start the paper work? It would allow me to work less and be home with my daughter, focus on school more, Alexa would have better opportunites for activities, and I would allow a skype session with her dad every night(assuming he takes advantage of it) along with one weekend out of the month, every other holiday, and 4 weeks during the summer. Does that seem like a reasonable visitation request? What do I do?

  • Ashley

    ve was the custodial parent when I left state of TN 5yr ago was going tocourt for dad have visitation well I left him & judge a certified letter stating I was moving since then he been arrested 2 more kids & suppsely the court date was for an order of protection I put on father my daughter is now 6 should I b worried he knew where hwe was didn’t push anything v

  • http://no Nila Fordyce

    It is never in the best interest of a child for them to be ripped from a very good fit and bonded parent…Now, if there is some form of real abuse proven,then that’s different people. But you don’t take children away from their good parents. This is more than incredibly selfish and difinitely inimical to the child’s growth. And who ever does this should have their heads examined–including the infamous Family Legal System in our country. Some states sadly our worse than others. Children thrive with both good fit parents intheir lives no matter what the marital situation is. This has been proven over an over. The Family Legal System does not take into consideration the best interest for the child –nor do they no or care…And you ever heard the screams of a child that misses her Father–I have and it is heart wrenching beyond words. I am a woman and this is absolutely disgusting for a mother to take a child thousands of miles away from the father they adore. Sadly, this happens all the time and it should stop…

    • LAFLORES

      i totally agree with you. as a women and mother u want the best for ur children. even if it means them speinding time with their father that you may nto get along yet he is trying to be in their childs life. many women dont apprecate that instead they become selfish and want everything their way.

    • Jules

      I have never responded to a comment before but I felt the need to this time. First I am sorry that you have had such a bad experience in your life with this particular subject. I agree with you that it is heart wrenching to hear a child’s cry specially when it comes to missing either parent. Yes the studies are out there about children having problems in their life time if both parents are not consistently involved in their lives, but I think it has to be looked at on a case by case basis.
      Yes it was HEART WRENCHING to hear my 3 yr old daughter cry every night, for months, after my ex left. I honestly feel that the greater damage has alraedy been done and certainly the verbal abuse and fighting when we were married had to stop, I had to stop it.
      Believe me when I tell you that it has been a very, very difficult and emotional decision to have to relocate “thousand” of miles away. one I do not take lightly. But as a mother and the primary care giver sometimes we have to make those very difficult dicisions. It is exhausting and extremely stressful to have to work 2 jobs, try to pay down the large-post divorce debt I was left with (my ex did not appear on any of the major loans we had when we were married and they became my responsibility to pay off) and have no family to help with my daughter (btw my ex lives 2 hrs away).
      I have done this for almost a year now and nothing I do seems to be helping. It is by God’s will alone that I can take it all one day at a time.
      I think what is most important is that you provide and promote a safe, consistent and loving relationship for your child with everyone in their lives.
      Please don’t be so hard on those parents who are trying to do the best they can under the circumstances. I have allowed my faith in God to lead me in my decisions reguarding my daughter and so far she has come out of a very difficult divorce pretty well, she is healthy, happy and thriving. The decision to relocate will also be challenging but in the end it will all work out, as long as the adults in her life are ok.
      I’m sorry but I just felt the need to explain what the other side of the fence is going through. Thank you

      • shannon

        What if the mother moves the child out of state, promising the father visitation whenever he wants, but then when the father cannot afford to visit as often as he can (he is sole earner in his family and has other children) the mother gets angry and wants to take father to court to get full custody? The father is not abusive in any way, he is just trying to now cope with having his daughter living over a thousand miles away.

  • storm trooper 6

    I will be on PCS orders in May 2012 and my wife’s ex says that she picked her life but the kids will not go. He see’s his kids 2 days a week and the kids always cry about going with him and they have told us they want to go with us and not stay with him, but the divorce decree says they are both residential guardians and I know we have to apply 60 days in advance to the move and we tried to work on it but he wants no part in it. Even asking me what happens if I don’t go and saying it is not his concern but it is.I just want to hear from people with similar cases and how they favored in the end.

    Please no wise cracks I am not looking for legal advise just want to hear from similar scenarios.

    • PRsoldja

      I am in the same boat. I am PCSing in April, My wife’s ex has told her that the only way that she is leaving Florida is when he retires, They can both leave together. They got divorced in Texas. I am getting ready for a full-out legal battle!!! The one thing that might sway the judge is that he has been arrested twice. If anybody has anymore suggestions, Please help out in this matter!!!

  • KCharles

    My son’s father and I have 50/50 custody.He has not worked or given support since 2007. He took me to court 12/2007 to have the support order modified so that he no longer had to pay. He still kept his physical custody. In June he could not pay rent. He called one morning and said he was moving that day to another state. Can I get sole physical custody? Can I take him to court if he’s not here?

  • Amy

    I have a question. My ex has moved acrossed the country to California. I have the children. He refuses to pay child support, I’m remarried and have lived in Florida for 10 years. My current husband just got a job in Alabama. I pay for half the travel expenses when my ex chooses to have his visitations. Does he have a say in where we live, if he moved acrossed the country and left the children?

  • mar

    My husband took his daughters mom to court so he could finally had a relationship with her after all the failed verbal agreements. now the mother wants to relocate because her husband is in the army. we are affraid they will give her prefference since shes a army wife and that once she relocates she could fight the case at the new state and push us away from the childs life. we are affraid all the moving could affect the child. can she fight it? would she get preference? would they considered switching places

    because once she moved to a michigan and after the 6 months to be a residen passed and couldnt be forced to come back she didnt let him see her as agreed and was controlling on the calls, she even asked for him to give away his rights so her new husband could claim her. she wanted to keep him away from the child’s life for no right reason but that thats what she wanted… once he took her to court in MI he got what was right. visitation rights, share legal custody and he also volunteer to give child support. not many men do that. put their pride aside and fight to be in their kids life. many woman would love for their children to have that. i wish my own father would of done that his self. anyways… after going throught all this stress and traveling 600 miles & 14 hrs driving after the child support court she asked if he would agree to let them to relocate to Tennessee and lower the child support to $40 less. he took her to court to be in his childs life no matter the price and now she wants to relocate almost double the miles. 900 miles. and shes been very pushy about it practicaly harrasing. what can we do? what if she brain washes the child. kids are naive and at times think thigs are right when they are wrong? and we are affraid this could affect our daughter as well. someone please gve us hope

  • Jamie

    I live in Alaska and my soon to be ex wife wants to move to Oregon with our 9 month old daughter.. I have made
    Many mistakes in our marriage .. She is only moving to hurt me and get me less time with my daughter .. In a recovering alcoholic who
    Has been clean now 6 months and I do regular random alcohol test for my x.. I’m willing to let her leave but she is not willing to cut my child support down so I can fl down an see my daughter.. When I got to see her it will be a minimum of 1000 with flight and car and hotel… I pay her 1400 a month as it is plus 800 for daycare..I want to be apart of my little girls life more than anything and my x does bot care at all.. Any suggestions?? Thanks

  • Momof3

    I live in California, my ex and I had one child together and we currently have an order placed for support. Im the custodial parent and recently had a baby with my new boyfriend ( we r not married) and another on the way. My son and I live now with my new boyfriend and our babies. He works and I receive unemployment, how will this change the current child support if This gets modified?

  • alie

    In Dec 2010, in NY I was granted sole custody of my 3 year old daughter because her biological father never showed up to court, and granted permission to move to FL. I have lived in FL for 9 months and have a very stable life, am married, and also have another child with my husband thats 4 months old. My daughters father still lives in NY and stopped paying his child support of 300 dollars a month a month ago. He has no job, no vehicle and lives with his mother who has drug problems. I was told he was going to try to get visitation on my daughter recently. Which state would he and I have to go through? What are the guidelines for my husband to adopt her? (she only knows him as daddy)Can he file in NY and be granted anything or would he have to go through FL since its been six months?

    • traci

      Alie,

      Not to worry hon, He has to file in Florida and with what you have written you could request supervised visits in FL, she doesnt know him and the best interest would serve as he would need to bond with her but only under supervision. Have your support case transferred to FL and file for a change of venue another words have your case turned to Fl for them to handle all interest of the child.

      PS nothing to worry about….

      • alie

        Thanks so much traci!

  • Sharon

    I have a 3 year old son, his father and I were never married. We have been separated for 2 years. We have never filed for child support or custody with the court before. In the state of IL (where my son and i live) i am considered the custodial parent in this kind of situation and my son has always lived with me, i pay for and provide EVERYTHING. His father is chronically unemployed, never paid child support or helped out financially in anyway. He jumps from girlfriend to girlfriend and has just recently moved 2 hours away out of state and expects me to pay traveling expenses to facilitate his relationship with our son. There is no visitation order in effect. He see’s him based on his own convenience and expects me to bend over backwards to meet his convenience. He calls me MAYBE a day in advance when he wants to see our son and demands the time and place. He cancels, doesn’t show up or changes the day and time in which he plans to see or return our son. I am married now and pregnant with baby number 2 and my husband and I both have just been offered a job in Nebraska that will greatly improve our financial situation. Moving to Nebraska and getting these jobs will enable me to go back to school and finish my degree, pay for my sons education, get my husband off disability and hopefully get us off of state aid completely as we are currently now in a very low income brackett and struggling to make ends meet. We also have family in Nebraska that are willing to help us make the transition, provide babysitting and a better family dynamic as we have no family nearby our current residence that we are in regular contact with. I know my sons father will not give me consent to make this move. At this point, the longer we stay in IL (which his father doesnt even live in this state anymore) the longer we struggle to provide what my son deserves. I’ve been seeking legal advice from lawyers at the land of lincoln but they cannot represent me bc MY EX is unemployed and i cannot afford a private lawyer, and Im afraid if i file for leave of removal, the court process will take forever and time is already not on my side. What would happen to me if i moved my son to NE without filing for a leave of removal? How long would it take to get permission from a judge if i did file and wait to move? What are the chances that a judge would deny my request to move and improve our lives?

    • Step-Mommy

      I don’t believe that you would have to file anything for the fact that you don’t have a court order in place. If you haven’t gone to court at all, then they don’t have any records or your situation. I believe that you can just go if you want. You can always call the court to ask a question. I have done that numerous times. Hope that this helps.

  • stacy

    In Florida my Fiance has custody of his child we are going to be married in a few months. He has just gottin a job offer in Alaska that pays nearly 100,000 a year. The job market her is very bad. He has had to go on food stamps and medicaid. The mother is ordered to pay child support but never has. She gets every other weekend and most of the summer. She lives in a small hotel room where the child stays when with her on the weekends. She lets her boyfriends stay there with her as well.Their has been a few months where she didnt get her child at all on her weekends. My question is do you think a judge would approve this move? We could fly the child to her mom for the summer break if need be.

  • Ashley

    I had custody when I left can the judge take it away since I didn’t o to court but left a certified letter of 26pgs of y I was leaving this was n TN 5yrs ago he knew where are didn’t push nothing & nothing’s on me he was never involved in my daughters life she’s 6 now I show her pics of him says he’s scary looking all tat up smoking drinking & he has 2 boys which 1 is 10mts younger then my daughter I don’t feel bad 4 leaving state cause her life would’ve been hell with him.n it

  • Chay

    What if i was looking to move out of NY to CT with my kids because my boyfriends job is out there and it would better my family but my sons father is telling me i cant leave the state? I would only be 1 1/2 to 2hrs away and it wouldn’t interfere with his every other weekend court ordered time with my son. Would i have to go to court? Would a judge tell me i couldnt move?

  • Mom

    My daughter was raised knowing my youngest daughters father was also her father as he came in her life wrung she was barely 1. The biological dad came back to Ohio when my daughter was just turning 6 its been. Non stop battle with this, he finally got on a schedule less than 6mnths with a steady visitation then he up and moved to Vegas with his new wife and her children, after 6mnths again no contact he comes in with more fight, the court ordered to fly my almost 7 yr old daughter to Vegas and ordered me to initiate contact 2 days of the week, she flew out 2 weeks….than again I was ordered her to fly and stay 6 weeks! She is now 8 my youngest daughtets father got offered a awesome job back in oct in NY we had ( in 7 yrs) one big fight and split going to anger management and counseling as our fight was through very rough and tight times, I have found we got everything together and not only him but I both had financial pppurtunities, also a great place 1% crime rate, great schools and the family life so I contacted dad and ATT about move, 4 days later after both kids are enrolled in school, bio dad emails me and order a restraining order saying I’m not to leave Ohio and if I did bio dad receives temp. custody???????? Are the court systems serious? The bio dads wife’s children performed oral in front of my daughter on one visit, case closed because it was children 4 and 9 boys and they couldn’t get info from the oldest?? I’m very distraught, o contacted the (GAL) ATT for my daughter wich court appointed after CS closed case on “exploring” kids o contacted her via email about the move, never got a response, however 2 months prior I contacted GAL and my ATT, asking of anything could keep me from moving, they said I see nothing saying u can not move….everything is out of control because bio dad wants control for the past 2 and a half years and even though its…..2 times a year, it seems the court is partial to him??? I’m just trying to give my kids a good life finacially good and in ohio I was on state ass. No opportunities, living with my mom who is very limited n tight. So how can the court say if leave state he gets custody???? Any thought? Insight? Anybody?

  • Jeannine

    My ex husband and I have joint physical custody with me having sole residential custody in NY. He moved to North Carolina 2 years ago after notifying just me. Am I bound by law to remain in NY or am I free to move to another state without having to go through a relocation application?

  • Step-Mommy

    I have a quick question. My husband’s ex has just gotten married within the past month and is now deciding that she wants to move from NJ to AZ. My husband and his ex have already talked about changing the custody arrangements so that we get his child for the entire summer and some long holidays. My question is, how will the child support be handled? Since the case was opened in NJ, will we continue doing everything with the NJ courts, or will everything have to get transferred to AZ since that is where his ex is moving with their child? I just wanted to know if anyone could answer my question. I will probably call the court on Monday to see what I can figure out. We still have until next year, but I am the type of person who likes to have everything in order. Thank you for your help and time.

  • Step-Mommy

    The best advice I can give you is to go and see if you can find a lawyer (pro bono lawyer even) and file papers. You can contest her moving with your child, where they would have to modify visitation arrangements as well as child support. And if she doesn’t follow the court order (once in place) then she is in contempt and could be jailed.

  • Step-Mommy

    The best thing for you both to do is file papers with the court. Let the Judge decide the case. How old are the children? They can choose what they want at a certain age. If you have any evidence of how the children feel, you can also use that. My husband and I have gone to court so many times because his ex wanted to raise the child support to pay for things for herself. She would make verbal agreements and then turn around and not go through with them. We finally got tired of it and started to go to court to let the Judge decide everything. I hope this helps.

  • Bay

    ok i have a friend and the mother of his child is moving to another state with the baby. He has no legal rights. His name is not on the birth certificate. what can he do so that she cannot take the baby?

    • shlAey

      Get a court ordered dna test done if he wants to be part of the kid life but if don’t I wldnt worry bout it that means no support 4 a child don’t c and if court ordered then she have let him c kid

    • Step-Mommy

      Is the child possibly his?
      If so, he can go to the court and request a paternity test.
      Once it is established that he is the father, he will have rights, but he will also have to start paying child support.

  • john6670

    my daughter lives in alabama, and wants to leave her abusive husband, she wants to leave with the kids, boy 10 and girl 4, and come to pa, where gran and poppy can take care of the kids while she works as a nurse. can her husband make her come back to ala.? please reply. thx.

  • Youngwidow

    I am a new widow and my late husband’s mother has been giving me problems because she wants too much visitation, even while I have been very generous with the visits. When she doesn’t get what she wants she actually harasses me along with the rest of his family. It’s really unfortunate. Anyway I am the one considering a court order for visitation so that the visits will be set each month and maybe the abuse might stop and the constant requests for visits stop. However, I am also considering a very tempting offer to move from NY (where we live now) to Florida. My question is can I move once we have court ordered visitation? Can grandparents who have once a month visitation stop me from moving to Florida? Should I not get the court order and attempt to move knowing that they will NOT let me go easily? If I am allowed to move how would visits work with a 10 year old? I don’t like the idea of her having to always be on an airplane. You would think I wouldn’t have these issues being the only parent here but this grandmother is out of control!

    • shlAey

      Jus move if better your life and kids keep the courts out of it they just ruin your life

      • Katie

        DO NOT start ANYTHING in court. Just move. I live in Minnesota and am contemplating a move to Florida also but I am afraid my stepdaughters grandparents might be able to do something to stop me. However, my attorney has told me there is nothing she can do to stop me from going.

  • in need of advice

    I have recently moved 180 miles from my girls father I have custody he has visitation on weekends I asked him if it was ok to move and he told me yes I now have a very good job and a very nice affordable apartment that I can afford on my own which I couldnt back where I used to live. He now filed for custody He has not missed one weekend with his girls and they dont even like going there they always cry. Now hes saying that he never said I could move and is going back on his word can the court make me move back or give him custody?

  • MOM

    what where to happen if there was no custody set between parents and one parent decided to leave state. but the parent that is trying to leave state also knows there maybe a trail set for custody? and this would be in the state of kansas

  • Worried

    Ok… So my husband has a daughter who he gets every other weekend. We live in KY and now them mother has up and left and moved too Florida. We have been thru court today because the mom had charged for abuse and neglect on her but they were dismissed because she did not show up. How in the heck…. Also is it legal that she can leave out of state with no notice, not have the child here for us on our scheduled weeks and not show for court but yet still win? is this common?

    • Step-Mommy

      The mother is supposed to give notice in writing to the father if she wants to move out of state and if he does not agree, then they go to court for the judge to either, approve her moving or disapprove it. She cannot just move if it is going to disrupt the time their child gets with the father. This is technically custodial kidnapping and if your son goes to court, there will be a warrant issued to have her come back to the state the original court order is in. She could face jail time.
      Hope that this helps.

  • Granmama6

    My daughter has joint legal custody of her daughter with her ex BF. He pulled a lot of strings and forced her to move back to the state she was living in when she had the baby girl (he is an ex law enforcement person). He choose certain towns she could live in when she moved back in order for her to get her daughter back in her physical custody. She has moved on with her life, met a wonderful young man who takes great care of both my daughter and my granddaughter and they are planning a 2012 wedding. Her fiance was granted a home loan which would allow them to become home owners instead of renters, give the child a better life, and be more financially stable. However the loan requires them to live in rural areas, which are not what her ex BF choose for her to live in. This was 2 years ago by the way. She sent him a letter notifying him of the propsed location (which was no more than 15 minutes from their current home) AND offered to meet the ex in that same city for his visitations so he would not have to drive any further or spend any extra time in the car. He has refused and filed a motion with the courts seeking FULL custody of their daughter now…saying she is an unfit mother.
    My question is first off…has anyone ever heard of a judge granting custody of a child because the mother wanted to provide a better living enviroment for the child? And, does anyone have any advice for me to give her in winning a custody battle like this, when the ex had no issues with her parenting prior to the proposed move, but now all of a sudden she is unfit to keep custody of her child. And just to clarify, the areas he picked for her to live in, he himself doesn’t even live in and is a home owner. Isn’t there some sort of discrimination or rights being violated to deny her to becoming a home owner? I might be grasping at straws, but this is very stressful for us all and I am trying to help in any way I can, but hiring an attorney right now, none of us have the funds to put up for a retainer, we will get one eventually, but advice from others would be great while we wait.
    Thank you

    • Step-Mommy

      It is possible to get a lawyer. You can go to the Court and see if they have a list of low-income lawyers or even look on the internet for pro-bono ones.
      It sounds like the baby’s father has possessive issues.
      From what I know, he cannot pick the area that she lives in. And she can move as long as it doesn’t affect his visitation times. If she wants to move 15mins away, then she can. Now moving out-f-state is another story.
      My husband’s ex moved a good 20 mins from where she was before and the court said it was fine, as long as we could still get my step-daughter every other weekend.
      Your daughter’s ex is trying to use a scare tactic to get her to do what he wants, to show that he still has some power over her life. My husband’s ex tried to do the same thing with us. She would always threaten that she would take my husband to court if he didn’t do this or that… Finally, we told the Judge everything (I had proof) and it calmed down a lot.
      Is your daughter’s ex harassing them?
      Sorry I got off of the point.
      Yes, he can move as long as it doesn’t affect their visitation arrangement. She can go to court and pick up a Pro Se packet (do it yourself) and file for visitation changes, custody changes, etc. They will have someone who can help you fill out the paperwork, but they just can’t give you advice.
      I hope that this helps you.

  • ashley

    Im glad i found this website, and hopefully someone can help me out. My baby is 1 yrs old. I recently moved 3 hours away for a job so i can have money to support my daughter and I. My daughter is currently staying with my parents till i get situated. Me and the baby father are not together. he wants to move to another state, which is going to be 8 hours or more away from me and my daughter. And i really dont want him to take her to another state, is that even possible? and he wants custody. we are going to court, whenever he finds a lawyer. and im just scared to death, cause i do not know what is going to happen.

    • StepMommy

      Normally the courts do not go against the mother. Have you filed for Child Support? Has your ex been named as your child’s father on the birth certificate? If he is named your child’s father, then you need to go to your court and file for child support. There are people there that can help you with the paperwork. You can also request to have visitation times set. If he does move, you both would have to go back into court to re-establish the court order to allow him to take her out of state and you can voice your concerns to the Judge. I know this might sound weird, especially from a step-mother, but you need to file first. From the experiences that we have had with my husband’s ex, things were more on her side and it was harder to fight back. Either way, you can go to your local courthouse and speak with someone and they can let you know the forms you need, etc. The only thing they can’t do is give you advice. I hope that this helps.

  • Step Dad

    My wife was awarded (pro se) shared custody of her 14 year old in the state of Kansas after many years of mediation with the father. We have lived in North Carolina 14 years and the the son has been her 5 year. We are also on a fixed budget income and want the case formally transferred to North Carolina so she can start child support proceedings. How to we begin this process?

  • Future Step Mom

    My boyfriend used to be in the army and has been out for almost 2 years. He was married and had a daughter who is now 6. They were divorced when their daughter was about 2. When they were married she moved to CA with his family. They ended up getting divorced and she moved to FL. She made plans without his knowing but when he found out he decided to let her go since he was on the border mission where it was going to be too hard to see her and he didn’t have a place where she could stay with him. She moved what was supposed to be temporary but she ended up finishing school and getting a good job. Then she remarried a man in the air force. We get his daughter every other Christmas and every summer and he has never missed paying child support on time and has always helped her out with extras. Now her new husband got orders for 4 years in Japan. He is allowing it as long as they stick to their original divorce paperwork that he still gets his Christmas and summer. Well now come to find out she wants him to pay half the plane costs for her to come out. It is going to be $6000 so $3000 a piece. He thinks he has no right to say she can’t go. And he thinks he is obligated to pay the flights even though he doesn’t have that kind of money even if he were to save each year. They leave next month and this is our Christmas and there is no way we can come up with that money and not even sure if we can by summer. Since she is the one moving and he’s not even putting up a fight to disrupt her life, shouldn’t she be the one to pay for the flights or at least a majority of it? She already is giving him a hard time with returning phone calls and doing the web cam because she’s too busy with her upcoming move. She has never really worked with him and uses their daughter as leverage. She’s already not working with him now and when they move I feel like his relationship with his daughter will be even more distant since she has her new life with her new step dad and her mom. He doesn’t want to go talk to a lawyer because of money and feels like he has no case. Please help!!

  • jeremy

    i have a ? my ex has moved 4 hours away from me i pay child support get my daughter every 2 weeks and summer breaks ect.. but my ex moved about 3 months prior and left my daughter with her mother which would be my daughters grandmother she would not let me get hear intil she finished the school year out. now she has moved my daughter 4 hours away and has not let me see my daughter now for over a month, i went to do attempt a court on her well when i got there i have learned that she is trying to higher my child support and take all my visitation rights away except on summers and christmas day. i did not agree to this move, she told me that she was getting a better job but on the new paper work in court it says shes getting married, which i know shes not. what can i do? what do i need to do? besides lawyer i already know this i am in the process right now to find one for the $$ i can afford.

  • Ashleigh

    my son absolutley hates going to his dads. my son always comes back sick, bruises, n it always takes me bout week to get him back on track. his dad shows little concern for how our son is and i am always responsible for transportation even though it was court ordered that he is responible. now that i moved to a different county, but in same state, is he required to be responsible for transportation, we meet half way or am i responsible?

    • Step-Mommy

      If it is court ordered that he is in charge of transportation, then that is what it is. My husband is in charge of transportation and we pick my step-daughter up and take her home every other weekend. You DO NOT have to take your son to his dad’s house. It is HIS responsibility to get his son and bring him home. If you have concerns with your son getting hurt at his father’s, then you need to document everything. Take pictures of the bruises and find out how your son got them. You can also call your local police station to see what you can do also. You can file a police report as well and then you can go to court if need be. I hope that this helps.

  • aigarcia

    My plans are to move to MA . i currently live in Miami, FL. I will be relocating in Dec. My ex was informed last night and it’s not what he wants. He is usually good at seeing her on his scheduled time twice a week and every other weekend. my question is in december if the process hasn’t been completed thru the courts can i leave with her? if i decide to leave her to finish school will it be against my best interest to do so once everything is legally finalized?

    • Step-Mommy

      If you do leave will her before the process is completed with the courts, you can be charged with custodial kidnapping. I am not sure if it will be against your best interest, but you can give your ex temporary custody just until your daughter finishes school, butyour best bet is to go to court and ask someone there in the Family Court Dept the questions.

  • Robert Clay

    my ex fiance is planning on moving out of state with my son, if i have visitation or if i get what i am going for which is joint custody, will he let her move my baby boy away from me. cause last i heard they could only move like 60 miles away. so what happens?.

    • Step-Mommy

      It is all up to the judge, but the courts do not like to disrupt the relationship between the non-custodial parent and child, if there are any visitations and if the non-custodial parent is doing what they are supposed to. Regardless, you can go to the court and file papers that would make your ex-fiance go in front of a judge to state the reasons why they want to move and you can state why your child shouldn’t be taken so far away. If they do grant them to move, you can always ask to get your child for the long holidays and for the summer months. Hope that this helps.

  • ana

    i have a question??.. Can family members share custody of the children if the father of the children is in prison.. Even if their in a different state?..

    • Step-Mommy

      You will need to go to your local court. There are papers where the child’s grandparents can have some visitation rights. The people in the family part will be able to answer questions better and get you the right forms to fill out. Hope that this helps.

  • Mom N need of help

    I have 4 children. By 4 different losers. My oldest child really hasn’t seen his father since he was 11 months old. Our court paperwork states that if the father is not around for 6 months straight. Then the visitations were voided. My second child has never meet her father. As he just got out of jail for rape. I believe. So he will not be seeing our child. My third child has also never seen her father. As he doesn’t want a part of her life. He is not even on the birth certificate. And last my fourth child. Hasn’t seen his father in over 6 months. We don’t even have a parenting plan either. The father never shows up for court. He wouldn’t even take the DNA test.
    So I have court papers stating that I am the custodial parent.
    I live in the state of Washington. I want to move from the town I am in to another town.
    But I am staying in the same state. I notified the child support office in the city where I live.
    How do I go about doing this.?
    Do I inform the courts.? Who do I let know where I want to move?

    • Step-Mommy

      If you have a court order through the courts then you have to go through them to leave. You can visit your local court and go to the family part and they can help you get the proper paperwork. If there is not a court order in place for any of your children, then you can do whatever you please.

  • p.lloyd68

    My ex wife is moving out of state to shack up with a guy she met on the internet and i live in utah and shes moving to Mississippi i don’t feel my daughter is going to be safe i have no psychical custody but i have joint legal what can i do

  • Eddie

    what if the who has custody looses it to the state and the father lives in NC, then the mom looses all she has and becomes homeless and asks the father to move them to NC, what can the state do, I mean the father is stable and has always been there for the child and is taking care of the child can the state take the child from the father if the mother is the one who left the state with them

  • Stepmom

    Ok so my fiance(we live in California) has a daughter who lives in Mexico with her mother, the little girl has US Citizenship, her mother has been ill for a while now and that is the reason he has not wanted to separate the two. He wants his daughter to get a better education and a safer environment to live in but her mother isnot willing to let her come to the US is there anything he can do? The little girl has already missed one year of school and is not getting the proper care any child would need

  • Jay Romax

    I live in New York. My ex “lived” in New Jersey. She moved to Pennsylvania without informing me. What are my options? Who has jurisdiction or can I have the order modified to have child support/visitation moved to PA?

    • Step-Mommy

      Do you have a custody order established? If so, in which state? If you have custody order established, then she is not supposed to move without informing you and then going to court to arrange a new visitation schedule. The court may deny her from moving unless you agree and she has good cause. Hope that this helps.

  • Step-Mommy

    Do you have a custody order established? If so, in which state? If you have custody order established, then she is not supposed to move without informing you and then going to court to arrange a new visitation schedule. The court may deny her from moving unless you agree and she has good cause. Hope that this helps.

  • nursemom1971

    I live in Illinois and have sole custody, my ex has visitation. I remarried a year ago and my husband has been offered a better paying job in a town approximately 115 miles away (same state). My Ex moved to Indiana ( approximately 20 miles from where I live in Ilinois), I’m not sure if he notified the court or not as he still has some mail sent to my house (don’t know why). My husband will start his new job in a month, but the kids and I wouldn’t move until summer as we want them to finish out the school year at their current year. Will my ex be able to prevent my in-state relocation? Thank you.

    • Step-Mommy

      Do you have a court order set up with your ex and the court? My husband’s ex moved within the state without notifying the court. And we moved outside of the state without notifying the court. I believe that as long as it doesn’t disrupt his visitation time, then all is well. You should call your local court to the Famiy Support Center and ask them. Now if you wanted to move out-of-state, then you would definitely have to go to court.

  • karmar

    my ex wife and i have joint custody of our daughter. 1 year ago she moved out of state without asking me or the court first. after she moved she simply sent a text msg. i took no legal action, bc in the past she has held up to her agreement of visitation rights. over the past year my visitations have become less and less and she is now denying visitation all together. I have everytime she has denied me visitation saved in either a text or email, and i have saved my phone bills as proof i have tried to contact my daughter and she would not return my calls. all that i can figure to do now is actually drive 7 hours to her house and ask her face to face, but wasnt sure if there was any kind of legal action she could take against me if i did that, and if i do take her to court will that visit even help me if i record our convo? not sure what step to take next to inforce my visitation as my funds are limited.

    • Step-Mommy

      First off, since she moved out-of-state without notifying the courts or you, you can call your local police and see if she can be arrested for custodial kidnapping. Also, you can go to the court and file a motion. This will allow the courts to find out what is going on. That is good that you have kept all those records so that you have evidence. That is pretty messed up on her part. I hope that all goes well. take care

  • justmyself1980

    My questions is, how long can a custodial parent that is U.S citizen keep a child out of the country? even if it is for a job. i havent seen my child in almost 3 years and 2 more will be added to to the ex’s choice of getting yet another contracting job overseas. By the time, if im lucky the ex will return in 2 years i will have missed half my childs life… i am allowed supervised visits due to lies, and i was unable to see my child because the ex only allows supervised visits in the country he currently resided in. he wont even tell me when he comes to visit his family in the US so i can see my child then. i just do not have $2000 dollars to fly overseas and see my child for 2 hours 3 days in row, that would be the cost without hotel, food, translator since i dont speek the overseas’s countrys language etc…

  • turqouise

    i have a question i’m not married never been…i want to move like 5 states away..now his name is on the birth certificate but we never been to court for anything expect child support which he can’t pay cuz he’s on welfare…would i have to get custody in order to move or can i just move without getting custody

  • Holly

    Important question: I have sole costudy of both of my children. No one in their other family has visitation, but they are trying to file. I however am in the process of moving to another state, I will still be within a 100 miles. What happens if I am served paper work for a hearing while living at my old address, but the hearing is set for after I am living in another state? I have always heard that you must file for visitation in the county that the child lives in. So since I live in another state will the courts just transfer our hearing over to the new county we live in or will they make the person who filed for visitation completley start over and file everything themselves in the new county I live in.

  • yw

    I’m in KcKs my son’s father is in kcMo he pays child support. He hasn’t physically see him since he was 4 yrs old ( mg son is 11now) so nether one knows each other. When ever we talk he always threats to take him from me. My question is if I drop child support can he stop me from moving to another state? He has no relationship with my son! He just pays child support that is all he does!

  • moomyof four

    My husband and ex-wife have joint physical and legal custody(50/50). Ex wife took job in another state and left child behind in NC. Ex never told anyone she moved. Grandmother has been coming to stay with child during her days of visitation. About 2 weeks ago we realized she has not been with child who is 8. How does this work as far as the law? Custody and visitation is not transferable so…how is it that a grandparent can do this? Ex has told child not to say anything. Anyone knows how this works? In their court order either parent is to notify 2 weeks prior to leaving. She has been gone since Mid-July and still has not said anything. Any advice??????

  • Ben

    Ok I am needing some advice. My ex-wife just told me that she is moving to a city 1:30HR away from where we live. I get my daughter Tuesday over night and Wednesday till 6pm. And every other weekend Friday to Sunday! Im a very good father and I’m not just saying that! Will I be able to keep her from moving since it will mess up my visitations during the week! I pick her up from school and take her back to school Wednesday n pick her up after school. would her moving affect my visitation and will the court system take any consideration on that!

    • Momofour

      Point blank….mommy can move but the child cannot. You will need to file an exparte to ensure she does not take the child. You need to act before she leaves! In case she leaves and does not tell you where she is going. One thing the judge will tell you is that you cannot make a unilateral decision to move a child. Hope this helps…..

  • Chinaeyes

    My child’s father moved across town without notifying me or the courts he had moved.Our court order says to pick up our child from his residence which is the address on our court order but if he moved to another address that was not given to the court does this still hold grounds can I still pick our child up from his new place of residence? Will the police enforce my order? My child’s father has soul custody and we both have joint he has four days out of the week and I have three days out of the week.

  • moomyof four

    Though he has sole custody he can’t disobey the court order. If it states he is to inform you when and where he moves, he must do that. He is in contempt. You may want to seek another place for drop off and pick up. He can’t just move and not say anything. He is not allowing you “reasonable visitation” if he cannot be located. Hope this helps….

    • chinaeyes

      Yes thanks for your response moomyof four! I had to follow him from work to find his new address but I think the new address is in hi s girlfriends name and all utilities do I can’t find him but. I was wondering if I can call thd cops out and pick my son up from that address even if its not the stated address on the order? Someone told me I would have to get a new order with his new address.

      Thanks for the help!!!

  • help

    I think you have Joint custody with father having phsical, if this is the case, and your order states that you have visitation on certain days, have the local police meet with you to pick up the child for visitation, if he refuses then its documented, apply with the courts for a emergency exparte order for relief, denied visits and his relocation. it will be changed and then you caan see your child.hell sometimes the court even place the child with the other parent.

  • Londonschill

    I have full physical custody and joint legal of my daughter. We plan to move to UK for one year for my masters degree program. Her NC father is aware and is okay with the move. I read that I should get a notarized letter signed by the NC parent so immigration etc knows NC parent is in agreement and is aware of the move. But I do not know exactly what details or wording needs to be in the letter. Anyone know how/where I can find out besides hiring a family law attorney for this simple letter? Or do I just need to bring with me a copy of our court papers showing I have physical custody?

  • J582

    What happens if the custodial parent moves 60 miles away and non custodial parent waited 6 months to file with the court to relocate the child back to his home of birth. There was a trial yesterday, and the non custodial parent was able to prove without a doubt that the childs stability and ties with his family were severely impacted and the judge was able to catch the custodial parent in many many lies about her testimony. The judge clearly stated that if the non custodial parent would have filed the motion when the custodial parent left that he would have been able to make a judgement to return the child that day. The custodial parent did not obtain permission to relocate the child as well. the judge gave counsel 10 days to submit a brief entailing relocation and a court case in existence where after the non custodial parent waited longer than 6 months to file an won the relocation? Can anyone help??

  • Bulldawghater

    I Have the opportunity to work a year contract overseas. I am the non-custodial parent and have never missed a support payment. I do not get to see my kids according to the visitation schedule due to my ex moving 5 hours away. Financially I can not afford the gas every other weekend. I want to take this job because it will allow my new wife and I to buy a house and a second vehicle to transport all of us. If I take the job can my exsue me for non compliance of the visitation? I will be gone 3 months and home for one month. I would be able to talk with them and see them on my trips home.

  • missmykids101

    Hi,
    I am the noncustodial parent and have been divorced for over 8 years. In 2009 my ex wife notified me that she would be moving to another county, about 1 1/2 hours from our current town. Prior to her move, I had the kids for 2 nights during the week ( where I had them overnight and took them to school) and every other weekend ( fri-sun). I also coached both of their soccer teams, and was able to attend every school event.
    Now, about a 3 hour ( both ways) commute keeps me from seeing my children.
    Originally, I did not contest the move as she was very willing and apologetic about her new marriage. She promised she would drive the children most days and kept them in their sports in my town.
    Now in 2011, they both play sports and go to school in their new county. They sports teams are travel and at times, the travel distance is doubled. I am constantly getting threatening texts. If I do not go above and beyond current child support and give her additional funds she tells me she will not let me see my children or drive them either way. I am unable to coach their teams. She doesnt answer my calls when i try to speak with my children. I feel isolated and honestly just miss my kids.I now only have my kids every other Saturday and Sunday. Most sports games are on those days so we dont get much time together.Ive gone from seeing my children for almost half the week, to 4 days a month.
    I live in PA. SInce I did not originally contest the move, do I still have any rights? I want whats best for my kids and do not want to disrupt their lives but constnatly feel like Im being threatened and have no options. Please help.Any advice is appreciated as I am not able to afford an attorney.

  • help

    Per Pa Law even if you consented she would have to file with the court with a modification the laws changed Jam 2011, you do have rights, file for a modification and attach the relocation agreement , the courts are not going to be pleased about the interest of the children not being served. Go to you local text company and get them printed with the threats and understand that support and custody in the state of Pa are 2 different cases, You have rights and they are both of your children. Dont give up……Legal aid has paralegal that can help you do the paperwork and its very cheap. You;ll have to pay the filing fees. Good luck and remember you are doing whats best for your children.

  • Gerard

    Hi, I filed a visitation petition to see my daughter in south carolina, where my child, my ex-girlfriend and I used to live,because it was a mouth my child mother didn’t allow me to see my daughter, but the same day I was served with an accusation of domestic violence in the state of Florida by the mother of my daughter, (I did not know they were living in Florida) I went to Florida and I win the case, however she never gave me the address where my daughter lives. I talk to social services, police and all told me that without the address they could not do anything. I pay money to find out where they were living and so for the South Carolina court could served her

    The court day was 3 months after my request has been entered, she did’nt present in court, claiming she had received the letter too late, that day the court assigned a mediator, the mediator have not yet indicated the day of the appointment. My fears is that it’s been 4 months where I have not had any contact with my daughter and the last thing her mother did was close the bank account where I was deposited money to my daughter, I am afraid that she try to leave the country because we are foreign and my daughter has a passport

  • BrownEyes

    My question.. I live in Ohio. Father and I are going thru court over our infant who is 5 months old. Father is fighting for 50/50 custody. I however am wanting to relocate out of state. Father of course disagrees. Is there anyway the courts can stop me from moving? I’ve filed for the motion to relocate. We are scheduled to go to court next month to figure out visitation and whether or not I am allowed to move. I’ve offered extended weekends after child is appropriate age. Child is breastfed. I’ve even offered an overnight to start now every other weekend. I’ve offered 4 straight days every other weekend with hours appropriate to still breastfeed. I am not an unfit mother. Father has had numerous DUI’s. Is there anyway they can not title me as the residential parent? Any helpful advice? We also have a guardian who has suggested 2 days a week and also every other weekend for 48 hours. My opinion the guardian does not know my infant. My attorney seems to be confident, but doesn’t speak much. I’m scared. I don’t want to lose my infant! Father and I were never married. I’m now recently married and want to relocate to live with husband. Father is complaining about transfortstion. I’m a stay at home mom. Advice?

  • Maggie

    I am in a differnet situation.

    I have a child by my ex-BOYFRIEND. We were never married or anything of that sort. Had a child and we have been split up for about 2-3 years. I since have moved on and want to move in with my new boyfriend. I have primary physical custody. I want to move WITHIN the same state and county. However, my child’s father is putting up a HUGE fight and saying that this is not going to fly and he will not allow it. What

    What should I do? What do I need to do?

  • jengary

    So I moved to FL 3 years ago from OH and my daughters father is now taking me to court for parental rights and to claim her on his taxes. We were never married. He doesn’t even try to get ahold of her. He took me to court for the same thing in 2009 but never showed up. He is now in jail for felonious assault. But if my daughter is a FL resident how can he take me to court in OH? She is scared of him and I don’t want her around violence. What do I do?

  • Shawn

    My ex-wife moved to mississippi, from ohio with our 12 year old son, she does have full custody. I cannot drive the 8 hours it would take to meet her half way every other weekend to see him, She never filed thru the courts to move. All i asked her was to lower my support and she refuses. ANY SUGGESTIONS?

  • Cpilot

    My ex is moving to Florida. We live in GA and I have joint legal but she has sole physical custody. I havent seen anything specific for the state of GA (where the order was made) can anyone help please? I can’t afford a lawyer because child support sucks me dry. I litterally get $40 a week after CS…. thanks in advance

    • help

      The Basics of Child Custody Laws in Georgia

      Like all child custody laws, Georgia has its own unique set of regulations that judges follow when awarding custody. If you and the other parent of your children are divorcing or breaking up, you need to understand the basics of Georgia child custody law.

      Courts in Georgia, like other states, considers the best interests of the child when making custody determinations.

      However, Georgia has its own set of laws regulating child custody and support, so it is important to work with an attorney who is familiar with the laws in the Peach State to help you, your children, and your ex arrive at the best possible custody arrangement.

      Georgia Child Custody Laws

      Under Georgia law, both parents are equal when it comes to child custody arrangements. The court may award joint custody or sole custody. When it comes to child custody laws, Georgia awards two types of custody: legal custody and physical custody.

      Legal custody is the right to make major decisions regarding the child. With joint legal custody, both parents have equal rights and responsibilities to make major decisions concerning the child. One parent has final decision-making rights about medical, educational, extracurricular, and religious decisions.

      Physical custody refers to which parent the child lives with. With joint physical custody, both parents share substantially equal time and contact with the child. In awarding joint custody, the court may order joint legal custody, joint physical custody, or both.

      In Georgia, children who are 14 years or older often make a custody election about which parent they would prefer to live with. However, a judge can overrule the custody election if the judge decides that living with the child’s preferred parent is not in the child’s best interests.

      According to the child custody laws in Georgia, a parenting plan is required for any custody agreement. The parenting plan generally must recognize that:

      A close and continuing parent-child relationship and continuity in the child’s life is in the child’s best interest.
      A child’s needs change and grow as the child matures, and parents should consider this in order to minimize future modifications.
      The parent with physical custody will make day-to-day decisions and emergency decisions while the child is residing with that parent.
      Both parents will have access to all of the child’s records and information, including matters concerning education, health, extracurricular, and religious instruction.
      Unless parents agree or the judge decides otherwise, a parenting plan will also usually outline:

      Where the child will spend each day of the year.
      How holidays, birthdays, vacations, school breaks, and other special occasions will be spent.
      Transportation arrangements, including how and where the child will be exchanged and how transportation costs will be paid.
      Whether supervision is needed, and if so, the particulars of the supervision.
      How the parents will allocate decision-making authority with regard to the child’s education, health, extracurricular activities, and religious upbringing. If the parties agree the matters should be jointly decided, the parenting plan will outline how to resolve a situation in which the parents disagree.
      What, if any, limitations exist while one parent has physical custody in terms of the other parent’s contacting the child and the other parent’s right to have access to information regarding the child.

      • megan

        What about if the non custodial parent isn’t on the birth certificate and the the mother breifly moved to the state where the non custodial parent resides but mokves back to the child place of birth..if the father chooses to try and fight for custody will he have to go to the state where the child and mother live or will the mother have to go to the father?

  • sasquatch

    I need help and advice ASAP! I was extradited from Texas and put in jail in Michigan for felony failure to pay child support. I havent paid since 2006, when i had quit my job and the next month severely broke my ankle. I haven’t really been working steady until recently. But, here’s my problem with all this. The woman I have the kid with moved out of Michigan before I had stopped paying. She didn’t get permission to move out of state nor has she informed Michigan that she has lived in Florida and pennsylvannia for the past few years. I would call the friend of the court in michigan to ask for her contact info so I could see my daughter, but every time was told that she was in michigan. I know she wasn’t in MI during all the time the state says I owe for. How is the state saying I owe them for current medical and other state aid stuff if my daughter and her mother haven’t been in MI to receive these benefits. And how is it fair that the state is still billing me the child support for all this time when she wasnt even here. The mother and I didnt even make contact till may of this yr. I sent her child support money western union for three months till I was picked up and brought to MI. Her and I were beginning the process of removing the courts from our case and she was going to dismiss all arrears owed to her. I could be going to jail for this! I try to do the right thing and be a good father now and i get punished. She even said on a conference call in court, that she wants all arrears dropped and her and I will make an agreement. Yet I sat in jail for 60 days and have lost all money for bills etc since i haven’t been able to work. I am out on a pr bond and have another pretrial Dec 6. I have been exhausting myself trying to look up laws regarding this, but can’t find anything as to what happens when both of us are not residents and haven’t been residents for years, of MI and how they still have the authority in this. She left the state illegally! Shouldn’t this have voided all support and Michigan state aid as soon as she illegally left, and been made to apply for child support in her new state? Any help would b appreciated, or where to find the laws on this, especially where both of us r not residents of Michigan. Thank u all.

  • Angel

    I am trying to relocate my daughter to SD CA. My x, when we were divorced put in his motion of discovery that he loved and cared for his daughter and would not be able to see her as much, even though he would have her more just bulk times. The courts said we could not relocate. Since this time it has been 6 months since he has seen, called, texted or had anything to do with her. My boyfriend and I of 3 years (he resides in CA) are wanting to get married. I know that I am need to write a re-location letter (certified to the x)… am I fighting yet another losing battle?

  • caring father

    Not married but expecting a baby boy. Mother decided out of the blue to leave me and move five and a half hours away. And she never told me I found out from a friend. What can I do? I can’t move because I own a business. I care so much about this child and know i would give him a better life.

  • cristina

    I was born in Peru which is where my birth mother lives.my dad joined the military when I was just a kid,he came to get me from Peru to the u.s where he had a new wife,me and my stepmom got close,my dad went to another country and met another woman,cheated on my stepmom,then one day my stepmom got a notice that she’s divorced he filed a divorced and married his new wife so she can get papers and travel to the u.s,he now doesn’t send any money for me or my needs because he is trying to punish me for choosing to stay with my stepmom which I now consider my mom.I want to know what I can do to get my dad to send me child support.

  • Maria

    My children live with their father and my visitation was temporarily taken away last year. I have since gotten my life on track and am going back to court. The only thing is that he has moved and will not tell me where they live or allow me to have contact with the children. I do know which city they are in and which high school my oldest son is attending. But I don’t know how to find him so I can serve him the papers.

  • ArmyWife

    HELP!!!!!!

    I remarried a couple weeks ago, my new husband is active duty military. he just got stationed in Germany. My son and I are going with him. My ex-husband wants to fight this. I have SOLE custody and reasonable visitations (which means I have to approve when my ex can see him, we come to an agreement) well i sent the ex a 45 notice in the mail the other day, he just got it…he is IRATE! he is saying he is going to take me to court and take my son away. Here’s the deal, him and his girlfriend are having a baby (6 months pregnant) thing is, we havent even been divorced for 6 months…so thats adultery proof. my new husband has health insurance on my son, the ex couldnt even pay that. i just think he is going to be walking into a court room on one leg. whats the chance the judge wont let me go??? I’m in South carolina by the way.

  • JENNY

    WHAT IF IT’S THAT THE PARENT HAS 40 PERCENT AND IS GETTING MARRIED BUT NEW SPOUSE IS IN THE MILITARY ?

  • SingleMom

    I’m a single mother, never married the father of my child. we signed an agreement on our own that i get full custody of the child. He NEVER helped out with anything regarding my son. He’s irresponsible, asked him to take us to the pediatrician on a sunday morning, he decides to go out to drink and get drunk the night before. he threatened to kill us a few months ago in a car. he threatened to use a gun on me beginning of this year. he got a huge anger problem, was incarcerated for 5 years and still on parole… what can i do about this man? he’s not a part of me nor my child’s life, my son doesn’t KNOW who he is… is there anything i can do to have his name be taken off of my son’s birth certificate? and permanently change my son’s name??

    btw: this is from NYC, and the law over here is so messed up… even an abusive father gets visitation rights!! isn’t it all about the best interest of the child? so how is it the best for the child if he get to see his abusive father? i really don’t understand this law at all!!! Shouldn’t WE as a parent KNOW whats best for our children, instead of having an outsider (judge) to tell us what is best for them?

    • Amelia

      In a lot of states, if the father hasn’t had contact for 12 months OR hasn’t provided any support for 12 months, you can petition for the rights to be withdrew. Consult an attorney in your county, most attorneys will give a free consult. But if he has never been responsible for his child, you probably have a good chance of having his rights terminated.

  • Vamos

    I have been trying to figure out one thing. Which state has Jurisdiction when the custodial parent moves out of state. My ex wanted to move to Florida. We lived in MA all our lives. Long story short. I didnt want to break up my daughter living with her mom and her younger sisters (my ex got engaged and had two girls). It pained me to allow them to go but I did not want to put my daughter through anything. My ex and I made an agreement and it was entered into the court and accepted. Now she is not adhering to the terms of the agreement. She was suppose to pay for half my daughters ticket to fly up to Boston but she is not doing that anymore. I was also given the right to be able to claim my daughter on taxes from that point on and now she is going to claim her. I am trying to figure out if MA still has jurisdiction even though they have lived in FL for three years now. I am aware that MA has not adopted the UCCJEA but follows the UCCJA. I am just trying to figure out which state has jurisdiction to enforce the agreement. Please help.

    • Amelia

      If you still live in the same jurisdiction that the order was entered in, then that court should still have jurisdiction. If you have moved, I believe then that Florida would. Good luck!

  • Ramero

    My Fiance and I are having a child together. We plan on getting married in Idaho this December. She has in her parenting plan with her x husband 50/50 custody. He has not kept his end of the parenting plan and she has been logging everything down. He recently was incarcerated and does not seem to be a fit parent. What makes it difficult is I am in the Military and with all the benefits I can provide for my fiance, her son, and newborn, my question is will she be able to move to my new duty station (Washington) from Idaho?

  • Tammy

    My ex is a dead beat. We have been to court several times. In which the judge gave him supervised visits and has ordered him to see a counselor. He has not done.To make a long story short, I remarried and moved from AL to IN.I had talked to him about moving a few months in advance and I had sent a 45 day notice poir to moving. He agreed to not stop me from moving and to give up visitation as long as I did not go after him for child support. Now when I come down to visit my family he always shows up. What rights does he have? He doesn’t pay child-support.

  • Melissa

    I just regained custody of my children. My ex has only supervised visitation through his mother. He has a long criminal history and pays no child support. He has had a case plan because of drug use which he has not even attempted to complete in over 4 years. He is also still using drugs. I was awarded custody two counties away (approx. 1 hour and 15 minute drive). He keeps telling me set standards are that it is my responsibility to bring him the children. I am willing to go 1/2 way to drop them off and I arrange for them to get home without his help. Am I going about this wrong?

  • concern

    My questions is, I have recently found out that my husband is cheating on me and we have 4 children under the age of 12. If i was to leave to another state can anything bad happen to me or my children, as far as me getting in trouble. We have domestic violence in our past. He has threaten me to taking my kids away from me. What can I do???
    help !

  • Elizabeth Stewart

    unfortunately my sons sperm drone got joint custody 3 years ago and hasn’t seen my son at all now im married and my husband is being relocated (military) to Germany and i need full custody of my son to take him out the country now his bio father has not been there for him so my son dosnt know him my son knows my husband as his daddy no one else but his bio wont help parent or support just wants the bennift of being a dad with out the responsibility

  • Felicia

    I am in this situation and I have done everything I could to get my son back. I keep seeing the commissioners of the courts but they are not doing much. I see a judge here in a few days I hope she sees the problem here. I am just sad about this cause I have a very close relationship with my child and I do my best to call him every day even if I am busy or get side tracked with something I think of him and start to make a phone call. I hope it works out for me.

  • Cathy

    Im sorry your all going thru this. I fortunately didnt have that problem my kids were of age to decide on their own and told their father their were moving with me and that if he pushed to change that by going to court to delay “their move” they would never speak to him, i dont agree with their methods but they have spent years watching him sleep thru their visits or get given excuses as to why he cant do smething he promised, so i never bad mouthed him but they saw for himself what kind of man he was and they have a better relationship since we moved they speak constantely and he is making plans to see them this summer (unfortunately due to his track record they dont believe him).

    i do have a question… my fiance has a son in mass (we live in texas) before we moved my fiance tried repeatedly to see his son which his ex and her parents wouldnt let him at one point he was told that his son isnt his and that the child is someone elses and that she told their son that his father died, he questioned family members and as far as he could find out its true she really did tell her 10yr old that my fiance died. My fiance gave her money everyweek but gave her cash after we moved she filed for child support and said he didnt pay ever (he didnt recieve a letter to appear in court due to being in another state) so my fiance got a letter stateing that he owes ALOT of child support and that she wants to up his child support again by 25% (in mass you can request to get a 25% increase once a month every month if you want to) so my question is does my fiance have any rights? he calls but she wont let him talk to his son, and they are requesting almost 3/4 of his paycheck and if the increase goes thru they will get almost his whole paycheck. what can he do? all advice greatly appriciated! thank you

  • Alesa

    My son’s dad and i have mutually gotten along over my son’s last 5 years. He doesn’t pay child support and we have no civil or legal or custody agreements, however my son is with me most of the time and he see’s his dad on the weekends. I am in the process of trying to move back to my home town which would be a 2 hour drive for his dad (in the same state) how would I go about doing this is his Dad is telling me I can not? btw his dad currently lives an hour from me.

  • Kelly

    My children’s father has an older son and has not been able to see his son since we been together due to the mother not allowing it. (3years!) He was able to see him a few times out of the year or this last year, once! Well, his son’s mother left the country without telling him. He had to find out from one of her friends, he’s on the birth certificate, never had to pay child support, no court order about custody, but still has his rights as a father.. he never signed anything giving his permission to leave the country. She has all control over when he can see his son, she’ll call him so they can talk, will not give an address so his father can send him things. She won’t even provide him with a phone number, so here he is worrying everyday for his son’s safety. Is this considered kiddnapping???

  • Alexis

    I have a question. My boyfriend had 2 children from his previous marriage in Ohio. He lives in Florida now. the kids still live in Ohio with their mom. About 6 months ago they moved and didn’t inform them of where they live. She won’t let them talk to their dad and hes been with them every visitation he was allowed. She does call when she needs more money. He does pay child support. What can he do? He has made some calls and they say there is nothing. They have joint custody of the boys. Can anyone help?

  • keke

    Me and my have joint custody and kids leave with her in north Carolina o have visitation since I leave on VA my question is can my wife who I am seperated from get mad at me a stop the kids from calling me or answering my calls or text and emails

  • WhiteTiger

    I have a serious question. I have been divorced for several years, but was financially stuck living with my ex for a number of years in a fake relationship. The Divorce was bitter and nasty and changed my physiology permanently, among other things. What I did get from this was sole physical custody and the right to move and live any where in the world, despite geographic location (specified in the divorce papers), but we share joint custody in the say of all matters outside of that. He also has the standard type of visitation rights.

    Out of the blue, I met and married this wonderful man in Germany and I plan on moving there when I can to be with him. They have an amazing educational and health system. He spent 6 years completely ignoring, neglecting and emotionally abusing us but not I am almost free from his emotional and physically neglectful tyranny.

    The last 2 month, since he has picked up his latest gf, he is pretending to be like he used to be, the perfect partner/super mate/super dad. I am deeply concerned, just let us go… please… but his family dictates to him what he should do and does and he does it to maintain face. His lies to his entire family have to be maintained somehow… I talked to my attorney and she said, you have permission to go any where at any time based on my previous mentioned note in the custody. I am am not abducting my own child I have full rights to, to live anywhere in the world with but I am still nervous and afraid of complications. I want my child, my new husband and myself to be a real and complete, happy family. No one knows what my ex is or is capable of but me behind all their backs. Any advice from an attorney or someone going through something similar, that knows the legal system, I greatly look forward to any comments. Thank you for your time.

  • seanandizzysmommy

    My boyfriend has 2 boys that have been in his custody in california for almost 2 years. He is still legally married in nebraska with the mother who let him bring the boys to california to live. They have no custody system or anything in place so my question is what happens if the mother shows up out of the blue to take the boys to nebraska for christmas. And tells us she’s gonna have them back in time for school in the new year but doesn’t bring them back???? Whatrights does he have since for the last year and a half he’s been sole caretaker she calls but never came to visit hasn’t sent money to support them what can he do??? We also have a daughter together if that matters any

  • Angela

    What if you live out of state with your child and the child was going twice a year to be with the father for the last 6 years and the parents were never married and never went to court for anything about the child and now father decides not to send child back home with mother where the child had been residing for the 6 years what can the mother do then to get child back

    • Amelia

      You will have to file a petition for custody in your county and do everything to prove that the child has been living with you for the majority of the time. Unfortunately, because there wasn’t a court order already, you didn’t legally have custody, and now you will have to take him to court and prove that you were the primary care giver. Gather school records, doctor records, anything that shows that your child was with you the majority of the time. Good luck.

  • Bibi

    I’m a single mom of three (13,7 and 4) living in Florida They both dad’s sing the Birth Cert. and there’s a child support order for my oldest son and he goes every year to Puerto Rico to visit his dad. For my youngest sons,his dad send money every month (not court ordered) but doesn’t see them in the last 2 years,he lives in New York and he can’t travel because his migratory situation.Now that i’m going to marry,i need to travel and move to Peru with my new husband,because he works over there and as a family we want to be together. But off course neither of my kids father’s agree on that,staying that is a dangerous country and something could happened to my kids. They doesn’t even complaint about the distance,or that they can’t see them if i move.What chances do i have to be granted by a judge for the moving? I also want to add that i never marry my kids father’s and there’s no custody or visitation ordered by any court.What about if they go to court? just because at their eyes the country that im going to move to is “dangerous” the judge can order me to not take my kids? I meant,this is so unfair,i’m the one taking care off my kids 24/7 and can’t make any legal decisions over them? What steps do i need to follow now?

    • Amelia

      Depending on the state that you are in, just the fact that they never even petitioned the court for visitation could be looked down on by the judge. You may not even need permission or a court order, since there are no other existing orders. You should definitely consult an attorney in your county just to make sure, but if there is no orders, you are not disobeying them by moving. If you do end up having to go to court, build a strong case as to why moving would improve their lives, but be prepared to prove it, as it is your burden. You will have to prove it financially, show how the schools are great, your residence is great, etc, etc.

  • Bibi

    Oh my god,reading your post,im afraid that the same thing can happened to me,since i don’t have any custody agreement by court,i just trust in my sons dad and send him every summer with him.That happened to somebody that i know,after months she got her daughter back,but she hire a lawyer.The thing in this cases are that because there’s no court order,both parents have the same rights over the kid.Try at least to have a free consultation with a lawyer that way you know where you are walking on.I wish you the best of the lucks!

  • brandy

    Question…. My brother gets his son every wednesday and everyother weekend pays childsupport now his ex girlfriend who has now got married to someone in the army and has now said she is moving to TEXAS they go to court on the 16 of this month Jan.. Can she does this?? he loves his son this is so unfair and she meet the guy on facebook like 8 months ago just needs to some ideas thanks everyone we are in NC

    • Amelia

      She can do that if she can prove in court that it will be an improvement in her son’s life. However, it is her burden to prove it, and in some states it is extremely hard to get a petition granted to remove a child from the state, especially if it will disrupt visitiation with the other parent. Your brother needs to build a strong case as to why he couldn’t maintain a satisfactory relationship with his child if he moves. Let us know how it turned out, please.

  • Michael

    Question.. My X lives in another state, Due to reasons I do not wish to state, we wound up seperating, I have lived with my son for 5 years up until middle of last year. Last night my she wanted to talk to me and stated that she had wanted to setup a will stating that if anything happened to our child would be placed in the hands of the family she has been living with and has known for less then a year. She does not want my family or me, or her family at all to recieve custody of the child. I have also found out due to other means that after I told her I would challenge that if that scenario ever occured, she had contacted a lawyer about finding out how to remove my custodial and visitation rights completely. What can I do to prevent this? I help support our child to the best of my financial ability. I pay for his clothing, child care, and anything else that comes up. No child support is set up because she does not want to have her social services possibly changed and my name is also on the Birth Cert. I am listed as the father in all documents from Doctors, hospitals, schools, church, and so on. So far I have yet to find a family lawyer that has knowledge to help in this situation.

    • Amelia

      Document the support you send, and see your child frequently. If you are an involved parent, and can prove it, a judge will not grant that for her. However, if you go a month or two at a time without any contact, it becomes less difficult to have it granted. Just be sure to document the support and visitation and stay as involved as possible. Good luck.

  • babyboy2010

    I have a question.. I am a single parent never was married.. we have only court order for child support. Nothing for visitation. i have 100% parent time. Does this mean i can do anything without telling him like move to a different county not state? can he keep me from moving or doing anything? He only sees his child when its convient for him. Hes in and out of his life constantly its ridiculous and sad.

    • brandy

      im not sure the laws where u live but u hve to give notice to the nc parent b4 any move n i think tht the most to happen if brought to court is adjusting the support payments or work out a 50/50 travel arrangement to make the cost of driving fair to both of u

  • sos

    We have the opposite problem of many of the comments listed, my fiances x-wife of five years is giving him a hard time because he is moving 15 miles further away from her and this will be an inconveince to her. She is demanding that she comes to our home to look around and discuss with me my daily activities. We are considering getting an attorney as we think she is off her rocker.

  • BG

    Does anyone know what the laws are when the custodial parent moves to another state, if the laws would be the same..for example, my daughter is 18 and in the state of Nebraska she is not considered an adult until 19, therefore I am still paying support. They are moving to PA, so would I no longer have to pay support?
    Thank you for any help!

    • Amelia

      Your child support payments would follow the model in the state that they were ordered, so, they would not change. You could potentially petition the court in PA after they have lived there for six months, but by that time, she may be 19 anyway.

  • step mama

    I have read through all of your questions… and I understand that it is hard on the custodial parent… but I am at the other end of this spectrum. My husband has a daughter that lives in another state. We did live in that state for the first year of her life and the mother was extremely difficult when it came to vistitation. Well when it came down to our decision to move out of state, it was either move in with his family, or live with nothing with 3 children of our own. As soon as the mother heard we were planning to move, she informed us that we wouldn’t the child again. It has been around 3 years. My husband has tried very hard to keep up on his support, and to contact his daughter. But everytime he gets a working number and calls, the mother hangs up on him. We have received one picture of her in these past years.. and the only other messages to us from the mother has been about child support. We recently found the mother on facebook and he has contacted her leaving her our phone number and address.. but her response was no… what should he do? He loves our children very much and works his self to death to take care of all 4 of them. He only wants to have some sort of bond with his daughter, but it isn’t going so well in his attempts. Any have any advice?

    • Amelia

      If there is an existing court ordered visitation schedule, ask the court to help enforce it. If there is not, petition the court for one, and if she doesn’t follow it, she can be charged with contempt of court, in most states.

  • Tifft

    I’m trying to work out a parenting plan with my child father in missouri. I relocated to alabama with my husband who is active duty. He doesn’t want to let me have every spring break. All other holidays are acceptable. Is this resonable for me not to get spring break every year?

    • Amelia

      Yes. You have to take into account what his visitation would be like if you lived close enough for frequent visitation, and how many days a year he would get then. If he would get 100 days, for example, the best practice is to make sure that he gets 100 days if you live far apart. This generally means that the non custodial parent will get longer more infrequent visits, such as the entire summer, and all of spring break. I know it can be hard, but remember that it is important for children to have frequent, consistent contact with both parents.

  • liona

    I have sole physical custody and joint legal custody of our daughter. I have remarried and had a baby with my new husband. My husband is in the millitary. He recently got stationed in OR. I currently live in CA. I have requested a move away to a better house and wonderful schools and over all environment and the father has filed a counter arguement wanting sole legal custody of our daughter. he has moved in with his girlfriend in a two bedroom trailer with her two brothers that are 22 years old and her 7 year old daughter. We have a history of domestic violence in which he ended up in jail and has also been accused of rape by an ex girl friend in which he ended up in jail yet again. He was a reservest in the millitary but I honestly dont know if he is even in the millitary anymore. Hes on probation and cant leave the city. Another thing is that our daughter never wants to go with him. When ever I ask her why she never wants to go with him she tells me that he spanks her.I feel awful every time I have to obligate her to to with him. We have an existing visitaion order.Its soo bad that she actually preffers my husband as her dad than her biological father. How do I get through this??? How can I have a successful move so that my daughter can have a better life in our new big house in which she will have her own room and bonus play room. where she will have her mommy daddy and baby sister.

    • Amelia

      In most states, if you can prove that it will be a general betterment of the quality of her life, and yours, the judge will likely grant you a petition to remove her from the state. However, be prepared to prove it because the burden will be on you. Have financial proof, proof of good schools, a better house, etc, etc. The Court may assign her a guardian ad litem, who will decide on her behalf what is in her best interest and report to the court. If your daughter tells him/her that she doesn’t like going to her dads and why, depending on her age also, the chances of him gaining custody are very slim. Best of luck!

  • Stressed Parent

    My former husband was given full custody of my daughter in MA he moved to Ohio with her with my verbal permission in 2010 I moved to North Carolina and he sent her to me in 2010 another verbal agreement because she was so out of control with her behavior He came to North Carolina 1/13/2012 and took her back to Ohio without my consent Is this parental kidnapping? Who do I contact? PLEASE HELP
    I filed for Child Support in 12/2011 This was the direct cause of his action

    • Amelia

      Wow, there are a lot of factors here, but if I’m not mistaken, your original custody order is probably void since you, your ex, and your daughter don’t live there anymore, as long as you’ve all been gone six months or longer, so, you can petition for a new custody hearing in Ohio. Unfortunately, because your agreement was only verbal, there is very little you can do legally about him taking her back. How old is she? A lot of states give heavy consideration to the child’s preference to mature children. I would consult an attorney in Ohio, and see what your options might be. You may be able to file in North Carolina since you have strong ties there, but those are all questions you would need to ask an attorney. Best of luck!

      • Amelia

        Or, you could petition the court in MA since he never got a court order to move out of state, but you may still need to be a resident of that state.

  • Jo Dee

    My ex an I broke up because he cheated.
    I found out after I was six weeks pregnant……currently five months.
    If I move to another country can he stop me as our child has yet to be born.
    Also what country would have jurisdiction?

  • Mother

    My husband and I are filing for a divorce/child visitation. He has recently moved in with a girlfriend that he has known for less than a month. How will visitation work?

  • Ongerena

    I am planning on moving from Arizona to Florida this summer. I have sole and legale custody of my child. Given that biological father has never taken me to court to get any visitation rights. (Basically father is not in the picture). However, he does pay court ordered child support. How will this affect my moving? Do I need to do anything?

  • tony

    i am a non-custodial parent. the mom lives about an hr away but has not filed for child support, and is using our daughter as a weapon against me. she doesnt want to go to court for visitation and i want to be a part of my daughters life as much as i can but she makes it very difficult for me. she is unstable, slightly mentally retarded, and dependent on everyone else for everything. the environment is unstable b/c she moves back and forth between ark and okla. while revieving ark food stamps and having a legal residence in ark, she stays in okla. she also has depression and a history with suicide. she takes no responsibility and will not get a job, or try and get her license. i am in a stuck situation b/c i cant afford an attorney but i make to much for pro-bono. she will not give me any info about a birth cerificate. i dont know what to do. she lets me see my daughter but holds it over my head to get what she wants or says i cant see my daughter b/c she is mad at me. she is spitefull and revengefull. i need help!

    • Amelia

      If you are on the birth cerificate, you can go to the courthouse and buy a copy, if you are not, you can petition whatever agency it is in your state to file for paternity, which doesn’t necessarily mean that you will have to pay child support, only that you will be placed on the birth certificate, either after voluntarily confirming paternity, or a DNA test, and the good part is, in most cases the state will pay for it. You don’t necessarily need a lawyer to go to court, just make sure you document everything she does very thoroughly, keep a journal, if you are wanting to get primary custody. If you are only wanting visitation, once you establish paternity, simply petition the court for visitation. She would have to prove that you are unfit, in most states, for it not to be granted. You can google it, but there are other resources besides traditional attorneys that are much cheaper, or, if there is a university with a law school close, a lot of times the law students and instructors will do pro bono work for the experience. Good luck

  • FL Mom

    I live in Florida. I had a job offer in NC. My ex refuses to speak about relocation. My current job has offered me a transfer to AL. The shared parenting schedule says that a relocation is ok if it’s within 50 miles. Would I still have to address the court because the 50 miles would take me over the FL state line? I checked the statute and there are no specifics. It just says that relocation is allowed within 50 miles.

  • Tiffany

    Ok so I have been split up with the father of my two children for about 6 months. We for the most part share custody and I dont make him pay child supoport. But we have both bee talking about moving to different states I have the opportunity to move to Florida from Michigan and he has mentioned on several occasions moving to Florida himself. But now that I am interested in going there he’s trying to hold me back. I have full custodial and legal custody of our kids and I was wondering if there is any way I could legally leave without involving the courts.

  • Stressed Student

    Im a student in NC and 8 months pregant. The baby father is a resident of NC and we are not married. I want to move back to NY with my child to live. How do i handle this? What custodial rights does the father have? Can I move back to NY with my child?

  • luvingstepmom

    Does anyone know what can be done if the custodial parent continually threatens and sometimes actually does.keep the child from the other parent both via phone and in oerson when they.get mad.or upset at NC parent/spouse? It is nothing to do with the well being of child. Parents were never married. The father petitioned the mother back to the state did paternity and has never missed paying child support , also drives six to eight hours one way to see the child each minth dor the past ten years. The mother threatens and uses.child against.the father and has stated if he would leave.the wife then the problems would go away claiming fault to the wife. What can be done ?

    • Amelia

      Is there a court ordered visitation schedule? If so, in most states, the mother withholding visitation can be charged with contempt of court. I don’t recall you saying in which state this occurs, but dad needs to make sure that he takes his copy of his court order when going for visitation, and if mom doesn’t allow it, call the police. It depends, again, on the laws of the state, but I know in some states, after three visitation interruptions, the custodial parent can be charged with a felony. It is important to document it, contact the police for documentation, and ask the judge to charge her with contempt. Consult a lawyer in your county to find out exactly what you need to do. Good luck!

  • brandy

    i hve 3 children the father has been out of their lives over 80% of the time we was never married n i have provided full support to them their whole lives he never sees them n does nothing for them n if they r lucky he will come on a holiday but tht even is rare now i wish to move to another country how do i go about this move… does he still have the right to say i cant go with the kids? and if so how will this play out in court?

  • Nick

    I am not divorced and live in Wisconsin..Husband wants me and his two kids to move to Texas by his family..who don’t like me thanks to culture etc…We are on the rocks and I am afraid I will be stuck in Texas if it doesn’t work out..Can I be protected somehow if I choose to relocate for him..and it fails and I want to move back?..Help

  • Becca

    Sarah, please email me with more info about custodial parent moving state to state. Husband is trying to enforce visitation but can’t find her to do it. I believe she has NEVER contacted the court when she has moved the last four times in three years.

  • Mike C

    Need help!!!! I was granted sole custody of my daughter because my ex didn’t want to be involved in the divorce. Her lack of cooperation lead to me receiving full custody. Prior to the divorce paper work being filled she packed up all my things and took the kids to Texas while I was at work one day, after she did that is when I filed for divorce. So I was granted full custody in Ohio but she has my daughter in Texas and I’m not sure how to get my daughter. I called the police in the county she supposedly lives in and they told me they won’t escort me to get my child without a writ? But I called the court in her county in Texas and they said all i needed was my divorce papers and the cops should help me enforce the custody. I’m really confused I havent seen my little girl since March 2011 and I really just want to be in her life, her mother is upset that I want nothing to do with her and have moved on with my life. I guess if I don’t want her then I don’t want my child? this is so dumb! Please Help if you can..Thanks

    • Amelia

      Have you petitioned the judge that entered the order to issue an arrest warrant for your ex? If you were granted custody, the same court should still have jurisdiction, which would allow for that. Definitely consult a lawyer, but it shouldn’t be a problem. Or, if the court in Texas is saying all you need is your divorce papers, petition them for an arrest warrant, one or the other of the courts should issue one, no problem. My husband just went through the same thing. His daughter was in Texas, but an Illinois court has jurisdiction. The judge ordered an arrest warrant and two days later, his daughter was returned.

  • Tiffany

    I am about to get married to a guy that is in the military I do not have a custody or visitation agreement with my son’s father. If I was to move to another state could I be Charged with kidnapping? My son’s father is in and out of his life. I should say more out then in. What steps should I take to make sure I am doing everything legal?

    • Amelia

      Definitely consult an attorney to verify the laws in your state (most attorneys will do a free consultation to help determine if you need to retain them), but if there is not court order, and you can prove that he is out more than in, you probably don’t need a court order to move. In order for him to gain a court ordered visitation schedule, he will have to petition the court for one, and it doesn’t sound like he will probably do that, but I don’t know him. Just make sure to verify the law in your state with an attorney, it should be a quick, easy conversation if there are no court orders.

    • ann

      a very grate man is here on the internet i will advise that you meet with him to explain your problem to him he is so great

  • atlastwhits

    My fiances ex moved away to Kansas and left his three girls behind with her mother for the summer when we were supposed to have them. She then came back after a month and moved all three girls up there. We are all from Texas so this is a long trip. My fiance called the cs office and requested lower payments because of her moving. She just moved back to txas and we just recieved a supena for court. He is attending school and working part time. Will the judge take into consideration that she moved them without the request of the father and still lower his payments. He is trying to better himself for his girls. She doesn’t even allow us to pick them up on the days that are enforced through visitation rights. His girls don’t even want to see him anymore because of all the things their mother has put in thier heads? What can we do? He loves his girls but they don’t know him anymore because of all the moving games, phone number changing, and her not allowing him to pick them up. And is it true that @ 13 yrs old, the child can choose whether she wants to visit on visitstion days or not? My fiance is depressed at all of this. He’s even come to just giving up rights to them. I’ve convinced him that it is not their fault and not his. He can’t give up. Any advice. We really need it.

    • Amelia

      Has he petitioned the court in the state where the visitation order is for contempt of court for her not following the order? If there is an order, in most states, she can be in trouble for not getting a court order to remove the children. Depending on the child support model in your state, that will determine how much he pays. If he has taken a pay cut and it was for a valid reason, he can petition to have it reduced, but he can’t get it reduced simply because she moved. He should consult an attorney, (most attorneys will do a free consultation, or if he is low income, contact legal aid) to see what he can do about her violating the court order. In a lot of states, this can potentially sway a judge’s preference for custody to the parent who was denied visitation.

  • InLimbo

    I have a 14 year old daughter who is wanting to relocate with me to another state. During my divorce I asked for this relocation (better schools, better job etc.) The parenting plan I provided actually allowed her father more time with her than his proposed plan. He explained to the courts that he loved and cared for his daughter and they would not be able to have a meaningful relationship if we lived in a different state.

    Since June 2011 he has not seen his daughter. He has not called her for the holidays, birthday nor exercised his visitation. According to the divorce decree it states “Both parents are hereby ordered to abide by the parenting plan”.

    I am engaged now, back in school to get my degree and preparing for a better future for my daughter and myself,

    I have recently sent the relocation letter to him, waiting upon his reply (if any) in accordance to the MO Statute and the divorce decree. I guess my question is anybody our there know of a judge reversing a ruling because he has become an absent father and obviously did this to get back at me.

    • Amelia

      I don’t know about Missouri, but in a lot of states, the Court takes a lot of consideration into absenteeism. If he is not exercising his visitations, most judges look down on that, and when you petition for a removal from state, they look into the contesting parents intentions. So, if the only reason he is contesting is just to get to you, it is likely that a judge would grant your petition, especially since your daughter wishes to go with you. Good luck.

  • amilita927

    i have a question, my daughters father had just recieved a drug charge against him for possession, i have well over 27 police reports against him for abuse against me and harassment, had a restraining order put against him for only me not my child. I plan to move out of state, where my boyfriend currently lives and we are expecting a child together. Mean while my daughters father is refusing to sign anything to allow me to move even though there is no court ordered child support or visitation. Could i possibly move out of state with everything i have against him and still allow him to have visitation? i need some help on this asap… please and thank you

    • amilita927

      if anyone has any information to help me out i would appreciate it because my boyfriend and i where i would be moving out of state are expecting and he cannot leave his job but i can transfer

      • Amelia

        I would definitely consult an attorney in your county, which most lawyers will do a free consultation to help you decide if you need to retain them, but if there is not court ordered visitation, he really can’t stop you, until he petitions for visitation (or at least in most states, I don’t recall you saying which state you are in). If there is no order, you are not legally interrupting visitation or a custody schedule. And with all that you have on him, a judge will most certainly grant you primary custody. Just make sure to ask a lawyer in your state, but it sounds to me like you have nothing stopping your from moving, at least nothing legally.

  • Mimi

    I have a question! I live in p.a and I want to relocate to fl. With my boys of 7 months. Obviously father does not approve of me leaving with the children. Hes really giving me a hard time with all this. Now I was asked to write a relocation letter and give it to him. He doesn’t pay any child support or give me anything for the children since they were born. Now my question is, I was told that this can go to trial if he doesnt approve, which he doesn’t. What are my chances of the judge letting me move?

    • amilita927

      well i talked to my attorny and according to him because im going through the same thing that as long as you are moving to better your life via another spouse, job oppertunity or a fresh start to better their education there should be no problem due to 9 our of 10 times the child(ren) go to the mother, you can go after child support even moving and you can both split the costs to transfer for visitation, but that means every other year you can claim the child(ren), you both have to agree on something and you will need an attorny for this.if he does not want anything to do with the child(ren) he can sign over his rights, or you both can have an attorny present to come to an agreement. after he is served with papers he has 30 days to deny the request which you would have to file with the attorny to continue the court date or court case. if he has any convictions, police reports against him from you, or history of drug use, you will have a better chance. but best bet would to be contact a lawyer or see if there is one the court can give you to support your case, if theres any abuse call adv/sas and they can get one for you as well with no charge

  • Alysia P.

    Ok my situation! I have a 2 year old boy with a guy from MT. I had my baby in WA state and I informed this guy while I was pregnant and after I had him that he was the father. He denied the whole situation. At this time I was dealing with CPS in WA and they were trying to track him down for paternity. He didn’t do paternity til my son was 20 months old and I had been cps free for 5 months by this time and I had moved to ND. As soon as he got the results back and was ordered to pay child support and demanded that I let him have every other week visitation for the whole week alone, my son never knew him. Anyways I told him he would figure something out. He freaked and threatened to take me to court and use all my prior cps stuff against me. So I started taking my son to see his father in MT as much as I could. So than he didn’t take me to court. In Sept. 2011 my living situation wasn’t the greatest so i packed up my 2 boys and we moved to CO to live with my grandma. I just wanted what’s best for my kids and this move was appropriate. The whole time we’ve been here we have made it up to MT 1 time and I took my son to see his father while we were there. He keeps saying he wants to see his son, but puts it all on me and I have low income and no vehicle and can’t go up there when its convienent for his father to see his son. And I tell him he can come and see his son as much as he wants cause I think It’s important that he does and he never comes. He says he will call he never does. It’s frustrating. Now I’ve decided to prusue a relationship his father doesn’t like that and tells me It’s not a good idea to have another man around his son if I’m not thinking about marrying this guy and he doesn’t like this whole situation where his son is in Co and him in MT and me dating a guy. He said he wants his son for a month and he thinks our son at this age its appropriate. His son doesn’t know him, due to his father not putting effort to see him. I need advice. What am I doing wrong and what should I do? I’m making all the right efforts and choices to be a good and affective parent to my 2 y/o son.

  • Celia

    My husband ex gf wants to move 90 miles away to her boyfriend w her daughter. My husband has shared custody w her. the ex gf has primary custody.. Can she move? what is the judge will do ??

    • Amelia

      It depends on the laws in your state, so he should definitely consult an attorney, but, in my state, if she is moving, but is still in the state, she is allowed without a court order. However, if he has court ordered visitation, and she wishes to move out of state, she must get a court order. If she is able to maintain the same visitation schedule and she is staying in the state, the judge will probably not modify a custody/visitation order, unless there is reason to believe the child will be harmed by the move.

  • Joy

    I live in NJ and have a 7yr son. shared custody. We live in the same town, yet my son goes to school from my house mon thru thurs. and ex drives pick ups thurs. after school and fridays to and from bus stop at my house. im looking to move to FL with family. can i move out of nj to fl with my son because i cannot afford to live here. recently had a baby two months ago, unemployed with no income what so ever, about to be evicted and homeless, tried to apply for housing ass. but was denied because of shared custody with my 7yr. old. What can i do?

  • Fledmom

    My husband was stationed in El Paso Texas. I left him and went back to Pennsylvania with the children. The cops said it wasn’t illegal or kidnapping, I was the mother. We were still married and there was no custody assigned. I also had a 90 day ofp preventing him from seeing the children.

  • Dad & Mom of 2

    My husband’s baby mama was living in our city for the first 3 years of our daughter’s life. Halfway through last year, she had been talking about moving to Maine, but my husband and I told her we didn’t like that. She said that it’s better for her and her girls for them to move out there. One day when both my husband and I were working double shifts, she packed their bags and moved – didn’t let our daughter say goodbye to theirs (our girls are 2 months apart). She has left her family here, does not work or go to school there. She has only come down for one week since June of 2011, and that was because we had driven up there and brought her girls down for a visit. My husband pays child support every week. We feel what she did was wrong. Do we have rights, and what would be the next step ? We are hiring a lawyer and petitioning for custody.

    • Amelia

      Does he have a court ordered visitation schedule? In many states, if there is a court order, she cannot remove the children without a court order, and can be held in contempt of court and/or charged with child abduction. However, if there is not court order, his only recourse may be to get a visitation schedule now for longer, infrequent visitations, over school breaks and such.

  • hipichic

    I have custody of my 2 children, with my ex having visitation rights. I have remarried a Canadian & wish to move to Toronto from Tennessee. My ex & I agreed on him having the kids for a year, then me, then him, etc. I am currently in Canada while the kids are with him in Tennessee. I visit often & the kids have expressed that they are unhappy living with him & want to be with me. His turn with the kids runs out in July. Recently, he stated that he doesn’t intend to let me take the kids out of the country. I don’t know what to do. My new husband has a great job, we have rooms for the kids & the kids will definitely have more opportunities in Canada for school & other interests. If he will not let the kids move, everything is ruined. We never amended the parenting plan when we made our agreement, so nothing is in writing. I am worried that I now have to choose between moving back to Tennessee to be with my kids or leave my kids & be with my husband in Canada. There are no job opportunities for me in Tennessee (I was laid off & on unemployment when I left for Canada), so I do not want to live there. I just want to bring my kids with me to Canada. My ex, until our new arrangement, saw the kids infrequently, rarely according to the parenting plan & the kids barely knew him (which is why I gave him the opportunity to stay with him for awhile). Now, I fear I’ve messed up my chances to get my kids back. He is making it seem like I abandoned my kids & that he is the better parent because he didn’t leave them (although he moved to Texas for 2 years & saw them a couple of times during the 2 years). Does anyone have any advice for me? I’m torn & just don’t know what to do. My kids want to be with me & I want to be with them. I also want to be with my husband. Help!

  • jjemommy

    if my ex-husband takes the kids for six weeks this summer can he leave the kids with a live-in-girlfriend if he has to travel for work? i do not want my kids with someone they don’t know in a new town/state if their father is not physically there with them. thanks!

    • Amelia

      In most states, while the children are in the non-custodial parent’s care, it is their discretion as to child care, much as it is their discretion as to entertainment and how time is spent. In most cases, the only way to stop it is to prove that she is unfit and potentially a danger to your children.

  • Juliete

    Hi there , my ex and I share custody or our 9 year old daugther and since our divorce I had try to get let her move with me to TX where my whole family lives , I re married and my husband got a great job offer in tx which will make our lives a lot better economically stable giving my child the opportunity to enjoy a better life , I have another son and one on the way and I’m really sad I’m not been able to move with my gilr , after trying many time to tell the judge and my ex I never win , so I had decided after lots of thinking and crying that I will have to leave her with him , he is ok , also re-married and have other kids but i’m afraid that if i leave her he will try to keep her away , what should I do , I’m so depress ,I’m a good mother but i feel sooo sad because I don’t know what to do ??

    • Amelia

      Before you move, make sure you have a court ordered visitation schedule. In most states, if he fails to comply, it gives you strong preference for custody.

  • margaret

    i live in delaware county pennsylvania. my ex is remarried and living a new life about 20 mins. away. i want to relocate 35 mins away in new jersey to be with my significant other whoi have been with for 2yrs now. he can not move here because of his employement.i have offered to keepthe visitation schedule the same and transport our children back here for his time with them and come back to get them when its over.my ex husband says he will fight it if i try to move he has several times tried for custody but hasnt won yet. i dont know what to do i dont want to loose custody of my kids but this may mean giving up on a new start to my life.my ex has started over and i had no say but he still controls my life.

  • casey campbell

    My ex wife remarried and her knew husband wants to move about 120 miles away.I get my boys ages 4 & 10 every Wednesday till Friday afternoon. In our divorce we have joint legal and physical custody and she’s required to give me 90 days notice prior to moving.I was told 2 weeks ago they are moving in 4 weeks.she wants me to change our schedule for me to take off 6 days a month to where I only get my babies every other weekend.we live in south Carolina ,can she do this?

  • Megan F

    What if the Custodial Parent has Sole Physical Legal custody of the Child and the Non Custodial Parent HAs “NO” Rights/Visitation unless he brings me back to court????

  • jacki

    I have a question that I can’t seem to find the answer to. My daughters father and I were never married, never have even been to court for custody or visitation in Ohio were we lived originally. I now am living in pa with my fiance who is a police officer, my daughters father who has been in and out of jail and in and out of her life, and also owes our daughter 5,000 in child support, can he make us move back? Or do anything legally since I’m already moved?

  • Jessica

    My husband has 2 daughters from a previous relationship. They were never married and have never gone to court to set up a parenting plan, all of these decisions were made mutually without the input of the court. He pays child support for both daughters every month, has them 3 days a week every week and picks up his oldest (5) every day from school and takes her to day care. Now, with that being said, we recently found out about a man in her life who she is engaged to. She has known him for about 3 months and is planning on getting married in Hawaii in October. Just yesterday we found out that he not only went to jail but was sent back to Oregon (we live in Montana) due to violating his parole order (he is not allowed to leave the state of Oregon while on parole). We are concerned that she is going to try and move to Oregon to be with him. If she does this, does my husband get sole custody of his girls? (we have heard this through the grape vine).

    • Amelia

      I don’t know about any of the laws in Montana necessarily, but in Illinois, where I live, he would need to get a visitation order for him to even have a leg to stand on if she moves. Without one she is not disrupting anything, legally, and will probably be free to move. If I were him, I would consult an attorney immediately and at least get an order on record so that he does have court ordered visitation.

  • Melissa

    I have joint legal sole physical of my now 16 yr she was 3 at the time of divorse. Her father moved to VA back in 2000 and we have been very agreeable on time 2 weeks or more in VA for vacation with him. He is getting a job closer to us now about 5 hours away instead of 11 hrs away and now she is asking to move in with him for Junior and Sr. year. I was preparing myself for after graduation however she has already talked to a school counsler about credits and now is asking me permission. She says “its to be raised differently.” I think it will mess up or put a wrench in her college plans if she moves. She is in the marching band and she was going to try out for dumb major or section leader for her jr and sr yr but if she moves she is going to loose that chance with a new band that will have to get to know if they even have a band. I don’t know what the school are like in Chiago area so I am a bit spectical about the whole move. I don’t want to upset her or her dad by saying not until she is out of HS but legally I was awarded custody until she was of age. But I say no will she run away or be a bad kid I don’t think so just bitter toward me. Can you advise me please on what I need to do. I am willing to drive her half way all the way some weekends if that helps.

    • Amelia

      Do you live in Illinois? If yes, and of course consult an attorney, but judges give strong prefererntial consideration to mature children, meaning, if she wants to live with her dad, and has even semi-valid reasons for it, the judge is likely to judge in her favor. The older the children are, the more a judge will take into consideration her preference.

  • Emily

    I am planning to move to Pennsylvania from florida with my son there is no support visitation in effect with his father and he is not on the birth certificate but has a paternity test saying he is the father. I am the custodial parent am I allowed to leave?

    • Amelia

      You should, of course, consult an attorney in your state (most lawyers will do a free consult to help you determine if you should retain their services), but if there is no court order, you shouldn’t have a problem, as you are not disrupting his custody. Until he petitions for visitation, or you petition for child support, there won’t be an order, and if you already live in a different state when an order is entered, visitation will be arranged to suit that situation. Good luck.

  • Amelia

    Definitely consult an attorney to verify the laws in your state (most attorneys will do a free consultation to help determine if you need to retain them), but if there is not court order, and you can prove that he is out more than in, you probably don’t need a court order to move. In order for him to gain a court ordered visitation schedule, he will have to petition the court for one, and it doesn’t sound like he will probably do that, but I don’t know him. Just make sure to verify the law in your state with an attorney, it should be a quick, easy conversation if there are no court orders.

  • Isis Vichot

    My daughters biological father and I seperated when she was 3 months old because he was just a jerk. My whole pregnancy with her he was very violent when I was 8 months pregnant he tried running me over I filed a police report but chose not to press charges . After I left him when my daughter was 3 1/2 months old. When she was 4 1/2 months old he attacked me after class threw my books on the floor stole my ring when walking to my car he slammed me against the wall and started to choke me till a professor saw and ordered him to leave me alone when I was driving home he was tailgating me trying to run me off the road I called the cops who guided me to a shopping center where a officer was waiting for me since that day he was arrested for domestic violence strong arm robbery entrapment and assault he was given a pretrial diversion program which e had to do classes an after he was off the hook. When my daughter was 6 months I started dating my best friend when she was 2 I got remarried and found out I was pregnant her father hasn’t been in her life since she was 3 1/2 months I’ve always sent pictures tryed involving him but he’s to busy with his party life drugs and alcohol . When he foun out I was pregnant he put an order for visitation with my daughter to make my life hell he said we’ve been in the process for a year now our first court hearing was continued because I gave birth 2 days before and the second he was arrested in the court room for threatening to hire someone to prevent me from making it to court on Facebook he posted this and my attorney had him arrested for threatening my life. The charged were droppe because there’s no laws over cyber bullying. My husband now has been offered a position in Chicago with better pay and better benefits and with our case still pending I don’t know what to do. He’s never been in her life and still shows no interest it’s as he’s doing this all to make my life miserable. My daughter shakes and cries at the sound of his name and started to pee her bed and not sleep when my husband and I started talking to her about him. I don’t know what to do I feel like I’m not taken seriously ecause I’m only 22 but this move would be a big help financially . What should I do or what can happen with him not having a relationship with her ? Please help

  • Brien

    My kids told me when I picked them up this weekend that they moved to another town and changed schools a week earlier. She is required by orders to give me 30 days notice. She emailed me Monday, 3 days AFTER the move that she intends on moving in 4 weeks. My lawyer was also copied on that email. She gave an address she plans on moving to, which is the one she is now living in. She did this a year ago also, which is why I had the 4 week notice ammended to my orders. She moved but said she was planning to move after she did so. Then 2 months later she says she moved so it appeared she gave me proper notice even though she had already been living there for 2 months at that point. So now I suspect she will do the same, since she sent the email saying she was planning on moving in a month but already has. In a month or 2 I will get an email saying she has moved. So can she be charged with anything for this?

  • Brien

    When I picked up my kids this weekend for my vistation, they told me they had just moved last week and changed schools. My ex sent me and email this Monday, 3 days after she moved the prior Friday, saying she intends on moving sometime soon and gave an address she was looking at. This address is the one she moved to, but is saying she is still looking and hasn’t moved so she can comply with the 30 day notice requirement I had added last year to our orders. I had this added because a year ago she did the same thing. She moved in March over spring break but didn’t notify me or the court until June saying she had just moved at the end of school. So they told her if she moved again, she now would need to give me 30 days notice. So she sends this email saying she plans on moving, even though she already has, and I suspect in a month or so I will get another email saying she has now moved. So to anyone reading, it appears she gave proper notice, although she actually moved prior to any notice. So my question is can she be charged with anything? I don’t know about kidnapping since she let me see the kids, but what can be done or is there nothing except contempt and a possible slap on the wrist? Does this make custodial interference and a change of circumstances that could result in a custody change?

    • Carmen

      I beleive she has to give you a written notice to relocate, stating when and where she intends to move, 30-60 days prior to relocating in order to allow you sufficient time to contest the move.

      She also must file a petition with the court requesting permission to relocate. If she moves without notifying you, allowing sufficient time for you to contest the relocation as well as filing a petition with the court, she is in violation of your parenting time order.

      If you can prove that she moved prior to sending you the written notice, a court can hold her in contempt for misleading the court as well as you.

      Giving notice to relocate within 3 days of relocating, especially when it is not specified as to the intended date and time of the relocate, and not filing a petition with the court is in violation of the parenting time order.

      Depending upon what state that you live in, some courts will hold her in contempt and consider this sufficient grounds to change custody, other states will do nothing to her and allow her to break all of the rules until it gets out of control.

      The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction And Enforcement Act specifically states that if either parent removes the child(ren) without the permission or of the other parent or without the other parents knowledge, it is a federal felony of interstate kidnapping and custodial interference.

      Too many parents, usually vindictive parents will remove the child(ren) without giving the other parent notice and against court orders to punish the other parent, which in turn will punish the child(ren).

      Keep acurate records of everything that she does against the parenting order, you will be able to show she has a history of ignoring the court orders and violating the order as well as fleeing with the child(ren) to avoid contempt or a change of custody.

      Over time, this will hurt her case and show the courts that she is an unfit parent that only looks out for her own self-interest at the detriment of the child(ren). It will eventally go against her in court.

      Technically, anything that is detrimental to the child(ren), such as relocating to terminate the relationship with the other parent, moving a great distance to interfere with parenting time, anything that will have a negative impact on the relationship between the other parent and the child(ren) is sufficient grounds for a custody change.

      It really depends upon the judge to do their job or wait for it to really mess up the child(ren)’s lives before they act on it. Some judges can see right through this playing the courts and others will wait until it has gone to the extreme before making a decision.

      Family law courts are partially to blame for the deterioration of our society for allowing too much to happen to these poor children before they actually step in and do their jobs as judges.

  • Luis

    Ive been divoced since 2002 i had two kids with my ex wife but any how long story short i’ve been trying to find her since she moved out of state with my 2 kids without my permission she left california to las vegas with her new boyfriend. Ive been able to find my daughter on facebook so i messaged her to see how they were and my ex blocked me from my own daughters page. Ive contacted my ex on facebook also and she never responded back, i would think if i would of done something bad or horrible to her or my kids but i never did and the reason we got divorced was because of her. So im begging anyone that lives in california what way i can go about filling any paper work ive tried with the child support department but they were no help.

  • Carmen

    If you live in Oregon and have sole custody of your children, you can pretty much do as you wish. You can move across the country or even to another country and deny the non-custodial parents any visitation. You can also file false protective orders against the non-custodial parent and pretend that you are in fear for your life. You can hide the child and continue to relocate all over the country without every notifying the other parent or the courts. You can even get a new or replacement passport for your children and go overseas to hide your children from the non-custodial parent and no court in the USA will do anything to you, as long as you are the custodial parent and you are female. I know and have proof of this, as no court has upheld any violations for contempt of court, violations for forbidding parenting time, or violations for relocating without notice, and continuous fleeing with the child for the past four years.

  • myc

    My ex moved to Fl from NV and is responsible for the cost of sending them to visit me. She has not once but twice denied to send them due to funds. The court decree also said that her and her husband where moving to FL for 2 job offers, I know for a fact that he never had a job waiting for him there. So what is the next step for me if filling proper paper work. I’m currently unemployeed and have no funds for a lawyer. I miss my kids terribly. She also lied in the court decree stating i never had them on the weekends for the last four years, when in fact i did have them EVERY WEEKEND, and can get numerous friends t testify. please help!!!

  • innovativemomma

    I went through this during my divorce. My daughter and I lived in Texas at the time and my now ex lived in Washington State. At first his attorney tried to sneak in a provision stating that I could not move out of the county without permission but I represented myself and contested that because he did not reside in the state of Texas. If you have sole custody make sure your parenting plan states that you have say of where the child will reside. I can move anywhere with my daughter without his consent and it is not kidnapping (I have lived in 2 other states since that hearing in 2010 and currently planning a move to Europe in September). I don’t even need his consent to get her passport because of the divorce decree. You have to be proactive and start whatever research you need now just in case your state requires something else. Best of luck to you all…
    BTW I do have my degree in paralegal studies (this is not legal advice) just letting you know that I do know what I am talking about.

    • Carmen

      I have just learned that if he sends the Department of State an Order to Stay, it will forbid you from receiving a passport for you and the children and from removing the children from their residence.

      If you violate the Order to Stay, you can be extradited back to the US and have international child kidnapping charges brought against you regardless of your custody status.

      The Center for Missing and Exploited Children will also place your name and the child on a national registry which will allow local law enforcement, US Customs, the FBI and Department of Homeland Security to detain you at any port of entry/exit, in the event that you attempt to leave the US with the children without permission from the courts or a notarized written consent from the non-custodial parent.

      If you are held in contempt for violating several court orders, the court can take away all of your parenting rights as well as make you serve time in jail and/or pay a large bond or fine to the courts.

      Unfortunately, when there is an ongoing custody issue and you violate the terms by relocating to another location or country, you risks the chance of it becoming a federal case and federal courts are very harsh on parents that purposely violate court orders regarding children.

  • Isis Vichot

    Thank you for your response. I just contacted my attorney today and we are filing a petitin for termination of rights and my husband to legally adopt her . We ran into her biological father at the barber shop and when a friend of his told him hey isnt that your daughter his response ws na nigha your confused . this hurt me terribly and its why i called my attorney and demanded I want in writing that I want him to terminate his rights . He hasnt been in my daughters life since she was 3 1/2 monhs old hes useless has never paid a dime my husband has maintained her and been her father since we started. The only reason hes doing any of this is to get back at me for having him arrested when he hit me. I wouldnt care if he wanted to be in her life but because he shows no interest I refuse to let my daughter get hurt in the end. My husband and I have plans to leave to Chicago in July just need to finish some stuff I have pending with another court case and hopefully he choses to sign her over and we can start fresh in Chicago. Its all in GODS hands im sorry to those fathers that try to be in there childs life and the mother wont allow you I wish that was the situation with me but this guy just wont ever grow up and I refuse to let him hurt my daughter in he future to get back at me .

  • Isis Vichot

    Does anyone have any idea about laws in florida as far as a child having there own attorney to defend them my attorney was telling me something about this but I wanted to get information from someone outside. Shes only 3 1/2 the next court date we have is for august 21st but since she wants nothing to do with him and shakes at the sight of his name my attorney said she may be able to have someone who will prove the right thing for her in court not sure what this is called. Im studying paralegal now receivedmy certificate for it but I know that I child cant choose in florida until they are 12 but he stated that this person would defend her just wanted some feedback please. if anyoe could help or email me to ivichot14@gmail.com id greatly appreciate it thank you

  • Carmen

    Just move to Oregon. They will do nothing against you as long as you are the custodial parent. You can break any and every law there is regarding visitation, parenting time, and hiding and secreting the children, relocating without notice, even custodial interference and kidnapping and the judges will do nothing to you.

    My bf’s ex did all of that and more and regardless of hundreds of contempt charges, violating every and all of the parenting time orders, hiding the child, kidnapping the child and relocating to another state, and continuously relocating to deny visitation, even going so far as to attempt to take the child to another country to avoid court and not one judge has taken her child away from her in the past four years of defiance.

  • Angel

    I am going through something very similar and I have no idea what to do. My 13 yr old daughters biological father had nothing to do with her for 6 yrs. I contacted him regarding giving up his rights so my husband could adopt her. The bio father wanted to have a relationship with my daughter so I agreed. For the past few years it has been terrible. Every single time I do something he does not like, he threatens to take my child away. The visitiation we have set up has not been that great either. There have been lapses in visits and communication. I think he forgets how to use a phone. Anyways, this last time he had no contact for 6 months and randomly calls to see her. I wanted to stay on good terms due to our impending move from NY to GA. I asked my daughter if she wanted to go and she said yes to see her cat, not her father. He also informed me that he already knew about the move before I told him due to Facebook so my thought is he only contacted her to cause trouble with the possible move. I dont know what to do at this point.

    • Step-Mommy

      @Angel
      The visitation that you have set up, did you go through the court or did you and your ex set something up?

  • A loving father

    I really need some advice, I am a non custodial parent who is on a child support order never asked for vistation because I have always been in my sons life, his mother moved to tx & my son has been with me for almost three years, she still collects child support and does not help financially, and is doing prostitution on craigslist with nude pics online, my son is going to be 10 and dont want to see her, can u get sole custody

    • Step-Mommy

      First you need to either contact a lawyer. You can represent yourself if need be. But you need to file to change a court order for child support and to change the custody. Save all of the info that you have that proves that your ex is not fit to have your child. Depending on the state that you went through for the original court order, your son may have a say in where he goes. I believe that the courts will listen to children as young as 10 years old in some states while others are 12 years old. With her collecting child support and not even having your child with her is fraud and she could get into lots of trouble. But you need to go and file papers with the court to change everything. You can even call your local family court and they can give your more information. But the best thing would be to get a lawyer. The courts can even give you a list of low-income lawyers if you cannot afford one. I wish you the best of luck with this whole situation.

  • Leslie

    Don’t know if this has been covered: Custodial parent (mother) of disabled child; has custody for benefits only and rarely has contact with child. Child is mainly with state agency-paid caregiver or dad. Judge (divorce) awarded custody to mother, even though mother has history of neglect and abandonment. Agency recognizes guardianship of both mother and father. If mother leaves again (inevitable), does legal custody have to be taken through court ($) or does fathers guardianship mean anything?

  • sarah

    I recently got married and im planning on moving to hawaii with my son we have a place there already my husband is in the army what are my chances that the courts will let me go because my sons dad lives here

  • Step-Mommy

    Being the fact that you are bettering your situation, they will most likely agree with you leaving, but they will also take into consideration the visitation with your son’s father. If he has an active role in your child’s life, then the court will probably grant him your son’s summer vacation to make up for the visitation time. My husband and I are moving but he is the non-custodial parent, and since we will not be able to see his daughter every other weekend, the court said that my husband will get his daughter over the summers. My husband’s ex’s lawyer said that the law states that they have to cater to the non-custodial parent in situations like this. Just because you or they move, does not mean that they can not see them. If you and your son’s father can talk, maybe you can reach an arrangement before you have court. Oh, and get everything in writing and notarized. It stands up better in court that way. Hope this helps and good luck with your move.

  • Concerned Friend

    So…I have a male friend who has 8 year old twin boys with his X. He is listed as their Father on both of their Birth Certificates. They were married, but I believe divorced before the twins were born. (I know..odd! lol) They resided together until the twins were a year & 1/2 old. They split up & he started seeing them every other weekend (their own personal agreement). Once he started seeing someone she decided he didn’t need to see them anymore. So, she disappeared for about 4 years just before they turned 3. He found her on Facebook when the boys were 7. He began speaking with her & she agree’d to let him see them again… So, he would pick them up on weekends and any other opportunity he had to see them. He DOES pay child support for them. She is now re-married to someone else. About 7-8 months ago she & new hubby just up and moved all the way to California w/ the boys. She DID NOT inform him until AFTER they were there (purposely I believe).. My friend lives in a very small town in Arkansas. Loooooong way to Cali! & on his wages, after taxes & child support, would NEVER have funds to travel back & forth. He has NO IDEA what to do, or even what can be done since there has NEVER been any court ordered custody, Just 2 birth certificates signed by both parents. So my question is: Without legal documentation stamped by a judge stating custody, can he still…7-8 months after the fact file something through the courts over her up & moving 25 hours away with his boys without him knowing? Child Support has NOT even been notified of her moving, yet he is still paying (they are investigating her situation as we speak). Will the Birth Certificates act as proof of paternity? He has been so depressed since they’ve gone with their Mother, she has changed her # even & he hasn’t even been able to speak with them since October 2011. I’m just a concerned friend who thinks his situation is terrible, & knows first hand how little (wages) we make here in Arkansas, it would be impossible for him to afford attorney fee’s. Any thoughts or advice? P.S. the twins have a brother & sister who miss them terribly as well. They all feel as though they FINALLY had them back, only to lose them once again….:(:(:(

    • Carmen

      The courts will never do anything to her regardless of how many laws that she breaks. The woman will always win in court because she is the best liar, player and actor in front of the judge. All she has to do is lie to the judge that you are an abusive husband and she is scared for her life, then start to cry in front of the judge and he will allow her to do everything against the law.

      As a man, you have no rights unless you happen to be the boyfriend, sexual child predator or phedofile that is in a relationship with the mother of the children, then you also can kidnap children, boast about having sex with the children, hide the children and even threaten and harass the father of the child and no court will ever hold you accountable for any crimes that you commit.

      As a father who is an abiding citizen and following the laws and courts, you lost all of your rights the minute you got married to her. She is allowed to destroy your life for her entertainment and no judge in the USA will help you to see or get your children back home.

      Word of warning, if you do anything such as respond to her, try to find her, attempt to take her back to court, she can file false protective orders against you in order for her to have the upper hand at any child custody hearings.

      She knows that you cannot afford to find her or take her to court and she also knows that you cannot afford to go to California to fight any false charges against you. You can thank all of the fake “victims advocate groups” as well as women’s liberation for your demise.

      The moment that men were stupid enough to give women rights is when men lost all of their right to be a father, to be a man, and to live peacefully on this earth. Woman have a license to destroy men.

    • Step-Mommy

      Actually times are changing. Depending on the state that your child support court order is in, is where you would file the papers. You should file papers that she has taken your children out of state, and did not inform the courts. If she did inform the courts, they have to send you some sort of documentation so that you have a chance to defend why she shouldn’t leave or come up with some sort of custody or visitation agreement. My husband and I are moving and we had to go to court to change the visitation arrangement and the law states that if the law is supposed to cater to the non-custodial parent as far as visitation time. You can represent yourself in court. Don’t let anyone discourage you for at least trying. All of the papers that my husband filed, I had filled everything out for him and things went our way. Yes, it is harder but not impossible. As long as you are doing what you are supposed to do, the courts look at that. Good luck to you.

  • rob

    If my ex moved across town, am i still required to do 100% of the transportation? (the fact that I have to do 100% to begin with is b.s. She makes it a game that I really don’t care to play)

  • mari

    This is very confusing! I currently live in Texas but will be getting remarried and moving to Colorado. I did not know that i HAD to ask for permission to move. According to my divorce decree it states as a parent jont managing conservator, i have exclusive right to designate the primary residence of the children without regard to geographic location. What are the guidelines as my attorney is not contacting me?

  • father of 2

    i have 2 kids i have a signed agreement with my ex that was filed in court when we got divorced 3 years ago that she wont leave the town in NJ were living in till my son is 12 (now hes 6) in the our agreement it states she has primary custody with me having visitation of twice a week for supper & every other weekend however for the last 2 years my children have been sleeping over twice a week & every other weekend (6 out of 14 nights in a 2 week cycle) i got an email from her 2 nights ago shes moving to NY bout an hr & a half away (now its a 5 min drive) to live near her parents & i can keep visitation as per agreement
    i responded that im not giving my consent to leave the town & state.
    she moved dismorning im going to speak to a lawyer tomorrow could anyone tell me what the odds are of getting her back to where i live cuz i wont be able to travel the hr & a half twice a week & every other weekends due to my job & money which means ill end up seeing my kids every other weekend if she doesent move back HELP

    • http://peachprodmusic@yahoo.com TN

      response to the father of 2 on visitation. You really can not make your ex wife stay in the same town as you just for your convience. you guys could just work out a deal among yourselves regarding visitations. see your kids on the weekends. meet half way on the driving. you could go back to court but that cost money and you will probably have to miss work. The both of you have to be civil for the children even though you may not like one another. I was married and divorced in Missisippi and then after a few years being divorced i moved back to massachusetts where i grew up. my daughter visits in the summer and sometimes on vacation weeks. but most of the stuff we had in the divorce agreement is not realistic any more. we did file modifications with the courts with the changes and it did not cost that much. good luck
      a single parent

  • dwillson

    ok so my ex wife moved with our daughter to Mississippi in December the day she left she called and told me that she was not moving to the address she gave the courts and she terminated her phone plan before she left now shes using my virtual parent time as a disciplinary tool for example she didn’t eat her dinner so she cant talk to you or sorry but the computer is broken and you cant have phone calls so i haven’t talked to my daughter for almost 2 weeks now im kinda broke and cant find a probono attorney what do i do all i have is her boyfriends number and no contact info for my ex wife what can i do? since i don’t have a correct address so i cant serve her with court docs and shes not collecting child support how can i get to a reasonable point to have constant contact with my daughter. its now been 4 months since she left and i think thats more then enough time to have her provide information what can i do legally

    • Step Mommy

      Women like this make me sick!
      You can go to the court. They should have new papers that you can file stating that you have no clue where she is now, but they will send the papers to the address that she has given them and if she doesn’t respond to it or go to court, then a bench warrant can be issued. You should go to your local court house and speak with their customer service members in the Family Court Division and find out if there they do have any paper work that can be filled out for your situation. The worst thing you can do is ask. I hope that everything works out for you.

  • Carmen

    All of you are wrong,

    As a woman with the use of free attorneys and just by learning how to abuse the system, you can bend any law to change any court order to exactly how you wants things to turn out in your favor.

    You can successfully deny the father all parenting time for the rest of his life from every seeing his children. You can leave the state without notice and even against an order to stay, you can even change venue to another state or leave the country with your children, and no law, judge or court will every do anything to you as the mother of the children.

    Fathers have no say so in family matters as they are nothing more than just someone that we use to get what we want in life until we find someone else to replace them with and continue the cycle.

    Even children have no say so in the matter, as the custodial parent and being the mother of the children, you can make your own rules and there is not one judge in the USA, will the balls to go against you in court.

    I am proof that you can break and bend every law and nothing will ever happen to you, you can even terminate the relationship with the children and their father and replace him with your boyfriend, as long as you get a couple of dirty attorneys that do not mind bending the rules and breaking laws to do your dirty work for you, you are in the clear.
    You don’t have to reach any kind of agreement with the father of the children, you don’t have to tell him or the court that you are locating, you don’t even have to let him know where you and the children are living and you can still collect child support from him or have his license suspended or even have him thrown in jail if he fails to pay child support.
    The main goal is to make him lose his job, make him lose his home, make him spend all of his money in court and legal fees and still keep him away from his children until he regrets being alive. That will teach him to be stupid enough to trust women or force him into homelessness. How is that for vengeance?

    • Step-Mommy

      You may be proof that women can do what ever they want, but my husband is proof that the law can side with the father (non-custodial parent). There is always hope. His ex tried to have things done her way but apparently the Judge and law saw through all of her B.S. What ever you do now, WILL be judged by our Lord when it is time for you to enter those pearly gates. Think about that one. Are you proud of what you have done and are you confident about going to heaven?

      • Carmen

        I just won another hearing in which he attempted to get custody of our child. All I did was my usual to change the entire hearing away from what it was originally for and the judges are always stupid enough to rule in my favor and shot down all of the hearings that he requested parenting time or custody.

        They drop the real reason for the hearings and focus on the reasons that I give to change the hearings to another topic to keep them away from the truth. They are always in favor of pleasing me and the attorneys and do absolutely nothing for him because I managed to break him and he lost all of his money on this case.

        I finally broke his will and spirit after making him fight in court for four years and still never getting any rights to see his child. He finally gave up and I get my way again.

        Since there is no god or heaven or hell, I can do as I please and he will just have to suffer throughout his life without seeing his child because he pissed me off by not being rich, and I want to make him suffer until the day he dies.

        The courts have never ruled in his favor because I have always been able to mislead them into going in a different direction and threw them off entirely. I can honestly say that I am smarter than the judges. I even beat them at their own game.

        • Leslie

          Have you considered a career in law yourself? You sound like you’d be good at it, as you have no soul.

        • Step_Mommy

          You are a serious piece of work! Because of women like you, it makes it harder for the “good” fathers out there. Karma will catch up to you! And you will see there is a heaven and hell when you get to your final destination. May God have mercy on your soul!

    • Jamie

      Wow Carmen,
      All I can think to reply to you is…I’m so sorry for whatever this man did to you. That he must have really f-ed up in a horrible way to make you so angry with men in general. No women should have to get to that point in life where a man has wronged her so bad that she would want to make him wish he wasn’t alive or want to make him homeless. I hope eventaully you are able to find peace with this horrible man and forget about him all together. There are good men out there, maybe not a whole lot but they are out there somewhere.
      I do wish you the best of luck in your life and for your children. Just be careful as not to make your children that synical in life. Life will be ten times harder on them. You take up more energy being stressed and mad all the time rather than just going with the flow and letting things go because they aren’t worth your time and effort…like that man. Not worth it. He is just wasting your life away by what ever he did. I have a hard time letting things go and talking to someone, objective, helps me. Just a though.
      Take care Carmen.

  • Step-Mommy

    You may be proof that women can do what ever they want, but my husband is proof that the law can side with the father (non-custodial parent). There is always hope. His ex tried to have things done her way but apparently the Judge and law saw through all of her B.S. What ever you do now, WILL be judged by our Lord when it is time for you to enter those pearly gates. Think about that one. Are you proud of what you have done and are you confident about going to heaven?

  • dominic

    ok my ex girl friend has physical placement and we have joint costody as well as i have visitation… she move to a diffrent county and never told me about it as well as now its been a year a 7 months since i have seen my to kids……im taking her back to court cause i recently found where she was livin what can happen!

    • Step Mommy

      Well, your ex could be charged with custodial kidnapping… But one thing that can really happen is the courts revising your visitation order so that you will be able to see your children. My husband just had to have his visitation order adjusted because we are moving too far away to continue the current order so he gets his daughter over her summer vacation as well as her winter break. If you go into court with a plan, and the court allows you to present it, then they can see that you have given some thought to what could be done. Don’t go in with being spiteful on your mind. It doesn’t matter about your ex, it is about you being able to see your children. Now, next time she violates the court order visitation, the best thing to do is go to the local police station and file a report. Then you have it documented and it will help your case more. Hope that this helps.

  • shelz65

    What if the “father” never signed the birth certificate; never petitioned the court to invoke his parental rights; never asked for visitation of any kind; and only calls or texts twice a year (birthday and christmas) ?? The only thing there is in place is child support (that is sporadic due to his sporadic work history) and a DNA test thru Child Support Court but nothing in Juvenile Court. Can you move to the next town county or state if you want to without contacting the courts considering there is nothing in place? And next questin is IF he would decided to petition the court for visitation will it still be his responsibility to provide transportation for visits? (Currently I live 26 miles away from him)… Thanks

  • Kyle Ak

    My ex girlfriend is pregnant with my baby, i will be getting a paternity test and i want my baby. the thing is no matter what i do which is nothing short of everything in the way of being here and trying to help with the pregnancy, she refuses to let me be a part. Her booyfriend and her are trying to take me out of the picture completely is there some sort of legal action i can take to possibly recieve full custody and revoke all visitation from her due to her trying to remove me from my baby’s life????

  • http://wisewishes.net cherie safapou

    When I filied my divorce, I went home with my two childern and we found out the lock was changed, and my account was zero, I took refuge in Marin Family Court, and 6yr later I have not only defand myself, childern, life from the sociopat ex but form our poor court of law, which is contaminated with some of those incomptante, mediators, commitioner, cps,DA, childsupport agency, so I am found out that “Family Court in usa are Organize Crime, they all make profit when childern lose” (look for this tilte , my book is comeing up soon) from tears, pain and suffering caused by some of the sick and bad apples in our family court, we will be in White House on may 7, 2012, to expose, remove, jail those who contaminated our poor court of law, by infalting lost, sorrow for our childern, and we will give a voice to all those mother/childern who dream in silince to be heard, with in hope we will clean up from bottom up and stop the Court Crimes.

  • Island Gurl

    I have Sole custody of my two boys. Their dad has been absent from their lives from 07 until 2011. He’s been in and out of jail all his life. He owes back child support. While the judge granted him visitation he was on parole and got a DUI. Only did a week in jail. He was also a person of interest when my house was shot up. Amyways, I left Wa. without giving 60 days notice and not giving him any info. Can they track me down and make me return the kids?

  • Carmen

    You can do anything as long as you are a woman, no court will go against you. The goal is to destroy family values and punish men for trusting women. The entire family law is about making families, and especially trusting men to suffer for being together.

    You will get more help to your favor if you are hateful and hurt the people that trust you. If you try to be nice, nobody will help you and they will let you fail. Hatred is so much easier than trying to raise a family.

  • Help!

    I believe my situation is a bit different from the comments above me! The father of my son (whom I was never married to) have shared custody. I have primary and he has secondary. It will be a year that he has relocated to a different state pretty soon. He left to a better paying job working with one of his friends and didn’t let the court know about anything but he is still paying child support. I in the other hand would like to move to another state as well. Is there any advice I can get that will help me out?!?!

  • Tanya

    You know what?……. You chose to marry this man/this woman. You chose to have children with this man/this woman. This is Mom and this is Dad. Unless Mom or Dad is abusive (not just physical, emotional), why would any Mother or Father interfer with the Mom, the Dad rights and visitations. For the sake of the children, please put aside any anger or vindictiveness and make it as easy and as often for Mom and Dad to see the children. For those of you who have to contend with abusive/neglectful/narcisstic behavior, I’m sorry for you and the children. Please, please, document, document incidents and take the higher road. Been through, made it through, children grown and have relationships with Mom, Dad, Step Dad, Step Mom, now.

  • Jordan

    I’m in some need of suggestions and help. The mother of my child and I were together for 7 years. After the birth of my son we remained in the same house hold until he was 2 years old. We have been apart for a year now and he will be 3 soon. Both of us have split all bills including; daycare, clothes, diapers, medical bills, college funds..ect. He spends 3 days a week with me(father) and 4 days with his mom then the next week it changes. Its 4 days a week with me(father) then 3 with his mom and we are every other weekend. So it is exactly 50/50. I am a huge part of his life. Our relationship is so good and he often times wants to see me more than his mother. My son’s great grandparents, grandpartents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all live within 20 minutes of where we live now. His whole family and everyone he knows lives near him. Now his mom has a new boyfriend who she has been with for 6 months. She tells me she is moving an 1.5 to 2 hours away in 2 months to live with this new boyfriend. What rights do I have as a father who has a great relationship with his son. I am a very responsible person, amazing father, and currently work as a registered nurse. All his family is down here and he has no family where she wants to move to. It would be just her and this new boyfriend. She says I will only get to see him every other weekend which would probably be the case because when else would i see him. I need to know what to do and what chance i have at obtaining primary custody. I still want her to be a part of his life but i also want everyone else who is apart of my sons life to remain a part of his life. Because if she moves no one will get to see him as often.

  • carmen

    Unfortuantely for you, women always get their way in court regardless of how many laws that they disobey. You will find that her new boyfriend and her will end up terminating your relationship with your child and nobody will help you unless you are rich enough to get the best attorneys.

    Men always lose everything in divorce, even their rights and children. You will end up having to kiss her and her boyfriends behinds and meet all of their demands if you ever wish to see your child again.

    Courts and mothers could care a less about the “best interest of the child” or the non-custodial parent, it is mainly what is in the best interest of the woman and her new boyfriend. Family means nothing anymore.

    As a man, you have no rights, not even the rights that the court will tell you that you have and never enforce those rights. It is a lose/lose situation for you and a win/win situation for the woman and her new boyfriend. This world is about tearing apart family values, not building them.

    Your best interest is to give up now and hope that when your son grows up, he will accidently find someone that can help him find his real father. I am certain that the boyfriend will force him to call him “daddy” just to piss you off and help your ex on her vengence trip against you.

  • Ashley

    Okay my daughter’s father is taking me to court for joint custody, can I move before out of the state because I go to court?

  • Carmen

    You need to move to another state and lie to the “victims assistance” program that you are in fear for your life and safety and the life and safety of your child, then file a temporary restraining order against your ex-husband with the victims advocacy group, which you will have to lie again about emotional and physical abuse. Then immediately file a temporary custody order if you do not already have full-custody.

    With doing all of these things, you will win by far and he will never have a chance to get any custody or see the child again. No court will fight against you or in the ex-husbands behalf unless he has alot of money and the best attorney in the country. Judges are too lazy too care about men or children, but are more than willing to take your side if you put up a very good show and break down crying in your court hearings.

  • me

    Think the law for the most part does not help just build good family bonds. Just because you are the biological mother or father ,that does not mean you are a good parent…many biological parents ruin the lives of their children. For those parents who are honest and are only doing what is in the best interest of your child without lies and vengence good luck to you. I was with someone and found myself pregnant after two years. At the same time this person became abusive….stalking and harassing. I tried to get him help without any results. I ended up getting an order of protection. I had my child on my own and after almost 4 years I met someone and got married …we are happily married. My current husband has known my child since 6 months of age…she startef calling him daddy before we were married and still does. Now after almost 4 years my ex started testing and messaging me therefore I requested another order of protection because i was scared he mite start stalking me ,my child,or my husband or cause us harm. When I did this he out of spite requested visitation…the judge even tho gave me an order of prot. Let him have visitation. He lied and said he had a great relationship with my daughter etc…which was a lie…he pretended to be the hurt father…he says the most vile things on the phone to her as he is permitted to call n speak w her and when I report this the courts blow me off…this man is dangerous…he has no friends,his own brother n sister won’t go anywhere with him, he sees and hears things,makes up things and actually believes the outlandish stories, he thinks people r trying to poison him…among many other problems…he has violent outbursts and has even attacked his brother. The family still protects him…he tells the courts that he was distraught over the horrible relationship he had with me…it is just crazy…like a bad movie. Now the judge has granted him visitation and my child cries all the time …as she goes w him she is crying and he standard there laughing at her. He also lies in court and said that I stopped her from calling him dad and had his mother show up to lie and say I was u.stable and had no job etc…I only stopped working temporarily bec my husband and I were having a child and I had complications.and my husband has always worked and we have a house ,and I am also I’m school. The courts believe all this and to demand i stop my child from calling my husband daddy…the only person that was in her life…my ex is out to satisfy his need for companionship because he is totally alone and after vengence against me and my husband and using my child to do this….I live in another state and they make me fly back to give him visitation. I now have to travel w both my children and cannot keep a steady job because of the interruptions w the visits…on top of this there is financial strain…and I am scared for the safety of my child n myself being n e where near him…my lawyer told me I have nothing to worry about and if my child dies I would get a.big settlement!!!!!!!!!!! I was shocked beyond belief…is this how it is everywhere…I have shown the texts and emails etc which he sent on the past as well and my lawyer said the jidge just laughed and said i should not have had a kid w him then. On top of that when I tried to tell the judge aboutwhy im afraid for our safety he ughed and brushed me aside and made a determination without hearing me out. If my ex was a.good man, an honest man, and mentally stable it would be great for my child to get to know him bit this is not the case…what doea one do in such a situation? Do I have any options?

  • cammy

    Think the law for the most part does not help just build good family bonds. Just because you are the biological mother or father ,that does not mean you are a good parent…many biological parents ruin the lives of their children. For those parents who are honest and are only doing what is in the best interest of your child without lies and vengence good luck to you. I was with someone and found myself pregnant after two years. At the same time this person became abusive….stalking and harassing. I tried to get him help without any results. I ended up getting an order of protection. I had my child on my own and after almost 4 years I met someone and got married …we are happily married. My current husband has known my child since 6 months of age…she startef calling him daddy before we were married and still does. Now after almost 4 years my ex started testing and messaging me therefore I requested another order of protection because i was scared he mite start stalking me ,my child,or my husband or cause us harm. When I did this he out of spite requested visitation…the judge even tho gave me an order of prot. Let him have visitation. He lied and said he had a great relationship with my daughter etc…which was a lie…he pretended to be the hurt father…he says the most vile things on the phone to her as he is permitted to call n speak w her and when I report this the courts blow me off…this man is dangerous…he has no friends,his own brother n sister won’t go anywhere with him, he sees and hears things,makes up things and actually believes the outlandish stories, he thinks people r trying to poison him…among many other problems…he has violent outbursts and has even attacked his brother. The family still protects him…he tells the courts that he was distraught over the horrible relationship he had with me…it is just crazy…like a bad movie. Now the judge has granted him visitation and my child cries all the time …as she goes w him she is crying and he standard there laughing at her. He also lies in court and said that I stopped her from calling him dad and had his mother show up to lie and say I was u.stable and had no job etc…I only stopped working temporarily bec my husband and I were having a child and I had complications.and my husband has always worked and we have a house ,and I am also I’m school. The courts believe all this and to demand i stop my child from calling my husband daddy…the only person that was in her life…my ex is out to satisfy his need for companionship because he is totally alone and after vengence against me and my husband and using my child to do this….I live in another state and they make me fly back to give him visitation. I now have to travel w both my children and cannot keep a steady job because of the interruptions w the visits…on top of this there is financial strain…and I am scared for the safety of my child n myself being n e where near him…my lawyer told me I have nothing to worry about and if my child dies I would get a.big settlement!!!!!!!!!!! I was shocked beyond belief…is this how it is everywhere…I have shown the texts and emails etc which he sent on the past as well and my lawyer said the jidge just laughed and said i should not have had a kid w him then. On top of that when I tried to tell the judge aboutwhy im afraid for our safety he ughed and brushed me aside and made a determination without hearing me out. If my ex was a.good man, an honest man, and mentally stable it would be great for my child to get to know him bit this is not the case…what doea one do in such a situation? Do I have any options?

  • Dan

    Sarah and Anne,

    I just received a letter from opposing counsel of my ex-wifes notice to move to California due to a job offer and currently the children are in Maryland..I live 5 minutes away in DC. I am the non-custodial parent. We are actually in the middle of a custody battle originating before this notice, where the custodial parent was trying to remove any physical custody from me. What happens in these crazy cases with a psychotic parent in a revengful mode for 9 years? Has anyone gone thorugh this or have some advice?

  • hernanj

    hello

    i just got deported to mexico, but i also have 50/50 custody of my children, now their mother tells me she cant handel them and wishes to give them to me here in mexico. is there certain forms she should sign when she brings them over, so i wont have any problems( registering them in school etc.) or be accused as an abductor? or is there a certain procedure i should follow first?

  • Megan

    Does anyone know what happens if we never had a legal custody agreement in the first place? My Ex Husband and I have been divorced for 8 years. We have always lived about an hour from one another. I basically told him that he can see our daughter whenever his schedule permits. So for 8 years, we have been playing it by ear. Sometimes he picks her up for dinner once a week. Sometimes she spends the night at his house on a weekend. Other times, he goes a week or two without seeing her. We have had a good relationship. However, my husband and I have the opportunity to move from PA to SC. His employer is offering him the chance to grow their business in that area. We think that the kids would love the sunnier days and they would be close to their cousins. My ex is having a fit! How do I go about this the right way. Remember there is no Court Ordered Custoday agreement in place. Thanks for any help!

  • Carmen

    Megan,

    I don’t know what you’re so worked up about. Women always get their way in court and men always lose. All you have to do is get a court appointed attorney for free, file a false restraining order against your husband, file a false abuse report against him and learn to cry or act devastated in court and you will win everything.

    You can get half of his assets, you will the car, the house, the children, the bank accounts and even get him to pay for your debts and child support and you can still terminate his visitation just for entertainment. No court, no judge, no police or law will ever be held against you.

    The laws only apply to men, not women. Women are allowed to break all of the laws and never get punished for anything. Men get what they deserve for trusting women and being stupid enough to allow the women’s advocacy groups to change all of the laws to protect only women and the hell with the best interest of the children.

    You can even move in with a pedophile or a sex offender, even someone with severe mental disorders and no court will ever take away your children or your rights. I have successfully destroyed my ex, terminated his relationship with our child, even threaten him through my boyfriend, and I still win all of the court cases.

    I have my ex so broken down now that he cannot even afford to live and has no way to hire an attorney or even come attempt visitation. We even took my child to other states to prevent parenting time. I filed many false protective orders against my ex and even lie about everything to the courts and I always win in court.

    The judges will never judge against you, they want to make sure that you win and that the men suffer. If the women lose in custody battles, then the courts and the states will not get the much needed funding to pay for the hearings and free attorneys from the women’s advocacy groups that support them as long as they bend the rules and laws.

    • ogchilli

      Carmen… This is all so true. Yet you sound so selfish and greedy. I am going through a child custody at the moment. My heart is broken and has been broken many times. Not just by a man but by what my children are going through. I filed a restraining order, because he physically abused me, as well as my older son. Yet all has been true… I have not lied. I hired a lawyer barely making ends meat. I’m stressed and sad. Stressed because my children do not have what I wish they could, because Im spending money on lawyers and gasoline on trips to this meeting ect.. Sad because my kids will never have a normal family.. and will always remember the abuse on me and them from there father. I don’t want him around them I scared that he might hurt them. Yet the system works poorly. I know that he will get visitation rights, because he has rights. If he was a loving father I wouldn’t care about support for the kids.. it shouldn’t be about money. Its like I always have said we made em together we should support them love em and care for them together even if we are not a couple. I can not move away and re-due my life again with my new husband, because I must ask him for permission and the court. I have been battered by him, and have filed many times restrain orders. Yet he still can hurt me and threaten me and nobody does a damn thing. I always told my kids don’t hate your father his just immature eventually he will learn and be a good father. Respect him because if not for him I would not have you both as my most precious jewels. Yet my 12yr old hates him and my 7yr old is confused.. why because he never met his father until he was 4.5 yrs old. This man leaves for long periods of times and when he comes expects me to be with him and if not that way he leaves with no remorse when hurting the children. I will have my case this Monday and pray that I get full sole custody and that I and the kids and my new husband can live a joyful happy life with no more violence. Yet that is all I can do pray. The courts can do what they think is best for the children. I don’t agree with you Carmen. I feel you are in need of attention and really need alot of love and support and therapy. With all this false accusations you say you did to your ex. Because when we do that, we not only hurt the man that gave us such beautiful joys to our eyes but we hurt the jewels and us. Then children grow with the conclusion that women are nasty liars and dads are horrible Men. So my advice to every woman in here whom is seeking revenge by doing this awful false accusations. To please listen to your heart and think before you act because actions do more then the pain you will see in your own eyes. I was accused of sexually, physically and mentally abusing both my boys, By the father. Because I would not let him see them due to his vicious recent acts against me in front of the kids. I saw the pain in my children and the fear of being separated from me. My oldest said my my head hurts and my heart.. are we gonna get taken away from you? Why would Dad do such a horrible thing and lie and want us to be away from you mom.? Why does he hate us? I don’t like him his mean to you and me well not to my lil brother cause he never met him before. Then the younger one said mommy I’m scared what if daddy kills us.. he said he will make your life into pieces.. and he called you the B word and then said the F word and threw you my police car. Mommy and you always say we are your life… so is he gonna hurt us? :( I said nobody is gonna hurt you nobody is gonna take you away from me nobody boys I promise you that as long as I live I will do my best to be the best mom and Dad for both of you. This calmed them down a bit. Well eventually Social services saw that I had a temporary restraing order on him and closed the case because they did not see any evidence of such treatments. I am a good mother I am strict with school and wont allow any roaming in the streets and under no circumstances do I allow any back talking or disrespectful actions to me or any adult. I believe all manners start at home and are carried into adult hood. I ask all the fathers to appreciate the mothers hard work in the upbringing of the children. If you can not live together and work it out get therapy concealing whatever it is to get through it and be a family again but a different family because regardless parents and children in Gods eyes are a family that no man can break. We all must learn to get along for the sake of our kids. I’m sorry if I offended you or anyone but this is how I believe a family should be. Even if you as a man or women have decided to go on with a new life with a different relationship. We cant be selfish to those good fathers and mothers out there but we do n must protect them from the dead beat violent parents and may I add yes its a shame to have you Carmen say you are a mother and worst a woman.

      • Jamie

        ogchilli,
        I am so sorry for what you went through and what your going through now. The only relief I have from your post is that you sound strong enough to protect your children. No women or children should be treated like that and have the courts actually side with the father for joint custody. I pray they hear what you are saying and do the right thing. I would also like to agree with you that just because there are bad apples, not all men are bad. Same for women in our society. It’s ashame the system is flawed and I hope someday those who deserve get there justice. My heart goes out to you and your children but like I said, at least they have you as a mother. Thank God for that.

  • Shaynanigans

    I will be married in two weeks to my fiance…he doesnt have full custody or even joint custody to his son but his son has lived with him the past 5 yrs and has taken care of his needs and wants.The mother will sole custody moved to Florida 5 years ago and came back last year and only seen the child once maybe twice.She then moved back to Florida last March…we didnt know this but then again she doesnt talk to us (which Im thankful for)…we want to get a house together but we would have to switch schools and I was told you cant do so unless you are the one with full custody…Also my fiance has his wages cut for child support…she is fighting tooth and nail about giving us full custody although the child wants nothing to do with her, and again she hasnt seen him nor bought him anything but maybe for his bday.WE provide new school supplies, clothes or whatever a parent is supposed to do…Is there a way we can win this battle to get custody or at least joint and be able to move him to another school?

    • Step-Mommy

      First off, he needs to go to court and have custody changed to himself. Do you have proof the she hasn’t been apart of the child’s life? If you do you can include those documents with your motion. Now if you can’t get full custody, then you can go for partial custody. You should try to get a lawyer that specializes in this type of case. If you can’t afford to get a lawyer to help you out, you can go to the court and someone can assist you in filling out the paperwork. They cannot however give you any advice. They may be able to provide you with phone numbers for pro bono or low income lawyers. I hope that this helps, but first thing is first… you need to file papers with the court.

  • Mommawantstoknow

    My problem is that….. my ex husband was charged with domestic violence and currently sees our daughter 2 times a week. He makes work days for the days he is supposed to see her and sometimes appointments with lawyers and what not, not about the divorce because the divorce is over but he has some personal issues going on so he drops her off. Sometimes, he even says that he isn’t coming to pick her up at the end of the appointment because he needs time for himself. I have sole legal and physical custody and am thinking about moving to another country. If I marry someone from another country, can my ex husband stop me from taking our daughter with me? Even though he isn’t all that present in our daughter’s life and was charged with domestic violence? I am keeping a diary of violations he makes with visitations and abuse as in the way he talks to me in front of the baby too so when I want to move I can present those to the court. Will someone please tell me what my rights are as to move away?
    Thank you

  • carmen

    I really don’t know why you women always worry too much about the family court system and the laws as they only apply to men. You can bet that you can break any law and the courts will do nothing to you unless you are a man.

    You can hide the children, move to another state and even move to another country and you don’t have to notify the father or the courts because all the courts will care about it what you want to do. The family court system was put in place to help women screw up family values and destroy children relationships with their fathers.

    If you are having trouble with the court system in your state going against you, just move to Oregon. They don’t want to deal with custody issues and will do anything you want to get you to stay out of court. If you start having trouble with the court system in Oregon, move to another state and Oregon will gladly give up jurisdiction.

    • Cherie

      I do not know who you are nor I want to know who you are just stop send me those shit, but let me tell you, you or anyone who write this shit and email it to me, I known you are sick and related to the family court which is organise crime they all make profit when children lose, Marin family court is internal terrorise like you,Illegal greed, sex, and incompetence is equal to USA family court, we will prove it and remove all those bad apple, a child abuser, killer, molester, we will clean our poor court of law from all of those barbaric and sick like you.

    • Mommawantstoknow

      @ Carmen…
      Goodness gracious, you are one sour sour thing. What you should say that you really don’t know is why anyone wants to be with someone as bitter as you are. If you can’t answer the question asked, that shows how low your IQ is and if you can only come back with insults, that just shows what a lonely and sad person you are. I feel sorry for you.

  • caleb51402

    To everyone on this page…it’s obvious that “Carmen” is a troll. Trolls just make outrageous comments just to get a reaction out of people.

    • Mommawantstoknow

      Like I said, nothing but a pathetic idiot with no life who can’t get attention from anyone in a healthy way so it comes here to get some much desperately wanted attention. How sad!!!!

  • magdiel martinez

    Im the non custodial parent and im paying child support I was wondering is the mother of my child allowed to move out of the state without my permission even if we don’t have a court ordered visitation agreement

    • Step Mommy

      You should go back to court and get a court ordered visitation schedule in place since you are paying child support. From what I have dealt with, the custodial parent cannot move without permission from the non-custodial parent or the courts. But since you do not have a court ordered visitation schedule in place, I am not sure how that will be handled. You can always go to your court office and ask them.

  • carmen

    My response to all of you losers that are angry at me:

    I broke every law, had my boyfriend kidnap my child from his father, fled to another state and hid the child until I got my way. The Oregon Courts got tired of wasting their time on a worthless child custody case and since I never followed any of their court orders and even told them I will not abide by any Oregon law when I live in another state, I won.

    I got Oregon to not only drop all of the cases against me for having my child kidnapped, drop all of the contempt of court orders against me and they even willingly gave up jurisdiction to my state just to get rid of this case.

    I never allowed my ex-husband to ever see his child after the divorce and he still had to pay child support. Now I am asking that the courts take away all of his rights as a father so my boyfriend can be the dad.

    I won all of the cases by either having my attorneys post-pone the hearings over and over until they were dropped or mislead the court away from the petition and created a substitute hearing to make sure the hearings made by my ex-husband were never heard.

    I have never lost even one hearing and to date, I have never allowed the father to see the child, call the child or even show up at my door without filing false protective orders and false police reports against him and kept him from ever seeing our child.

    The stupid guy finally gave up when I destroyed his entire life and left him with no job, no home, no money and no home. He cannot even afford to eat anymore. That is how I punished him for being so stupid and trusting me in the divorce and for finding out I was the one having the affair.

    I don’t see any of you boasting about winning. No judge ever had balls enough to stand up against me and I won total and complete custody by just telling the court lies without ever having to prove even one thing.

    I am just happy knowing that my ex-husband will suffer for the rest of his life for not meeting my demands when I told him to drop dead.

    • Cyberninja

      @ Carmen PLEASE DON’T RESPOND<,,Am I the only one, that realizes that this is The jilted EX. He is speaking as if he is a Woman. He is the Hurt man. Women have a hard time too.

      I received a job offer. I went into court prior to my move. I begged the court to allow me to move,. 200 mile away. I was allowed a temporary move, but had to bring her back every two weeks. We went back to court in front of the judge, after much arguing from my lawyer, I was granted a permanent move, Now I have to bring her back once a month.

      My ex- turns down offers for extra visits. I offered him This xmas he declined, he declined his week in July. I missed one visit and asked him to pick a weekend, and I would bring her he declined.

      He took me to court for a reduction in his support, and refused a weekend visit because I was 20 minutes late. ( I had to stay in a hotel for 3 days until court with my daughter), The referee threw the book at him, she told him to get out of her court, no reduction, his complaint from Jan 2012 was thrown out.

      He just got remarried, I emailed him ( this is our agreed upon method of contact) he gave my email to his new wife and she emailed me two times, insulting me name calling etc.

      Now with HIS game playing, my lawyer is filing a motion to change the parenting time motion, to him traveling to Ohio bi-monthly or half the time, and no summers and no week long xmas, just a few days every other xmas. I followed the law, it has taken time. he is showing his true colors as being bitter and like CARMEN (Man), playing dirty games. But they are catching up with him.

      Both sides can play unpleasant games, But I am a praying person. I give most of this over to GOD and allow the courts to see my heart for my child. I promise, try GOD, get a good lawyer ( or court appointed lawyer) make certain the lawyer specializes in FAMILY LAW. Follow the rules, keep track of what you are doing as the parent, who is trying to follow the guidelines, and if the other parent is a real tool, it will come out in the end. But GOD and prayer is what really changes things.

      Please never ever get upset in court. The Judge, will think you are unstable and refuse you. This CARMEN person is seeing things as a jilted man, he feels that women get their way. I know a woman, who has been denied a move for work, because she can't hire a lawyer.

      There are times when women are told NO. This almost happened to me, if I had not hired a good lawyer, she charged me $800.00, because I filed the motion myself. and I was compliant. But she had to plead with the court and this Bozo, had a PPO that I had against him, from 6 years ago. Trust me, don't make up anything but if a person male/female act up and threaten, PPO, to document the threat. Don't stage anything. That is dirt and dirt comes back on people.

  • disheartened

    This is what is wrong with this system. People like this winning and others being hurt. Maybe this guy was a loser and should drop dead, I don’t know him and there are many fathers that don’t care about their kids. Those dads should have this happen. But then there are also good dads out there that have this happen to them also by mean vindictive women who are mad at them for whatever reason. Mine didn’t like it that I kicked her out and wouldn’t support her and her new boyfriend. So now I hardly see my kids, pay all of my income to her for child support, and my kids have been caught stealing and attempted murder. Now how is that fair to them, regardless of how the ex’s feel about one another?

  • Mommawantstoknow

    Dear Carmen, like I said, you are a loser!!! Karma should take care of you dear. You boast that you win all the cases by not doing as the judge says and postponing hearings but trust me dear, you will meet your match and when that day comes, you will remember today when you boast in the glory of being a cunt. BTW…. I won all my cases, restraining orders, custody and everything and if your ignorant, moronic self read took the time to read instead of trying to show off with stories that are more than likely embellished by 80% so you can somehow feel power and attention you never had. You would know that my question wasn’t about wanting to win custody of my daughter as I already have that, it is because I care about my child and want to set vacations and a possible move away order but with terms that she still gets to see her father because I will not try to replace him with anyone else. He isn’t the best father in the world but he is her father and she knows him as it so I will respect that and let her grow up and choose if she wants him in or out of her life. I do believe though that is because I am a mature adult, with a brain that works properly, something you completely lack understanding of… maturity! You are a scum bag, a douche, a disgrace and I as a woman an ashamed to know you have a vagina between your legs!!! I would rather do things the right way and fight the fair fight, that way in the future I can be proud in knowing that the best was decided for my daughter because I fought the right way and that i have no bad karma coming my way.

  • disheartened

    my ex won custody by all the same methods as carmen just as she said she would. she said she only wanted child support and doesn’t care about the kids, just wanting to make me suffer. she even did the false protective order when the court was about to grant me custody, causing them to take it back. my son’s health is at risk now as he is 8 and only 35 lbs so who really wins?

    • Mommawantstoknow

      Just wait dear, like I said, karma always gets them and tha tis why I choose to do things the right way. My daughter’s father isn’t the best father as I said but I will absolutely not put bad things out there to come back to me and you just wait and you will see… someday they will resent these “mothers” for using the kids as objects of revenge. I NEVER want my daughter to hate me or come to me and ask why I pushed her father away and as I said, she will know who he is in time. He only sees her twice a week and that is enough until he gets the help he needs but as he has made it clear, he doesn’t really care if her and I move away but I will do it the right way and that won’t be by being a childish bully. Wait and someday these… things… will meet the right judge. I SOOOOOOO wish I knew this thing in person so I could show this to a judge and have it put in it’s place. I refuse to call this thing a woman let along a human being. UGH! Disgusting!!!!!!

  • christine

    so me and my x are not together we have a court order & i am my sons primary care giver but i believe we share joint leagl and physical custody , he just startd his visitations in march , well when i took him to ct i filed for sole custody , due to him being in a gang. well we went through mediation that same day of our first ct date , and came upon an agreement he sees him 3 days a week for 3 hours he will gradually get an extra hour every 2 months , well when i filed i also filed for a motion to move out of state with my fiance who is currently deplyoed in afghanistan our review is in november to go over that request well my fiance was not coming back till dec , but he just got orders he will b back in september , my son will be 1 in july ,, what do u guys think i really need some guidance ,please can anybody help , i am really stressin tryin to figure what i need to do or what i should do , of course my sons father is soo angry about it , . we live in california but my fiances main base is in colorado and we plan on gettin married as soon as he returns home ! ? thankyou

    • Mommawantstoknow

      You have to go back to court and file another motion. Maybe you guys have a family court adviser I don’t know what they call it but here they have it. Go to the court and ask where you can get help filling out papers and filing a motion, when you get there explain your situation and see what they can do to help you. If that doesn’t work, let me know and I will see what I can find out but from what I know, you need to file motions in court to have the move expedited.

      • christine

        momma wants to know — thankyou – when i filed for custody i also filed a motion to move i did it all at once .. i was just tryin to see what anyone thought about the situation an what are my chances of gettin granted my requst due to my fiance being in the army an his base bein in colorado an me living in california right now .. ?? we are suppose to go back to ct in november for a review an to go over the motion ??? but since he is coming home sooner now our weddin will be sooner so when i go back to ct i will be married already ..

        • Mommawantstoknow

          You are welcome hun and I didn’t know you are in California, well… no disrespect to the court system but some call California a p**** state because the laws are more to protect the mother’s rights. Plus, your new husband is in the military, that is a given win for obvious reasons and because it is a healthy environment for your child/children. No worries just tell the judge that you guys changed your plan and be humble but at the same time act certain of yourself as a woman and mother and of what you want. Best of luck and let us know how it goes ;)

  • Momma #2

    Ok here is my situation… we have filed a temporary injunction to prevent relocation as my husbands ex wife is trying to take his kids and move 4 hours away to a different city. The injunction wasn’t denied or granted but is pending a hearing date… in the mean time she filed a motion to grant relocation with minor children…. which has not been granted or denied and we countered her motion with a motion to deny relocation pending court hearing. She is set to leave tomorrow… we of course are not letting her move with our children. So how do we tell her that she can move but we aren’t allowing her to take them?

    • Step-Mommy

      Simple… You just tell her that if SHE wants to leave then SHE can, but until you all go to court and settle this, the kids will stay here. If she doesn’t want them staying with you and your husband, then she has to keep her butt there. You can also tell her that if she does decide to leave, then you will also file a police report for custodial kidnapping and file papers with the court.

  • Brien

    Like step-mommy said, do all that, file for custodial kidnapping with the court, except don’t tell her. If you warn her she may not do it or file a protective or restraining order to stop you from the kidnapping charges.

  • Shaynanigans

    no one helped my situation lol :(

  • B

    I live in macomb county mi, I have joint custody of my 6 yr old. Before last aug when I took her to court I had him on average 5-6 nights a week and solely provide private school and all his needs.Sadly she was awarded 3 days a week and I willingly take him most of the time still. I took her to court because of the men that she would let live with her 3 in total since our seperation in 09. She just met a guy in april and he moved in with her last week end and my son tells me they drink and smoke, she refuses to acknowledge my concern , do I have any rights? Is it ok in the eyes of the court?

  • Single Mother

    I am a single mother I have recently moved from Michigan to Missouri… I did check to see what I had to do before moving I also sent off paper work for my daughter’s father to sign and send in to the friend of the court.. Now I also called the friend of the court seeking information about what I would need to do before moving. and i was told and i quote “if both parties agree then it is up to you and you do not have any paper work but if they do not agree then you will have to file for a change of domicile.” and i talked with my ex and he aggreed.. and now I am being told that i have my daughter out of state illegally because i did not file appropriate paper work.. and i am not sure what else to do. i am doing everything my case worker says.. if anyone is in this situation please contact me at my yahoo messanger tweetybeck86@yahoo.com i am in so badly need of advice and what would or could go wrong if i dont get this fixed soon.

    • GeminiNYC

      Please keep me posted on the outcome? Is there I way that you can prove that moving was for the best interested of your child. and you are willing to make arrangements for summer holiday visits? BTW who is telling you that you illegally move? did he file court papers? have you been there for more than 6 months because u are a resident there is so? I am not a lawyer just a parent who need to relocate in the future as well. NEVER listen to COURT FRIENDS again in life they give opinions like people on this site! last but not least go to your court to see can you get a lawyer I don’t know just pray that it works out for you

  • Joy

    I live in NJ and recently had a show cause hearing for my ex exposing my 8 yr old son to drugs and domestic violence between the ex and his girlfriend. I had a full investagation done on ex through child services. He has failed his drug test and also opening admitted to doing drug while have my son in his care to the case worker. Judge ruled supervised visits with ex’s mother as supervisor so far. My question is how do I go about pressing charges against ex for child abuse and or endangering the welfare of a child?

  • maria

    what happens whent the custodial parent move with the child to another conuntry? the noncustodial have to keep paying the money. I am planning to move out of the country, thank you..

    • Mommawantstoknow

      I believe it depends which state you are in but assuming you are in California, he only pays spousal support for as long as you don’t marry someone again or move in with someone I believe he can have it lowered if you move in with someone. Child support it is based on his income so whatever the court set it to be it will be no matter what country you are in. It is enforced however, he can choose to no longer pay it because you are in another country and that would start a process because you would have to file a complaint that he is no longer paying and you have to do that with the court in the city were you filed for child support and where he resides.

  • Clifton

    I had a baby with my ex husband almost 6 years ago. 2 years ago I met my husband who is the Army we just got married a year ago and we got PCS orders to move to Colorado. The “father” of my child is not taking advantage of his rihgts never has for 6 years now. Never has taken him to doctor appointments,come to birthday parties,never calls when he knows he is sick, he just doesnt do anything compare to what my husband does for him. I dont even have his number. He hates me for some reason after I left him for cheating. he devorced me,I just left him. When My boy does go over he is almost never home but out having fun instaed. I have witnesses that have seen this and know how my ex is when it comes to being a parent.I have messages of his own mom and sister letting me he is immature and to let him be. I al ready have a lwyer and now waiting for our court date. What are my chances at winning this case?

  • KAMS

    My stepdaughter’s mother has gotten pregnant again out of wedlock (my husband and her weren’t married either when they had her) and is trying to move to NC to be with the father of this child (they are said to be engaged now). They currently live in PA..but the fiance recently moved to NC. He had lived here his whole life and his whole family is here. My husband, his family, his ex’s family and even my family are very involved in the child’s life and go to as many shows, concerts, sports events, etc. as possible. There are no family or friends down there and we are not in a financial position to fly down for all of her events – realistically we would only see her when she flys up….which the mother is offereing once a month and 4 weeks in the summer. My husband currently has every other weekend and every other wed. In the summer they are week on, week off. Does anyone know how likely it is that she could be granted the move or is my husband in a better position?? Any responses would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!! Thank you!

    • Joy

      All depends on why she want to move to NC. It all has to be in the best interest of the child, will be how the judge will rule it. At least in NJ.

      • Joy

        If the exs can discuss it with no problems and work out financials according to visits then have the lawyers write up an agreement. It’s cheaper then going to court. Best of luck!

  • ABMom

    My divorce finalized on March 9, 2012. I am currently attending an Acadamy and my graduation date is the end of September. I wish to relocate for Job reason but also I plan on getting married in the state I wish to move. I have two children and I have sole physical and sole legal custody. while my ex only has reasonable visitation (which come august 2012 it will be a year since he has seen the kids). It states in my divorce papers that if i wish to move all I have to do is notify my ex 60 days prior to moving…well I did that and up until that point he was okay with the move but since getting my letter he is changing his mind. Im not sure whether or not he will try to stop me from going. Do i need to talk to a lawyer or should I just wait and see if he is going to protest before I take any action???

  • Dad

    I have been divorced for over 2 yrs in CT. My son lives with me full time although my X and I have joint custody. My son goes to her house once week on a Friday night and I pick him up Saturday morning. She also will see him 3 nights a week for an hour or so – we have no set schedule but he is with me 99% of the time. There is no alimony involved for I take care of him and pay all the bills….I have a 2nd home in Florida that we go to often and now want to move to. Financially, it puts me in a great place for I would have no mortgage, and I work from home. It states in my creed I cannot move out of state w-out permission. My x wont let us move – my son is 7 and loves it there as well. Does anyone know the law around this? Like how old does he have to be before he can make the choice? Thanks

  • Cheri

    My husband has joint legal custody of his five year old daughter. His ex is angry at him remarrying and has tried everything to keep him from seeing his daughter (before we got married he was allowed two weekends a month). When they divorced he allowed her to move out of state so that she could be closer to her parents with the understanding that they would meet half way to exchange the child twice a month. Well twice a month became once a month because she couldn’t afford the gas. He even offered to pay for her gas on the second weekend, but it was too much of an inconvenience for her. After we married we were served with a petition to take away his rights and only allow supervised visits (the child lives six hours away). We had to hire a lawyer in her state to fight this. We won and still are supposed to get the child twice a month, but the mother has made this impossible. She has now started scheduling events for her daughter to participate in on our weekends. Since the child is going to be starting school we agreed to one weekend a month visitiation with five days over Christmas and an extended visit over the summer. She rejected that modification and came back with another modification that stated one weekend a month. five days over christmas and five days in the summer….BUT she wants us to reimburse her for gas on the one weekend a month, AND drive all the way to where she lives to pick up the child for christmas and summer vacation, as well as drive all the way back to drop the child off. SHE IS THE ONE THAT MOVED!!!! Why should we be the ones that pay for the transportation? My husband pays all the medical bills, pays his child support, and has even sent her extra money to help her out. so far we have incurred attorney fees of thousands of dollars with NO end in sight!! Any suggestions?

    • Step-Mommy

      Your best bet is to go back to court. Let a Judge decide and if you have proof that she refuses to follow the court order, you can bring that up as well. Your situation sounds almost identical to mine. My husband’s ex is very bitter especially after we got married. She has tried, and failed at keeping his daughter from him. We had to go to court 4 times in one year because she was being spiteful. Just recently we went to court because we are moving across the US and my husband was awarded the whole summer vacation and winter breaks. He made sure that everything was in writing so if she tries (like she has in the past) to go against the court order, he can call the local law enforcement to enforce the court order. I am sorry that you and your family have to go through this. I really do hope that things will work out for you both.

  • Lisa

    my grandson is being moved from house to house by his mother won’t give my son her phone number. She stops him from seeing his son by not calling, she even has the boy call his dad telling him he doesn’t want to go with him but is crying at the time. We are hearing that she is moving 2 hours away can she just do with. My son is calling the police tomorrow because he hasn’t seen his son in 2 weeks and doesn’t know where he is. What should he do?

  • gerry

    Even though she has full custody your son has right to se his son, and if she move she have to notified him, he have to try to get proof that she is not cooperate. If he is going to the police ask them to go with him to your grand son house to check everything is ok and ask for a report that you can use in court, every time your gran son call try to record, some time bad mother put bad thing in childs mine. Hope the best for you all. It will be a long process but don’t give up!

  • Brittney

    I am a custodial parent I hold sole physical custody and we also have joint custody with the father! !!myself and my finance decided to move to Ohio my papers say give 30 days notice what happens if I move two weeks prior tothe 30 days notice being up!!!I live in Virginia and have very little family here and seek to get some support in Ohio financially. By getting a better job and cheaper to live I’m getting harrassed by the father and the litte bit of family I do have here! !!help?!!!

  • hii

    I live in Va and I have sole physical custody of our 2 children and shared legal custody with their dad, but i am getting married to a man in the military and he lives out of state, but i am going to file with the court in va where my divorce was final and custody and visitation was established, to ask the court if the children and i can but they do see their dad every other weekend and holidays, they get a call from him once a week and we live in the same town. I am willing to let the kids be with their dad the full summer and on holidays, how will this situation turn out in court?

  • Danny

    I tried numerous times to come make an agreement with my sons father. I am willing to pay for the traveling expenses, for every summer and spring break and every other Christmas. I want to move to another state. Ive been to court and now we have to see a GAL. He sees our son 2 days a week for 3 hours per day and every other weekend. He works in another state and often goes out of town work and never calls or ask to get him when he returns, in order to make up the days he missed. I want to move for better opportunites for me and my son. The schools in the state where I want to move have excellent test scores, offer many progarms, and I have family and friend who live there. I put and pay for all his activities. I take and pick our son up for school, I help with his homeowrk. His dad does pay child support. I never went back to court for a modication in 9 years. Will the court grant my leave base on his actions.

    • GeminiNYC

      Maybe you have a good chance because he was missing visits! God bless pray that all works out for you and myself;)

  • maria

    what happen went the parent move to another country, like spain. what happen with the child support? the non-custodial parent may stop paying the child support money?..i am confused..help..please..tanks.

  • Kim

    well me and my ex have joint custody with him being primary, and he moved last september and left my daughter here with the gf then the grandparents, i got a lawyer and have court tomorrow, my daughter is 14 and doesnt want to move out of state or be with him anymore she wants to live with me, she gets to talk to the judge and all and our court is tomorrow do u think i will get her??

    • Step-Mommy

      It is a very good chance since she is of age to voice her opinion. There are still other factors though.. Please let me know the outcome, as I am going to be in a similar situation soon.

  • Justin

    The mother of my child & I were never married. She left the state of Florida without my or the courts permission, What can I do about this?

  • Kerri

    What happens if the noncustodial parent can’t be located when the notice of intent to move is out there to the noncustodial parent don’t respond?

    • GeminiNYC

      Kerri take your blessing and go! no questions asks you did your part

  • sandra

    ive been seperated from my husband for a while and he filed for divorce in the state of washington but i currently live in california with our 7 month old son, and thinking of moving in with my boyfriend….. how can this affect custody for my child?

  • Brent

    I have had primary custody of my daughter since 2007. She has everyother weekend , holiday and Mothers Day. She has not payed any child support since the divorce medical ( which my daughter went thru cancer). I work out of state for 3 weeks and home for 3 weeks. I have excellent care for while I am gone.
    My question is this. Does she have a leg to stand on in gaining more custody with being in contempt of court with the no finicial support for our child? Can anyone answer this?

    • GeminiNYC

      Brent, I am not a lawyer I am just a defendant in a custody case in NYC. I was told that I have to be home everyday for the ex to call the children at a certain time when my lawyer told the judge how can I do afford to keep a phone on when the petitioner doesn’t pay child support . The judge said CHILD SUPPORT has nothing to do with custody/visitation. didn’t come to a surprise for me to hear that According to Judge Judy I heard that plenty of time before .

  • Great father

    I am a father of 3 two girls and a little boy almost 5.
    For the last 11 years I have paid my child support to my first ex even though she found an other man and moved to nanaimo on Vancouver island. I live in Vancouver bc. I have spent countless hours traveling on ferries and it has cost me $1000′s of extra dollars to have access to my daughters. Now well 2 years ago my girl friend and I broke up and for the first 6 months did not let me even call my son even though I was paying 2500 a month to her for the first 6 months so she could get on her feet. I miss 4 months of payments as I was sick of paying that much to her as she was and still is sleeping with my long lost brother Craig lowe? He was married with 3 kids aswell. She text him saying leave his wife or she would tell everyone what was going on. Well his wife saw the text and threaten her to leave her family alone. One hour later she text me saying pick up the cats I’m moving to kalowna. So the next day I went and got a exparty order so she couldn’t leave. Then when we went to court they allow her to go because she said I cut her gas off at her home? I dint live there nor do I owe this house or have anything to do with the gas bill. Anyway the court allow her to move so now I have to take 4 days a month off of work to see my and travel 1800 km every month to see him. We just went back to court and the judge basically said she can remain up there. Then my ex told me if you pay me 1200 plus $5000 right now she would think about moving back? I make $60,000 a year and pay 580 to her. What can I do as I feel my human rights and his are not being looked after. O he has 7 nieces and nephews here along with grandpa uncles and antes. Where is his justice tell me is there anything I can do???? He will be going to kindergarden in September and the judge says I can pick him up after school Friday and have him for Saturday 2 times a week. The road is dangerous in the winter and I’m afraid we will die trying to maintain this crazy relationship? I also call him ever single night. What can I do… :-(

    • GeminiNYC

      @Great Dad sorry to hear about your troubles the only thing you can do is Pray. Because I can promise you on my life that when another parent is being EVIL children always look for you when they are old enough to have a say 16 is usually the age in most places. However sad to you may have to wait until then. There is 3 sides to a story hers yours and the Truth. and when this happen they will be closer than you and your family more then ever spending time trying to catch up on what they miss especially if you have a good family. My brother keep his children from seeing their mother and now the tables has turn all 5 children don’t speak to him. he has grandchildren he does not see and they went as far as changing their last name to their mothers maiden name! trust and believe that there are happy ending in life. Hope this helps in some ways or another.

  • a concerned father

    My ex was given custody because I moved out of state and my kids wanted to stay in there schools. I have a great relationship with them. See them a lot and always there for them. She gets support and everything. Now she is moving to SC and leaving the kids with her parents, the kids don’t want to go with her. What do I do now with the support. She wants to just leave everything with her parents. Is this legal or can she get in trouble? What actions can I take in this situation?

    • Jamie

      concerned father…this is easy, push to get them back. If you are so involved with your children why did your ex get custody and not joint custody? An you pay child support and seem like you love your kids. So do whatever you have to do to get them back. Get a hold of a lawyer and fight for them. She isn’t take them with her and that looks bad on her so fight. If your a good father who just wants the best for your children and will do right by them then fight.

  • the child

    I am a teenager, almost 16, my mother and step father want to move away from tn to sc leaving my father, my grandparents, and the rest of my family behind. My mother is my custodial parent, and has been all my life. However, my father has had joint custody at one time, but does not currently. Is there anyway that my father could take over in order for me to stay in tn? What happens if the noncustodial parent opposes?

  • PeaceOfMind

    My childs father is not on my child”s birth certificate. However, I filed for child support and i’m currently awaiting an interview or a court date. They said that it will take at least a year because their backed up with numerous cases. As of the moment, i’m in Florida and I want to move to Pennsylvania. Can I just move and transfer my case or just file for child support up there since he’s not on the birth certificate? I’m doing everything on my own. The fathers doesn’t do anything for my child. He won’t even give her a ride from the babysitter for me. I have a lot of family in Pennyslvania. We will have a lot of support. Plus my cousin just brought a house where we are more than welcomed and the jobs pay more for the career i’m in. Because we haven’t gon’ through family court yet, can I just move? Child support is different from filing for custody for the child. Custody and visitation is for family court. Child support is for the wealth of the child only.

  • brewerr115

    I lived in Ohio and was with a guy who said he was weeks away from being divorced. But was not I moved when I was 3 months pregnant. My son is now 18 months old. We are going through the courts to make him take a Dna test because he refused. Can he get custody rights even though I live in Tennessee? And he is with his wife and they have 5 kids together, how do they determine what amount of child support is to be paid? And will the courts make me move back to Ohio?

  • FloridaMom

    I am a Full Time Primary Custodal Single Mother in the state of Florida. I have been trying to relocate out of State with my Child for years, to no avail. I lost my job after returning from my maternity leave. My daughters father has had little contact with either one of us for the 1st yr of her life. He doesn’t keep her over night as our agreed parenting plan states and has only done so MAYBE 6 times in her life. I have no job, no family here and am living in poverty. Because this glorious state says that it’s in the BEST interest of the child to stay where the other parent resides I have been more or less told by more than one attorney that chances are I will be told by a judge that I am willing to go but my child must stay here. So you mean to tell me that because a part time Dad, who has no interest in parenting other than taking his child to Toys R Us and the movies every other weekend is grounds for “forced residency” or give up my child??? This is an outrage and I am not going to quit until someone hears me. I am asking if anyone else is in my situation and in the state of Florida?? I have many more details that I could share, but space is limited on here. If anyone would like to help me fight this fight or just would like someone who can understand their situation to talk to, please feel free to contact me.

  • steven

    If you know that the father is in the child/s life and is a big part of it, and that it would upset the child to move away….. how is it the ex-husband that is keeping you from moving on with your life??? isnt it you that is stopping yourself from moving on with out your kids? You want to move on and take your kids too, cant have it both ways. Sometimes we just have to finish what we started and if the person we’ve met loves us enough they will understand and work with you. I know cause i have found it. dont settle.

  • Elaine

    Found out my ex was a “white” Tiger Woods right after going through several months of IV therapy for Lyme disease. My son has Lyme also but now my ex does not believe in it because he does not want to pay us anything. Back in 2009, my divorce lawyer’s fees ended up costing me $12,000 but she won $14,500 in legal fee reimbursement in divorce court. She told me she would take out her last court appearance out of the money if judge awarded the amount she asked for. I was o.k. with that since she won a little over. That was 2009……now IT IS 2012 and I have never seen a dime of it. Her bill ??? $ 7500 …..FOR WHAT ??? She made payment arrangements with my ex behind my back and he was paying her $500 per month. Court ordered him to pay me in 6 months. She told me when her $7500 has been paid, she will cut me a check for my portion……but now my ex went from paying her $500 to $25 per month and she is doing nothing about it. I relapsed from all the stress and blew thru my retirement money for more treatment. (most insurance companies do not cover Lyme disease doctors or long term IV treatment). My ex never made any arrangements for getting the kids….never asked what the arrangements would be, and I moved to South Carolina to be closer to my Lyme disease specialist. The court knew about this and approved it. I have physical custody. My Lyme specialist has since moved to Washington DC. In 2011, my oldest turned 18 and he wanted CS reduced but did not want the court to know what he was making. After several wasted trips to Virginia he finally coughs up a paystub. $12,000 gross per month is what he is making !!!! At the time, an ex relative was representing me for free. She requested more alimony as I was not able to fly out and see my doctor. The ex says he has been fired a week later and my lawyer mysteriously quits. I have no money and no attorney. Well judge suspended my child support( I have a 13 year old). Told me to go through DCSE in SC. What a joke. No CS since December and ex calls me and wants to know what school my son goes to. HE HAS FILED FOR CUSTODY ! Last court date was over alimony in January 2012. I brought brain scans, a doctor’s letter, a disability letter, and an expense report showing I am $174 short on affording my medicines…..JUDGE SAYS ALL MY INFO IS JUST HEARSAY ???? UGH ?? Ex now making $90,000 a year presumeably which is still more than he was making at end of divorce. Judge says,
    ” I really should not do this but I’ll go ahead and knock $500 off alimony.” Now I have $1200 per month coming in, no CS, I HAVE TO GIVE UP MY FIGHT FOR DISABILITY, have no attorney or money for one, advised that free legal is way backed up in the state of Virginia…….and on and on it goes. He wants me to move back now to Virginia and wants custody of my son. Why???? So he does not have to pay Child Support. This time, if the stress gets to me, I have no retirement, medical insurance, etc to hold the Lyme at bay. WHAT A MESS ! This man is truly crazy. When I moved to South Carolina, he moved to California with his job but was only there one year. If it were up to him, he would have moved permanently there ! ADVICE GREATLY APPRECIATED.

  • christy

    Me and my exhusband both reside in alabama. We both have joint custodycustody of our 13 yr old daughter. Him and his wife recently went on vacation 6 hrs away. Once back my x decides to bring up in a conversation that he liked it so much on the beach, he was moving their if he gets a call for an interview. Well on the 22nd he calls informing they were moving. He ever asked me how i felt about taking my daughter 6 hrs away, just said they were moving, and asked if i was gonna fight it. I havent recivef any papers to sign, no court date…nothing, and i have not agreed with the move, but he is packing now to leave by the 27th, which again i havent signed or agreed to the move. Laws in alabama stats 45 day notice, but i was given a wks verbal notice. Plss can someone tell me, can he do this? What can i do to stop him? I know hes moving away for a better job, but my child also tells me that he wants to get her away from me as he knows how close we are, that when i get her every other weekrnd, she goes back with attitude. Im a good parent to my children, and dont deserve this kind of treatment.

  • ConcernedFather

    What happens if, you were given poor advice by your attorney to allow a move out of state, so you could “negotiate” for more visitation time, and you find out later that the custodial parent who moved out of state is in a bad financial position, refuses to work, and ha irresponsible relationships, (i.e. men moving in and out of the custodial home). Can you request that the custodial parent move back to the state where the child was raised? Would the courts enforce such a suggestion? If you can prove fiscal and parental irresponsibility on the custodial parents part, would the courts enforce a move back to the home state, so the non-custodial parent can actually be a part of the child’s life and have joint physical custody as well as legal?

    • Jamie

      ConcernedFather,
      I would look around, talk to as many different lawyers until you find one that you can trust and do anything and everything in your power to get your child back. There seems to be many things in your favor such as she has no job and refuses work, that I would assume would be easy to prove by the fact that she hasn’t put anything out there to find a job. An unfortunitly the “men moving in and out” may only be proven by your child, depending on how old they are that is. There has to be something and there has to be a lawyer out there that can give you what you need. Not all are idiots! ;) Please just don’t give up on your child cause trust me when I say they will remember. Another option, if all else fails, move to them. I know it seems crazy to change your life cause you can’t get your ex to move back but if your child is that important to you and nothing else works it should be an easy dicision. But first and formost I would call around and find a trustworthy lawyer.
      I hope these ideas helped.
      Good luck and I’ll pray for you and yours.

      • ConcernedFather

        Thank you! I have considered moving to them, but I make an excellent living here. I will most certainly keep looking for a good attorney.

  • Stephen

    Anyone who can offer advice,

    We live in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula and my wife and I have 3 children together. She also has a 5 yr old from a previous relationship that I have know since he was 18months. The child is incredibly close with his siblings and recently I was offered a job in Detroit. The childs dad shares physical and joint custody and we want to move for the job and retain custody. We are headed to court and we have mixed feelings about how this wi turn out for us. We have a lot riding on this, any thoughts?

  • Sissy

    I am in the ending part i hope of my divorce, my ex signed the papers giving me 100% sole custody of the children and allowing us to move out of state however the judge has not signed the papers and i need to get to the new state to get the children enrolled in their new school. I am scared that since the judge has not signed the judgement that has been in the court for about 10 days now that I will not be able to move with the children out of state. the papers have his and my signature on them stating that he ok’s the move and the 100% sole custody, however they are just sitting at the courthouse, the judge has not signed them yet. Would I be OK to move in order to get the children enrolled into school on time?

  • Melissa

    Hello-I am currently in a position where I live in California and my boyfriend lives in Australia. I am the custodial parent and her father has not had any contact with her or I what so ever since October of 2011. He does pay child support. I am looking into moving to Australia, although no date has been set. It would be probably a year before any kind of decision would be made as I am finishing up my degree. My plan is to move to Australia and continue my studies there as well as begin my new life with my boyfriend. What legal steps do I need to take for this to happen. I live in California and don’t know where to start. Does anyone know the likelyhood of a judge granting this move? Any kind of information would be greatly appreciated.

  • Melissa

    Hello- I was touched by your words. I am in a similar situation but my daughters father has had no contact with her or I since 10/2011. We live in California. I had met someone who lives abroad in Australia and we are talking about taking the next step which would be to relocate there. I had also left my story in hopes of getting some much needed information as to how to get the process started. It’s an unfortunate situation we as single mothers find ourselves in. Our childrens fathers don’t want any or very little contact with them and yet a judge has the right to tell us whats best for them! I know in my situation, my daughter and I would thrive in another country. Our whole future rides on what a judge wants and that isn’t fair at all. I don’t know what the solution is. I wish I did. I’m am terrified that if I end up making the decision to move I will be stopped by the father and a judge, even though he has made no attempts other than court ordered child support to see or contact his daughter. If you have any ideas, please let me know. Or if you are wanting to vent, I am here too.

  • Kate

    I am a single mother of a 2.5 year old girl. We have lived in Virginia since prior to her birth. I was never married to her father. We tried to work things out together after our daughter was born, but that attempt failed. At the time, the father was living with us but I broke up with him and he was sent on a plane with a one-way ticket to Massachusetts paid for by his father (that to this day he has never paid back to his father). Last thing I know, is the joker is living in Massachusetts with his new wife (who biologically could be his mother)…in essence, she is his Sugar Mommy and he is her Boy Toy. There had been a court date in Virginia in 2010 that granted me sole physical custody and granted both of us shared legal custody. The man has not made any attempts to contact his daughter since she was 10 months old. The court mandated that visitation be worked out amongst ourselves, however, the man has not made any attempts to visit his daughter. Even though there is animosity between us, in any communications we have had between each other, I have consistently sent the message to him that he is welcome to travel to Virginia at any time to see his daughter. He has NEVER made the effort. Child support is in arrears and is very spotty. The guy is originally from Puerto Rico, and I suspect that he may have left his wife and moved back to Puerto Rico, although that is just a hunch on my part. He was brought to trial in the courts up in Massachusetts by Child Support Enforcement here in Virginia and he basically got a pat on his back for his arrearage due to tax intercept, of which those monies we still haven’t seen and come to find out his Sugar Mommy wife claimed 1165 of those monies as her own (hence the suspicion that that marriage is probably destined for failure). We started to see some child support come in after that but that quickly has dwindled to nothing. The guy moved without notifying me (twice), which is a requirement set forth by the court. He furnishes me with no phone number to get in touch with him were there ever to be any major decisions regarding our daughter (medical, educational, spiritual, as set forth by the definition of “shared legal custody”. I tried to contact him through email and the phone number I got through White Pages to wish him a happy Father’s Day and we got no response from that voice mail message or that email. Subsequent emails have been met with no response. Child support is basically at this point at a standstill. Over a year and a half ago, I was fired from my job due to circumstances related to the burden of single parenting and I went on unemployment and spent almost 2 years trying to find a job, anywhere in Virginia, without any luck. As such, I decided to go back to school to get my Nursing Degree. I am entering a 2 year RN program in the Fall and my goal after graduation is to get a job that gives me a ticket out of Virginia. I am originally from New England and I find life in the South very stifling and depressing, both for me and my daughter. Schools are terrible and the mentality here is not something I want my daughter subject to. My goal is to get a job out West, preferably in the Seattle area. My concern is the fact that the court decree requires that plans of any move be put in writing and sent to both the court and the father with at least 30 days notice. I know of no employer who is going to wait that long to have someone start employment. I can understand it if the father lived down the street and was involved in his child´s life…but my situation, I feel, is unique to most that I have read. Most in my situation would have gone to the abortion clinic, but I didn’t, and look where I am at? Uninvolved father, little to no child support, but a court that mandates that his balls and his penis be put on a pedestal with the utmost regards in an attempt to make sure that my daughter and I are stuck in an area of the country that is stifling, hot, humid, and full of bigotry. If I see another image of a confederate flag, I think I will vomit. Strangely enough, I don’t think I would even be able to identify a Union Flag if it were amongst a bunch of flags. Reason why? The north does not feel the need to be buried in the past like these idiotic Confederate Republican Anti-Social Assholesl. I DO NOT WANT MY DAUGHTER TO GROW UP HERE. At the same time, the extreme COLD of New England deters me from moving back up there. Seattle, strangely in align with Mass. and Maine on the map is not subject to such extreme cold, nor extreme heat. I think it is a place that my daughter and I could call home. Why is it then that a flight risk to PR currently (maybe) living in Massachusetts could possibly prevent us from moving to a place that would bring a better quality of life? I can tell you the reason. We live in a phallic society that is based on patriarchy and the men always win. Doesn’t matter if they are complete idiots. If they have penises, they ALWAYS win. So what do I do? I know for a fact that this idiot would never allow for a move even farther away from him then where we are now and the courts will side with him saying that not moving even further away from her father is in the “best interests of the child”. So what is my other option? Middle America is even more depressing than Virginia and still farther from him in Massachusetts, so that is not in the possibilities. What PA? A little bit past the Mason Dixon line but still not far enough for me. My mother refers to Pensylvania as Pensyltucky, as many do. It is not quite the south but ferouciously close. So what do I do? Move back to Mass? I can just see that unfold…in and out of courts repeatedly with this joker getting free representation with Legal Aid while I pay tooth and nose attorney fees after attorney because I am the only one with the brain who works. I can just see it now. My weeks will consist of choferring my daughter back and forth to him every Wed. and every other weekend (because he refuses to be a normal adult with a driver’s license and a car)…to find that someday, he kidnaps her. That is the kind of man we are dealing with. A narcissistic sociopath. And the courts? NOT my friend. A ridiculous excuse for an institution. Basically, I know that my goal of ever living in Seattle with my daughter is a pipe dream, unless I can find out if this joker has escaped to PR.

  • Robin

    I’m a 16 year old male from Washington. Recently me and and my gf had a kid. my father decided to move multiple towns away and is allowing me yo “stay just for the summer”. I refuse to move awat from my gf and kid. Plus schol, work, and hospitals are MUCH closer. Is there anything i can do to make it so i can legally live with my gf and her family?

  • CONFUSED

    I live in Beaver, Pa. My child is 3 years old and his father does not pay child support nor has he tried to spend any time with my child. I plan to move to Harrisburg within the next couple months. Next month I can start applying within my company to different positions, there is a really good opening in Harrisburg, Pa. There is no custody agreement, nor has there ever been, we were never married. The childs father is court ordered to pay child support but does not. He has DUIs and many drinking relation fines. I just need to know, if I move 3.5 hrs away, will I be violating any laws since there is no custody/visitation order?

    • Jamie

      I would get a free consultation with a family law lawyer first but I have a similar situation where we were never married and he was barely paying anything in child support. I moved from MI to DE, without knowing this law. My ex did nothing though. He kept telling me he could make me come back and I thought he was full of crap but he never filled anything and I’ve been moved for a year and a half now. Married to a man with a state job and great benefits, which I’ve read make the difference. So I would talk to a lawyer get some free advice and if you don’t think your ex with care either which way & the lawyer doesn’t advise you any other way, then move. Get a better job for yourself and your child & even if your ex makes a move, which I doubt if he owes money, the courts will see all the good your’ve done. I was nerves to move because my ex isn’t a bad guy just a blind one but they kept telling me to do something for myself and I was in love. So I moved and nothing has happened to me. But get the advice and move on from there. ;)

  • Maureen

    I have an ex-husband who has physical custody of our 12 year old son. He informed me 30 days ago via txt message on my phone that he was moving to Jacksonville Florida with my son, his new wife and himself. The divorce orders read there must be 60 days notice for any prospective move more than 50 miles. I found he had a plan to move this past Friday, and as I then informed my attorney about this, Monday, had him served while he was moving on Friday via Marshall to appear in court Monday morning, he left anyway and is in Florida today with my son. What kind of legal rights do I have now.

  • Jamie

    What if you and your ex boyfriend had never married but had two children? Does that make any difference? An what if I’ve been moved for a little over a year and a half, without knowing this information, could my ex still do something to make me come back even if I moved for my husband which has a state job, state benefits, and we live in a house? My ex hasn’t done anything and he may never but what if is always in the back of my mind. I would think because we have a stable life here that the courts would never make me come back. My ex’s life is manager of KFC, living with his girlfriend, which has 3 kids of her own, living in a trailer with his sister and her child. He has benefits, now, but expensive and not very good ones through his work. He’s always working and not a very cleanly person, nor is she. My kids are there now and they’ve had pizza for breakfast & lunch, one day, and cereal for dinner on another. I wish I could get soul custody but the only thing is that he loves them and they love him and even if I could get soul custody I would never take them away from him, I just want to be able to decide what’s best for them. I strongly feel their father is not capable of doing so.
    Sorry, kind of a mess right now with my kids gone for a month. Thanks for reading this and any insite would be helpful.
    Thanks.

  • Jamie

    Okay well I didn’t see your post, Carmen, on the 9th and let me just say I take it all back! According to you you hate your ex because he didn’t make enough money! What is that! What kind of a person are you! He has been fighting for his children for 4 years and never gave up and YOU being a horrible person did this out of spite. WHO DOES THAT! You are hurting your children doing all that you are doing. I was wrong, by your first message I thought you were the victum but clearly your just a vindictive, gold digging, brat!!!! I hope your children grow up to see who you really are and leave you. I agree with Step_Mommy, you will be judged when your day comes. May God have mercy on your soul, indeed.

  • Carol

    I have a question, I only have child support set for my child no visitation has been set at all. We were never married. Can I move to another state without permission from the father? He hardly ever visits my child.

  • Jamie

    Everything that I’ve been reading tells me it depends on the state you live in and what their laws are regarding custody rights and family law. I would look it up or speak with a lawyer in your state. I would speak with as many as you can, free consultations, just to make sure you get the correct advice.
    Good luck to you.

  • Jim

    My ex wife is moving for the 2nd time in 3 years, I moved to her town ending my 8 year career to be with my son, my wife ended her 5 year career as well, we bought a house near my son’s school and have been living there for the past 3 years, after we moved 6 months later my ex moves to another county, now 2 years later after that move she is moving again to another county. I have him almost 50percent of the time and my wife and I are very involved in his life (Cubscout leaders, church volunteers, etc), I also have full medical custody because my ex didn’t believe in vaccinations and I was awarded full medical decision making. The courts required that I take my son to a child pshycologist to be further evaluated because my ex believes that he has autism or PDD, the results of the pshycologist came back neg. and also states in the report of things my son is being subject to, he commented on his little brother keeps him up at night, and he wishes he has his own room (he does at my house), also that he is affraid that something will happen to his mother when she leaves him with another adult in her house, that his brother says bad things to him, etc…. She is also living with the father of her other 2 children but they are not together, she has a separte boyfriend that comes and goes on the weekends. His grades are also not consistance when he goes back and forth, he makes 80 – 90 – 100 on tests when he is at my house and he makes 30 40 50 at her house. this alternates every other week. With all this taken into consideration, is it grounds for emergancy custody order to get it heard before she switches his school or do I need to let my lawyer file the motion and wait for a court date? Please any help or advice…..

  • mommyof1

    My issue is that my divorce was done in Kentucky my divorce papers say I can move anywhere I want to as long as I meet him at a halfway point between Indiana and where ever I live, so that isn’t an issue for me. My issue is I will be missing at least 4 visitations, because he is only allowed one weekend a month and I am going into the police academy. Who do I notify that I am going to miss a visitation?

  • Chuck Sanders

    Recently on an outing with my son he informed me that he,his sister and his Mom will be moving to Maryland in a few weeks. Im actaully torn because i want to be around my children but my ex wife brought a house in one of the worst place in NJ..I paid over 170k in child support and it has been the hardest thing to do..Shes a good mother to the kids , but she is a scorned woman and she uses the love i have for my kids against me. How is it that i handle my part as a NCP but yet you just get up and leave without even thinking abut telling me…they will be leaving soon the very essense and reasin that i live just taken away from me like a thief in the night…I asked her why she didnt tell me and she said your kids will tell you…Damn my Daughter is 14 and my son is 12..Why would she put that responsibility on them. I dont feel that its a preeteens job to tell me what my ex wife has been planning obviously for a while…My 2 dilemmas are if i block the move i know for certain my children will start to dislike me because they are looking forward to leaving the area they are in..and @ if i concede I know my ex wife will keep at a distance and try to make me irrelevant…Im so hurt confused and angry i really dont know whatto do..thank u for reading this

  • calvin

    Hello my name is Calvin Brown. I will get to the point right away. I divorced my ex in 2008 and had full custody of him until she decided to take me back to court. The courts gave her joint custody with decision making doctors etc. She had visitation rights every weekend at certain times and Wednesdays after school. he then would return home with me because i am the sol provider, She recently moved away to Oregon with her new boyfriend and their baby and has not been keeping up with her part of the custody that the courts has decided. She has not made any attempt to come back and see him in almost a year now. Yes there are phone calls but no plans to come see him. I have recently gotten married and we are thinking about moving away from NM to Ohio in the future. Can I move with my new wife to Ohio is the mother hasn’t made an effort to keep up her part of the court custody? Yes the divorce happened in NM. Thank You.. comment please

  • calvin

    Hello my name is Calvin Brown. I will get to the point right away. I divorced my ex in 2008 and had full custody of him until she decided to take me back to court. The courts gave her joint custody with decision making doctors etc. She had visitation rights every weekend at certain times and Wednesdays after school. he then would return home with me because i am the sol provider, She recently moved away to Oregon with her new boyfriend and their baby and has not been keeping up with her part of the custody that the courts has decided. She has not made any attempt to come back and see him in almost a year now. Yes there are phone calls but no plans to come see him. I have recently gotten married and we are thinking about moving away from NM to Ohio in the future. Can I move with my new wife to Ohio is the mother hasn’t made an effort to keep up her part of the court custody? Yes the divorce happened in NM. Thank You

  • Kawana

    Hi! I am about to file an intent to relocate here in Cleveland, Ohio and I too am wondering about how this process will go. It seems difficult from what I have been reading. My Ex-husband lives in Mentor with his new wife and I live in Akron, Ohio with my new husband and we are wanting to relocate because of a job offer, better schools and Low cost of living. Right now my sons father is scheduled to pick him up every weekend but he only see’s him like 2 weekends in a month. I would like for my son to spend more time with his father but he is not going for it. I want my son to spend his whole summer break, Spring and Winter breaks with his Father. Is that taking time away from the father? My son is not happy about not seeing him more frequently but he barely see him now. What should I do in this situation. I am trying to be fair and also protect my son’s feelings in this matter.

  • Bx2

    I live in OR. I have a court order for child support. Which, by the way, was calculated under false reportings. He hides his money. My issue is hes figured out how to work the child support payment system tp pay just what he needs to in order to keep legal action from being taken against him. Well, that’s not going to keep a roof over my kids heads or food in their mouths. I have always worked full time and have never used welfare. I gave up my career to start a business with him when we were married. He took said business and now I struggle for work and he plays games with paying support. I have recently been laid off and rely on his support more than ever. I have no friends or family members in this state so I have no help with daycare or finances. The type of work I do (retail) required nights and weekends, which daycares don’t offer care for. So I have been having to take minimally paying misc jobs for work. If he’d just pay on time it wouldn’t be an issue but he pays late just to make it difficult for me. The order for the last 3 years was 1800 per month which he paid on time mostly. But because I had child support modified due to spousal support ending, he’s now upset and is punishing me. BTW…the new order is 900 per month HALF!!!! Now he can’t pay on time?? I’d like to move to where my family is since he’s not going to be happy until I get evicted because hes not doing his part. Again, he can afford it. It’s just a game. Would a judge take into consideration how difficult my ex is making my life by doing this? Plus my daycare situation? Not being able to find suitable employment? His visitation is every other weekend, two weeks summer, and rotating holidays. Which he is in contempt of a lot of the time as well. I can’t seem to get a straight answer from anywhere…….HELP!!! I can’t afford legal representation either and everything takes so long I may end up on the street with my kids before I can get into a courtroom. Then what do I do? I’d have no place to go. Does the state realy expect me to stay within 60 miles of him as my order states if I get evicted because of his late payments when he can clearly afford to make them?

    • Carmen

      If you are like most women in Oregon and are good at lying and playing the “professional victim” you can be provided with free attorneys, break any and all laws and even move whenever and wherever you wish without proper notification as long as your attorney is a criminal attorney and is good at playing the game.

      If you are honest and try to go by the rules, you will get the wool pulled over your eyes and lose out.

      If you are sincerely attempting to keep the relationship with the father and the child, but need to relocate to survive as well as be with family, I doubt the court is going to go against you, but you have to show evidence that you are not moving for the sole purpose to be vindictive or terminate the relationship between the father and child.

      Victims Assistance will tell you upfront that if you do not lie to the courts, file false abuse reports as well as a false restraining order against your ex-husband, you will lose custody of your child. The idea is to scare the hell out of you in order for them to get the funding they need to fight against your ex-husband and make him look like an unfit father and an abusive spouse.

      Of course, you will required to pretend to break down and cry and also act like you are in fear for your life in order to get the sympathy of the judge and the upper hand on custody issues.

      Honest people do not get ahead in Family Court, liars get it all and if you get a free “criminal” attorney, you will get anything you want, can pretty much do as you please and are above the laws.

  • eb

    i live in pa and i have full legal custody of my son.his father has visitations of my son on the weekends i want to move to west virginia which isnt that far from the father about an hour what is pa courts point of view on this ?

  • Abandoned

    2 weeks ago, my wife left me while I waas gone from the house fishing and took my daughter to Texas..no note, no phone call..just left and moved to Texas to reconcile with my step-daughters biological father (who has never spent 24 hours alone with her). My wife had gone to Texas with her mother about a month ago and took my step-daughter to meet her father after 11 years..I guess they ‘clicked’ because 2 weeks later they were gone.She has not called nor has she had MY daughter (our daughter) contact me but has asked her Mother to relay the news that I do have which is that stated above.She has no job and from what I am told, has been staying in motels with this man with my daughter and hers.I am LOST and I dont know what the first steps are to a solution.I love my daughter with all my heart and we have a great relationship..she wasnt even allowed to say Goodbye to her Daddy…I want to know, what can I do legally to force her to bring OUR child back to Kansas where our home is and has been for many years. I do not want my wife back, she is a liar, a thief, and a cheater..but I know this has got to be affecting my daughter in many negative ways as it is me….PLEASE HELP??

  • ready for a change

    I live in NC, I left my husband on 08/12/10. Are doughter lives with me and visit’s him every other weekend only to watch him play video games and his girlfriend takes care of her while she is there along with her 3 kids…she loves her daddy but he spends very little time with her when she is there, his X-Box is more important amoung other things.My boyfriend and I want to move to PA for several reasons,better job opp’s for him,his family lives there,not to mention a fresh start for the both of us and are kids just to name a few…her is my concern….we are not devorced…there is no custody papers…he pays 200.00 a mt. for child support…””can he stop me from taking her with me?”” bty…he refuses to talk to me except through text if im lucky,even about her doc appt’s with her urogolgist( she has a sever blatter issue) he wont let me get a few things i was unable to get when i left(that belong to me before there was a us) out of my house thats in my name…im not allowed in the yard (per him) ,i could go on but i wont…we plan on leaving in the next few weeks…i have been toled in recent past(by local law enforcer) that if she was there to visit and he not bring her home that there was nothing i could do but also i f she was with me i did not have to let her go….but im talking out of state moving….someone please help!!!

  • NYguyinTX

    I am the NC parent of a beautiful daughter of 18 years. Her mother and I divorced 13 years ago. I had my daughter whenever I wanted and I payed child support. My ex stopped allowing me to see my child after I met my now wife 8 years ago. We went to court to enforce my visitation. We battled for almost 4 years when I realized my daughter was getting physical and mentally affected by the process. The court called it Parental Alienation. Shortly after, I moved to Texas for work I called the court prior to give them the new address and I contacted my child’s school to give them my address to find out she was relocated to a school district in Florida from NY. Now, I cannot find my child. I had her current school report cards sent to me. I have called every number for my child and ex that I had for them. I have written to the address on the report card with no return mail. Mind you, I have been paying child support all along with no complaint. I found out recently that I could have the support moved to Texas but we cannot locate my ex or my child who turns 18 this week. What would you do?

  • Michael

    I am The father of my wonderful 10 month old daughter. I Turn 18 in a few months while the mother is already 18. our daughter is currently 10 months old. i am not that teen dad that ran away, i was there from the moment she found out she was pregnant til present day. My Ex and I havent gone to court yet for my daughter though, but like i said she is my Ex. we broke up about 2 months ago and a month ago my Ex let our daughter go out of state with some family for a while. I agreed for two weeks. turns out she planned for our daughter to stay for almost 3 months. I talked to her and then She agreed that our daughter would only stay a month. i was fine with that until come to find out they cant bring er back to me by the date we promised. they said they are trying but idk. well i also just found out that my Ex is now planning to move to where my daughter currently is and stay up there with my daughter.(i cant go to court until my mom comes back from her trip). but can she just leave like that? what can i do?

  • Henry

    My soon to be ex wife and I are at the beginning of a divorce. The case is still in pending with NO COURT DATE set yet. I moved out and she does not take care of the children..(we have 3). She makes it their responsibility to find their way to and from school ect. Ect. I recently moved from Ca. To Az.(yes I know I have to commute to and from once we go to court to start the divorce) 2 of my children wanted to move with me do I let them. The police dept. informed me that because no court date has been set yet and no custody orders have been set I have legal right to have my children if they want to be with me. She now has filed an “order to show cause” to modify what she originally requested for custody and says I’m a kidnapper.

  • confused

    im still married and me and my ex are separated she took me to court for child support and i have been paying ever since now she wants to move 272 miles away but still in state i dont have no vehicle to see them cause she says we can meet half way is she able to do this and if she is can i have my child support reduced for not adequate visitation

  • Holly

    My boyfriend and his wife are separated, but not divorced, with a 7 year old daughter. They have absolutely no official orders of custody or support. He pays child support of $200, plus covers both mom and daughters healthcare. He also paid her after school program, school lunches and swimming lessons. He gets his daughter twice a week and every other weekend. They are very close. The mother just left her boyfriend of a year and has moved in with her mother. We are now taking care of her 2 dogs, plus we have the house they purchased in their marriage. We saved it from foreclosure, which was her fault. Anyways, now she says she wants to move to LA (we are in San Diego). She thinks she will make more money there, but she has no job lined up or housing. I think she has a new boyfriend there. What are my boyfriends rights? They can not financially afford the divorce right now but he does not want his daughters life disrupted because the mom is selfish.

  • Marissa

    We have military orders overseas (my husband is in the military…my sons stepfather…he has been taking care of him since he was 9 months old…pays for everything including medical). My sons father wants to maintain his vistation he’s over $1500 behind in child support and he wont accept our offer of a longer summer to make up for the shorter visitation (its a 14 hour time difference and a 25 hour plane flight for one trip) My son is 5. Is there anything I can do to protect my sons best interest

    • David

      How is being behind in Child Support correlate to the child’s best interest? Parents with this line of thinking are already not thinking about their child and the long term damage it would have on the child for such a move. The fact that you even mention money in your statement shows your true intent, and the motivation behind that intent.

      • cynthia

        i think she is trying to show his character. I don’t think this is about money.

        • David

          I’m sorry Cynthia, but being 1500 behind in child support shows exactly what about his character? That he couldn’t pay… that he won’t pay? We can only infer. I don’t really see how it would matter anyway. If the child has an established, loving relationship with the parent, then bringing up money to try and support a proposed relationship change with said parent is just plain wrong. You can’t “repo” a kid. We’re not dealing with possessions here. And this is why the court looks at those issues separately. Thank god for that.

          • Nancy Dee

            As she said, the STEP-Father is raising the Kid. a Sperm donor doesn’t have Rights to children he’s abandoned & their Mother is free to Leave. Period

      • Nancy Dee

        It shows the Dad does not give a Crap about the Kid/s. If he was true, he’d Pay …!

        • David

          So you jumped to an emotional conclusion based off of what facts exactly? The step father raising the kid, well it was a packaged deal when he married her, and good on him, but nowhere in her original statemnt does it say that the paternal father is not trying to raise the child. In fact, if we go off what we know, the opposite is being hinted. To put it simply, he wants to be there, and she’s trying to move. It would seem that you’re bringing your own selfish motivations into this argument. Try and think about the child. In the end, they’re the ones that either suffer or thrive from the decisions we make.

          Seriously … Sperm donor? Are you just trying to be offensive? Please, keep it civil.

          • Yelsomg

            It sounds as if you also have personnel issues regarding this as well. So give the Mom a break! The Mom is probably still angry and resentful for the father’s neglect. Apparently, she hasn’t forgiven him, which, more than likely, is the real reason she doesn’t want to accommodate him. As a single mother myself, I can honestly tell you from experience. Sometimes it can be hard to separate what we think is right, from what we know is right. In the end, if she really wants to do what’s best for her son, then she’ll need to start by forgiving her son’s father. Because as he grows up, he can’t hold any resent for his parents for keeping him away, and he’ll eventually develop his own opinion about his father.

  • Sally

    I am a single mom of 5 with two of such are my biological nieces who i adopted along with my then husband of 26 years….I am in a battle with custody….THoe I have evidence that my three daughter have been sexual molested by this demand courts case worker is in his favor…Had 2 of my daughters evaluated by a Forensic Phsycoligist who determend Yes…they have been…I have asked to have the case worker from the court removed from case because he refuses to believe such aligations…Thoe the Forensic believes my girls and the hospitals records where the Dept. of SS took my girls statement says the such, of what he has done to them….Horriable acts…..I have been fighting this case for custody for the last 2 years….He hasnt had any contact with the children..for the first year or so…Reciently I had to pay evaluation for therapy for father and 3 boys,, rcomendation from the case worker and supervise visite with Phsyco to then give his recomendations….NOW that visitation was suspended from the judge…due to physco …case worker is arguing that its cuz i dont help in encouraging my boys to visit with dad….My boys are wittness to his action towards my daughter… But Daddy should still have a relationship with this monster….My boys dont want to see him…I never had to tell them not to they saw how i was suffering…..I have a court date now on September 10, 2012 and had ask for relocating my chrildren out from Puerto Rico to Florida…Because I want my children to have the best education, Being that I cant afford prvt. school due to all these legal expencess…What are my chances……Help…I am desprate….What more can I prove….I thought Forensic evaluation would have done it…I guess. Not….

  • Ex-Armywife

    Ok, me and my ex/husband are both from Georgia. He is still in the army at Ft Bragg. I stayed in NC so my kids could be near their dad, however he hardly ever exercises his parental rights, so I told him, me and the kids were moving home to where we were all born. My kids 8 and 5 years old have lived in NC since 2008.

    I gave him 6 months notice verbally and we had conversation about it as our decree says I have to give him 60 days notice… It does not say written.

    The night before I was set to move, I got an ex parte preventing me from moving. He waited until the day before I was packed and ready and never once told me that he didn’t support the move.

    We go to court in 5 days!

    Is there any way they can stop me?

    He is active duty Army
    I only came here to NC because he got stationed here
    He hardly ever exercises his rights, except this week as he knows we are going to court!
    I have nothing here, my kids have no family here. We are all from GA!
    My kids are extremely close to our family in GA, to include his side of the family!

    In the case where he is active duty army and I’m an ex army wife that wants to GO HOME! Will NC courts make me stay here’? I mean what if the army makes him move to Hawaii ? Hey going to make me move there too?

  • Medic

    Ok so just wondering what exactly is going to happen. My husband and I live in Kansas, he has a son (shared custody) with his ex. 2 years ago they allowed her to move out of state to go to school, with the understanding that she move back last year after grad. she doesnt follow rules and that didnt happen.This past week we heard through the grapevine that she has been living back in ks with his son for over 2 weeks now. She has failed to tell him of any move back here, we are actually very excited to see him more but she has still failed to tell us she keeps making excuses that “oh he doesnt wanna talk to you” or “hes asleep and i believe she is hiding something.My husband should of been the first to know of his sons return but she has yet to send a letter, call or even text …what will the courts do about this ??

  • minnie

    Hey In the state of GA. Do anyone know if the custodial parent has to live in the same county or state as the non custodial parent?
    And does that affect the amount of child support?

  • StevenB

    what if there is no written visitation agreement but I am paying court ordered Child support, Is there any thing I can do to stop my childrens mothers from moving them to another state?

  • JV

    What happens when the custodial parent moves out of state against an Order to Stay, hides the child for four years, then receives a change in jurisdiction to the new state as well as modifies the custody to terminate all parenting time and parental rights of the non-custodial parent, and also requires the non-custodial parent to pay child support based upon calculations from four years ago as well as lies to the court that the custodial parent has never had any parental rights to the child?

    The devastation and trauma that destroyed my life has been so severe that I not only lost my job, my car, my home and depleted my entire savings attempting to locate my missing child, that I have not been able to function, have not worked in four years and still have nightmares about the day that he was kidnapped right in front of my eyes and the police refused to get involved and help the child.

    The original state allowed the custodial parent and her bi-polar boyfriend to kidnap the child and hide the child in another state until they could gain jurisdiction in that state, then they filed for child support in that state after the original state terminated child support after the custodial parent told the judge that the custodial parent will refuse all parenting time of the non-custodial parent.

    The custodial parent did not notify the non-custodial parent of a hearing in another state and the non-custodial parent recently found out about the hearing after child support from that state send a copy of the judgment to the non-custodial parent with a demand for child support.

    Is it legal to change parenting time to no parenting time without reason and change termination of child support for denial of parenting time to force the non-custodial parent to pay child support and be order by the court that the non-custodial parent will have no parental rights or visitation with the child ever?

    The original dissolution of marriage had a parenting time that was always denied by the custodial parent. The second modification was made by the custodial parent after removing the child and hiding the child in another state, however, the custodial parent denied all parenting time as well. The third modification was done without the knowledge of the non-custodial parent and the custodial parent told the court that the non-custodial parent has no parental rights and requested all parenting time and visitation be denied as well as demand child support in the new state.

    According to the court modification, all of the violations stated for all of the acts that have already been committed is illegal for the non-custodial parent to do, nevertheless, the custodial parent violated all of them without any penalty or contempt of court.

    I am not willing to pay child support to the custodial parent that is living with a self-confessed pedophile and allowing this child sex predator to take total control in raising our child. This is like rewarding a sex offender to sexually abusing your child by paying this person to continue this behavior.

    I cannot understand any judge or court or child protective services that protect pedophiles over children. The “live-in” partner of the custodial parent brags to the judges and courts of having sex with the child and they reward this behavior by allowing the child to live with a pedophile.

    Does anyone know if it is legal to have a child custody modification without notification to the non-custodial parent as well as the court granting denial of all parental rights and visitation based solely on the discretion of the custodial parent? Is it legal to force a non-custodial parent to pay child support to a child and deny all visitations as well as take away all rights without any reason or merit?

    Had it not been for child support sending me the court documents, I would have never known that the non-custodial parent went to another state to overturn the custody order determination in another state. Nor would I have ever known about the custody modification denying all of my parental rights.

    I was under the assumption that if either party files for a change in custody or modification, they must serve the other party with the court hearing documents by due process, such as the sheriff or process server. I also found a statement online in a blog in which the “live-in” partner claimed that “they won in court” and was awarded child support as well as boasting how they terminated all of the parental rights and visitation to the child for the non-custodial parent.

    I assumed that since the non-custodial parent refused parenting time, I would just leave them alone and they would be fine without me, however, they keep threatening, harassing and tormenting me even when I do nothing. How long will I have to live this hellish life because of what they are doing to me and my poor missing child?

    Is it truly legal for the custodial parent to terminate my relationship with my child without reason and force me to pay child support, not knowing if the child is still alive or not? I have not see the child since January 2009, when he was taken by the “live-in” partner and the custodial parent, even thought I have been trying to find and visit the child for the past four years.

    • Michelle

      first of all i see no way she can get the courts to change jurisdiction as my daughter spent 4 thousand dollars on an attorney to do so and california refused to give up jurisdiction and because of that my daughter lost cutody of her 2 year old daughter. wow you’re custody case is all messed up. i suggest you appeal this to the highest court because there’s no way these people should have been granted custody in the first place no matter what state any of the parents involved live in. either that or get a good attorney because if you do have one they have no clue as to what they are doing. i am by far not an expert but this whole thing seems wrong, wrong, wrong.

  • Valerie

    do felonys affect a mans rights to a having custody of a child?

    • jsrmfl

      The court could consider a felony or any other criminal history an issue — especially if it’s for a violent or drug-related crime that could indicate a risk to the child’s safety.

  • Jose

    Me and the mother of my child don’t have child support set up and there are no visitations set up either. She usually lets me see my son whenever i ask and she tells me when he needs things. She recentlly moved out of state without telling me until after the fact. If I go to court to get my visitation process started up will that eventually force her to move back to Illinois?

  • Nikki

    My son is 10 years old and his father and I were never married but we were together for about 3 years and broke up in which my son has always had his father in his life. His father and I are both married now and have other children at both homes. So our son has siblings at both families. We have gone to family court and have agreed on 50/50 custody with no child support. We have our son for one week on and one week off and we split holidays every other year. We have been doing the 50/50 schedule for about 2 years now. My son’s father has been working out of state for the past few years and has decided to move to that state this coming summer. I would just like to know what my rights are on the move and get some fair schedule ideas? also wondering what is in the best interest of my son?

  • Erica

    So okay im moving to Florida and he is going to stay in TX he has a right to if i go or not? and take my baby?

  • Me

    So here’s a question for someone: We live in Colorado. My boyfriend has primary custody of his child who see’s the mother every other weekend, they now live within 20 miles of each other and have an amibicle relationship. We want to buy a house together that would mean the distance would be greater, but still within 50 miles. The child would still attend the same school and gets along with both parents and their respective partners.
    Does he have to get permission from the ex before moving? She didn’t get permission when she moved three times, in fact he didn’t get notice from her that she was moving until the move happened. (He knew of the moves because the child informed him in daily conversation, but never let on to the ex as it is her legal responsibility as an adult.)
    This issue is causing a huge rift between the boyfriend and I, our relationship will probably be over soon.
    I need answers NOW, but don’t know where to turn to get the appropriate legal answers. And since I’m not a legal gaurdian, I appearently have no say.
    Please help!!
    Thank you

  • mama3gs

    Was divorced and final in Feb of 2012 we motioned for a modification to the parenting plan due to me moving out of state for better financial stability and education reasons the father was supposed to move as well but decided to move to another state. He has been completely unstable in his relationship with the two children. But now is trying to modify the agreement again for me to move the children back to New Mexico even though he had very little to do with them when he was in the same state. Did I mention he is a recovering drug addict and has moved twice since the divorce but neither of those moves was to bring him closer to his children. He has paid maybe a months worth of child support and calls maybe once or twice a month to try and talk to them on his schedule which is usually when I am at work. Will a judge grant his modification and require me to move back even though the only stability the kids and I have is here in Texas? Any ideas would be so appreciated I don’t have a lot of funds for legal representation and very worried I will have to move back when my life and family is here including my fiance who also has employment here in Texas. Help Please!

    • Nancy Dee

      Gee, my kid’s Father doesn’t call her even ONCE a month. He sees her 3-4 times a year, if at All. I am considering move out of State for better Jobs & to be With MY Parents to help US ..!

  • amanda

    I am currently a resident in tennessee i have joint custody of my three children with my ex husband. I am the primary custodian. My question is im engaged to a gentlemen who lives out of state we are about to be married in three days time. My ex is refusing to let me move. Me and my ex have a courtdate coming up for child support he says if i agree to no support he will let me move maybe but if i dont then no. Our current custody is he gets children every other wknd and every tuesday from six to eight and every other thursday from six to eight on the weeks he doesnt have them on the weekend. He went from october ninth to december thirteenth without seeing my kids and to this day has yet to get them on a tuesday or a thursday as specified in our parenting agreement set forth by the court. I want to move if i get married can he stop me?

  • Worried grandmother

    My daughter was granted a Washington State relocation by a judge. Mind you three Judges later after all the appeals. So my daughter and grandchild moved out of state over a year ago. The father asked for 4 visits by him a year and four from my daughter. (HIS REQUEST FROM THE JUDGE) My daughter has made two visits and him zero. Now he wants to take her to court and make her pay for his travels. She is a young mother and my grand daughter is 2. So back to court she goes. can she be forced to pay for his travels. what can happen in court. He owes thousands of back child support also. She cant be forced to move back can she because he spends his money else where..

  • Mimi

    Hi I’m the custodial parent, i was granted custory of my child without time sharing. The court ordered for the non custodial parent to pay child support. It has been 3 years since then and I have not heard or yet seen my ex.What Happens When The Custodial Parent Moves Away, and the Non Custodial parent hasn’t seen or is involved with the child.Do I still need to advise the court that possibly will move to another state since my husband is a full time and works full time, our plans is to move out of the state but we want no hassle or inconvinience since I am the custodial parent and my ex DID NOT comply with the court when asked to.

  • Cici

    She moved without court permission, she might be able to get criminal record and one year probation. the bad news she might be still the primary custodial.. judges are so biased and always on side of the mother..

  • jane

    What if in my case the move is only 1 city away being only 30-45 min away at the most. Now is no problem becausey daughter isn 3 & doesnt go to school yet but next year coming up shel be starting school.What are my choices to start my life new with my fia cncnce and his new job and future he has worked so hard to give us

  • Sunny

    My husband’s ex wife is moving to florida she currently lives in KY and my husband is paying 300 dollars more of what he is suppose to be paying for child support. Currently he thinks that his second child is not his but we can’t do anything because we need a DNA test and she will not test the child.

    The reason she is moving to florida is because she has family in florida that is going to be paying for her bills and watch the kids. My question is if she moves to florida will we have to pay more child support? Can she move out of KY to another state, just like that? That means we have to take more time off to pick the kids up when we are only allowed to have them 2weeks a year. We live in ND and she currently lives in Ky with her parents. Can anyone give me some input with this?

  • Whikat

    I have a question. I’ve been searching for days, and cant find an answer even remotely close. So here goes:

    I have sole custody of both my kids. Each different dads. I live in Oregon and my oldest daughters father lives about 30 miles from me, in another county. I’ve talked to him about the move and he has shown interest in coming up with a good parenting plan since he would no longer be getting her every other week. He’s even expressed possibly moving to Arizona with some friends, somewhat close to where I am aiming for, for this job opportunity. However, my younger daughters father lives 200 miles from me. I know he would put up a fight and I know I still have to give the court notice. But with him living so far already, DO I still need to give notice, and if he fights it, will it have less of an impact on the judge, or will it weigh in just the same?

  • alienatedmomks

    Ok, dad has primary residential custody/joint legal…however, mom is alienated and not let in on decisions. Dad moved 1000 miles away ( he said military relocation for him to keep his job. I highly doubt that, is there anyway I can get a copy of the order, a copy of the FCP? He is fighting for sole custody. I can tell you the next step…if he gets sole custody.

    • hnewton1988

      Actually my foster parents are military, they give you about 3 days to a weeks notice on when your suppose to be somewhere else. My foster parents were made to move from Indiana to Kentucky, and my foster brother was made to move from Kentucky to Colorado. so it is very luckily he isn’t lying about that part.

    • Michelle

      the courts should have copies of any orders, contact them asap

  • Blaznboy

    I have a question and I’m hoping someone can give me some good advice. My ex-wife and her family are on a removal order from Canada and she’s planning to take my Canadian born son with her. It is obvious that it’s better for him to stay in Canada where he has a better opportunity at a good future. He has a large family here, his father brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles and his grandparents who are all Canadian. She is trying to take him back to Croatia if she gets remove from the country. Advice Anyone? Thank you so much in advance!

  • RRLOV

    Please, need some advise…My fiancé and i have been going thru a very difficult and stressful custody agreement for almost two years and after so many changes made by thr child’s mom she’s intending to relocate him out of the country. Can the mom relocate the child without notifying each other’s lawyer or the clerks office? Should my fiancé sing a settle agreement without any information of that intent of relocating the child? The mother received full custody by default of my fiancé not appearing to court due to some issue with past cheap lawyer that didn’t do anything for him. My fiancé and I have been very involved when is parenting time and child support has always been paid since seperation and before divorce. I’m very concerned how all of this is going to affect us all emotionally because we are very close to him. The child is only 5yrs old and is very close to us. Please some advise, what should my fince do? Should he notify his lawyer of the intent of relocation by mom? Should he request for it to go thru court for an judge decision of relocation? or Should he just sign a notarized letter and not mention anything to either lawyer, or clerks office wich is what the mom is wanting him to do? Please Help?

  • Damama

    Question- I hate where I live. The schools are crap. The neighborhood sucks. I dont want to raise my 4 year old Daughter here. My, soon to be husband, if from down south and has a better job offer there. I am luck enough to be able to work just about anywhere, with my company. We have found a great Condo near AMAZING schools and close to where both our jobs would be…….. My daughters father had weekend visitation (and NEVER takes her) but does see her once a week after school. I have %100 physical and %50 legal custody. He has gone from two jobs and a steady home to being unemployed and living in his grandparents back yard in a shed… I have always been the full time parent and he seems to only want to be a parent when it means he gets to fight me on something. Should I email him and notify him I am moving and we can come to a new visitation agreement together…. or just skip him and file with the courts to move?

    • Elmwood

      You need to go to court. Make sure you have in your records that he doesn’t take the child on every weekend visitation and that he is living in a shed with no job. Make sure that you also want him to see his daughter but he needs to have a place (like a home and bed) for her. That this move is good for her and you because she hasn’t started school yet that this is the best time to move.

    • Michelle

      write and tell him. any court will tell you you have to give the other parent 60 day written notice and also send notice to the courts. i understand you have 100% sole physical custody but i would play it safe and send both him and the courts written notice. a parent who skips with a child is more than likely going to end up on the wrong side of the courts if they dont do things by the book.

    • Fly div

      How did your situation end up? I’m in the same boat now . Thanks

    • deetee

      please share how it happened cuz im in the same situatiin.. really debating now. differance with me is i have joint he is supposed to get her 2 dinner visits and every other weekend which never happens. for a almost a good year straight he did but that only happened when he was with his sons mother. she pretty much made him do his job but every time they would break up or she kicked him out it fell on my daughter cuz she didnt see him after that. he would randonly go mia months at a time then pop up and call to see her and i always let him back into see my daughter. but its been a tear on my relationship. we are 5 years in and hes taken care of my daughter in every way since she was two. he gets angry at my daughters dad because he is alive and well and you feel like its okay to pop up and play daddy when u feel like it while hes there taking full time care for a child that isnt his. (might i add he has no children of his own) now i moved schools that my child was in. i initially changed her kindergarten school to the scholl her dad worked at cuz he said he will get her more. so the first month of school he got her every other weekend, went missing from october to jan then popped back up ( no xmas gifts or nothing) long story short i an looking to move to atl. i wana go to the music college there and just stRt over fresh. my bf/fiance has a job offer from his compaaany to relocate and wants us to come but i feared i couldnt cuz my court order. we look at it like he hasnt seen my daughter since the last day of school in june. hasnt called until i ran into him in aug and he tried to fight my bf i front of my daughter. he hasnt contacted me since then and i saw him in october and he pleaded he wanted to see his daughter abd he wanna try better this time… but rught after that i hear nithing from him again for almost a month and i tried to talk him into agreeing to gigving me full cuztody since we hac=ve a hearing in june. but i felt it made sense to to try to mediate without the court cuz HE knows he doesnt see her or do for her so i figured if you give me that we can work out visitation. he almost agreeed but said he will think about it and hasnt called me back sincce. its been a month.. im just tired of the back and forth for almost 7 years. im ready to start my life without feeling stuck inthe city that does not offer snything and im here cuz i share a child with someone that doesnt even see her. what should i do???

  • http://na tily fordyce

    I went thru this with my brother almost three years ago, now-a move away case. It was the most tragic and devastating thing that anyone could go thru-except for the mother that wanted the move. Her reason, her lover lived in another state 3,000 miles away and she thought SHE would have a better life. The divorce was handled in Los Angeles where they lived at the time. She did not care about what was in the best interest of the child (4 years old). The most insidious thing, the courts allowed the move….It tore my brother totally apart as it did the whole family (Our family). He was devoted to his little girl as she was to him. And now, after almost three years the child still crys uncontrollably because she does not understand why she can’t see her father all the time. All involved in the Family Legal System and the mother should be totally admonished and ashamed of what they did this child and the beloved relationship she had with her father. It is very difficult when you can only see your daughter four times a year because of selfishness and stupidtity! You don’t take children away from a good and fit parent….

    • heartbroken

      If you can prove that’s what she did and that she wasn’t thinking about the child’s best interest he should go for custody of her. I have a guy friend who was married to his daughter’s mom for 3 years. He ended up getting full custody of her and it’s now up to him to let her mom see her. He let’s the mom see her every other weekend but once she lost custody she doesn’t want anything to do with her anymore. The mom used the child as a way to get what she wanted from her dad. He’s a very good dad and would do anything for his little girl including fighting for her for 4 years. The mom was jealous because his daughter is a daddy’s girl nothing wrong with that. A child shouldn’t be put in that position though. It breaks my heart to hear about the dad’s that don’t get to see their children because the mom is selfish or mad that it didn’t work out in the marriage. Anyway, if your brother or family can afford an attorney you might want to think about going for custody. It’ll work in your best interest though if everything is documented. What the child says the mother and the step father say to her about her dad and the rest of his family. If she’s late picking her up. If that’s what you choose to do though the mother could also do it right back if she’s smart enough too. I’ve learned a few things from watching my friend go though this though that you may find things that you don’t want to know. If she finds out that things are being documented though it could turn bad. Eventually she’ll find out that she was being documented but the longer you can go without her finding out the better. It sounds like to me that the child would be better off with her dad then with her mother. I’m not saying that her mother isn’t a good mother but if she’s still crying over not being able to see him whenever she wants it might be for the better. I just wish people wouldn’t use kids like that. Your right you don’t take a child or children away from a good and fit parent but maybe that just means that the mother is jealous that the father would be a better and fit parent to raise her. Anyway, hope I kind of helped if at all.

    • valiant for truth

      It’s an awful thing when people put their genitals before their children.

  • JacobsMommy

    I recently moved back to Ohio from Florida with my now 7 month old. In Fl, I had gotten laid off from my job, could not afford daycare, and didn’t have any support. So I left to Ohio, because I have a better support system for me and my child. I had told the father after I relocated about the move. We had no court orders, and paternity was established. Now he is harassing me saying that the courts will make me return with my child back to Fl, because he filed a paternity suit against me. I have a job here and a better support system. Also my child is only 7 months and his father is a stranger to him. Would they make me return to Fl with my child?

    • JacobsMommy

      I meant paternity was not established

    • Michelle

      because you left without a move away order. they can make you return the child to the father through the court system. im not trying to be a debbie downer but through experience with the courts i have learned that both florida and california are the 2 most father friendly states in the USA. my daughter hasnt seen her daughter in over a year and theres nothing she can do, not even about the baby’s father not letting her talk to her on the phone or via skype.

  • Whitney

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  • Michelle

    we lived in ohio and spent 4 grand on an attorney, the child is in california and they would not provide an assistance as far as an attorney and after paying the ohio attorney all that money he couldnt do anything bc california had jurisdiction and wouldnt give it up and they ohio attorney wasnt licsensed ib california so there was no help available to us and we havent seen my granddaughter in over a year and theres nothing my daughter can do now because we spent all out money on the ohio attorney and now cant afford another one.

  • Michelle

    because we werent then california residents and still arent there is no help available for us from california

  • http://www.savemedaddy.blogspot.com JV

    I disagree with most of the postings on this site. I have abided by all of the laws and it got me nowhere. To date, I have been attempting to have a custody hearing for the past five years. Each and every time that I file the paperwork, the courts will either drop it off the calendar for some unknown reason or the mother’s attorney will post-pone the hearings until it becomes forgotten and gets taken off the hearing calendar.

    She filed a custody hearing in which she did not even have to notify me and won by default because I was completely unaware of the hearing due to not receiving any notice a of hearing. I am now filing again for the third time this year to request to vacate that custody hearing order due to it being awarded under false pretense.

    I have only seen my child one time, for one hour, under the mother’s direct supervision, per her rules not the courts or parenting time plan. I have always been awarded parenting time in which I am supposed to be able to bring my child to my home on weekends, alternating holidays and school breaks, but the mother refuses me any contact or visitation for the past five years.

    All of my parent time plans that she created show that I have unsupervised visitation as well as make-up parenting time due to the mother not allowing my visitation, yet she still refuses my visitation.

    Because she has free attorneys in both states and I cannot afford an attorney, she always manages to find a way to get her way in court. If I complain online like I am right now, her boyfriend will stalk and harass me online as well as print this out and attempt to use it against me in court to show proof that I am harassing them online.

    The only thing that I know I did wrong was to marry such an ungrateful immigrant that only wanted the green card and never loved me. Everything that I worked for and wanted in life, she took away from me, even getting rid of most of it, she just did not want me to have anything or get to see my child again out of spite and vengeance.

    I know now what my own father had to go through because of my own mother’s actions when I was a child. I grew up to hate my mother after finding out she was responsible for destroying our family as well as my father and my life, all because she was a vindictive psycho that enjoys hurting her family.

    My father passed away never really getting to know me or me knowing him, if my mother passes, I really don’t care, because she was an unfit mother as well as too selfish to care about her own child. I don’t want my child growing up with the same hatred and resentment because of what his mother did to his life and his father’s life.

    I better go because the computer is acting up again and I am certain I will see the repercussions of this post online as well as in court.

  • Missing my girls

    My ex has primary physical custody of our two wonderful daughters. I have them all three day breaks, holidays and Summer vacation, with the exception of alternating Christmas and Thanksgiving. I pay child support and feel I don’t see my children enough. Ex lives with her parents and uses my money to buy herself clothes and go out. The children need clothes and hair cuts. Mother now wants to move children in with her boyfriend 4 hours away and is requesting more money and trying to limit my time with the children.
    We originally were going 50/50 and exchanging the children weekly, while we were both living in AZ. My ex lost her job and took the girls to California without my consent. I contacted an attorney and was able to receive an emergency order to bring my girls back to AZ.
    I had the temporary custody of my children for 16 months without financial support from my ex, while she continued to reside in CA with her parents. We fought for custody in court and she was eventually rewarded primary physical custody. She manipulated and sabotaged my house hold thru out the 16 months by lying to my wife, harassing us in text messages, recording phone conversations she had with my children and bribing them with candy and toys every time she saw them.
    She makes all of our exchanges difficult by name calling myself and my new wife. She limits my phone contact and bad mouths me to my children. I am concerned for my little girls futures. I don’t feel she has the girls best interest in mind. She tells them they can jump-off the grandparents roof into the pool, allows them to watch inappropriate content on you tube and television as well as teaching them to bully and say cruel things, such as singing “who let the dogs out?! who who , when someone she finds unattractive walks by. My ex is unstable and has been fired from her last three jobs. She worked two years at each and then always wants to relocate to a new town. I want my girls to be able to stay in one school district and live in a stable environment. I have thought about fighting for custody again, but I don’t want to continue to pull my children back and fourth and have my ex create a chaotic hostile environment for my new wife and I, as she tried to do before receiving the children back.

  • concerned dad

    I am wondering how I would go about getting visitation with my children. They live on the east coast and I am on the west coast.

  • karen**

    i have a question i moved 317 miles from where i lived & my bby got mad (we never went to court or anything for custody) but i want to put him on child support, if i do would i have to drive all the way back there for court? (or do you even go to court??) or does he have to come to the town where i live?

  • Donna

    I notified court of relocation to a neighboring state. I currently live in Virginia. The father (non-custodial parent) will not communicate with me on anything concerning our child. He’s blocked my email, changed his cell phone number, and stopped his home phone voice mail. I will not have this conversation during pick ups and drop offs because of his temper. He hasn’t contested the move, and it’s been thirty days. What next? Do I get something from the court. Not sure what the next step should be. I cannot afford an attorney at this time. I don’t want to make this move, and have him taking me to court.

  • christopher clar k

    I got divorce with my ex wife and in are divorec paper work it says that the ex wife has to tell me when she moves throw the courts and we have 50 50 parenting of the 2 boys I found out that she moved and she not tell me where she move I live in florida in ft Lauderdale what would the problem that the court might bring down on her because she did not tell the courts that she move or tell me I went to see my boys on my vistations of the boys and she was not there and the police where there with me and she was not in the apartment anymore I need to know what might happened to her

  • Rebecca

    My daughter will be 10 in 3 month. Her father hasn’t been in her life for almost 5 years and all of the sudden out of the blue her father shows up wanting his visitations. We only have temporary orders which ended in April 2013 since then his visitations were discussed between lawyers and agreed up on verbally. We do not have standard visitations since he’s been inactive in her life for so long. He has canceled some visits already. My daughter does not like going on her visits with her father. She asks every time do I have to see him, I don’t want to go. It breaks my heart because she was happy before he came back into her life. She has a daddy that has been here for 5 years. When her father broke her heart at 4 my husband steeped in and picked up the pieces. Since we only have temporary orders no final hearing date and my daughter hates being with him can’t I just move wherever I want. It would be in the best intrest of the child. She is so unhappy I want her to be happy again.

  • Jr

    My ex has full custody of my 6 and 11 year old. Our marraige was tumultuous to say the least and after my disabled son passed,I held it together for about a year before the medication my Dr prescribed me pretty much turned me into a zombie. Also one time I was intoxicated in from of my kids and my counselor at times had to call CPS on me because I admitted it to her because I felt so bad about it. Basically I was grieving the loss of my son whom I took care of 24/7 for three and a half years. 23 hospital stays, meds constantly I did it all. I was sober for 10 years. Because I have past history of alcohol/drug abuse and I lost it he holds it against me. I wanted to leave because i was miserable with him, had little money or resources, and he basically said there’s no way I’d get custody because of my past, I did what I thought was right and gave him custody, I do not pay child support but was taking care of them during the day and summers for four years. Also I was on SSI. I have been clean for almost eight months off of everything. No meds, alcohol, drugs nothing. My ex constantly bad- mouths me in front of my kids and won’t let me even take them to we’re I live. I’m a good parent. I love my children, they are my life. I regret the fact that I could not hold it together and pretty much let them all down. But I am different now. I now work over full-time, completely managed to get off of SSI. I have a good job, but not much money for daycare. My children are constantly telling me about the bad things he says about me and it hurts them a lot that he does that, because they know I am not the same as I was. My basic question is, what can I do? Will I always be judged by the court system because I had problems and had to give up custody initially? Also I’m engaged to a man that lives out of the country. What’s to stop him from totally not letting me see my kids at all if I move to make a better life? I feel stuck because he is stuck in the past and my kids are the ones suffering. He says he’s such a good father but has no regard for my children’s feelings regarding their own mother, even though I have asked him repeatedly to stop. I want at least partial custody, and he keeps saying hell do whatever it takes to keep that from happening, even though he knows I’m different now. Seriously, some real advice would be appreciated. If I’m such a worthless shitty mother as he tells my children I am, then why did I basically do everything in terms of care of my children for years and years? Why am I clean and sober? Working decent job( in Adult Foster Care field) and all of that? Because I lost it over the death of my child? It’s not fair and I’m frustrated. Suggestions please?

    • Jr

      I’m sorry but I was intoxicated *one time, not times. Sorry for mistype.

  • Jr

    Also I forgot to mention. When I did drink occasionally after I left, it was never around my kids. It was on my own time. But he is mad that I did used to do it. Regardless of the fact that they were not there. But like I said, that’s not even the case now.

  • jazz

    What if the other party (non custodial) is a grandparent.

    • Sofia

      That’s what I’m saying?

  • Confused Mom

    I am recently divorced with 2 children. My oldest just graduated HS so custody doesn’t affect he but my youngest is only 12. We were divorced in GA as we all resided there once upon a time. With everyones permission I relocated to NY and my ex has been working/a resident of ND since 2011 although he file in GA 5 months after he left. Now I reside in NY and he resides in a travel trailer on a construction work site and has visitation with my son for 2 weeks this summer. I have no physical residential address on him and he wants me to place my son on connecting flight from NY-ND. Do I have to send the child alone or is my ex required to pick up my son at my front door so we can all ensure the child’s safety and that I know he is going with his father. I do not want to turn him over to strangers or an airline I want to know he is going right to his dad and want to know that his father has a secure safe resident for my son to stay at versus a construction job site/man-camp in the middle of nowhere with little to no phone service.

  • help!

    I’m In a relationship with a ma nwho has a child with another woman she recently left state without informing us and there’s no custody agreement. we live in pennsylvsnia have no idea where she left only rumors of where she may have gone(possibly portland oregon) and his 12 year old has been telling us about wanting to come live with us now we don’t know what to do can anyone help? We had no warning what so ever she was doing this.

  • CATX

    We have a temporary custody agreement in Texas. The mom just left the country, and may not return for over 8 months (not for a job or the military or the care of a relative). Before she left, she was not exercising her visitation rights. Does her leaving the country constitute abandonment because the kids are with a parent?

  • Flydiv

    Im from California . I now live in Dallas tx . I’m married with 2 kids between us and one 12 year old step daughter. We have primary custody of her. I want to move to Southern California with my family for better job. How hard should I expect it to be with the father. Also the child wants to move with us . Thank you

  • Ris

    I have a question and if anyone can give any advise, it would be really appreciated. So the situation is that my boyfriend and I have been together for four and a half years. He has a child with another women and they have had a custody/ child support order that just came up on its three year review. The orders were done in NJ because that’s where her mother lived at the time. Well about a year and a half ago she moved back to PA (where we live) but for some reason the order is still in NJ. Now I’m positive she never told them she moved out of the state. I’m just wondering if things could be done in PA, my boyfriend really got a raw deal he has to pay her like 500 dollars a month and does everything for his daughter. This woman is a disgrace, she is supposed to have her more than we do( as per the custody arrangement) but we have her all the time. I always watch her( even when she’s supposed to have her…god forbid she would have to find a babysitter) Anyway my boyfriend never says anything because of course he wants her as much as possible, I just don’t think its right that he pays this woman all this money but his daughter is with us most of the time. I don’t know what to do

    • tommil

      your boyfriend can submitt the overnights stays he has with his child to the court and they should adjust his child support accordingly. and yes they should be able to have the process go thru the PA courts if that is where the mother resides. have him doument all the time that he has his daughter also.

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  • lindsey

    I have a better job opportunities in another state and I have joint custody I know that my sons mother isn’t going to agree with the move and she doesn’t follow the visitation so its hard to keep my son on track because when she don’t come he’s unfocused how do I get the courts to agree with the move

  • BrandiCandi

    I am desperate for an answer to my question. My ex and I live in Western Kentucky, about 52 miles apart. We have had joint custody (I am the primary custodian) with standard visitation since our 7 yr old son was a year old. He has 3 other children in which he has very little to do with and I have 3 children, all in which live with me. He has recently gone thru drug and alcohol rehabilitation, now lives with his mother and just now, after a year, has gone back to work at a gas station. I, though not perfect, do have a college diploma in Medical Massage Therapy as well as own a traveling “build a bear” type business. My husband (25) and myself (30), tired of struggling, tired of the lack of opportunities in small town Paducah, KY, has decided the best course of action would be for my very fit, mechanically inclined husband, to enlist in the US Army. However, since everytime I turn around, my ex wants to take me to court (the last time because I wouldnt bring our son to see him in REHAB an hour away), I know he isnt just going to agree to let me move when my husband gets out of basic and AIT and gets his first orders and is stationed somewhere (hopefully where we can follow suite). I just want to know what my odds are of being allowed to move, perhaps on a semi regular basis, with my child. I have done some research and have heard horror stories. I understand a lawyer is who I need to speak with, but as of right now, that just isnt financially possible. Considering my son has only had state medicaid insurance his entire life, we have always been on food stamps, have lived in government housing, neither me nor his dad has ever been able to give him more than his basic needs, surely the judge would see that us going with my military husband, having military health insurance and benefits, guaranteed pay and the opportunity to live in another area with more possible job opportunities for me as well, would be in my childs best interest rather than staying here in desolate western kentucky!! Not to mention, the ability to possibly travel the world, see places they would normally never have the chance to see, become cultured (we would like to be sent to europe at some time, if at all possible) (yes, I know, you go where the army needs you to go, thanks) I have tried to make my sons dad realize that this is whats best for him, getting him out of this area and giving him the chance at a real future. I have offered to him, to let me have legal and physical custody of him, he wouldnt have to pay child support anymore and we could work out visitation where he is still in his life. But he seems unwilling to let go of what control he has over the situation. Instead of thinking about his son, he is thinking about himself. He told me, “you didnt grow up not knowing your real dad. your opinion in this doesnt matter” But the thing of it is, his other 3 children dont know him at all. I just dont understand why he is being like this with MY son! Anyway, any suggestions or advice would be lovely. All we are trying to do is have a better life for ourselves and provide a better life for our children. What do you think?

  • dazed and confused

    Does a man have any rights if his live in girlfriend of 10 years, mother of his 2 kids decides to pick up and move out of state?? I am on the birth certificate of both children as there paternal father.

  • curious

    In June of this year, my ex-wife and I filed an amendment to our divorce agreement. The reason being that she was moving north almost 2 miles away. It turns out, she never moved there. She moved south instead. Since the court documents are erroneous, does my ex need to refile with the courts with her proper address? I ask because it has an impact on the exchange of our daughter, who I have full custody of. She sees her Mom every other weekend.

  • maria

    Hi i would like to have advised i was living in Utah with my baby’s daddy we were never married no court order he was never in her birth certificate so i was living with him only like a 1 year but it was a nightmare living with him, first i would like to start saying that unfortunately his dad kill himself in front of him when he was 16 years old he is now 30 years old and so he’s been in a lot of trouble emotional everytime he gets angry he used to hit his head on the wall of the apartment where we were living when i was pregnant always he treating me that he was going to kill himself i couldnt even eat what i wanted because he was always saying and trowing my food away telling me that i eat wrong and he trowed my food away controlling me also he did had a fight with his mom when he was not with me and got in jail both mom and son, got lots of criminal cases like assault and domestic violence in arizona lots of things so im from Puerto Rico and it was like 5 years i didnt see my family and dad so i decided to go an visit them when my baby was 6 month to PR just bought my ticket round trip expecting to be back after 2 weeks but my baby’s daddy started to call me in PR telling me that i should stay that he was going to kill himself and one day this is when i got scared he call me late and started telling me that he was going to comit suicide that he was in the car smelling monoxide carbone and that he was going to die and i put the speaker so all my family listen so then after that his mom started calling me saying everything was my fault for living and so they started to talk back to me cursing and just treating me so i got scared and decided for the health of the 3 of us to just stay with my dad and family i was born in PR and grew up there and my family love us im studying now with good grades and live with my grandma she is a retired doctor and im very happy now i have to go back to Utah for a domestic violence against him which he dont know im going to be there also he filed as soon as i got to PR a motion saying all kinds of lie requesting full custody and that he never had a criminal case and surprised he has a bunch that i never was even aware. thanks now the problem is that i want to have jurisdiction in PR and Utah i dont know how to do this someone can help me thanks.

  • maria

    I Need to specify since i live in PR 7 month already i need to know how can Utah released or grant the jurisdiction to PR instead of Utah i do hired in attorney but now he is saying that is going to be difficult that Utah has the jurisdiction and since he is the dad he has a right but im going in march to testify against him from domestic violence that police came to my home and saw all the walls with holes because he hit the wall with his head and plus i was with my 2 girls his baby like 3 month and he always abusing of us so they charged him with domestic violence in the presence of 2 minor assault the complex where i used to live charge him. So what should i do because since i came to PR Utah granted me a protective order against him and they even send it to me to PR and also i want to keep my case in PR where i do have all the support of my family i’m in peace my girls are so happy because i do have one of 5 years old which is not his but my daughter always was scared of him and i do have lots of witnessed of my life with this person. thanks let me know

  • Shirley Gosselin

    Im getting custudy back of my 14 yr old which is a 8th grader at north Ridgeville middle school I live out side their district and want to put him in open enrollment for the 9th grade they are tellin g me they are full at this time but my son is in their school now so there for he is already on a list for the next school year, is there anyone that has any answers on what to do in my case

  • Sheenia

    Hi I need some advice. I have three children whom I have full custody of my daughter and joint custody of my two sons. Their father has temporary custody of them. We have been going to court for custody and visitations for five years now and he is not willing to let me have them back in my custody for his own selfish reasons. My question is would it be considered kidnapping if I left with my son’s and moved out of town without his consent?

  • Nick

    I have been divorced since 2009, and my ex decided not stay in the house we purchased together, leaving it to me. I currently live there with my current wife, step-son and daughter, and do not plan on moving any time soon. We have a 6 year old daughter together, joint custody of her with primary custody being with my ex. I have lived in my home since i moved back in after the divorce, while she has moved 3 different times in 5 years, moving further away each time. The first place was only 10-15 minute drive (non interstate), to a 45 minute drive (interstate), to an hour drive (interstate) where she currently lives. She is now engaged and is planning on getting married quickly and move over 2 1//2 hours away (interstate). She has always lived in the same city, so an hour drive hasn’t been too bad, but now she is wanting to move to a completely different city because her fiance is purchasing the home he grew up in. I currently get to see my daughter after school on Wednesday evenings, where she stays overnight and I take her to school on Thursday morning.

    With her wanting to move so far away, I will not be able to see her during the middle of the week (which i have had as an overnight visit since she was 6 months old), and will now be receiving her even later on Friday’s for weekend overnights and leaving earlier on Sunday’s to prepare for her next day of school. She has a great job in the city we currently reside in, and isn’t moving because of a monetary increase or a better job.

    Are there any restrictions I am missing that can prevent her from moving so far away because it hinders and harshly effects my relationship with my 6 year old daughter? It would cause a strained relationship with my daughter to spend less and less time with me and my side of the family, which includes her step brother and half sister. The best interest of my daughter is my only concern. I feel my ex and I have a good relationship, but it does have its moments where it is extremely rocky because of our differences in opinion. Thank you for your responses and advise, in advance.

  • dad

    my daughter had twins in wv she wants to move to md the state says if she does the state of wv will come down and take her children
    without court approval is that possibe

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  • AW

    The Michigan courts allowed me to move to Illinois 2 years ago with my son. Do I need to get permission to move to another state if I want to?

  • mama

    I live in ohio and I want to move to pa can I with my husband consent

  • Joanne

    If my niece gets temporary custody of her daughter can her husband stop her from moving to Penn. She is living and working in Va.

  • JO

    I Live in Miami, Florida with my two little boys, My ex and I divorced in 2010,joint custody, I am primary … I want to relocate to Scottsdale, AZ with my boys for a better living, new job, more money offered and my older son (9) has PDD-NOS mild form of Autism, and I have researched better schools and programs than in Florida overall. How can I get the courts in Florida to rule in my favor to move; and do I risk loosing my child support?… If I can prove the Schools and benefits in Scottsdale, AZ are better for my son and overall living will improve for all three of us? will that be enough? I am scared to even begin the process, I need to at least have some assurance I have something concrete to stand on to jump off and fight for us to be able to leave… ? HELP (ps- my ex is a good dad, child support never an issue however, he will fight back)

  • Jennifer Belisle

    I have phyiscal custody of my two girls and their dad lives in cali.. We just recently moved from one house to another about 13 miles from each other.. Do I have to answer his questions of why did we move, and whom is living with us? We have been divorced for 3 years.. He has a cell phone whom he is contact with the girls all the time, I do not feel he should ask them nor I why we moved and whom is living with us.. I do realize he has to have their address but other then that it is none of his buisness.. please correct me if I am wrong

  • Veronica Jones

    I have a situation that i need some advice on. My husband of almost 8 years and i are currently going through a divorce. We share a son together and our marriage as well the the relationship between him and our son has been strained. He hardly sees him and there is no visitation in place in the divorce papers. He pays court ordered child support and we share legal custody with me having primary physical custody. He has a known drug user/dealer living with him and therefore is not allowed to have his son over to his house. I am wanting to move back to Lincoln, Ne from Yankton, SD where i have lived for the past 2 years. He has seen his son maybe once in the last 3 months on is own accord. I’ve never told him he can’t see him, just that he can’t have him over to his house until he kicks the junkie out. He puts other people and things above his own child and has made it clear to me that he refuses to be a part time father so if i move away again he won’t want anything to do with his son. What steps do i need to take to be able to legally take my son with me when i move? I’m wanting to leave in the next week or two. I’ve consulted my lawyer about this but she hasn’t gotten back to me and it’s been over a week now since i first contacted her. I’m hoping someone can shed some light on this for me and maybe help me to know what i may have to do so i don’t get into legal trouble for taking my son with me out of state. I have family back in Ne as well and no family here. I moved here so my soon to be ex husband could be closer to his other bio children from his first marriage. Thank u for any and all advice.

  • Lu

    I am in a difficult situation with my ex husband. Since our divorce 2 years ago we have a semi decent relationship. I am civil and continue to do everything for him because I still love him and because I know it makes my son Happy. With that being said, our court orders specify that he gets visitation on the 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekends. Well I have no intention of ever keeping my son from his father so in order for my son to see his dad whenever he wants I chose to move 2 blocks west of his house. I did this so that my son can ride his bike to and from our houses if he wants. Well its been two years and his father hardly ever see him. He has yet to see him on scheduled visits much less any other time. If my son rides his bike to his father’s house his father sends him home. He has to call or let him know ahead of time if he wants to go over! Absolutely infuriates me because it hurts my son so much. Last year my youngest stepson graduated high school so it left him having 1 dependent. So my attorney and I filed for a support modification. He counter suited with a Residential restriction and it was granted. I had a job offer closer to my family and I had to turn it down because of this. He Never spends time with him much less see him!!! What can I do? What will happen to me if I leave with my son??? I even requested that he not pay any support since it upsets him so much. I asked that he not pay anything, I can take care of my son myself, in return he drop the Residential Restriction.
    I need help!!!

  • zach

    I am 19 years old and I have been fathering my. 17 year old ex girlfriends son since the day he was born and he is 3 now the real father denies any relation to the boy.. we seperated about a month ago and she wont let me see my son, she is completely unstable mentally and financially. Is there any way I can get legal gaurdianship of him with me not being his biological father?

  • what happen to fathers rights

    my ex girlfriend and I have a son he is 3 she decides back in December that she is moving out of state well I moved and had my address forward remind you I just moved across town and my ex has been to my house several times to pick up my son from a visit well her attorney sent me not a certified letter but a letter to me and now an ex lawyer an letter saying she wants to move but I didn’t get the letter and my attorney did not let me know. she went to court and everything without my knowledge and was granted the move is this legal or should I received a certified letter? Now she is taking my son (my whole world from me ) almost 11 hours away and the new attorney says this is a rule the judge has to abide by since I didn’t respond in 60 days and my sons mom new where I lived and never once knew about this im a desperate dad gonna miss my son terrible

    • No Such thing as Father’s Righ

      I hope everything went well for you. I might be going on that same road soon too.

  • betiel mehari

    my child mother had full custody and she was allows to move to Florida and i have visitation But 7 month later she moved again to Minnesota with out telling me and found out the day before i was moving to Florida. what are my legal rights? not that it has been 6
    month In Minnesotawho takes the jurisdiction

  • brian

    well im married to a filipina she is married to me here in las vegas we had a child together her in las vegas unfortunatly the immigration denied herpermanent residency here in the usa she was declared to turn herself in but instead i sold everything i owned and set her and her two kids and my daughter back to the philipines untill i can come back and get my life back in order i will send for my daughter with a visitation she agrred on of course not on paper because of course i wasnt thinking there was gonna be a problem with it, but now the mom is holding me from my daughter im not divorced to her and have been sending support everymonth no miss and she has had a boyfriend living with her since last year i just found that out recently and im supporting the boyfriend, also and his drug problem whatever sort of drugs he is involved with im not sure my connections have met him and know what he is doing, but they dont know my connections there, i have full rights over my daughter she was born here in las vegas nv and im the usa father, what are my chances of getting my daughter back she has allready over stayed her stay that of course im gonna have to pay for i have a power of attorney over her the spa is there would appreciate all the info i can get on this matter

  • Elizabeth Esquivel

    I left nc , 5 month’s ago . Opened a child support case in dic 2012 .. and nothing happened so i totally forgot about it and move from fl . No i received a letter from child support in the state of florida trying to locate me … after all this time what’s the matter ????

  • meg

    I am moving a 30-45 minute drive from where my ex lives and he is saying now I have to do the drop offs and it isn’t going to be split . just me every time . is this how it works?,help please

    • Me

      In Indiana, you have to split the commute up to 100 miles. My ex moved 2 hours away a few years ago and so now we drive every other weekend.. I don’t like the 4+ hours my son is on the road every other weekend, but unfortunately since we didn’t raise a stink back then, we have to do the commute now :(

  • Help me

    I am wanting to move out of state with my daughter who is 12. We both would like to move closer to family it is just her and I now where we live. Her father lost his job in November 2013 and may the choice not to see her. His girlfriend at the time gave me the heads up that he told her was planning on not see our daughter for a while. So when his week day evening came he never showed the next day was his Thanksgiving and he never showed for that either. She hasn’t seen him since middle of November. The phone number I had for him was a company cell. When he lost his job for inappropriate usage of company cell phone I lost my means of getting a hold of him. I also found out from the girl friend they were looking for him to repo his car which he got in March and never made a payment. Which they finally found his car and took it back. The last child support payment I received from him was at the end of November. In our court papers I am to give him a written certified letter in the mail letting him know we are planning to move out of state. I have no clue where he lives I do know he still lives in the same town as we do to. I have no clue where he works if he has a job at all. I have no way of contacting him. I tried to reach him through facebook asking him for his mailing address and he has yet to reply with his mailing address. I can see where he has read my message that I have sent him. I will wait a couple of days and ask again. I also contacted one of his family members on facebook asking for his mailing address. They to have read my message with no response. So how am I suppose to give him a 30 day written notice that we would like to move if I can’t find him.

  • I need advice please

    My baby girl is 8 months old and her father and I didn’t really have a relationship prior to her birth. The pregnancy was, sad to say, an accident. It wasn’t until she was about 5 months that he started to have regular visits with her. He buys her diapers and formula whenever she needs it and some other stuff when he has the extra money. He only sees her about once every 1 to 2 weeks. We don’t have any court order for visitations, he’s not on the birth certificate, and I’m not going after him for child support. I want to move out of state to where I’m originally from, we live in Nevada right now. I will tell the father that I’m leaving with her, but I need to know if there’s any way that he would be able to stop us from moving?

  • Angela Smith

    My child’s father moved to another state and he refuses to comply with the visitation order. I’m a quadriplegic and I don’t have any transportation plus he lives over 1,000 miles away. so I’m not able to pick her up. Could the court order him to move back closer to me? If so, what steps do I need to take to get that ordered? I need some good advice. I’ve only seen my child once in two years.

  • solymar4

    I have a question I filed for divorce last April 2013 I have legal and physical custody of my 12 year old n my 13year old my divorce was final last year my ex husband has visitation n I get child support from him but is not all the time that I get it is when ever he feels like sending it to me..the big question is that I need help with is the papers I got from my divorce last year expired this past april 2014 n I never got any paper work from court …so I’m trying to move to Dallas n I wanna find out if I could move with out saying nothing I feel that I shouldn’t have a problem he gets his kids every other weekend n sometimes he don’t even wanna deal with them..
    So I was wondering if I could move out.of state
    HELP ANYONE COMMENTS PLEASE THANKS

  • Mary1978

    I have a questions I have a 12/13 year old boy n girl I have legal n physical custody of both of them my divorce was finalized last April 2013 the divorce order was only temporary it expired this past april he get visitation with the kids every other weekend but sometimes he won’t take them n there a child support order but I never see the money because he sends it when he feel like it.
    The big question is can I move.out of state the court order expired this past april so I’m trying to figure out if I could move to Dallas with my children with no problem
    CAN I GET SOME COMMENTS ABOUT MY SITUATION PLEASE
    THANK:)

    • Me

      You need to check your county rules/reg’s. You can easily google them

  • Daniel Meranda

    I have a son whom I don’t see or hear if he’s ok. He’s only two months. Couple weeks ago the mother punched me leaving a black eye and cut on my cheek with a bite Mark that is now a scar on my back. While that happened I was holding my son and she hit him also. The mother has a,records of fighting. The dad can’t afford anything abd they live on others moving constantly. No water little food. Long story short I have more than enough reasons why my son should be with me. The lawyers say I have more than a great chance of winning. The question is……Will I get him abd how long will it take

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  • brad

    can my wife leave the state of ohio with my child before filing for divorce, and file in a different state?

  • red fern

    The mother (custodial parent) has moved 60 miles away to another state, has lived there a year with the children, visitation has been maintained with the father. The mother has decided to home school the children, which laws does she need to follow, the state she now lives in or the state their custody case is in?

  • blaxican

    i joined the military 9 yrs ago when i found out i was having a child so i could better take care of my son when it was time for me to go to boot camp the mother of my child decided she wanted to put me on child support since i would not be around to help her anymore when i left and we were no longer together. when she tried the courts told her she had to wait until i returned since it was to close to my leave date and i would not be able to come to court. so i left as scheduled and while i was gone she moved to Florida in the beginning i was a little hurt and it was hard to maintain a relationship but i continued to send her money even though everyone told me i shouldn’t after a while things got better and i still to this day continue to send her money every month with no courts involved and i usually fly him out in the summers since its the only time hes not in school and can take the trip but every now and then she gets mad and threatens to put me on child support because of whatever mood shes in and wants me to send more then i sometimes can afford to. to be completely honest i have never been a fan of child support it was always seen to me as something needed for parents who did nothing for the children and im contempt with giving money on my own what should i do and am i in any danger from this??

  • pryscilla

    My realtionship with my boyfriend is great but he has a son and he’s mother came back in their life threatening to take his son away if he doesn’t let her try to be a happy family but he doesn’t want her taking him away so he has to do. What do I do he says she gave him the paper work but she was a former drug user and the only way now is because she’s clean how do I keep this realtionship without her threating to take away his son