Can I Stop Child Support Payments While I’m Out of Work? 195

About: Child Support

Considerations of Employment in Child Support Orders

In many cases, if you can prove that your income has been drastically reduced – for involuntary reasons – you can have the court modify your child support order to accommodate the temporary setback (also see: bankruptcy and divorce). There are, however, a few key requirements and exceptions:

The first is that the order must be modified by the court. That is to say, you can’t just stop paying or pay reduced amounts and not expect to suffer any consequences. If you are faced with a financial hardship that you know will affect your ability to pay child support, you should consult your attorney as quickly as possible to file a motion and to request a hearing to modify the child support order.

The second exception deals with any back child support that is already due. If you have an accumulated balance of payments that were not made under the original order, it is unlikely that the judge will be able to modify your payments retroactively. This means that, while going forward you may be able to pay a reduced amount, you’ll still need to catch up the outstanding payments in full.

The last exception to this rule relates to the reason for the reduction. A financial hardship such as a layoff, an illness or some other type of emergency are all valid reasons to have your child support payments reduced. On the other hand, your inability to pay child support because you’ve taken on a larger car payment, bought a new home or any other optional type of debt will not qualify you for a lesser payment. Quite the contrary, the courts look upon child support payments as an important necessity and expect you to treat it as a priority. Poor money management or an increase in your debts because of excessive spending will not relieve you of this obligation. Likewise, if you quit your job or voluntarily take a lower-paying job, it is unlikely that the court will reduce your child support payment.

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Discussion

  • Lisa

    I believe that it is about time for me to be finished paying child support. How can I find out if I have paid in full?

    • Monica Mazzei

      There should be a court order which provides the amount and duration of support. If you do not have a copy of the court order you should request one from your county courthouse (see: local government departments).

  • Randi

    My husband was divorced for nine years, before we met. He always had his child support automatically taken out of his check.Unlike most fathers, he drove three hours one way to get his son every other weekend.( never missed a weekend) He was laid off in March of 2009. He took the notice of Issuance of Income Assignment paperwork to his former company and the accountant mailed back the paperwork stating that he no longer is employed with them. Every week Maxium calls and harrasses my husbands former employer, where they threatened them with a harrassment law suit. His court date is in December. He currently works as a security guard, no longer bringing in the three figure job he once had, and there still demanding the same amount even on security guard pay! They are taking out 50% of his salary) I feel some men are really getting screwd over with this system!! His ex-wife has her full time job. ( I also got layed off) Why can’t her income come into factor and why can’t the ex spouse have to prove where the actuall child support money goes. We are getting an attorney, because it seems the courts are not there to protect the father.

    • M. Mazzei

      In order for your husband to reduce the child support amount he is currently paying he will have to file a motion to modify support. Simply having his former employer inform the state that he is no longer employed with them does not relieve him of his obligation to pay support under the existing order. The court system does work, but procedures must be followed. Be sure that you either retain an attorney or read the local family court rules in your county.

    • Whitney

      The same kind of situation happened to my husband and his ex wife. She left him and was ordered to pay child support, my husband told the court he did not want any child support but just to be involved in his kid’s life. Then , he go a better paying job and now all of a sudden we are back in court because his greedy ex wife “needs” more money. What’s funny is she is constantly on vacation but yet she can’t buy their kid clothes? She ended up moving to Iowa for her bf she met online. Anyway my husband moved to the same city where she was at that way they can share custody. At that point he took a pay cut and living expenses were higher. When they finally went to court 6 months later he was ordered to pay 50% of what he was now making. My husband and I have 3 kids together and couldn’t afford food or shelter costs anymore. This is just ridiculous! We were taking his son the ordered time+ extra when she needed it. It’s good to know how our “government” screws over the fathers in almost every situation. We have since moved back to our home state because of all the financial debt his ex wife has caused. Now we pay her about 30% of his monthly income and still have debt piling on us because of it. I don’t understand how he is required to pay so much for 1 child (while we have 3 together) and I believe she makes MORE money than him!

      • Jenny

        Yep…. you sure would feel different if you were the one getting child support. This child was born BEFORE you decided to get married and have 3 other children. No reason the child should be put on the back burner because of your decisions. As a mother, I am sure you understand wanting the best for your children and standing up for what they deserve. The government does not screw over fathers. I would challenge you to raise your 3 kids by yourself and not have the same feelings that his ex wife does. Just saying.

        • Sue

          “The government does not screw over fathers. I would challenge you to raise your 3 kids by yourself and not have the same feelings that his ex wife does. Just saying.”
          Men do not have rights when it comes to child support orders, especially the ones who were never married to the mother and the relationship was terminated. The woman makes the decision on whether or not she will abort or have the child etc. The man ‘s responsibilities are determined by the woman’s decision.
          Wonder how the decision was made to suspend drivers licenses if someone is behind on child support for whatever reason. Sounds difficult to maintain a job or seek employment. And apparently we live in a society that has reinstated debtor’s prison. Ever been late paying one of your bills because times are tough economically speaking? If you were then you should be put in jail according to the logic of child support laws. Yes, let’s incarcerate people if they can’t afford to pay their bills.
          And to the woman who made the comments I quoted in the beginning of my post, I challenge you to be the one who pays the support. Just saying.

        • Debbie

          I agree that the government does screw over person’s, man or woman, paying child support and I happened to have been on both sides of the paying support and receiving it. I raised my son by myself and worked 4 jobs to do so all the while he had leukemia and would do it all over again without a dime from his father cause I not him made the choice to become pregnant and so does every other woman in this world unless she is raped. There is free help and birthcontrol out there to avoid pregnancy if you so choose. Child support SHOULD NOT be based on a person’s, man or women, salary. It SHOULD BE A STANDARD COST OF LIVING. Both parents have to have all the basics in life such as electric, heat, air, water so this should not be the noncustodial parents responsibility to provide this in the custodial parents household. Child support should be based on what it takes to feed, cloth and school a child, which should not include extra curricular activies. Extras should have to be agreed upon by both parents and the cost needs to be held to a minimum.
          When a parent decides to better themselves by working two jobs or getting a better job the other parent SHOULD NOT benefit from this advancement just because the two parties have child(ren) together. There are bad fathers and mothers on both sides but I can see how so many parents hide from the system and don’t pay support because THEY DO GET SHAFTED IN THE COURT SYSTEMS TODAY.
          The entire reason for the corrupt judical system today is because this world has taken GOD out of it.

        • Greg

          My wife traded sexual favors for crack with several men. I had learned about this from one of her friends. When I got a private investigator to get the proof I needed to try to get custody of our two young boys I was met with insurmountable difficulties from the Bedford county court system in Virginia. A man named Kevin Chapman from Chapman investigations charged me over $2000 and strung me along telling me that he had all the information I needed to get custody of my children. After spending thousands of dollars on several lawyers and this private investigator I ended up losing custody. The system is beyond f@$&ed up. Recently my son told me about the wife’s bf touching him inappropriately. Reported to CPS and was told that complaint was unfounded. If you can defend this sort of behavior then there should be a special place in hell reserved for you. I can’t help feeling extreme misanthropy towards the courts, police, cps, dcse, lawyers, and this private investigator. Justice at work in the United States. We all should be so proud.

        • kit

          I have three kids with my exhusband. He has outright refused to pay support. I had a major car accident wile driving the 2800 miles so my ex and his family could visit with the kids. He called once to leave a message that because I had so rudely not shown he was leaving that state and he went off and married some literal drug addict. I thankfully didnt get that message until a month later once I was out of the hospital.
          The front axle had split on my mini van. The front had dipped down hitting a rail. The airbag poped out crushing my L4L5 distroying four disks and pushing the s1 vertebrea halfway out the back. Thankfully my children only had cuts n bruises.
          Now my ex who just got out of prison for car theft his new wifes dads car to be exact. They have horrible domestic issues. This year there were 3 dropped charges on him and two on her for assulting eachother.
          Now childsupport has held him in contempt three times and ive never seen anything. He still has his licence. Never was held in jail for it. And now his cheating wife got pregnant wile he was in prison and hes going to get a credit for that kid cause in that state even kids born after are. Considered.So my kids didnt get gym shoes, i’m waiting on disability. My ex and his wife live in her parents home. I struggle to keep my home. So if people say other kids should be considered think of this. If you think dads have it so bad and this is a country were the
          y put u in debtors jail think of were my kids nex meals comming from or how im going to pay my doctors bills.

        • John

          shut up !!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have no idea what fathers go through.

        • bryan

          I have 3 daughters and live with me im a father i had to pay child support at a time let me tell you mam u dont know the least bit of wats really going onto us my daughters moved in three years ago and i havent had to pay child support and they still took it out for almost a year try raising your kids lady withthat said for the last two years they offset my taxes and months i had to wait to get my return back. ontop wen you owe them they charge intrest on you being late why cant i they owed me 2780 i had to wait so get your shit right you dont know the least bit of real dads have to pay for.another thing i can say tell me it ant the truth wen a man supports is kids n they live with him why dont the man take the women for child support plz you women wouldent last a week better yet almost all not all cause theres alot of great supporting mothers out there n you might be one the thing is men dont use child support as a paycheck like most do and men dont go
          downtown on welfere and live off the goverment
          tell me im wrong and child support checks come on thets look it the facts here.it ruined my life and took alot of money away even with the court odered to stop child support you no how hard it was and you didnt see me run down n get goverment assitants in ill bet you dont support your kids with just working plz lmfao. A child is not a pawn both parents should pay 50/50 n child support is for you n for your kid it ant a god dam paycheck so you can sit at home. you made your baby you both brought him or her n this shit world . all men are not the same and either are yous . dont sot hee and tell me that the good dads out here arent paying for alll alll the deadbeat dad and moms !!!!”

    • M25Mariah

      You would feel different about this if you were the one getting the child support.

      • nick

        exactly! why wouldnt the one that gets the support, not want it to end, its free money the government enforces to pay. and drop the i have so many kids n lalala. the mother should be forced to work as well or the kids go to the father, and we’ll see how you like it. the current child support system is extremely corrupt and needs serious revisement!

    • krinkles

      I understand your frustration with child support. Having children increases responsibility to both parents. it is unfortunate that your husband has been through this but the children are the most important. Work extra and tell your husband to work extra. Don’t make the kids suffer. life isn’t easy but kids seem to pay the price and they get tugged back and forth. It all comes with having kids. if more people realized this upfront, kids would not suffer as much due to parents because people would think before they had them. i am a single mother of three and have two deadbeat dads. i have spent a lot of time in court. I got sick and tired of watching my kids suffer. Now I am in an RN program. I have to better my life to better theirs. Hope I didnt ruffle your feathers but everyone seems concerend with their lives, no one considers the children and what they are going through. life is not fair.

    • Carmendy

      Randi, you are absolutely right, the courts are not there to protect the father, they are their to protect the child.

      I do sympathize with your situation, as it seems you’ve tried to do right to this point. Hopefully, if the child support is an excessive amount, it can be adjusted. I don’t agree at all with temporary stops however. He’s not just sending money to his ex, he’s paying support for his child. What would happen if she lost her job? Could she just say to the child, “oh well, I don’t have any money right now things are tight, you’ll just have to starve now, I can only afford to take care of me.” I think not, as a parent we have to figure out how to take care of our children no matter what, and ensure they have their needs met. It’s a JOINT responsibility, as it was a joint action that brought them into the world.

      Those who do not support their children, should be charged with abandonment.

      I can understand reductions in support, in some situations, such as yours. With such drastic reductions in the economy, we all have to learn to live with a little less. I think Child Support should be based on a fair average amount, and only more when it’s sustainable. I say that because, it’s also not right for someone to live wealthy and “high on the hog”, while their children live like paupers.

      I do hope that your family is able to reach a suitable compromise that aleviates some of your burden, but still adequetelly supports the child in question.

      • Kareem

        Please, Fathers totally get screwed… the system does not work, sorry they did not teach you all that in law school.

      • nick

        you are wrong

    • nick

      of coarse fathers get screwd! the women gets several attournies, or whatever they r and we have to hire and pay a lawyer when have to do nothing. i was taken off worf for good due to injuries from a broken back, and they said i was still able to pay and i chose not to. which is absolutely not the case, i can barely move half the time. i was found in contempt and am now facing jail time, i still cant work, surgery wont help and could very well make it much worse. not sure what imgoing to do

  • Randi

    We retained an attorney that deals with family law, our court date has been set. My husband not once has ever complained about the child support he has been paying, according to him, it’s a small price to pay for his sanity!!! Thanks

  • Tommie D

    My husband is paying extra on his child support for insurance but we now carry it for his daughter. They told him he has to file for a modification hearing and prove she is covered. His order is just a yr old. He is current and only wants the medical expenses dropped off. Will they try and change his child support order or modify the insurance part? I would hate to show up and get screwed. We are in Texas!!

  • Melissa

    how does one go about filing for a reduction when he is out of work for the past 7 months

    • M. Mazzei

      If there has been a reduction in the payor’s earnings, the payor can file a “Motion for a Modification of Support.” You should be able to download this form from your state’s family law court website.

      The payor will have to provide the court with evidence of the reduction of income, so the payor should attach to the motion copies of his/her most recent paystubs which show the reduced income.

  • http://Myfamilylaw Roxanne Aiello

    IM a self-employed hairdresser,paying support to my ex.and my 19yo son is away at college.I had to sell my home,cash in my IRA,and move in with my boyfriend.I deposit monies every month into my sons checking account and have sent him food and fix his car,besides sending his dad money.I’m wiped out finanically,our son is not without anything(within reason).I would like to modify to terminate childsupport.My ex.has a state job,6-figure home new truck,snowmobile,motorcycle,besideshunting trips.

    • Monica

      There is no obligation to pay child support for a child who is eighteen years of age and graduated from high school.

      • Karen

        Does this obligation apply to NJ? Don’t NJ courts on average expect that child support to be paid while the child is in college?
        My husband lost his job. He may get bumped to a lower position.
        Can he modify his child support for his change in work situation and at the same time emancipate one child or will that look like he’s avoiding paying? The two children are both away at colleges and one is 21 in August and the other is 23 in October.

      • KMarie

        Well, I wrote earlier that my husband lost his job. He has no degree and was at a township job for 23 years and has no potential of ever seeing that salary again. We are in NJ and one child is almost 22 and the other is almost 24. While you said their is no legal obiligation to pay child support after 18, we requested emanacipation (the oldest child said the mom would not contest).
        Well, she contested and the court denied it. (NJ apparently feels that a parent should pay up to 5 years of college). Originally we would have waited and just applied for a modification but now we are even afraid to do that because she claimed she spent 10 K on their college expenses even though they both have loans. We are afraid if we ask for modificaiton that instead of lowering it they will use his last years tax statement to base the calculation and add college onto the already existing cost of Child support.
        We are paying approx. Child support take half of the unemployment and the majority of the rest of the money pays for
        Cobra health insurance. Its like we are punished. I’ve lost hope and fear losing the house,. We have been getting by from help from family but that can’t continue forever

  • Josh

    My ex-wife and I have been divorced for 8 years and when she filed for divorce she got sole custody of our son and she didn’t want any child support so I wouldn’t get any visitation. The court in California gave her everything she asked for and I left for Alabama. Now, 8 years later I am remarried with a 6 year old and a new baby on the way with my wife and now my ex-wife wants child support and back child support. My ex-wife has bas since had 2 other children from 2 different dads and she constantly moves and recently got divorced from the 3rd childs father. She is threatening me and my wife with wage garnishments and constantly harrases us.

    • http://myfamilylaw.com/yp/monica_c_mazzei Monica

      You should review the last court order. If the court order/agreement was silent as to child support, she is entitled to seek child support from you now. The fact that you did not have any visitation is irrelevant to the issue of child support. Even if you do not see your son, you still have an obligation to support him financially.

      • johhnman2880

        I think your a fucking retard bitch!!!

        • Ellen

          Hey johhnman2880 – Funny how you can have such balls and a big mouth when you’re anonymous! I’d like to see what you would say if everyone knew who you were. We can tell by your comment, it’s obvious you have never raised a child or children. Finally and most important, although a custodial parent may earn millions of dollars, have a minimum wage job or no job at all for whatever reason, it will NEVER absolve (is that too big a word for you?) the non-custodial parent from a child support obligation. I feel sorry for you, your ignorance, and most likely…small penis.

      • anonymous20

        if there is no court order on child support in the divorce decree then she can’t get you for back child support bc that is a binding agreement but she can take you to court and request child support but you can also request visitation and have it enforced as well.

  • Zed

    I am receiving unemployment now. They are taking child support from me at a reduced rate according to what I am receving. I got a letter from the child support office and they say I owe. How can I prove they are taking child support from me and she is receving the money?

  • chris

    I’m considering working part time so that I have time to go back to school and finish my degree. Since the decision to work part time would be my decision, would I be able to modify the existing order to reflect a lower gross income? Or would I be required to pay the current amount despite not making the same amount each month?

    A second question is right now im required to pay a ridiculously high amount for medicaid. After doing some research, it appears that I can get better coverage for my child through private insurance at about half the cost. I’m being told that both parties have to consent to this change before it can be made? Is this true, or because I’m paying for the insurance can I proactively get a new policy and then have the court order modified?

    • http://myfamilylaw.com/yp/monica_c_mazzei Monica

      You can file an action in family court to modify child support based on your reduced income. With respect to the health insurance for your child, you should refer to the terms of your Judgment or court order.

  • sheri

    We live in Indianapolis, IN. We have custody of my husbands daughter. Her mother is suppose to pay support, but about two months ago the payments stopped. She informed us that she wasn’t working due to medical problems (not sure what they are though). She has asked that my husband emancipate their daughter. She is 18 and a full time college student and still lives at home. Her mother is trying to get disability. If she gets disability does child support automatically stop? If so will she be liable for the back support that she owes?

    • Monica

      If mother stopped paying child support you should file an action in family court to collect the child support she owes. Mother will have to provide evidence to the court that she is longer working and has no income in order to be relieved of her obligation to pay the court ordered child support.

  • sheri

    if she is granted disability will she still be obligated to pay child support.

    • http://myfamilylaw.com/yp/monica_c_mazzei Monica

      Whether disability benefits are considered as income for purposes of child support various from state to state, so you should consult the laws in your state and county.

  • Tiffany

    My fiance currently pays child support but in about a month we are moving his ex and his son in with us, from out of state. what happens to the child support once they move in with us? He owes for back support and he is more than willing to pay it off but will he still have to continue making weekly support payments for current and future support if they live under the same roof as us?

    • http://myfamilylaw.com/yp/monica_c_mazzei Monica

      Until you file a motion or agreement to modify the current child support order, it will remain enforceable.

  • VJL

    My fiancé pays childsupport with a court order. His ex last year didn’t receive two checks on time and went to the county to file for Child support. She finally received the check. Just yesterday we received paperwork and his job got an order to garnish wages that are already being taken out. It’s stating that he’s to pay x amount plus back of x amount. We have got the print out from thecemployer that he’s been payingand over paid. Will the county reverse this. They r saying they’ll take our taxes. There has been no change and the ex hasnt done anything since she thought she wasn’t getting money. What can we do? Also what can we do to get the mother to pay back the overpayment?

    • http://myfamilylaw.com/yp/monica_c_mazzei Monica

      Your fiance must file a motion with the court requesting that he be credited with the overpayment of child support.

    • anonymous20

      you can file injured spouse and get your portion of the tax return and she can’t touch that

  • cindy

    My ex, quits his job because he is trying to get his disability. He owes me close to 3000.00 in back child support. Now, he wants his back child suppot to be modified. Can the courts back up and decrease his back child support that he owes me?

  • Candy

    My soon to be ex and I have joint legal custody of our 3 children and I have primary physical custody. I am in SC and he is in Alabama. When the children go to his house for the summer, will he still be required to pay me child support? We are in the early stages of everything so currently do not have a child support order in place yet (he hasn’t started at his job there yet). Since he has not paid for these last couple months, will he be required to pay back support?

  • wendi

    Can you ask to modify child support for car payment? My husband has custody of both of his kids and the mom chooses not to work, because her husband is in army. so we get little child support for 2 kids. now it is time for both of them to drive , can we modify to help pay expenses.

  • Troy Helton

    I am living off of Unemployment and have gone back to college! my child support was set by the Judge based upon my unemployment gross wages. After being advised by the people who do my taxes! I am now going to have fed. and state taxes taken out of those wages plus, the extra $25.00 that Obama has been giving us on unemployment is supposed to go away in May ! My question is can I get my child support reduced ? and what agency will re-evaluate it ! they told me at the Ga DOL that I should contact the (child support recovery) or should I go to the local DFCS ? I have been told that there is a State Gov. agency that can do it without going back to court ??? Because most of my income is going out and there is not much left to live on !

  • Michelle

    My ex husband lost his job about 2 1/2 months ago and stopped paying child support. Do I need to wait until he finds a new job to file for the support that is now in arrears? It’s already over $3K, and he shows absolutely no inclination to pay a penny towards anything. He hasn’t had a single interview and he’s not even looking for a part time job. Not sure if I should call the Texas Attorney General child support unit now or wait until he finds a job?

    • http://myfamilylaw.com/yp/monica_c_mazzei Monica

      You should file for the arrears now. The court can issue an order and in most cases garnish any wages when he receives them. You want an order in place and start to collect as soon as he starts working, so you want to obtain an order now.

      • Michelle

        I guess I’m concerned that if I file for the arrears, and there is a judgment for non-payment of child support, if a prospective employer does a background check and sees that, they may not hire him?

        • anonymous20

          i wouldnt do as she says. i would wait. But, i also would give him a chance to start paying again. the economy is tough and i wouldn’t do that to my ex husband. she just sounds greedy for money in my book

  • jennifer kavanagh

    In the state of Ga my daughter pays child support, but at one point she lost her job. She has one now and is paying the required amount and extra each month to catch up. Her ex now wants it all at once or is going to sue her for contempt of court. Is she in contempt of court?

  • SRGantt

    I am having a horrible time having Georgia enforce their own court order! I moved to Kansas after my legal separation in June 2006. My divorce was final in September 2008. Per both orders I was to recieve child support, he was to pay for her health care and he gets her every other holiday and June- July 31st. Now, when I first left, he paid when he wanted to and it was annoying. I went to my local SRS office, in 2007, they opened a case, sent him a letter and he started paying again. Well, they never got it set up through the courts, he was sending me moneygrams. I thought it was all whatever. Well apparently they re-opened the case in January 2009. They reported to his credit that he owes me $15,000.00 (548.39 per month is my order) and I guess they assumed no payments recieved from the time I came in 2007 to present. He calls me in April of 2009 yelling and cussing, calling me a liar, I had NO CLUE they had done this. I called them and sent them a spreadsheet of the moneygrams I had received. Well, since this time, he has gotten a new job and being paying me less and I didnt’ complain.. he was now sending 240 most months.. after they started sending him letters and things he stopped sending even the 240.00. I received 180 in November, nothing in december 2009. And then 50.00 in Feb and 50.00 in March. Kansas keeps saying they have verified his employeer they have sent all the paperwork to GA and they have to wait for themt o enforce the income deduction order. This was sent to them in January, GA confirmed receipt of documents March 5th received but didnt’ tell KS they got it until March 18th. My ex went to the DA’s office ((he said voluntarily, and that KS is not helping me, that he is doing all of this on his own and I need to stop believing what KS says). GA opened an arrears case with the state of GA and myself as the plantiff and he the defendent on March 18th. They served him on March 29th according to the court records on line. He went to see the DA on March 26th. Here it is May 12th and I STILL HAVE NO PAYMENTS. I call GA and they say they can not talk to me, I have to talk to KS. I call KS and they say GA hasn’t done anything and that my Ex had them set aside the current support until he gets a modification in place and they figure out the correct arrears amount?>!!! Can this be right? I don’t understand. Meanwhile, I am the full support for OUR daughter, who he calls and talks to on MY PHONE for atleast one hour a week. And she is suppose to go be with him per the court order for the summer, and I don’t understand how this is fair. He is employed and gets paid weekly. He enjoys his check, with no responsibilities yet I have to send book fair money and trips and lunches and day care and health care and new tennis shoes, and I have to have this new necklace.. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS. Its a GEORGIA court order, he filed for the divorce with AN ATTORNEY.. he is more than 30 days in arrears (SEVERAL TIMES he has been and currently) why won’t anybody do anything? Who can I complain to in GA for a response or answers.. This is ridiculous. Everyone has threatened him, and did nothing he sees that now, and he is not paying anything. AND EVEN CALLED KS AND TOLD THEM TO STOP SENDING HIM LETTERS HE IS NOT PAYING THEM ANY MONEY. HELP..

    • anonymous20

      you don’t have to send her then. and you wouldn’t be in contempt of court bc he is behind.

  • Gary Triano

    I just lost my job at ups cause I had two major back surgeries and got perm work restrictions placed on me so I had to resign. I was making 30.00 an hour but their is no way I will make that kinda money every again due to my injury. I live In Colorado. Can they reduce my support while I’m out of work? When I do find work it will be way less then what I was making will they perm reduce or am I screwed?

  • Edward Oliver

    My boyfriend lost his job in Oct 2009 he got fired and so its kind of hard for him to get a job. With a Felony on his record for Grand theft it is hard to find a job ,can he turn it off till he finds a job again. His ex works and he doesnt. The state is acting for 300.00 a month. Can we do anything to stop or put on back pay? Also when the money was decide he was working two jobs a moving company and seasonal stocker job in retail.

    • anonymous20

      you can get a notice of job seperation and do a modification order

  • eddie

    i am on disability and i have contacted child support and even asked for a modification on my case of which i sent the court my son turns 18 this october and i am 5 months in the arrears i even went to the child support office to get a little time on the payments all i got from them was my drivers licence is going to be suspended and it will take 6 months to do a modification is there any remedy to this

    • Sharon

      My ex told his sister he was going to try to get on disability so he can stop paying child support. Is that possible? He is apparently under the impression that as long as he’s labeled “disabled” he is no longer obligated to pay child support to me and my son as well as another child from another woman. (I know…what an upstanding man I chose to have a child with, huh?)

      • paige

        news flash dissability is a court ordered garnishment he will have to pay….. go get him

  • J78

    I was recently layed off, so I am now trying to take advantage of my education benifits from being in the military. I have requested a reduction in child support payments while I am a full time student as I will be on a fixed income. Of course, the response was that they dont see fit to lower my payments. Is there any legal recourse protecting me, or am I just going to have lose my education benifits because I cant afford to pay the extortion?

  • Danny Wolfe

    I pay child support on my daughter,i left my job in July of 2008 voluntarily to move with my current wife as she received a promotion in Utah.I drew unemployment till it ran out, we chose for me to be a stay at home dad to our 2 boys since no job offers came. Can i reduce my child support since i am unemployed? I live in Colorado now my daughter lives in Texas where the original paperwork was filed.

  • KOsmond

    I had custody over my three boys for the first 3 years of my divorce. My oldest son went to live with my ex husband in 2005. We only modified the custody from the original divorce order and verbally agreed to a child support amount. Now, five years later, my ex is trying to say that he was only suppose to pay me “x” amount of dollars, based of the original child support order on a split custody child support table since we never filed a new child support order with the modification of custody in 2005, and now wants a credit. I cannot find anything regarding to Utah Statute or Utah case law that reflects if my ex is really entitled to a child support overpayment? I seem to think that any voluntary payments above and beyond what he was suppose to pay would be considered a gift?

    • anonymous20

      no unfortunately it is not a gift. if he has reciepts for this he can use it as proof. he is not gifting you. he is providing for his child. Me and my ex husband do not have a custody order and he pays me a set amount on time each month. he sends extra only to help out with my daughter and i take that into consideration of helping provide for our daughter. but the courts will not come after you for child support overpayment. that is ridiculous. they might credit the extras to help lower his monthly payments in a modification order or use that to help calculate a lower payment. but what was spent before cant be refunded to him.

  • michelle

    Are there ever any exceptions? We are in a situation, where my husband and I live 2500.00 miles apart. I live in Michigan, he is in California. For him to take a job in Michigan would mean a decrease in pay because of cost of living. I cannot live in california because of my children residing in Michigan.
    My husband does not want to shun his responsibilities, he just wants to be allowed to live with his wife. The child support was only increased a few months ago, before that time it was considerably less. It went from 200.00 a month to 1000.00 a month. We wish we had known this was coming and moved before this time, so that child support could be an amount wee could afford. He was never married to the mother (they were 18 when the child was born), in fact while he was in bootcamp she started dating another man, and married him when her son was 3 months old. She has not allowed contact, or has made it very difficult. The child only recently found out that my husband even existed. My husband is now stuck in California, Myself in Michigan. Does a judge ever make special considerations for circumstances? The mother has told my husband that she will not allow visitation. And it seems she can do this. She modified after quiting a long time job with the state, she simply did not want to work anymore. How is this fair? They used a minimum wage calculation for her, rather than her potential income based on what she made with the state.
    I don’t understand how this can actually happen, my husband and I cannot be together, because she wants to be a stay at home mom. We do not have money for lawyers, or even the paternity test that should have been done 12 years ago. I know we need a lawyer, but until we find one that is greatly reduced, or will work pro bono for a special situation, we cannot go this route. My husband got out of the navy only 4 years ago, He was one of the few who was not affected by the economy, but in once short judgement he has become one of the statistics. He is losing his home and his credit is ruined. All for a child he isn’t even sure is his.

  • Jennifer

    I have always wanted to support my children to the best of my ability. However, the past two years I have been unable to work because of medical illnesses. Yet, I have always tried to give them something, even if its only 25.oo. I have communicated this to my local agency. But the child support agency has now been treating me as if I’m some criminal trying to avoid payments. I cannot work therefore, I cannot pay my full amount and do not know what to do or how to go about modifying my child support order. Any information you may provide me with will be greatly accepted.

  • amy

    My husband recently found out he had a child that is 10 years old. He went to court to pay child support after a dna test was done, His been talking to the mother about visting, However they live 20 hour apart so she is coming to stay with us in the summer for 3 months well he have to pay child support pays for those 3 month that she is living with us?

  • infoneeded

    My boyfriend live in the state of Texas;we have been together for 5 yrs. and I have a daughter from a previous relationship while he has 5 older kids from another relationship (all under 18yrs. old). Moreover, he and I have two children together (one is a newborn). He is a hard working self-employed man who loves all of his children and spends time with them all. He wants us to get married but, I’m afraid that his child support debt (rears) will become my debt. Will have to pay child support too once we get married?

    • anonymous20

      no you can file for injured spouse and she can’t get your income. only his. (when doing taxes) and it is only his gross that counts. not yours.

  • Out of Money

    I still have 20 months left on child support in Florida. My income disappeared (self employed) due to the recession is now 50% less. I had to move from Florida to Texas to take a job from one of my clients in order to even have income. They pay me through my company. I am 30 days in arrears for the first time in 18 years. I also pre-paid for both children’s college tuition. I wanted to file for a modification, or pay less per month for a longer time. My ex-wife said I will lose my license and my wages will be garnished. She also said I can go to jail. What are the consequences? My permanent residence and address is Texas. I pay to the state of Florida. My wife makes great money as does her husband. I appreciate any help.

    • anonymous20

      just bring a copy of seperation from you last job and file a modification. those things are true but she is stretching them. most women are greedy when it comes to money and i am a women and i believe this. my ex husband and current bf have been through hell and they pay ontime and are not allowed to see there kids only when it is convenient to the other parent. and also child support charges interest and it grows everyday which is not really fair. you need to bring this to your case worker from child support services or get a lawyer.

  • Joujou

    I’m a single mom of a 22 month old in Charles County, Maryland. I was laid off and am now unemployed. In addition to my unemployment benefits, I’ve been receiving a court ordered child support. My son’s father is now looking to dismiss his child support payments because our son is no longer going to child care and is home with me. I’m trying to find out if there is a circumstance that would allow me to continue to receive the child support.

    • anonymous20

      he cant dismiss the payments bc you are a stay at home mother. that is ridiculus. he has to pay his portion too. he is just scaring you. go to child support and get him.

  • JJ

    My son’s father has been paying support for the past 10+ yrs and here’s the story. When he was served, he waited until the last possible moment (almost a year) before signing the papers BUT he quit his job right after he was served, went to work retail and then right before he signed the papers, he went back to his original job, but took a substantial loss (when someone quits and comes back, they go back to starting pay and has to work his way back up) thru the grapevine we learned he did this on purpose and THEN he kept his retail job part time, but did not tell us (I again found out thru the grapevine) I never took him back to court my child is on my insurance because it was cheaper for him to be on mine, so he pays 1/2 (at that cost and as we all know ins cost have risen substantially). He was supposed to also pay 50% of medial and child care costs (in our legal agreement). He did up until 2 yrs ago. Our son was dx with an incurable disease and medical costs accrue every month (prescriptions and dr visits) I have always asked him to please pay something, anything if even $25 a week (as of now he is $4k in arrears with the medical and child care costs), but he said he couldn’t. I talked about going to court and he threaten to quit his job. (I have this all in writing via emails) so I talked to my lawyer but didn’t do anything. I was just informed by him that he is moving out of state, he’s quitting the job he has had for over a dozen years and moving without a job. He said he should be fine for a while out there if he doesn’t find a job right away, but that his lawyer told him he needs to file for abatement of support once he quits and moves. Do you think the court really would grant that? He is in a field where he received pay increases after he passed certain things and that happened all the time, I can be quite certain that he is making substantially more than he did 10+ yrs ago. My lawyer wants to submit for back support since he never filed his W2s as stated in our agreement and had 2 jobs and never notified the courts. If he quits his job and doesn’t have any income, would they grant the back support to me? And he would just have to pay it once he gets work? My son is now 14 (he was 1 when I filed and 2 when he finally signed the papers) The judge made him pay support from the day he was born, but he couldn’t afford to pay a lump sum so it was written into our agreement and it ended about 6 months ago, he said something to me but I told him that a)the difference of that amount (which was approx $10 per week) and the difference that I pay in Ins for him now (which is much more than $10 a week) can help towards that, unless he wanted to go back to court, but I told him, I’m pretty sure that if we do, the whole support order might be looked at and would then be set to what he was making then. He didn’t like that idea (as of course he would pay substantially more). I just really wonder, is he shooting himself in the foot or is my son going to get screwed and I’ll have less each month?

  • Mia

    My divorce was finalized in may 2009 and the visitation states “reasonable visitation”. The decree was filed & finalized in Kentucky. Since our separation (3/2008) until present, I have seen my children a total of eight (8) DAYS for visitation. The ex keeps telling me that they can’t commit to any dates regardless how far in advance I try to schedule a visit. They live in KY & I live in another state, so schedule adherence is paramount due to the travel involved. ( I pay all travel expenses). Do I need to file a motion for contempt or a modification of the original visitation schedule? Also once the court determines a set schedule, how do I get it enforced should the ex still refuse to commit to dates of visitation? Please help, as this has been an issue for years.

    • anonymous20

      you will just have to file contempt of court. however many times it takes.

  • Will

    Fuck no! Those crooked cock suckers don’t give a shit if they put fathers out in the street, which in effect takes away your parenting time for not providing a home. It’s a terrible catch 22. They don’t really give a damn for the well-being of the children as long as they can go home and eat a big fat steak. Everyone in the justice system will burn in hell one day. The only way you will survive is by working 2 jobs, which of course will also take away time from your children. It’s the most evil, corrupt, money greedy, sorry excuse of a justice system in the world. Sorry my friend, I share your burden. Pretty much your born screwed in this evil domestic justice system if you have a penis.

    • Mike

      You are right. To date I’ve paid 283,000 in child support and she ran off with my child for 3 years. I had to track them down. My child hates me and will not talk to me.. I am just a wallet and a slave

    • Lisa

      If you didn’t want to support your children, you should have kept that little penis in check!!! Since you obviously haven’t a clue, a condom is a hell of a lot cheaper than supporting a child!! Basic math. Seriously, where have all the MEN gone?!! If you’re stupid enough to continue impregnating women, when you obviously don’t care enough to support the ones you already have, then your ass needs to work 24/7!!

      And, to the bitching ‘new’ wives: find a man with no prior obligations to any child(ren)!! Damn, you women are as stupid as the deadbeats that you married!!!!! How desperate for a man are YOU??? Btw, if you have time to type out your ‘woe is me’ saga, you could be working and making extra money to support the children!! Man-up, woman-up, or shut the fuck up!!

  • michelle

    My exhusband is claiming he is now disabled and is applying for disability. He is asking the court to reduce or drop his child support payments down to nothing? He hurt his hand on purpose and now claims he cannot work becuase he cannot feel anything in this one hand. Not to mention he owes me over ten thousand dollars in back support. How can I fight the reduction in child support. This guy is lazy and has never worked much and has gotten hurt on almost every job he has ever had. Yhis is Wisconsin case. Thanks

  • Shari

    Can my fiancees ex call employer when her support . she has called past employers , college he attended and had family memebers spy on him. She also states she cant let kids call because her lawyer told her not to let them call , she send harrassing letters. what can he do.

  • Michael

    I am in the state of California. I have mistakenly overpaid my child support for the past few years. I just recently caught it and my question is if I pay X amount this next month and it equals the TOTAL amount I was to pay per the judgment, can I just pay the X amount this month and be done? Or, do I need to keep making payments unit the Time specified in the judgment? (If I continue until the TIME of payment is supposed to end I will have then overpaid by a very large amount.) I am in the state of California.

  • berry

    I pay child support and i was unable to pay it for about two months because I had a baby and was not able to go back to work until I got a clearance from my doctor. I was not able to pay child support within that amount of time, now my ex-husband wants to use it against me and take me to court, unless i give him 100 dollars then he’ll just let it slide. My children have been with me for a little over a month now, and he still wants the money. what do i do? do i give him 100 dollars in exchange for him not reporting me because i was unable to pay? is there a right to which i do not have to pay because of not being able to work?

  • Stephen

    I had custody of my son for the 1st 2 years after my divorce. she paid me child support and court ordered she also pay insurance. After 2 years she got custody of him because she had since married her old boss and was pregnant with a daughter. The court felt it was a more home-like environment. At that point I started paying Child support., but again, she had to pay insurance. 2 years ago the court reversed its insurance decision, so I began paying child support, insurance, AND back insurance! 40% of my income! I am now about to be laid off August 31st and unemployment will be based on last years income, which were drastically lower, and Ill still be paying the same child support but insurance x2? Sorry, I cannot afford to retain a lawyer. I can hardly buy Ramen. What options do i have?

  • jaime

    We live in CT and my ex just got fired from his second job… Now wants a reduction in child support. How can I fight this.

  • Lillia

    My husband’s ex took off w/ their daughter out of state when she was 2 1/2, they were never married. He hired 2 private investigators to find her but, she would move constantly and he couldn’t keep up finacially w/ the rabbit chase of hiring private investigators and flying out of state to visit. Now years later, we recieved a support order to start paying, our lawyer contested because she ran off w/ their daughter and we are having a hard time financially but, now she told him we are going to get served more papers for back child support too. How far back can she get us for?

  • Jane

    I just received a motion filed by my son’s father to terminate child support. My son is 20 and going to college, but took the fall semester off since he couldnt get into any of his classes. I am a single mother and I’ve never asked for anything from his father since we divorced 20yrs ago. My child support has not changed for 15yrs as well and we get the min amount. I’ve paid for everything from camp/braces/ car/college. We live in NJ, is there anything I can do to stop this with out hiring a lawyer?

  • Last Straw

    Please help,

    I have recently applied for a modification for my child support for a 5th time in 2 years and was awarded a decreased monthly amount based on Preexisting child support orders from Louisiana.

    The current support in Texas is 568.00 for a 5 year old who is over seas with his mom who is Active Army.

    The Current Louisiana support is 374.00 for my 11 year old who is down here with me. I been on court ordered child support for my oldest child since 2004. But Texas never included this when they first filed my support orders which is why I am now due a decrease.

    The attorney General in San Antonio is telling me the modification is awarded in my favor but without the other party Agreeing or Disagreeing there is nothing they can do to change my payments. I am sure if I received a raise of lets say double of what I make now TEXAS would not wait for me to AGREE or DISAGREE instead they would up my support andI would have to deal with it.

    She recently extended 3 more years over seas after her initial 2 years and will continue to extend up until my son emancipates and I am no longer paying child support to her.

    1st Question is this:
    If I qualify for a decrease like the attorney general in texas states lets say as of June 2011 and she avoids the Attorney General for the next 13 years should I be entitled to the overage that I am paying to her?

    At the moment I am not in arrears for both cases BUT I am now living with my parents because I cannot afford to rent, lease or purchase a HOME for myself, fiancee, her 4 year old and my 11 year old whom I have every weekend and Summers.

    Something has to be done about this I strongly believe that I am not the only person to be in a mess like this, the right thing needs to be done in this case.

    What can I do at 31 years old and living with my MOM and DAD to have a life for my own and support my kids.???????

  • fred

    hello i broke my leg on 26/9/11 and even though im self employed so not really intitled to any benafits and have not been given any i’ve paid my csa payments of £55 a week upto date 31/10/11 but now im starting to struggle as im very quickly running out of money and i’ve been told not to be expecting to go back to work till after christmas. anyway if i stop paying the csa payments while im off when i do start back will i have to make back payments for the weeks ive missed

  • derik

    bo yakka sha

  • JB

    I have a serious questions, I live in Louisiana and currently have my kids for 7 days the my ex has them for 7 days. I’ve heard rumors that if you split the kids time evenly that I can get out of child support, is this correct.
    Also the reason for the divorce is because she was cheating on my while I was away at work and went in front of court and admitted to adultery.

    • LAST STRAW

      Custody and Child support is two different cases as I am sure you heard all your life. Even if you share custody/ JOINT custody you still have to pay your child support. I know a guy who got Joint Custody then stopped paying child support bc he thought he didnt have to then he was hit with over 7G’s in ARREARS..

      Only way to get out of support is to get FULL CUSTODY!!

  • Christy

    My ex lives in another state and is considered self-employed. He has stopped making his support payments. Once every 6-10 weeks, I might get $65. However, he’s $7,000 in arrears. The prosecutor has requested his DL’s be suspended, but he still continues to drive on a suspended DL’s across state lines. What should I do, and how can you collect support on a self employed parent?

  • troubled

    i am unemployed. i have an overly huge child support payment due to prior employment. i had a drastically reduced income situation due to the terrorist bombing of the trade center and subsequent crash in the market. i sought relief in the court. the court said i am not entitled to an adjustment, “because i should have known better” that my income would be subject to fluctuations. i don’t carry a crystal ball, and neither does anyone else that i am aware that tells the future. after my subsequent loss in employment i sought relief due to my lack of employment. the court said not. i was paying 1800 dollars per month for one child. i was left with no money to live on. i filed for bankruptcy. the court cared less. was denied any adjustment. i have no job. no possessions and owe a lot of back child support that i will never ever be able to pay. what can i do for relief. with the automatic cola in NYS coupled with the laughable 9% interest attached to arrears my life is over. i am a slave to the state of NY. is there anything that can be done? i have tried to get a public attorney to help me. they don’t do family court. i have no money for an attorney to fight this. my life is over. is there anyone out there who can come to my aid?

  • missy

    my ex got a lawyer and she has sent me papers saying that he has over paid in child support. it has all went through the state i didn’t keep track of what he owed. i didn’t know that was my responsibility. now he wants the money back. what should i do?

  • Jo

    My boyfriend has 2 children with another women along with the son we have together. She keeps the other two children, which he payed support for over the last year or so. Then recently, about a month ago he lost his job. So he was going to put in an order for a modification, but he contacted her and told her so she told him that she would call domestics and drop the current case for child support. He even called her back and she confirmed that it was taken care of. Now all of a sudden he has a court order for missed child support payments, and she claims that she told him that she changed her mind. Is there any thing he can do to counteract the order or anything helpful to bring or prove to keep him from going to jail or even lower what he owes until he gets a job?

  • Daniel

    In Feb 2002 I was ordered to pay child support of 500.00 per month. In June 2002 my ex-wife dropped child support and moved our daughter to Florida. I paid for airline tickets to visit and sent money from time to time. When my daughter visited we always went on shopping sprees. Now six years later my ex wants child support and has filed for arrears. I’m ok with the child support, but the arrears total over 29,000.00 dollars. This has got me in a very bad financial situation. I have a new wife and now a son. This has effected my credit, my job, and my family relationship. Can she do this? I do not have the money for an attorney they have taken 1250.00 a month from both of my paychecks. I work a full and part-time job.

    • Daniel

      I meant in June 2005 she dropped child support. Never heard from the courts or her until October 2011.

  • Tami

    My ex has injured his knee and will require surgery and being out of commission for weeks. He is self-employed. Is he still required to pay child support? Thanks for your help.

  • Antonio

    I recently got my sons sole custody and an order from court for the mother to pay child support.She got fired from her job and since then I have not received any child support for my son.The mother of my son is receiving unemployment, is there any way of still getting child support?Also I am moving to another state in about 2 to 4 weeks can I establish something while Im here for her to pay child support out of state?Or how does that work?

  • Mike

    My wifes ex was ordered to pay child support he now is behind $5,000 and is taking her to court to get her to pay him child support. He has college degrees and does not work. The support amount was based on his level of education. Wife makes more than he does now. Can he do this and get away with it?? We live in Idaho…

  • Andreia

    My ex husband just lost his job and is now filling for unemployment. He told me since his going in unemployment he can’t help me at all with any of our child support, is this true? Can he just stop payments at all? I thought that was something that says that he still have to pay even if it is a small amount.

  • http://www.lisathomsonlive.com Lisat

    You still have to pay your support! If you stop you will go into arrears. The courts can impute you with an income that matches what you were earning before you ‘lost’ your job. No excuses!

  • Norah L.

    My husband has a parenting plan in order that says both parents are supposed to make any medical non-emergency decisions jointly. She decided to get braces for him when his teeth looked perfectly fine. My husband provides insurance for him but it doesn’t cover braces. She never asked my husband for his opinion about the braces.The mother of his child just went to the courthouse to get my husband for contempt for not paying half of the braces bill. It also says in the parenting plan she should mail my husband copies of all the medical bills he is supposed to pay, she never did. She likes to use the law to harass my husband. Does she have a case? Thanks.

  • Norah L.

    I forgot to mention we are in the State of MOntana, we also have text messages from her saying she tells her son bad things about my husband. can we do something about that? thank you.

  • Christopher

    My current child child support orders the non-custodian parent to pay child support in a specific amount. My question is, I have a job which basis pay on 10% commission or hourly, which ever is greater. Our maximum hourly rate is $18.50 per hour. I work 50 hours per week. My company is going through many changes and my income has dropped from $4,500. per month to $3,600.per month. I have 18% custody of my children, but, the children’s counselor thinks its time for more time with my children. I am modifying to increase my custody to 35%. I have called the D.A. and they state to modify the current order. There were errors in he first order. The the D.A. stated they would reflect the mother’s income at minimum wage, but erroneous didnt. I didnt noitice until recently. Called the D.A. office and they said to go to court and discuss it. I was out on disability for two months. Called the D.A. and once again, was told to go to court to expalin my position with the court. My questions, are will the D.A. reconsider my wages due to the declining income, and retroactivate the support to the the original order due to their mistake of the custodian parents income, and will I be given credit for the time I was on disability?

  • Nono

    My fiance had a daughter that lives in Missouri with her mother, husband and two other children from her husband. They were never married — when she was 2 years old, the mother disappeared with the child. When she was 9, she found him and is requesting child support which he he always been willing to do. The first two years when she was 9-11, he paid her cash (still has receipts) because the filing still had not gone through. Finally after the filing went through, he owes more per month and all the payments before are null and void. Is there a way they can credit him for that is the mother agrees? He got layed off and is working for a temp agency. He is making far less than he was then and the courts still want almost more than half of his check. We live in CA and the cost of living is pretty high but even with that, his rent is a very small amount and he can’t even pay that. Don’t they take that into consideration when modifying amounts? They did not modify it nearly enough to even live in provery over here. How can we possibly get his payments lowered or suspended until he gets back on his feet?

  • P.K.B

    I have a child support order in one county. I have moved to a different county,do I have to file for support in new county?

  • M

    Why do so many ‘new’ wives complain about what The fathers pay..it is not their buisness. My husband abandoned my kids and I…Since he got a lowlife mistress…he WANTS to give less to the kids and it is because of HER…she comments and intrudes on our business….btw…we are still married..she is not even his wife..If it was your kids and their father wanted to pay less, it would be different…it is between his ex and him..no one else!!

  • ANDRE

    THESE NCP (MAINLY MEN) KNOW THAT CHILD SUPPORT SERVICES DONT GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT YOU.THE MOTHERS COULD WIN THE LOTTERY AND YOU LOSE YOUR JOB AND THEY STILL WOULDN’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU UNLESS YOU HAVE LAWYER.IT FEELS LIKE MOST OF THEIR MENTALLY IS”FUCK YOU PAY UP”.THERE ARE DECENT FATHERS OUT THERE WHO ARE TRYING TO PAY BUT UNFORTUNATE THINGS HAPPEN FINANCIALLY.AT WHAT COST SHOULD IT TAKE TO PAY THE BACK SUPPORT?MY ARREARS IS $3200.THE STATES ATTORNEY ACTED AS IF IT WAS $32,000.I APPRECIATE THE JUDGE GIVING ME SOME FINANCIAL RELIEF BECAUSE I DIDN’T GET ONE LAST YEAR FROM THE STATES ATTORNEY.THE INTEREST IS $2200.ARE YOU KIDDING ME.SOON THE INTEREST WILL BE HIGHER THAN THE ARREARS.I LOST MY HOME OVER THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY IN OCT 2011 WHEN I WAS LAID OFF.MY CHILD TURNED 18 IN SEP 2011.

    • T

      Please read my post dated 4/3/12. I have known several fathers who were the custodial parents of their children and they were good parents. While the circumstances for all of us are different, I have to disagree with you in regards to the attitudes / methods of the child support enforcement agency. They were established to act in the best interest of minor children regardless of whether the custodial parent is the mother or father. My ex-husband has been in arrears for almost the entire duration of our divorce and until recently, he has never received any type of notification from CSE and even then, it was without my knowledge.
      I do not own a house, my car is 11 years old, and I work a full time job where I am underpaid. Not a glamorous life I assure you, but I do so to support my family – whatever it takes.
      My ex-husband does have a lawyer but I however, do not. Can’t afford it so I am representing myself. Not sure it’s going to matter though, the law is the law and I’ve done my research.
      My question in my post was in regards to parental responsibility. Not in relation to financial support however but in raising a child. In my personal opinion, the basic necessities afforded by monetary support are the least of my concerns.

      • Tom

        I just want to say that majority of the cases are always about money. If it’s not about money than why would you care otherwise. Be honest this is not some lifetime originial special. And for whatever reason the seperation took place the childrens best interest is never about money. But unforturnately money is still the issue. No victims it is a choice on both sides. Spitefullness seems to be the theme I deal with it and can barely survive. Plus kids are being used as weapons to hurt the other. Statistically men are on the side that gets screwed. I don’t give you any sympathy because I have never been awarded any as a father. I work hard and get screwed time and time again. I have seen fraud on both cases. And let me tell you that the mothers use the little ones for a means to make extra money. Why, because they have a tool A.K.A DCS in doing so. If it wasnt about the money than I would have my kids. Long story and dont want to take anymore space. But for the women or girls should I say that do this. FUCK YOU

  • T

    I have been divorced for 14 years and was awarded custody of our 3 children and provide the primary physical residence for them. My ex-husband has standard visitation privileges and we share “parental responsibility” (exact words of the divorce decree) for major decisions regarding the welfare of the children. Would someone please explain to me the meaning of shared parental responsibility? My ex-husband seems to have no concern whatsoever for the welfare of his children unless it concerns money. At present, he is in arrears $9,952. Although he cannot pay his court ordered child support, he recently managed to find the money to pay an attorney in order to seek relief after receiving a letter from child support enforcement threatening him with suspension of his license.
    He has requested for all intense purposes, that the courts nullify his arrears as this creates an “undue financial hardship” on him due to his unemployment of 3 years. (due to the economy of course -and no, not underemployed but unemployed and collecting unemployment benefits for 2 of the 3 years) He is not disabled, injured or uneducated and has his own transportation. No additional support was ever forthcoming during this time.
    I’m quite sure his attorney was more than happy to take his money, smile, and tell him anything he wanted to hear but the fact of the matter is, the court does not have the authority to retro-act a support order prior the the date a petition is filed unless there is some type of clerical error on the courts behalf. I wonder if he knows that support arrears is subject to interest?
    That being said, I have no interest in being drug back to court yet again for another unfounded petition. I am a honest hard working single mother whose first priority is the welfare of her children. I will not be bulldozed over by the ill intentions of those who seek to manipulate the system for their own gain, or at my kid’s expense. I was raised in an era where “real men” supported their families. While I am aware that in today’s society both parents are required to work in order to make ends meet, the norm now seems to be a total role reversal, without the benefit of a stay at home parent.
    They say it takes a village………and then some! I guess we cannot change the world around us, we can only change ourselves. Custodial and noncustodial parents alike, please take this to heart. Do not dishonor your children because of your own selfish agenda. Their security and well-being are paramount to everything else and God has appointed and blessed you as their caregivers. If the parents of a child are no longer together there is a reason, but the children did not ask to be brought into this world, and should not suffer because of it.
    Put on a happy face, keep chugging, and try not to sweat the small stuff.

  • RJenkins

    I am the Custodial Parent. The 11 year old lives with me. The Non-Custodial Parent was fired about two years ago and then applied for SSA Disability Benefits. He was awarded benefits and received a Lump Sum Payment for the 20 months that the case was pending. Our son will start receiving benefits next month and as well will receive a Lump Sum Payment. The SSA office told me that I will receive a 1099 at the end of the year and at that time show where the funds were spent for the child. I have no problem with that. My problem is the New Wife has always paid the Non Custodial bills even when he did work, and now since she learned of the child is going to recieve a lump sum payment states I owe her that money for paying her husbands child support obligations. She has been constantly texted me ever since they learned of the child getting this lump sum payment. I did go to the SSA office and they stated I have done all as I am suppose to and that No one is entitled to the childs money except the child. The Attorney General’s Office as well stated that the wife of the Non Custudial parent took it upon themselfs to pay her husband’s responsability and that the payback is really between her and her spouse no me being the Custudial Parent. State of Texas

  • Solana

    My ex husband is self employed currently, though, within 2 weeks of our divorce being final, he announces his new girlfriend is pregnant. Their plan is to have him quit working, sell his store and stay home with his new baby. What will happen to my son’s child support? Can he modify his payments to my son (me) for voluntarily quitting his job for this reason?

  • pahtah

    I am in my 60′s now and my daughter was due child support from her father back in the 1970′s and 80′s. Court order was for $250 a month. For years, he was always unemployed – so he said. I was lucky if we got $50 a month, as he claimed he was unemployed for years and no one could find him half the time. The State said $50 was OK and I did not get arrears and I had to accept the $50 while he was unemployed. I found out not too long ago that he was up in Arctic making 10 times the money I made in the 80′s and at that time the State department (Washington state) was collecting his money for child support and charging me a fee before I got his $50 a month due to his supposed unemployment. They were actually doing him a favor and expected me to supply them the information on his where-abouts and his salary, if any, yet they collected money from us mothers. They said he told them he was unemployed and I could not raise the support amount. So I never got the full amount. (Later the government said the state could not charge us a fee.) He owed us thousands even after my daughter turned 18. Years later his ex girlfriend told me he was (the majority of the time) working, but never wanted to pay – . She passed away recently. Anything I could do to date about the lies? (His working in the Arctics in the early 80′s (my child was under 18) was published in the paper in the 90′s) My daughter certainly could use the money owed her.
    Also on the divorce papers, he was always supposed to have a life insurance policy and pay a % to help with medical, which he never did. Is there a statue of limitations expiration for liers?

  • Ernie

    My wife moved away and had another kid. She wants to stay home with her, so she doesn’t have any earned money to support our child, what can I do?

  • Ernie

    My Ex had another kid with someone and wants to be a stay at home mom. She makes no income and says she can’t support our kid. What can I do?

    • devil

      She is a layzy piece of shit, stay home having babies from different men and getting free support while she sits on her fat ass, let her rot the stiking bitch.

  • Ana

    My husband pays child support for his son who lives in Boston, he just lost his job, how he can ask for a modification of his child support court order?
    In february 2010 they went to court for child support guidance, the judge ruled that my husband has to pay almost 200us per week for his only child, at that time his job changed and he was earning by bonuses not by salary, at the hearing the judge didn’t want to see any kind of paper showing the monthly expenses that we had, she didn’t wanted to speak with him or see the paychecks that he always have sent to her for years for child support or hear the difficulty that he will face with that amount, her ex a month early change her full time work to a part time work saying that she had to stay home with her son in the afternoons, but we know its not true as the kid has extra classes in his school in the afternoons, we had to move to another place to pay less rent, less for food and less for evereryting. My husband and I also asked her to let him come to live with us at least for a year, that way he will bild a bond with his father, but she said not in her lifetime…
    They got separated when my husband got cancer and she just said to him that she wasn’t going to give up his youth to carry with a sick person and left with theyr son, we simply ask her to let the kid spend time with his dad as he is 13 years old and it started to ask questions about sex and other things to his father and also has many many behavior problems in school, she did a great job with him but we think its time for him live with us, we are not asking her to pay child support if he came to live with us or asking to him live with us just not to pay child support as we will have to pay for everything for him,,,we just love him and want him to live with us,,,why everybody has to think bad of the parent who pays and that everything has to be about money!!

  • RyArt

    Hi there. My ex girlfriend and I have a child and she is now 5 years old. Agreeing to taking our daughter when she was 1 year oId with her to aquire a Bachelor’s in Nursing school from our country of origin 4 years ago so we can have a better life when she becomes a nurse. I paid for her school and their basic needs for the most part. She completed her nursing degree and came back to the United States. Our relationship went sour before she came back to the USA. Now recently she filed for
    a child support complaint. I have 2 jobs. My part time job shift is Saturday night 11 PM to 7 AM Sunday. I wanted to quit that job so I can spend time with my daughter on the weekends that she is with me. Our agreement was for me to spend time with them on weekends when they come back to the USA, but unfortunately my relationship with my ex-gf didn’t work out. What is the implication if I quit now, now that I got the child support notice last week? My fulltime job makes decent income. Please advice.

  • lynn

    men and women– dont have a child unless you can soley support it! after all the only person in the world you can count on is YOU, its just the way things are!

  • Ana

    Lynn, I think that your comment do not represent any who pays or gets paid for child support. If you read most of the comments here are from people who think that the courrent law its wrong or needs a tipe of modification. In my particular case im the wife of a very loving and caring father who suffers the consequences of that law. Do you think that its fair that the judge dont want to see our lease, our electrical bill etc to determine how much he can pay? nor see all the checks that he sent her for almost 5 years to determine that?
    Please think first and write then..

  • JR

    I am in the the process of going through css for a modification to increase my cs. The day he received his papers notifying him of the new amount proposal he called me and told me he refused that he would quit working and go to jail before he would pay me. He never went back to work and says he is unable due to back pain that has been builing up.(He just bought a motorcyle and I know he is just doing everything he can to avoid paying). I know i’m going to need a lawyer but i’m already struggling to pay the bills and take care of our three children. If he refuses to work and pay would there even be any since in taking money to pay a lawyer that i need for my children or should i fight to the finish and hope that in due time my kids receive the support they deserve?

  • SPJ

    My daughter’s father is over $12,000 behind in Child Support. He is now out on Some type of medical leave from his job and is not making his payments at all. He has not payed in 6 months. Before that, he would pay every so often. What are my options? How can I get the money he owes me? The Attorney was not satisfied with the letter my daighter’s father brought with him to court to prove he was still out on medical leave. I’m really confused about this because I have friends who kids dad’s went to jail for $500!!

  • britany

    my boyfriend is going to court soon for child support however he was unemployed so long he lost his unemployment, however right before he lost his unemployment he started going to a technical school full time to try to get his life back on track. we are currently living in a friends house who is willing to help out since he lost his house and can barely afford our share of the food bills. We’ve been told to take in his proof of enrollment, anything else we may need?

  • E

    My husband and his ex have 2 kids together (she told the court that the third kid is his & provided a forged declaration of paternaty). He is on unemployment, and provided proof to the judge that the mom violated several of the courts orders but the judge still awarded her joint custody. WE have 50/50 custody. We are paying her more then her bills are EVERY month and see the kids half of every month. Oh yeah the mom is on ssi (which Ca does not include as income). She told the judge she has short term memory loss and lives with a fellon (but does not know what his fellony is for). The state of Ca found her mentally incompetent which is why she has ssi. But a commissoner in Ca found her competent to care for kids. So basically we pay her bills, pay into the ssi she gets, and she gets to commit fraud by not reporting the child support to ssi or her section 8 housing, or cal fresh. I receive child support for my 2 kids (which this same commissioner used when setting up his court order) and have recently lost my job. Does the court care? No. He should support his kids but not to the extent that she violates every court order and her ssi is not included. If the commissener had included her ssi the payment would be $600 less. She can work. She is just one of those women that feels entitled. This state sucks!!! And for all of you mom’s out there who say that she is entitled reverse the situation. You see your kids half of the time, pay all of your exes bills while his money is his to play with. You support a fellon (drug possession and distributing) and then lose all you have worked for because YOU are now bancrupt.

  • Bob

    I used to pay close to $1200 a month child support for 1 child. The company I worked for sold and I lost my job. I took a HUGE pay-cut. This is where the government did me wrong. I filed the papers for modification and it took several months to get to court. By the time I got to court I was delinquent $7000 + and I get my payments lowered to $800 a month but having to make payments on the back support I was still paying $1000 a month. My daughter is epileptic and receives $700 a month disability. Now she’s 16 and has a part time job, making $150 a week. So my daughter, after the disability, child support and her part time job gets $2300 a month. That’s $27600 a year. That’s someone’s salary! Is any of this even legal? I since then had another child with a different person. Guess what they lowered my payments too? $745 a month plus an extra $130 for back support. So yeah I feel the government don’t help out us fathers in anyway.

  • Mike

    I had fought for my disability for 17 yrs unable to pay child support now that I have it a judge ordered me to pay 85/ month which I have been doin. I got a letter from the missouri department of social services telling me they are gonna garnish my SSI which is only 698/month takin 176/month. Can they legally do this n how am I supposed to live on 522. per month. My question is can I stop them from taking that out n how would I do it.

    thanks, Mike

    • NoName

      No you can’t stop them… legally in most states they can garnish up to 50% of a persons pay. Their is no limitation on how little you make that I am aware of.

      (Not a lawyer).

    • Janie Rushing

      How did the child you made live on $0 a month from you? Rather poorly I’d imagine.

  • Carole

    My ex decided a couple of years ago that he could not longer afford to pay the amount of child support dictated by the court order. He dropped it in half. I kept a record of his missed payments. He got a new job and we modified the agreement at that time. He recently lost his job and asked me if he could reduce his payments from 1217 to 300 a month (three kids). My lawyer said that if I agreed to this, it would hold no water unless it was under court order. I reluctantly agreed (he will not seek any legal advice because he hates lawyers). Now he wants me to sign something that says he is current with his child support because he wants to sell a property he owns. If I sign this, I am waiving my right to collect my back child support. If I sign this, am I committing fraud and aiding him to commit fraud? He is extremely angry at me now because I didn’t tell him that it needed to be done by court order. (He could have asked a lawyer but didn’t). He says he will now badmouth me to our kids telling them that I am liar and can’t be trusted.

    • hurryupandbuy

      You are a liar and a gold digger. Are you starving to death? Are your kids not taken care of? Your ex sounds a lot smarter than you. There is no reason to get lawyers involved. You two can come to a mutual agreement and keep the court and lawyers out of your lives. Everybody thinks the government getting involved is such a good thing. It isn’t. All they want is their cut of the money. In the end your children will suffer because you didn’t want their dad to do anything or have any money. The only winners will be the court and lawyers. Buu…buu…but it’s fraud. It’s only fraud if you don’t feel like he has supported his children. The state doesn’t get to decide what’s best for a family. They don’t get to decide how much someone should pay or how much time the kids get to spend with each parent unless you let them. You should be determining that with him. Stop letting some greedy proxy decide everything for you.

  • Lisa

    My husband pays 20% child support for his son. In the event that he loses his job, will he have to continue paying child support? Will it be reduced? Or is the spouse (me) responsible for child support?

    • Fed Up

      sad to say but whatever the income is now is what he is going to be expected to earn at a minimum for the rest of the years he owes support.

      If he gets a job that is less than what he pays now the courts will say he is CAPABLE of making that much therefore he will have to get a second job to supplement his income

  • AMANDA

    IVE INJURED MY BACK TRYING TO RECIEVE SSI I M NOT ABLE TO WORK I NEED HELP TO PAY I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

  • Berry

    When me and my ex went to court it was determined that I would pay half of my kids medical insurance, and now four years later I am still paying it in full (which is $379.00 a month). On top of that for the past four years I have been overpaying in child support. My job required me to travel constantly and I would get reimbursed, however that is non taxable and is not included in my wages or commission. So my wages say $11,000 (without millage) which is $211 a week. I get paid biweekly, and I pay $247 in child support because they include my millage. But since millage is considered non-taxable and it is a reimbursement for the money I put out how can I get this reduced and get some of this overpaid money back?

  • discouraged

    i have applied for disability, been denied and now have an attorney, waiting for a hearing to be scheduled. my ex-wife applied for child support, after my daughter had moved from her mothers home, to the college she is now attending. i was told that if i agreed to pay support, that dhr would not attempt to enforce it until my disabilty had been finalized. i agreed to this, and now my drivers license has been suspended for not paying on the back child support that i agreed to pay, once my disability was approved. do i have any recourse here?
    also, i raised my daughter the first 15 1/2 years of her life, without any help of any kind from her mother.

  • frank curtis

    i am currnetly out of work due to medical reasons .what steps do i need to take or what do i need to due to make sure i dont get in any trouble with the childsupport ????

  • sherry

    What about ex spouses who fake mental illness to get lower support payments……do courts not look at past behaviours of these people…..they should….Fed up with users of the system and con artists

  • Kim Maitland

    My ex has got fired from his job and tells me this is the last week i will recieve child support for awhile. I am stressed i really don’t know what to do from here. I have rent and my child support in included in my rent as income. I also get help from the state and child support is also included on how much help i get. I just need to know my next step so i don’t lose my apartment and go into debt.

    • me

      Get a Job!!!! Stop deep depending on men..and there is state assistance to help you that includes helping you finding a job and put you thru school.

  • Sc

    I am so sick and tired of people wanting child support if the state or federal knew where 90% of child support money go’s I think they would make it a lot harder to collect child support.it takes two people to make a kid a lot of women out there now days get pregnant on purpose just so they don’t need to work and collect child support and abuse the system I worked hard all my life and its sad to see people abuse the system like that.solution: I think they should make it a little harder to get child support by making the individual work at least 20hrs per week and turning in receipts to show that the money is being used properly and send an intake worker twice a month to see how the kid is doing. It’s to easy to collect child support but to end it is hard that’s unfair I also think child support should stop at age 16 if the kid is old enuf to have a workers permit there old enuf to make there own income.if all the above rules are not met then child support should end automatically some may agree some may not but I’ll voice my opinion the courts don’t give a rats if you loose your house your transportation to get to work to pay child support but yet then they still expect you to pay that’s also bull come on people put this message out there remember it takes two people to make a baby two is the key word.

    • Janie Rushing

      Here’s a solution that doesn’t require so much intervention from the government (who is going to do all that accounting you suggest and do all those home visits — the overburdened DHS system?)

      Solution: STOP GETTING WOMEN PREGNANT IF YOU DON’T INTEND TO MAKE A PERMANENT FAMILY WITH THAT WOMAN.

      A woman cannot get pregnant on purpose without your help. You have to voluntarily help her. Therefore, both mom AND dad “got pregnant on purpose.”

      And if it’s a marriage gone bad? Well you chose to make the child, and so yes…you ARE going to take care of that child financially. Who else should? Who? Mom and you. That’s who.

      Stop making kids you don’t want to support. You are going to be required to do so. And no, you’re not a victim because you have to take care of the children you go around making. They didn’t ask to be made. You chose to make them. Deal with it. Take care of your child.

      • Jim

        Janie…I agree with most of what you are saying.

        Your solution isn’t foolproof sadly.

        Women file most divorces (70%+) and are awarded custody 90% of the time in the US…even when fathers want custody.

        You can expect all connections to your children to be severed…except the financial connection…that will be maintained at gunpoint.

        Men should simply stop voluntarily impregnating women in western society period. Child support and alimony is how the western succubus rapes. Avoid being raped.

        If you are a man and want children, adopt or hire a surrogate on your own. That way they can’t be taken from you and you won’t have a corrupt agency threatening your freedom…all because it wants its cut (Title IV D)…and disguises it as being what’s best for the children.

  • Patrick

    Oh, please. Women should be made to work if the children are over a year. Women get housing, foodstamps, insurance and everything handed to them. I spent 4 years trying to get my ex wife to work she wouldn’t do it. Clean up alittle she wouldn’t do it. Actually spend time with my daughter ( she favors our son) she wouldn’t do it. She gets 650 a month and I still pay clothes and electric. I love my children and do more with them 4 days a month then she does the rest.

  • PCM

    How bout ths one ….my daughters dad got hurt at work was getting workers comp for 4 months …now after being back to work for 2 months he is trying to reduce for modification the reason being REDUCED INCOME DUE TO WORKERS COMP….he signed it feb 25 when he is working how can he use that as a reason….shouldn’t of he done that right away????but he could pay that 60$ gym membership every month when he was off…he gets her ev other weekend that’s it…doesn’t help with shit…

  • anonymous20

    you can take the leave of absense due to medical to child support enforcement and they will delay the payment most likely but do not give him cash. make sure it is a check that can be traced and i would be a bi@tch and send the money to your case manager and it would delay it to him. and also make sure you let them know you are making a principal payment.

  • Helen

    Dr Ode, Thank you! My husband stopped to fill the divorce papers and things are going much better now. As you said, I think that with time everything will be as it was before he met that evil woman. It’s good she’s out of the spot now. God Bless obolospelltemple@gmail.com for there help that makes me happy again.

  • Jenni

    Question: My daughter was dx with SLE Lupus in August 2010. She relapsed in February 2013 and we were hospital for 5 days. Can i still continue to receive child support in California for her even after she is 18? Her monthly medication alone run anywhere from $80-120 a month.

    • Derrick

      no you selfish bitch go find a job.

  • James

    I am a divorced Father of 2 girls and my ex has custody. I have had to quit my job in order to care for my elderly Mother in Law (my current wife has the ability to make more money than me and she went back to work and I have the responsibility of her Mother). My Child Support is pretty high because of the pay rate I was making at the time. I am not behind in payments but it is hard for my current wife to pay this amount of support and all of our bills as well. Can I ask for a modification because of these circumstances? by the way my ex makes over $100,000 a year.

  • Robert

    I believe men should be their for their kids . I feel for people like James because his cause is very normal . I have been so so blessed as a ex-offender my wages are normally no more than $7.50 an hour. I no longer think about dating or marriage after all men do not have housing rights if they did men would be become renters in the ghettos of America and not drug dealers.

    Men should only pay child support in my opinion when their wages exceed anywhere above $45,000 to $60,000 a year. If your working for $7.50 an hour your going to live with fags and most likely the dregs of societys lets face it rent in America is out the roof and on $800 after taxes where you going to live what women are you going to date if your live where I live I can promise you you wont have shit. Maybe if you live in a big city of where more people are at.

    I have no kids but I have none and watched a suicuide over child support I watched a man blow out his brains in while the Bay County Sheriffs Dept tried to stop it. I have more stories. Child support should be paid but if a women is getting section 8 free child care and food and has a new car while the man is struggling to support his new family its not just unconstitutional but unethical to pay child support . This is a great rule for the upper class whites not the tens of millions of men that work for garbage.

  • Red

    There are a lot of comments on here regarding men being equal or not. I am a wife of a man who for years paid over $700 for 2 children from a previous relationship. Every 2 weeks like clock work his payroll was debited. He paid insurance for his 2 children along with our 3 children in the home. We struggled and still are to this day to pay the basic necessities. My husband injured his back and has not been able to work. Then a month later I was laid off. We had to move 120 miles from where we lived to move in with my dad as we could not afford the cost of living with my husband’s one medical leave check. My husband tried for a very long time to get his child support reduced. But each time he was told there was no need for a modification. I am all for paying child support and a man taking care of his children. But at the end of the day the laws are in place for the money. And they are NOT EQUAL! It is beyond unjust for you to take every penny a person has. My husband worked , after child support, taxes and insurance he bought home $800 a month. He gets a second job to try and make up the difference. His “ex” finds out his has 2 jobs and his back in court and they want to increase his child support!!!!!!!!!! Some nerve!!! How in the world can you survive on that??? Just b/c you have obligations to pay child support doesn’t mean that your life is suppose to stop or that the children in your home must suffer. While on the other hand the “ex” gets to live her life. She doesn’t have to work or worry about how she is going to pay her bills b/c in addition to the child support, she is on section 8 so she doesn’t have to pay rent, she gets utility vouchers from DHS to pay her utilities, she gets food stamps to buy groceries. And here me and my husband are skipping dinner so our kids can eat. It is unjust. Since, my husband has exhausted his medical leave and his doctor would not clear him to go back to work his job laid him off. Now I’m the only one working and WITH NO INCOME they still wanted him to pay over $700 a month. We got an attorney who worked to get his child support case reduced to $400 a month but I am working making $9.50 an hour after taxes and insurance I’m lucky if my check is $500 every two weeks. I have had to borrow money, we’ve sold things, we’ve moved to a smaller place and had to take out loans just to pay the rent. No person should have to face eviction and NO PERSON SHOULD BE TOLD THEY CAN’T HAVE MORE KIDS!! You should be able to start a new life and still be able to pay for your kids outside the home. It’s a thing called BALANCE!! The woman can go on with her life have more kids and remarry and NOBODY TELLS HER TO STOP HAVING KIDS in fact they love that she is having kids that’s more money the system can make off those kids. Nobody tell the woman to get a JOB and stop living off tax payers dollars with 4 different fathers for your children. You never know your life could change ..it could today.. You could become injured, laid off, fired for some unknown reason, in a car wreck, some illness that’s has confined you. And the law should take into consideration this and acknowledge the good fathers out there. My husband is a good man who has always paid his child support , gotten his kids regularly and even buys them things additionally when needed. HE has been treated like a dog!! And then suspended his licenses. Is that going to MAGICALLY make some money come out of thin air. Please believe the real deadbeats don’t care if you suspend their license they will drive anyway. They don’t care if you incarcerate them .. they will do their 30, 60, 90 days and be on their way…But my husband someone who has health problems and goes to the doctor frequently and someone that the court is always subpoena regularly needs a license to drive. All I’m saying is that there should be a balance. If a man should be required to work and pay child support a woman should be required to do the same. If a man is required to insure the child medically a woman should have a job so that incase anything happens to the father she can add the child to her insurance. If a man is required to help pay for child care and woman should be required to do so and not have DHS/ Families First pay her part b/c she doesn’t work!!! The law is NOT fair!!

    • Amazed-Confused

      I feel for you, I am a man currently paying 1800 in child support each month, yet my kids go without basic needs. My kids don’t have school clothes, and my new wife is giving my 16 year old her old bras because she doesn’t have any that fit.

      My X and her new husband together make over 70k a year, yet they are still on government assistance (I think fraudulently). And if you add in the money I pay for child support their household income approaches the equivalent of a 100k a year house. How on earth does she qualify for any assistance… and why do my kids not even get the basic clothing needs met… how do they struggle so much from day to day saying they can’t even afford a house/rent?

      I just don’t get it…

      • Janie Rushing

        If your kids are not having their basic needs met, what are you waiting on? File for a modification of custody.

      • Glenn Carnley

        ,I m with you, i,hear you. After the 18,000 I paid in cs for my son I know have to go buy school supplies clothing, they no longer have a place to live an she works everyday, 3 hr round trip to get my son mozt times its a wasted trip. I can never have any thing.

    • cotipo28

      your husband made that choice so let him deal with it.you have to worry about your kids and not the other lady. do u know what your hubby made that lady go through? i beg u.stop it. for nobody cares whether he is sick or not. u make babys u got to take care of them

      • ct

        Thats easy to say but when he goes to jail for non payment guess who has to take the burden of that? Its easier for a wife to HELP deal with a greedy ex. From the sounds of things he HAS been taking care of things. Why is it when a woman gets “sick” or fired the man cants have her locked up for not taking care of HR responsibilities but if its on the other foot she can have him locked up? It IS a double standard. Takes 2 to make the babies so woman need to stop expecting all their care to fall on the men

    • me

      Laws are for the woman…my husband pays 2000 a month for two kids and being brought back for more because she decide to enroll them in a 12,000 private school 24,000 total a year. She did it on purpose to break him because she makes 110,000 a year with a paid off mertgage plus she alienated the children from him. Tried contempt but the master did not care!!! State of Maryland master my butt when you don’t care about the fathers rights!!! There is a federal law that you can only take up to 50% of wage garnishment so you may want to look that up….good luck no one gives a shit about fathers rights!!!

    • Janie Rushing

      Here’s where you fly off the hinges: No person should be told they can’t have more kids.

      No, ma’am. No.

      You do not get to just through life having all the babies you want without consequences.

      YOU chose to marry a man who already had children. Those children come first. They were here first. They deserve to be supported before you decide to start making babies with him.

      If you marry a man who already has kids, you have to accept that as REALITY. They were there first. If you cannot accept that…and the deep financial constraints that puts on him…you don’t settle down and start making babies with him.

      Those kids rights to be taken care of supersede his right to move on…and your right to marry the man of your dreams and have his babies.

      Welcome to the real world.

      You complain about his ex living off the government. Unless she is committing fraud, she can do that. She’s not doing anything wrong legally, and in fact — it’s not any of your business. As long as his kids have a roof over their heads, clothes on their back and food in their tummies…she is doing what she is supposed to do.

      Guess what? You can do that too. You can apply for government services too. If you don’t want to, ok. But it’s none of your business – literally NONE – if she does.

      If you don’t qualify, ok. That’s also not the custodial parent’s issue.

      I’m not sure why you think this situation is supposed to be fair to you. Clearly, marrying a man with a child support obligation is a very bad idea if you wanted to be treated equally.

      You didn’t come first. You will not be treated equally.

      You should have understood that before you married. If you didn’t then, shame on you. You darn well should by now.

      I understand you’re distressed, but you married a man who has made a lot of babies and cannot take care of nary a one.

      Now it falls all on you. And who do you have to blame for that? Don’t look at mom. Look right at your husband and yourself. You two – and nobody but you two – created the family you have now.

    • Sickofit

      I’ve been in the same boat as your husband,I still am…Sometimes I feel checking out of this world is going to be the only way I will ever have any peace and I am sure he has felt the same way

  • jess

    My fiance and I have a six month old. A mother of a child he had before our relationship is asking for child support. We do not mind paying but I am full time right now and he stays at home while I work. The courts are asking for more than what was ordered for his first child for this one and is saying they dont care if he has to watch his son, he still has to work full time. Well the guy representing the woman is saying that. He still has not been able to see a judge. The horrible part is that I will have to pay anything that exceeds what he makes. Is this okay? Or is there something that can protect him.

    • Janie Rushing

      No, you do not have to pay anything at all toward child support. Literally nothing. That is entirely on him.

      You can choose to let him man up and start taking responsibility for all the babies he’s making.

      Stop having kids with dads who cannot take care of the ones he has already made…or you better be able to take care of that child all on your own.

      He has multiple children with multiple women. Yes, he needs a job. This really shouldn’t come as news to you.

      • j

        Lmao I take care of all my kids on my own. And fyi. When you have to pay for daycare and itis more,an hour than you make, one parent has to stay at home. Ignorant response. I was simply looking for an educated answer. Not some opinion of some vindictive mother that is butt hurt she got screwed over and cant stand men. Get over yourself lady.

        • Janie Rushing

          Look at your response. Who is the pissy one? You’re the one with the anger here, lady. You are with a man who put you in this position, so your anger is misdirected at me.

          How am I vindictive? Because I tell you the truth?

          You wanted facts? Because I told you the facts. No, I think you wanted to hear what you wanted to hear.

          Sorry. Your fiance owes that child support. One way or another, it will need to be paid. If he has to watch the baby during the day, then work when you come home…catch a few ZZZZs in between…so be it. That’s the bed he made. You helped him make it.

          Don’t have kids with dads who cannot, or will not, pay for the children they already made. Or else, you get a bad deal.

          What’s hard to understand about that? That’s reality. If you don’t like reality, that’s your issue, not mine.

          By the way, I’ve been a stepmom twice. I am one now. I am telling you from experience you’re living in a delusional world.

          Your fiance’s child, for whom he owes support, doesn’t need to eat less, have a roof over his head less often, etc. because your fiance decided to have another baby with another woman and be a stay-at-home dad.

  • joe m

    I pay child support to my ex-wife but have been unable to pay for a month now because I am not working but I am also my mother’s primary caretaker right now because she can not get around on her own…What can be done for a certain amount of time until I go back to work?

    • Janie Rushing

      The court doesn’t care that you want to take care of your mother. Your FIRST priority is to take care of your child, not your mom. That’s just the legal reality.

      If you choose not to work, arrears will accrue. You do NOT want to get into the cycle of arrears.

      If your situation is short term, a modification will not likely be approved. If it’s long-term, you can try for a modification to get support lowered…but if the court thinks you are electing not to work, they will probably not approve it. They will impute you an income that you’re capable of making, and you will be expected to make those payments.

  • Don Reitmeyer

    I am a totally disabled Marine veteran who divorced my wife, who i married because she was pregnant, due to domestic violence. I had cared for our Son, 8 years old and daughter, 9 years old, everyday since they were born and my only income is veterans disability and S.S. disability. I am left with just $665 a month to live on after paying my spouse $661 a month (garnished from my S.S. Deposit). My spouse quit her job 3 days before the masters hearing for custody. The master never took into consideration the PFA violations my spouse was allowed to get away with due to PA State Police refusal to enforce the order and who assisted her in stealing personal and marital property she took to her employers warehouse and was reported as possible breaking and entering.. She declared bankruptcy and creditors are now after me for the amount owed. I require low back surgery due to my spouse jumping onto my failed low back and breaking teeth which i can’t afford to have fixed. I often go without food and am behind on my bills. I am very likely to lose custody due to my inability to feed and house my children. My civil rights have been trampled yet no lawyer will take the case to court without money to pay the fee’s. Father’s have no rights. It appears the gender bias is everywhere from the police and judge to domestic relations. My spouse took the entire 2012 tax return after i was said to be in arrears when i made just one payment of nearly $1,000 and received a letter from S.S. that my disability payment was being garnished. Apparently SS didn’t take the money out when they were supposed to? My spouse told the court she was seeking employment a year ago, yet she doesn’t look for work and lives on welfare. If anyone has suggestions how i could get some justice I would be most appreciative. My health is declining and despite being a good father I see my children only 6 days total each month. The court does nothing about her repeatedly violating the custody order. Apparently i am to be left to die indigent because I filed for divorce. i was tired of being abused which is documented in my medical record. reitme@verizon.net

    • Janie Rushing

      Why are they taking half your check? You must owe arrears then? It can come back to bite you when get behind on child support.

      You do need an attorney. I don’t know your area but there is legal aid services in most areas. Especially if you’re an abuse victim living in poverty, you’re likely to be approved for those services. You’ll also need their services to file your own bankruptcy if you don’t want to deal with the creditors anymore. But if your only income is disability, you are judgement proof anyway.

      In the meantime, document the time and date and details of every violation your ex has committed on the custody order. You’ll be glad you did.

      By the way, your financial hardship CANNOT be used against you in regards to custody of your children.

  • Ryan Nichols

    I went to prison on for 23 months in Iowa. I had never been behind on my child support. I put in a request to change my child support order the same day that I turned myself in. Although I wrote letters twice a month and included a copy of my time computation sheet (which shows my arrival date into custody and the earliest possible release date from custody, was 23 months) and all of my earnings as an inmate, which was about $12.00/Mo. They did not lower my child support for the first 21 months that I was incarcerated. I was released at my earliest out date and had accumulated a little over $10,000 in back child support. When I spoke to the child support recovery unit they said that as long as I was paying on my back child support they would not be able to change anything from the most recent update (which was $10/mo and $2/mo for back child support) for the first 2 years that I was released. I have been out of prison for a little over six months now and have my back child support paid down to $5,160 and got a letter in the mail today saying that they would be garnishing my wages in “one lump sum” for the remanding balance. Is there anything I can do about this? I have no problem helping financially to take care of my daughters, it is part of my responsibility as a father. I don’t think it is right that because it took them almost 2 years to change the order that I will have to give up one entire month of my income! Is there anything I can do about this?

    • Janie Rushing

      You mention writing letters and “requesting” a change in your child support order. But did you actually file for a modification of child support with the court? There would have been a hearing if you had. At that time, the support order could be brought down. If you didn’t do that, you do in fact owe arrears and nothing wrong was done to you.

      You should consult a lawyer about a lump sum payment of arrears. Generally, there is a limit (about half) on how much they can take out of your paycheck at once but there may be exceptions.

      Good for you for paying down your arrears quickly. That was the right thing to do. Good luck.

      • Ryan Nichols

        Yes, as I stated before, I filed the request to change the support order the day I got to prison,July of 2011. After all the paper work, and filing 2 appeals because my request was denied twice because the child support recovery unit “could not prove that my ‘situation’ has lasted or will last a period of 90 days or longer” so after all that they finally agreed that I was unable to fulfil the obligation of my order and lowered my order in April of 2013. Why would they take so long to chznge the order? Is that legal?

  • Billie

    My ex husband was in a car accident and going to be out of work for 3-6 months, and doesn’t have the money to pay the child support now? What do I need to do? Also this is his year to claim him for the tax year.

    • Janie Rushing

      Your ex-husband will need to file a modification to get child support lowered to reflect his new circumstances. You don’t need to do anything…but keep in mind, you cannot get blood from a stone.

      When your ex-husband gets his tax refund, you can file to have it diverted to you if he is in arrears at that time.

  • Josh12477

    I have to agree with a lot that’s being said here. The states all favor the bitch and screw the workhorse. My ex gf of 3 years cheated on me multiple times, I left her ass after she told me she had cheated fer the 3rd time and was pregnant but not sure it was mine. This child is now 10. I moved to OK before she was born, start a new life. I get a court order to appear fer a DNA Paternity test. I comply. Paternity is established. After paternity is established, the court orders me to pay arrearages that date back to when she got pregnant, something like $2530. Ive paid my support every month thru payroll deduction. Even had my taxes offset, numerous times. Child Support does need to be held more accountable fer their actions, along with the bitch receiving the support I pay. The state that takes my taxes fails to report it to the state I live in, thus has resulted in a continual difference between the 2 states. Furthermore, on a situation like this, the court that orders the support should have just as much power in the other state to enforce visitation, child welfare, and such. There have been numerous violations on my exes part. Failure to keep a working phone line, moving without notifying me as to where, loss of a home that she paid cash fer, continually allowing our daughter to be around an indivisual that she claims molested her as a child, unemployed thus far only getting a job around Christmas so she can get a big refund, which very well may be fraud, failure to report any and all income to the court so support can be adjusted if needed, numerous boyfriends and violent ones at that. I have a police report that shows I beat the living hell out of one after he sucker punched me while I was holding my daughter. Ive showed all this shit to the court where I reside, all they can do is tell me to take it to the other state. Its pretty sad that a court that orders support, and visitation cant do a damn thing to benefit this child because she’s in another state. Anyways, I started off $2530 in the hole. My support + arrearages have always come out of my pay, each week with the exception of me being off fer a year due to being injured in an auto accident. My settlement was offset fer that year thus resulting in me not being able to have the surgery I need on my left shoulder. As I have stated, the other state has failed to report interception of my taxes. The state where I reside has given up on the other state when it comes to trying to get an accurate figure. Im having to prove all this thru IRS paperwork. By court order, Im supposed to pay $239/mo. This order has stood since inception into the court in 2004, thus resulting in $31,210 including beginning arrearage. Ive paid $239/mo every single month since + my arrears. Ya add that all up and Im current with no arrears. Now ya add in every offset the other state has taken, taxes in the amount of $1184, $2304, $1900, $1014, $3100. Then the offset of my settlement in the amount of $3417, which included arrearages assessed. Lets do the math here all this plus current support = $44,129.. The other state now owes me $12,919. That’s money that I will never get back. Child support in some state is mere legalized racketeering.

    • Janie Rushing

      It’s hard to take someone seriously when they begin their case by calling the custodial parent “the bitch.”

      Keep in mind — you chose to impregnate this woman. YOU. You were not raped. You had sex with a woman, and you therefore assumed the risk you may get her pregnant. You were ok with that at the time. You chose her as the mother of your child. Own that.

      You need a lawyer to sort out the mess between the states. Until you do that, you won’t get it fixed.

      • Neil

        I call a duck a duck if it quacks. What do you call it?

      • Lacey Michelle

        being a woman, Choices to have sex should not be punished in the eyes of society. We are not hores. Why should a man pay for support when “the bitch” is sitting her puppies on a silver platter. The law should consider a father’s relationship over the cash for the kiddos hand. Cuz the relationship bonds. Not the dollar.

  • pissed

    My question is.. my husband has been paying child support to his son for 14 years who lives in Flordia since the mother got pregnant. He has always paid through Tn or Va and after catching his back pay up in tn since he was unemployed at the time and i was eventually making payments for him. The end of May he pays the back pay off from tn. Now Florida has brought $5,000 he owes up out of the blue saying tn wasn’t charging him enough to pay back pay and regular payments even though the amount he paid was court ordered by a judge!They have now taken our taxes as an offset! After holding for 50mins to get a hold of them the lady said we didnt owe near that but seen delinquent payments due to us not paying because of the 5,000 we didnt owe! We called again so we could get the proof we needed to fax to them and now she says we do owe the 5,000 and I told her she just told me the other day otherwise and she says she doesn’t remember talking to be directly. She will not even let him talk to his son on the phone but hands the phone to her husband he has seen him 2 times and he is 14. Tn and Va both say its a $0 balance and a closed case! Is it possible to go back to 2010 when he was unemployed to get modified? I really do not understand how they can go over the judge and argue with that! Why did they not bring it up before now? Plus she has moved and changed her name to her married name even though she had been married for 6 years! No one will help us in Va we cannot afford a trip to Florida and its out of our jurisdiction but apparently not theirs to say what we owe when they are suppose to contact the state he has always paid child support in or at least I thought that was the law. Not to mention her constantly harrassing us with fake profiles!

  • babygirl

    my husband lost his job and wasnt able to pay child support for 4 months but just recently got a new job,he started paying child support again,his ex wife was mad about the 4 months without pay, could she take him to court even though he started paying again?? and also the payments go right to her and not threw the courts,

  • Tainia Lami

    I’ve known Johnson for years, When we finally got together things were kind of weird so we broke up which was in February of 2011 In June of 2012 he and I recently got back together and we were together until march of 2013 which he told me he was not interested in relationship again During that time I changed completely, I wasn’t eating,I was sleeping a lot, I wasn’t talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I’m so depressed and stressed out that I’m scared I’m going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever Google recommend me spirituallove@hotmail.com that he will solve my relationship problem then Dr Osaze told me he will come back to me between 48hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my fiance called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happy together forever , Am so happy now that DR Osaze, help me bring Johnson back to me. Thanks so much( Dr Osaze) his email:spirituallove@hotmail.com

  • Martin

    Has anybody ever been denied the opportunity to go to college by a judge because of being unemployed? I’m worried that when my Modification of Support order here in Nevada is heard, I will be denied and forced to work at taco bell instead.

  • Money

    Its sad how everyone is saying the system is for the woman. No, its fot the custodial parent. Woe to the women who have every excuse for their new husband and how he is injured, he cant pay, he lost his job, u the only one working. Have u ever tried working it out with his ex? Have u been willing to contribute to ur step child. Hell no because no u say its not ur responsibility. Just like it is his responsibility to take care of. his child. You claiming how you have to skip dinner to pay child support and worry about what the bm doing with the money but what his ur man doing with his money? A real woman would encourage her man to take care of his child. I know what the problem is, the problem is that its lowering ur household income. Pick a sock in it. I bet u bitch at ur man every chance u get over child support when u need to support him and do ur job, continue to pay them bills, and be there for. Im sure u was aware of his obligation before u married him. Woe to u women who is using the child for a pawn, let the father do.his part and be a mfather. U women need to close ur legs and wait for marriage. U men need to stop laying seeds in these women

  • Candy Hunter

    My ex-husband was diagnosed with MS last year. The medication cost him $500 a month after the insurance pays their part. He pays child support to me and another woman. Between the two they take half his pay after being diagnosed he has had trouble paying his bills and is now being evicted from his house. Is there anyway he can get the amount reduced because of his illness? If so what would he need to do?

  • crook

    All these comments make sense….but in reality you really paying for Medicaid ….on the
    Other hand some women are greedy cause all they wanna do is lay on there back and collect….now some men don’t do nothing for there kids at all those the ones who deserve that high payments of child support or jail time…but what’s even more messed up is that if you miss a couple of payments and they suspend your license which I don’t think that’s fair

  • Lee

    My ex has been “unemployed” since October 2013. I know that she has been working for her parents and getting paid under the table. Is there any way to subpoena her bank deposit records to adjust child support?

  • scott ash

    I have 2 kids with my ex . one of my children from 1st marriage now lives with me the other with her. I fell behind 1020.00 in child support while waiting for my modification date and I lost my income.i sold some personal belongings to come up with half of my arrears but my ex and the unit are trying to get me charged with a violation . I go to court Tuesday the day after memorial day and have the money to pay the 1/2 when I get to court house..will this stop any possiable violations if I pay 1/2 then? and with the loss of income and my 18 year old now living with me will that lower the order? my son lives with his mom and is 16 I have the 18 year old

  • MyChoiceHisMoney

    I pay 834 for one child… when u add that up that’s close to a 250k in none taxable cash… and about another 200k will be given to the mother in tax benefits that’s she’s not paying…

  • MyChoiceHisMoney

    Women make 77cents on the dollar of men….Did anybody add in Child Support and Alimony?

  • John Burgess

    To Janie Rushing and all the people on here providing simple-minded advice about not having babies in the first place: I’m sure most people in this situation of dealing with child support issues didn’t plan for this to happen when they decided to have a baby with their ex. Granted some did it out of wedlock, but what do you have to say for those who did the right thing and got married; looking for the house with the picket fence and 2.5 kids with a dog?

    Too bad they were not as clairvoyant as you guys to say to their spouses, “I love you, but I will not have a child with you because in a couple of years we will get a divorce and I will end up owing you child support.”

    I pay $2250 a month in child support for two kids from a previous marriage. You can’t imagine the stress this has brought on me along with my apprehension of wanting to get into a relationship with anyone else. Every woman I date is talking about having kids and I’m finding it very hard to take anyone seriously because of that. Many of my friends are in the same boat of not wanting to settle down because of the horror stories they’ve heard from others regarding the aftermath of marriage.

    Then people like you complain about the marriage rates in this country…ugh

  • MarryJ

    All had to do was have a baby by my ex and now I’m good for 21 years! When he’s on support I live off him. I don’t have to worry about working! If he gets fired its ok because I can get welfare. Get wise ladies in this country your child is your meal ticket. Its crazy but hey you have to eat too and its a dog eat dog world!!! Thanks to the system we benefit you have to ride it till it breaks!!

  • melg

    The father of my child quit his job, moved out of his rent controlled apartment and moved out of the country, all to avoid child support. In November of 2013 the courts imputed a monthly child support amount of $1102. He now has hired a lawyer and has filed a motion to modify the amount, (and I am quite sure is trying to get the amount down to zero.) He fled to Peru April 3, 2013, his family forced him to return July 1st to take the paternity test, finally did by September 17, 2014 and flew back to Peru October 1st. The motion claims he was not notified in enough time to attend court, (which is a lie that I cannot prove,) therefore unable to defend himself. All in all, he is filing for Request for order re modification of child support, Request for Hearing re Set Aside of Support order, MPA in Support thereof and Respondent’s Income and Expense Declaration. He is claiming his income is $0 per month , with expenses of $145 a month and that he cannot make the same amount in Lima, Peru as the court has imputed he is making here in the Bay Area, California. Again, he chose to quit his job here and chose to move to Peru where he has lived since April 2013 and is still unemployed. My question is, if he has a good lawyer, will he be able to get out of paying all together? What about back pay, he owes over $10K in back pay? My biggest concern is that he will get away with paying me nothing until he gets a job, but if he is in Peru he will not have to report that he has a job and there is not wage garnishing there.

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