Does your marriage stand a good chance of surviving the test of time? The truth is, there are many factors that will affect your odds and by learning to recognize these pivotal points, you can help your marriage overcome the bumps along the way.
One of the most influential of these factors is the personalities of the individuals in question. Love-hate relationships are dubbed so for a reason and couples that have a bipolar type of relationship are much more likely to find themselves in divorce court than those that are more evenly tempered. This kind of relationship is often volatile and can quickly turn into a competitive “I’ll show you” type of union. And while the “highs” of a love-hate relationship can be dreamy, the lows are often enough to destroy any chance of long-term survival.
Another important factor is age. While a young couple is not guaranteed to end up in divorce court, the maturity level of the individuals has a great deal to do with the marriage’s chance of success. The first few years of marriage can be considerably difficult as couples learn to adjust to living with someone else on a day to day basis. These small idiosyncrasies are hard enough on their own but add the element of immaturity to the equation and the rate of divorce begins to rise.
Personalities and maturity levels aside, money is one of the biggest reasons marriages end in divorce. This crucial issue includes a general lack of money, different spending habits of the couple and everything in between. In fact, couples argue about money more than anything else and even a steady income of $50,000 to $60,000 can be the difference between seeing the golden years and calling it quits.
Other factors that can help a marriage survive? If the couple owns a home instead of renting, the permanance of the mortgage can often help them get through the less-than-happy times. Also, couples that have children early on in the relationship seem to struggle more, perhaps because they didn’t get the chance to adjust to being married before adding the additional stress of being parents.
And finally, your ability to adapt to change can greatly affect your marriage’s chance of survival. It doesn’t matter who you are or what kind of background you came from – the fact is that people change, and that includes you and your spouse. Barring instances of infidelity andabuse, irreconcilable differences is the most common complaint when a marriage ends in divorce. These differences are often nothing more than the parties growing in different directions and learning to adapt and adjust to this personal growth can help you keep your marriage in tact.
Of course, none of these factors alone will guarantee that a marriage will end in divorce and there are other issues that can affect the union as well. However, by recognizing the warning signs, you can better prepare yourself to deal with some of the rocky days that may lie ahead.
For more ideas to keep your marriage strong, read this book on making marriage work. In addition, you may also enjoy this book on controlled separation and this book on using separation to explore your relationship .