Alienation of Affection 146

Can I Sue if My Spouse Cheats?

The spouse who was cheated on – the “injured” spouse – can, in a few states states, still bring legal action against the cheating party for “alienation of affection.” Sometimes referred to as “Heart Balm Torts,” “Revenge,” or “Spousal Theft,” alienation of affection(s) is a legal action charging someone with the intentional and malicious interference with marriage relations. Typically this occurs when one spouse has been cheating on the other (committing adultery), and is caught. There is another similar legal claim related to extramarital sex called “Criminal Conversation“, which has slightly different elements.

What Must Be Proven?

An alienation of affection lawsuit must prove that:

  • Love existed between the married spouses.
  • Love between the married couple was destroyed (or “alienated”).
  • A third party’s malicious conduct contributed to or caused the loss of affection.

What States Allow This Type of Legal Action?

Most states in the United States have done away with this type of lawsuit, considering it to be archaic and revengeful. But as of 12/2009 a few states do still recognize alienation of affection: Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah.

Is Alienation of Affection Recognized in My State?

Alabama

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Alaska

The issue of alienation of affection is not addressed by Alaska law (neither state law nor case law).

Arizona

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Arkansas

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

California

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Colorado

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Connecticut

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Delaware

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

District of Columbia

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Florida

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Georgia

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Hawaii

Yes, alienation of affection lawsuits can still be brought.

Idaho

No, alienation of affection lawsuits were abolished through judicial decision.

Illinois

Yes, alienation of affection lawsuits can still be brought.

Indiana

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Iowa

No, alienation of affection lawsuits were abolished through judicial decision.

Kansas

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Kentucky

No, alienation of affection lawsuits were abolished through judicial decision.

Louisiana

In 1927, in the case of Moulin v. Monteleone, 165 La. 169, 115 So. 447, actions for alienation of affection were abolished.

Maine

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Maryland

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Massachusetts

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Michigan

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Minnesota

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Mississippi

Yes, alienation of affection lawsuits can still be brought.

Missouri

No, on June 17, 2003, Missouri’s highest court abolished the state’s alienation of affection law.

Montana

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Nebraska

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Nevada

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

New Hampshire

No. According to Title XLIII, Chapter 460:2, “No damages shall be allowed to either spouse in any action based on alienation of the affections of the other spouse.”

New Jersey

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

New Mexico

Yes, alienation of affection lawsuits can still be brought.

New York

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

North Carolina

Yes, alienation of affection lawsuits can still be brought, although as of October 2009, there are several new restrictions, including that if the extramarital affair started after a married couple is separated, the alienation of affection law cannot be used: see ncga.state.nc.us – HB 1110

North Dakota

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Ohio

No, in 1985, alienation of affection suits were abolished by General Laws c. 207, Sect. 47B, inserted by St. 1985, c. 74 Sect. 1.

Oklahoma

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Oregon

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Pennsylvania

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Rhode Island

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

South Carolina

No, alienation of affection lawsuits were abolished through judicial decision.

South Dakota

Yes, alienation of affection lawsuits can still be brought.

Tennessee

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Texas

No, in 1997, Family Code, Chapter 1.107 was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Utah

Yes, alienation of affection lawsuits can still be brought

Vermont

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Virginia

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Washington

No, alienation of affection lawsuits were abolished through judicial decision.

West Virginia

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Wisconsin

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

Wyoming

No, legislation was enacted to abolish the right to bring an alienation of affection lawsuit.

source: about.com

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Discussion

  • Jesse R. Martie

    My wife has been having an affair with an Horn Lake police officer for almost three years. On July, 2007, I caught them coming out of a hotel elevator at a local casino one morning. That afternoon I was arrested on false accusations and a restraining order was issued. I ended up in several missions in Memphis for approximately one year. My niece in suffolk Virginia found out and sent for me, and helped get my health back. In July of 2009, my wife came hunmbly to me and wanted me back for our 10 year old daughters sake. Seems the affair was over at the time. Then around thanksgiving, the symptoms of a recourring affair began again, Yhis time the cop rented a house down our block and my wife is constantly texting and getting early outs from work to see him several times a week.

    What I have is the following information:

    Police Officer at Horn Lake Police deprtment.
    Drives a Black Dodge Avenger -Tennessee tags- [license removed]
    Address: [address removed] Horn Lake, Ms. 38637

    We live Three houses down. [address removed]

    This police officer will stalk our house hours at a time in his squad car and when of duty will parade around our block constantly to get my wife attention.Come to find out, my wife has been skipping work to meet her lover, who knows where.Can I sue this officer for malicious intentions and alienation of affection under Mississippi law and also turn him over to the Mississippi Ethics Commision or Internal Affairs for Adultery and lued behavior with a married woman. I thought Police Officers had a code of ethics.

    Horn Lake Police department Mission Statement:
    We are committed to our duty to protect life and property while guaranteeing the protection of individual liberty and affording dignity and respect to every individual. We endeavor to reduce crime, the fear of crime, and social disorder through proactive police strategies, problem solving policing and a network of collaborative partnerships with all citizens and organizations within our community.

    What are my legal alternatives????????

    • Nora

      what if adultery is punishable in your state but the hubby went to another state to commit it where it is not punishable? South Dakota to Montana

    • addy

      Hi, i was in the same situation but reversed–I am the wife and he was the cheater they did the same thing to me with false accusations and had to do time.

      How did you get over this sick, horrible feeling? don’t you want to have an affair backon your wife? we can talk story–my concern is for my daughter too

      I would not tolerate this sick behavior –they are ‘sick’ i find out he has NPD. after alot of self help

      hang tough and look to God for stength as I have been doing or else i’m not sure what would have happened to me

      i also want any lawyer out there that might be interested in a case where it’s alienation of affection
      and they used company lawyer for personal matters, themistress
      works in the same company as my spouse and he was promoted by her, it’s a big company and maybe the company has some form of liability not sure any advice would be appreciated thank you

    • Luci

      First, I am sorry you are going through this. Second, have you thought about contacting Cheaters? They could get video evidence. Then you would have your proof and hopefully you could sue the police department for defamation. I hope everything works out for you.

  • Rachel Mora

    Could I still take legal action even though my husband and I are still together?

  • Kristin

    I would like to sue for alienation of affection…however the person my husband of 8 years is having an affair with is only 20 years old. She has never had a job in her life, and still lives at home with her mom, g’ma, g’pa, and older sister….she has no $, she has nothing! Anyone have any ideas?

    • kris

      do it anyway. she will have something at some point in her life. when she looses she will be forced to get a job to pay you or do jail time.

      • It’s a symptom

        Suing someone for alienation of affection is the lowest form of not taking responsibility in your own marriage. My husband cheated, and I was hurt, angry, vengeful. After a while, I worked through all of these things and realized that marriage is 50-50. Yes, there are creeps out there, but if you marry one, that 50 percent is on you. The other woman? In my case, she didn’t do anything to ruin my marriage. My (ex) husband and I were responsible for its demise. Suing someone else is delusional. Own your own part of your broken marriage. And move on. It isn’t about a third party.

        • gale colbert

          idon’t agree.I can forgive and forget if the women does not know he is marry.But if she knows he is marry and still wants to have a affair.She or my husband don’t have no respect for me.You call it vengeful.I call it disrepect and yes i do want her to feel just as disrespected as i did.if you have no moral for sleeping with a marry why should i have morals for you

        • Dispected wife

          Anyone that puts theirselves in the middle of a marriage does not have any morals or self respect for yourself period.
          I am dealing with a cheating spouse three yrs. ago he had a affair with a co-worker she turned him in and he lost job, our home and our daughter lost her happy family all because of two frikkin selfishess people, in the mist of all the pain and anger i was dealing with i wanted nothing to do with him and three mos. ago I found out he was having another affair again with a co-worker.
          I want a divorce but my child begs me not to put her in a divorce home what am i to do?
          I want to beat the shit out of this whore and him too.

        • astonished

          Im sorry, you are so wrong. the woman my husband left me for stalked my husband. Yes he was responsible for the affiar but she went actually made it so she worked with my husband. this after being told to leave him alone he was married and had a five year old son. (after the woman made a comment about how goodlooking my husband was). I guess if my 50 % was being disabled but still very much in love with my husband of 32 years im mistaken not you.

        • http://jada4casteel@yahoo.com joann

          heres to the women who thinks marrage is 50 50 an her an her husbands fault thats not true.Im not the lowest of the lowest I was with my girlfriend for 7 yrs we had are ups an down but the last 8months she started being mean to me an her mood changed i found out she had a partner for 20 yrs.i didnt tell her i was just going to leave i went to a room where she had some boxes an i went to get somthing out of one of my boxes an one of her fell a file fell out an i seen my name on it .i started looking at the papers her an her other partner where ploting to murder me starting in feb going to sept they where keeping rejection credit card papers an there where a few with fraud alerts becouse i didnt know she had cards with the other women under her name.then i found a 300 thounds dollar life insurance policy on me i didnt even know i dont know what that plot was leading to but what ever it was she thought she had what she want an i never told her i had the papers i showed the police an everyone so out of no where she moves back with her other lover she never said why she was leaving i didnt cry but two hours offter she left she found out i had the folder she was outraged like the devil she wanted thoses papers back i told her i threw them away.i didnt they are coming back to bite her i am sueing her for all the lies the plot for living a double life so no its not wrong to sue your time an energy an love is worth some an i bet if the women with the 50 50 idea would change her mined with my problem

    • greta

      they deserve each other…God does have a sence of humor… karma does exist…free at last……thank you jesus.. now i can find a real soul mate..bye bye about it…..

      • Milo

        Dispected wife,
        Give yourself and your daughter the biggest gift ever, divorce the turd. I only wish my folks would have thought about their kids enough to have done so, and I now so what staying with a cheating wife has done to our daughter, she deserved so much more.

        • Also Disrespected

          This truely sucks, but they should all have b huge A branded on them so everyone knows. If God, knew back then and forgave them I guess we should……HELL NO!!!!!! My faith has fallen, WE made a vow to each other in front of him, in his name til death do us part, and I thought, God was in this with us? well we are all responsible in a way. I wish REVENGE

      • http://www.sandpoet.com neveraortic

        You were cheating on your husband during his extended business trips. He could have easily got sex with a Chinese prostitute for $10/trick, but was faithful to you. You accused him of being unfaithful to cover up your indescretions with the man that you are still seeing 5 years later. You did this when our sons were 1 & 3 years old. But, you lost the property and custody battle, as the judge saw your true colors.

    • GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

      I understand your pain but I can’t believe you’d even think of suing this young girl,at twenty she’s almost done with a fully developed brain. How old are you? Seriously ladies,each situation needs to be considered. Let her start her life and learn,and how frikkin old is your husband? BE PISSED AT HIM AND SUE HIM!!! Don’t let this pig off the hook who started dating this young dumb girl.
      Talk to her parents or write her a letter telling her how this affected yur life and she needs therapy so she doesn’t have a mess of life dating married men!
      You know who I’m suing? a 46 year old lawyer who makes sick figures a year and has harrassed my kids on facebook,nasty mean woman! Leave the young dumb 20 year old alone . She already has nothing direct your aner to hubby in this situation. I have a 20 year old and if she made a dumb mistake like that I would get her some help but if some battle ax came after her especially with nothing I would go balls to the wall after you!

      • karma

        All i gotta say is sewing for money will do nothing bc the damage is done and will not bring anything back but the age Dont matter bc someone is 20 or any age u know what s wrong ! Bc a person. Is 20 she should be related differently from a older person? adultery is adultery at any age . There s men or women at the age of 40 who are still stupid so need help. And when u learn from your mistakes that bring you consequences your more likely to learn. And im 22 and my Husband has cheated with women my age younger and older yes the man is the one to blame the most but it take s two and these stupid. Jgirls know what they are doing and i know older women that hav never stoped

    • tnwltn

      Do it anyway, if you can! At the very least, it will be known, as it should be. No One should get away with that. Adultery is very wrong and anyone who commits it, should be punished in some way. They should not be able to do it and face no consequence for it. People should not tolerate the act of Adultery in anyone.

  • kris

    If my husband cheats and i get some nasty disies from him, that he got from her. can i sue him. what can i do? Im in indiana. sorry about the spelling.

  • Elijahbel

    Great!! now I can have a sigh of relief and fall in love with any girl. As I know that if she cheats me , I file a suit against her to teach her a lesson.
    Free Business Cards

  • Laurie

    How can I file myself (initially without a lawyer) for Alienation of Affection in Honolulu, Hawaii? Also, I do not live in Hawaii, but my ex and the third party do. As far as I know I can still file even though I don’t live there…correct?

    Thank you.

    • Annie

      Laurie, did you find an attorney in Hawaii who could help you? I would like to find one. My 28 year marraige was busted up by A Chinese owman in Hawaii soon after we moved there while I was undergoing chemo. I really want to sue– as she has caused me great distress. Let me know if you followed through on this.

      • It’s a symptom

        SHE caused you distress? What about your husband? It isn’t fair, but many men is stressful situations (including dealing with a spouse’s illness) pursue uncomplicated situations, including other women. Take it out on him, not her. She didn’t take any vows to you.

        • tnwltn

          Yes, the husband is at fault, very much so! In the vows of marriage, it is for better or for worse and even though he did wrong, he did not do it by himself. The injured spouse still has an obligation because of the vows in that marriage. I’m sure the cheating spouse will pay for their wrong doing in some way within or out of that marriage. Still, no one has the right to interfere in a marriage in any way. To dismiss her from the situation, is saying she is not at fault. Thereby, condoning the act of her sin. Adultery is the ultimate sin! What does it say about you, or anyone, if they condone the act in someone just because they have no vows with the injured spouse. They are still responsible for their actions and must face consequences for those actions. How does that person learn from doing wrong if others are accepting of their sin? How does that person learn that morals are important, and should be important! Don’t you think that we all have a responsibility to show others that they need to be better people. How are we showing others right from wrong if we simply accept their wrongful actions. How can any of us afford to dismiss wrong doing. How can we just shut ourselves off to it. In actuality, aren’t we just aiding them in the wrong doing. Telling them that it is okay, and making excuses for them to continue to do it. Do you not care for their soul, or yours, for that matter. What if, and maybe this is not a concern of yours at this point in your life, but what if, their soul remains condemned to hell. What if, you could have help that person to see the err of their ways and it changed them. You could be saving someone’s soul,someone’s life. What a wonderful gift that would be. What a wonderful gift you could have given someone else in this life. Most people want to do something great in this life, what is that “something great” that you would hope to do. It could be such a small thing (like showing someone that they are wrong in what they did), that could make the biggest and best change in their life. We all make mistakes, but we can’t just dismiss them. We can help people learn from them. Dismissing them from the sin, is not helping them. It only helps to condemn their soul and yours.

  • Jackie

    My Husband cheated on me and was served DNA, child support papers on our son`s 3 birthday. She alerady had 1 tested and is several others how is she not in any trouble with the state for tax payers paying for all the tests? Do I have any rights as in compensation for their Adultery she knew he was married and had 3 kids?

  • Debra Rice

    My husband has been cheating for 20 yrs can I sue for allienation of affection in Kansas.She bought him a truck and a motorcycle so I have no problem proving it.

  • Nora

    To Debra Rice:
    Kansas does not have alienation of affection law. Go for the divorce anyway and take the toys provided they are in his name, take what ever you can from the cheating SOB. And dear, why have you waited 20 years – You could have freed yourself earlier and been in a happy marriage.
    Good luck.

  • Jeff

    Can a child sue a parents mistress for alienation of affection? What is the statute of limitations on this law?

    Thank You

  • James Marshall

    When was the statute banning alien of affection suits enacted in Oregon?

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  • http://restoringrelationships.info Derek

    I think more states should hold people accountable for knowingly having an affair with a married person. I don’t know how much should be paid or if any jail time should be issued but something should be done to prevent people from helping spouses commit adultery.

    • MRM

      I totally agree with you. My marriage of 38 came to an end after wife returned to CO for a high-school reunion. Daughter was told by her that she got together with her old b-friend of 40 years ago, and they shared their dreams, his, that she would someday leave me and return to him. And him down on his luck and broke, she took everything we had, jumped a plane back to CO after clearing out all liquid assets. Lost my home, business and tools of the trade, and am unable to continue my work at this time. On the plus side, I sleep better than I have for years, my relationship with our daughter couldn’t be better and I ended up with all assets that we accumulated during our nearly 40 years together and half of the funds she originally left with. Even though it was truly a gift, the divorce, I would like to she her go through what I went through, but knowing her, she will do it to herself eventually. BTW. Her fears of confrontation has cost her 10 jobs, one a 27 year career with the same co. and countless relationships with her family, close friend and co-workers over the last 10 years, and each this happens, she refused to get help with these issues, whether we stayed together or not, I still love this person. I would love to see the banks take sides in cases like this, for I did everything I could do to keep from loosing the home.
      MRM

  • Robert Johnson

    I want to know how can I sue my wife’s lover he is from texas we are in missouri and getting a divorce because of this please contact me at 314-919-7821 thank you this affair went on over a year while being married to this cow.

  • Chuck

    Soon to be ex wife filed for Divorce in Iowa because she hasn’t lived long enough in Illinois to file. I’d like to know how I can go about suing her for Alienation of Affection since Iowa doesn’t have the law but Illinois does. Their relationship didn’t begin until after she filed. But technically she’s still married. Any thoughts?

  • Elizabeth

    My husband started an affair in SC with a Single mother of 5. She moved to Arizona I found email traffic between the her and my husband and she called me to tell me they meet two and half years ago and she knew he was married but she decided to continue the relationship. Now, I currently live in Louisiana and we are also technically married. Do I have a case or can I sue her for Alienation of Affection?

  • Elizabeth

    I live in Louisiana and my husband’s lover of two and half years just moved to Arizona from South Carolina where we lived prior to Louisiana where they both met. If I don’t qualify for “Alienation of Affection” what other lawsuits can I pursue, since she was well aware he was married when they met?

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  • awareblue

    We live in a country where anything can potentially become a federal case, yet only a few states allow for alienation of affection lawsuits when in many cases your spouse and mistress completely destroy your family, your life, your finances…Everything is affected.

    More people should sue not only for the money but for the principle of defending families and teaching people not to get involved with married people!

    • Tjam

      I totally agree with you awareblue. The mistress had the nerve to call me and tell me, in her words, “I’ve been f—— your husband for the past 5 years”. Not long after that conversation my husband and I split up. He died over 2 months ago; he had a substantial amount of money in a savings account with no beneficiary listed; he had no will, executor of his estate, and no administrator of his estate, no power-of-attorney. The bank put a freeze on the bank account and in order to get it released I went thru the court and got every penny of it. The mistress called me to tell me about this account and the freeze put on it and wanted me to help her get it back from the bank. She told me it was actually her money and that they were saving it to buy a house together. I guess you know the ending to this story.

  • patras

    I live in Utah, What kind of proof do I need for the Alienation of Affection? How long must the affair be to be considered for this law? Can the person who is quilty of the Alienation be held responsible for my court costs? I just need to know what I need to do to proceed with my case and how I can prove it! I have one picture, I also access to a couple of emails. He is currently deleting all text messages which he has never done before. I am thinking about buying the software that would allow me to have access to his texts but wondering if it would be worth it?

    • http://google Cindy

      Are you still married and living together? If you are and you know this is going on why are you staying with him? In the TORT of this kind It must be proven that that the injuried party has lost society, comfort, affection and assistance of the other party. AND that the TORT was committed with evil motive (malice) or reckless indefference to the rights of others (willingly knowing the situation of the marriage and not caring) I was guilty of the indifference to the rights of others, but not of evil motive (malice) This was declared by the bankruptcy court of Appeals. It is not any easy TORT to prove.

  • Tjam

    My husband cheated with a woman who lives in North Carolina; we lived in Virginia. He died over 2 months ago; can I still sue this woman even though the jerk died and I live in VA?

  • Concerned Cousin

    I am related to a person who has entered into an adulterous relationship, it is heart breaking, the last thing I would have ever imagined for this person I love so much. I am going to bring all fo this to his attention. Do you want to be sued by this woman’s husband? She is also from another state and is taking place in the one where he lives. The law in his state is very clear – and the better one I believe. (YES you may sue for Alienation of Affection) No one has been able to talk him out of being with this woman – perhaps when I show him that he can actually be taken to court, he will stop, especially as he has political aspirations and a family full of heart-broken people who do not want to see him hurt. I doubt it but must try.

    This is so sad, you all have my sympathy and prayers. Is it any wonder God said Do not do this?! He did that to protect us, not to take away anyone’s fun. Breaking up families, ruining lives, how is that fun?

  • dadofthreenh

    I am interested in finding out if I can bring suit against the scum who contacted my wife, paid for her ticket to albequerque NM and stayed in a Hotel with my wife on September 10-11. I caught them with gps locator on her cell phone, she has admitted everything and wants to make our marriage work. He continued to contact her via text and phone calls. I am still trying to work things out with my wife. I am interested in bringing a suit against this scum bag. My wife has culpability also but he knowingly got involved and is getting divorced for his prior indiscretions in his own marriage. Who should I contact in New Mexico as I live in New Hampshire, but I am very interested in file suit against this scum bag for the cost of my counseling, my childrens counseling and family counseling to try to sort out this crap which he brought into my families life.
    What is the likelyhood of success for bringing alienation of affection suit in New Mexico?
    Thanks
    Bob

  • Annie

    Somebody Please let me know the name of a lawyer in Hawaii who will bring an Alienation of Affection suit for me against a woman who stole my dreams and my husband. To prove that love existed between the couple, can I show my husband’s text message that said “Love you too, I have behaved badly!” I’ve got to find someone! isn’t there a lawyer who is supposed to answer these questions?

  • Molly

    My girlfriend left her abusive husband six months ago. Now, he is threatening to sue. Does he have any legal grounds to do so, or is he just threatening us? He lives in Delaware, we live in Minnesota.

  • DOUG

    WHAT ARE MY RIGHTS AS FAR AS WIFE COMMITING ADULTRY

  • SOPHIA

    MY HUSBAND AND HIS FORMER CO WORKER BECAME LOVERS. HE AND I MARRIED A YEAR AGO. JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO I HAD RECIEVE A EMAIL FROM MY HUSBAND’S LOVER THAT THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER EVEN DURING THIS MARRIAGE. WHEN CONFRONTED MY HUSBAND CONFESSED TO SLEEPING WITH HER EVEN RECENTLY. HIS LOVER HAS BEEN HARASSING ME AND CONTINUING TO TEXT HIM THREATING MESSAGES WHAT R MY RIGHTS??

  • michele cater

    I live in the state of Indiana and my husband has been cheating since november of last year and took his “friend” on vacation over thanksgiving. I found out in march of this year and have filed for divorce. As soon as I moved out he moved her in. The girlfriend has since got busted for drugs but since it was her first offense she only has to take a drug class. My husband is dragging his feet on the divorce and will not respond to my atty because he doest want to pay for any of the debt he left me with that is in my name. I am also the one who carries the health insurance so I have to still pay until that is final. It there any crime in what he is doing to me? He deserves anything I can get him with.

  • HeartbroKen

    My husband was fired in March from a huge company where he was apparently sleeping with his older female boss. It lasted about a year before I busted him with rock solid evidence and he confessed. We are trying to work it out, as we have a two year old, but I am not optimistic. They had the affair on company time and used company email and cellphones. Do I have ANY claims against the whore who broke up my marriage or the company? He got fired; she did not. It’s not sexual harassment as it was consensual and he didn’t feel his job was at risk. Plus, he’d never do that to her & I don’t have standing to bring that type of legal action. What can I do????

    • addy

      omg, this is a similar situation to mine–let me know if you come up with anything

  • Ron

    My daughter has been alienated from me and I knew it was happening.
    Can you imagine my surprise when I found out I had no recourse, and Wyoming doesn’t pay any attention to the Parental Alienation that has gone on here? As a matter of fact most of the congressional people won’t even answer your emails on PAS. It does happen, it is happening, and they ignore it. How sick is that?

  • lauren 1984

    I was wondering if anyone knows if numerous 60 minute phone calls are grounds for an alienation of affection lawsuit in North Carolina? The phone calls occurred 3-5 times a week and took place over a 11 month period. I have no proof that a physical affair took place, but my spouse of course is denying it. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

  • glenda

    my husband brought an alienation of affection against a male friend of mine. It has been in limbo for about 2 1/2 years. I ask him about moving forward with the suit and he keeps putting me off—saying he is waiting to hear from his lawyer. How long can this go on??????? It has already been on the list for court once—-we postponed due to finding a lawyer. We have a lawyer now—–want to proceed//////////

    Thanks

    • http://google Cindy

      Are you still married to the man? If you are, It is going to be hard to prove what he LOST since he hasn’t lost anything yet. If you are divorced, He must prove the TORT was committed willingly and with malice, My suit was hung over my head for 3 years. Hang in there!! Let him take as long as he wants its only better for you.

  • addy

    i would like to sue the other woman for taking my husband of 25 years.

    anyone know a good lawyer in Honolulu? also, he’s talking about divorce because of her so not sure what to do next any suggestions?

    thanks
    this is heartwrenching
    what’s wrong with this freaking society where it’s gone to potty! sickening

    • http://www.milomirabelli.com/index.html milo

      Addy,
      You asked what was wrong with society, and IHO, it’s all about entitlement. Along with kids being taught to steal, lie and what ever else they can get away with. So now what? Get yourself a good lawyer, and take the silly sob for everything he’s got, and don’t let him talk about divorce, YOU do the talking with papers. If you have kids, you need to set a good example, sounds like they may already have one bad one to follow. Good luck and I wish you well.
      Milo

      • addy

        thanks Milo–so you’re saying just hire a lawyer first and serve him? there’s so many Tigers, Arnolds, Jesse (cheaters) on their wives; it’s so hurtful–I was so naive that I thought marriage was a vow–and now found out with having to talk to a therapist, support hot lines, that it’s quite the NORM. OMG, i said, WTF? still it doesn’t constitute it being ok–i was shocked when the majority of people say that it happens quite often. It made me more sick to the stomach. It’s funny cos my neighbors family is going through the same thing; cheating husband but has kids and they’re young. I’m really exhausted and drained and wish I could make a dent in this society, but the majority says NO it’s wouldn’t matter; if I went to the company and reported it or the media. So I guess I’ll just have to face reality and that I wasted half my life devoted to this person I don’t even know. Devastated, Drained and in denial

        • http://www.milomirabelli.com/index.html milo

          Addy,
          No one can tell you what the best thing to do is. Your the one that will have to live with any decisions you make, but you need to talk, and you need to talk to someone that will actually listen. Unfortunately, attorneys are not always the best people to discuss relationship problems with for their trained in the law and not the psychology of relationships. Infidelity is a big issue in a marriage and it usually has little to do with sex and a lot to do with ones own security and acceptance. If that person continually looks outside of themselves for their happiness, they will never find it and in the end you will both pay the price, My ex spent most of her life looking outside and it took me 38 years to figure out that she was never going to find it and in the end it cost us everything we worked for and it was all over an incident with her father that took place 50 years ago and what her mom told her and that was that she was a mistake. Sadly she told our daughter the same thing and now I am watching it all over again with her life. What I would say to you is, protect yourself, your not the one playing around outside of your marriage, and you need to look out for YOU, no one else will regardless of they say. There are a number of things you need to be doing to protect your future whether this blows over or not, whether you forgive him or not. I have seen to many spouses end up with nothing but a broken heart while their mate walks away with a fresh start and a new relationship. It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s about protecting yourself and your future.
          This just may be your wake up call.
          Milo

  • Ron

    It’s really tough to see these people going through all this. I am a disabled vet and my former spouse chose to use my disabilities against me especially in alienating the kids. I am one of the men who survived the attack on the USS Liberty and had to do the body recovery. Consequently because of the mess I became and couldn’t completely heal from my former spouse divorced me. I understand what many of you are going through, and now with no laws to protect us, and no recourse it seems to be something one has to live with the rest of their life. As a Christian man I will pray for all of you on this site. What else can one do? There are no protective laws anymore.

    • addy

      Hi Ron I’m sorry to hear about your situation; I also leaned on the Lord at this very unbearable and difficult time. I took marriage as a vow and struggled for three years as to what to do. I seeked therapy and a christian therapist who has sinced said it’s ok to divorce when there is unfaithfulness. He is a ‘non-believer’ as well. He tried to make me the ‘crazy’ one and at times, still do doubt myself because he would never admit it. It would be fine if he just came clean instead of trying to make me the ‘scapegoat’. He still paints this picture of me and tearing my reputation to make himself look like the ‘good guy'; i have the oppty to ‘give it back to him’ but god says lift it to him. It’s hard not to want to ‘return the favor’ let me know what your thoughts are, being a christian. God bless!

      • Ron

        Don’t think we are going to have to do much. The morals in this nation I once new are in the trash. God knows, and he notices. I really believe we are in a tight situation here and we will have to do nothing but pray. I think this country is already reaping its just rewards and it won’t get any better.

        • addy

          hey Ron,
          I agree with you, it’s in the gutter! I went to service and they mentioned that 9 million people are on a website to have an affair go figure?!!! so why even be married?!!!!! WTF!!!!

          I don’t understand how Tiger could do that to his beautiful wife and children; he had it all and was still not content. Any thoughts?

        • Ron

          When you get down to it the Bible has the answers, and of course when we decided to have divorce laws where one really has to prove nothing and the divorce is granted at the drop of a hat, we did it to ourselves. A republic cannot stand when morals are in the trash can. I am one of the survivors of the attack on the USS Liberty and saw with my own eyes what God can do in a situation such as I was in. If any of you are down and depressed about your life then I suggest that you turn to our maker. If you want to know the Liberty story it can be Goggled. It is all over the place. One of the survivors wrote a book called “What I Saw that Day” which explains a tiny defenseless ship that survived the onslaught of the IDF. The answer is with God and we better hope that this country changes its course before it is too late.

      • lil

        Does va offer self help packets aoa

  • addy

    Hi Milo,

    what you mean by wake up call? more like a hammer to the head!…lol
    still have my sense of humour–there are actually some good days for me. I have to take ambien and xanax to get through the day and do exercise but that’s from the devastating betrayals.
    Yes I agree he was like your ex looking for happiness outside. It has destroyed everything we’ve built and the time invested is the hardest and my daughter has paid the price. She’s gotten pregnant since her dad has been with his first mistress and now again with the second mistress. The children ultimately pays the price and he sees and accepts NO responsiblity–I have done some research and believe he has NPD–narcistic personality disorder.
    Do you mean get a lawyer and file the papers first? does it matter who files first? any advice would be appreciated
    yes i agree i need to talk…alot and let this out of my mind and body it’s been an awful four years when i first found out about the first mistress

    • http://www.milomirabelli.com/index.html milo

      Addy,
      No one person can feel your pain, it’s literally impossible to feel anthers pain without actually going through everything that has brought you to this point in your life. When it comes to infidelity, there are many of us that can relate to the feelings of betrayal, the loss of dreams and the feelings of mistrust. I would suggest that you find a local group that can offer you emotional support and some good advise, and are savvy on the laws of the state you reside. Those of us that have gone through this have all learned something from it and are usually happy to share their experiences, good and especially bad. Learn from others. The most important thing you can do for yourself, and that’s the only person that matters, is to do what ever it takes to protect what you have by any legal means that are available. In my case, I filed for legal separation, there were several retirement accounts and cd’s that needed to be protected along with a number of credit cards that I didn’t want to be held liable for. Remember that filling for a legal separation isn’t the same as filling for divorce, but in many states, after 90 days, a judge can change that if you are unable to reconcile. It just forces every one to put their cards on the table, so you will know where you stand financially. Let’s face it, this has probably been going on more than you realize, the infidelity that is, so it seems clear that regardless of his reasons, he can’t and won’t change and if he won’t accept responsibility, then it appears couple counseling is not an option. Regarding the NPD, most counselors/physiologists call them sociopaths.
      Good luck.

      • addy

        Hi Milo,
        tks for your reply. Yes i agree they’re sociopaths as well. I think I have to move on and give up already. I can’t even trust him let alone him acknowledging what he did nor has he even apologized for all the hurt he’s put me through; this is just the tip of the iceburg; he did so much more which i will not go into as well as emotional abuse; yes i think there were lot more infidelities this is just three i’m certain about. This will be the last straw. He keeps putting the blame on me though which really sucks. His mother just died and he banned me from the funeral. Inadvertently saying I caused her demise. OMG, what the….this was my in law for 25 years and he said his siblings didn’t want me there. I kinda give up after this. It is so sad that I wasted my life with this kind of person. I just feel sick to my stomach.

        • http://www.milomirabelli.com/index.html milo

          I am sorry about your mother in law, I went through a similar event with mine, and I knew her for nearly 40 years. I had to find out about her passing on the net. Our daughter whom loved her grandma so much was only told about it after the service, and the was told how beautiful it was by her mom. Her take on it was that her mom wanted to be the center of attention, and the only reason it was so nice was that she wasn’t asked to attend and possibly steal her moms spotlight. Oh well, I did confront my wife in court with this, beings she was a thousand miles away, and used her mom as an excuse for not appearing, that was a month after she had been buried. Just one excuse after another. And of course I was the bad guy. She did email me and told me that the reason she didn’t tell me was that she felt I never loved her mom, well all the silly things she told me about her mom, I did tend to hold her responsible for my ex’s emotional problems, but I did love her, and once more she shared with our daughter that she didn’t tell me because she felt I would go after the home she was left. I didn’t want the home, just half the 10k we put into it. I don’t think I will ever get over the fact that our daughter and I were not given the opportunity to show our love for her in someway, I would not have gone, but still should have been made aware of her passing. That is just one example of a true sociopath, and like you, there are more, just would rather not think about it now for it is over, finally.
          Addy, you didn’t throw your life away, the fact is that you more than likely were getting something out of the relationship, otherwise you would not have stayed, and more than likely made excuses for his actions, accepted his reasoning for why he did the things. In my case, I played a role in our failure, and that was to continue to allow her to do it, and always be there for her to pick up the pieces. The signs were always there, I just didn’t want to accept them. I think sometimes we do fall in love, accept a person and their shortcomings for no other reason than love.

  • addy

    Hi Milo,

    oh my the similarities are pretty coincindental. yes i stayed for financial security and threw him to the curb after finding out about this last one. Not sure now if that is a good thing cos I was thinking of taking him back even with all the hurt, mistrust, betrayal, etc. but he doesn’t want to return because he has someone else now. Maybe it’s better this way–keep second guessing, maybe part of my denial. I’ve been growing and being more free and independent which is the positive aspect of it and leaning on the Lord. I appreciate your feedback it helps me not feel so alone and unsupported by people you thought would reach out and just asked if I was ok (no one from his side even asked)…maybe they don’t want to get involved but still i knew them for decades. Oh wells, what you gonna do. It’s his side of the family, but still we supposedly were family too. It’s heartbreaking. Thanks.

  • Amber

    Wow. Reading all of these stories from you only makes me sad. I too have a very sad story. Not only did my friend that lived across from me zsneak behind my back with my husband of 17 years , who I loved deeply, she then created multiple people on the web to befriend me. This woman has tortured me. She distroyed my marriage & family. I was there for her when he fiance was killed in a motorcycle accident, then 3 months after she was sneaking off to hotel rooms with my husband. Then would come over to our home. I would make dinner for them while not knowing they just spent the day together. This “woman” put me through such hell. I had to finally move to a small town. I’m much happier now. Although I still have to deal with him. She also moved into our home that we built together. But she has already seen who he is…..a cheater & a liar.

  • Michelle

    My husband and I live in NC and we have been married for 11 years about three months ago I noticed strange numbers on the cellphone bill and text messages that start with a few 0’s then a few numbers and the text messages are from 10pm to like 5 in the morning I asked him about it and he says it’s his brothers new phone number but just the week before told me that he got into a fight with his brother and they weren’t talking so I did a reverse phone lookup on the phone number comes back to a girl in VA he says must be wrong number but the calls are for a hour at a time yeah right so I do an internet search on the text number with the 0’s and it’s a yahoo messenger id so I have this friend that is a private detective from face book run the yahoo id the number with the 0’s and he give me the girls name phone number address email yahoo id runs a background check on her and tells me everything basicly and then I have him get my husbands emails and these two are having some awesome conversation and he’s making plans to go see her. so I confront him and he lies baby I love you and I don’t know what you’re talking about blah blah blah so I quote the email word for word and he gets pissed… and says so you saw the naked pics too … I did not know about them… I was totally shocked.. about that.. okay so I’m really mad .. I leave the house go to VA and stay with my sister he is calling me every day I’m there for about two and a half weeks he says baby I’m sorry I love you come back home… stupid me falls for it and comes back home to NC we have a home together it’s in both of our names… I told him that if I came back that I was not leaving again and he said fine that he bought this house for me and the kids and that if he had to he would leave now these are his kids by another marriage that I have raised .. they hate him for what he has done I’ll get to that part here in a sec.. while I was gone he was talking to this girl on the phone telling her that he loved her and that he wanted to be with her and blah blah blah.. now that I’m back home he tells her that he’s with his wife and that he can’t be with her because we are together… not even a week goes by and he’s emailing up late texting blah blah blah etc… okay I’m out one day and come back in the computer is in the dinning room and I see the messenger up and see her name.. I said who you talking too he says nobody and minimizes it anyway you can still see the name so I said oh really I can see who you talking to what you talking about oh nothing let me see no so I grab the mouse away and he’s making plans to go see her again telling her he love her still sleeping in my bed and telling me he loves me the whole time… this weekend he said that he dated this girl when he was 19 and she was 16 and he said that she had his baby and never told him about it and that he had to go meet her to find out about his son.. he rented a car a motel room bought two cases of beer I have the receipts they her and him sent text messages to my cellphone saying that they were in love and that they wanted to be together she sent me a pic of him lying on the hotel bed in his boxers from her cellphone before he left he said that he loved me and kissed me goodbye. He called me from the car rental place when he got back yesterday to come pick him up. We are still living in the same house. He cheated on me with this woman in Va but we live in NC can I sue for alienation of affection amongest other things because you just would not believe the nasty stuff and words that were sent to my cellphone.. he brought panties home and was waving them in my face… He wants me to leave my house and move her in. What should I do?

    • http://google Cindy

      Kick him to the curb like the trash he is. Get an attoney and make him pay for a house he can’t live in.

  • addy

    get a lawyer and take him to the cleaners! can’t get to him emotionally, so get him in the pocketbook, where it hurts him! i should heed my own advice, but it’s so much easier helping other people :) God bless
    what befuddles me is why they can’t come clean, tell the truth and we can heal and move on, omg? any possible answers?

    • kirk

      it’s been 5 years now after 15 year marriege was destroy’d from her cheating behind my back running around telling everyone that i beat her nightly ,she even went as far as to ask a lady from a morman church to pleas make home visits to her dissabled husband as to worship the lord togather and this was done so that the neighbors would believe the lie she created saying that i was cheating on her with some lady …you poor poor batter’d and cheated on woman you have every right to have sex with whomever you wish .! she told so many horrible lie about me and i will just never heal i asked god pleas just bring me peace of heart as i have never hit her once or abused her in any way i was guilty of loving her why do they lie and trash out a love when all it takes is just a little honesty and respect i let her trash me out so many times i loved her she demanded sex 4 days after i was released from hospital having had my ankle fused and full leg cast ,purple toe’s swelling up as painfull as it was she demanded sex and when i asked her pleas can we hold off a week or so let this surgery heal ? her reaction was emidiet freak out yelling at me as i lay on couch my leg raised on pillows it hurt so much 3 10mg hydrocodones every 4 hrs as doctor orderd and i was still suffering and she flipped out on me ran into the kitchen and grabbed one of my razor sharp butcher knives and attacked me as i lay on couch in agony i had studied aikido previously and it was to defend my person which i had no other option so i deflected and pute the butcher knive away from doing any harm and placed a hold on her using verry little key i would just never hurt her she was someone i deeply cared for and when she had calmed down from her fit of rage i asked if it was safe to releas her and she calmly replied “yes” and then when i let loos she emedietely freaked and started screaming out that i just beat the shit out of her for no reason ? and here i am still laying with my leg elevated as she stormed out the front door screaming like she had just been savagely beaten by the worlds most dangerouse man as she ran to call the police department on me i could only hang my head and shake it in dissbeliefe i knew that even after she would tell the police the lies that if they heard about her attacking me with the razor sharp butcher knive as i lay in agony on the couch thaqt she would possibly be facing state prison time so i got to my crutches and pute the butcher knive back in the kitchen as if it never was used and when the police enterd the apartment after hearing her horrible lies they emedietely decided that simnce i was taking pain pills and i looked to havew never been in a fight and after seeing her creating a rage and fliping out her makeup was smeared and her haire was in need of grooming and she pute on a good show the police arrested me and charged me with assault 4th degree ,handcuffed and made to sit in the crowded back seat in the horrible pain i was suffering in i could just not believe what had just happened and a no contact order was placed on me so now i’m in this situation that i will be laying under a freeway overpass ,no blankets,no nothing and its becouse i asked her pleas wait a week for my ankle fusion to heal as my ankle bones had been cut in halfe and the tibia was made into a square peg and the foot was then re attached and 4 5 inch steel screws were then driven into the bones to hold them togather…ouch! i’m no sissy boy i grew up having to defend myself or get beat i’m the kindest and most loving person that had stood up to rapist that raped my lady friend and knowing restraint and the amount of force to use is inportant and to use more than it takes to protect my person and the ones that needed help is just dissrespectfull and i was never taught that in my lifes walk but i was taught honesty,integrity,respect,and to hold self esteem and pride but the rapist had me arrested and fined when he never stood in front of any justice for his crimes and the big tough bully beating his pretty lady friend along with her 4 young children was asked to pleas stop and after he attempted to beat me along with the rest of my friends what other option did i ever have ? he did’nt stop and when he threw the little girl against the wall it was enough so he was taken out the front door and told to go ahead and beat on me buddy …so he took his and oops he missed and i took mine and when he started to get up from the dirt he just finished briefe nap session i asked him pleas just stop but mister muscle just too bent on hurtin whomever he chose so once again he took his and oops he did it again so i knew he was just not stopping and i took mine and he decided to take a longer nappy poo and i was just not feelin all this rage people become and i gave him all the fairness he never had commin i hit him seven times right where he needed it most without causing too much damage but enough to maybe get him thinkin about a new way of life and how he treats people i don’t feel sorry for the fool he spent a few days in intensive care i don’t opologize for my actions i’m a nice guy i don’t like fighting anyone and i never have. you hit it on the nail head asking why don’t they just get real and tell the truth and let all the evil lies and abuse go along with maybe handing a little understanding and kindness to a person that they once had felt some type of love and heartfelt emotion twords i need to talk with understanding people the x wife had done much more later after she swore to never do what she had done to me again but this was cheating and inviting her mom into our personal biz even letting mom tell her when to have sex with me3 and then it got crazy her mom just barged into our apartment stating she had every right to make decisions in our marriege ? she admited that her whole family sufferd drom mental dissorders and she went hell bent controle freak causing all the noise she could and it was becouse she just had that right to do whatever she wanted and i just do not argue with anyone her mom promissed her a home and to help her start a home biz tqaking care of dissabled persons and this is what im concerned about as i never told the police about the butcher knive ande she could possibly harm someone but now i’m the worolds most violent person in the justice systems eyes i even got attacked in my own home by a guy that walked in and started stealing whatever he wanted and as i was sitting in a chaire he walked over and decided to hit me in my face with his boney knucled thieving hand oops he missed and so i deliverd the mail as i stood up it was naptime and time for him to exit my home all at one convenient time in his life and then he woke up crawled to hiss mommy and they both came back saying that i beat him with a brick then drug his lifeless victomized inocent little bodey into my home just to steal money from his pockets when truth is he attacked me and got his ass kicked and it was never a brick that hit him it was my right fist as my knuckle was cut open to the bone and he had a bruise that was like a tattoo of my fist just above his left eye that was proof that there was never any brick and he loved the narcotics they pumped into him in intensive care gold beach oregon the district attourney happened to lose my proof of the fist tatoo and was actualy trying to sentence me to 6 years state penn time for defending myself in my own home from a junky and his entire junky lies family and god knows i am telling the truth i am not a violent person at all i just like to not let anyone beat me or any lady or child aqnd thr rapist can come rape me i am inocent ive lost a person i once loved so much and last year lost my 18 year old son and why does it have to be like it is ? i’m actualy frightened of women and the lies and hurt they inflict its a hard hurt not easy to just let go and forget when the one you loved so long has lied and carried out pre meditated abusive torture involving her entire family i saved my x wifes 2 year old baby gilrs life twice as she was chocking to death from her mothers slob lifestyle and i asked her pleas stop just throwing your trash on the floor its the baby’s world thank god i returned home at those times lil baby would have died her mother froze freaked and was letting her turn purple i cry when i remember that look never freak out always keep your cool or you are just not aware of the situation …! pleas excuse the mini book i think i just had to releas information i have been abused i should have seen it long ago and left her but i loved her and she swore she loved me forever but lies are lies so we just hide from women forever i guess …she needs to be stoped alongh with her abusive family i done nothing to cause any problems and heather lashbrook of klamath falls oregon would never be doing what she is doing making good money if they only knew the truth she was fired for shooting up heroin at a live in home care center in white city oregon the lady gave option either leave the home or get turnede in for shooting up narcotics at a home ran care facility so she left and i am little concerned she is not right in the head what should i do when is enogh enough ?

  • msjay

    I have been married for 11 yrs and my husband and I were seperated but still working on our marriage. I have all our hotel receipts to prove we were still spending time and seeing each other. When I decided that he had changed was and came back to him he told me latert that he had gotten another woman pregnant. Later I found out that after the child was born he had been going over to their house that he had a key to and staying the night. She knew he was married the entire time and she actually sent me an apology text telling me he loves me and our three children. Can I sue her and she is in the air force. I do live in NC

    • MilBrat

      To msjay,
      If you have proof that this woman had an affair with your husband AND had knowledge he was married, YES you have grounds against HER. This is a VERY prosecutable offense with the military. Take your proof to what the AirForce calls OSI. Ask the guard at the gate for their help. They’ll get you direction, an escort, or a pass to talk to OSI.
      The military frowns on adultery in ANY aspect. Whether it be a married spouse committing it, or single person committing with married persons. Just as the police departments in any state, the military also believes that their soldiers/sailors have an obligation to give an air of higher moralistic grounds of living. Therefore, things like debts and adultery are subject to the UCMJ and VERY punishable.
      Hope this helps.

      J

    • none

      How do you know forsure she knew he was married? He can lie and tell you anything he wants,seriously some of you women need to wake the hell up.HE IS NOT INNOCENT !!! She sent you an apology text? Did he ever apologize? Seriously are some of you women just broke and need money or do you really have these pathetic victim mentality blaming the wrong party and taking the blame off him? This law should be banned in every state.This law is nothing short of ego gratifying and a vindictive response.GROW UP!

      • AJK

        Wow. Aren’t you just the voice of all women. As someone who’s husband cheated multiple times and then ended up with my so called friend, I do know how these women feel. Do I agree with this law? Yes & no. Both parties are at fault. These women (myself included) are going through pain I would not wish on anyone. So please keep this in mind before you print such harsh comments.

        • This is ALL EGO !

          AJK

          You know aswell as I do this law is all EGO gratifying and temporaly gives a sense of justice but in the end does nothing to move women forward. Staying stuck in Victim mode never works,looks like I hit a nerve with you. In a nutshell it boils down to this,remember I was cheated on for years but never fell into this mind pattern!

          When are people going to grow up? If a MARRIED man has an affair and goes off with an UNMARRIIED woman, then he is the one who is cheating. If a husband loves his wife then he is faithful, if he can be tempted then that is his fault, not the wife nor the mistress. Your husband went off with someone else, what is hurt, your pride. In a divorce, presumably, a fair division of marital assets would be made, but to sue the girlfriend for millions is pathetic and sad. You cant force someone to love you, to stay with you, and if you could, would you want to. Have some dignity. The American justice system is a joke.

      • debc2

        Well, AJK, I could have sued my husbands mistress for alienation of affection. She was an NC resident. I wish I had because this woman came to my home and befriended me while she was having an affair with my husband. So she definately knew we were married. Oh, and guess what? My husband was being doted on at the time by me because he had just had open heart surgery and she was his cardiac rehab. nurse at the hospital! Hell yes I should have sued her but after the seperation I had my hands full trying to survive because he took every single dollar we had and I was on Family medical leave because I had gotten sick and had to have surgery myself and could not work. Every circumstance is different.

  • Ron

    What I will never understand is why this law was abolished in so many states? Alienation is not only between married couples but children are involved here which is even more important. I have told my story to many in Wyoming and they just act like it is nothing and no big deal. Three of my children were alienated from me by my former wife because I couldn’t get over the terrible things I saw and was involved in serving my country. She is a nurse and used all she could against.me to turn my kids from me. It appears to me that if these supposed lawmakers had this happen to them something would be done immediately.

  • Tiff

    My friend and her husabnd is going through some of the similar things. She had to be home to put the kids through school while her husband is off working on pipeline jobs. While on this job he met another woman and the woman knows that he is married with kids but she is coming over and spending the night with him in my friends rv and he stays with her. My friend has the phone records that shows where they are having 2hr conversations. She knows what she needs to do with the husband, but she wants to know what she can do about the other woman. CAN YOU SUE THE OTHER WOMAN THAT INTENTIONALLY HELPED RUIN THE MARRIAGE in Texas? any advise is welcomed!!

  • Green711

    What is the best way to prove an afair? He wont admit it,but otherss have seen it.I havent.

  • bobnnh

    If they have a phone, you can put a tracker on it…that is how I caught my wife with her scum x boyfriend…..I set up a gmail account and had a gps locator (on her sprint phone) sending me updates every 60 seconds…..I found her in a hotel with her scum in New Mexico and waited til it was around 3am then called her after she was in the room for some time and confronted her by asking where she was…..it depends on what kind of phone they have but you can track any where now….after she was busted she even went and got a pay as you go phone…..but was too late, already figured it out…you might have already tipped your hand with confronting him…..its hard but sit back and be patient if he did it once and did not admit…..he will do it again….it really sucks but you need to catch them in the act if you are willing to put up with the crap for that long……depends if you really think you can live with it or not….Its hard for each person and only you can answer that question…friends and family can say what they would do but until you are thrust into this position you will never really know….Has been just over a year for me and I am still dealing with the pain and the sting. I hate the pain but love my wife but still condemn what she did to us and our family, having to get std testing etc, loosing trust in your loved one, questioning your love and devotion, dealing with the betrayal, etc is one of the most gut wrenching things you will ever have to deal with besides a death…because you are dealing with a death of your marriage…? will be do you rebuild with a new marriage or just call it quits….personal call….Best wishes and good luck. My Heart goes out to you.

  • bobnnh

    Tiff, look up alienation of affection, some states still allow this type of suit….it is a revenge tort…..most likely will not be worth it…I looked into it for my situation…it was enough to get the scum to put his tail between his leg and go home and when I spoke to his wife sort of put him into a different position…..again trackers are great…..you can ping some phones also for locations…….sometimes they are so caught up in the excitement they are acting like Teenagers and loose track of the fact that the adults are smarter than they think….sucks but works….Good Luck.

    • imohf

      How do you ping a phone? My husband’s mistress has been using some sort of cell phone snooping device to snoop on my husband’s phone to ensure that he doesn’t talk to me and alienate him from e. she REALLY stomps down on him if he communicates with me. her husband is the one who told me about this porgram or application that she has downloaded to her Blackberry and snoops on all our phones. She could follow him all the way in Los Angeles, when she is in Hawaii I even asked the FBI if they would check on it– becasue her husband told me she is doing this– but the FBI thought I was a crazy. The FBI in Hawaii donb’t want to do anything. But I really want to sue her for violating my privacy. I really want to sue for alienation of affection becasue she and her husband have now reconciled and I’m out inthe cold with myhusband still proceeding with the divorce.

  • mary

    My husband committed adultery after 40 years of marriage. I tried to make the marriage work but found out he had a hidden phone from her and had continued the affair. I left. he keeps telling me he wants me not her. He brought her in our home after I moved out and she stayed a couple of weeks in my bed in my bedroom and had sex with him there. I live in Kentucky which is a no fault state. Is there any way I can sue her? Are there any grounds I can sue her and maybe win?

  • mary

    Im barely paying bills and don’t have the money. I can’t afford to pay so I guess I won’t get help again.

  • Angela

    I recently found out my husband of 20 years was having an affair with a nurse at the hospital where he worked. She pursued him for a year and a half and it has destroyed my children and me. He has chosen to stay with us and we are in counseling to work on our marriage. What are my options? The nurse pursued him for a year and a hlaf and he repeatedly told hr no. Finally he gave in and the rest is history. The affair was only for about a month but she has no remorse for any of it. She told me he was like candy she had to have him and would not stop until she did. Do I have any legal recourse? I live in WV and cannot find any laws that will back me up. I want to make sure she doesn’t do this to anyone ever again.

  • WOW!!!

    I’m trying not to judge but reading some of these comments confirms the beliefe in life not everyone is ready to let go of victim mentality!

    Some cases I can unserdstand but some of you women have the Jerry Springr mentality to the core. My poor husband was pursued by this woman blah blah blah. You’re all so totally nieve and gullable as hell for believein your lying cheating husbands. Suing anyobody isn’t going to make him less of a pig or having more affairs down the road,something makes me believe some of you are hustling conartists in cohoots with your husbands posing as victims to get MORE $$$$$$ during tough times. Despite the bad unfortunate circumstances you’re all makin really crappy causes by bein greedy for more,and staying stuck in vindictive and victim mode. You’re lives will only be more mierable on a deeper level!

  • addy

    Hey WOW,
    have you been in the ‘situation’ before? or are you single and got nothing better to do then judge? if you have been IN the same shoes, then you can comment, otherwise i believe you are way out of your area of expertise or ability to give any comments. let me know what your status is btw whether you are single,married or close. Good day

  • WOW!!!

    Addy, Before you assume anything calm the hell down. This isn’t juding it’s my own personal observation,alot of these women are totally just blaming the wrong party and are directing their sacred rage to the wrong source to stay with and keep their cheating husbands safe.It’s still really pathetic as far as we’ve come that we still give eachother the scarlett letter and let the wandering weiners of our husbands off the hook. YES thats the Jerry Springer mentality! If you read my comment I said SOME ….How the hell can you just want to sue the woman when your husband has CHOOSEN to take this woman back time and time again?
    It’s really pathetic as modern women how we keep these pigs safe!
    People sue for the dumbest crap these days,partly out of greed and stay stuck in victim mode which I see you’re caught in aswell. You can get as mad as me as you want but we both know in the end what I wrote is the truth and hit a nerve otherwise you wouldn’t have reacted like that. So my situation is this I have been scouring these boards to see what I can sue the mistress for NOT because I choose just to be the vicitim and blame the women but the “other women” was the VP of his company and Harvard raduate,it’s not like she just slipped in quietly and did nothin ot he just invited her into his life over and over. I would blame him for that.This woman contacted my 14 and 17 year old children on face book and sent them photos of her and their father in kissing posings and trashing me so I’m suing for a justified reason. Alienation of affection doesn’t apply to me so other laws and restraining orders will be sufficient!
    I’m hardly a single woman speaking from no experience. I think this is a way to prolong ones sufferin and emotional pain,it’s something people should think about but it’s not goin to scratch the surface if you keep lashin out defensively like you just did defending poor little you. If this monster hadn’t terrorized my children I wouldn’t waste my time or energy on either one. The best revenge is living well! Don’t address me or respond to me again on this board!

  • sipher

    There are such things as “crime of Passion” laws in a few states. Basically it states you can kill your spouse and there lover if you catch them in the act and freak out. You can serve as little as 3 years in jail. Not suggesting this corse of action but sometime you get crazy.

  • http://google Cindy

    I was served with papers for alienation of affection in 1996. It took 3 years to go to court.I live in the state of Missouri and it was still legal to sue for this. After a 3 day trial and every piece of mud was dug up on everybody including all the kids. the woman who sued me won. She was awarded 50 thousand dollars in actual damages. No punitive damages were awarded since she had done the same thing 35 years earlier. I eventually discharged the settlement in bankruptsy court. ( sorry about the spelling ) I know it hurts to be cheated on, but this is not the way to go. The impact on my life and the kids is been one of hell. Think about how much you want to ruin not only the cheater but the innocent people that just happened to be a part of your life. In the long run, everyone pays.

  • Pam

    I don’t understand all this sueing. If your spouse is cheating then something is wrong at home somewhere. I would just get them out and away from me and find someone right for me. If they cheat once they are going to cheat twice so let it go and be happy. You only live once and you deserve to be happy without all the bullshit of a cheatin spouse.

  • Janie

    I lived in Seattle and was married for 13 years, when I found out my husband was cheating with one of his patients! This patient knew me, and knew he was married. He has bought her a new Lexus, and bought her daughters cars, and a new condo! I hope this will help my case in getting a better settlement-I was a devoted wife all those years!

  • Ron Harris

    I have matter that I would like to ask your opinion on. Lisa, my wife, recently had an affair with her boss and when I caught them, she left our home and confessed they were in love with each other. Her boss is the liquor store manager at the Hy-Vee. Lisa is his assistant manager.

    I believe Hy-Vee fostered an enviroment that created this alienation of affection.  Hy-Vee requires their employees to represent their store at various wine and beer tastings.  When very long-term married people work together all the time and often attend events like this, it creates a situation where one or more may lose their inhibitions and betray their family and spouse. There are other contributing factors at the store also, such as comp tickets from various large vendors. At these comp’d events, everyone including managers are  encouraged to drink liquor and party together.  Without a policy that disallows opposite-sex-married people (not married to each other) to attend these events and trips and drink to excess, inappropriate and family-devastating behavior seems to be not only possible, but obviously happening.  There has been no retribution for either of the guilty managers, my wife or her boss.

    In addition, once a month the Liberty Hy-Vee has a wine club/beer club event, pairing food and beverages. These events require the managers to get together and prep the food and try different beverages to pair with different food. Some of this is done at Hy-Vee, but most of it is done at the manager’s house.  People at Hy-Vee are aware of what is going on in preparation for these events, and may or may not have a policy disallowing unsupervised food preparation (thinking sanitation/inspection laws here) and unsupervised drinking and socializing, but they have done nothing to stop it.  The fact that they make money on these events makes it especially wrong, in my opinion.

    While we were together, my wife’s manager called her on her days off for twenty to thirty minutes a couple times a day.  He was at Hy-Vee on the clock at the time. This was possibly very noticeable to fellow employee’s and supervisors. My wife’s manager  set their schedule so the two of them always got off work at the same time. The store manager must have been aware that there were times that there was no manager or assistant manager covering the liquor department, and that it was inappropriate for the liquor manager and his assistant to be leaving together.  I know for a fact one employee knew, because he made a point to tell me that when I caught on to what was up and called the store looking for my wife a few times late in the afternoon.

    Is there any validity in what I am saying here? Could Hy-Vee be liable for turning a blind eye to the fact that two of their managers were getting out of control while trying to promote Hy-Vee and its events, and let this party atmosphere override proper employee behavior?   If you think there is, who would I talk to? In addition hy-Vee sent or allowed these two to go to St. Louis for a couple days for a wine convention.

    Respectfully,
    Me

  • Ron Harris

    I have matter that I would like to ask your opinion on. Lisa, my wife, recently had an affair with her boss and when I caught them, she left our home and confessed they were in love with each other. Her boss is the liquor store manager at the liberty Hy-Vee. Lisa is his assistant manager.

    I believe Hy-Vee fostered an enviroment that created this alienation of affection.  Hy-Vee requires their employees to represent their store at various wine and beer tastings.  When very long-term married people work together all the time and often attend events like this, it creates a situation where one or more may lose their inhibitions and betray their family and spouse. There are other contributing factors at the store also, such as comp tickets from various large vendors. At these comp’d events, everyone including managers are  encouraged to drink liquor and party together.  Without a policy that disallows opposite-sex-married people (not married to each other) to attend these events and trips and drink to excess, inappropriate and family-devastating behavior seems to be not only possible, but obviously happening.  There has been no retribution for either of the guilty managers, my wife or her boss.

    In addition, once a month the Liberty Hy-Vee has a wine club/beer club event, pairing food and beverages. These events require the managers to get together and prep the food and try different beverages to pair with different food. Some of this is done at Hy-Vee, but most of it is done at the manager’s house.  People at Hy-Vee are aware of what is going on in preparation for these events, and may or may not have a policy disallowing unsupervised food preparation (thinking sanitation/inspection laws here) and unsupervised drinking and socializing, but they have done nothing to stop it.  The fact that they make money on these events makes it especially wrong, in my opinion.

    While we were together, my wife’s manager called her on her days off for twenty to thirty minutes a couple times a day.  He was at Hy-Vee on the clock at the time. This was possibly very noticeable to fellow employee’s and supervisors. My wife’s manager  set their schedule so the two of them always got off work at the same time. The store manager must have been aware that there were times that there was no manager or assistant manager covering the liquor department, and that it was inappropriate for the liquor manager and his assistant to be leaving together.  I know for a fact one employee knew, because he made a point to tell me that when I caught on to what was up and called the store looking for my wife a few times late in the afternoon.

    Is there any validity in what I am saying here? Could Hy-Vee be liable for turning a blind eye to the fact that two of their managers were getting out of control while trying to promote Hy-Vee and its events, and let this party atmosphere override proper employee behavior?   If you think there is, who would I talk to? In addition Hy-Vee allowed or encouraged these two to go to St. Louis for several days to a wine convention, together.

  • Fit To Kill

    Can anyone validate the legitimate “Law Of Texas” (Later known as the Crime of Passion) which up until about 30 years ago allowed you to shoot and kill your spouce and her lover, as long as you didn’t reload?

  • Ridiculous

    You people are ridiculous. It’s insane to think that you could sue for criminal damage due to an affair. You’re going after the mistress? Do you seriously think that she put a gun to your husbands head and forced him to sleep with her? I very seriously doubt it. It pure spite. And obviously if your spouse was cheating then your marriage wasn’t all that anyway.
    Get over yourselves.
    Signed,
    An ex wife of a husband who cheated every 3 months during a 10+ year marriage.

    • NY Revenge

      You must be kidding! Oh, wait…you must be a cheater or maybe the “other” person. And I use person lightly. Yes, it takes two but if you don’t start it and continue to harrass the spouse that “other” should be held responsible. I will try until my last breath, to get through NY law and my revenge on the whore that broke up my marriage. He is getting his but she needs to be humiliated just as she humiliated me. Emails, calls, Facebook, in public. She has broken up other marriages just for the money, and left right after the divorces because there was no money left. She is forty and should know better and teaching her daughter how to do the same. A is for adulterer!

      • Ridiculous

        So says the person who has the word revenge in their sn and says its done out of pure spite.
        How old are you? 3?
        I have been on both sides of the fence. I have been cheated on and I have cheated..after being cheated on numerous times in my marriage.
        You know what? It hurts. But what hurts more is that I was stupid enough to stay with a cheater. The best thing I ever did in my life was let go of my cheating spouse and his side pieces. Because now it’s not my problem. I’m not the one who is constantly trying ascertain if he’s lying to me or where he’s at when he’s gone.
        His new girl does. So it becomes her problem.
        You should seriously grow up and move on with your life. Your reaction to the cheating most likely verifies for your husband all the excuses he used to cheat on you in the first place. The cheaters have to tell themselves something.
        Why prove him right?

  • JY

    Every case is different, and in my case the mistress knew my husband was married, plus she knew me. I am personally offended, and glad there is a law that I can use against her.

    I will be suing my husband for divorce and using this against him as well. Mad as Hell

    • debc2

      Go for it JY! I wish I had. Same thing happened to me only not only did she know he was married, she was coming to my house! He was backing off from her and talking about re doing our vows. I asked her to stay away from him and she told me she would not. She came to my house several times. I am now divorced from him and he did end up marrying her out of guilt because at the time of their affair she was also married. What a pair! They certainly deserve each other. If more people sued for alienation of affection maybe some people would think twice. Even if only a few!

  • carroll turner

    well. heck yeah
    my best friend/coworker/son’s teacher had an affair with my husband last july. i was demoted at the time. he is slack on child support, he doesnt pay alimony like hes supposed to and MY school of nine years didnt renew MY contract as to get rid of the victim. the SKANK has a job. I have no job, no money and left high and dry with two young children.
    i would ABSOLUTELY sue for alienation of affection!!

    • Ella Lohan

      No offense but first you have a deadbeat, and second the school district sounds like an idiot. The mistress is not the “skank”, she happens to have the luck while you don’t, so you are jealous. Ultimately she didn’t have an affair with him, the husband had an affair with her. Don’t sue her or anything because that’ll just make you dwell on the case, and cause it to take over your life. Focus on your own life, and find a school district that’ll treat you better.

      • beachbum2397

        They are a Skank if they know the man is married…….I would sue just to make a point..

  • michael gooden

    my wife has been on drugs and alcohol for some time now. she will spend two sometimes three day out in the streets doing what she has to do to obtain these drugs and alcohol, including prostituting herself. i have not yet ccaught her doing this, but my experience in the drug world, over 25 years ago tells me of her behavior. based on this, can i seek divorce on grounds of cheating and being unfaithful. what are my options here.

  • Chris p

    Ok I have been separated since the end of April. My wife and I moved to NC from NY last year we had issues up there but hoped moving would help fix them. Things got better for a little while but then got worse I was trying to see if things could be fixed but found myself wanting to be at work more than at home. I discussed things with my friends and they all agreed she treated me badly and that they hated seeing her take advantage of me. One of my friends was a female who was recently separated and had become a lesbian my wife new her and I were friends. My friend and I talked a lot about every day things and my marriage and how my wife treated me. We never hung out only texted and talked.After I separated from my wife I began hanging out with her and we are now dating she confessed to me she decided being gay was not for her after I separated from my wife. She also on many occasions told me to do what I needed to do with the seperation. My ex is now trying to say she will file alienation of affection against her. Her lawyer states he has a good case but we never saw each other only talked and texted. I don’t know enough about this law the sad part is my ex and I were only married 18 months and before we moved I even had told her of she didn’t want to move I would sign papers to end the marriage. I just don’t know what to do.

    • Milo

      Chris,
      Sounds like your in a better place now and the last thing I would worry about is a suit from a soon to be ex. Most courts don’t even consider a marriage that is less than 5 years a marriage and property division usually amounts to, you leave with what you brought. Unless there are kids involved, then it’s a bit different. Unfortunately, moving to make things better usually doesn’t work as you found out, it normally takes work from both people. In my case I ran into pretty much the same thing, although it wasn’t bad before the move, I just happened to marry a person the was never going to be happy with anything or any place, some people are just not happy inside to begin with. BTW, mine was a 39 year marriage, so I think you are a very lucky person, and I understand that it may not seem so now, but it will.

  • David

    I have been married 28 years and found out last week my wife was having an affair. She accidentally sent my sixteen year old daughter a text meant for her lover. I am hurting so bad and can’t understand why. She says it started because talking to him made her feel good, but the talking turned into sexting and eventually meeting to have sex. I have two children, 16 and 21, that I love very much and want to stay in the relation ship for them. Because I feel I can’t trust not to go back to him, or start another relationship with another man, I’m having difficulty in deciding what to do. I want to bring a alienation of affection lawsuit, but her and her parents don’t want her name smeared and people of this small community to know what happened. Seems it’s all about her name being the most important thing.

  • MOTOGUSINILE

    SO MANY TIMES WE TALK A GOOD GAME. WE USE GOD IN WAYS THAT IT IS ASHAME. WHEN THERE ARE BROKEN HOMES, IT AFFECT MORE THAN THE TWO PEOPLE. MARRIAGE IS IMPORTANT. GOD SAID WHEN A MAN AND A WOMAN GET MARRIED THEY IS NO LONGER TWO (2) BUT ONE(1). ONCE MARRIED THEY NO LONGER LEAN TO Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.OTHERS. Genesis 2:18
    18.And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
    1 Corinthians 7:2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
    ALTHOUGH THIS IS BROTHER PAUL SPEAKING, IT IS GOOD FOR HUSBANDTO HAVE THEIR OWN WIFE AND WOMAN TO HAVE HER OWN HUSBAND. MY MARRIAGE WAS BEAUTIFUL. WE WOULD DO THINGS TOGETHER, GOES FOR WALKS, SHOP, HE WOULD GO TO THE DOCTOR WITH ME. WE WOULD COOK TOGETHER. ONE DAY HE BEGAN TALKING TO ONE OF HIS CO-WORKERS ON THE PHONE. SHE WOULD CALL HIM ANYTIME OF DAY AND NIGHT. HE WOULD TALK TO HER ON THE PHONE FOR HOURS AT A TIME. MY HUSBAND LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER WOMAN. HE CONSTANTLY BRAGGED ABOUT GETTING A DIVORCE. HE BECAME HOSTILE AND HE BEGAN CALLING ME NAMES. THE THREATS WAS WORST. IF YOU DO THIS I WILL DO THAT. HE WOULD HAVE HIS CONVERSATION ON THE TELEPHONE REGARDLESS IF I WAS IN THE HOUSE OR NOT. IN ORDER FOR HIM TO LEAVE HE LOOKE AND RAMBLED THROUGH MY BELONGING TO FIND SOMETHING JUST TO SAY HE LEFT ME BECAUSE I WAS DOING THIS OR THAT. BUT AS HE WAS DOING THIS I WOULD GO TO MY ROOM AND PRAY. I ASKED HIM WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME ALL HE COULD SAY IS THAT YOU WILL FIND OUT WHEN YOU GET THE DIVORCE PAPER. HE CANCELLED THE INSURNCE THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OWN. HE PUT ON IT THAT HE WAS DIVORCED AND I WAS SINGLE. I ASKED HIM FOR THE COPY OF THE DIVORCE PAPER HE TELLS ME THAT I WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT. BUT HE IS ACTUALLY LIVING WITH THE WOMAN. AFTER HE WOULD NOT RESPOND TO ANY OF MY MESSAGES FOR GIVING ME A COPY OR INFORMATION CONCERNING THE DIVORCE PAPERS, I DROPPED BY HIS NEW JOB JUST TO GET AND ANSWER FROM HIM. WHILE THERE HIS GIRL FRIEND WAS IN THE STORE BUYING FURNITURE. HE WAS SHOCK TO SEE ME COME INTO HIS STORE. I TOLD HIM ALL I WANT AT THE PRESENT TIME IS A COPY OF THE PAPER TO GET YOU OFF OF ANYTHING CONCERNING ME. HE LAUGH AN SAID THAT IT WILL BE A LITTLE WHILE LONGER. MY HUSBAND WORKED WITH THIS YOUNG LADY AT LA-Z-BOY FURNITURE. SHE KNEW HE WAS MARRIED. NOW HE WORKS AT ASHLEY FURNITURE. BUT THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS IS I KNOW I DID NOT DO ANYTHING FOR HIM TO LEAVE. I KNOW THAT WE WAS HAPPY BEFORE SHE PURSUED HIM. I ALSO KNOW THAT I CAN PROVE THIS. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT HAPPEN WITHIN THE LAST SIX MONTHS THAT I CAN WRITE A BOOK ABOUT. I AM PRAYING THAT SO MUCH ADULTERY AND FORNICATION STOP. WOMEN STOP MESSING UP HOMES AND MAN STOP RUNNING AFTER OTHER MEN WIFE. SINGLE WOMEN GET YOUR OWN HUSBAND. MARRIAGE IS SO PRECIOUS IN THE EYESIGHT OF GOD. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. WIFE DO THE SAME. BECAUSE IF LOVE MY HUSBAND I CONSTANTLY KEEP HIM IN MY PRAYERS. WHEN I MARRIED THIS MAN I TOLD HIM THAT MY VOWS ARE PRECIOUS BEFORE HOLLY GOD. SO IF ANYMAN FEEL BECAUSE THE MARRIAGE IS JUST 50-50, I PITTY YOU.

    • beachbum2397

      Your story sound just about the same as mine.. I don’t understand what it is with theses young girls and going after married man and the age difference.. I am a little over a month into this.. My husband did the same thing got phone calls from her all hours text him in the morning to say Good Morning and I was supposed to be ok with that.. I had a bad feeling one night when he was late coming home. I went to his work place and it was all closed done. There was a car still sitting in the parking lot so I looked into it. There was a bunch of girl clothes all over the back seat.. Something told me to just sit there and wait.. I did and here comes in his truck from behind the work building with that girl sitting where I always sit.. He got caught red handed or should I say caught with his pants down.. I went crazy I did many thing that night.. I came home and thur all his stuff out of this house.. I just can’t believe 17 years of marriage gone.. I am disabled he did everything for me He kissed me every day before he went to work told me I love you more.. He kissed me every night when he came home from work.. I don’t understand! I really knew in my heart we would grow old together.. We promised to each other and God we would NEVER leave each other…He has called and ask if we could talk about this, I told him there is nothing to talk about.. I have been thur so much with him.. He did 2 and half years in prison for a car wreck and the lady died.. I was the good wife. I was there for him the whole time. He had problems with drugs I was there for him with that. He is Bi-Polar that was a every day battle and I was there thur all the mental abuse. BUT this is the one only thing I will NEVER put up with.. There is nothing to talk about. Cheating is the worst thing in my book you could do…

      • phila Mom

        I absolutely agree, it is worse than a dealth. My husband is bio polar, recoving alcoholic, drug addict prescription drugs. His sister died over a year ago when all hell broke loose. He lost his job, we took in my SILyoung girls with our little boy. In addtion to having my very needy MIL every weekend, did i mention she is completely incontinent. Plus my Grandmother lives with us she is 93, i could have not done it without her. Needless to say a made house. This is when my husband stated his affair with ex girlfriend. It started in may i found out in October. I found pornagrahic texing from both of them. I kicked him out , he wonted to come home. I said you have to get help one condition. He went to betty ford for 3 months. He stopped going to meetings. Even though he is not drinking or druging. I Just found a tex in his phone from the ex. Who is also, married with 3 kids. He called her infront of his therapist At BF, he told her i love my wife and family and it is over. She cried. You all know the story. Her name is Sheri Lyn Malnick Wood, she sent the most vulgar disgusting. Tex. Of her V blown up 3 different shots. My son could of picked up the phone. I do blame my husband for not deleting the tex, which means he revisited the tex. This is how she lured him in before . We hired our attorney to send her a certified letter. Plus her poor husband knows nothing. I even called her mother and explained the situation. I thought she could be able to talk to her daughter. However that didnt work. I blame my husband first because, he is the one married to me. I do think she most be accountable for her actions . This whole thing has caused so much depression, grief and uncertainty. I am making my plan to leave as soon as i get myself together. Once a cheater always a cheater.

  • Evemaggie

    My husband and I have been seperated for several years now he wants to finalized our marriage with a divorce at the time of our marriage my husband has commited adultery several times alone with physcial and mental abuse and abandonment. He wants to files for a non-contested divorce. He wants to leave this marriage with his hands clean. We have been married since 1978. I need to know what I am entitle to if this divorce goes through. I don’t want to be left empty handed. Am I entitle to any alimony or part of his retirement.

  • I sued the wife.

    My story is quit different. First of all i want to say I hate cheaters and people who homewreck. I grew up seeing my mother cry over my fathers affair and one of the women was nasty and mean to my sister and I as little girls,she called me a ugly chubby little brat and told my dad I should have been an abortion. Yea so you get that I HATE women who date married men. Something happened six months ago that broke my heart what I had to do. I had to sue counter sue a married woman.

    First of all I had breast cancer three years ago and medical bills wiped me out! I’m doing my best with a optomistic attitude but barely have a savings left,almost nothing. I knew it was time to move on with my life and start dating again after a bad brake up before my cancer.

    I posted my profile on match.com a SINGLES site,with every ntention of finding a SINGLE man! I started to correspond with a guy in his mid fifites,succesful ,had two kids oldest 23,apparently his wife died of breat cancer. BAM big emotionalconnection here,we spent the next few weeks together nonstop,he had an apartment in the city. I didn’t meet his kids because he said he liked to wait. I understood that and loved that about him,protective father!
    Long story short, I started getting nasty phone calls from a woman who said she was his wife,he admitted he was married and I was sick to my stomach. I literally threw up the night I found out! I had his profile ripped off the site and banned from other sites. His wife continued to call me at all hours threatning me. I sent her his profile were it said he was single and all his emails talking about how sad he’s been since his wife died. Two weeks later I got something in the mail from a lawyer,she was going to sue me for alienation of affection…INSANE!!!! By the time I got a lawyer and started the procedures it cost $870.00,he sent all his emails and profile from the site saying look at these you don’t have a leg to stand on,keep this up and we’ll sue you for harrasment and more,he ofcourse dropped it!! I didn’t have 870.00 to throw out the window so I took her to court and won I got that back plus worked missed and some other stuff. I ended up getting $1800.00 My point is makesure you don’t get loopy like this broad and come after someone totally innocent. I had no choice I don’thave money to waste and I did nothing wrong!

    • What?

      GOOD FOR YOU!!! I would have done the same thing. Why the hell would she continue to come after you when you sent her all the evidence,now this is were I say the wife is a stupid unintelligent hag! I hate homewreckers too but she was being plain stupid! You did nothing wrong and I’m sorry you and your mother went through all that years ago,

  • Don’t care

    Been married for 10 years, marriage has had it’s ups and downs but within the recent months my husband has been having an emotional affair with his ex wife ( they were married 13 years ago) I found out about their affair and have phone records, emails and I put a tracker on his phone which is in my name. The stress of their affair has weighed on me tremendously causing me to attempt suicied after being told by him he had been thinking of taking our 3 children to raise with her they both have lied about the affair but Agian I have prof that states other wise my husband and I are getting divorced the affair only being one of the reasons I want her to be responsible for her actions so should I sue her? I don’t care about winning anything from her other then holding her accountable

    • Ella Lohan

      Don’t sue her. I’m really sorry for what’s been going on, but he’s the one who chose to contact her. Life is random, in an alternate universe the ex might have told him to bug off, or would have kept boundaries. For whatever reason he’s the one who chose to contact her romantically. If you really want to sue someone I’d say sue the ex-hubby, he’s the provider who should give back compensation for the loss of HIS marriage.

      • bhad13

        Both are responsible for the cheating, not just the husband. To suggest that the ex is innocent is ridiculous; she knew he was married, knew the impact, showed lack of care to the damge it would cause, and chose to continue. You only have a point if you’re speaking of assigning amount of blame, most should go to him but just like a driver whose partner killed someone during a crime, she is a willing accomplice. The “Life is random” sentence is pointless, not sure what point you are making as it can be applied to other crimes as well.

  • Nita

    My husband has been cheating for a while now, the first time I forgave and we moved on. It has become consistent and I thought I should stay with him for the kids because I wanted to keep my family together. When I found out about this last time, he told me he stopped, of course he didn’t. So he continued to cheat on me and then he left me. He is also a Pastor, so even though we still were not together, I continued going to the church where he pastored and did my duties and didn’t say anything. This pass Sunday was my last Sunday. The girl he was cheating with knew we were married and she was/is also married. Yes, I’m going to sue her, not for revenge, but people can’t keep getting away with stuff and thinking there are no consequences.

  • anthony

    In January I had man come in to my home while I was working 12 hour overnight shifts at my job. This man took my wife’s attention and me and my wife started fighting all the time because of this man. Then this man turned in to several men and all of these men were constantly flirting and texting my wife. This men drove me over the edge and me and my wife started getting physical because of these men. We have a baby together who is still young. My wife started going out and partying all of the time. While I was at home taking care of our son. Then we separated and one day two men attacked me with our child in my arms and she was assisting them when I tried to press charges the magistrate said I needed the Damn men’s addresses. Me and my wife got into a week before hand and she began hitting me in my face and I defended myself. Then 5 days after the men attacked me in her apartment she goes and gets a domestic violence order against me. And she gets temporary custody of our child . I was the victim here and I was the parent being a parent. What legal rights do I have to get our child back.

  • youcandthat2

    Now learn to do that yourself,magic is nothing more than the power and intention of manifesting something with universal law,you can do that too.

  • TennisHack625

    I’m a man whose wife cheated on him. She acted out after she found out about her father’s affair. Her mother did not divorce therefore his actions were perceived as condoned in my wife’s family. Adultery is like a cancer and spread to our marriage.

    What you suggest, in theory makes sense. Unfortunately, when you are actually going through the pain and rage as the betrayed spouse, divorce is really the only healthy option for you and your children. This is the only true way to stop the cancer.

    A better suggestion is to put the laws back to the way they were prior to 1925 when adultery was a crime. Alienation of affection is a breach of contract and should be punishable. That’s why the divorce rate is so high. There are no laws to protect the marriage contract anymore. In other words, only fools get married in America. In some European countries adultery is 6 to 18 month in prison for both adulterers and the divorce rate is much lower than in America.

    • bhad13

      You are correct, there is no rational reason these laws were abolished. The act cause real, permanent harm to spouse and even more so to children. One of the reasons to getting rid of these types of laws is that their considered vengeful. That rationale can be applied to most crimes and nearly every type of civil action. Allowing the wronged party to sue also enables some of the damages to be compensated for along with holding others accoutable for often despicable actions.

  • http://www.sandpoet.com neveraortic

    This ones a doosy. Bear with me.
    I lost my father to Cancer in February 2008. I was terminated from my CEO job in February 2008; I became emergently ill of bacterial endocarditis in March 2008; I had open heart surgery to replace a heart valve; one week later, I had a stroke which required brain surgery. I spent 45 days in the hospital and another 35 in cognitive rehab; the first valve failed and I was in surgery again for another AVR. During my stroke, my wife interrogated me accsuing me of having an affair with my 1st wife. Truth is, I had visited my ex while working in Florida to tell her about my fathers terminal cancer. After all, he was like a father to her during our 16 years together. My ex took my admission of this meeting as an admission of an affair. My wife visited me every two weeks in the hospital, but treated me poorly. I asked her to move to Santa Barbara(100 miles from our home) to be there every day during my hospitalization. We ahd a child in preschool and one at home. Money was not an issue. She refused to be move temporarily and help me through this trauma. Fortunately, my younger sister and my nieces held a steady vigil, which I am eternally grateful for. The Friday before my Monday scheduled surgery, she served me divorce papers The night before my 2nd heart surgery, my ex told me she was shocked that my employer had cancelled my $1 million life insurance policy and nonetheless, she hoped I died in surgery. After I was released from the hospital and rehab(114 days, altogether) I went to stay with my sister for 6 months. A month after my lst surgery, I begged her to reconsider our marriage for the childrens sake. She then told me she had met another man and was absolutely in love with him. Five years later and 4 years of therapy, I am still angry and have a tremendous amount of hate for her. I have since married a woman I met on business trip 6 months after I was released from the hospital.
    I spent half my retirement money on lawyers, but prevailed, winning joint custody and receiving most of my pre-marriage assets back. I wrote a memoir about these events of 2008 and am contemplating hving my sons read it when they are in their twenties. I am 16 years older then my ex-wife and may not live long enough to see them through college due to the longevity statistics for people who have had the same surgery as me. I believe my ex-wife was having an affair during my extended business trips to Asia and other US states. She may have thought I would be mentally challenged after the craniotomy, but I fully recovered. I think she is a sociopath. According to my therapist, anger and hate may not be optimal, but can be a coping mechanism people need to get through this cascading of traumatic events. I am not on nor have ever been on any psychiatric drugs. I did acquire epilepsy and must take blood thinners, anti-seizure meds and thyroid meds, as a result of these medical events. Taking those pills, feeling the deep scars on my chest or the plates and screws on my head are vivid reminders of this year.

    • Jim

      Unbelievable. I can only say I hope things get better for you.

    • lovelife2

      so sorry to hear that, I was thinking I have bad… I agree that law should panish cheaters and protect kids and family …

  • Ella Lohan

    “Alienation of Affection” is stupid and doesn’t actually accomplish anything. Everything in the end is up to the couple to decide, not the state. BTW revenge doesn’t do anything. The other woman can’t “steal” a dude so easily, that’s up to him and if he’s looking for an excuse to end his marriage usually. So if he leaves it’s because of him, NOT the other woman!

    • Mary Margaret

      In Texas, if someone claims “adultery” in their divorce proceedings, the “injured” spouse is entitled to 60% of the assets versus the usual 50/50% split. You can also sue some for the “alienation of affection” or “loss of spousal priviledges” which basically means that you are entitled to 50% reimbursement of anything spent on the other person that came from community property (your joint bank account). So if your spouse took the person to Vegas for the weekend and it cost $2,500 – you could get $1,250 back. I named the other woman in my divorce papers because, as I told him, “some day, some relative is going to do a genology search and find out that Aunt Vanessa was a whore and named in a divorce as the other woman”. Did it accomplish anything? Not really. But I felt really, really better afterwards.

    • chrystal90

      hi so heres my story i got married in mexico and i came back to the US i found someone else and i settled down and had 2 kids with my new fiance, im still currently married to the man in mexico, i wanted to know can i go to jail for starting a new family without getting a divorce first? anyone please help me with this question.

    • bhad13

      Sounds like somone who had it used against her; not sure what your easoning would be but an Alientation of Affection suit will compensate the damaged party somehwat and punish the wrongdoers. It will not fix what happened but will go a long way in making the victim (victims if there are children) as close whole again as possible.

  • Tony

    I live in NY, can I sue for criminal conversation?
    I also have text messages to prove the affair

  • MADELEINE

    This is my testimonial on how DR Lawrence of drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com brought back my lover within 48 hours, I came across DR Lawrence email address through my search in the net few days ago, so i emailed him about my condition and how my lover left me. He told me it would take him only 48 hours to get my ex back to me, my ex called me before 48 hours begging me to forgive him and forget about the past and he is ready to make up for lost time.drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

  • Fran

    At the time of my divorce, 5 years ago, I had my suspicions that he was cheating on me his now wife admitted to me that they started dating in February right about the time he stopped being intimate with me. We separated in late May and divorced in November, since I just found out about him cheating while we were married can I sue for alienation of affection?

  • amanada23

    i recently had a love spell cast on my partner last week after we both had a misunderstanding that almost lead to divorce and i was about losing my husband so a friend of my Natasha advice me to quickly order for reunite love spell that will make my husband change his mind from divorce which i did contact ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com after the casting of the spell i receive a call from husband apologizing to me on what happened i can’t thank you enough Dr ekaka you are indeed a god gifted spell caster.

  • nikki

    Hi, I am living in Texas right now. But Can I sue the woman who is living with my husband right now? She knew he is married, and we had new baby in that time. My husband left family for her cause that woman called him night and day, everyday, when I called her to tell to stop, she hung up. he doesn’t give me any support money for children at all for over years now. divorce is pending, but sure I see his facebook photo with her, still the relationship is going after they put kids through really hard way. Both needs to go to hell. Please advised me, I have same thoughts with Nita.

  • Scourned and on fire

    I was married 6 years, my ex filed for divorce once I had signed. Over complete power of attorney to him. I could not take his families greed and interference in our lives any more so I attempted suicide. He kept me there, then said I had to go to rehab I had no idea we were legally separated during the entire proceedings. His family said if he did not divorce me he would not get the money. I am on disability he has a juris doctorate. I got 12 grand, he got God only knows what. If it drove me to the point of wanting to end my life and caused him to take the actions he did on the promises of his family members and sole trustees and executors of his mothers will is that not a clear case?

  • Ed

    my daughter had a Boyfriend for over a year everything was great he had promised her they would have a place to live have a child then she got pregnant and he stopped seeing her would not answer Her calls I then find out he is married she has texts of him telling her all these lies he is paying her support and now visitation is starting is there a law against misrepresenting himself as a single man we live in Virginia and he lives in Maryland he is a police officer in Virginia even saw her on police time when her was working

  • Rica

    can somebody give me advice now with my current situation, my husband is cheating on me now, he beaten me last friday night on the head and dragged me out from our closet down the hall way to stairs like 6-7 steps then all the way to the main door of the house and kick me out from the house, he took all house keys from me, then Im stayin now with my work as a caregiver, and last night I open his fb account and I saw and read all the exchanges messages from his high school sweetheart and shes in rockford, actually they meet last weekend coz my husband told me that he’s gonna hang out on that lady, then now Im currently reading all their conversations, and 2 weeks ago me and by husband order a new bedroom set and it will be deliver on sat, I am devastated now, and I can call a cops to inform about my bruises and ask for protection coz Im losing my energy, and I saw his msg in fb to his mom that he is filing a divorce on me, the house acquired after we get married tho the loan is under his name but I pay and share for the mortgage, we just got married twice last May in the church… how I can sue or what charges Im going to file againts him? I have all the evidence with I took the photo of their conversation too.. pls help me, can I file or get some alimony from my husband? pls pls pls I need help, I dont know what to do :'( I am dying reading their conversations :'(

  • Mariaa Marquez

    If my aunt cheated on my uncle and now my uncle has gotten fed up so he punched her and now he’s in jail, would this be a justification for his acts?
    Please help me..

  • Bm

    I need help, my girlfriend of 8 years has been living with me, I had many text messages from his wife that they were having an affair, and all denied it, but I recently found text messages on her phone and she told me she slept with him for extra money, he is the boss’s son who handles the money and such at the store, can I sue him for damages as far as financially, or sexual harassment on behalf of her, she quit the job and now were out 500 dollars a week and I forgave her but is there something I can do through the judicial system, she worked for cash, and we live in Louisiana?

  • Greg

    Here’s one that is pretty rare to hear but trying to figure out my rights here. I have ben marked since 2006. Prior to being married my wife had several online relationships and one actuall physical affair that lasted a few weeks before I found out. We have several children together and I still loved her. She continued her online relationships. I did work a lot but no excuse. So 4 almost 5 years ago I was told I needed to move out that she was in love with some one else and she was moving the other guy in. I did all I could to hold our marriage together. I stayed and yes she did move another guy in to my house. We moved and to another house and all the stress overwhelmed me I began drinking heavily living in severe depression but stayed for my kids. A year later on my sons birthday I was told to move out at which time I did. Still trying to convince her to do the right thing. Well she didn’t she continued her affair and became pregnant. ” not mine I had a vasectomy 4 years prior”. So she asks me to move back in and be the new babies dad because the other guy is a drug addict. I did and have been for 2 years i have lived a life of such depression that I could barely function at work or as a father. We have been married on paper. After a few attempts at suicide I finally cleared my head and decided I needed out. Arround 4 months ago I met some one and have finally felt like myself again. But saying this I understand it’s a catch 22. I desperately want the divorce but at the 8 year mark she is attempting to wait for by law she will get alimony even though she has been with some one else half our marriage. I know I am stupid but is there anything I can do?