Who Gets Custody? 77

Why Aren’t You Guaranteed Custody of Your Children?

Custody of the children has always been a sensitive and emotional area when facing a divorce. Ultimately, the courts want to provide the best environment possible for the child, but it’s not always an easy task to determine what that environment should be. In the past, our legal system had a tendency to favor the mother and award minimum visitation to the dads, believing that mothers had a natural ability to create a more loving and stable environment. But those days are changing.

Today, courts prefer to keep both parents active in the child’s life and will lean toward a joint custody arrangement as often as possible. Even in cases where the mother is deemed to be the primary caregiver, the father can still receive liberal visitation rights and also continue to participate in the decision making process through joint legal custody.

Because the courts no longer rely on the old gender stereotype, a number of more appropriate factors are taken into consideration when awarding custody.

First and foremost, the court looks at who’s asking for custody and if the parent’s have already worked out an agreeable and feasible arrangement. For more information on making these arrangements, check out this book on builiding a parenting agreement that works.

The judge will then consider the financial stability of both parents, as well as their mental and physical ability to care for the child. Work schedules, lifestyles and place of residence also come into play as does the amount of disruption a particular arrangement might cause the child.

If the parents live far away for example, it may not be feasible to award a joint custody arrangement where the child moves between houses on a monthly basis. Likewise, a parent who works seven days a week and is rarely home may not be able to provide the best living situation for long periods of time.

Likewise, a parent who travels frequently, works long hours or demonstrates little patience and/or a short temper will be less appealing to the courts than the parent with a flexible schedule that allows plenty of time to devote to the kids.

All of these factors will play a part in the court’s decision-making process and in the end, the custody arrangement awarded will be designed to provide a stable and secure environment for the child with as little disruption as possible.

Look into this book about your right to child custody and search for a child custody expert in our Yellow Pages for additional information.


  • chastity

    I let my boys go with their father 5 days ago and now he wont return them. I have a paper that states he is the non custodial parent and he is court ordered to pay me child support. I have called the police and they say there is nothing they can do. What can I do?

    • You should file a motion in family court on an emergency basis right away. Unless father is following a court ordered visitation schedule, you should be able to obtain an order that he return the children to you. Once you have this order, the police will be able to enforce it.

  • Charlie

    So today my parents went to court and the court decided that I live with my mother. I was thinking that since my mother has a history of beating and slapping me personally in the face why would they do that. My father has never hit me before and still they don’t put me with him

    • Jennifer

      Does she still hit or slap you ? If she does then you have to call the police on her. If she doesn’t, then maybe she has changed and you may should try to learn to live with her since the court ordered it. When you are 14 you may get to choose who you live with. Or you could tell the court who and why you want to live with.

  • Betty

    I have a 2yr old daughter and I dont mind her being with her father I just want to make sure it stays at weekends only & I am the sole custodian. How can I make sure this happens? Ive had a restraining order against my ex before. Would that help at all?

  • Ashely

    so my step dad just left us three days ago, after pushing my mother on the ground and after hitting her sense 8 years now, and abusing our whole family. he is threatening my mom that he’s going to take my little sister that’s 6. knowing he left my mom when she doesn’t have a job, and a house and 4 kids to support..who would get my little sister thats 6 which is her real dad.

  • Needing her family

    Both my brother and his ex have been arrested but they lived together for about two years. The girlfriend already had a child from her previous relationship but had a child with my brother. At the time of the arrests parents were separated and my brother was living with me and the ex with her aunt. Every other week my brother would get the baby but that week the baby was with the ex at her aunts. The aunt won’t allow my mother to see the kids. We want custody but are unsure if we can get it and we do not want to split up the children. Before this though no one on the ex girlfriends side of the family did anything for her. They weren’t even there when the baby was born and she actually told doctors my mother was her mother. Her aunt even spells the children’s names wrong and had never seen them until the couple split which was about a month ago. The aunt gave the children to a sister of hers that has never even seen the children either. This lady argued with my mother and kept telling her that they wouldn’t stop crying. My mother on the other hand has been there every moment of their lives. The girls first child even calls her grandma even though she isn’t her blood grandma but he loves her and he sees me as his aunt and we love him, as for my brother he called him daddy. The fact that hes not my brothers son doesn’t matter because we care about him. The baby even learned to walk in my home and rarely ever cried. The mother of my nephews had previously written a note stating my mother had custody but it was never notarized. I would also like to mention that whenever they struggled the first and only person they would call was my mother even after the couple split. Basically I would like to know if my mother could get custody of both children even though the eldest isn’t blood related but he’s still a part of family. We love both dearly and are upset by the fact that we can not see either.

  • Melinda

    My husband and I have seperated and haven’t gone to court yet. We have to small children who live with me and my parents. Since I was a stay home mom for 3 years is hard for me to get a job right now. The visitation I have set for us is he can have them 3pm-6pm every Sunday. He called me up saying that he is coming to get tomorrow and there is nothing I can do about it or if I don’t let him have them he won’t give me child support. Do I have to let him have them for the weekend when that’s not what I’ve planned? He wouldn’t let me know when or how long he could have them so I made that plan by when he had the time to come. That way the kids have some consistancy

    • Kathryn Flamme

      Sorry but he has as much right as you do. He is the father and can see and take his child when ever just as you can do so. Having the father see the kids only on sunday is very harsh! You have no right to make the schedule. How would you feel if he did that to you? You need to settle it in mediation. Just because you have something against the ex does not mean the kids should suffer. They need both parents equally in their life.

      • Sad Dad

        My soon to be exwife is pulling this crap of thinking she can create the schedule and deny me visitation whenever she deems appropriate to aid her schedule. My daughter is 23 months old and she has (while we were still married) kept her from me for 387 days. Her alienation has risen to an all time high. Recently she came over to my house, assaulted me, and was subsequently arrested for domestic battery. While there is a ton more to the story, my point is simple……DO NOT use your children as and avenue or vehicle to exact revenge on your ex. Children are the ones that are most hurt in these situations. Given the fact that both parents are normal (not crazy), children deserve both parents equally. Just because you are the mother, does not make you the judge and jury. For god sake, think of the children before you alienate them from the other spouse. This message applies to both men and women. 🙂

  • Taylor

    My parents have been discussing the issue of divorce lately and as long as i can remember my father has been mentally and verbally abusive to me, my mother, and three brothers. we have recordings of him and his screaming tantrams…would a judge give him full custody even if my mom doesn’t work and has always been the primary caretaker and after he/she has heard what horrible things he has said to everyone?

  • angel

    if an unmarried couple in N.Y. State not living together fighting for custody andthe mother has been diagnosed with mental problems and acting in a manner that is not in the best interest of the child, percentage wise what are the fathers chances of obtaining full custody

  • Cory

    My brother-in-law had a baby about 6 months ago, he and the mother aren’t married, but they are living together. In the 6 months that they’ve had the baby, they’ve constatly dropped him off at either my mother-in-law’s the grandmother, or my apartment for weekends or any other reason you can think of. This baby is always hungry when we get him, his parents (when they have him) stay up late at night, and kart this baby everywhere, they just lay him down and let him cry himself to sleep. Now my question is, my wife, my mother-in-law, and I all feel that they are unfit parents, and I would like to know what kind of chance would we have to take custody of the baby?

  • Analina

    When and/or can I choose who gets custody of me? I live with my mom currently but i don’t like her she disentangle abuse me or anything it’s just I don’t like her she’s always been my least favorite parent and I want to live with my dad so when do I get to choose who gets custody of me? Please answer soon!

    • Kimberly

      When your old enough to make the decision yourself just have your dad take it to court.

  • Mrs. Kershaw

    My daughter has 4 children. The oldest one has a different dad than the other 3. The second chid born to my daughter is the first born to the second dad. The dad and his family treat the other 3 children differently from him. If the dad wanted custody of only the second child is he able to do that? Or if something happens to both of the parents would I the bilogical grandmother of All the grandchildren get custody?

  • Erin

    My question is this: my brother in law and his girlfriend had a baby about a month ago. The thing is he isnt allowed to see his son, unless its on his girlfriend’s parents plans or way.

    They both dont have jobs but his girlfriend lives at home with her parents who drink and she sleeps most of the time and her parents call the baby theirs,and she has to go back to school. My brother in law doesnt have a job but lives on his own. He wants to file for full custody. Would the judge be more willing to let him have the baby 100%. We live in the state of VA. Please let me know what he could do to make the judge favor his side more.

    Worried sister in law and aunt.

  • Izabella

    I have a 3month old baby boy. His father and I recently seperated but was never married. I live in FL and he lives in NJ. Our son lives with me. His father and I don’t get along so well. I’m a full time student, has one job and I’m in the reserves. His father does nothing and has a criminal record. I’ve provided for my son since day one and his father has yet to put in no effort. Do I need to file for full custody because I have a fear of him trying to come to take the baby one day. Or how should I go about this?

    • Kimberly

      If you can just sign up for families first. But with the words in the text above you have nothing to worry about but he could take the child and not return her and there be nothing you can do about it so yes file for full custody.

  • Seth Rogan

    My girlfriend and I live together but she want to leave me with our 3 month old baby. We were together for about 2 years. She has is an ex convict and has a short temper. When she gets really mad she starts thrashing and cussing. I feel that she will be an unfit mother for our child. If i fight for full custody will I get it. Also she does not work , never had a job and dont want to look for a job.

  • randy

    im the father. if i have the only job (military) and everything is in my name and the wife deosnt have a job. how would u think a custody situation would work out in those facters.and i would like a joint custody but if that doesnt work with the wife what would i need to do to still have joint custoday. and if it is joint custody then does anyone have to pay child support? does me being in the military hurt my chances on a custody situation?

  • gthacker

    My 16 year old hasn’t lived with his mother in over a year. He has been staying with me And my mom. He has refused to go she her and when she moved didn’t take him with her to new place.

  • cindy

    my grand child was removed from her mother for drug s, who stands a better chance of getting coustudy grandmother or aunt

  • Maggy

    my situation is this, i have a 3 yr old with my ex and we were NOT married, and we lived in NJ, we broke up and then in September we filed for custody arrangement, and we have Joint legal custody and he has temporary residential custody because in Sept. i moved to NC and the deal was that i would bring my son with me 2 months later, in Nov. so in November my son moved with me to NC and his father stayed in NJ. i couldnt make the hearing date to switch his physical custody to me instead of his father but the prob officer knows he is with me. now his father is expecting him to spend summers with him, but we have not arranged for any of this through court yet… he recently moved in with his new girlfriend and expects me to let my son stay with him and his girlfriend. well i told him i wasnt comfortable with that because i dont know this woman and so i would rather my son stayed with my mother about 20 miles away and he can visit him that way because he doesnt even have any childcare arrangements for him while he is there, so i know that atleast with my mother he will be taken care of and will be with my whole family. well his GIRLFRIEND called me using profanity and being “trashy” and began sending me pretty much harrasing text messages. so now i definitely do not feel comfortable allowing my son to spend a summer in her house. i had to block his fathers phone number so now he cant call to speak to him because of her. my question is, will the judge allow me to send my son with my mother so he is close and his father can visit him there, or will i HAVE to allow him to stay with his father regardless he lives with his crazy girlfriend just because we have joint custody?

  • jorge

    I have Joint Legal Custody/every weekend visitation.The mother denied my visits on April 30,2011.Saying that the clerk told her :”if the child doesn’t want to go she cant be force,”.So i went back to court to file a violation (thats her 3 violation).And now today i have her again i told her mom get her ready she says;” yo u get her ready,she don’t wanna go i’m not going to abuse her.”I go there at 5pm she not ready my child doesn’t want to look at me,and ex mother said,”if you don’t want to go with daddy i call the cops saying u don’t want to go”.I said get her ready! My ex father gets it and say,”get the **** out my house,screaming,yelling,in front my daughter the mother doesn’t do **** about it and i call the cops to file a report..And like i was literally kicked out the house my child is being poison by those people what are the chances for seeking primary custody???

    PS:everything was caught on cam on my cell,and the mother went to court after i violated her and she wants my visits terminated for no reason..

    PS:And she put in child support,but dont let my kid,and i’m asking if my daughter has a dr appointment she ignores me and texting on her stupid phone..

  • Kimberly

    I got pregnant by an ex boyfriend, we broke up before i found out for sure. He had nothing to do with myself or the baby the whole time i was pregnant and when i gave birth all of a sudden that was his baby with no doubt. He had his lawyer write up custody papers and he deliverad the papers to me. Now hes mad because i said im not signing the because i signed up for families first and the state is taking it to court so he said he is suing for custody. Will he get to take her from me? I have the threat and everything.

  • Stay@homedad

    I have been a stay at home dad for almost 3 years of my daughter that is going on 4 years old and my son is 1 1/2 year old. And I’ve been home with my son since the first day he came home from hospital. Here lately baby’s momma and I have not been getting along and have been talking about splitting up. Would I get sole custody of my daughter and my son? I give them baths, I do their laundry, I cook them breakfast lunch and dinner for them and for her. And I’m the one who reads to them before bed. I feel like I should get sole custody.

  • Jean

    I have filed for divorce from my husband who is very controlling and jealous. We have a young son under 5 years old. My husband works a job where he is on call often and has to return to work when he gets called in. He has no support system who would watch our son when he gets called into work. He also allows our son to stay up as late as he wants, even after midnight watching tv. I put him to bed and then my husband goes in and turns the tv on for him every day (even weekdays when he goes to preschool the next morning). Then I have to get him up and dress him in his sleep and take him to pre-school with him half-asleep. I am asking for majority custody because my husband is creating bad habbits for my child (he stays up late every night and has since he was a child). I have a stressful job 4 days a week and was told today I am on probation for 30 days – my review is coming up and I’m sure they don’t want to pay me the raise I have coming. IF I lose my job, how will this hurt my chances of getting majority custody. I do have other part-time income which could get me by for awhile…plus I’m planning on moving back home with my parents (with my son) for awhile after the divorce. They are wonderful with him and have been the only one to watch him for us. My husband’s family have never watched him and would never see my son except we take him to their house. They never come to our house to see him. My husband has no friends or no family who live close enough to give him any help. What are my chances of getting my child majority custody? I don’t think it would be fair to him to have to live with his father one week and live one lifestyle, and then come stay with me at my parents house and live a normal lifestyle where he goes to bed at a normal hour every night. Thank you for your response.

  • Larry

    My ex wife is not working right now and she is living in a unfit environment with our kids….I pay child support too but she doesnt even let them come visit me like the court ordered her to.Is it possible that I can get custody of them.

  • Kim

    Ok my little brother had a baby Aug 20th and The mother is playing with him saying he can’t have him can I file for partial custody?

  • Elizabeth

    I have a 2 year old son. The father & I were never married & we have many issues concerning how often he gets to see our son. He is a great father but the house he lives at is not fit for him. Especially overnight. They live in a two bedroom house & six people live there. & most night the father moms’ boyfriend sleeps over and my exs girlfriend which makes a total of 8 people in this tiny house. Everytime I go over there they are all drinking. My ex says he is not drinking if Kaiden is there but I have showed up unannounced before & cuaght him with a beer in his hand… hes only 20…. My son has to sleep on the couch if he is there and I think he should be at my house in his own bed at night. His father will not make a set schedule with me because he says”i dont ever know what I have going on, we can just play it by ear” but he gets very angry with me if he calls and says he want our son to come stay with him & I say we already have plans. I can just drop everything for him. If I decide that I want to take this to court… do you think he would still get him on weekends even if Kaiden has no where to sleep at that house?

  • wood

    my daughters mom passed a few days ago but we never had a custody order only child support what do i have to do to get my kid from the grandmother

  • Jessica

    I lived in Pa with my ex for almost a year with my 5 month old daughter and 20 month old son. he drank, was verbally and mentally abusive and I needed to get out. I had no money or car. So he served me with a paper stating i couldnt leave the state with my daughter. he has 0 rights to my son bc my son is not his. I left my daughetr behind and moved with my mom to Ny and hired a lawyer that same week of moving. He limits my visits and phone calls and the only time he is nice and allows me to se emy daughter is when i agreed to work things out with him. he says my moms house is unsafe so my lawyer told me to take pictures. i told him i didnt want to be with someone that would take my baby away from me. He is trying to get physical custody of my daughter. i work part time and live with my mother. i have friends and family here, he has noone out there other then co workers and the day care that babysits my daughter. On the days he doesnt work he works out at the gym and leaves her with a second babysitter. he works full time and has a way better job then me. My question is what are my chances of getting physical custody of my daughter?

  • christina

    my parents are about to file for divorce and my mom says that the state probably won’t let them have joint cause my mom called the cops on my dad beacuse of a threat or something. she says they won’t let me live with him. but i want him to have custody, she’s emotional, and i can’t take her. do i get to decide who i want to have custody? I’m almost sixteen and live in oregon. my dad has a good job, will be at home plenty of the time, and has a good place to live.is there any chance i can chose?



  • Debb

    My daughter is in a verbally abusive relationship. She wants to leave and move back home with her father and I, but he is threatening to take her unborn baby from her is she leaves. My husband and I have a very stable marraige of 25 years and our own home. What can we do to protect our daughter?

  • jusWondering

    i have recently filed for full custody of my now 4 year old daughter. her father went to federal prison when she was 4 months old. he was recently released to a half way house. i dont want him to just be able to take her n i can do nothing about it. he isnt stable, has no job or ever has had one, and still hangs with the wrong people. how can i guarentee to get custody?

  • lovemychildren12611

    Ok so here’s my question what do you do if you are in a relationship with your babies father and you are not getting along and the father gets drunk all the time and there is not coustody extablish all the time he tells you you can’t leave with our son cause you have no were to go but the inviroment your living in is unhealthy and you will only be 3 hours away to were you do have a place to go but it crosses state borders can he really do this to me? Can I not leave with my son?

  • Xaviersdad

    im going through a divorce and my current wife she cheated on me and have proof of adultery (louisiana) and she wont let me see my son n we havent went to court yet and she has already lied on me and called the police saying i threatened to take her life but didnt and got put in jail and had to plead guilty to get out of jail cause i had noone to bail me out and did it to get out and i have a clean record before this and have never been in trouble with the law ever will this prevent me from getting joint custody of my son?

  • WorriedNanaTexas

    My daughter is leaving her husband, she has a son by this man and wants to move back home with her dad and I. But her husband is telling her that if she leaves she better get an apartment, cause moving in with your parents while going through a divorce does not look good in court when you have a Child (Texas) is this true? He says hes not going to try to take the child away from her. Shoudl she get her own apartment? she was wanting to try to save money so she could get her own place, its hard for her to save money being with him as he’s controlling and they have seperate bank accounts.

  • sick amd tied

    my kids went with there dad and he was suspose to bring them back 2 weeks later. he took them down to the dhs office and put them on aid and than told the aid office i was frauding them. the worst part is i dont know where they are can someone help me please i need my kids

  • dwyanne

    my ex took my then 3 yr old daughter and disappeared and i recently found her through a p.i. and took her to court. while in court i found out that she is unfit and gave a notarized statement without my knowledge giving temporary custody to her mother in Ga. They lied and said i abandoned my daughter. I live in Colorado and my daughter was born here also, but now i have to fight for custody against her mother. do i have a good case if i have proof of different p.i.s that i have hired to try and find her since they said i “abandoned ” my daughter.?

  • francis

    I have a friend who just had a baby. About a week go she is curently liveing with her boy friend who is also her baby daddy. But she is haveing some issues her boyfriend works but At The end of The night comes home with no money to help with buying things for The baby and also wont help out . She is very tired all day and needs help with takeing Care of her new borne. But she does not have a job or another place to Live. The father says he will go to court nd take The vaby away from hervecause of that. what should she do? How can she handle his?

  • Ramona

    My boyfreinds ex and he have a 9 year old daughter together. He has only seen her a hand full of times because they kept moving around. he knew she was being cared for by family members so he kept that in mind. he has always tried to see her but she never lets him. We have talked a little through facebook and always asked if she needed anything or if his daughter was okay. He pays her child support every month. We also have 3 children together. We live in a stably and clean home. A few days ago he got a letter saying his ex gave temporary guardianship to this woman who also took her other 3 kids as well. She said the reason she gave her guardianship is because they needed a stable home and she couldn’t afford to care for them. She said when she gets back she needs to show that she can provide a stable home and can support them. I am thinking she is going to jail because she recently got arrested and got a felony charge. What can we do about this. We can pprovide her with what she needs and we have family around that can also help. Can we be granted custody or file something? Please help with some advice. We truly would appreciate it.

  • Sara

    My husband has had physical custody of his two kids 13 and 11 for eight years. The mom was living out of the area until two years ago. They had worked out a verbal agreement of every other weekend and a week at a time in the summer time. She is now requesting that the 13 year old go live with her full time and the 11 year old a week at a time. What are the chances of her getting what she is asking for? We live in montana if that makes a difference.

  • Sara

    My husband has had physical custody of his two kids 13 and 11 for eight years. The mom was living out of the area until two years ago. They had worked out a verbal agreement of every other weekend and a week at a time in the summer time. She is now requesting that the 13 year old go live with her full time and the 11 year old a week at a time. What are the chances of her getting what she is asking for? We live in montana if that makes a difference

  • mike

    i have a ? me and my ex girlfriend have 2 daughters we are in the process of going to court… my ? is shes letting my youngest daughter call him daddy confuseing our oldest daughter.. i asked her nicely to stop but refuses what can i do to me thats interfearing

  • tina

    My son who is 24 has two sons 4 months and 3 years with his girlfriend who has lived with us for 41/2 years. She has a 4 year old by someone else. It has been a rocky relationship the whole time they have been together. I pay for everything he buys diapers every once in awhile and the girlfriend doesn’t work. About 6 months ago she let her aunt take the oldest child because she couldn’t handle him. ( I had no say since i’m told all the time i’m not his biological grandma) Any way now the son doesn’t want to be with her and he wants her to move out she has no where to go . Now she wants the kids and he wants the kids. But I don’t think either of them are responsible enough . I understand they are there parents but the best interest of the children would not be with them. Please any advice on what to do before this gets ugly i don’t wanna lose my grandkids..

  • kiara

    Hi umm can someone help me im 14 and just recently came from the san francisco civic something courthouse so they can decide where i will go (my aunty or my parents.) The thing is i wanted to go home but my aunty nd everyone were lik telling me nd messing with mind to say no so i told the judge a lie basically nd now my aunt has legal gardianship over me. I just wanna know can i change that ever again will i beable to go for ever at all with them im comfussed i reall miss them this is my ninth year without them so plzz help will i beable to go home and just change my mind caz god knows thats where i dreamed of being nd living i just hope i can so plszz answer me i need lots of answers in this case. :'(

  • sharlyn

    i was married before but my husband send me home for vacation bcause we always fight, then after a month i recieve a devorce paper from his atty. but. boom i got dvorce without any words. but the thing is my kid was with him and he wants to have sole custudy but the judge put a hand written that he has a temporary custudy, i was in thailand and couldnt go back to the US so i didnt see my kid for 4 yrs now…i dont know what to do bcause im scared i will hurt my kid if i try to get an atty for custudy and i dont know if the judge would grant me that custudy. the case was in nj btw. just need help. thank u guys

  • Sara

    I am trying to find out if this is true. I have a friend who is been divoce for the last 3 years. They got 3 kids together. The husband own a house that where ex is staying at right now. Court changed there schedule and from 3-4 days a week to 2 days a week visitation to the dad. He’s been good and kept up on his child support and alumni payment. So now the court order the wife to find a job and also for those 2 days where dad is suppose to have them to leave the house so dad can stay with kids in the same place rather than moving around kids. How could a court order that?

  • Shelly

    I have a son who wants to live in a different state and i have a friend that i can send him to can i give him custody of my son so that he can start over and do better

  • James

    Ok so this is what’s happening, Me and my wife have been split up since dec. 20th of 2011 and have not filed our divorce or seperation papers yet. She has moved her new boyfriend into her mothers house with them. He recently got out of prison and likes to drink. He has abused my ex and I am scared for my daughter’s safety. I am planning on filing the divorse and going for full custody but what can I do in the mean time? She also has no job and lives of mine and her other daughters fathers child support and also is pregnant with another child. They live in a single wide mobile home which is always dirty and her mother just recieved a dui and is facing jail time. I need some of the best advice I could ever recieve right now and dont have the money for a lawyer.. HELP!

  • patrice

    If the father of my kids live with his girlfriend does that show that he is stable to get my kids, being that the house isn’t his?

  • disappointed

    My husband and I recently seperated. I was hoping that we could still save our marriage. When he first left I had to be looking for him the days we agreed that he would watch the baby, which was very frustrating. Every weekend he had to be with him he was late and his breath smelled like alcohol. Then he started showing up not only late but in a girls car. Wow, not even a month after we split. The week after, he showed up in ANOTHER girls car, late and breath smelled like alcohol. I refused to let him take my son. This past weekend i was struggling to buy milk and diapers. He cut me off financially but he was on a trip with that girl. I don’t know where he lives, he doesn’t call, text email. His family has alianated me and my son and talk bad about me on Facebook. I want to fight for sole custody and he is not to be around his family. Do I have a shot???? I filed first thing monday.

  • Dorothy Dawson-Spencer

    I am pregnant and single I moved to Colorado 6 months ago and I am 5 months pregnant. I want to move back to missouri. Can I legally do this without the bio father permission?

  • helpmedone23

    I have two children with my girlfriend we’ve been together 7 years I am done with this relationship she has not worked in almost 5 years I’m a good provider I’ve been faithful to my girlfriend she sits around all day playing online video games I work long hours and I spend any waking moment with my children
    I would never think of taking the children from her completely I’m getting ready to tell her that I’m moving out but I will pay for everything that I’ve been paying now all I want is the right to come see my children and have them on my days off but if she were to get malicious and take me to court what
    should I do I pay the bills now but I can barely afford to do that but my children never go without and i always get things paid

  • sallie muller

    My ex has overnight visitation for my daughter but he works overnight so she ends of staying with his girlfriend who he lives with. Can I legally pick up my daughter when he is working since he isn’t there for the visitation?

  • Question by bigstarwarsgeek: Dating advice for a single Dad? I would
    like to get back into the dating scene, but am a 35 year old, divorced
    father of 4 children. The bar scene is definately not …

  • Concerned parent of 3 miracles

    My ex and I have got as far as we can get in mediation and a hearing is set for May. I want physical custody of my children. He is going to jail on Friday, but only for 25 days on work release for his 3rd duii.

    Is there an order I can get for full custody while he is in there? He has been abusive to me for years and I finally have my own place and have the kids the majority of the time and am afraid of him. But, I know that I am the better parent. I have been the sole caretaker of the children since before birth, but he has been the major bread winner. I was a stay at home mom for 10 years. When I called the cops on him about 5 years ago, he was made to leave but left me with all the past bills and made me lose my TANF by keeping the kids from me because were are unmarried coparents who had no parenting order.

    Since I removed him from the home, he has sought and got revenge on me in multiple ways and I am afraid that when he gets out he will go back to his old behaviors. He wants me to be with him, and I don’t want to be, so he uses the kids as a pawn. He has a good job and gets welfare and refuses to pay child support or give me the majority of parenting time on paper so it makes it very difficult for me financially. I do however get to have them right now for the majority of the time, so I am hesitant to rock the boat because ultimately I just want to take care of my children every day or almost every day. I understand that they love their father and want him in their life, but I want to keep that to a minimum because of the behaviors he has and I don’t trust him to parent them in a healthy way.

    He has diabetes and over feeds them and I want to help them to have a healthy lifestyle. He doesn’t monitor his blood sugar and goes into diabetic rages and it scares me. He has had his feet operated on twice, his hands are swollen now for 3 weeks, and his eyes have to get shots in them. I don’t want this to be the story for my children. I want them to eat balanced meals and participate in physical activity like sports to help get them more healthy and avoid developing diabetes like their dad and his family have.

    • Concerned parent of 3 miracles

      I could go on and on. But I have homework to do right now, last term for my Bachelors, he got a GED in his late 30’s only after I convinced him that he could pass. I appreciate any advice that we you can give. Our mediator was amazing and I think she was able to see the big picture and get us to compromise on most of the issues. There are only a few key pieces left. I’m not sure if I should just let things go as is and wait until the hearing or until he hides them from me again and I make the wrong move. He has had me arrested several times for “trespassing” when he hides my kids at his moms and continues to set me up. I worry a lot about the kids and he didn’t give me the visitation the court awarded me, every other day, so I violated the restraining order to try and check on them.

      • Concerned parent of 3 miracles

        My ex threatened to quit his job 3+ times while in mediation. Finally, she said and how is that going to help your family. He got mad a few times in there and she had to steer the conversation to something else quickly. That is in front of a court mediator. Imagine what it is like without someone in that position to try to get him to compromise. Impossible.

  • butty

    The guy my girlfriend left me for dumped her for someone he works with after casting the win ex back spell which my friend introduce me to! the win ex back spell works fast! Of course she called me and pleaded for my forgiveness and now she always want to be with me,she is always attached to me now trusting everything i say to her. I love knowing I had everything to do with this winexbackspell@gmail.com for i will keep shearing the goodness until i am satisfy.

  • micky

    hi everyone im 15 years old my mom and dad are still married but my father has been in prison for about 2-3 years but my mom got a boyfriend but both of them dont know my mom loves them both but my mother is currentley in jail while my father just got out and is a half way house while my brothers are living with my moms boyfriend then theres me i got put at my gmas house but i hate it here alot i miss my old life but im never gonna get that back this is my last resort my last straw but she doesnt have guardian ship over me im thinking about just leaving aand going to live with closer family now can she call me in as a run away ? And should i tell my father about my moms boyfriend please help me out !!!!

  • sam

    my mom and i wont to see my nephue my brother has court papers saying he gets him every other weekend but my nephues mom wont return our phone call or let us see him. we went back to the court house to see what we could do because the mother was not fallowing court oders the court told us there was nothing we could do with out getting another lawer and taking her back to court we dont have a lot of money what should we do it has been almost 6months since we has seen him ps we live in lovley Utah

  • pamela

    My son just got out of prison and is on parole for DUI..while he was in prison his ex gave his kids up to her mother because she has new boyfriend and doesn’t want them. She has two other kids by someone else but she has kept them. Now that my son is out he wants his kids. Can he get custody since he’s on parole..he was always a big part of their lives before this and just wants his kids back. He has a job and stable living for them..

  • Elizabeth

    I want to move to texas from Virginia with my 3 kids. I am seperated from there dad and neither one of us has full custody. I have always taken care of the kids and everything. He isn’t paying child support and is behind like $6,000 or more. He says I can’t take them to texas he won’t let. But he doesn’t take care of his children. Do I have to have his permission to take the kids to another state to live?

  • david

    I have had temp custody of my daughter for 7 months and my divorce is 4 weeks away.The mother is in and out of the home.She has a history of depression and anger what is my chances of getting full custody

  • I need help

    I’ve taken care of and been a single parent to my now 5 year old son since his birth. His father has always been in and out of his life at his conviencance. He’s never wanted just my son. His famous word were “If I cant have both of yall i dont want either”. Me bing the person I am, the first two years I tried to be a “family” with him. He was very controlling and abusive to me so I ended it. He didnt take that very well but eventually I strted asking him to watch our son while i worked or if he wanted to keep him a weekend here or there. He would hardly watch him because he thought when he had our son, i was out partying or with other guys and that was his control method. He was suppose to keep him friday through Sunday and he would be late to pick him up friday and then would call me saturday morning to come pick him up bc he “couldnt handle it” or “made plans”. I never stopped asking him to be apart of my sons life. Then one day I met a man (the man im engaged to now) who is black and his crazy increased 10xs more. He started stalking me, messaging threats to me and also sending messages to my boyfriend about how he was going to kill him and that no N**** would be around his son. My son had just turned four when his father satrted teaching him “bad words” to say to my boyfriend and/or not to listen to me or my boyfriend and to bite or hit us. One night on the way to a family gathering I met up to get my son back from satying the night with his father and my boyfriend hwas with me because I didnt feel safe. We;; with my son present he drags me out of the car when we pull up, pushes me to the ground and then proceeds to jump into my car to beat up my boyfriend. Eventually pulls him out of the car and continues to beat up on him while i call the cops. He recieved a domestic assualt that night and went to jail and ever since then we have been in and out of court because now he wants 50/50 or full custody. I dont know what to think anymore becthe judge in our county is very BIG on 50/50 and honestly thats not what is best for my son. His home, school, friends, sports are with me and in our town.

  • katrina johnson

    I have a daughter who is almost 2 (will be 2 on dec 13th) me and her dad split up on july 14th of this year we have yet to go to court for custody let alone child support. I have had my daughter full time other then her dads weekend visits every other weekend. I am the one who has provided for her diapers, wipes, clothes, taken her to the drs appointments, bought her shoes, put a roof over her head since he threw us out for another girl who is now living with him and has been since 2 days after he threw me and my daughter and my son out. What are my chances of getting full custody of my daughter when we go in front of the court. Also when he gets her she comes home with a horrible diaper rash to the point of almost bleeding every time, she comes home with bruises, today he dropped her off with her wrist hurt and didnt even tell me about it. We thought it was broken and had to take her to the er bc it was swollen and turning blue and she could hardly use it. Thankfully turned out to be just a sprang but still he didnt even tell me she fell while he had her for thanksgiving. Im in wv and wanted to see if anyone could tell me what my chances are legally of getting full custody of her when we go to court. Havent gotten a date yet even for child support so i know itll be a while but still thought it might bring me some peace of mind.

  • worried

    I’m a stay at home mom of 3 years not only my daughter but his two children 12 and 11 years old. Last month I had subnorachnoid hemorage which has put taking care of them on him. We haven’t been getting along. I willnot leave unless I can get rresidential custody of our daughter. We r not married. I have taken care of his kids for 10 years. What should I do to grarantee I get her and he doesn’t use my brain surgery against me?

  • dale doback

    My girlfriend created on me and kicked me out now seeking custody she only lets me see our daughter when its convenient for her do I have a shot and getting custody. Mind we both live with our parents

  • Juliette M

    i have a daughter thats 5 now. When i was pregnant her father was imprisoned.We got married before she was born and before he was sentenced. He served 4 years. Once he returned home i tried being a family,it didnt work out so i moved onto a new relationship. my daughter and i now live with my current fiance. My ex husband and i have joint custody but im thinking about getting full custody if possible. Because not only did he serve 4 yrs already but got arrested again a few months ago and may serve time again depending on the court obviously. Child support isnt being paid regularly, thats my fault for not going through the courts. I handled custody and child support funds with a mediator. My question is do i have the upper hand and what do you think will happen in my case? Child support funds is tricky because from what i understand the court will view his income and from whatever hes making a certain percentage will be given to my daughter. Problem is he jumps from job to job and from what he tells me he works off the books.

  • nelly

    So my baby dad slash husband was to get my kids for the weekend and now he refuses to give them back.. He is not on the birthcerticat so how do I get them back in my custody from him?

  • Beth

    We just got the court’s decision back in the mail. I have full custody and he has standard visitation. We have had a family vacation planned for a few months. I told him about the vacation schedule and he does not want to let our daughter go because he would be missing a weekend with her. I have offered to make up that weekend at his convenience and I also told him that I would be happy to accommodate any vacation that he planned with her. He still refuses to let her go. What should I do? Am I going to get into legal trouble for taking her on a family vacation that everyone else in the family is going to attend?

  • Brandi Melvin

    My husband got out of jail and came by to visit our children and I agreed for them to go get breakfast. Two hours later he called and said I was never gonna see them again. After calling law enforcement agencies I was told it was a family court matter and there was nothing they could help me with. I didn’t, at the time, know for almost 2 weeks where they were until I received a temporary ex parte order with lies about all kinds of bs from him. I went to court without representation and had it continues. He o ly has an attorney because his mom and new girlfriend pays for it. So the next time court came I finiacially could not appear, worst mistake, but with him being in jail those 3 months I had to pay for everything even take care of his other child from a previous marriage. Now he tells me he was granted sole custody and I have no rights. He won’t let me talkv Ty o my two kids and I miss them so much I can’t take it. I can’t afford attorney to even find out what I can do. I’m stuck. I want to see my kids!!!!

  • Rissa793!!

    My X lives in a halfway house and wants joint custody because he doesn’t want to pay child support. He lives with6 other ex-drugaddicts .I don’t think this is even possible but with Delaware law is it???